Podcast appearances and mentions of Dan Allender

Have you ever felt unseen in a place where you were supposed to be known? Or like the more you tried to bring your true self forward, the more you were asked to hide it? Today on the podcast, author Aimee Byrd joins Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to talk about her new book, Saving Face: Finding My Self, God, and One Another Outside a Defaced Church.  It's a deeply personal and theological reflection on spiritual abuse, identity, and healing—especially in the wake of church systems that no longer reflect the face of Christ. Together, they explore what it means to reclaim your face—your personhood, your story, your sacred calling. Aimee draws on the rich insight of philosopher Emmanuel Levinas, who wrote that the face is not merely a physical feature, but the place where we encounter both God and one another. To truly see another's face is to take responsibility for their dignity and to recognize Christ's presence there. Aimee shares her story of how a system that promised reform instead left her mocked, erased, and dehumanized. In that disillusionment, she came to a painful but powerful realization: we don't just need reform. We need resurrection. A death to false forms of power, toxic moralism, and spiritual posturing—and a return to humility, presence, and love. This conversation offers an honest look at the loneliness of holding onto your God-given identity when others turn away, the courage it takes to seek the face of God in others, and the deep hope that emerges when we begin to see—and be seen—face to face. Listen to this week's episode about “Saving Face” with Aimee Byrd, and be sure to pick up a copy of her book at: https://aimeebyrd.com/saving-face/

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the crucial topic of expectations in marriage, focusing on the difference between assumed and discussed expectations. We share lots of personal stories and insights, highlighting how unspoken assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Our conversation focuses on the importance of open communication and dialogue to foster a healthier relationship. I reflect on my own marriage, illustrating how discussing expectations can transform a relationship from merely coexisting to truly sharing life. We encourage you, if you're married, to engage in meaningful discussions about expectations to avoid the pitfalls of unspoken assumptions.For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.Topics Covered in this Episode: The distinction between assumed expectations and discussed expectations in marriage.The impact of unspoken assumptions on misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships.The importance of open communication and dialogue in addressing expectations.Personal anecdotes illustrating the challenges of navigating expectations in marriage.The influence of family backgrounds on partners' expectations and roles.The collaborative process of navigating expectations as a couple.The necessity of ongoing discussions about expectations as relationships evolve.The role of awareness and perception in understanding each other's viewpoints.Strategies for initiating meaningful discussions about expectations in marriage.The overall message that couples are better together through intentional communication and collaboration.More Resources:The Deep-Rooted Marriage* by Dan Allender and Steve CallRenewing Us Couples RetreatFind a Counselor or CoachRelated Podcasts:Breaking Down Barriers: The Art of Active ListeningThe Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight4 Skills to Transform Your Marriage*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

Turns out, the stuff we haven't dealt with from childhood shows up ... right in the middle of our relationships. Sit down with Juli and Dr. Dan Allender as they discuss why we must be willing to explore our own stories in order to create safety, nurture curiosity, and repair what's broken. Guest: Dr. Dan Allender   Follow-up Resources: The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dr. Dan Allender Java with Juli #169 Your Wounded Heart (AI Members Only) Join an Online Book Study!

It's possible to experience a marriage that isn't just good, but truly life-giving. In this series conclusion, Dan and Becky Allender swap stories with John and Stasi on how to cultivate intimacy and delight within a marriage. They also reveal ways for spouses to repair what has been broken and choose each other again—whether in seasons of suffering or joy.Show Note: The Deep-Rooted Marriage, by Dan Allender and Steve Call, is available wherever you buy books._______________________________________________There is more.Got a question you want answered on the podcast? Ask us at Questions@WildatHeart.orgSupport the mission or find more on our website: WildAtHeart.org  or on our app.Apple: Wild At Heart AppAndroid: Wild At Heart AppWatch on YouTubeThe stock music used in the Wild at Heart podcast is titled “When Laid to Rest” by Patrick Rundblad and available here.More pauses available in the One Minute Pause app for Apple iOS and Android.Apple: One Minute Pause AppAndroid: One Minute Pause App

Underneath every addiction is a deeper ache—and a surprising path to healing. Bestselling author, therapist, and Episcopal priest Ian Morgan Cron joins Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to share insights from his newest book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. Ian invites us to reconsider the Twelve Steps—not just as a recovery tool for addicts, but as a grace-filled path of spiritual awakening for anyone longing for freedom, connection, and intimacy with God. This conversation is for everyone—not just those who identify as alcoholics or addicts. As Ian says, these steps offer healing to people who struggle with all kinds of attachments and compulsions: workaholism, people-pleasing, tech and porn addiction, codependency, control, food, spending, approval, sports betting… the list goes on. Ian points out that most of us are poly-addicted, caught in multiple patterns that disconnect us from God, ourselves, and each other. So this isn't about comparing struggles or measuring severity. It's about asking: Do I want to be free? Do I want to live with more honesty, grace, and surrender?  Whether or not you think you “need” the Steps, this conversation is a compassionate, humorous, and deeply spiritual invitation to let go of self-reliance and move toward the healing you were made for. Listen to Part 1 now, and be sure to come back next week for Part 2. In the meantime, you can order Ian's new book here: https://ianmorgancron.com/thefix  Please Note: This episode contains some mature language; listener discretion is advised.  

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “Who Are You” with a discussion about identifying and healing from trauma with Jesus with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist whose services have focused on marriage, trauma, and sexual abuse for over 47 years. He is also a Professor of Counseling Psychology at the Seattle School. Dr. Allender is also the cofounder of The Allender Center, where Dr. Allender’s teaching, training, and writing can help others with a vision of healing and transformation. He has also written several books, including “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” We also heard a new set of Dad jokes during “Ally Thinks It’s Funny.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “Who Are You” with a discussion about identifying and healing from trauma with Jesus with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist whose services have focused on marriage, trauma, and sexual abuse for over 47 years. He is also a Professor of Counseling Psychology at the Seattle School. Dr. Allender is also the cofounder of The Allender Center, where Dr. Allender’s teaching, training, and writing can help others with a vision of healing and transformation. He has also written several books, including “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” We also heard a new set of Dad jokes during “Ally Thinks It’s Funny.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “Who Are You” with a discussion about identifying and healing from trauma with Jesus with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist whose services have focused on marriage, trauma, and sexual abuse for over 47 years. He is also a Professor of Counseling Psychology at the Seattle School. Dr. Allender is also the cofounder of The Allender Center, where Dr. Allender’s teaching, training, and writing can help others with a vision of healing and transformation. He has also written several books, including “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” We also heard a new set of Dad jokes during “Ally Thinks It’s Funny.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “Who Are You” with a discussion about identifying and healing from trauma with Jesus with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist whose services have focused on marriage, trauma, and sexual abuse for over 47 years. He is also a Professor of Counseling Psychology at the Seattle School. Dr. Allender is also the cofounder of The Allender Center, where Dr. Allender’s teaching, training, and writing can help others with a vision of healing and transformation. He has also written several books, including “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” We also heard a new set of Dad jokes during “Ally Thinks It’s Funny.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “Who Are You” with a discussion about identifying and healing from trauma with Jesus with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist whose services have focused on marriage, trauma, and sexual abuse for over 47 years. He is also a Professor of Counseling Psychology at the Seattle School. Dr. Allender is also the cofounder of The Allender Center, where Dr. Allender’s teaching, training, and writing can help others with a vision of healing and transformation. He has also written several books, including “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” We also heard a new set of Dad jokes during “Ally Thinks It’s Funny.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “Who Are You” with a discussion about identifying and healing from trauma with Jesus with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist whose services have focused on marriage, trauma, and sexual abuse for over 47 years. He is also a Professor of Counseling Psychology at the Seattle School. Dr. Allender is also the cofounder of The Allender Center, where Dr. Allender’s teaching, training, and writing can help others with a vision of healing and transformation. He has also written several books, including “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” We also heard a new set of Dad jokes during “Ally Thinks It’s Funny.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our weekly theme of “Who Are You” with a discussion about identifying and healing from trauma with Jesus with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist whose services have focused on marriage, trauma, and sexual abuse for over 47 years. He is also a Professor of Counseling Psychology at the Seattle School. Dr. Allender is also the cofounder of The Allender Center, where Dr. Allender’s teaching, training, and writing can help others with a vision of healing and transformation. He has also written several books, including “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” We also heard a new set of Dad jokes during “Ally Thinks It’s Funny.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every marriage is an ongoing story with its own highs and lows, joys and difficulties. Depending on which season we are in, we may start to see marriage as the best thing that has ever happened to us or the source of our angst. If you've been following our journey for a while, you know that my husband Mark and I share openly about the struggles as well as the victories in our marriage. God has used every obstacle we've encountered to grow us in so many ways.The truth we hope you walk away with today is that marriage is actually our ultimate invitation to grow.  If we allow it, God will use our marriage to shape us into someone who is deeper, healthier, and more rooted in Christ. Our guest believes wholeheartedly that if we are willing to examine the stories of our past that are influencing the present, we can write a new story for the future.Dr. Dan Allender has a long history in the therapy world. As the author of over two dozen books and the founder of The Allender Center, he believes that true healing and restoration occur when we courageously step into our stories of pain.In this episode, you'll hear:The value of vulnerably stepping into each other's pastsWhy it's important to disrupt destructive patternsOne of the key factors to resolve any conflictAnd more!These principles have proven so beneficial in our marriage. We hope this conversation helps you write a new story for your own relationships.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/dan-allender-248You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill's Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You're the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Dan and Becky Allender join John and Stasi Eldredge for a two-part conversation about the highs and lows of married life. Drawing from Dan's new book—The Deep-Rooted Marriage—they talk about why spouses often feel unseen, unheard, or neglected, the greatest agent of harm in a marriage, and how to overcome it by cultivating intimacy, healing, honor, and delight.Show Note: The Deep-Rooted Marriage, by Dan Allender and Steve Call, is available wherever you buy books._______________________________________________There is more.Got a question you want answered on the podcast? Ask us at Questions@WildatHeart.orgSupport the mission or find more on our website: WildAtHeart.org  or on our app.Apple: Wild At Heart AppAndroid: Wild At Heart AppWatch on YouTubeThe stock music used in the Wild at Heart podcast is titled “When Laid to Rest” by Patrick Rundblad and available here.More pauses available in the One Minute Pause app for Apple iOS and Android.Apple: One Minute Pause AppAndroid: One Minute Pause App

Welcome to another episode of Restoring the Soul with Michael John Cusick. In today's honest and insightful conversation, Michael sits down with Dr. Dan Allender—a renowned therapist, author, and longtime mentor—to discuss Dan's latest book, The Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored with Dr. Steve Call and enriched by the wisdom and vulnerability of their wives, Becky Allender and Lisa Call.This episode isn't just a discussion about techniques for a better marriage—it's a candid exploration of the real, raw journey through conflict, trauma, shame, and, ultimately, transformation inside marriage. Dan and Michael reflect on how our histories, wounds, and unmet needs shape our relationships; why true change can't happen without naming the truth; and how attunement, humility, and honest confession become the very soil in which a marriage can deeply root and flourish.You'll hear moving stories from Dan's own marriage, laughter about old cars and TV shows, and wisdom about the tension between safety and danger in vulnerability. It's a heartfelt look at how marriages are shaped not only by their joys but also by their hardest moments—and why learning to bless, be curious, and face the deep roots beneath our conflicts is the path to lasting intimacy and hope.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

What happens when a woman names harm in her church community—and instead of support, she's met with silence, suspicion, or even exile?  Too often, the church's response to abuse and inequity reveals a painful truth: that protecting systems has taken precedence over protecting people. In this powerful and layered conversation, Dr. Andrew J. Bauman joins Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to confront the realities explored in Andrew's new book Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities.  Together, they discuss: The cost many women pay for speaking up: isolation, lost community, and spiritual disillusionment How even “progressive” churches can harbor subtle patterns of power and control The stark data that exposes ongoing gender inequity in ministry The personal stories that bring this reality to life—and why representation matters What a truly safe and equitable church could look like This is not just a conversation about what's broken—it's a call to build something better. A church where truth is welcomed, not silenced. Where policies protect the vulnerable. Where power is shared, not hoarded. And where the sacred image of God in women is honored, nurtured, and empowered. Whether you're a survivor, a leader, or someone wrestling with disillusionment, this episode offers a brave and hopeful vision of what the church can become—if we have the courage to tell the truth and move toward change. Related Resources: Order your copy of Dr. Andrew J. Bauman's SAFE CHURCH: How to Guard Against Sexism & Abuse in Christian Communities. Listen to the Allender Center Podcast episode: “Connections Between Spiritual and Sexual Abuse” Continue to learn with these self-paced online courses from the Allender Center: Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course and the Healing the Wounded Heart Online Course

How Do We Overcome the Hidden Forces Behind Marital Challenges?   How does your relationships—or even your parents' marriage—shape the way you see beauty, brokenness, and the world itself? Therapist Dan Allender joins host Curtis Chang for a raw, insightful conversation on how relationships form the backbone of our worldview, especially in times of stress and trauma. They unpack hidden triggers behind marital conflict, the power of empathy over contempt, and why kindness and repentance are key to lasting connection. Whether you're navigating conflict or craving deeper intimacy, this episode delivers transformative wisdom for healthier, faith-rooted relationships.   Resources mentioned in this episode: Read Becky Allender's written pieces for The Allender Center Learn more about Steve Call's The Reconnect Institute Learn more about the work of Drs. John & Julie Gottman at The Gottman Institute   More From Dan Allender: Dan Allender & Steve Call's The Deep-Rooted Marriage Learn more about Dan's work at The Allender Center Check out Dan Allender's other books   Follow Us: Good Faith on Instagram Good Faith on X (formerly Twitter) Good Faith on Facebook   Sign up: Redeeming Babel Newsletter

If you've experienced the healing power of engaging your story—through a Story Workshop, Recovery Week, Narrative Focused Trauma Care® (NFTC) training, or a Story Group in your own context—you may have found yourself wondering: Why does this work feel so deeply transformative? What's actually happening here? In this special episode, we're pulling back the curtain on a groundbreaking, multi-year research project that's beginning to explore those very questions. Dr. Danielle Zurinsky of the Allender Center and Dr. David C. Wang of Fuller Theological Seminary join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to share what they're discovering so far—and why this moment matters. This work is part of a broader initiative we're calling the NFTC Model Research & Publication Project. It's an ambitious, long-term effort to clarify, codify, and formally articulate the core framework of Narrative Focused Trauma Care. Grounded in the decades-long work of Dr. Dan Allender, this project is about more than research—it's about building a foundation that allows this healing model to be recognized, trusted, and shared more widely. In today's conversation, we're letting you in early—before the publications—because we want this process to be rooted in relationship, transparency, and shared vision. Whether you're a practitioner, a past participant, or someone simply curious about the impact of story, you're part of this unfolding journey, too! And if your own healing has been shaped by story engagement with NFTC, this is a chance to be part of something bigger. You can support the continuation of this growing body of research—fueling everything from the team of scholars and writers to expanded training opportunities and broader recognition in therapeutic, academic, and spiritual spaces. You can visit theallendercenter.org/give to contribute at any financial level. We are currently fundraising to support the next phase of this project's continuation. Your contribution will help ensure this work continues—so more people, families, and communities can experience the deep transformation that comes through engaging their stories with courage and care. To learn more about NFTC, visit theallendercenter.org/nftc

Dr. Dan Allender joins Dr. Saundra to share how couples can grow deep-rooted intimacy by tending to pain, embracing conflict, and seeing marriage as a sacred journey of becoming one. Connect with Dr. Allender on Instagram. Get your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. I Choose My Best Life Podcast is one of the  Top 20 Christian Women Podcasts I Choose My Best Life Books: Being Fully Known, Colorful Connections, Sacred Rest, Come Empty, Set Free to Live Free Connect with Saundra: Twitter: @DrDaltonSmith Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drdaltonsmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrSaundraDaltonSmith

How do we handle pain, grief, tragedy, and disappointment? Coming up on Equipped, Susie Larson and author Dan Allender explain how we can trust God through deep valleys to find purpose, hope, and healing. Can suffering point us to our calling? Is joy possible? Call in with your questions and comments about redeeming heartache. Today's Resource: Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling   Equipped with Chris Brooks is made possible through your support.  To donate now, click here. This month's featured resource: Apologetics for an Ever-Changing Culture

The statistics on both men and women who have had to deal with the trauma of childhood sexual abuse are alarming and the results are often emotionally devastating. Dr. Dan Allender addresses the issue in his book The Wounded Heart and he joins host Don Hawkins to talk about overcoming the effects of sexual abuse. On our next segment, former Chick-fil-a CEO Dan Cathy and special guest discuss a topic that many men don’t want to talk about; their emotions. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Good Friday is often described as paradoxical—a day of deep sorrow somehow called “good.” In this moving episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite us into that paradox, not just as observers of the crucifixion story, but as participants—people whose own stories of betrayal, abandonment, and suffering echo the narrative of Jesus' final hours. Together, they explore what it means to enter into Good Friday by entering into our own “Fridays”—those dark and disorienting moments of our lives when we've not only been betrayed, but also betrayed others. The conversation invites us to reflect on the intersection between personal pain and collective suffering, and to consider how our experiences of humiliation, violence, and even despair connect us to the story of the cross. But this episode is not one of despair alone. It's an invitation to sit honestly in the tension of a day when evil seems to win, and yet—somehow—we dare to believe redemption is being forged in the depths of that agony. As Rachael says, it's a time when we're forced to confront the death of a dream, the silence between what is and what is promised. And yet, even in the sorrow, there is a movement toward hope. This topic is not easy—but it is so important to engage. We hope today's conversation offers space to weep, to name, and to consider how our own stories might be met and transformed by the suffering and love of Christ.  

In this episode, I am thrilled to welcome Dr. Steve Call, a clinical psychologist and co-author with Dr. Dan Allender of The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight*. We dive into the book's themes, focusing on how past traumas influence present marital conflicts and how to grow in emotional understanding and intimacy. Dr. Call shares his personal marriage journey, emphasizing the importance of awareness and curiosity in relationships. We discuss practical steps for couples to cultivate awareness, the role of play in healing, and strategies for managing triggers. Dr. Call offers hope and resources for couples to nourish their relationships.To learn more about Dr. Call's resources and to get the book, visit TheReconnectInstitute.com. Topics Covered in this Episode: Discussion of the book "The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.*"Exploration of how past experiences and traumas influence current marital conflicts.Importance of cultivating awareness and curiosity in relationships.The role of intensive counseling formats in addressing deep-rooted issues.Strategies for couples to develop awareness during conflicts.The significance of play in fostering connection and healing in marriage.Addressing triggers and shame in relationships, particularly during recovery.Practical strategies for emotional regulation and self-care during challenging moments.The metaphor of soil amendments to illustrate the need for nurturing relationships.Resources and support for couples seeking to deepen their connection and navigate challenges.More Resources:The Deep-Rooted Marriage* by Allender and CallMarriage Story IntensiveReconnect* by Dr. Steve CallRelated Podcasts:6 Hours that will Transform Your MarriageWorking Through Emotional Disconnection in MarriageGrowing a Stronger Marriage Even When it's Difficult*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

Take a brief survey for the show to influence future episodes.Note: I have listeners of all faith backgrounds that listen to the podcast. This episode is coming from a christian perspective so if that's something that doesn't fit what you're looking for, check out the other episode that dropped this week or join me back here next Tuesday for a conversation that you don't want to miss!Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. In today's conversation, I sit down with therapist and author Dan Allender to discuss his new book, Deep-Rooted Marriage. He shares how deeper intimacy can be a source of healing and joy. More often than not, the hidden forces fueling conflict and disconnection stem from the unresolved stories of our past. But if we're willing to examine them with honesty and courage, we can begin to rewrite a new, more hopeful story for the future.Links Discussed in This Episode |Podcast Episode: Diary of a CEO with Paul BrunsonConnect with Dan:InstagramWebsiteBook: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight About Dan|Dr. Dan Allender is a pioneer of a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy. He earned a master of divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary, followed by a Ph.D. in counseling psychology from Michigan State University. Dan served on the faculty of the Biblical Counseling Department at Grace Theological Seminary from 1983 to 1989 and at Colorado Christian University from 1989 to 1997. In 1997, Dan and a cadre of others founded the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, where he served as president from 2002 to 2009. In 2011, he established The Allender Center with the mission of fostering healing and equipping leaders and mental health professionals with the courage to confront others' stories of harm. Dan has authored or co-authored over two dozen books and continues to serve as a professor of counseling psychology at the Seattle School.Episode Sponsors |The Minimalist Moms Podcast would not be possible without the support of weekly sponsors. Choosing brands that I believe in is important to me. I only want to recommend brands that I believe may help you in your daily life. As always, never feel pressured into buying anything. Remember: if you don't need it, it's not a good deal!Enjoy the Podcast?Post a review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning into this podcast, then do not hesitate to write a review. You can also share this with your fellow mothers so that they can be inspired to think more and do with less. Order (or review) my book, Minimalist Moms: Living & Parenting With Simplicity.Questions |You can contact me through my website, find me on Instagram, Pinterest or like The Minimalist Moms Page on Facebook.Checkout the Minimalist Moms Podcast storefront for recommendations from Diane.If you've been struggling with motivation to declutter or work through bad habits that keep you stuck, I'd love to help you achieve your goals! We'll work together (locally or virtually) to discover what areas in your life are high priority to get you feeling less overwhelmed right away.  For more info on my processes, fees, and availability please contact!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/minimalist-moms-podcast2093/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Join us for an enlightening episode of the Typology Podcast as we dive deep into the complexities of marriage through the lens of the Enneagram with our special guests, Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call. In this episode, we explore insights from their book, The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Discover how the Enneagram can provide clarity in relationships, particularly for those navigating the challenges of shame and vulnerability. Dan, an Enneagram 8, and Steve, an Enneagram 3, share their personal experiences and therapeutic wisdom on how to foster deep connection and understanding in marriage. Key topics include: The importance of curiosity in conflict resolution How to cultivate awareness and mitigate shame and contempt The role of delight and awe in nurturing intimacy Practical advice for couples at different stages of marriage Whether you're in a new relationship or have been in a partnership for decades, this conversation offers valuable wisdom for anyone looking to strengthen their relationship. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from two seasoned experts in the field!  

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage. In this episode, we dive into: * The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary * Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that's actually a good thing * The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage * Why logic doesn't help when we get emotionally hijacked * How to fight well and grow through conflict Check out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan Deal Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their free pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods's Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is different. Dan Allender takes over the podcast to interview me about my new book titled, Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything. Topics covered include: how to respond when we fail those we love, how the book launch re-enacts core dynamics in my life, how to listen to the story your body is telling you, as well as your sexual story and your collective story.

In part 2 of this interview with Dr. Dan Allender, Heather and Dan delve into what it truly means to experience a deeper, more fulfilling marriage. Dr. Allender shared profound insights into how our past plays a crucial role in shaping our present and how this understanding can guide us toward redemption and healing in our relationships. Here are themes for our conversation today: Growth in Marriage: True growth in marriage is not just about comfort and convenience. It involves addressing past traumas and engaging with each other's differences to heal and understand the work of the spirit in our lives. The Role of Desire: Desire in a marriage is never equal, and understanding this difference can lead to greater curiosity and compassion rather than conflict. It's about exploring each other's hearts and seeking out redemption together. The Intersection of Shame and Delight: Our deepest areas of shame are often where we can find the most profound delight, especially in the context of marriage. Dr. Allender emphasized the importance of inviting kindness into our hearts to truly reflect this delight onto our spouses. Stay til the very end when Dr. Allender explains why shame and food are as interconnected as shame and sex! Learn more about Dr. Dan Allender and his new book: Deep-Rooted Marriage. (Amazon affiliate link) Learn more about Compared to Who? or join the next 40-Day Journey to Body Image Freedom here: https://www.improvebodyimage.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Are old survival habits silently sabotaging your marriage?

Today Heather Creekmore interviews an author, therapist, and pioneer in the trauma and abuse world, Dr. Dan Allender. As we wrap up our month-long series on marriage, today Heather and Dr. Allender explore how our past traumas impact our marriage, how our hurts from our family of origin may have actually impacted who we chose to marry, and how we can help our spouses heal and name their own woundings so that together we can have more than just a "good marriage," we instead can grow together as a couple who is able to honor and delight in each other.

"Marriage can be heaven, and marriage can be hell." -Dan Allender Anyone who is married knows that marriage can reach the extremes of human experience, and sometimes even in the same day. It's the lab in which we grow personally, and where we grow together. It's also the place where everything can fall apart. Today Dan Allender of The Allender Center joins us to explore the transformative power of marriage, particularly in midlife. He talks about the deep work of understanding one another's stories, the role of trauma in relationships (even if you feel like you don't have any), and the necessity of dealing with emotional triggers. Dan is both funny and deeply inspiring. He is an expert at the top of his field, and also the first one to reveal and share what he is experiencing in his own imperfect marriage. You will gain insight into the complexities of relationships, the importance of change-agents in marriage, the dynamics of conflict resolution, and come to a fresh understanding of how fighting for marriage is deeply spiritual work. SOME THINGS YOU HEARD ON THE SHOW: The Deeply Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Healing, Intimacy, and Delight by Dan Allender and Steve Call Unwanted by Jay Stringer website-Dan Allender Quotes from the episode: 35% of divorces are "gray divorces," meaning they involve couples 50 years of ago and older. Our brains have the power to change, but only by engagement deeply within what we'll call our right hemisphere, our emotional portions. If there is not a fabric of forgiveness, then we are in deep waters without a paddle. Difference is where almost all conflict begins. 70 % of the conflict in marriage does not have a right answer. You grow in trust by the capacity to deal with conflict, not to resolve, but to a deepened understanding. And to a deepened understanding allows us to allow difference to continue to occur.but without either the fear or the judgment that's often there. I hope the sense of having work to do is kind of like, I get to put my foot on the neck of evil here. Hell no, I do not want something that has lingered in my body and my heart and my mind to continue to shape something of how I respond to the future. QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU RISE What part of your story can you re-engage with your spouse in order to work toward greater healing? Hint: think about what triggers you. What part of your spouse's story can you re-engage? If 70% of all arguments don't have a "right answer," how can you adjust how you've been approaching a conflict area with your spouse? The change agents Dan lists in his book are humility, honesty, kindness, curiosity, defiance, and an intention to bless. What one is most needed right now in your marriage? How can you "stand on the neck of evil" and push past a particularly difficult part of your marriage? LET'S CONNECT! Did you like this episode? Let us know and leave a review on itunes or share it with a friend. Or message us on Instagram – we'd love to hear from you! Get the Daily Dozen Checklist -12 habits that will immediately make you happier and healthier

Valentine's Day is often wrapped in commercialized romance, but what if love is more than sentimentality? In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen explore an aspect of love that we all need—kindness. But not the shallow, conflict-avoidant “niceness” we often mistake for kindness. Instead, they dive into the disruptive, provocative nature of true kindness—kindness that challenges, disrupts old patterns, and calls us into deeper growth. Kindness asks us to receive care and, sometimes, even risk disconnection for the sake of deeper intimacy. Together, Dan and Rachael unpack how true kindness is an act of restoration. They discuss the surprising, ennobling nature of kindness and how it reflects the heart of God—a love that offers goodness even when we least deserve it. So, as we navigate a day often filled with roses and greeting cards, let's consider the kind of love that truly transforms—the kind that sees, knows, and calls us toward who we long to become.  

Today, on Karl and Crew, we went straight to the root of our weekly theme of marriage, with a discussion about looking beyond the surface when addressing issues within your marriage. Do you and your spouse ever have explosive arguments over little things? Those little things may be rooted in a deeper issue that hasn’t been openly addressed or resolved. God wants us to go to the root of the problem and create a new foundation with Him so that healing can begin. Dr. Dan Allender joined the conversation as he provided insight into how those small arguments stem from deeper and bigger issues. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist who focuses on marriage, trauma and sexual abuse. Dr. Allender also is the co-founder of The Allender Center and an author. He has authored several books including, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we went straight to the root of our weekly theme of marriage, with a discussion about looking beyond the surface when addressing issues within your marriage. Do you and your spouse ever have explosive arguments over little things? Those little things may be rooted in a deeper issue that hasn’t been openly addressed or resolved. God wants us to go to the root of the problem and create a new foundation with Him so that healing can begin. Dr. Dan Allender joined the conversation as he provided insight into how those small arguments stem from deeper and bigger issues. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist who focuses on marriage, trauma and sexual abuse. Dr. Allender also is the co-founder of The Allender Center and an author. He has authored several books including, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we went straight to the root of our weekly theme of marriage, with a discussion about looking beyond the surface when addressing issues within your marriage. Do you and your spouse ever have explosive arguments over little things? Those little things may be rooted in a deeper issue that hasn’t been openly addressed or resolved. God wants us to go to the root of the problem and create a new foundation with Him so that healing can begin. Dr. Dan Allender joined the conversation as he provided insight into how those small arguments stem from deeper and bigger issues. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist who focuses on marriage, trauma and sexual abuse. Dr. Allender also is the co-founder of The Allender Center and an author. He has authored several books including, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender, renowned author and counselor, to discuss the themes of his latest book: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Dan shares the inspiration behind writing it and offers powerful insights into strengthening marriages. We explore key questions such as: What does it mean to truly honor your spouse? How can couples resolve conflicts without one partner feeling submissive? What role do past wounds play in shaping our present relationships? Dan also discusses how shame, judgment, and resentment hinder intimacy, and how Christians can use therapeutic skills to foster connection. Join us for an enlightening conversation on love, vulnerability, and healing.Resources:The Allender CenterThe Deep Rooted Marriage GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. Dr. Dan Allender shares from his book, "The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight." Faith Radio podcasts are made possible by your support. Give now: Click here  

In this powerful re-release of one of our most impactful episodes, Steve and Wyatt sit down with Dr. Dan Allender, renowned psychologist and author, to unpack the complex role of shame in marriage and deep relationships. Dr. Allender brings his expertise to the table, shedding light on how shame silently shapes the dynamics of intimate partnerships, often leading to disconnection, resentment, and emotional isolation. Through this conversation, we explore how shame takes root, how it impacts communication and trust, and most importantly, how couples can navigate its grip to heal and grow together. Whether you're in a committed relationship or working through personal struggles with shame, Dr. Allender's insights offer a roadmap to understanding and transforming the ways shame shows up in our deepest connections. Join us for a rich discussion on healing, vulnerability, and the journey toward more authentic and resilient relationships. Read his books!The Intimate MysteryThe Cry of the SoulLearn more about Dr. Dan Allender here: https://theallendercenter.org/about/team/dan-allender/Native Exiles, a podcast from Alderwood Community Church, where we talk about following Jesus in the tension of being in the world but not of it. We want to help you think through how to walk with Jesus in a world that is seemingly walking the opposite direction. We want to equip you to engage the world without disengaging from Jesus. For more questions and inquiries, reach us at reachus@amcc.org or visit us on our website at nativeexiles.com.

Have you ever wondered what we mean when we say “your story” and why it matters? In this special episode, Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan Allender sit down together to unpack the basics. Whether you're new to this conversation or you've been on the journey for a while, this is a perfect place to start—or to revisit the foundation of story work. We're thrilled to co-release this episode with The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast. Grab a cup of coffee, find a cozy spot, and join us as we explore the transformative power of engaging your story. If this conversation resonates with you, we'd love for you to join us in person (or online!) at the StoryWork Conference in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday, February 22, 2025. Spend a day diving deeper into your story with Dan, Cathy, and Adam. Therapists, CEUs are available! Ready to take the next step? Find all the details at: adamyoungcounseling.com/storywork-conference-2025/  

Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. What is creating friction, exacerbating our pain, and standing in the way of intimacy? With more than seventy years of therapeutic experience combined, Dan Allender will demonstrate how God is inviting you and your spouse to a wild faith journey with the hope of transformation. Marriage is not about merely getting along or resolving conflict through compromise. It reveals who you are and invites you to who you can become. Marriage offers a space for you to experience what you are made for--honor and delight. And it is the ground from which redemption is meant to grow, where, together, you can reflect God's image more and experience a taste of heaven. Become a Parshall Partner: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/inthemarket/partnersSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you a young married couple struggling to learn the essential ingredients for a thriving marriage? As a therapist, I know that we all have great intentions when we get married but may not know exactly how to make our marriage work. In this episode of the Always Hope Podcast, I had the incredible opportunity to chat with Dr. Steve Call, a renowned marriage therapist and author. We have a wonderful conversation about his book, A Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Call detailed what it means to have a marriage with deep roots and emphasized the importance of intentionality in nurturing a healthy and flourishing relationship. He often drew parallels to gardening and beautifully illustrated how tending to the soil of our marriages can lead to a thriving relationship. As someone who's killed a cactus before, gardening imagery only goes so far. Dr. Call shared many fascinating insights from his book, including the significance of continuous growth, the courage it takes to be vulnerable in a relationship, the need for play in marriage, and seeing conflict as a means for connection. (Not what you usually think). Overall, this episode was a treasure trove of insights and encouragement for anyone looking to cultivate a deep-rooted marriage. I hope you find it as enriching and inspiring as I did! Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:05 Where'd the Supersonics Go? 00:10:58 What is a Deep Rooted-Marriage? 00:20:02 Cultivating Curiosity in Marriage 00:25:54 Healing Your Nervous System Through Marriage 00:46:45 Ritual and Play in Marriage 00:59:10 What Gives You Hope?    Dr Steve Call's Website: https://www.thereconnectinstitute.com Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Rooted-Marriage-Cultivating-Intimacy-Healing/dp/1400344468   Not sure how to start a conversation with a someone you find attractive? Download my free Dating Toolkit at www.drmariosacasa.com/dating-toolkit   See the links below to offer financial assistance: Diocese of Charlotte Catholic Charities Hurricane Helen Donations Page: https://giving.classy.org/campaign/624511/donate Diocese of St. Petersburg Hurricane Relief Fund: https://www.givecentral.org/appeals-form-registration/acp5f44220f014e0/user/guest   To catch up on previous audio-only episodes click on the links below: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/always-hope/id1437447070 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1EfQGHAQLHkQcmHeWjlCJF?si=6e6199090a0b4f0c   Follow me on the socials: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/drmariosacasa Facebook: www.facebook.com/drmariosacasa   Full Courses: Dating Well: www.drmariosacasa/datingwell Overcoming Stress and Anxiety: www.goodcatholic.com/product/overcoming-stress-and-anxiety/   The content of Always Hope is for purely educational reasons and is not meant as a substitute for proper diagnosis and/or professional counseling. If you need psychological or counseling services, please contact a trusted therapist for assistance.

If you're feeling the weight of past trauma and struggling to heal, then you are not alone! The journey to healing from abuse and trauma is often filled with challenges, and finding the right tools to navigate this journey can be overwhelming. But what if there was a resource that could guide you through this process and help you cultivate well-being? In this episode, you will be able to: Explore the transformative power of therapy in healing from abuse and trauma and reclaiming your well-being. Uncover the impact of narcissism in church leadership and gain insights into navigating the complexities of this issue. Discover the invaluable benefits of professional mental health support and how it can positively impact your healing journey. Understand the profound connection between attachment issues and trauma recovery and how it influences your healing process. Embrace the role of self-regulation in effective leadership and learn how it can enhance your personal and professional growth. My special guest is Dr. Chuck DeGroat Dr. Chuck DeGroat, a professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan, brings a wealth of experience and expertise to the podcast. With a background in therapy, spiritual direction, and as a licensed therapist, Chuck specializes in navigating issues of abuse, trauma, pastoral and leadership health, and doubt. His profound insights and compassionate approach make him a thought leader in the space of healing from workplace abuse and trauma. Chuck's dedication to helping individuals understand and heal from the impact of abuse and trauma, combined with his extensive experience in training clergy and consulting with churches, makes him an invaluable resource for anyone seeking insight and guidance in their healing journey. The key moments in this episode are: 00:00:02 - Introduction to the Podcast 00:01:40 - Chuck DeGroat's Background 00:03:22 - Evolution of Chuck DeGroat's Approach 00:11:03 - Faux Vulnerability in Church Leadership 00:13:09 - Misuse of Self-Work for Immunity 00:13:40 - Dysfunctional Dynamics in Churches 00:14:58 - Toxic Leadership and Manipulation 00:19:06 - Nervous System Dysregulation 00:22:10 - Healing Attachment Wounds 00:25:52 - Transformation and Non-Anxious Presence 00:26:17 - Recognizing Patterns of Toxic Behavior 00:27:24 - Accountability and Systemic Change 00:29:15 - Rebuilding for the Future 00:30:49 - Understanding Shame Dynamics 00:35:15 - Rediscovering the Goodness of the Heart 00:39:20 - Men Doing Deeper Work 00:40:02 - Bullying and Women 00:41:15 - Complimenting Each Other's Work 00:41:39 - Encouraging Curiosity and Healing 00:42:42 - Embracing Curiosity and Healing 00:53:11 - Finding Healing and Freedom 00:53:32 - Hope in "Healing What's Within" Trauma is not what happens to us, but what happens within. - Chuck DeGroat Order Healing What's Within by Dr. Chuck DeGroot on his website chuckdegroat.net or through major book retailers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Book Depository. Join the Patreon community at www.patreon.com/aworldofdifference to access exclusive content, one you don't want to miss an exclusive with Dr. Chuck DeGroat. Listen to our first episode with Dr. Chuck DeGroat about his book When Narcissism Comes to Church Explore additional resources recommended by Dr. Chuck DeGroot at the end of each chapter, such as Dan Allender's To Be Told: Know Your Story, Shape Your Life and Frederick Buechner's Telling Secrets. Engage in introspective and mindful practices to support your healing journey, such as deep breathing, visualization, EMDR and brainspotting. Gift Healing What's Within to friends or loved ones who could benefit from the valuable tools and insights shared in the book. Connect with us: https://www.aworldofdifferencepodcast.com Linkedin YouTube FaceBook Instagram Threads Patreon Bluesky TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To celebrate the forthcoming release of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored by Dan Allender and Steve Call, Dan and Becky Allender reflect on their own marriage story — its unique dynamics, the challenges they've faced, and the redemptive journey they've walked together.  They open up about how their family-of-origin stories shaped their relationship in ways they didn't initially realize and the intentional work it took to build new, healthier ways of connecting, particularly over the past decade. Whether you're married, dating, or reflecting on other relationships in your life, we think Dan and Becky's vulnerability and hard-earned insights will resonate with anyone who has felt stuck in a pattern or wondered how to move forward toward healing. Their story is a powerful reminder that meaningful growth takes time, courage, kindness, and the willingness to engage your stories — together. Be sure to get your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, available here on Amazon or at your favorite bookseller on January 21, 2025.

In this insightful episode, we sit down with renowned psychologist and author Dr. Dan Allender to explore the complexities of anxiety—its roots, its impact, and the path to healing. Drawing on his vast experience and wisdom, Dr. Allender shares transformative insights on understanding anxiety, confronting its emotional and spiritual dimensions, and discovering ways to break free from its grip. Whether you're struggling with anxiety or simply seeking a deeper understanding, this conversation offers valuable tools for navigating life's challenges with courage and hope. Dr. Dan Allender is a renowned author, speaker, and therapist known for his work in the field of trauma, emotional healing, and Christian counseling. As a pioneering figure in the integration of psychology and theology, Dr. Allender has focused much of his research and writing on how individuals can heal from deep emotional wounds and trauma through understanding their story and the redemptive power of God.Dr. Allender founded The Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, where he trains professionals and offers workshops aimed at helping people understand the impact of their past experiences on their present lives. His work emphasizes the importance of telling one's story, recognizing the ways in which shame, brokenness, and sin affect mental health, and finding freedom and healing through Christ. For more questions and inquiries, reach us at reachus@amcc.org or visit us on our website at nativeexiles.com.

Becky Allender sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen for a one-on-one conversation. Becky reflects on how she and Dan have experienced profound transformation in their marriage, particularly since the Allender Center was founded in 2011. It was during this time that they began practicing the fundamentals of story engagement within their own relationship—a journey that not only changed their lives but also inspired the Marriage offerings at the Allender Center.  No matter what season you're in—whether your relationship is new or you've been married for decades like Dan and Becky—there's always something new to learn. Every step offers a chance to meet one another with greater kindness, compassion, and understanding. Next week, Dan will rejoin the podcast conversation, but today, we hope you enjoy this episode with Becky and Rachael as they share their wisdom and reflections on marriage and connection. Listener Resources: Check out Hidden in Plain Sight by Becky Allender. Read some of Becky Allender's blog posts. Pre-order your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dan Allender and Steve Call.  

I don't re-listen to my own podcast episodes often, but I'll be replaying this one many times over. My guest Dr. Dan Allender is a trauma therapist. And if you just assumed this episode has nothing for you, consider Dr. Allender's words: “All life east of Eden is a form of trauma.” Whew.  So, yeah, you need to hear this. Dr. Allender's work has been a gamechanger in my life and I insist that you have access to his wisdom, too! He has given me a framework for understanding, grieving, and telling my story, and I cannot think of a more trustworthy voice to speak into our conversation on identity formation.  On this episode, the kind and brilliant Dr. Allender shares… The one thing you can do to take a step toward health Why wrestling with God can be a form of worship How to create the community you long to be a part of If you want support in becoming who you're meant to be, this episode is for you. Show Notes: The Allender Center - https://theallendercenter.org/ The Allender Center Podcast - https://theallendercenter.org/category/podcast/ Curt Thompson Confessional Community - https://curtthompsonmd.com/the-way-of-the-confessional-community/ Adam Young on The GoodHard Story Podcast Episode 71 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-71-what-your-feelings-are-asking-of-you-with/id1496882479?i=1000671653634 Scriptures referenced in this episode: 2 Corinthians 4:10 Romans 12:15 Psalm 22:1 *** There's so much more to the story. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet's most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on the experiences in your growing up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join Dan, Cathy, and myself in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday February 22, 2025, for the StoryWork Conference. The conference will be live streamed if you can't make it to Atlanta. You can register by going to adamyoungcounseling.com. CEU's are available for therapists.

As we think about the upcoming year, we know that hope can feel elusive. Weighed down by uncertainty, exhaustion, and a world filled with division and stress, it's easy to wonder if hope is even worth holding onto. Hope carries heartache. Longing for something better can feel vulnerable, especially when past disappointments and cynicism weigh heavy on our hearts. It can feel safer to let go of hope than to risk the ache of unfulfilled desire. But as Dan Allender shares, hope isn't passive or naïve. It's “a kind of patience that does not erase desire, but has a resilience to remain in the movement toward the dream that hope holds, with a kind of defiance—a willingness to say, I don't just wait passively, I wait in a way in which I'm willing to risk on the anticipation of the arrival of what my heart most deeply desires.” Hope doesn't deny the pain of the past or present; it's a courageous choice to believe in the future possibility of good. And it often begins small—a moment of gratitude, a glimpse of beauty, or the connection we find with others. This year, we can choose hope—not because it's easy, but because it opens us up to something deeper, truer, and worth desiring.  

I am joined today by Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call to talk about the complexities of marriage relationships. Dan and Steve recently co-authored a book titled, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.” If you are committed to the growth of yourself and your spouse, marriage will be hard. Today, Dan and Steve talk about how the look and feel of our present marriages are tied to each partner's past story. We also discuss stuckness, shame, neurons, and blessing/cursing.

You can find freedom and healing from painful memories and relational struggles and learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy. Dr. Dan Allender shares from his book, "Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling." Faith Radio podcasts are made possible by your support. Give now: click here