Podcast appearances and mentions of Dan Allender

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Dan Allender

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Best podcasts about Dan Allender

Latest podcast episodes about Dan Allender

No More Perfect Podcast with Jill Savage
The Deep-Rooted Marriage with Dan Allender | Episode 248

No More Perfect Podcast with Jill Savage

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2025 52:11


Every marriage is an ongoing story with its own highs and lows, joys and difficulties. Depending on which season we are in, we may start to see marriage as the best thing that has ever happened to us or the source of our angst. If you've been following our journey for a while, you know that my husband Mark and I share openly about the struggles as well as the victories in our marriage. God has used every obstacle we've encountered to grow us in so many ways.The truth we hope you walk away with today is that marriage is actually our ultimate invitation to grow.  If we allow it, God will use our marriage to shape us into someone who is deeper, healthier, and more rooted in Christ. Our guest believes wholeheartedly that if we are willing to examine the stories of our past that are influencing the present, we can write a new story for the future.Dr. Dan Allender has a long history in the therapy world. As the author of over two dozen books and the founder of The Allender Center, he believes that true healing and restoration occur when we courageously step into our stories of pain.In this episode, you'll hear:The value of vulnerably stepping into each other's pastsWhy it's important to disrupt destructive patternsOne of the key factors to resolve any conflictAnd more!These principles have proven so beneficial in our marriage. We hope this conversation helps you write a new story for your own relationships.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/dan-allender-248You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill's Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You're the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

John Eldredge and Ransomed Heart (Audio)
E824 | The Deep-Rooted Marriage - Part 1

John Eldredge and Ransomed Heart (Audio)

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2025 59:51


Dan and Becky Allender join John and Stasi Eldredge for a two-part conversation about the highs and lows of married life. Drawing from Dan's new book—The Deep-Rooted Marriage—they talk about why spouses often feel unseen, unheard, or neglected, the greatest agent of harm in a marriage, and how to overcome it by cultivating intimacy, healing, honor, and delight.Show Note: The Deep-Rooted Marriage, by Dan Allender and Steve Call, is available wherever you buy books._______________________________________________There is more.Got a question you want answered on the podcast? Ask us at Questions@WildatHeart.orgSupport the mission or find more on our website: WildAtHeart.org  or on our app.Apple: Wild At Heart AppAndroid: Wild At Heart AppWatch on YouTubeThe stock music used in the Wild at Heart podcast is titled “When Laid to Rest” by Patrick Rundblad and available here.More pauses available in the One Minute Pause app for Apple iOS and Android.Apple: One Minute Pause AppAndroid: One Minute Pause App

Restoring the Soul with Michael John Cusick
Episode 349 - Dr. Dan Allender, "The Deep-Rooted Marriage"

Restoring the Soul with Michael John Cusick

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2025 59:00 Transcription Available


Welcome to another episode of Restoring the Soul with Michael John Cusick. In today's honest and insightful conversation, Michael sits down with Dr. Dan Allender—a renowned therapist, author, and longtime mentor—to discuss Dan's latest book, The Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored with Dr. Steve Call and enriched by the wisdom and vulnerability of their wives, Becky Allender and Lisa Call.This episode isn't just a discussion about techniques for a better marriage—it's a candid exploration of the real, raw journey through conflict, trauma, shame, and, ultimately, transformation inside marriage. Dan and Michael reflect on how our histories, wounds, and unmet needs shape our relationships; why true change can't happen without naming the truth; and how attunement, humility, and honest confession become the very soil in which a marriage can deeply root and flourish.You'll hear moving stories from Dan's own marriage, laughter about old cars and TV shows, and wisdom about the tension between safety and danger in vulnerability. It's a heartfelt look at how marriages are shaped not only by their joys but also by their hardest moments—and why learning to bless, be curious, and face the deep roots beneath our conflicts is the path to lasting intimacy and hope.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

The Allender Center Podcast
“How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities” with Dr. Andrew J. Bauman

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2025 48:10


What happens when a woman names harm in her church community—and instead of support, she's met with silence, suspicion, or even exile?  Too often, the church's response to abuse and inequity reveals a painful truth: that protecting systems has taken precedence over protecting people. In this powerful and layered conversation, Dr. Andrew J. Bauman joins Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to confront the realities explored in Andrew's new book Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities.  Together, they discuss: The cost many women pay for speaking up: isolation, lost community, and spiritual disillusionment How even “progressive” churches can harbor subtle patterns of power and control The stark data that exposes ongoing gender inequity in ministry The personal stories that bring this reality to life—and why representation matters What a truly safe and equitable church could look like This is not just a conversation about what's broken—it's a call to build something better. A church where truth is welcomed, not silenced. Where policies protect the vulnerable. Where power is shared, not hoarded. And where the sacred image of God in women is honored, nurtured, and empowered. Whether you're a survivor, a leader, or someone wrestling with disillusionment, this episode offers a brave and hopeful vision of what the church can become—if we have the courage to tell the truth and move toward change. Related Resources: Order your copy of Dr. Andrew J. Bauman's SAFE CHURCH: How to Guard Against Sexism & Abuse in Christian Communities. Listen to the Allender Center Podcast episode: “Connections Between Spiritual and Sexual Abuse” Continue to learn with these self-paced online courses from the Allender Center: Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course and the Healing the Wounded Heart Online Course

Good Faith
Dan Allender: Trauma, Trust, and the Truth About Marriage

Good Faith

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2025 47:12


How Do We Overcome the Hidden Forces Behind Marital Challenges?   How does your relationships—or even your parents' marriage—shape the way you see beauty, brokenness, and the world itself? Therapist Dan Allender joins host Curtis Chang for a raw, insightful conversation on how relationships form the backbone of our worldview, especially in times of stress and trauma. They unpack hidden triggers behind marital conflict, the power of empathy over contempt, and why kindness and repentance are key to lasting connection. Whether you're navigating conflict or craving deeper intimacy, this episode delivers transformative wisdom for healthier, faith-rooted relationships.   Resources mentioned in this episode: Read Becky Allender's written pieces for The Allender Center Learn more about Steve Call's The Reconnect Institute Learn more about the work of Drs. John & Julie Gottman at The Gottman Institute   More From Dan Allender: Dan Allender & Steve Call's The Deep-Rooted Marriage Learn more about Dan's work at The Allender Center Check out Dan Allender's other books   Follow Us: Good Faith on Instagram Good Faith on X (formerly Twitter) Good Faith on Facebook   Sign up: Redeeming Babel Newsletter

The Allender Center Podcast
The Research Behind Narrative Focused Trauma Care®

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2025 47:27


If you've experienced the healing power of engaging your story—through a Story Workshop, Recovery Week, Narrative Focused Trauma Care® (NFTC) training, or a Story Group in your own context—you may have found yourself wondering: Why does this work feel so deeply transformative? What's actually happening here? In this special episode, we're pulling back the curtain on a groundbreaking, multi-year research project that's beginning to explore those very questions. Dr. Danielle Zurinsky of the Allender Center and Dr. David C. Wang of Fuller Theological Seminary join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to share what they're discovering so far—and why this moment matters. This work is part of a broader initiative we're calling the NFTC Model Research & Publication Project. It's an ambitious, long-term effort to clarify, codify, and formally articulate the core framework of Narrative Focused Trauma Care. Grounded in the decades-long work of Dr. Dan Allender, this project is about more than research—it's about building a foundation that allows this healing model to be recognized, trusted, and shared more widely. In today's conversation, we're letting you in early—before the publications—because we want this process to be rooted in relationship, transparency, and shared vision. Whether you're a practitioner, a past participant, or someone simply curious about the impact of story, you're part of this unfolding journey, too! And if your own healing has been shaped by story engagement with NFTC, this is a chance to be part of something bigger. You can support the continuation of this growing body of research—fueling everything from the team of scholars and writers to expanded training opportunities and broader recognition in therapeutic, academic, and spiritual spaces. You can visit theallendercenter.org/give to contribute at any financial level. We are currently fundraising to support the next phase of this project's continuation. Your contribution will help ensure this work continues—so more people, families, and communities can experience the deep transformation that comes through engaging their stories with courage and care. To learn more about NFTC, visit theallendercenter.org/nftc

I CHOOSE MY BEST LIFE
305 Cultivating Intimacy in Marriage

I CHOOSE MY BEST LIFE

Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2025 29:33


Dr. Dan Allender joins Dr. Saundra to share how couples can grow deep-rooted intimacy by tending to pain, embracing conflict, and seeing marriage as a sacred journey of becoming one. Connect with Dr. Allender on Instagram. Get your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. I Choose My Best Life Podcast is one of the  Top 20 Christian Women Podcasts I Choose My Best Life Books: Being Fully Known, Colorful Connections, Sacred Rest, Come Empty, Set Free to Live Free Connect with Saundra: Twitter: @DrDaltonSmith Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drdaltonsmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrSaundraDaltonSmith

Equipped with Chris Brooks
Redeeming Heartache

Equipped with Chris Brooks

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2025


How do we handle pain, grief, tragedy, and disappointment? Coming up on Equipped, Susie Larson and author Dan Allender explain how we can trust God through deep valleys to find purpose, hope, and healing. Can suffering point us to our calling? Is joy possible? Call in with your questions and comments about redeeming heartache. Today's Resource: Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling   Equipped with Chris Brooks is made possible through your support.  To donate now, click here. This month's featured resource: Apologetics for an Ever-Changing Culture

Encouragement for You
Overcoming the Trauma of Sexual Abuse

Encouragement for You

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2025 23:43


The statistics on both men and women who have had to deal with the trauma of childhood sexual abuse are alarming and the results are often emotionally devastating. Dr. Dan Allender addresses the issue in his book The Wounded Heart and he joins host Don Hawkins to talk about overcoming the effects of sexual abuse. On our next segment, former Chick-fil-a CEO Dan Cathy and special guest discuss a topic that many men don’t want to talk about; their emotions. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Allender Center Podcast
The Narrative of Good Friday

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2025 43:27


Good Friday is often described as paradoxical—a day of deep sorrow somehow called “good.” In this moving episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite us into that paradox, not just as observers of the crucifixion story, but as participants—people whose own stories of betrayal, abandonment, and suffering echo the narrative of Jesus' final hours. Together, they explore what it means to enter into Good Friday by entering into our own “Fridays”—those dark and disorienting moments of our lives when we've not only been betrayed, but also betrayed others. The conversation invites us to reflect on the intersection between personal pain and collective suffering, and to consider how our experiences of humiliation, violence, and even despair connect us to the story of the cross. But this episode is not one of despair alone. It's an invitation to sit honestly in the tension of a day when evil seems to win, and yet—somehow—we dare to believe redemption is being forged in the depths of that agony. As Rachael says, it's a time when we're forced to confront the death of a dream, the silence between what is and what is promised. And yet, even in the sorrow, there is a movement toward hope. This topic is not easy—but it is so important to engage. We hope today's conversation offers space to weep, to name, and to consider how our own stories might be met and transformed by the suffering and love of Christ.  

Pure Sex Radio
The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight

Pure Sex Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2025 33:50


In this episode, I am thrilled to welcome Dr. Steve Call, a clinical psychologist and co-author with Dr. Dan Allender of The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight*. We dive into the book's themes, focusing on how past traumas influence present marital conflicts and how to grow in emotional understanding and intimacy. Dr. Call shares his personal marriage journey, emphasizing the importance of awareness and curiosity in relationships. We discuss practical steps for couples to cultivate awareness, the role of play in healing, and strategies for managing triggers. Dr. Call offers hope and resources for couples to nourish their relationships.To learn more about Dr. Call's resources and to get the book, visit TheReconnectInstitute.com. Topics Covered in this Episode: Discussion of the book "The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.*"Exploration of how past experiences and traumas influence current marital conflicts.Importance of cultivating awareness and curiosity in relationships.The role of intensive counseling formats in addressing deep-rooted issues.Strategies for couples to develop awareness during conflicts.The significance of play in fostering connection and healing in marriage.Addressing triggers and shame in relationships, particularly during recovery.Practical strategies for emotional regulation and self-care during challenging moments.The metaphor of soil amendments to illustrate the need for nurturing relationships.Resources and support for couples seeking to deepen their connection and navigate challenges.More Resources:The Deep-Rooted Marriage* by Allender and CallMarriage Story IntensiveReconnect* by Dr. Steve CallRelated Podcasts:6 Hours that will Transform Your MarriageWorking Through Emotional Disconnection in MarriageGrowing a Stronger Marriage Even When it's Difficult*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

minimalist moms podcast
Deepening Your Marriage | Dan Allender (EP22)

minimalist moms podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2025 33:20


Take a brief survey for the show to influence future episodes.Note: I have listeners of all faith backgrounds that listen to the podcast. This episode is coming from a christian perspective so if that's something that doesn't fit what you're looking for, check out the other episode that dropped this week or join me back here next Tuesday for a conversation that you don't want to miss!Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. In today's conversation, I sit down with therapist and author Dan Allender to discuss his new book, Deep-Rooted Marriage. He shares how deeper intimacy can be a source of healing and joy. More often than not, the hidden forces fueling conflict and disconnection stem from the unresolved stories of our past. But if we're willing to examine them with honesty and courage, we can begin to rewrite a new, more hopeful story for the future.Links Discussed in This Episode |Podcast Episode: Diary of a CEO with Paul BrunsonConnect with Dan:InstagramWebsiteBook: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight About Dan|Dr. Dan Allender is a pioneer of a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy. He earned a master of divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary, followed by a Ph.D. in counseling psychology from Michigan State University. Dan served on the faculty of the Biblical Counseling Department at Grace Theological Seminary from 1983 to 1989 and at Colorado Christian University from 1989 to 1997. In 1997, Dan and a cadre of others founded the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, where he served as president from 2002 to 2009. In 2011, he established The Allender Center with the mission of fostering healing and equipping leaders and mental health professionals with the courage to confront others' stories of harm. Dan has authored or co-authored over two dozen books and continues to serve as a professor of counseling psychology at the Seattle School.Episode Sponsors |The Minimalist Moms Podcast would not be possible without the support of weekly sponsors. Choosing brands that I believe in is important to me. I only want to recommend brands that I believe may help you in your daily life. As always, never feel pressured into buying anything. Remember: if you don't need it, it's not a good deal!Enjoy the Podcast?Post a review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning into this podcast, then do not hesitate to write a review. You can also share this with your fellow mothers so that they can be inspired to think more and do with less. Order (or review) my book, Minimalist Moms: Living & Parenting With Simplicity.Questions |You can contact me through my website, find me on Instagram, Pinterest or like The Minimalist Moms Page on Facebook.Checkout the Minimalist Moms Podcast storefront for recommendations from Diane.If you've been struggling with motivation to declutter or work through bad habits that keep you stuck, I'd love to help you achieve your goals! We'll work together (locally or virtually) to discover what areas in your life are high priority to get you feeling less overwhelmed right away.  For more info on my processes, fees, and availability please contact!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code MINIMALIST for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/minimalist-moms-podcast2093/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Typology
How to Cultivate a Deep-Rooted Marriage, feat. Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call

Typology

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 46:58


Join us for an enlightening episode of the Typology Podcast as we dive deep into the complexities of marriage through the lens of the Enneagram with our special guests, Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call. In this episode, we explore insights from their book, The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Discover how the Enneagram can provide clarity in relationships, particularly for those navigating the challenges of shame and vulnerability. Dan, an Enneagram 8, and Steve, an Enneagram 3, share their personal experiences and therapeutic wisdom on how to foster deep connection and understanding in marriage. Key topics include: The importance of curiosity in conflict resolution How to cultivate awareness and mitigate shame and contempt The role of delight and awe in nurturing intimacy Practical advice for couples at different stages of marriage Whether you're in a new relationship or have been in a partnership for decades, this conversation offers valuable wisdom for anyone looking to strengthen their relationship. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from two seasoned experts in the field!  

The Best of You
Episode 148: The Truth About Marriage—Dan Allender on Healing, Intimacy & Hard Fights

The Best of You

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2025 53:17


In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage. In this episode, we dive into: * The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary * Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that's actually a good thing * The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage * Why logic doesn't help when we get emotionally hijacked * How to fight well and grow through conflict Check out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan Deal Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their free pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods's Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Place We Find Ourselves
Make Sense of Your Story: Dan Allender Interviews Adam

The Place We Find Ourselves

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2025 46:09


Today's episode is different. Dan Allender takes over the podcast to interview me about my new book titled, Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything. Topics covered include: how to respond when we fail those we love, how the book launch re-enacts core dynamics in my life, how to listen to the story your body is telling you, as well as your sexual story and your collective story.

Compared to Who?
Finding Delight, Honor, and Growth in Marriage Featuring Dr. Dan Allender

Compared to Who?

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2025 27:11


In part 2 of this interview with Dr. Dan Allender, Heather and Dan delve into what it truly means to experience a deeper, more fulfilling marriage. Dr. Allender shared profound insights into how our past plays a crucial role in shaping our present and how this understanding can guide us toward redemption and healing in our relationships. Here are themes for our conversation today: Growth in Marriage: True growth in marriage is not just about comfort and convenience. It involves addressing past traumas and engaging with each other's differences to heal and understand the work of the spirit in our lives. The Role of Desire: Desire in a marriage is never equal, and understanding this difference can lead to greater curiosity and compassion rather than conflict. It's about exploring each other's hearts and seeking out redemption together. The Intersection of Shame and Delight: Our deepest areas of shame are often where we can find the most profound delight, especially in the context of marriage. Dr. Allender emphasized the importance of inviting kindness into our hearts to truly reflect this delight onto our spouses. Stay til the very end when Dr. Allender explains why shame and food are as interconnected as shame and sex! Learn more about Dr. Dan Allender and his new book: Deep-Rooted Marriage. (Amazon affiliate link) Learn more about Compared to Who? or join the next 40-Day Journey to Body Image Freedom here: https://www.improvebodyimage.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

LIFE Today Live on Lightsource.com
Two Become One - Dr. Dan Allender on LIFE Today Live

LIFE Today Live on Lightsource.com

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2025 23:39


Watch Randy Robison from LIFE Today Live To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.lightsource.com/donate/872/29

LIFE Today Live on Lightsource.com
Two Become One - Dr. Dan Allender on LIFE Today Live

LIFE Today Live on Lightsource.com

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2025 23:39


Watch Randy Robison from LIFE Today Live To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.lightsource.com/donate/872/29

Dear Young Married Couple
The SECRET to a Deeply CONNECTED Marriage w/ Dr. Dan Allender

Dear Young Married Couple

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2025 47:30


Are old survival habits silently sabotaging your marriage?

Compared to Who?
What Parts of Your Past Affect Your Marriage? Featuring Dr. Dan Allender

Compared to Who?

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2025 29:38


Today Heather Creekmore interviews an author, therapist, and pioneer in the trauma and abuse world, Dr. Dan Allender. As we wrap up our month-long series on marriage, today Heather and Dr. Allender explore how our past traumas impact our marriage, how our hurts from our family of origin may have actually impacted who we chose to marry, and how we can help our spouses heal and name their own woundings so that together we can have more than just a "good marriage," we instead can grow together as a couple who is able to honor and delight in each other.

The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast
Ep.490: Cultivating A Marriage That Lasts with Dan Allender

The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2025 47:02


"Marriage can be heaven, and marriage can be hell." -Dan Allender Anyone who is married knows that marriage can reach the extremes of human experience, and sometimes even in the same day. It's the lab in which we grow personally, and where we grow together. It's also the place where everything can fall apart. Today Dan Allender of The Allender Center joins us to explore the transformative power of marriage, particularly in midlife. He talks about the deep work of understanding one another's stories, the role of trauma in relationships (even if you feel like you don't have any), and the necessity of dealing with emotional triggers. Dan is both funny and deeply inspiring. He is an expert at the top of his field, and also the first one to reveal and share what he is experiencing in his own imperfect marriage. You will gain insight into the complexities of relationships, the importance of change-agents in marriage, the dynamics of conflict resolution, and come to a fresh understanding of how fighting for marriage is deeply spiritual work. SOME THINGS YOU HEARD ON THE SHOW: The Deeply Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Healing, Intimacy, and Delight by Dan Allender and Steve Call Unwanted by Jay Stringer website-Dan Allender Quotes from the episode: 35% of divorces are "gray divorces," meaning they involve couples 50 years of ago and older. Our brains have the power to change, but only by engagement deeply within what we'll call our right hemisphere, our emotional portions. If there is not a fabric of forgiveness, then we are in deep waters without a paddle. Difference is where almost all conflict begins. 70 % of the conflict in marriage does not have a right answer. You grow in trust by the capacity to deal with conflict, not to resolve, but to a deepened understanding. And to a deepened understanding allows us to allow difference to continue to occur.but without either the fear or the judgment that's often there. I hope the sense of having work to do is kind of like, I get to put my foot on the neck of evil here. Hell no, I do not want something that has lingered in my body and my heart and my mind to continue to shape something of how I respond to the future. QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU RISE What part of your story can you re-engage with your spouse in order to work toward greater healing? Hint: think about what triggers you. What part of your spouse's story can you re-engage? If 70% of all arguments don't have a "right answer," how can you adjust how you've been approaching a conflict area with your spouse? The change agents Dan lists in his book are humility, honesty, kindness, curiosity, defiance, and an intention to bless. What one is most needed right now in your marriage? How can you "stand on the neck of evil" and push past a particularly difficult part of your marriage? LET'S CONNECT! Did you like this episode? Let us know and leave a review on itunes or share it with a friend. Or message us on Instagram – we'd love to hear from you! Get the Daily Dozen Checklist -12 habits that will immediately make you happier and healthier

The Allender Center Podcast
The Disruptive Power of Kindness

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2025 41:52


Valentine's Day is often wrapped in commercialized romance, but what if love is more than sentimentality? In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen explore an aspect of love that we all need—kindness. But not the shallow, conflict-avoidant “niceness” we often mistake for kindness. Instead, they dive into the disruptive, provocative nature of true kindness—kindness that challenges, disrupts old patterns, and calls us into deeper growth. Kindness asks us to receive care and, sometimes, even risk disconnection for the sake of deeper intimacy. Together, Dan and Rachael unpack how true kindness is an act of restoration. They discuss the surprising, ennobling nature of kindness and how it reflects the heart of God—a love that offers goodness even when we least deserve it. So, as we navigate a day often filled with roses and greeting cards, let's consider the kind of love that truly transforms—the kind that sees, knows, and calls us toward who we long to become.  

Karl and Crew Mornings
Let's Get to the Root of the Problem!

Karl and Crew Mornings

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2025 36:05 Transcription Available


Today, on Karl and Crew, we went straight to the root of our weekly theme of marriage, with a discussion about looking beyond the surface when addressing issues within your marriage. Do you and your spouse ever have explosive arguments over little things? Those little things may be rooted in a deeper issue that hasn’t been openly addressed or resolved. God wants us to go to the root of the problem and create a new foundation with Him so that healing can begin. Dr. Dan Allender joined the conversation as he provided insight into how those small arguments stem from deeper and bigger issues. Dr. Allender is a counseling psychologist who focuses on marriage, trauma and sexual abuse. Dr. Allender also is the co-founder of The Allender Center and an author. He has authored several books including, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pure Desire Ministries
397 - The Deep Rooted Marriage w/ Dr. Dan Allender

Pure Desire Ministries

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2025 52:23


In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender, renowned author and counselor, to discuss the themes of his latest book: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Dan shares the inspiration behind writing it and offers powerful insights into strengthening marriages. We explore key questions such as: What does it mean to truly honor your spouse? How can couples resolve conflicts without one partner feeling submissive? What role do past wounds play in shaping our present relationships? Dan also discusses how shame, judgment, and resentment hinder intimacy, and how Christians can use therapeutic skills to foster connection. Join us for an enlightening conversation on love, vulnerability, and healing.Resources:The Allender CenterThe Deep Rooted Marriage GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Middays with Susie Larson
Healing our trauma so we can thrive in relationships with Dr. Dan Allender

Middays with Susie Larson

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2025 50:16


Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. Dr. Dan Allender shares from his book, "The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight." Faith Radio podcasts are made possible by your support. Give now: Click here  

First Look
Shame, Marriage, and Deep Relationships: A Timeless Conversation with Dr. Dan Allender (Revisited)

First Look

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2025 56:49


In this powerful re-release of one of our most impactful episodes, Steve and Wyatt sit down with Dr. Dan Allender, renowned psychologist and author, to unpack the complex role of shame in marriage and deep relationships. Dr. Allender brings his expertise to the table, shedding light on how shame silently shapes the dynamics of intimate partnerships, often leading to disconnection, resentment, and emotional isolation. Through this conversation, we explore how shame takes root, how it impacts communication and trust, and most importantly, how couples can navigate its grip to heal and grow together. Whether you're in a committed relationship or working through personal struggles with shame, Dr. Allender's insights offer a roadmap to understanding and transforming the ways shame shows up in our deepest connections. Join us for a rich discussion on healing, vulnerability, and the journey toward more authentic and resilient relationships. Read his books!The Intimate MysteryThe Cry of the SoulLearn more about Dr. Dan Allender here: https://theallendercenter.org/about/team/dan-allender/Native Exiles, a podcast from Alderwood Community Church, where we talk about following Jesus in the tension of being in the world but not of it. We want to help you think through how to walk with Jesus in a world that is seemingly walking the opposite direction. We want to equip you to engage the world without disengaging from Jesus. For more questions and inquiries, reach us at reachus@amcc.org or visit us on our website at nativeexiles.com.

The Allender Center Podcast
Story Work: What It Is and Why It Matters with Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan Allender

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2025 31:36


Have you ever wondered what we mean when we say “your story” and why it matters? In this special episode, Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan Allender sit down together to unpack the basics. Whether you're new to this conversation or you've been on the journey for a while, this is a perfect place to start—or to revisit the foundation of story work. We're thrilled to co-release this episode with The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast. Grab a cup of coffee, find a cozy spot, and join us as we explore the transformative power of engaging your story. If this conversation resonates with you, we'd love for you to join us in person (or online!) at the StoryWork Conference in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday, February 22, 2025. Spend a day diving deeper into your story with Dan, Cathy, and Adam. Therapists, CEUs are available! Ready to take the next step? Find all the details at: adamyoungcounseling.com/storywork-conference-2025/  

In the Market with Janet Parshall
Hour 2: The Deep-Rooted Marriage

In the Market with Janet Parshall

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2025 44:43 Transcription Available


Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. What is creating friction, exacerbating our pain, and standing in the way of intimacy? With more than seventy years of therapeutic experience combined, Dan Allender will demonstrate how God is inviting you and your spouse to a wild faith journey with the hope of transformation. Marriage is not about merely getting along or resolving conflict through compromise. It reveals who you are and invites you to who you can become. Marriage offers a space for you to experience what you are made for--honor and delight. And it is the ground from which redemption is meant to grow, where, together, you can reflect God's image more and experience a taste of heaven. Become a Parshall Partner: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/inthemarket/partnersSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Always Hope
167. The Importance of Curiosity and Play in Marriage | Dr. Steve Call

Always Hope

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2025 62:18


Are you a young married couple struggling to learn the essential ingredients for a thriving marriage? As a therapist, I know that we all have great intentions when we get married but may not know exactly how to make our marriage work. In this episode of the Always Hope Podcast, I had the incredible opportunity to chat with Dr. Steve Call, a renowned marriage therapist and author. We have a wonderful conversation about his book, A Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr. Call detailed what it means to have a marriage with deep roots and emphasized the importance of intentionality in nurturing a healthy and flourishing relationship. He often drew parallels to gardening and beautifully illustrated how tending to the soil of our marriages can lead to a thriving relationship. As someone who's killed a cactus before, gardening imagery only goes so far. Dr. Call shared many fascinating insights from his book, including the significance of continuous growth, the courage it takes to be vulnerable in a relationship, the need for play in marriage, and seeing conflict as a means for connection. (Not what you usually think). Overall, this episode was a treasure trove of insights and encouragement for anyone looking to cultivate a deep-rooted marriage. I hope you find it as enriching and inspiring as I did! Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:05 Where'd the Supersonics Go? 00:10:58 What is a Deep Rooted-Marriage? 00:20:02 Cultivating Curiosity in Marriage 00:25:54 Healing Your Nervous System Through Marriage 00:46:45 Ritual and Play in Marriage 00:59:10 What Gives You Hope?    Dr Steve Call's Website: https://www.thereconnectinstitute.com Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Rooted-Marriage-Cultivating-Intimacy-Healing/dp/1400344468   Not sure how to start a conversation with a someone you find attractive? Download my free Dating Toolkit at www.drmariosacasa.com/dating-toolkit   See the links below to offer financial assistance: Diocese of Charlotte Catholic Charities Hurricane Helen Donations Page: https://giving.classy.org/campaign/624511/donate Diocese of St. Petersburg Hurricane Relief Fund: https://www.givecentral.org/appeals-form-registration/acp5f44220f014e0/user/guest   To catch up on previous audio-only episodes click on the links below: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/always-hope/id1437447070 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1EfQGHAQLHkQcmHeWjlCJF?si=6e6199090a0b4f0c   Follow me on the socials: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/drmariosacasa Facebook: www.facebook.com/drmariosacasa   Full Courses: Dating Well: www.drmariosacasa/datingwell Overcoming Stress and Anxiety: www.goodcatholic.com/product/overcoming-stress-and-anxiety/   The content of Always Hope is for purely educational reasons and is not meant as a substitute for proper diagnosis and/or professional counseling. If you need psychological or counseling services, please contact a trusted therapist for assistance.

A World of Difference
Dr. Chuck DeGroat on Healing the Inner Wounds: Finding Wholeness After Abuse (Best of 2024)

A World of Difference

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2025 45:12


If you're feeling the weight of past trauma and struggling to heal, then you are not alone! The journey to healing from abuse and trauma is often filled with challenges, and finding the right tools to navigate this journey can be overwhelming. But what if there was a resource that could guide you through this process and help you cultivate well-being? In this episode, you will be able to: Explore the transformative power of therapy in healing from abuse and trauma and reclaiming your well-being. Uncover the impact of narcissism in church leadership and gain insights into navigating the complexities of this issue. Discover the invaluable benefits of professional mental health support and how it can positively impact your healing journey. Understand the profound connection between attachment issues and trauma recovery and how it influences your healing process. Embrace the role of self-regulation in effective leadership and learn how it can enhance your personal and professional growth. My special guest is Dr. Chuck DeGroat Dr. Chuck DeGroat, a professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan, brings a wealth of experience and expertise to the podcast. With a background in therapy, spiritual direction, and as a licensed therapist, Chuck specializes in navigating issues of abuse, trauma, pastoral and leadership health, and doubt. His profound insights and compassionate approach make him a thought leader in the space of healing from workplace abuse and trauma. Chuck's dedication to helping individuals understand and heal from the impact of abuse and trauma, combined with his extensive experience in training clergy and consulting with churches, makes him an invaluable resource for anyone seeking insight and guidance in their healing journey. The key moments in this episode are: 00:00:02 - Introduction to the Podcast 00:01:40 - Chuck DeGroat's Background 00:03:22 - Evolution of Chuck DeGroat's Approach 00:11:03 - Faux Vulnerability in Church Leadership 00:13:09 - Misuse of Self-Work for Immunity 00:13:40 - Dysfunctional Dynamics in Churches 00:14:58 - Toxic Leadership and Manipulation 00:19:06 - Nervous System Dysregulation 00:22:10 - Healing Attachment Wounds 00:25:52 - Transformation and Non-Anxious Presence 00:26:17 - Recognizing Patterns of Toxic Behavior 00:27:24 - Accountability and Systemic Change 00:29:15 - Rebuilding for the Future 00:30:49 - Understanding Shame Dynamics 00:35:15 - Rediscovering the Goodness of the Heart 00:39:20 - Men Doing Deeper Work 00:40:02 - Bullying and Women 00:41:15 - Complimenting Each Other's Work 00:41:39 - Encouraging Curiosity and Healing 00:42:42 - Embracing Curiosity and Healing 00:53:11 - Finding Healing and Freedom 00:53:32 - Hope in "Healing What's Within" Trauma is not what happens to us, but what happens within. - Chuck DeGroat Order Healing What's Within by Dr. Chuck DeGroot on his website chuckdegroat.net or through major book retailers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Book Depository. Join the Patreon community at www.patreon.com/aworldofdifference to access exclusive content, one you don't want to miss an exclusive with Dr. Chuck DeGroat. Listen to our first episode with Dr. Chuck DeGroat about his book When Narcissism Comes to Church Explore additional resources recommended by Dr. Chuck DeGroot at the end of each chapter, such as Dan Allender's To Be Told: Know Your Story, Shape Your Life and Frederick Buechner's Telling Secrets. Engage in introspective and mindful practices to support your healing journey, such as deep breathing, visualization, EMDR and brainspotting. Gift Healing What's Within to friends or loved ones who could benefit from the valuable tools and insights shared in the book. Connect with us: https://www.aworldofdifferencepodcast.com Linkedin YouTube FaceBook Instagram Threads Patreon Bluesky TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Allender Center Podcast
Tending to One Another's Stories in Marriage with Dan & Becky Allender

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2025 46:09


To celebrate the forthcoming release of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored by Dan Allender and Steve Call, Dan and Becky Allender reflect on their own marriage story — its unique dynamics, the challenges they've faced, and the redemptive journey they've walked together.  They open up about how their family-of-origin stories shaped their relationship in ways they didn't initially realize and the intentional work it took to build new, healthier ways of connecting, particularly over the past decade. Whether you're married, dating, or reflecting on other relationships in your life, we think Dan and Becky's vulnerability and hard-earned insights will resonate with anyone who has felt stuck in a pattern or wondered how to move forward toward healing. Their story is a powerful reminder that meaningful growth takes time, courage, kindness, and the willingness to engage your stories — together. Be sure to get your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, available here on Amazon or at your favorite bookseller on January 21, 2025.

First Look
Unmasking Anxiety: A Deep Dive with Dan Allender

First Look

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2025 42:32


In this insightful episode, we sit down with renowned psychologist and author Dr. Dan Allender to explore the complexities of anxiety—its roots, its impact, and the path to healing. Drawing on his vast experience and wisdom, Dr. Allender shares transformative insights on understanding anxiety, confronting its emotional and spiritual dimensions, and discovering ways to break free from its grip. Whether you're struggling with anxiety or simply seeking a deeper understanding, this conversation offers valuable tools for navigating life's challenges with courage and hope. Dr. Dan Allender is a renowned author, speaker, and therapist known for his work in the field of trauma, emotional healing, and Christian counseling. As a pioneering figure in the integration of psychology and theology, Dr. Allender has focused much of his research and writing on how individuals can heal from deep emotional wounds and trauma through understanding their story and the redemptive power of God.Dr. Allender founded The Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, where he trains professionals and offers workshops aimed at helping people understand the impact of their past experiences on their present lives. His work emphasizes the importance of telling one's story, recognizing the ways in which shame, brokenness, and sin affect mental health, and finding freedom and healing through Christ. For more questions and inquiries, reach us at reachus@amcc.org or visit us on our website at nativeexiles.com.

The Allender Center Podcast
Creating a Better Marriage Through Story with Becky Allender

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2025 7:41


Becky Allender sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen for a one-on-one conversation. Becky reflects on how she and Dan have experienced profound transformation in their marriage, particularly since the Allender Center was founded in 2011. It was during this time that they began practicing the fundamentals of story engagement within their own relationship—a journey that not only changed their lives but also inspired the Marriage offerings at the Allender Center.  No matter what season you're in—whether your relationship is new or you've been married for decades like Dan and Becky—there's always something new to learn. Every step offers a chance to meet one another with greater kindness, compassion, and understanding. Next week, Dan will rejoin the podcast conversation, but today, we hope you enjoy this episode with Becky and Rachael as they share their wisdom and reflections on marriage and connection. Listener Resources: Check out Hidden in Plain Sight by Becky Allender. Read some of Becky Allender's blog posts. Pre-order your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dan Allender and Steve Call.  

Suffer Strong Podcast
Episode 81: Becoming Who We're Meant to Be with Dr. Dan Allender

Suffer Strong Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2025 54:01


I don't re-listen to my own podcast episodes often, but I'll be replaying this one many times over. My guest Dr. Dan Allender is a trauma therapist. And if you just assumed this episode has nothing for you, consider Dr. Allender's words: “All life east of Eden is a form of trauma.” Whew.  So, yeah, you need to hear this. Dr. Allender's work has been a gamechanger in my life and I insist that you have access to his wisdom, too! He has given me a framework for understanding, grieving, and telling my story, and I cannot think of a more trustworthy voice to speak into our conversation on identity formation.  On this episode, the kind and brilliant Dr. Allender shares… The one thing you can do to take a step toward health Why wrestling with God can be a form of worship How to create the community you long to be a part of If you want support in becoming who you're meant to be, this episode is for you. Show Notes: The Allender Center - https://theallendercenter.org/ The Allender Center Podcast - https://theallendercenter.org/category/podcast/ Curt Thompson Confessional Community - https://curtthompsonmd.com/the-way-of-the-confessional-community/ Adam Young on The GoodHard Story Podcast Episode 71 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-71-what-your-feelings-are-asking-of-you-with/id1496882479?i=1000671653634 Scriptures referenced in this episode: 2 Corinthians 4:10 Romans 12:15 Psalm 22:1 *** There's so much more to the story. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet's most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

The Place We Find Ourselves
167 StoryWork: What It Is and Why It Matters with Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel

The Place We Find Ourselves

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2025 31:50


You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on the experiences in your growing up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join Dan, Cathy, and myself in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday February 22, 2025, for the StoryWork Conference. The conference will be live streamed if you can't make it to Atlanta. You can register by going to adamyoungcounseling.com. CEU's are available for therapists.

The Allender Center Podcast
Is Hope Worth the Risk?

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2025 44:09


As we think about the upcoming year, we know that hope can feel elusive. Weighed down by uncertainty, exhaustion, and a world filled with division and stress, it's easy to wonder if hope is even worth holding onto. Hope carries heartache. Longing for something better can feel vulnerable, especially when past disappointments and cynicism weigh heavy on our hearts. It can feel safer to let go of hope than to risk the ache of unfulfilled desire. But as Dan Allender shares, hope isn't passive or naïve. It's “a kind of patience that does not erase desire, but has a resilience to remain in the movement toward the dream that hope holds, with a kind of defiance—a willingness to say, I don't just wait passively, I wait in a way in which I'm willing to risk on the anticipation of the arrival of what my heart most deeply desires.” Hope doesn't deny the pain of the past or present; it's a courageous choice to believe in the future possibility of good. And it often begins small—a moment of gratitude, a glimpse of beauty, or the connection we find with others. This year, we can choose hope—not because it's easy, but because it opens us up to something deeper, truer, and worth desiring.  

The Place We Find Ourselves
166 Why Your Marriage Feels The Way It Does

The Place We Find Ourselves

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2024 42:04


I am joined today by Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call to talk about the complexities of marriage relationships. Dan and Steve recently co-authored a book titled, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.” If you are committed to the growth of yourself and your spouse, marriage will be hard. Today, Dan and Steve talk about how the look and feel of our present marriages are tied to each partner's past story. We also discuss stuckness, shame, neurons, and blessing/cursing.

Middays with Susie Larson
The importance of being honest with your trauma so you can find healing with Dr. Dan Allender

Middays with Susie Larson

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2024 51:37


You can find freedom and healing from painful memories and relational struggles and learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy. Dr. Dan Allender shares from his book, "Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling." Faith Radio podcasts are made possible by your support. Give now: click here

Transforming Engagement, the Podcast
Hope in Advent: A Season of Waiting with Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. J. Derek McNeil

Transforming Engagement, the Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2024 33:24


How do we hold on to hope in a world that feels heavy with pain and disillusionment? Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. J. Derek McNeil invite us into an honest conversation about navigating the tension between hope and despair during the Advent season.  In this episode, Dan and Derek explore the vulnerability of waiting and the struggle between wanting quick fixes and trusting in a bigger story. They talk about how cynicism, disappointment, and past wounds can chip away at our trust in the future—and why we need each other to rekindle hope when it feels out of reach. Advent, they suggest, is a “haunting” season, one that challenges us to sit with the tension of longing and trust. It's a time to nurture patience, imagination, and faith — even when the path forward feels uncertain. Join Dan and Derek on the podcast today as they wrestle with the beauty and complexity of waiting with hope.  

Encouragement for You
Live, Love, Lead

Encouragement for You

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2024 21:19


Former Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy has become a regular on this podcast because of his many years on Life Perspectives radio with Don Hawkins. He and special guest Mike Mills join Don to talk about one of Dan's mottos: live, love, and lead.  Our world today seems to have done everything it can to distort and destroy Biblical sexuality. In this next segment of Encouragement for You, christian therapist and author Dr. Dan Allender joins host Don Hawkins to talk about redeeming sexuality. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Good Faith
The Truth About Our Trauma Can Set Us Free (with Dan Allender)

Good Faith

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2024 54:35


Why is truth-telling so hard to do within the church? Host Curtis Chang and renowned therapist and author Dan Allender explore the complex crossroads of theology and psychology, tracing the evolving, sometimes fraught relationship between the Christian church and therapy. With warmth and candor, Dr. Allender shares both his love for and ambivalence toward psychotherapy, reflecting on how it can challenge our understanding of the role trauma plays in the search for God's truth. Together, they invite listeners to consider how an imaginative rethinking of the "war within you" can open new pathways to authentic worship.   Join the Redeeming Babel Team: Marketing Manager Job Opening   Join us for the following The After Party/Good Faith virtual events: October 28th pre-election podcast recording November 4th all-comers election eve noontime prayer November 6th post-election podcast recording   Listen to Songs For the After Party, get sheet music, lyrics, and prayers for your church. Bring The After Party course to your church or small group!  Enter to win the Good Faith Book Giveaway: The After Party Edition!    Referenced in this Episode Read Calvin's Institutes online Learn more about Christian Smith and Melissa Lundquist Denton's Moralistic Therapeutic Deism Find out about Viktor Frankl's logotherapy Read about Rollo Mae and existential therapy Read C.S. Lewis's "Weight of Glory" sermon online   More From Dan Allender: Learn more about Dan's work at The Allender Center Check out Dan Allender's books  

Karl and Crew Mornings
Lost Disciplines

Karl and Crew Mornings

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2024 45:39 Transcription Available


Today on Karl and Crew, we continued our theme, "Experiencing God," taking some time to talk more about self-examination. We looked at Matthew 26:36-41, Jeremiah 2:13, and Psalm 139:23-24 as we discussed two important disciplines that can help you experience God more readily. Our guest was Dr. Dan Allender, Professor of Counseling Psychology and co-founder of The Allender Center. He speaks extensively on trauma recovery and faith transformation. Check out this powerful interview and all of the highlights of today's show on the Karl and Crew Podcast. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Worship Circle Podcast
Why Your Story Matters (Part 2) // Cathy Loerzel

The Worship Circle Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2024 47:38


In this podcast, we continue our focus on why our story matters. Our guest, Cathy Loerzel, holds an MACP in Psychology from the Seattle School and helped found the Allender Center with Dan Allender in 2010. She is the co-author of the book “Redeeming Heartache” with Dan. She has developed a therapeutic approach called story work which moves people through their past stories of heartache to heal and discover healthier ways of being in the world. Cathy will be with us at our upcoming REST Retreat at Stone Mountain in Georgia. http://www.worshipcircle.com

A World of Difference
Dr. Chuck DeGroat on Healing What's WIthin: Finding Wholeness After Abuse

A World of Difference

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2024 55:26


If you're feeling the weight of past trauma and struggling to heal, then you are not alone! The journey to healing from abuse and trauma is often filled with challenges, and finding the right tools to navigate this journey can be overwhelming. But what if there was a resource that could guide you through this process and help you cultivate well-being? In this episode, you will be able to: Explore the transformative power of therapy in healing from abuse and trauma and reclaiming your well-being. Uncover the impact of narcissism in church leadership and gain insights into navigating the complexities of this issue. Discover the invaluable benefits of professional mental health support and how it can positively impact your healing journey. Understand the profound connection between attachment issues and trauma recovery and how it influences your healing process. Embrace the role of self-regulation in effective leadership and learn how it can enhance your personal and professional growth. My special guest is Dr. Chuck DeGroat Chuck DeGroat is a professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan, where he also serves as the founding executive director of the clinical mental health counseling program. He is a licensed therapist, spiritual director, author, retreat leader speaker, and faculty member with the Soul Care Institute. As a therapist, he specializes in navigating issues of abuse and trauma, pastoral (and leadership) health, and doubt and dark nights on the faith journey. He trains clergy in handling issues of abuse and trauma, conducts pastor and planter assessments, and facilitates church consultations and investigations of abuse. Before transitioning to training and forming pastors, Chuck served as a pastor in Orlando and San Francisco. He and his wife, Sara, have been married for 30 years and have two adult daughters. Listen to our previous episode with Chuck DeGroat on EPS 42. The key moments in this episode are: 00:11:03 - Faux Vulnerability in Church Leadership 00:13:09 - Misuse of Self-Work for Immunity 00:13:40 - Dysfunctional Dynamics in Churches 00:14:58 - Toxic Leadership and Manipulation 00:19:06 - Nervous System Dysregulation 00:22:10 - Healing Attachment Wounds 00:25:52 - Transformation and Non-Anxious Presence 00:26:17 - Recognizing Patterns of Toxic Behavior 00:27:24 - Accountability and Systemic Change 00:29:15 - Rebuilding for the Future 00:30:49 - Understanding Shame Dynamics 00:35:15 - Rediscovering the Goodness of the Heart 00:39:20 - Men Doing Deeper Work 00:40:02 - Bullying and Women 00:41:15 - Complimenting Each Other's Work 00:41:39 - Encouraging Curiosity and Healing 00:42:42 - Embracing Curiosity and Healing 00:53:11 - Finding Healing and Freedom Trauma is not what happens to us, but what happens within. - Chuck DeGroat Pre-order Healing What's Within by Dr. Chuck DeGroat on his website chuckdegroat.net. Join the Launch Team. Join the Patreon community at www.patreon.com/aworldofdifference to access exclusive content, including additional insights from Dr. Chuck DeGroat. Explore additional resources recommended by Dr. Chuck DeGroat at the end of each chapter, such as Dan Allender's To Be Told: Know Your Story, Shape Your Life and Frederick Buechner's Telling Secrets. Engage in introspective and mindful practices to support your healing journey, such as deep breathing, visualization, EMDR and brainspotting. Gift Healing What's Within to friends or loved ones who could benefit from the valuable tools and insights shared in the book. Follow the podcast here: https://www.aworldofdifferencepodcast.com https://www.linkedin.com/company/aworldofdifference/ https://www.twitter.com/@awodpod https://www.youtube.com/@aworldofdifference https://www.facebook.com/A-World-of-Difference-613933132591673/ https://www.instagram.com/aworldof.difference https://www.patreon.com/aworldofdifference Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Allender Center Podcast
Healing With Spiritual Direction with Vanessa Sadler

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2024 44:35


In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen is joined by Vanessa Sadler, a trauma-informed spiritual director and contemplative creative, who brings heartfelt wisdom to the conversation about healing from personal and collective trauma and abuse. Vanessa draws on her unique training in the Enneagram, spiritual direction, and Narrative Focused Trauma Care to explore what spiritual direction truly is (and what it is not).  Vanessa highlights the transformative power of spiritual direction as a vital part of the healing journey, helping to renew our spiritual imagination and attachment to God, ourselves, and others. She also shares some contemplative practices and resources that can support this process, which are linked in the show notes below. Listener Resources: Subscribe to NOURISH Daily, a guided journey delivered to your inbox for 30 days, at https://centerfjp.org/nourish/ . Vanessa's recommended reading list includes: Starting Spiritual Direction by John Mabry, Meditations of the Heart by Howard Thurman, and The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner. She also references authors Margaret Gunther and Kaitlin Curtice and therapist Melody Li. Read more about the Lectio Divina, Visio Divina, and the practices of kataphatic and apophatic prayer. Listen to Peace Talks, a podcast hosted by Vanessa Sadler from the Center for Formation, Justice, and Peace. In particular, Vanessa references this episode with Linda Royster and Dan Allender.

If You Really Knew Me
Episode 39 - Beth McCord - Enneagram for Moms

If You Really Knew Me

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2024 42:37


In this enlightening episode of "If You Really Knew Me," hosts Ben and Kim welcome special guest Beth McCord, an Enneagram speaker and author, to discuss the insights and wisdom from her new book "Enneagram for Moms."Beth shares her journey of discovering the unique struggles and strengths of different moms, which was largely influenced by a heartfelt conversation with her husband. The episode delves into the challenges of societal mom-guilt, the freedom found through Jesus in understanding one's God-given role as a parent, and the importance of having curiosity for and honoring our children's individual personalities.Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, Beth emphasizes self-awareness and self-regulation for parents, aiming to create healthier family dynamics. KEY TAKEAWAYS1. Embrace Unique Parenting Styles - Beth McCord encourages moms to honor and validate their unique strengths and struggles, stepping away from comparison and idealization of others. 2. Understanding Enneagram Types - The discussion covers how understanding both parents' and children's Enneagram types can lead to better parenting by addressing core motivations and needs. 3. Children's Personality Types - Beth emphasizes the importance of being curious about our children's personalities, guiding them rather than trying to mold them into versions of ourselves. 4. Learning from Children - Beth mentions the book "How Kids Raise Us" by Dr. Dan Allender and the humility that comes from allowing yourself to also be taught by your children, highlighting mutual growth inthe parent-child relationship. 5. Beth's Book - “Enneagram for Moms” - The book focuses on self-awareness, self-regulation, and caring for oneself based on Enneagram types, aiming to honor and glorify each unique personality type as created by God. RESOURCES:Connect with “If You Really Knew Me”Website: wearethebridge.org/enneagramFacebook: @enneagrampodcast Instagram: @enneagrampodcastBeth McCord's New Book - "Enneagram for Moms" by Beth McCord - Available through https://www.enneagramformoms.com Online Courses - “Discovering You” at https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/a/21465/AXkeBehG "Exploring You" at https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/a/21466/AXkeBehG"Becoming Us" for Couples at https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/a/21464/AXkeBehG15% COUPON CODE - BEN2392 for all eligible purchases from https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/a/21487/AXkeBehGConnect with Beth McCord - Website: yourenneagramcoach.comInstagram: @yourenneagramcoach FREE ENNEAGRAM ASSESSMENT:https://assessment.yourenneagramcoach.com/Would you like to have YOUR question answered and maybe even featured on a future episode? Submit your enneagram question toben@wearethebridge.orgIf you find this information helpful to you, SUBSCRIBE and journey with us.If you're not sure where to start but want to know more, refer to Ep 2 - The Enneagram ExplainedInfo credit: Beth McCord (Your Enneagram Coach)Hosts: Kim Willey and Ben SorrellsBen is a Certified Enneagram Coach through YEC and Beth McCordHelpful Links:Discover your Enneagram Type: Here's one that we like! YEC Enneagram Type AssessmentLearn about all 9 types: 9 Types OverviewIn-depth Enneagram Courses: YEC Enneagram Courses Please share If You Really Knew Me with a friend if you enjoyed this episode. If You Really Knew Me is still growing, and your positive review and 5-star rating would help.The Bridge Podcast Network is made possible by generous support from The Boardwalk Plaza Hotel and Victoria's Restaurant on the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware - Open 7 days a week, year-round - Learn more at https://boardwalkplaza.comFeedback, or Show Ideas? Send an email to podcast@wearethebridge.orgDownload The Bridge Mobile App to get the latest podcast episodes as soon as they are published!

The Allender Center Podcast
Summer Replay: Attachment Stories in Marriage with Dr. Steve and Lisa Call

The Allender Center Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2024 44:34


This month, we're bringing back three of our most popular conversations from last year, featuring some incredible guests. Whether you've heard them before or not, we invite you to listen, reflect, and perhaps share them with a friend. The third and final episode in our summer replay series features Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender, and Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call. This was our most-downloaded episode about marriage last year, and there's definitely some wisdom in this conversation. You'll hear how our attachment styles show up within the context of marriage, how to identify and name those attachments, and how to heal in our most intimate relationships. We'll be back next week with an all-new episode! Listener Resources: To learn more about how our stories unfold in our marriages, check out the Marriage Online Course. Listen to more episodes on the topic of marriage and relationships on this curated Spotify playlist: Podcasts on Marriage & Relationships.  

The Culture Translator
Dr. Dan Allender on Shame-Free Parenting

The Culture Translator

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2024 38:44


Today we're reposting an older interview with Dr. Dan Allender. Dr Allender is a renowned psychologist, author, and educator who has pioneered an innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy over the past 30 years. He is the founder of The Allender Center and a professor of Counseling Psychology at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. And while the sound quality of this interview is a little rough, we think you'll appreciate his insights and perspective all the same. For more parenting resources, go to axis.org 

Naming the Real
Arousal is the Soul of Every Story: A Path for Naming Fulfilled and Frustrated Desire (Storytelling III)

Naming the Real

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2024 43:18


Every story is an arousal story, because arousal is the soul's ultimate energy: we long for connection and become panicked at the possibility of disconnection. Arousal, in this sense, is far greater than sexual arousal—it is the energy animating all things. In this episode, we explore the idea of resolved arousal and unresolved arousal, with plenty of story examples and illustrations. Ultimately, we invite you to name how you experienced fulfillment or frustration in your, and the beliefs which became operative in you because of it. In this naming, there is a world of agency, action, and potential freedom. 

Exploring More
Going to War with Your Brothers

Exploring More

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 42:29


In last weeks episode, Michael and SJ talked about spiritual orientation to the bigger story and war that is going on.  It is not good for man to go through this story alone. In this Episode of Exploring More Michael Thompson, and SJ Jennings dig into a quote that Zoweh has come to love from Dan Allender.   It says “Find like-hearted kings living in the same direction. Sign treaties. When one kingdom is at war, both are at war.”  The Kingdom is meant to be a brotherhood full of Allies.  You'll hear conversation around why that is important, what a divine brotherhood can look like, hardships in brotherhood, and stories of the ultimate good that came from it.  Dig into more this episode with Michael, and SJ, to fuel the conversation around redemptive community in this episode of the Exploring More Podcast.   Connect with the Zoweh team by sending an email to ExploringMore@zoweh.org.     https://www.zoweh.org/dfgsummit  https://www.zoweh.org/podcast