Podcasts about Kolk

From our friends at Love and Radio, the groundbreaking new series Blood Memory. In this first episode, two women meet the same man in prison and walk away with decidedly different impressions of him.“Sometimes, if you want something great, you have to make a lot of sacrifices.”You can listen to the rest of the series over at the Love and Radio podcast! Stay tuned after the episode for an interview with Love and Radio creator Nick van der Kolk and Snap Producer John Fecile.This episode featured the voices of Ariel, Heather Brown and Michael Thompson. The series producer is Meera Kumar. Rrobin Amer is the Managing Editor with additional reporting by Brian Krans and Anya Schultz. Fact checking by Nicole Pasulka. Bill Rohlfing provided the voice of the radio announcer.This episode featured music from:The Lighthouse Trembles – Natalia Beylis – MermaidsMind Shifts – Michel Banabila – The Unreal RealmAcqua – Las Olas – Las OlasNot In Our Name – Pierre Bastien & Michel Banabila – Nuits Sans NuitVertigo – Zoroxxe – ZoroxxeMermaids – Natalia Beylis – MermaidsAprès La Pluie – Memory Scale – And All Things Begin to DriftRevoluciones (mirco) – Zoroxxe – ZoroxxeGood Grief – Sereptie – Sulpher's EndIntemperie – Glitch Bird – IntemperieA Listening Voice – Russ Young – CloakLa Inmanencia del Ser – Interspecifics – ReducciónTigre de Papel (feat. King Klavé) – Quixosis – Zen & CaroChanclas de Mercurio – Quixosis – Zen & CaroSentimental, Sedimentary – Dialect – Under~BetweenVertigo – Zoroxxe – ZoroxxeLágrimas de Sangre II – Ezmeralda -Patrimonio Inmaterial de la NadaThe Process from Birth – Michel Banabil – The Unreal RealmPaisaje Oblícuo – Zoroxxe – ZoroxxeWe'll Find Out – Timber Timbre – Timber Timbre

For years we've been told that healing trauma means talking about it. But what if talking isn't enough?In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Harvard-trained psychiatrist and world-renowned trauma expert Dr. Frank Anderson to explore why trauma isn't simply stored in your memories. It's stored in your body.We discuss why so many women find old wounds resurfacing during perimenopause and menopause, why food often becomes a coping mechanism for unresolved trauma, and why traditional talk therapy doesn't always create lasting healing.Dr. Anderson shares the science behind trauma, nervous system regulation, EMDR, Internal Family Systems, psychedelics, and the small daily experiences that help your brain and body finally feel safe again.If you've ever wondered why you keep reacting the same way despite years of personal growth, this conversation will help you understand what your body has been trying to tell you all along.In this episode you'll learn:• Why talking about trauma doesn't always heal it• How trauma becomes stored inside the body• The surprising reason menopause often brings unresolved trauma to the surface• Why emotional eating is often a protective response• How fasting reveals hidden emotional patterns around food• Why triggers are valuable clues instead of something to fear• The role of EMDR, Internal Family Systems, somatic therapies, and psychedelics in trauma recovery• Simple daily practices that begin creating lasting healingResources MentionedThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkTranscending Trauma by Dr. Frank AndersonTo Be Loved by Dr. Frank AndersonInternal Family Systems (IFS)More on Dr. Frank AndersonDr. Frank Anderson is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, internationally recognized trauma expert, and author of Transcending Trauma and To Be Loved. He trained alongside trauma pioneer Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, serves on the board of the Trauma Research Foundation, and has spent decades helping people heal through an integrative approach that combines neuroscience, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, and body-based therapies.Website: frankandersonmd.comInstagram: @frank_andersonmdDr. Frank Anderson's BooksFor more resources related to today's episode, visit the podcast episode page: https://www.drmindypelz.com/ep33XConnect with Dr. Mindy:Join Reset AcademyWatch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Dr. Mindy on InstagramSubscribe to Dr. Mindy's newsletterDisclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, fasting routine, or lifestyle.

Dr. Deb Muth 00:03What if your diagnosis isn’t actually your diagnosis? What if the fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, and inflammation you’ve been told are normal are actually signals your body is reacting to something in your environment? Something no one ever tested.What if the reason you’re not getting better is because no one is asking the right questions?Today, we’re exposing one of the most overlooked drivers of chronic illness, and why so many people are being dismissed, misdiagnosed, and left without answers.You guys can insert, one of our ads in here, that’d be great.Welcome back to Let’s Talk Wellness Now, the show where we uncover the root causes of chronic illness, explore cutting-edge regenerative medicine, and empower you with the tools to heal. I’m Dr. Deb, your medical detective. And today, we’re diving into the hidden drivers of chronic illness through the lens of functional and environmental medicine.If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with a chronic condition or is struggling with unexplained neurological symptoms, like fatigue, brain fog, numbness, or chronic pain. This episode is for you. So, grab your cup of coffee, tea, or whatever helps you unwind.Settle in, and let’s get started on your journey to deeper healing.Today, I’m joined by Dr. Kelly McCann. A board-certified physician in internal medicine and pediatrics, with advanced training in functional, integrative, and environmental medicine. She’s known for her work in mold illness, chronic infections, MCAS, and complex chronic conditions And for helping patients who have been told everything looks normal. She helps them finally get real answers. Dr. Kelly, welcome to the show. I’m so excited to have you here. Share a little bit about what you’re doing these days, and who you are, and who you’re serving with us. Kelly McCann 02:42Thank you. So, my favorite patient population is patients who deal with complex chronic illness, and I didn’t set out to deal with these kinds of patients, but I kept… needing to be able to solve the puzzles, right? So they would come in, and there would be so many things that just didn’t add up and didn’t make sense, and it started with,it started with just doing functional and integrative medicine, and GI issues, and hormone issues, and autoimmune issues, and then it was mold as a driver, and then it was Lyme disease and the other tick-borne infections, and then all of those patients, many of those patients developed mast cell activation syndrome.Which I’ve now gone on and become an expert in, because they all have it.And all the related conditions with MCAS, the Ehlers-Danlos, hypermobility syndrome, POTS, postural orthostatic tachycardic syndrome, and… The one thing that really stuck out to me over the years of treating these patients is the ones who were willing to take a deep look inside. And see how their… their belief patterns, how their thoughts how they perceived themselves, different traumas that they experienced. If they were able to reframe some of the ways that they were thinking about their illness, about themselves, their relationship to themselves, they were the ones who really healed.And not only did they heal physically, they healed emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. I have some patients who started out disabled, and now are running their own companies. One who, again, same thing, terribly disabled, lots of emotional issues, lots of ups and downs, food sensitivities, oxalate issues, and now she’s a medical intuitive. And she’s just doing fabulously, and has blossomed, right? So, this is a missing piece that we’re not really talking about. Dr. Deb Muth 05:04Yeah, I so agree with you. I see the same thing in my practice, and I treat a lot of the same people you do, and you are so right. Like, if we can get down to a deeper level with them, and address the trauma that happened.And it may be a trauma they never even remembered, right? It could be something that’s just seated in their cells and they don’t remember it. And you don’t directly think it’s causing the illness, but it is getting in the way of them healing. If you can address those things, those are the people that tend to do so much better, I think, versus the people who are getting some mileage out of their illness. That there’s a reason they stay stuck, there’s a reason they stay sick, they’re getting something from it, even though they don’t realize it in the moment.So let’s talk a little bit, before we hopped on the recording, you and I were talking about body, emotion, spirit. A little different than what we’re used to hearing with mind, body, spirit. Talk about your philosophy on this. Kelly McCann 06:01So what I’ve really come to realize is that the mind is getting in the way. And we have this perception that our mind is who we are. Right? We really think that who I am are the thoughts that I have every day. That’s me. And when I’m not getting better, it’s because my body is not… Falling in line with what my mind and my will want to do. So we set up this adversarial relationship. And this has been the philosophy in Western culture since Descartes said, I think therefore I am. Where the mind is supreme, and it is the all-knowing, and the body is just a vehicle for the mind. And every… Therapeutic intervention, from trauma-informed therapy, from, you know, wonderful people who have committed a lot of help and given great information. Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score, Gabor Mate, you know, all of these folks who have done such great work in us understanding trauma I think… The next phase is really recognizing that the body is actually not against us. It is not our enemy. In fact, it is… The body that is speaking to us as the voice piece of our souls and our spirits, that is saying to us, hey. you’re not listening. The path that you are walking down and the way that you are being in the world is not really working for you. It’s not who you are. It’s not who you’re supposed to be on the planet. And we’re trying to get your attention, right? Dr. Deb Muth 07:59Yeah. Kelly McCann 07:59I mean… Dr. Deb Muth 08:00this thing, so I’m gonna talk louder. Kelly McCann 08:02Exactly, exactly! It’s like a little toddler who only can speak in so many words, right? There’s only so many ways that a younger version of ourselves, or our bodies, like, how do our bodies communicate to us? Symptoms and sensations. That’s it. Those are the ways that our bodies communicate. And if we don’t listen to sensations, well, it’s gotta turn it up, it’s gotta turn up the volume, and then we have more symptoms. And then if we’re still like, no, it’s gonna do it my way, it turns up the symptoms some more. And when… We are in this adversarial relationship, we can’t bridge that gap. Can’t bridge that gap, so… What… what happens is thatUnderneath the symptoms and the sensations are emotions. Emotions that have not been processed. Because we’ve been stuffing them down, we believe that they shouldn’t exist, we don’t want to face them, we’re afraid of them, they’re not acceptable, we’re ashamed of them, whatever the reason may be, and they’re stuck in the body. And so the way through is to actually just feel our feelings. Dr. Deb Muth 09:26That’s kind of scary for some people. Kelly McCann 09:28It’s… it’s scary for the… it’s scary for the whole planet! Dr. Deb Muth 09:32For all of this, right? Kelly McCann 09:33For all of us. When we start to feel our feelings, we don’t like it. We’ve been taught it’s not okay. Boys, it’s not okay to cry. Girls, don’t be loud, don’t be angry. You’re a B-I-T-C-H if you do that, right? So there’s so many taboos about feeling our feelings. I have patients who say, I can’t be mad at my father or my mother because I was taught to honor thy father and thy mother. Like, yes, but you’re angry, and guess what?] That ain’t going nowhere until you express it, so… you have a choice. Express it, or hold onto it, and then you just kind of stay here in this space where it’s never expressed. Dr. Deb Muth 10:19Yeah, except in your body, in your physical being, right? Kelly McCann 10:22Except in your physical being. And here’s the magic. Emotions are meant to move through us, right? Emotion. They don’t last for that long!60 to 90 seconds, really? Maybe a couple minutes? Yeah. You really, really feel them. Right? Dr. Deb Muth 10:44Yeah. Kelly McCann 10:46And we’re terrified of that 60 to 90 seconds. Dr. Deb Muth 10:50What might we do to ourselves or to someone in that 60 to 90 seconds, right? I may scream, I may cry, I may not be this person that everybody thinks I’m supposed to be. That person that holds it all together is there for everybody, holds everybody else’s space. So well put together, right? If you’re not that person, then who are you? Are you human? Kelly McCann 11:16Oh, you’re more than human. Yeah, I mean, the way that I would look at it is, I would say, well, you don’t have to put on a show, right? This is really for you. Close the door, lock the… close the windows, get out your pillow. Whatever you need to do. I mean, I have some patients who will write it out. There’s a way to just, like, freeform write, where you don’t actually read it, you just write it out, scribble it out, get it all out on paper, and then burn it, or shred it, or something like that. you can pound a pillow, you can, you know, scream, whatever it is, you can cry. I mean, I think crying is, at least for… for me. Crying is the easiest way to think about it. So, you start crying, you’ve got a few little tears, you know, it’s not too bad, and then it’s a full-on sob, and then at some point, you’re like, okay, I think I need a tissue, right? But it doesn’t last forever Dr. Deb Muth 12:22No, it really doesn’t. I had a physical therapy friend who, when I started my practice, and you know, you start your business, and everything’s just chaotic, because you don’t know what you’re doing, and you have all kinds of people that don’t know what they’re doing, and there’s always a problem. Computer, the phone, the this, the that, blah blah blah. And she brought me what was called a Dammit doll. And I had never seen one, I didn’t know what it was, and it was this really… sturdy doll that didn’t look like anything, that had two legs that you could grab onto, that you could just beat at the table whenever you needed to. And she’s like, this is how you do it. And I was like. oh my god, that’s amazing! And I would use it every couple of hours sometimes, sometimes every day, and I would just be like. And then it was over.Yeah, sure, but it was over, instead of me walking around all day long, carrying all this frustration and not having anybody to talk to about it, because you’re busy during the day. And then if you keep talking about it, it just gets worse. But I could do that, and then I’d be done, and I’d be like, okay, I got it out, let’s find the solution, now let’s move on. Kelly McCann 13:28Exactly! Dr. Deb Muth 13:29Coolest thing! Kelly McCann 13:31Exactly! That is exactly what I’m talking about, Deb. Exactly, that’s so cool. I love that. Yeah, I mean, anger is really taboo in our society. Very taboo. And, And, you know, I have a couple patients that struggle so much with expressing their anger, but it’s important. It’s important. We’ve all had so, so many instances. You know, and… of being disappointed. Dr. Deb Muth 14:08Yeah. Kelly McCann 14:08from our… from… All sorts of situations in our lives. And, you know, nobody gets out of life without any trauma. you know, little T traumas. Everybody’s got some. Even if you have the most wonderful, well-meaning parents, something’s gonna happen, and it might be the parents, it could be just life, but things happen that we misinterpret. And then we think.We make decisions about ourselves, or about our families, or about what’s okay and what’s not okay, and those things cause us to forget who we really are. Dr. Deb Muth 14:53That’s okay. Kelly McCann 14:55Because when you look at a 1-year-old or an 18-month-old, they are joy and love incarnate, right? Dr. Deb Muth 15:03Yeah, they are. Kelly McCann 15:05That’s who we are. That’s who we really are. But we forget. We forget, because of all the rules, and all the expectations, and all the disappointment, and all the misinterpretations, we forget who we really are. And… I think… A life journey, especially a health journey, is a way back to who we really are. Dr. Deb Muth 15:32It’s interesting, as we’re talking about this, because I think about people who have really traumatic life events, like life and death. They are so lucky that they’re alive. They were in an accident, or, you know, they had this horrible cancer that they survived, and they weren’t supposed to. And they come out very differently, oftentimes. Because they realize how precious life is, and it’s… they look at life now as a gift instead of whatever else we were looking at it before that time, right? But they do truly look at life differently. I… I’m curious always, like, how do they… how do they do that? But yet, if we have a chronic illness.It’s so much harder to do that same thing when there’s a chronic illness versus an acute thing, and you’ve got this second chance. Kelly McCann 16:20Right? I see it as, The chronic illness is this slow decline, right? And because it’s a slow decline, there’s never that. Wake-up call. Which people get in a car accident, in a cancer diagnosis, where all of a sudden, your life changes in front of you, and you have to really reflect. Where I think with chronic illness, it’s like, oh, this isn’t great, I don’t love this. Oh, this is a little worse. But we keep hoping… which is the part that’s connected to who we really are, right? We keep hoping it’s gonna get better. Keep hoping it’s gonna get better, but it’s getting worse, and it’s getting worse. And… And we… as a… again, as a culture, have an expectation that somebody is gonna throw us a bone or a line, and we’re… they’re gonna pull us back out. We’re gonna find the right protocol, we’re gonna find the right practitioner, we’re gonna get… have somebody else help us get out. And… As healthcare practitioners, we can help people get 50% better, 80% better, you know, sometimes 100% better, but not all the time, because it’s an inside job. Dr. Deb Muth 17:42Well, and I like to tell people, too, like, you’re never 100%, 100% of the time. there’s always going to be something that you’re not gonna like. You wake up, you’re a little more tired, you know, you slept wrong, you got a kink in your neck, whatever it is. But I think you’re really on to something here, too, because if you don’t deal with the emotional baggage, the trauma. the person who said something to you in high school. If you don’t deal with that, and you carry that around forever. you kind of keep inviting the same people into your lives to treat you the exact same way. So then you just kind of keep that same pattern going over and over and over again, and you just keep thinking, why am I the doormat? Why does everybody keep kicking me? And when we truly start to deal with what happened, you start to attract those people differently in your lives, and people aren’t walking all over you anymore. Kelly McCann 18:35Right. And… It’s very easy to get caught up in the whys. And that keeps us up here. Right, and what I’ve found with myself and, you know, many of my patients is that We have to stay in the body long enough with the sensations and the emotions to have it, you know, crescendo on the emotion, and then decrescendo. But when we pop out, and we start asking, well, why did this happen, and why am I a doormat, and why am I a victim, and why, why, why, or… or analyzing, or what have you, we… We stop the emotive process. Which halts the resolution, and we don’t actually get to where we want to be. So, you know, I was just talking to a patient today. She’s like, well, I’ve been feeling my feelings, and I’ve been feeling the fear. I’m like, yes, but did you actually stick with it the entire time, or did you start thinking about it? Because we do this, we pop into our thoughts, and we’re like… oh, yeah, I was emoting. You know, like, oh, that made me sad. And then come back up here, and then we realize, oh, we gotta, we gotta… we’re still stuck in it, we’re still stuck in it. And I’m like. Dr. Deb Muth 19:56Like, when we’re… annotate. Kelly McCann 19:59Exactly! Exactly! It’s kind of like that, yeah. And so we stay on this little, hamster wheel. Because we don’t recognize it. The solution is in the emotion. Dr. Deb Muth 20:15So how do people stay in the feeling instead of letting their mind escape to the grocery list, the kid’s to-do list, dot dot dot dot dot? How do we stay in that emotion long enough to kind of work through it? Kelly McCann 20:30It’s a good question. I think… Having the awareness that that’s what you need to do. is the first step, right? Is to really say, okay, I’m gonna, like, put my mind outside of the door, say I’ll be back in 20 minutes, and then really just give yourself the permission to stay with whatever emotion that’s coming up. And it’s practice. It is a lot of practice. This is not… it’s very, very simple. It is not easy for the vast majority of people, and especially if we’re really patterned. So, I actually started an online program to help people learn how to do this. Because it is… not easy. Dr. Deb Muth 21:16If it was easy, we wouldn’t have so many problems, right? We would just move on and keep going, but that’s where we got ourselves into a lot of trouble, is we just recognize, acknowledge, move on, and say, okay, I’m out of it, good, let’s go, next thing, next thing. Kelly McCann 21:32Yeah, which doesn’t work. Like, oh, I dealt with that. I, you know, talked to my parents before they passed, and we came to an understanding. Like, that’s not the same thing as feeling your feelings, because that 10-year-old, that 5-year-old who felt abandoned, or felt… Abused, or whatever it is that you’re feeling, they’re still in there. The adult you made this agreement with your parents that you’re gonna be okay, right? But that kid you still is upset. So…I think the first… the first thing is recognizing that emotions and thoughts are very different, and to learn the difference. So if I say, I feel like blah blah blah blah blah, that’s not a feeling, that’s a thought. Dr. Deb Muth 22:26Hmm. Kelly McCann 22:27Right? I feel like, this. I’m in… I feel embarrassed. No, that’s the thought. Dr. Deb Muth 22:34That’s not… Kelly McCann 22:35the actual feeling. Feelings are really often located in the emotions. They’re very simple. I’m afraid. I’m sad. I feel terror. I’m angry. I’m enraged. Those are feelings. I… I am mad that blah blah blah blah blah. You know, we don’t necessarily have to know why we feel the feelings. Eventually, we will understand where they’re coming from. But it’s actually just feeling the feelings, and then… oh, I love this one, too. It’s like, well, I’ve forgiven them. I’ve forgiven them for, you know, what they did to me. That’s here. Yeah. If you’ve really forgiven them. it comes from here, and it comes after the feelings. So, we still have to feel our feelings if we’re angry or upset about something, if we’re sad about something, we have to feel them first, and then the beauty is in what’s underneath the emotions. It’s quiet, it’s calm, it’s soft, it’s connected to who you really are. And at that point, then you have a much broader worldview and understanding of things, and you can have compassion for yourself. You can have compassion for other people and their choices. And when I… when it’s… when it’s held in that space, it’s… it’s such a different experience. Yeah. Dr. Deb Muth 24:18Do you think people can have compassion for others if they don’t deal with their own things? Kelly McCann 24:24It’s, again, it’s… it’s from the head, right? Dr. Deb Muth 24:28Not from the heart. Kelly McCann 24:29It’s not from the heart. It’s not from the heart. And it’s a good try, but it’s, like, a carbon copy of the real thing. It’s not really the thing. Dr. Deb Muth 24:39Hmm. What happens if people walk around thinking that they have all this, you know, great compassion and love for the world,but it is truly just coming from the head and not the heart? Kelly McCann 24:54Then, you know, they’re kind of circling and circling, and they’ll find that the thoughts and the beliefs and the things that cause them to be upset will still be there. Right? There’s a… I mean, I have to admit, I don’t really watch the news, because it is upsetting, right? Dr. Deb Muth 25:14I am. Kelly McCann 25:15And I have a number of patients who are very, very distraught about the state of the world.That’s… not seeing the bigger picture. It’s coming from here. Rather than here. And this is a really hard thing for people to grasp. But when we are triggered, By something outside of ourselves. That is because that upset exists inside of ourselves. So, for example, if I call you stupid, Deb, and there’s no part of you believes that you are stupid, it will bounce off you. You know, like you’re a rubber ball, right? Because it’s not true. It doesn’t resonate anywhere in you, so you can’t possibly be triggered by that.But if I say to you something that, you find hurtful, it’s not because of what I’ve said. It’s because that hurt, that upset, is still alive in you. And that… Opportunity, then, Is there for you to say, hmm… Clearly, there’s something inside of me that needs some attention about this.we’ve… we don’t really think about life that way. Right. We think… That person made me mad. Nobody makes you mad. It’s you. That inside of you. Right? I was talking on the phone last night with one of my colleagues whose daughter is in the hospital, and she’s been in the hospital in, like, the best Children’s Hospital, in Chicago for 2 months. Two months with gastrointestinal issues. And… They haven’t done a CT scan yet. Dr. Deb Muth 27:24What? Kelly McCann 27:25I know. I was talking with another, physician colleague of… colleague of mine last night, or this morning, at the time. How… that should have been done in the ER! Dr. Deb Muth 27:38Yeah! Kelly McCann 27:39At least… At least, or maybe the first day of the hospitalization, they didn’t do an endoscopy until Last week. 7 weeks in the hospital with an NJ tube. Dr. Deb Muth 27:53Oh my god. Kelly McCann 27:54Tube feeds. like, what is wrong with these people, right? So, I was so mad on her behalf. And of course, what I realized, too, is then, okay, well, there’s stuff inside of me, like, I have really… I have some stuff about… what is expected of other people in the world, what is expected of other physicians in the world. Like, these are the worst physicians on the planet. They clearly don’t care. They should all be fired. But there’s stuff in me that is really being triggered by this, that I have… I have work to do about. And I still think it’s wrong. Dr. Deb Muth 28:36I had that same experience last week. I had a pharmacist tell my patient they didn’t need a prescription that I had ordered, because she… didn’t fill it frequently enough because she was using it differently than what we wrote it, which so many of our patients do. It’s a hormone, it’s not a big deal, right? Kelly McCann 28:53Yeah, right. Dr. Deb Muth 28:54And… and he said to her, well, I don’t think you need this anymore. Yes. Kelly McCann 29:00choice. Dr. Deb Muth 29:01Right, and that’s what I said, I’m like… I said, who the F is he? To tell you that he thinks you need this or not? He doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know your labs, he hasn’t been taking care of you for 20 years. I have, and you’ve clearly been using it. And so I called the pharmacy, and the conversation went a little differently on his side, of course, than what the patient explained to me, but I had to sit back, too, and I looked at that, and I was like, why was I so angry that he said this to her? And I understand, it was, you know, he was undermining my authority, my knowledge base, and I knew that right away, but I was still so triggered by it, and… and she was just kind of like. Yeah, I was really surprised he said that, but I figured he knew more than me, and I’m like, so I was coming to see you, I would just tell you, and you would tell me if it was right or wrong, and I’m like. okay, that was a good way to take it, but boy, that instantly triggered for me. But again, I recognized exactly why I was triggered with that, and had to calm down a little bit and all of that, but… I think there’s a lot of that that happens. And, you know, when you work hard to know what you know, and I work hard, and we see other people doing not even the basics, it’s kind of like, what is wrong with the world? Kelly McCann 30:18Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, and there’s stuff there, right? So why is it that I worked so hard to become the best doctor that I could? Because I didn’t feel adequate. And so, when somebody else shows up as inadequate, or I perceive them to be inadequate, that triggers that… my own inadequacy, right? Especially since it was a man, so there’s a man under my your authority. Yeah, that would just really get to me. Yeah, so there’s something around that, so I know that, you know, for me, that might be where I explore it, but yeah, it’s, Life is a journey. Dr. Deb Muth 31:00Yeah, it really is. And I think, too, from a practitioner standpoint, like, we take so many of our patients home with us, like, it’s our job to be the medical detective, figure them out.Help them find the answers, make them feel better. And not that we do it from an eco perspective, because I think most practitioners don’t. They truly do it because they care and they want to make people better, and we have this knowledge and this expertise that other people don’t have. But, boy, it gets harder and harder and harder when you get more and more chronically ill people to help them find the answers and help them be well, especially if they don’t deal with their own house, right? We don’t… if they don’t deal with their house, it’s hard for us to come in and say, let me help you deal with your house. Right. So, how does that fit into some of this? Kelly McCann 31:51You know, that’s a really good question. I had to learn that over time to be able to use my own intuition to say, how much is this person willing to do? And really evaluate their… their willingness to change, their willingness to do the hard work. And… And I… and I had to hone my intuition in order to do that, and now I see… I will see there are people that… they’re happy. in their little merry-go-round, in their whack-a-mole game. And I will do my best, and I will kind of, you know, nudge where I think it’s appropriate, but when they push back, I gotta let that go. I gotta let that go, and recognize that it’s their journey, it’s their life, and I can’t be more attached to their healing than they are. Dr. Deb Muth 32:49That’s what I’ve done, too. That’s what I tell my practitioners, my young practitioners that come in by me, too. I say the same thing. Like, I have some that are really young, and we’re all green, right? And we want to just fix the world, and I’ve got so much I can give you, and so much you can do, and then when they don’t do it, you’re like. what did I do wrong that they’re not doing it? And I have to go back and tell them the same thing. This is their journey, not yours. You’re just here to give knowledge and hold space. And they get to pick and choose what they want to do, and if it’s not exactly what we want them to do, that’s okay, it’s their journey. And every time… and I laugh because I always see my younger self in them, too, but why don’t they want to do it? This is gonna make them so much better! We have this tool! And it’s like… they’re not ready yet. It’s okay for them not to be ready yet. We have to be okay with the fact that they’re not ready yet. And I think as a provider and a practitioner, that is one of the hardest things to do, is to sit back and go, okay, you’re just not ready yet. When you’re ready, we’ll be here to hold you and hold space. But right now, you’re not there, it’s okay. Kelly McCann 33:52Yeah, it is okay. Yeah, actually, one of the women that I mentioned earlier, earlier in the podcast, it took her 18 months to get to the point where I felt like she was ready, and it was one of those things, like. You’re ready! I got so excited, and that’s exactly what I said to her. I was like, okay, here, I want you to read this book. Dr. Deb Muth 34:14And he was. Kelly McCann 34:14finally ready, and I gave her the book called How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can by Amy B. Share, which is just so awesome. And she took that book, and she was like, I am going to do this. And she wrote out journals and journals and journals, and… did lists, and then she would clear them, and then she would clear them. She got so much better, and then it was, like. Biofield tuning, and she did, Gupta, and Amya Piggin’s work, and, you know, so many other things. And then she was doing really well, 80% better, eating all sorts of foods, and there was still this little, like. Mmm, something’s still missing. Something’s still missing. Not quite where I want to be. I still have some mood issues. And then she came and joined my Unforgetting Project program. And that was the missing piece for her. This… whole thing that we’re talking about, like, just feeling the feelings was really her missing piece, because she was clearing, you know, with using EFT, but it wasn’t working anymore, because she actually was bypassing feeling her feelings. Dr. Deb Muth 35:38Hmm. Kelly McCann 35:39So I, you know, these programs, the nervous system programs, the limbic system programs, they are fantastic, and they’re super, super helpful. And then there comes a point in time where we have to shift gears, and we have to go deeper. But it… all of those programs get people, if they’re willing to put in the time and effort, get people to the place where, like, okay, now I gotta go in. Even deeper. Yeah. Dr. Deb Muth 36:07And that can be scary for people. That can be really frightening. I did a 10-day women’s retreat in Spain, with a priestess program, and I had no clue what I was doing. I was going to my first women’s retreat in Spain, no clue, but I had to do. Kelly McCann 36:23It sounds fantastic. Dr. Deb Muth 36:25Fantastic, right? And and when I got there, it was a lot of shamanic work, deep work, and, as we’re all… there’s, like, 30 of us women going through, and all different ages, going through things. And reliving our past as a child, and reliving all these different pieces of us as women that we’ve left behind someplace else. We’ve lost. And, And just sitting in… I still remember it to this day, you know, the crying, the sobbing, the anger, the screaming, the stomping. the silence. Like, everybody had a different way of dealing with those emotions coming out, and we had to be silent from, 10 at night till 10 in the morning. You couldn’t say anything to anybody. And, and that was a little challenging for a lot of us. But it gave you that time that after you went through one of these processes. you could process. You could just sit with those feelings, sit with what came up for you, journal. And it was a really incredible time to watch a lot of women just blossom into a new version of themselves, you know? Their old version, but a new version. A healed version of themselves, in a lot of ways, yeah. Kelly McCann 37:45So what… in the languaging that I’ve come up with, it’s the, unforgetting, right? So it’s actually the remembered self, because we have let go of the things that caused us to forget. So we have unforgotten who we really are, because As you’re right, it’s… it is not new, it’s just remembered, or unforgotten. Dr. Deb Muth 38:12Yeah. Yeah. That’s really awesome. For somebody that’s listening to us have this conversation, and they’re kind of thinking, this all sounds great, but I have no clue where to start with something like this, what kind of recommendations would you give to them? Kelly McCann 38:29Well, I actually have an online program. And… it’s, it’s a 9-week online program, and…What you’re doing in community is learning how to Feel your feelings, and how to understand them, and different access points in to them, and doing it in a community, which is terrifying for some people when they start, but at the same time, it is the most loving container Because these people are also on their complex chronic illness healing journey. And they have chosen themselves, and chosen to show up, and chosen to show up for 9 weeks, which is a long time, but it’s also this beautiful, sacred time. And, half of the class is lecture, sharing, and then half of the class we spend in trios. Which means, my staff divvy up people into groups of three, and then there… each trio goes through a process. They all do the same process.And you do it 3 times, so you have a chance to be, a different role in each iteration that you go through. So one role is the explorer. Those are the people who are actually just feeling the feelings. And exploring what’s going on inside of them. One person is what we call the companion, they’re kind of like the… the, not really the guide or the therapist, but they’re just holding space with them, maybe giving some prompts to help them work through the process. And there’s a handout that works through the process, and then there’s the third person whom is the anchor. And the anchor is holding that loving battery. And it just sets up this…situation where you’re held in such an embrace that you’re able to express your feelings. And one of the things I learned early on was that vulnerability leads to intimacy. And so, when you’re vulnerable with somebody else, they feel… closer to you, and they feel more capable of being vulnerable with you, because you’ve trusted them, right? So, it builds this level of vulnerability, intimacy, and trust in the community, and then each time you do your trio with somebody, with new people, often. Dr. Deb Muth 41:16time. Kelly McCann 41:17And it’s a really, really special program where you’re practicing this, and you’re doing homework, so you take the things that you learned from the class, and then you go home and you practice it with yourself. So that’s what I have come up with to help people start to really learn how to do this. And then it’s gonna grow from there. So I have a foundational class right now. We’re on… we just started our second cohort, And then eventually there will be a second-tier class, and workshops, and the other thing that I’m doing is one-on-one, trainings with… what one-on-one… I call them unforgetting journeys with people. So, you know how you go to a therapist, and you’re in the middle of a story, in the middle of sobbing, and they’re like, oh, well, that’s 50 minutes, it’s Here’s your tissue, we’ll see you next week. Dr. Deb Muth 42:12Yes. Kelly McCann 42:13Yeah, so painful. Dr. Deb Muth 42:16Oh, bad. Kelly McCann 42:16So painful, and I understand, like, we have the same thing, too, as physicians, like, oh, I’m so sorry, your time is up, I gotta go, I have more patients waiting. The unforgetting journey, I don’t have a clock. Dr. Deb Muth 42:29Mmm. Kelly McCann 42:30It’s… we go until you feel complete. And for most people, it’s two and a half, three hours. Dr. Deb Muth 42:37Wow. Kelly McCann 42:37To really process through the emotions that are coming up. Dr. Deb Muth 42:43to get… Kelly McCann 42:43To the point where you’re… they feel… Okay. I feel… I feel complete for today. Dr. Deb Muth 42:52For now. Kelly McCann 42:53For now. Dr. Deb Muth 42:54So the next layer, kind of. shows itself, right? Yeah. Kelly McCann 42:59Yeah, yeah. And for now, the Unforgetting Journeys are for people who have gone through the program, or are in the program, because you really need to… you have to have the skills. Dr. Deb Muth 43:11So, if somebody’s interested in your online program, how do they get in touch with you? Kelly McCann 43:17The website is unforgettingproject.com. And you can sign up right there. The next cohort will start May 20th. It’ll be a Wednesday evening. From 4.30 to 6.30 Pacific time, so I tried to make it so as many people on both sides of the continent could make it. I know it’s a little late for East Coast, but, yeah. And then, you know, every month or two, we’ll start a new cohort, so if you’re interested, and if those… that time doesn’t work for you. You know, I did Fridays initially, I’m doing Mondays, this iteration. We’ll try, other dates and times for people, and try and get a few more dates, on the calendar, so that people have some options. But yeah, that would be my suggestion. You can sign up for our email list, and we’ll be sure to let you know all the happenings at the Unforgetting Project. Dr. Deb Muth 44:17That’s awesome. And for those of you who might be driving or didn’t catch that, we will have it in the show notes as well, so that you can jot it down, check it out, if it sounds like it’s something that really resonates with you. Dr. Kelly, thank you so much for your time tonight. Is there any last words you want to leave with our listeners? Kelly McCann 44:35Of course, of course. There’s always hope. And that hope that burns inside you, that…There is a different life… a different life waiting for you. That is your spirit. That is your soul. Talking to you, and spurring you on. And my encouragement is to really listen to that. Because then you will find your way to people like Dr. Deb, and other practitioners who have heart, who have the tools and the capacity to help you on the physical world journey, and then… You know, my other encouragement would be, really listen to your body. Consider the possibility with curiosity that it is on your side. And if it’s on your side, and it’s talking to you and communicating to you, what might it be saying that it needs from you? Dr. Deb Muth 45:43I love that, that’s awesome. Thank you so much for your time today. Kelly McCann 45:47You’re welcome, my pleasure. I’m so happy to speak with you and to talk with your, audience. I think it’s wonderful. Dr. Deb Muth 45:54Thank you. Boom. Wow, what an episode we just had with Dr. Kelly McCann. This is incredible. It’s a completely different way for us to think about chronic illness, and think about what our body’s actually going through, and how we can repair it from a different aspect. So, thank you for joining me today on Let’s Talk Wellness Now. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who’s been searching for answers and hasn’t found them yet. And if you’re enjoying our episodes of Let’s Talk Wellness now, we would love to ask the biggest favor you could do for us, which is like and subscribe and share. It goes a long way for us getting our podcasts and our episodes out into the hands of so many people Who need to hear these messages. So, if you’re feeling inclined to do that, we would love that, that affirmation from you guys. So, remember, wellness isn’t just about feeling good, it’s about thriving in every area of your life. If you’re ready to explore the root cause medicine. We can help you. Visit serenityHealthCarecenter.com or Dr. Kelly McCann, and until next time, I’m Dr. Deb, reminding you to take care of your body, mind, and spirit. Be well, and we will see you on the next episode. The post Episode 270 – Chronic Symptoms Are a Hidden Message: How to Listen and Finally Heal | Dr. Kelly McCann first appeared on Let's Talk Wellness Now.

¿Por qué sigues atrayendo las mismas dinámicas aunque ya "trabajaste en ti"? La respuesta puede estar en el dolor que nunca lloraste. En este episodio de Conecta con tu Esencia Divina hablamos de cómo las emociones reprimidas bloquean el corazón, cierran la intuición y crean patrones que se repiten hasta que los ves. Comparto la historia de Valentina, reflexiones de Bessel van der Kolk y Carl Jung, y una práctica concreta para comenzar a sanar desde hoy.

Traumasde infância não precisam ser dramáticos para deixar marcas profundas. Anecessidade de agradar todo mundo, o medo de abandono nos relacionamentos, operfeccionismo extremo, a sensação de nunca ser suficiente, a dificuldade demostrar emoções — tudo isso pode ter raiz em experiências que você viveu muitoantes de ter palavras para descrevê-las.Nesteepisódio, Thais Galassi explora como a psicologia do desenvolvimento e aneurociência explicam por que mulheres adultas continuam reagindo a padrõesemocionais criados na infância — e o que é possível fazer a partir de hoje parainterromper esse ciclo.Você vaientender: por que seu cérebro ainda age em modo de sobrevivência | como otrauma molda relacionamentos e autoestima | o que a ciência diz sobre apegoansioso, fawn response e perfeccionismo | e uma técnica prática validada pelaneurociência para começar a se libertar desses padrões agora.Baseadoem estudos do JAMA Pediatrics, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology enas obras de Bessel van der Kolk, Pete Walker e Kristin Neff.Se vocêjá sentiu que nunca é suficiente, que tem medo de perder as pessoas que ama ouque precisa agradar todo mundo pra ser amada — esse episódio foi feito pravocê.

La longevidad no se compra con biohacking: Sari Arponen explica qué funciona de verdad y qué es ruido.Andrea Aguilar, psicóloga y terapeuta sexual. ha grabado un vídeo gratuito de educación sexual en pareja, abierto solo hasta el 24 de junio, es algo especial que no se puede nombrar o te banean el vídeo. Si quieres conseguirlo visita https://gente.info/andreaSari Arponen es médica internista especializada en medicina integrativa y autora del libro de longevidad más vendido en España. Desmonta el mito de que caminar 30 minutos al día es suficiente, explica por qué la dieta vegana de Brian Johnson omite ácidos grasos esenciales, y revela el vínculo directo entre la pérdida auditiva y el deterioro cognitivo. También: cuándo la métrica que llevas en la muñeca trabaja en tu contra, y por qué el chip más peligroso ya lo llevas encima.Repasa lo esencial de esta entrevista en 5 minutos de lectura. Suscríbete gratis aquí: https://www.oriolroda.com/p/longevidad-saludable-sari-arponenCAPÍTULOS0:00:00 La longevidad que no se compra: medicina integrativa con la Dra. Sari Arponen0:09:27 Caminar 30 minutos al día es ruina: lo que dice la ciencia sobre el sedentarismo0:12:06 Por qué el mensaje a las mujeres siempre es: no te muevas, eres frágil0:20:49 El error de buscar fuera lo que hay que buscar dentro0:25:24 Por qué la dieta vegana de Brian Johnson es un problema de salud0:36:19 El anti-aging, el well-aging y por qué el debate es un buenismo que da vergüenza0:44:32 El 25% de tu longevidad ya está escrito: cómo elegir bien a tus padres0:48:46 Somos hijos de la adversidad: por qué el biohacking extremo va en contra de tu biología0:59:35 Si solo puedes elegir uno entre fuerza y cardio, ¿cuál eliges? La respuesta de Sari1:14:12 Cuando la métrica manda más que tu sensación: el día que Sari se quitó el anillo Oura1:22:32 Los sentidos condicionan tu salud más de lo que imaginas, incluyendo el oído1:30:36 La pérdida de audición aumenta el riesgo de deterioro cognitivo: qué hacer1:47:06 El Alzheimer: por qué no apostaría por una cura en los próximos 15 años1:59:14 El Ozempic face: el efecto de los GLP-1 que nadie menciona en los titulares2:08:30 Omega-3, creatina y magnesio: qué toma Sari y cuándo los suplementos no sirven de nada2:27:06 El chip que te vendieron: tecnoestrés, tecnoadicción y la salud en la era digital2:49:14 El hábito de retorno a inversión más alto para la salud: la mesa elevableLibros mencionados:- ¡Es la microbiota idiota!, de Sai Arponen https://amzn.to/4e744uD- El sistema inmunitario por fin sale del armario, de Sari Arponen https://amzn.to/3SmmwH7- En la cocina con la doctora Arponen, de Sari Arponen https://amzn.to/4eq5pvB- El cuerpo lleva la cuenta. Cerebro, mente y cuerpo en la superación del trauma, de Bessel van der Kolk: https://www.amazon.es/dp/8412503600?tag=oriolroda-21- Hacia rutas salvajes, de Jon Krakauer: https://www.amazon.es/dp/8413141222?tag=oriolroda-21- Muchas vidas, muchos maestros, de Brian Weiss: https://www.amazon.es/dp/8413142245?tag=oriolroda-21Sigue a la Dra. Sari Arponen: https://www.instagram.com/drasariarponen/Únete a mi newsletter y tendrás las notas completas del episodio + nota de voz personal: https://www.oriolroda.com/subscribe

FINDING GOD PODCAST — SHOW NOTESEpisode: When Prayer Feels Hard — How to Pray When You're Hurt, Angry, or NumbEpisode SummaryIn this deeply honest episode of the Finding God Podcast, Keana speaks to the believer who wants to pray but feels stuck — the one who is hurting, angry, numb, or spiritually exhausted. Prayer can feel impossible in seasons of pain, but Scripture shows us that God meets us gently in those moments. This episode explores why prayer becomes difficult, how trauma and emotional overwhelm affect our ability to connect with God, and how to approach prayer with honesty instead of pressure.✨ Recap of Last Week's EpisodeKeana revisits last week's conversation, What God's Voice Sounds Like When You're Healing, reminding listeners that God's voice is gentle, patient, and compassionate. Healing helps us separate God's voice from fear, shame, or past wounds — a foundation that prepares us for today's discussion on praying through pain.✨ What We Cover in This Episode1. Why Prayer Feels Hard in Painful SeasonsHow emotional overwhelm and survival mode affect prayerWhy numbness is a protective response, not spiritual failureHow anger toward God creates shame and avoidanceInsights from psychologists like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Diane Langberg, and Dr. Julie Gottman2. Biblical Examples of People Who Struggled to PrayDavid's honest laments (Psalms 13, 22, 42)Hannah's wordless prayer in bitterness of soulElijah's exhaustion and despair in 1 Kings 19Job's raw questions and emotional honestyJesus' agony in Gethsemane3. What to Do When You Can't PrayPraying honestly instead of perfectlyUsing breath, silence, and stillness as prayerBorrowing prayers from Scripture, worship, or written prayersPraying small, simple, one‑sentence prayersAllowing God to come to you instead of striving4. Bible Verses for Hard SeasonsPsalm 34:18Romans 8:26Psalm 13Psalm 42:5Matthew 11:281 Peter 5:75. Practical Ways to Reconnect With GodCreating a safe prayer spaceUsing grounding techniques before prayerJournaling your prayersPraying through music or ScriptureGiving yourself permission to slow down✨ Key TakeawayGod is not disappointed in your struggle. Prayer is not a performance — it's presence. God meets you in your numbness, your silence, your anger, and your tears. You are not failing spiritually. You are healing, and God is near.

¿Por qué seguimos atrayendo relaciones que duelen?¿Por qué la historia parece repetirse con diferentes personas?En este episodio hablamos de heridas emocionales, apego, trauma relacional y patrones inconscientes que muchas veces confundimos con amor.Exploramos cómo las experiencias de la infancia moldean nuestra forma de vincularnos, por qué el cuerpo puede sentirse atraído por lo familiar aunque sea doloroso, y cómo empezar a elegir relaciones desde la conciencia y no desde la herida.✨ Hablamos sobre:Teoría del apegoRelaciones ansiosas y evitativasTrauma emocional y memoria corporalConstelaciones familiares y lealtades invisiblesLa diferencia entre amor y activación emocionalCómo dejar de perseguir amor y empezar a recibirloInspirado en enseñanzas de John Bowlby, Bessel van der Kolk, Bert Hellinger y Joe Dispenza.Este episodio es un abrazo para la parte de ti que alguna vez creyó que tenía que ganarse el amor.Porque el amor sano no se siente como tormenta.Se siente como hogar

Bu bölümde, hayatımızda zaman zaman yaşadığımız ama tam olarak adını koyamadığımız bir süreci ele alıyorum: dağılmak. Kırılmaktan farklı, daha sessiz ve daha derin olan bu sürecin — direniçten çözülmeye, belirsizlikten yeniden tomurcuklanmaya — dört aşamasını konuşuyorum. Bessel van der Kolk'un beden ve direnç üzerine düşüncelerinden, Rilke'nin "soruyla yaşama" fikrinden ve Japon Kintsugi sanatından ilham alarak şunu sormaya çalışıyorum: Dağıldığımız anlar, bizi bitiren şeyler mi yoksa bizi dönüştüren süreçler mi? Keyifli dinlemeler...

Forgiveness has a pace of its own, and sometimes the most honest thing we can do is admit we're not there yet. This episode explores what it means to give ourselves (and each other) permission to be in process, without the pressure to be further along than we actually are.    LINKS: Book of Forgiving  |  Connect  |  YouTube  |  Coming Up   TRANSCRIPT: Brief framing before reading: We're talking about forgiveness in this series. About what happens when someone hurts us — or when we hurt someone else. And about the choices we have when that happens. I'm going to read you the first half of a book today. We're going to stop in the middle on purpose because the most important part of the story for TODAY is actually what happens right... here. And we're going to finish it next week. Read first half of Wally and Freya. Brief unpack after reading: What's happening in the story: someone got hurt. Both of them, actually. And now they have a choice. Two roads: get even, stay hurt… OR something harder, and maybe even braver. Forgiveness doesn't always happen right away. It takes practice. And the very first steps are: tell somebody you trust what happened, and then tell about what it felt like. When somebody does something that hurts me, I feel sad, and kind of mad. Sometimes it feels like I don't matter much to them. Just saying that out loud is an important thing to do! In the story, Wally and Freya are both sad. Both hurt. And now they have a choice to make. So do we. We'll find out what they choose next week. The Stone — Kids Practice Give each child a stone. This stone is like the hurt we carry when someone has hurt our feelings, or our bodies, or our hearts. It has some weight to it, just like the hurt does. You can return to your seats and work in their special kids Sunday Paper: Trace the stone on the paper. Inside the tracing, write or draw what the hurt is. Hold onto your stone. We're going to do something with it in a few minutes, everybody together. You can also listen in to what I'm saying, if you want to hear more about forgiving! Catching Everybody Up//Recap Welcome anyone who is new or wasn't here Week 1. I want to do a brief recap: We're in a series called The Book of Forgiving, drawing from Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho's important work on what forgiveness actually is, and how to do it. The Tutus aren't theorists. Desmond Tutu chaired South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Mpho lost her husband to violent crime. These are people who have earned the right to talk about this. Their framework is called the Fourfold Path: Telling the Story → Naming the Hurt → Granting Forgiveness → Renewing or Releasing the Relationship. In wk 1 we looked at the first step: Telling the Story. Today: Naming the Hurt. The big idea underneath all of it: We desperately need an imagination bigger than the revenge cycle we live inside culturally. That cycle is everywhere— in our politics, our entertainment, our instincts. The Tutus show us a different road. The Problem with How We Do Forgiveness Let's be honest about why forgiveness is so hard to practice, even for people who believe in it. We've collapsed forgiveness into remorse. Someone says "sorry!"— maybe genuinely, maybe not— and suddenly the pressure shifts entirely to the person who was hurt: Now you have to forgive. We skip the whole middle. That's not forgiveness. That's cruel urgency dressed up as something kind. We've made forgetting the goal. But the Tutus are clear: forgetting is not only impossible, it's actually counterproductive. Memory is part of how we protect ourselves. Part of how we stay honest. Forgiveness is not amnesia. We've weaponized it. In religious spaces especially, "forgive" has been used to protect people who caused harm and to silence people who were hurt. When forgiveness gets wielded as a command that bypasses accountability — when it becomes "Jesus says you have to forgive, so stop talking about what happened" — that is not sacred or faithful. That is abusive. And yet — Jesus does make forgiveness an ultimate, limitless command. Seventy times seven. God forgives without limit; our response is gratitude and extending that same grace. So how do we hold both? How do we take forgiveness seriously without letting it become a weapon? The answer is: we stop skipping the important steps. Forgiveness Cannot Be Rushed The Fourfold Path is a path…  it has an order for a reason. You cannot get to granting forgiveness without first telling the story and naming the hurt. Trying to skip there is what creates the toxic, pressured, performative version of forgiveness we've all experienced. And we'll get into this later in the series, but granting forgiveness has nothing to do with the decision to either renegotiate or release that relationship.  Forgiveness needs to be as slow as it needs to be. It has a pace of its own. That pace deserves to be honored. (Callback to the stone practice from Week 1): Did anybody actually hold that stone in their non-dominant hand for six hours this week? What was that like? [[funny?]] That's the point. Six hours felt like a lot. Some of us have been carrying something for six years. Or sixty. It deserves time. The Second Step: Naming the Hurt  So what does it actually mean to name the hurt? It starts with telling your story… to yourself? To God? To people you trust. Not to everyone. Not on social media. Not to the first person who will listen. To the right people, in a safe space. The Tutus: Tell your story first to a friend, loved one, or trusted person. That's a good place to start. There is a reason confession exists across almost every spiritual tradition. Not as a transaction, but as the practice of being heard without being fixed. What naming the hurt does: It begins to move what happened from something that is happening to you — constantly, on loop — into something that happened, that you can now begin to look at. Bessel van der Kolk: the body keeps what the mind won't name. When we give language to an experience, we move it from the body's alarm system into the part of the brain that can begin to process it. The Tutus frame it this way: Identify the feelings within the facts. The facts are WHAT HAPPENED. The feelings are what it COST you. What naming the hurt does NOT do: It does not mean what was done to you was okay. It does not mean you've forgiven anything yet. It does not mean you owe anyone resolution. But there is something that begins to shift. There is relief– which to be clear, is not the same as justice, and not the same as healing, but real relief— when the hurt stops being the main character in your story because you finally named it out loud. The Tutus again: No feeling is wrong, bad, or invalid. Move forward when you are ready. We Are Only Human With Other Humans This is why we do this together. Not because community is always safe — sometimes it isn't. But because we cannot become fully human alone. The Tutus: We do not heal in isolation. Connecting with others is how we develop compassion for others and for ourselves. What makes a good witness to someone naming their hurt? The Tutus give us a short, countercultural list: Listen. Do not try to fix the pain. Do not minimize the loss. Do not offer advice. Offer your love and your caring. That's it. Stay in the room. Don't flinch. Don't fix. That is one of the most profound gifts one human can offer another. Invitation: The Stone Practice Now we're all going to do something together— kids and adults. Invite everyone to pick up or find their stone. Walk them through the Tutus' "Clenching the Stone" practice (Book of Forgiving, Chapter 5): Take your stone in your dominant hand. Think of a hurt you are carrying right now. Name it… silently, or under your breath. As you name it, clench the stone in your fist. Now open your hand. As you release your fist, release the hurt — not forever, not resolved, just... set down for a moment. You can clench and release again for each thing you're carrying. Breathe… We're not asking you to be over it. We're not asking you to forgive it yet. We're just asking you to name it, and take the permission you can give yourself to walk the path of forgiving, at a pace that is right for you. That's enough for today. That's the work.

¿Alguna vez has sentido que una parte de ti sabe que debe cambiar… pero algo dentro sigue resistiéndose?En este episodio hablamos de ese momento donde el alma pide expansión, pero el miedo intenta mantenernos en lo conocido.Exploramos por qué cambiar no es solo una decisión mental, sino también un proceso emocional, corporal y espiritual. Hablamos sobre identidad, apego, memoria emocional, la voz de la intuición y el duelo de soltar versiones de nosotros mismos.✨ ¿Cómo diferenciar intuición y miedo?✨ ¿Por qué a veces permanecemos en lugares que ya no tienen alma?✨ ¿Qué ocurre cuando la vida que soñamos ya no cabe en la versión que hemos sido?También comparto herramientas, reflexiones y enseñanzas inspiradas en el trabajo de Joe Dispenza, Bessel van der Kolk, la teoría del apego y la psicología humanista.Si estás viviendo una transición, una crisis o sientes que algo dentro de ti está cambiando… este episodio es para ti.Respira… quizá no te estás perdiendo. Quizá estás renaciendo

Here's a question most men never ask themselves until it's too late: If you found out today you had six months to live — what would you regret?Turns out, the answer is almost entirely predictable. And preventable. Researchers have been interviewing men in hospice care, in their 70s and 80s, men who built impressive careers and full lives — and the same ten regrets show up over and over, regardless of income, culture, or zip code.Which means two things: you're not uniquely screwed up. And these regrets can be avoided.In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down the ten most common regrets men report later in life, what the research actually says about how regret works (hint: the things you didn't do hurt worse than the things you did), and the single pattern underneath all of it that most men never see until it's too late.You'll hear about the attorney who showed up to every recital and missed his daughter's entire childhood. The project manager who retired fully funded and spent eight months in an empty fog. The guy who spent 25 years saying he'd walk the Camino de Santiago — until his knees made the decision for him.This isn't a shame spiral. This is a heads-up. A roadmap of the terrain most men walk blindly into — and a set of tools for navigating it differently while there's still time.In this episode: Why inaction regrets are more painful and persistent than action regrets (Northwestern research) The "impact bias" — why men massively underestimate how bad future regret will feel The top 10 regrets men report most consistently as they age The Inner Board Meeting model — and why most men have the wrong executive running their life A one-week assignment that actually moves the needle (no journaling required) The launch of Proximity Coaching — AI coaches built on 30 years of real psychology, available 24/7 at proximitycoaching.com If you've had any version of the thought "I'll get to that later" — this episode is for you.Try Proximity Coaching free: proximitycoaching.com Email John: John@guidetoself.com Instagram: @theevolvedcavemanResearch cited: Roese & Summerville (2005); Gilovich & Medvec (1995); Carstensen (2006); van der Kolk (2014); Levenson, Carstensen & Gottman (1994)Want Fewer Regrets and Greater Connection? Start Here…

En este episodio de Leyendo con Vale seguimos con el capítulo 11 de El cuerpo lleva la cuenta de Bessel van der Kolk.Hablamos de una verdad clave: el trauma no siempre vuelve como recuerdo… vuelve como sensación.Ansiedad, pánico, cansancio, desconexión…muchas veces no estamos reaccionando al presente,sino a heridas que el cuerpo todavía recuerda.También exploramos por qué el trauma queda “congelado”, cómo se expresa en nuestra vida diariay por qué sanar no es borrar el pasado, sino dejar de vivir en alerta.Gracias por ser parte de esta comunidadSigueme en instagram @leyendoconvalepodcastEl eco de Dios en mi historia en Amazon: https://a.co/d/0j6eyzMF

In this solo episode of Perfect Prey, Dr. Christine Cocchiola explores the connection between coercive control, childhood trauma, attachment, and the growing number of children being diagnosed with ADHD and other behavioral disorders. Dr. Cocchiola challenges listeners to consider a critical question: what if many of the behaviors we label as “problematic” are actually trauma responses? What if children living within coercively controlling family systems are being misunderstood rather than truly seen?Drawing from the work of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Bruce Perry, and betrayal trauma theory, this episode examines how trauma can manifest as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in children — and how coercive control fractures attachment, identity, safety, and regulation. Dr. Cocchiola also discusses how predatory parents weaponize children, how attachment is intentionally disrupted, and why protective parents play such a critical role in healing and rebuilding safety for their children.What we coverThis episode is essential listening for protective parents, clinicians, educators, advocates, and anyone trying to better understand trauma, child behavior, and coercive control.How trauma can mimic ADHD symptomsFight, flight, freeze, and fawn trauma responses in childrenCoercive control within family systemsHow predatory parents fracture attachment intentionallyWhy dysregulated children are often misunderstoodAttachment, authenticity, and child developmentTrauma, dissociation, and emotional regulationThe impact of coercive control on school performance and behaviorWhy children exposed to abuse may appear oppositional or disengagedProtective parenting and reigniting attachmentBroken attachment, broken safety, and “broken brain”How systems often pathologize traumatized children instead of protecting themWhy listenIf you are raising a child impacted by coercive control, navigating post-separation abuse, or working professionally with children and families, this episode offers a trauma-informed framework for understanding behavior through the lens of attachment and survival.Dr. Cocchiola invites listeners to shift away from asking “What's wrong with this child?” and instead ask: “What happened to this child?” Connect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Dr. C's Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunityOfficial site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may need this conversation, subscribe to Perfect Prey, and leave a review — it helps other survivors and protective parents find support and validation.

This is not a morning routine episode. This is a therapeutic system built from years of trial, error, and paying very close attention to a body with autoimmune disease.Brandi takes you through her full day, from 6:30 AM to lights out at 11, and Dr. Desiree breaks down the biology behind every single piece of it. Not because it looks good on paper, but because the research backs it and the Oura ring data confirms it.If you are living with an autoimmune condition, or you know something is off and you cannot name it yet, this episode is the one to send to every woman in your life who needs to hear it.What You'll Learn:Why the first five minutes after you wake up are the most neuroplastic window of your entire day and how to use that on purposeWhat Brandi puts in her morning mason jar and the specific reason each ingredient is in there (lemon, apple cider vinegar, mushroom extract and why order and timing matter)The three-legged stool model of autoimmunity and how every element of Brandi's day maps directly to one of those three legsWhy meditation is not a wellness extra for someone managing autoimmune disease, and what the epigenetics research actually says about itThe difference between morning coffee and matcha for your cortisol levels, your gut lining, and your immune regulationWhat "back pocket thoughts" are and how a 10-15 minute journaling practice is physically building new neural pathways in your prefrontal cortexWhy morning light in your eyes (without sunglasses, without a window) sets your circadian rhythm for the entire day and directly affects sleep quality 14-16 hours laterThe one thing that is independently associated with increased inflammation regardless of what else you are doing (and it is not your diet)Why Brandi takes Reishi and magnesium bisglycinate every single night and what her Oura ring data shows about sleep quality when she doesHow a hot shower before bed is triggering the same nervous system wind-down signal as your evening supplementsWhat the glymphatic system does while you sleep and why no supplement or practice can replace the repair work that only happens in those hoursThe single strongest predictor of microbiome diversity, and how to hit 30 plant foods a week without overhauling your entire kitchenResources Mentioned:Eversio Wellness 5 Mushroom Blend (Metabolic / Hormone Balancing): https://www.eversiowellness.com/Eversio Wellness Lion's Mane: https://www.eversiowellness.com/Eversio Wellness Reishi: https://www.eversiowellness.com/Soar Organics Matcha (Vancouver-based, USDA and Canada Organic certified): https://www.soarorganics.com/EWG Clean 15 and Dirty Dozen (annual pesticide guide for produce): https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/Oura Ring: https://ouraring.com/The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk (referenced in context of trauma and autoimmune disease)Brandi's Book: https://www.eversiowellness.com/products/healing-your-body-mind-and-soulTake the Eversio Wellness Quiz: https://www.eversiowellness.com/pages/take-our-quizYour Next Steps:Take the Wellness Quiz to find the right mushroom for you: https://www.eversiowellness.com/pages/take-our-quizShop Eversio Wellness and save 15% with code PODCAST15: https://www.eversiowellness.com/Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eversiowellness/Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCSZdEq_Qk0SYCKCeAwuuiwListen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0cNGNkTVcgpS2an1IFy1HJ?si=673791bd190e4c33

What if the anxiety, overthinking, people pleasing, emotional shutdown, hypervigilance, burnout, and relationship struggles you experience today… were never actually "you" to begin with? In this deeply personal and profoundly eye-opening solo episode, Darin Olien dives into the hidden nervous system programming formed between the ages of 0 and 8 that silently shapes our adult lives. Drawing from neuroscience, trauma research, attachment theory, epigenetics, somatic healing, and his own emotional breakthroughs, Darin explores how childhood experiences become subconscious operating systems that influence everything from relationships and stress responses to chronic disease and self-worth. This episode is a powerful roadmap toward healing. Darin breaks down the science behind trauma, the ACE study, nervous system dysregulation, emotional patterning, and neuroplasticity, while also sharing practical tools like somatic experiencing, expressive writing, EMDR, and Internal Family Systems to help listeners begin rewiring their emotional lives from the inside out. What You'll Learn How childhood experiences program the nervous system Why most adult emotional reactions are subconscious survival patterns The connection between trauma, stress hormones, and chronic disease How the nervous system stores emotional experiences in the body Why people pleasing, hypervigilance, burnout, and emotional shutdown develop The science behind neuroplasticity and rewiring the brain What the ACE Study revealed about childhood trauma and adult health How trauma impacts the amygdala, hippocampus, and stress-response systems Why emotional patterns are adaptations, not character flaws How epigenetics can pass trauma responses across generations The role of somatic experiencing in trauma healing Practical tools for emotional regulation and nervous system repair Chapters 00:00:03 – Welcome to SuperLife 00:00:32 – Sponsor: Bite Toothpaste and eliminating toxic plastic exposure 00:02:47 – Darin introduces emotional reactions and nervous system triggers 00:03:15 – A personal story about reacting vs responding in conflict 00:03:50 – Emotional shutdowns, rage, withdrawal, people pleasing, and overcorrection 00:04:19 – Darin's physical pain journey and emotional discoveries in 2025 00:04:42 – Birth trauma, childhood conditioning, and nervous system programming 00:05:04 – Why the ages of 0–8 are the most neurologically influential years 00:05:18 – Theta and delta brainwave states during childhood 00:05:55 – How children absorb emotional patterns without filters 00:06:22 – Childhood experiences becoming subconscious operating systems 00:06:44 – Adults unknowingly living through a 5-year-old nervous system 00:07:12 – Why this episode became deeply personal for Darin 00:07:35 – The neuroscience behind stress responses and emotional conditioning 00:08:17 – Brain development, neuroplasticity, and subconscious programming 00:09:13 – How the HPA axis, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex are shaped early in life 00:09:45 – Core childhood questions that program the nervous system 00:10:29 – Why adult stress responses originate in childhood environments 00:11:05 – Research showing childhood adversity alters brain structure and chemistry 00:11:18 – The ACE Study explained 00:11:49 – Why patients losing weight became emotionally overwhelmed 00:12:18 – The ten categories of adverse childhood experiences 00:13:02 – "The health crisis of America begins in childhood" 00:13:36 – How adverse childhood experiences increase disease risk 00:14:03 – Suicide, alcoholism, autoimmune disease, depression, and trauma correlations 00:14:37 – Chronic disease as a nervous system issue 00:15:04 – Survival mode, inflammation, hormonal dysregulation, and emotional scarcity 00:15:42 – Self-sabotage and emotional coping patterns explained 00:16:02 – Why your emotional patterns are not character flaws 00:16:22 – Childhood survival adaptations and nervous system intelligence 00:16:52 – Hypervigilance, people pleasing, rage, emotional shutdown, and fear 00:17:05 – Sponsor: Manna Vitality and frequency-based wellness 00:18:59 – Epigenetics and inherited trauma responses 00:19:22 – Cortisol regulation genes and hyperactive stress responses 00:19:51 – Holocaust survivors, inherited trauma, and generational nervous systems 00:20:19 – Why healing requires nervous system awareness—not just intellectual understanding 00:20:45 – "You were never supposed to get over it—you were supposed to heal from it" 00:21:01 – Real-life examples of subconscious nervous system programming 00:21:16 – Why receiving compliments can feel unsafe 00:21:30 – Darin's personal struggle with overachievement and scarcity programming 00:22:03 – Emotional neglect, chronic striving, and feeling "not enough" 00:22:16 – The nervous system roots of burnout and exhaustion 00:22:23 – Hair-trigger emotional reactions and hyperactive amygdala responses 00:22:38 – Chronic self-abandonment and losing personal boundaries 00:22:52 – Fear of intimacy, trust issues, and emotional safety 00:23:02 – "The body keeps the score" explained 00:23:22 – Trauma stored in posture, breath, digestion, immunity, and emotional regulation 00:23:43 – Harvard research on trauma-related brain changes 00:24:19 – The radical power of neuroplasticity and nervous system rewiring 00:24:48 – Why healing requires conscious participation 00:25:01 – Darin shares how healing changed decades of emotional pain 00:25:33 – Somatic Experiencing and Peter Levine's trauma work 00:25:57 – How animals discharge stress naturally 00:26:23 – Trauma as incomplete physiological responses frozen in the body 00:26:42 – Why humans suppress emotional discharge 00:27:16 – PTSD research and the effectiveness of somatic experiencing 00:27:41 – A step-by-step somatic grounding practice 00:28:14 – Why healing is more powerful with a regulated person beside you 00:28:38 – EMDR and reprocessing traumatic experiences 00:28:55 – Internal Family Systems and the "parts" inside the psyche 00:29:13 – Inner critics, overachievers, and nervous system adaptations 00:29:39 – Compassionately listening to emotional parts instead of suppressing them 00:29:51 – Expressive writing as a trauma healing practice 00:30:22 – The neuroscience behind emotional journaling 00:30:48 – A four-day expressive writing protocol for healing 00:31:05 – "You are not broken" 00:31:16 – Reprogramming the nervous system through love and safety 00:31:37 – Why deep healing happens in the presence of another regulated person 00:31:52 – Darin considers creating a future healing workshop 00:32:04 – Final reflections: "You are not what happened to you" 00:32:12 – Peace. Love. SuperLife. Thank You to Our Sponsors Bite Toothpaste: Go to trybite.com/DARIN20 or use code DARIN20 for 20% off your first order Manna Vitality: Go to mannavitality.com/ and use code DARIN12 for 12% off your order. Join the SuperLife Patreon: This is where Darin now shares the deeper work: - weekly voice notes - ingredient trackers - wellness challenges - extended conversations - community accountability - sovereignty practices Join now for only $7.49/month at https://patreon.com/darinolien     Connect with Darin Olien: Website: darinolien.com Instagram: @darinolien Book: Fatal Conveniences Platform & Products: superlife.com New Show: Roadmap to Happiness Key Takeaway "The emotional patterns, fears, reactions, and coping mechanisms that run your adult life are often survival adaptations created by your nervous system during childhood. They are not your identity. They are not permanent. And through awareness, somatic healing, emotional processing, nervous system regulation, and conscious repetition, those deeply rooted patterns can be rewritten into something healthier, freer, and more aligned with who you truly are." Bibliography/Sources Neuroscience & Early Programming Agorastos, A., Pervanidou, P., Chrousos, G. P., & Baker, D. G. (2019). Developmental trajectories of early life stress and trauma: A narrative review on neurobiological aspects beyond stress system dysregulation. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10, Article 118. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00118 Bolton, J. L., Short, A. K., Simeone, K. A., Daglian, J., & Baram, T. Z. (2019). Programming of stress-sensitive neurons and circuits by early-life experiences. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, 13, Article 30. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2019.00030 Shonkoff, J. P., & Boyce, W. T. (2024). Toxic stress and developmental programming of the HPA axis. Annual Review of Developmental Psychology. https://www.annualreviews.org/journal/devpsych Teicher, M. H., & Ohashi, K. (2023). Childhood trauma and reduced hippocampal, anterior cingulate, and corpus callosum volumes. JAMA Psychiatry. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking / Penguin. https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313183/the-body-keeps-the-score-by-bessel-van-der-kolk-md/ ACE Study & Adverse Childhood Experiences Felitti, V. J. (2002). The relation between adverse childhood experiences and adult health: Turning gold into lead. The Permanente Journal, 6(1), 44–47. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6112216/ Felitti, V. J., & Anda, R. F. (2010). The relationship of adverse childhood experiences to adult health, well-being, social function, and healthcare. In R. Lanius, E. Vermetten, & C. Pain (Eds.), The impact of early life trauma on health and disease (pp. 77–87). Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511777042 Hillis, S., Mercy, J., Amobi, A., & Kress, H. (2023). Economic burden of health conditions associated with adverse childhood experiences among U.S. adults. JAMA Network Open, 6(12). https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen Liu, Y., Croft, J. B., Chapman, D. P., et al. (2013). Associations between adverse childhood experiences and health outcomes in adults aged 18–59 years. PLOS ONE, 8(3), e58625. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0058625 Epigenetics & Trauma Baratta, M. V., et al. (2021). Epigenetics of childhood trauma: Long term sequelae and potential for treatment. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 132, 1049–1063. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2021.09.043 Jiang, S., Postovit, L., Cattaneo, A., Binder, E. B., & Aitchison, K. J. (2019). Epigenetic modifications in stress response genes associated with childhood trauma. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10, Article 808. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00808 Provençal, N., & Binder, E. B. (2015). The effects of early life stress on the epigenome: From the womb to adulthood and even before. Experimental Neurology, 268, 10–20. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.expneurol.2014.12.001 Healing Modalities — Research Brom, D., Stokar, Y., Lawi, C., et al. (2017). Somatic experiencing for posttraumatic stress disorder: A randomized controlled outcome study. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 30(3), 304–312. https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.22189 Fratarolli, J. (2006). Experimental disclosure and its moderators: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 132(6), 823–865. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.132.6.823 Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind: A new approach to life's challenges. New Harbinger Publications. https://www.newharbinger.com/9781572248403/the-compassionate-mind/ Justice Resource Institute. (2022). Evaluation of the efficacy of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy for trauma-related symptoms among complexly traumatized adults. ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier: NCT05155930. https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT05155930 Kuhfuß, M., Maldei, T., Hetmanek, A., & Baumann, N. (2021). Somatic experiencing — effectiveness and key factors of a body-oriented trauma therapy. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 12(1), Article 1929023. https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2021.1929023 Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books. https://www.northatlanticbooks.com/shop/in-an-unspoken-voice/ Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the Mindful Self-Compassion Program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923 Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162–166. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1997.tb00403.x Rodenburg, R., Benjamin, A., de Roos, C., Meijer, A. M., & Stams, G. J. (2009). Efficacy of EMDR in children: A meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 29(7), 599–606. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.06.008 Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems model. Sounds True. https://www.soundstrue.com/products/no-bad-parts Shapiro, F. (2017). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press. https://www.guilford.com/books/Eye-Movement-Desensitization-and-Reprocessing/Francine-Shapiro/9781462532766  

Before we can forgive anything, we have to be honest about what actually happened without minimizing, over-spiritualizing, or skipping to a resolution. This week we slow down to affirm this first step in the process: naming the hurt with precision. As it turns out, telling the truth about your wound is the first act of healing.   LINKS:  Current Conversations | Connect | YouTube |  Coming Up TRANSCRIPT: The Word We've Been Mishandling Forgiveness might be the most talked-about and least practiced idea in all of spiritual life. Not because some people are hypocrites (I mean aren't we all a little bit?) but because if we're honest, we've been given almost no real tools for it. Tension point: most of us are carrying something. And most of us have been told– by religion, culture, entertainment, even well-meaning people– to just... let it go. But letting go of something you haven't fully held yet isn't forgiveness. It's just suppression with fancy vocabulary. Brief series preview: over the next six weeks, we're going to do this differently. We're drawing from Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho's book The Book of Forgiving– one of the most honest, rigorous, and compassionate treatments of this subject that I'm aware of. We'll talk about what forgiveness actually is, what it isn't, why it gets weaponized, and what it might mean to actually get free. The Tutus give us a four-step framework for genuine forgiveness. If you're curious about each one of the steps in more detail and want to take the time it takes to really wrestle with that, I'd love to invite you into the Tuesday night book club and Discord server… talk to me after the gathering if you're interested! There's an underlying premise that when hurt happens, there's a cycle of revenge we often get stuck in (marked by the hurt/harm/loss, experiencing pain, choosing to harm, rejecting shared humanity, getting revenge/retaliation/payback, that ultimately leads to some form of violence that creates new or additional harm. What they've provided for us– based on their own experiences of injustice and violence (apartheid, violent deaths, etc.) is what they call The Fourfold Path, that similarly starts with hurt/harm/loss, followed by an intentional choice to heal. And if healing is the choice, then the fourfold path can be traveled:  Telling the Story (today) Naming the Hurt Granting Forgiveness (Recognizing Shared Humanity) Renewing or Releasing the Relationship. You don't have to be at every week to get something meaningful from this. But if you can, come back. This is worth doing slowly. The task we're in today– telling the story– is both simple and challenging: before we can forgive anything, we have to give ourselves space to be honest about what actually happened. Because there are a lot of real, identifiable reasons why we rush past pain and jump straight to resolution. Why We Skip the Hard Part Some of our work today, as we launch this series, is to be honest about why we skip the hard part, and end up missing out on actual forgiveness… For many: religious pressure |  "Jesus said forgive, so I should feel forgiving." The command becomes a performance. We say the words because we're supposed to, not because anything has actually shifted. (Note: forgiveness as a practice you choose vs. a feeling you perform — that distinction matters and we'll return to it.) Toxic positivity/"move on" culture |  American culture is deeply allergic to sitting with pain. We pathologize grief. We celebrate resilience in ways that quietly shame people for still hurting. "Good vibes only" is a spiritual bypass wearing a bumper sticker. Protecting ourselves from further abuse / Not wanting to further upset the person or system that hurt us |  This one deserves weight. Often the pressure to "just forgive" comes from the person or institution that caused harm. The church tells the abuse survivor to forgive the abuser. The family tells the wounded child not to make a scene. This is forgiveness weaponized — and we'll name that plainly throughout this series. The cultural myth of "forgive and forget" |  The Tutus address this directly. You cannot actually forget. And you shouldn't have to. Mpho Tutu writes that the idea of forgetting is not only impossible, it's actually counterproductive — memory is part of how we protect ourselves and stay honest. What happens when we skip to the “end”?? We don't actually move past the hurt. We move it underground. Resentment. Shame. Something that sits in us and ferments. The Tutus describe this as the "fourfold path" — and the first step is not resolution. It's telling the story. You cannot skip to the end. Telling the Story: The First Act of Healing The Tutus write: "The first and most important step in the Fourfold Path is to tell your story." Notice: they didn't say to resolve it… but to tell it. Why does this matter psychologically? There's substantial research behind this. Narrative therapy and trauma-informed psychology both support the idea that giving language to an experience is not just cathartic — it's neurologically significant. When we name something, we move it from the body's alarm system into the part of the brain that can actually process it. (Reference: Bessel van der Kolk, "The Body Keeps the Score" — the body holds what the mind won't name.) But there's a crucial distinction the Tutus make — and it's worth sitting with: RUMINATING on a story and TELLING it are not the same thing. Rumination is the loop. It's replaying the scene, re-feeling the wound, rehearsing what you should have said. It keeps us stuck in a cycle that actually reinforces the pain rather than processing it. Ruminating is like the broken record “That's an old tape, time to take it out of the VCR” Telling the story is different. It has a shape. A beginning, middle, and at least a provisional end. It has a witness. It moves outward rather than circling inward. Research on expressive writing (James Pennebaker, University of Texas) shows that people who write about difficult experiences in a structured way— not just venting, but actually narrating— show measurable improvements in psychological and even physical health. The Tutus frame this in deeply human terms: "When we tell our stories, we reclaim our humanity." The act of speaking what was done to us — rather than simply absorbing it — is how we refuse to let the wound become our whole identity. What Kind of Story Are We Telling? As we think perhaps about our own experiences of hurt, harm, or loss, it's worth asking: what kind of story are we telling? There's a spectrum of harm that's worth naming honestly: Some of what we carry is hurt — disappointment, unmet expectations, misunderstanding, relational friction. Real, worth naming, but perhaps not requiring the full weight of the forgiveness process. Some of what we carry is a genuine wrong — a betrayal, an act of violence, a sustained pattern of harm, an abuse of power. This is different. And treating it the same as ordinary hurt can minimize something that deserves to be named for what it is. The Tutus do not minimize harm. Mpho Tutu lost her husband to violent crime. Desmond Tutu spent his life in proximity to atrocity. This framework was forged in the context of apartheid, genocide, and profound injustice. It is not a self-help framework for minor inconveniences. It takes the weight of real wrong seriously. Part of telling your story is being honest about what actually happened — not inflating it, not minimizing it. Precision in our storytelling is an ACT OF DIGNITY. The Role of a Witness Here's something important: the Tutus don't imagine this as a solo process. Telling the story almost always requires someone to tell it to. What makes a good witness? Not someone who fixes it. Not someone who jumps to advice, or silver linings, or "well, have you thought about their perspective?" A witness is someone who receives your story with enough steadiness that you feel safe to tell it fully. In men's group: THREE people. The witness to receive the story, and also somebody with permission to ask questions about what they noticed in body language, follow up with questions about what's happening in the story teller's body, etc.  This is actually one of the most underrated spiritual gifts a person can offer another: the ministry of staying in the room without flinching. There's a reason confession has existed across almost every spiritual tradition in human history— not as a transaction for the pardon of wrongs, but as the practice of being heard by someone who doesn't run from the truth of what you've lived. Community implication: this is part of why we do this together. Not because church is a place to perform having it together, but because church can be— when we let it— a community of witnesses. People who are trained and willing to hold each other's real stories. (CARE IQ) What Forgiveness is NOT Before we wrap for today, let's clear some ground. The Tutus are direct about this: Forgiveness is not condoning what happened. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. (You can forgive someone and never have a relationship with them again. These are separate acts.) Forgiveness is not necessarily something you do for the other person. And forgiveness is not something you have to feel before you can choose it. Forgiveness is a practice you choose. Not an internal feeling you perform outwardly. We'll build on all of this in the weeks ahead. But naming what it isn't is part of how we clear space for what it actually is. Invitation/PAW Guided prompts: I want to invite you into a few minutes of quiet with a series of prompts. Optional: write it, draw it, sit with it. Hold a stone to represent it…  Think of something you're carrying. You don't have to name it out loud. Just let it come to mind. What actually happened? Try to name it with some precision — not to relive it, but to see it clearly. What did it cost you? Not what it "taught you," not what good came from it — what did it actually cost? Is there a word for what was done? Betrayal. Abandonment. Injustice. Violence. Neglect. Name it if you can. When and if you're ready in the coming days or weeks, think about if you're ready to tell it… to invite a witness in. Today I'm not asking you to forgive anything. I'm just asking you to be honest about what you're carrying. That's it. That's enough for today. Wrapping it Up Desmond Tutu said, "There is no future without forgiveness”... and I tend to agree with him. But we're not there yet. That's where we're going. Today we're just naming the yuck of it all, and naming that telling our story is in itself a critical first step in healing. That takes good courage! Next week, we'll be at Venn Coffee and Brewing to spend some slow, social time in conversation as community…   

Episode 8: The AI Therapist, the Generational Wound, and the Real Medicine The American mental health workforce is on track to be displaced by AI within ten years—and the psychiatric establishment isn't fighting it. They are welcoming it. Backed by venture capital and smoothed by insurance endorsements, AI therapy platforms are the ultimate fulfillment of what the "apparatus" has been building toward for 40 years: a delivery mechanism for psychotherapy that finally removes the unpredictable, unmeasurable human from the room. In Part 8 of this 9-part series, we expose what the AI replacement will actually do to the field of psychology, and why the variables that truly drive healing are the exact ones the industry pretends do not exist. In this episode, we explore: The AI Takeover: The meeting in San Francisco, what is actually being built, and why the psychiatric apparatus embraces the automation of therapy. The Generational Wound: How trauma shifts from the Greatest Generation to Gen Alpha, and the specific therapeutic interventions the "AI generation" is being shaped to need. The Convergent Rediscovery of Depth Psychology: How independent pioneers—including Richard Schwartz (IFS), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing), Bessel van der Kolk, Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory), and David Grand (Brainspotting)—all converged on the exact same picture of how trauma lives in the nervous system. The Dodo Bird Verdict & The Real Active Ingredient: Why 30 years of empirical research points to the therapist's regulated nervous system as the primary driver of successful outcomes—and why the industry ignores this. The Cost of Ignoring Culture: Groundbreaking insights from Tanya Luhrmann, Arthur Kleinman, and WHO data showing why non-Western cultures often see better long-term outcomes for schizophrenia. Beyond the DSM: Breaking down the 8 layers of human suffering, predictive processing, HiTOP, RDoC, and Karl Friston's free energy principle. Why replacing the DSM with dimensional models will still fail if we strip away the human connection. The active variables of psychological work are inherently untrackable. The industry has spent 40 years pretending that only the measurable is real, paving the way for the cold efficiency of artificial intelligence. But the real healing continues anyway, transmitted hand-to-hand in the rooms where it has always lived. About the Host Joel Blackstock is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW), Clinical Supervisor, and the Clinical Director of Taproot Therapy Collective in Hoover, Alabama. He specializes in Brainspotting, Emotional Transformation Therapy, qEEG neurofeedback, Jungian psych, and somatic/depth approaches to trauma.

You can stack every supplement, peptide, and biohack out there. It still won't fix the one thing wearing most of us down faster than any of it: unresolved stress and trauma.Dr. Bhargav Patel has spent his career studying how that wear and tear shows up in the brain, the body, and the lifespan, none of which a standard lab test will flag. He's one of the few doctors who treat the mind as part of the body rather than something separate from it.He walks us through the framework behind trauma recovery, why SSRIs work for reasons most people get wrong, and how processing trauma can hit 75% recovery rates. AI in healthcare comes up, too, along with why hallucinations are baked into every LLM and just how wide the mental health access gap is in the U.S."Supplements aren't the core of your longevity regimen. They're the last 5 to 10%. The 90% is the core health things we all know we should do: exercise, sleep, and eat well." ~ Dr. Bhargav PatelSupport the show and get 50% off MCT oil with free shipping—just leave us a review on iTunes and Spotify and let us know! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/live-beyond-the-norms/id1714886566Resources MentionedThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313183/the-body-keeps-the-score-by-bessel-van-der-kolk-md/The Hypomanic Edge by John D. Gartner: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Hypomanic-Edge/John-D-Gartner/9780743243452MyPEAK Supplements: https://www.mypeaksupplements.com/ About Bhargav PatelDr. Bhargav Patel is a board-certified psychiatrist and NIMH-funded Child and Adolescent Psychiatry research fellow at Brown University. He's the founder of Sage Psychiatric Professionals and serves as Founding Medical Director and Director of AI Decision Support at Sully.ai. He's also the Co-Founder, CEO, and Chief Scientific Officer of MyPEAK. His upcoming book, Trauma Transformed, looks at how the brain actually heals from trauma, and what most of us get wrong about the process.Connect with Bhargav PatelWebsite: https://www.bhargavpatelmd.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bhargav-b-patel Newsletter: https://bhargavpatelmd.beehiiv.com/ Connect with Chris Burres Website: https://www.myvitalc.com/ Website: http://www.livebeyondthenorms.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisburres/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@myvitalc LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisburresDisclaimerThe content shared in this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice of any kind, nor does it include any specific claims or guarantees. The views expressed are based on personal experiences, research, and individual perspectives, and are meant to inspire and inform listeners on topics related to wellness, lifestyle, and personal development.

Episode SummaryIn this deeply compassionate episode of the Finding God Podcast, Keana explores what it truly means to rebuild your relationship with God after experiencing trauma. Whether your trauma came from childhood, relationships, church environments, or spiritual abuse, this episode offers a gentle, grounded path back to connection with God — without pressure, guilt, or shame.Keana breaks down how trauma affects your view of God, your ability to trust, and your spiritual practices. Drawing from leading trauma psychologists like Dr. Judith Herman, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Stephen Porges, and spiritual trauma expert Dr. Diane Langberg, she explains why trauma survivors often struggle with prayer, worship, Scripture, and spiritual identity — and why these struggles are normal.You'll also hear powerful biblical examples of people who experienced trauma — Elijah, Hagar, David, Job, and Mary Magdalene — and how God met each of them with gentleness, presence, and restoration.Finally, Keana shares trauma‑informed healing techniques to help you slowly and safely reconnect with God at your own pace.What We Cover in This Episode✨ Recap of Last Week's EpisodeHow to support survivors of childhood sexual abuseWhy spiritual bypassing harms survivorsInsights from Dr. Bessel van der Kolk & Dr. Diane LangbergHow trauma impacts safety, identity, and connection✨ How Trauma Affects Your Relationship With GodTrauma's impact on your image of GodWhy prayer, worship, or Scripture may feel triggeringHow the nervous system interprets spiritual environmentsCommon thoughts trauma survivors experience about God✨ What Trauma‑Affected Faith Looks Like in Real LifeFeeling numb during prayerAvoiding church or spiritual spacesFeeling guilty for not “feeling close to God”Internal conflict between wanting God and fearing God✨ Biblical Examples of Trauma & ReconnectionElijah's burnout and God's gentle careHagar's abandonment and God's presenceDavid's emotional honestyJob's questioning and God's responseMary Magdalene's restoration✨ Healing Techniques for Rebuilding Your Relationship With GodGentle spiritual practicesSomatic groundingReframing your image of GodNaming your truth without shameFinding safe spiritual communityTrauma‑informed therapy optionsKey TakeawaysTrauma can distort your view of God — but it does not change God's heart toward you.Your spiritual struggles are trauma responses, not spiritual failures.God meets you with gentleness, not pressure.Rebuilding your relationship with God is possible — slowly, safely, and at your own pace.Submit Your QuestionsHave a question or topic you want covered on the podcast? Email Keana at keanawmitchell@gmail.com.Share This EpisodeIf this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who may be healing from trauma and longing to reconnect with God.

Traumas de infância não precisam ser dramáticos para deixar marcas profundas. A necessidade de agradar todo mundo, o medo de abandono nos relacionamentos, o perfeccionismo extremo, a sensação de nunca ser suficiente, a dificuldade de mostrar emoções — tudo isso pode ter raiz em experiências que você viveu muito antes de ter palavras para descrevê-las.Neste episódio, Thais Galassi explora como a psicologia do desenvolvimento e a neurociência explicam por que mulheres adultas continuam reagindo a padrões emocionais criados na infância — e o que é possível fazer a partir de hoje para interromper esse ciclo.Você vai entender: por que seu cérebro ainda age em modo de sobrevivência | como o trauma molda relacionamentos e autoestima | o que a ciência diz sobre apego ansioso, fawn response e perfeccionismo | e uma técnica prática validada pela neurociência para começar a se libertar desses padrões agora.Baseado em estudos do JAMA Pediatrics, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology e nas obras de Bessel van der Kolk, Pete Walker e Kristin Neff.Se você já sentiu que nunca é suficiente, que tem medo de perder as pessoas que ama ou que precisa agradar todo mundo pra ser amada — esse episódio foi feito pra você.00:00 — A descoberta de Harvard que vai mudar como você se vê02:30 — Como o cérebro grava traumas antes de você ter palavras06:00 — A menina que aprendeu que precisava ser boa para ser amada10:30 — Fawn response: a raiz da necessidade de agradar14:00 — Medo de abandono e apego ansioso nos relacionamentos19:00 — Perfeccionismo: quando a ferida usa a produtividade como disfarce24:00 — A mulher forte que chora sozinha no chuveiro28:30 — Técnica STOP: como interromper padrões automáticos hoje33:00 — Dor não tem ranking — o começo da cura

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[Content Warning]: This episode contains graphic descriptions of intrafamilial abuse including: Domestic Violence, Substance Abuse, Physical abuse, Molestation and Attempted Rape of a Child. There is also a brief mention of suicidal ideation. Today, Jan is joined by Lee Cooper, who courageously discusses the sexual violence he experienced at the hands of his father, not revealing his secret until 20 years later during the Covid Pandemic.  Through his healing, Lee has created a photography collective called “Places Nowhere”, which expresses the dissociation one experiences during and after being sexually assaulted. Lee and Jan converse about Lee's passion for photography and how it became a form of escape and mindfulness during his healing process. Lee speaks openly about the bullying and sexual abuse he endured , the abusive relationship with his father, and the traumatic incidents he both witnessed and experienced.. He highlights the importance of safe spaces and the vital role his grandmother played by offering her love and support. Lee discloses his abuse to his ex-girlfriend and reflects on the impact of reading 'The Body Keeps the Score' by Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk which became a catalyst for his healing.  He shares the challenges he faced during the pandemic and the strain it put on his relationships. Lee also talks about reporting his father to the police and the personal consequences that followed. He reflects on the deep grief and pain he experienced and the impact it had on his relationship with his mother. Lee explores the process of reframing his relationship with his family and the desire for a better connection with his mother. . Lee shares his journey of self-awareness and the role of mindfulness in recognizing triggers and maintaining healthy habits. In closing they emphasize the need for peer-to-peer support and the power of sharing stories to raise awareness and support survivors.Check out Lee's photography and events:Instagram: @coopscwPlacesNowhere.comMentioned Resources:Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. GibsonThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der KolkSam Fender : Spit Of YouIf you or someone you know is experiencing emotional distress or suicidal ideation, please access the resources below:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Sexual Assault Hotline  (RAINN) : 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)National Alliance for Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264Subscribe / Support / Contact:

74% of American adults are overweight. 42% are clinically obese. And almost every one of them can list the foods they shouldn't be eating. So, what's actually going on?That's what started bugging Matty Lansdown when he was working as a cancer researcher and noticed something weird: 80% of the patients walking through the door were overweight, and every one of them already knew their diet was a mess. Knowing clearly wasn't the problem, but something was. That something pulled him out of the lab and into a completely different career.Today, Matty unpacks why diets keep failing people over and over, how the stuff that happens to us as kids shows up later as the food we can't put down, and why there's a little rebel inside all of us that will burn down anything good unless we give it somewhere to play. "Food is often used as a distraction or a suppressant, to be able to avoid feeling feelings that are heavy that we don't know what to do with." ~ Matty LansdownSupport the show and get 50% off MCT oil with free shipping—just leave us a review on iTunes and Spotify and let us know! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/live-beyond-the-norms/id1714886566Resources MentionedThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313183/the-body-keeps-the-score-by-bessel-van-der-kolk-md/ The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks: https://www.amazon.com/Big-Leap-Conquer-Hidden-Level/dp/0061735361About Matty LansdownMatty Lansdown is a scientist, nutritionist, and emotional and binge eating coach with over 10 years of experience. After working in a nutritional epigenetics lab servicing elite athletes and spending years on cancer research teams, he left corporate science to focus on the real driver behind weight loss: emotional patterns and mindset. He's worked with 200+ clients and hosts The Real Weight Loss Coach podcast.Connect with Matty LansdownWebsite: https://mattylansdown.com/ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-real-weight-loss-coach/id1450212088 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.real.weight.loss.coach/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@therealweightlosscoach Connect with Chris Burres Website: https://www.myvitalc.com/ Website: http://www.livebeyondthenorms.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisburres/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@myvitalc LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisburresDisclaimerThe content shared in this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice of any kind, nor does it include any specific claims or guarantees. The views expressed are based on personal experiences, research, and individual perspectives, and are meant to inspire and inform listeners on topics related to wellness, lifestyle, and personal development.

How long can you carry something before it breaks you?And what do you do when God feels… silent?In this teaching on Psalm 13, John Ortberg walks us through one of the most honest prayers in Scripture: “How long, O Lord?”When pain lingers, when answers don't come, and when God feels distant, we face a choice. We can grumble—turning inward in bitterness and withdrawal—or we can groan—bringing our pain honestly before God.This Psalm shows us how to lament in a way that leads somewhere. Not by denying pain, but by bringing it fully into God's presence.If you're carrying something heavy right now—a relationship, anxiety, loss, or a long unanswered prayer—this teaching will help you turn that pain into prayer.

In today's episode of The Worth Loving Podcast, Keana explores one of the most confusing and emotionally loaded questions people face after heartbreak or betrayal: How do you know if you're truly ready to date again?Using insights from leading psychologists like Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Judith Herman, Dr. Gary Lewandowski, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, and Dr. Peter Levine, Keana breaks down what emotional readiness really looks like — and what it doesn't.This episode helps listeners understand the difference between wanting connection and wanting distraction, how the body signals readiness, and why healing must come before new relationships. Keana also shares practical questions to help listeners evaluate their emotional capacity and readiness with honesty and compassion.This Episode Covers:✨ Recap of Last Week's EpisodeA brief review of last week's conversation on How to Heal From an Affair, including the emotional stages of healing, rebuilding trust within yourself, and reclaiming your identity after betrayal.✨ What “Readiness” Actually MeansKeana explains emotional readiness through the lens of relationship psychology and trauma research — including emotional regulation, secure attachment behaviors, and reclaiming personal agency.✨ Signs You Are Ready to Date AgainLearn the key indicators of readiness, such as emotional stability, clarity about your needs, groundedness, and the ability to communicate boundaries.✨ Signs You're Not Ready YetKeana outlines the red flags that signal you need more healing time — including emotional entanglement with an ex, avoidance behaviors, numbness, survival mode, and lack of clarity.✨ How Long Should You Wait? (Research‑Backed)A breakdown of what relationship science says about timelines for healing after breakups, betrayal, and emotional trauma.✨ How Your Body Tells You the TruthSomatic cues from Dr. Peter Levine's work that reveal whether your nervous system feels safe enough for dating — or not.✨ The Healing Work That Must Come FirstEmotional clarity, nervous system regulation, identity rebuilding, boundary strengthening, and relearning trust.✨ Practical Self‑Reflection QuestionsA set of grounding questions to help listeners assess their emotional readiness with honesty and compassion.Key TakeawaysReadiness is not about time — it's about emotional capacity.Your body often knows the truth before your mind does.Healing is not linear, and there's no shame in needing more time.You deserve to date from a place of clarity, not loneliness.Trusting yourself is the foundation of choosing healthy relationships.

Self-sabotage is not a willpower problem. It is the most loyal thing you have ever done, and it was installed in childhood. This video names the actual mechanism every other framework misses.If you have read every limiting belief book, tried every inner critic worksheet, and still keep destroying the relationship, the career, the body, or the bank account the second things start working, this video is going to make sense of it differently than anyone else has explained it. You will see the exact chain that turns a moment of success into the urge to burn it down, and you will see why willpower has never been able to touch this thing.You will get the full mechanism behind the Worst Day Cycle™, the Authentic Self Cycle™, and the Emotional Authenticity Method™. You will see the three internal voices that fight for the microphone every time you get triggered. You will hear why nobody on the planet is actually afraid of failure, and why what you call self-sabotage is really the survival persona panicking at the edge of success. And you will get the six-step somatic and emotional process that interrupts the loop in real time and rewires the blueprint underneath it.Self-sabotage is the collision between the Authentic Self and the shame-based survival persona. The survival persona was built in childhood to maintain attachment with caregivers who could not see who you actually were. When the adult begins to succeed, the survival persona reads success as separation from the family system and pulls the person back into the Worst Day Cycle™ to preserve the only identity that ever felt safe.The reason most people stay stuck is not lack of insight. It is that the brain and body cannot tell the difference between fear and excitement. The chemical signature is identical. When success approaches, the nervous system reads the surge of excitement as danger and pulls the emergency brake. Bessel van der Kolk and the broader repetition compulsion research have pointed at this for decades, but the culture turned it into a slogan instead of a doorway.The Emotional Authenticity Method™ is a six-step process that interrupts the sabotage impulse and rewires the emotional blueprint at the source. Step one is somatic down regulation through hearing. Step two is emotional granularity. Step three is somatic location. Step four is the earliest memory. Step five is the identity question of who you would be without this feeling. Step six is Feelization, the practice of building a new emotional chemical addiction to replace the old one.00:00 — Why Every Self-Help Book Lied About Self-Sabotage01:15 — The Moment You Watch Yourself Do It03:00 — Kenny's Marathon, Hockey, and the Island05:30 — The Childhood Power Reclamation You Never Saw08:00 — The Worst Day Cycle™ Inside the Sabotage Loop10:30 — Why Nobody Is Actually Afraid to Fail13:00 — The Collision Between Authentic Self and Survival Persona15:30 — The Three Voices Fighting for the Microphone17:30 — The Six-Step Emotional Authenticity Method™ in Real Time20:30 — The File Cabinet Reach22:00 — Why Limiting Belief Frameworks Cannot Touch This

Here's a question most men never ask themselves until it's too late: If you found out today you had six months to live what would you regret?Turns out, the answer is almost entirely predictable. And preventable. Researchers have been interviewing men in hospice care, in their 70s and 80s, men who built impressive careers and full lives — and the same ten regrets show up over and over, regardless of income, culture, or zip code.Which means two things: you're not uniquely screwed up. And these regrets can be avoided.In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down the ten most common regrets men report later in life, what the research actually says about how regret works (hint: the things you didn't do hurt worse than the things you did), and the single pattern underneath all of it that most men never see until it's too late.You'll hear about the attorney who showed up to every recital and missed his daughter's entire childhood. The project manager who retired fully funded and spent eight months in an empty fog. The guy who spent 25 years saying he'd walk the Camino de Santiago — until his knees made the decision for him.This isn't a shame spiral. This is a heads-up. A roadmap of the terrain most men walk blindly into — and a set of tools for navigating it differently while there's still time.In this episode: Why inaction regrets are more painful and persistent than action regrets (Northwestern research) The "impact bias" — why men massively underestimate how bad future regret will feel The top 10 regrets men report most consistently as they age The Inner Board Meeting model — and why most men have the wrong executive running their life A one-week assignment that actually moves the needle (no journaling required) The launch of Proximity Coaching — AI coaches built on 30 years of real psychology, available 24/7 at proximitycoaching.com If you've had any version of the thought "I'll get to that later" — this episode is for you.Try Proximity Coaching free: proximitycoaching.com Email John: John@guidetoself.com Instagram: @theevolvedcavemanResearch cited: Roese & Summerville (2005); Gilovich & Medvec (1995); Carstensen (2006); van der Kolk (2014); Levenson, Carstensen & Gottman (1994)Want Fewer Regrets and Greater Connection? Start Here…

Unlocking Inner Safety and Embodiment: A Deep Dive with Narayani Gaia and Alison Cross Prepare to be blown away by a raw, honest conversation that cuts through the noise as Narayani and Alison Cross talk about the lifeline of safety, self-worth, and embodied healing in a world that often feels unsafe.  Alison  shares her profound insights on trauma, culture, and reclaiming our power to create a life rooted in genuine safety, trust, and authenticity. This isn't just talk—it's a call to ignite your inner fire and step into your full potential.   In this episode: The core link between safety, self-worth, and emotional resilience How childhood experiences shape our nervous system and beliefs about safety The collective impact of generational trauma on modern cultures and personal healing Practical tools like grounding and the Safe and Sound Protocol to regulate your nervous system The importance of agency, micro-consent, and sovereignty in healing and relationships so. much.. more....!!! esources & Links: Safe and Sound Protocol – Learn about this gentle EEG-based music therapy that soothes your vagus nerve The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk – Rediscover how trauma resides in the body Embodied Recovery Method by Paula Scatalone and Rachel Lewis Marlowe – Break free from disembodiment and reconnect with your true self Understanding Polyvagal Theory – Reclaim your nervous system's natural rhythm Connect with Alison Cross: Website Work with Narayani Are you ready to turn your wounds into your greatest work? Awakening is not escaping the body. It is inhabiting it. ✨ Awakening Map Course www.Narayanigaia.com/course ✨ Start Meditating Now – 3 Day Mini Course https://www.awakenedlifeschool.com/meditate-now-3-day-mini-course ✨ Reach out to Narayani www.Narayanigaia.com/contact ✨ Awakening Map Book www.Narayanigaia.com/book/  

This week's episode is one of the most important and tender conversations we've ever had on the Finding God Podcast. We're talking about how to support survivors of child sexual abuse in the church with honesty, compassion, and a trauma‑informed, faith‑centered lens.This episode is for survivors, parents, church leaders, and anyone who wants to help create safer, healthier, more accountable faith communities. We explore the emotional, psychological, and spiritual impact of abuse, how to respond when a child discloses, and what true support looks like in the eyes of God.✨ Episode OverviewIn this episode, Keana breaks down:The long‑term effects of child sexual abuseHow abuse in the church creates “double trauma”The A.R.E.S. framework (Adverse Religious Experiences Scale) created by Dr. Laura Anderson and Kyle J. HowardHow ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) impact a child's health, relationships, and spiritual developmentWhat survivors need most from parents, churches, and communitiesHow to support healing on both a personal and spiritual levelWhat to do when a child discloses abuseHow to make a report and protect the child moving forwardThis episode is gentle, non‑graphic, and deeply validating.

In today's episode, we're having one of the most tender and necessary conversations we've ever had on the podcast. If you're navigating the aftermath of an affair whether emotional, physical, or somewhere in between this episode is a safe place for you to land. We're talking about what healing looks like, what leading psychologists say about betrayal trauma, and how to move forward with clarity, compassion, and emotional grounding.✨ Episode OverviewHealing after an affair is not simple. It's not linear. And it's not something you “just get over.” In this episode, Keana walks you through the five stages of healing, how betrayal impacts your mind and body, and what it looks like to rebuild your life whether you choose to stay or go.This episode blends trauma‑informed insight, psychological research, and gentle, practical tools to help you reconnect with yourself and begin the slow, steady process of becoming whole again.

What we are obsessed with! We are OBSESSED with all things self-care and the wonderful products at COZY EARTH- that include the best bed sheets ever (JULIE IS OBSESSED) and the warmest, most indulgent robes (MIKA IS OBSESSED). Visit their website http://www.cozyearth.com use the code OBSESSED, and save 20%. — — — In this episode of the Get Obsessed podcast, Silvia Araya joins hosts Julie Lokun and Mika Altidor in a deeply personal and insightful conversation where numerology, anxiety, and panic attacks intersect, revealing how emotional patterns, sensitivity, and lived experiences shape the way we respond to the world. As a trauma-informed practitioner and numerologist, Silvia shares how decoding these patterns can open the door to healing and self-understanding. This conversation moves beyond surface-level explanations of anxiety, uncovering how trauma, emotional triggers, and sensitivity influence the nervous system and daily behaviors. Silvia explains how tendencies like overthinking and control or rigidity are not flaws but learned responses that can be softened through awareness and nervous system regulation. By reframing panic attacks as signals rather than threats, she offers a grounded and compassionate path toward healing and long-term emotional balance. In this episode, we discuss: How numerology reveals patterns in sensitivity and emotional triggers that influence anxiety The connection between sensitivity and the onset of anxiety and panic attacks Understanding numerology as both a scientific and intuitive tool for self-discovery How numerology provides clarity and helps reduce overthinking by making patterns visible The role of nervous system regulation in managing anxiety and preventing panic responses How control or rigidity and overthinking contribute to anxiety when patterns become unbalanced Reframing panic attacks as non-dangerous experiences and part of a deeper healing process ABOUT THE GUEST Silvia Araya is a trauma-informed practitioner, numerologist, and Internal Family Systems practitioner who helps individuals understand and heal the root causes of anxiety and panic attacks. Her work is deeply shaped by her own journey of overcoming debilitating anxiety, which once limited her daily life. Through years of therapy, self-discovery, and holistic practices, she discovered that unresolved trauma often sits at the core of these experiences. She integrates numerology with trauma-informed care and nervous system awareness to help clients uncover emotional patterns, reduce overthinking, and create lasting change. Today, Silvia guides individuals toward greater self-understanding, emotional balance, and a deeper sense of inner safety.   MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: (Book) The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk - https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748 CONNECT WITH SILVIA ARAYA: Website: https://silviaaraya.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/silvia.araya.psy LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/silviafischerpmpcsm/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/silvia_araya_psy Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@silviaaraya.com X (Twitter): https://x.com/TrustAndNoPanic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@silviaaraya Pinterest: https://cl.pinterest.com/silviaaraya/ ABOUT GET OBSESSED Website: www.getobsessedpodcast.com Be a Guest! http://www.getobsessedguest.com Partner With US! http://www.getobsessedpod.com The Get Obsessed podcast is dedicated to exploring the passions, mindsets, and habits that drive high performers. We believe that what you obsess over defines your future. LISTEN, RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE - Get Obsessed : With Living Your Best Life - Podcast - Apple Podcasts Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Milou van der Kolk is zedenrechercheur in het team Seksuele Misdrijven van de politie Rotterdam. Met dat team spoorde zij de 22-jarige hoofdverdachte op van een grote sextortionzaak die deze maand startte. Ze is de tweede gast in een reeks interviews deze week met mensen die ons zijn opgevallen in het nieuws. Sextortion is online afpersing met naaktbeelden en het kan gruwelijke vormen aannemen. Het aantal zaken neemt volgens betrokken instanties in schrikbarend tempo toe, ook internationaal.  Milou van der Kolk vertelt in de podcast hoe zij sextortion-beelden bekijkt en analyseert om zowel daders als slachtoffers op te sporen. 'We merken dat de beelden steeds grover en gewelddadiger worden,' zegt ze. En dat gaat ook rechercheurs niet in de koude kleren zitten.  Wil je een melding maken over sextortion, dan kan dat hier: www.politie.nl/help2tell  Reageren? Mail dedag@nos.nl Redactie: Max Smedes en Lisa Konings

This episode was sponsored by Cardiff    LightSpeed VT: https://www.lightspeedvt.com/ Dropping Bombs Podcast: https://www.droppingbombs.com/ Today's Dropping Bombs episode features Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez, a Marine combat veteran turned entrepreneur and mental health advocate who went from homelessness to building a thriving company and coaching leaders across the country.   Sergeant Q breaks down the neuroscience of unhealed trauma, how it silently destroys relationships and success, and the simple daily habits that actually rewire your brain for resilience. He also gets into the raw personal story that changed everything for him.   If you've ever felt stuck, reactive, or like you're running on empty — this one's for you. The tools are simpler than you think, and someone in your life needs this conversation as much as you do.  

In today's episode of The Worth Loving Podcast, we explore what it truly means to date with confidence after experiencing emotional abuse. Healing from emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or chronic invalidation changes the way you see yourself, your relationships, and your ability to trust. Dating again can feel overwhelming, but it can also be a powerful opportunity to reconnect with your intuition, your boundaries, and your worth.Drawing from the work of leading trauma and attachment researchers like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Judith Herman, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. Kristin Neff, this episode breaks down why dating feels different after emotional abuse and how to rebuild the internal safety you need to choose healthy love.We'll talk about rebuilding self‑trust, recognizing red and green flags, moving at your own pace, and honoring your emotional needs without guilt. You'll also receive reflective questions to help you deepen your healing and approach dating with clarity and confidence.And don't forget be on the lookout for a special mini‑drop from our podcast artist Emory Rose, coming soon to all streaming platforms.In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why dating after emotional abuse feels overwhelming — and why that's normalHow trauma impacts your nervous system, intuition, and sense of safetyWhat rebuilding self‑trust looks like in practical, everyday waysHow to date at a pace that honors your healingThe difference between healthy attention and love bombingRed flags to watch for in early datingGreen flags that signal emotional safety and maturityHow to listen to your body and intuition while datingReflective questions to help you date with confidenceReflective Questions from Today's Episode:What does emotional safety feel like in my body?What are my non‑negotiables in dating?What red flags have I ignored in the past, and why?What green flags do I want to pay more attention to?How can I honor my pace in dating?What boundaries do I want to set early?How can I practice self‑trust this week?Coaching Program MentionedIf you're ready to go deeper in your healing journey, my 12‑week trauma‑informed coaching program You Are Worth Loving™ is designed to help you rebuild self‑trust, break unhealthy patterns, and choose relationships that feel safe and aligned. Enrollment opens soon — stay tuned.Submit Your Questions for Thursday's Q&A EpisodeEvery Thursday, we release a Q&A episode shaped entirely by your questions. If you'd like your question featured, email me at:

Send us Fan Mail"I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in the supermarket, the car park, or your own kitchen. This episode is the question nobody has asked you."I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in your own kitchen at 9.47 on a Wednesday morning, holding a cup of tea you don't remember making. You walk upstairs to find something and forget what you came for. Something in you has been quietly slipping for a while.You're intelligent. You're capable. You've read the books. You've done the therapy. Maybe the coaching. Maybe the courses, the retreats, the breath work, the parts work. You know your patterns. And you still cannot make yourself move forward the way you used to.You're probably wondering what is wrong with you. But that's the wrong question.In this first episode of the show's new era, Dr. Amen Kaur introduces the question that actually matters. Not "what is wrong with me" but "who is in charge of my life right now?" Because the Self at the centre of your intelligence system has stepped back from the seat, and your thinking mind has stepped in to cover. It cannot. Not because you are not clever enough. Because thinking was never designed to run the whole system.Drawing on the work of Manos Tsakiris at Royal Holloway, Antonio Damasio's research on the Self as an integrator, Sarah Garfinkel and Hugo Critchley on interoception, Eckhart Tolle, and Bessel van der Kolk's neuroimaging findings on trauma and the brain, this episode names what has been happening under the surface and offers one small practice you can carry for the week.THIS EPISODE COVERS:Why the woman you used to be feels out of reach, and what is actually happening underneathThe Self as an integrator, not a place in the brain (Tsakiris, Damasio)The sun and the rays: a new way to understand your intelligence systemThe Einstein principle applied to your overthinkingThe part of you currently in charge is not your enemy. It is scared.One question to carry with you every day for the next seven daysThis is the first episode of the show's new era. If you have been listening for a while, welcome back. If you are new, welcome. What we do here is return, not reinvention.The full Human Intelligence Framework lives inside the free masterclass at amenkaur.com/masterclass. It is where starting over actually startsFree Masterclass: The Human Intelligence FrameworkA walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclassAbout Dr Amen KaurStarting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.Learn more at amenkaur.com/aboutStay CloseInstagram: @dramenkaurTikTok: @dramenkaurYouTube: @dramenkaurDisclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

Send us Fan MailYou didn't do anything wrong. Your brain just got there first.That's the thing about automatic negative thoughts: they don't wait for evidence. They don't ask permission. Something happens, and before you've had a single conscious thought about it, your brain has already decided: of course this went sideways. Nobody ever comes through. Something is wrong with me. And then you feel bad about feeling bad, which is its own whole thing.In this episode, Sami and Angela wrap up an accidental three-part series on how your brain actually works, following conversations on metacognition and cognitive distortions, by landing on the concept that ties it all together. We dig into:What an automatic negative thought actually is (and why it's not the same as pessimism)Where these thoughts come from and what seeds themWhy "just choose a better thought" is not as easy as it sounds (and what to do instead)How to recognize when your brain is jumping to a conclusion that isn't yoursWhat it actually looks like to interrupt the pattern without judging yourself for having itAngela breaks down how these thoughts grow from deeper core beliefs, the weed whacker vs. the root analogy is going to stick with you. Sami brings her factory metaphor to explain why the machine itself shapes the output, and why understanding that changes everything. They also talk about the spotlight effect, a story about a speaker who got a standing ovation and still thought she bombed, and the one thing that actually interrupts an automatic negative thought in someone else.You're going to walk away with language for something you've probably experienced a hundred times and never had a name for. That's half the work. Once you can call it out, you're already ahead of it.Press play. Your brain is not broken. It's just been running the same loop for a while, and this episode is a good place to start changing that.Mentioned in this episode:The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk - besselvanderkolk.comAtlas of the Heart by Brene Brown - brenebrown.com/book/atlas-of-the-heartBe Freaking Awesome by Angela Belford - bfreakingawesome.comLoving What Is by Byron Katie (The Work / four questions) -- thework.comThe 3rd Annual Family Business Forum is May 19 in Springdale, AR. A day built for family-owned businesses who want to communicate better, lead stronger, and actually enjoy working together. Sessions on communication, AI, and high performance, plus a panel, awards, and networking. Early bird tickets are $75 through April 30, then the price goes up. Grab your spot before May 1 at familybusinessnow.com. Support the showSign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.

In this week's episode of the Finding God Podcast, Keana W. Mitchell breaks down one of the most misunderstood and overlooked aspects of child protection in faith communities: grooming and manipulation tactics. These behaviors are often subtle, strategic, and wrapped in kindness, spirituality, or trust — which is exactly why they go unnoticed until harm has already occurred.Building on last week's episode about preventing child sexual abuse in the church, Keana explains what grooming is, what manipulation is, how they differ, and how they work together to create access, secrecy, and control. Drawing from leading psychologists such as Dr. Anna Salter, Dr. David Finkelhor, Dr. Diane Langberg, and Dr. Wade Mullen, this episode offers a clear, research‑based understanding of how predators operate — especially in faith‑based environments.Listeners will learn how to recognize red flags, how adults can be groomed without realizing it, what grooming and manipulation look like inside a church setting, and how these tactics impact victims emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Keana also provides guidance on how to respond if a child discloses abuse or if you suspect something is happening — with a strong emphasis on following state law and reporting immediately to the proper legal authorities.This episode is gentle, educational, and empowering — offering clarity without fear and equipping believers to protect children with wisdom, courage, and compassion.✨ In This Episode, We Cover:

This week's episode takes us into a part of the healing conversation that doesn't get talked about nearly enough. I sit down with Sara Perry, founder of Haven Space (https://havenspacecoaching.com/) in Houston, Texas, to explore what it means to approach trauma and intimacy through the body—not just the mind. Sara is a somatic sex educator and sexological bodyworker who works with individuals and couples to reconnect with themselves after experiences of disconnection, shame, or trauma. Her work blends coaching, somatic practices, and body awareness to help people understand how their nervous system responds to stress, touch, and intimacy. It's grounded in consent, safety, and the understanding that the body holds onto more than we often realize. The body keeps the score…remember? (Thanks, Bessel van der Kolk!) What stood out in this conversation is how much this aligns with what we already know about trauma. Survivors don't just carry memories—they carry physical responses, tension, and patterns that don't always make sense until you start looking at the body as part of the story. Sara breaks that down in a way that's accessible without oversimplifying it. This episode might stretch your perspective a bit, and that's okay. If nothing else, I hope it opens the door to thinking about healing in a broader way—and reminds you that there is more than one path forward. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://havenspacecoaching.com https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

Irrigation has long been a cornerstone of southern Alberta agriculture, but tighter water supplies and rising complexity are reshaping how producers and districts manage every drop. In this episode of the Final Mile podcast, Shaun Haney speaks with John Kolk of Kolk Farms and Chris Gallagher, general manager of the Lethbridge Northern Irrigation District (LNID),... Read More

What happens when the life you've built—your identity, your direction, your sense of control—changes in an instant?In this conversation, Reino Gevers speaks with Dr. Tom Dutta, known as The Quiet Warrior, about a journey that moves far beyond success, resilience, or recovery.After rising to the highest levels of corporate leadership as a CEO, Tom came to a quiet but decisive realisation: leadership is not about authority, but authenticity—and the courage to lift others.Then everything changed.A severe brain injury disrupted not only his career, but his sense of self—forcing him into a far deeper confrontation with identity, limitation, and what truly endures when life no longer follows the expected path.What emerges from this conversation is not a story of overcoming in the conventional sense, but something more demanding:What remains when control is taken awayHow identity is reshaped through lossWhy resilience alone is not enough without inner transformationThrough his work—including best-selling books, The Quiet Warrior Podcast, and doctoral research into mental health and generational trauma—Tom continues to explore what it means to live with depth, awareness, and purpose after everything has been tested.This episode speaks directly to anyone who has faced a moment where life no longer fits the story they were living—and is searching for what comes next.#Resilience #MentalHealth #Leadership #PersonalGrowth#SelfDevelopment #OvercomingAdversity #LifeLessons #WhenFaithStopsWorking #LivingToBe #ReinoGevers #TomDutta #thequietwarriorMore Information: Public work at www.kreat.cahttps://www.thequietrevelationinstitute.org/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomdutta/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/thequietwarrioreats/Podcast:  The Quiet Warrior Show YouTube: @tomduttaAdverse Childhood Experience Test for AdultsLink: ACE TestDefining TraumaFrom the Greek word for wound — trauma is not just a terrible thing that happens to you. It is what happens inside you when an experience is so painful or frighteningthat your mind and body cannot make sense of it at the time.It gets stored in your body and your feelings, not just your memories. It is the pain left behind whensomething bad happened that was too big to deal with aloneIt can be passed from parent to child, through behaviour, silence, and the way families treat each other —often without anyone realising it.Literature:Book: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk 

Are you managing your life rather than living it? In this episode, Augustine sits down with Kristen Brickl, an intuitive licensed professional counselor, to explore the transformative journey of women in midlife. They dive deep into the "Good Girl" arc—how childhood conditioning leads to adult over-functioning, people-pleasing, and eventually, physical and emotional burnout.Specifically tailored for midwives and high-pressure caregivers, this conversation explores why "self-care" isn't just a luxury but a professional necessity. Kristen shares how our nervous systems impact not just our own health, but the way we co-regulate with the families we serve. If you've ever felt like you're "giving from an empty cup" or losing your passion for your calling, this episode is a permission slip to stop, breathe, and reclaim your joy.Key HighlightsThe Evolution of the Martyr: How the "Good Girl" of childhood becomes the "People Pleaser" of young adulthood and the "Over-functioning Martyr" of midlife.The Power of the Whisper: Recognizing the subtle signs of burnout before they turn into a "cosmic two-by-four" (health crises or autoimmune issues).The "Pause" Practice: A simple, transformative tool to reset your nervous system in the middle of a chaotic day or between client calls.Reparenting Your Inner Mean Girl: Shifting your internal monologue from criticism to the "loving bosom" of the Wise Adult.The Liminal Space: Navigating the "cringey" discomfort of transition—that moment in the birth canal of your own life where you can't go back, but can't yet see the way forward.Channel vs. Source: A revolutionary mindset shift for caregivers: how to be a channel for service without becoming the depleted source of it.Perinatal Psychology & Attachment: How a caregiver's distracted or overwhelmed state affects a newborn's ability to form secure attachments.Resources MentionedBook: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.Course: Boundaries for BirthworkersConnect with Kristen BricklWebsite: KristenBrickl.comInstagram: @kristen.bricklWant more? Join our Skool community to access 90% of our CEU courses and more!MWC Spring Break Sale! Course Bundles, Midwifery Equipment and more - upto 80% off!

What if your past isn't just remembered—but physically carried with you every day?In Episode 285, Mike and Mark dive into The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, a transformative exploration of how trauma shapes the brain, body, and our perception of the world.This episode challenges the idea that trauma is “just a story” and instead reveals how deeply it influences our reactions, relationships, and sense of self. From understanding your personal “map of the world” to learning how to release stored stress through movement, imagination, and even body positioning—this conversation is both eye-opening and practical.If you've ever felt stuck in patterns you can't explain, or sensed that something from the past is still holding you back, this episode offers a powerful framework for awareness, healing, and forward momentum.Now more than ever, understanding how to process and release what we carry is essential—not just for growth, but for living fully.Key ThemesTrauma as perception, not just memoryThe “map of the world” shaped by past experiencesHow trauma physically alters the brain and bodyEmotional pain as a full-body experienceGetting “stuck” in patterns of thought and behaviorHealing through movement, imagination, and creativityThe power of body language and posture in emotional statesAwareness and choice as tools for transformationConcepts & BreakthroughsOne of the most profound ideas in this episode is that trauma is not simply an event—it is the way the brain adapts to that event. As Bessel explains, our minds construct a “map of the world” based on past experiences, and that map determines how we interpret everything that follows. Two people can experience the same situation and walk away with completely different realities.This becomes especially important when trauma is unresolved. It doesn't stay in the past—it shows up in present reactions, often disproportionate to the situation. As discussed in the episode, someone may react strongly not because of what's happening now, but because of what happened years ago.Another key breakthrough is the understanding that trauma lives in the body. Feelings like anxiety, dread, or stress are not abstract—they manifest physically: tight shoulders, shallow breathing, or a clenched gut. As highlighted in the transcript, “heartbreak” and “gut-wrenching” are not just metaphors—they are literal bodily experiences .Healing, therefore, cannot be purely intellectual. It must involve the body. Movement, breathwork, and physical awareness become essential tools for releasing stored trauma. Even posture plays a role—standing upright, opening the chest, and adopting a “position of joy” can directly influence emotional state.Perhaps the most liberating idea explored is the concept of breaking out of the “trauma trap.” Through imagination, creativity, and even theatrical expression, we can step into new roles and identities. This creates distance from old patterns and opens the door to new ways of being.Habits, Tools & Mental Models1. The “Map of the World” CheckRegularly question your interpretation of events. Ask: Is this reality, or my past shaping my perception?2. Trauma Detox PracticeJust like physical detox, emotional detox requires intentional effort—through journaling, movement, or conversation.3. Body Awareness ScansNotice where stress lives in your body. Shoulders, neck, and gut are common signals of unresolved tension.4. Intercept the Thought LoopWhen revisiting past pain, consciously interrupt the pattern. Redirect attention before it spirals.Become a Member of the Moonshots Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/Moonshots

What if trauma healing isn't just about talking about the past, but helping the body feel safe again?   In this episode of The Healing + Human Potential Podcast, I sit down with Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world's leading trauma experts, to explore 7 powerful ways to heal trauma without medication.   Bessel shares why trauma is not just a story from the past, but a pattern the body and nervous system keep replaying in the present. We talk about why true healing often requires more than talk therapy, and how approaches like EMDR, yoga, breathwork, neurofeedback, movement, community + psychedelics can help people process trauma in a deeper way.   If you've ever wondered why trauma can still live in the body, why certain patterns keep repeating, or what actually helps people heal, this episode offers a much more hopeful + expanded path forward.   ===   Guest Bio: Bessel van der Kolk MD is one of the world's leading trauma experts and author of The Body Keeps the Score. He has spent his career studying how trauma impacts the brain and body and developing treatments that help people heal from traumatic stress.     ====   Connect with Guest: Website:  https://www.besselvanderkolk.com   ===   Want 3 Life-Changing Tools you can use on yourself (or your clients) from inside our Accredited Coaching Certification? Click here to get them for Free:  https://www.alyssanobriga.com/tools   ===   Want one of the most Powerful Tools to Support you in Awakening & Manifesting Your Dream Life from the Inside Out (for Free)?   Learn how to live to your full potential without letting fear get in the way of your dreams.   ✨ Here's How to Get Your Gift: ✨   Step 1: Just head over to Apple Podcast or Spotify + leave a review now   Step 2: Take a screenshot before hitting submit   Step 3: Then go to alyssanobriga.com/podcast to upload it!   ===   Website: alyssanobriga.com Instagram: @alyssanobriga TikTok: @alyssanobriga Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6b5s2xbA2d3pETSvYBZ9YR Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healing-human-potential/id1705626495   === Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this video. Copyright 2023, Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - All rights reserved

Abrir la mente implica también visitar las cuevas más oscuras, aquellas a las que preferimos voltearles la mirada, hacer como si no pasaran, creerlas casos aislados. En este episodio te invitamos a mirarlas de frente, a aprender su lenguaje, a cuidarte, a observar las muchas maneras como el abu$o se cuela en el mundo de los adultos, dañando muchas vidas. De la mano de Manuela Molina psicóloga y literata con magister en Psicología Clínica Infantil, creadora de MindHeart Kids y MindHeart Therapy, exploramos un tema del que deberíamos estar hablando mucho más. Recursos del episodio.Libros:Men Too, Dr. Kelli Palfy.El cuerpo lleva la cuenta, Bessel Van der Kolk.Series:Baby Reindeer. Morir de placer. Películas:Cleveland Abduction.

Science journalist Sadie Dingfelder is back with "Is That Bullshit?" — this time investigating the yoga-class truism that trauma lives in your hips, and the broader claim behind Bessel van der Kolk's massively influential book The Body Keeps the Score. Also: Kash Patel, Tulsi Gabbard, and John Ratcliffe testified before Congress on election security, and the numbers on non-citizen voting are in.  WIll it reach low double digits?  Stay tuned! Produced by Corey Wara Video and Social Media by Geoff Craig Do you have questions or comments, or just want to say hello? Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠thegist@mikepesca.com For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠ For ad-free content or to become a Pesca Plus subscriber, check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4_bh0wHgk2YfpKf4rg40_g⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠ad-sales@libsyn.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/TheGist

¿Sientes que por más que visualizas y afirmas, tu realidad no cambia? En el episodio de hoy, vamos a ir mucho más profundo en el proceso de manifestación consciente. No solo queremos manifestar cosas, queremos diseñar una vida a nuestra medida.   En este episodio aprenderás: La Paradoja de la Manifestación: Por qué necesitas sentirte en paz y abundancia antes de tener el dinero o la pareja, y por qué esto no es una injusticia, sino una liberación. El Cuerpo Lleva la Cuenta: Cómo el trauma infantil y las heridas del pasado actúan como "plomo" que te impide flotar hacia la superficie de tus sueños. Más allá del Psicoanálisis: Por qué entender tus problemas mentalmente no es suficiente y por qué el trabajo somático es la clave para liberar emociones atoradas en tu cuerpo. Tus Centros Energéticos: Un recorrido por tus chakras y cómo los bloqueos en lugares como el sacro o la garganta detienen tu flujo creativo y tu capacidad de decir tu verdad. Manifestación y Salud: La conexión entre tus emociones no expresadas y síntomas físicos como contracturas, insomnio o problemas de tiroides. Los libros que se mencionan son: The Body Keeps the Score (El cuerpo lleva la cuenta) de Bessel van der Kolk. Síndrome de un Corazón Roto de Esther Iturralde: https://www.amazon.com.mx/dp/6073807902  ¡Inscríbete a Self Masters! Si estás listo para convertirte en el maestro de tu propia realidad y aprender técnicas avanzadas de manifestación y sanación somática, únete a mi próximo programa.

En este episodio exploramos una pregunta muy importante: ¿por qué reaccionamos de la manera en que reaccionamos? Muchas veces nuestras respuestas emocionales parecen desproporcionadas, confusas o incluso fuera de nuestro control. Pero la realidad es que muchas de estas reacciones están profundamente conectadas con nuestra historia, nuestras experiencias pasadas y la manera en que nuestro sistema nervioso aprendió a protegernos. A lo largo de este episodio hablamos sobre cómo nuestras experiencias pueden moldear nuestras respuestas, cómo el cuerpo guarda memoria de lo que hemos vivido y por qué comprender esto puede ser el primer paso hacia la sanidad. También hacemos referencia al libro The Body Keeps the Score de Bessel van der Kolk, una obra muy reconocida que explora cómo el trauma y las experiencias difíciles pueden quedar registradas en el cuerpo y cómo es posible comenzar un proceso de sanidad desde un entendimiento más profundo. Porque la verdadera transformación no comienza con simplemente cambiar nuestro comportamiento, sino con entender lo que sucede dentro de nosotros. Si tienes preguntas o quieres compartir tu experiencia, puedes escribirnos en anatomyofchangeofficial.com o en Instagram @_stillwaters365. Esperamos que el Señor te hable a través de este mensaje. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

While doing defense work, Ariel crosses paths with inmate Michael Thompson. Incarcerated for decades on murder charges, she finds him to be soft-spoken, educated, and spiritual. Ariel's intrigued by Thompson's life growing up on an Indian reservation, his claims of being wrongfully convicted, his time leading the brutal Aryan Brotherhood prison gang, and his quest for enlightenment. He dispenses wisdom as he recounts his violent past and deeds done to atone for them. But prosecutor Heather Brown finds Thompson's stories to be false or exaggerated, tales that shift as they suit his purpose. Whereas Ariel sees a reformed man worthy of a second chance, Heather believes him to be a slippery con artist intent on talking his way out of prison. In the podcast “Love + Radio: Blood Memory,” host Nick van der Kolk explores Thompson's life in a true crime series presented largely without narration. Through extensive interviews, it allows Thompson to tell his own life story, leaving it for the listener to decide whether he's credible. OUR SPOILER-FREE REVIEWS OF "LOVE + RADIO: BLOOD MEMORY" BEGIN IN THE FINAL 14 MINUTES OF THE EPISODE. In Crime of the Week: power vacuum.  For exclusive podcasts and more, sign up at Patreon.Sign up for our newsletter at crimewriterson.com.This show was recorded in The Caitlin Rogers Project Studio. Click to find out more. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the places where you feel the most emotionally reactive are actually invitations to grow? In today's workout, Alisa Keeton, founder and CEO of Revelation Wellness, invites you to move your body while engaging the Word of God—not just hearing it, but living it. Because Scripture calls us to be doers of the Word, not just hearers. So get your good body moving. However you choose to move today—walking, jogging, stretching, or simply breathing deeply—remember this: movement helps your body do what God designed it to do. Today's Scripture: Numbers 20:1–13 The Body and Our Emotions Our bodies are emotional places. Trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk famously wrote The Body Keeps the Score, reminding us that emotions live in our bodies. No emotion is off the table. At their core, emotions are childlike signals. Your brain is simply trying to keep you safe. But emotional reactivity can reveal something deeper. Our emotional instability can show us the places where we're still growing. The places where we're still immature. The places where we need God's presence most. Questions to Reflect On While You Move As you get the blood flowing and settle into your movement today, consider: What have you seen God do in your life? What miracles has He already performed? Where might you be trying to fix things in your own strength? Emotional maturity isn't achieved through willpower. The cure is His presence. So today, breathe deep. Relax your shoulders. Keep moving. Let God meet you in your body, your breath, and your emotions. Playlist: Thankful by Lukas Gross & Martna Valeikaitė Matter of Time by Vandelux You're Gonna Be OK by Rave Jesus & son Ordinary by Alex Warren holy bounce by Bonafyde Thank God I'm Free by Elevation Rhythm Mighty Name of Jesus by Hope Darst Don't Give Up On Me by Brandon Lake Ready to Go Deeper?