En este episodio, hablamos del capítulo 3 del libro de Bessel Van der Kolk "The body keeps the record", un capítulo que permite entender cómo el trauma afecta distintas áreas del cerebro, tales como el área de Broca, el córtex visual o bien el área límbica. "El trauma es pre-verbal" , afirma Van Der Kolk. "Las personas no mejoran si no pueden sentir lo que sienten ysi no saben lo que saben" Ed Murrow, después de regresar de su reportaje acerca del campo de Buchenwald: " "I pray you believe what i have said. I reported what I saw and heard, but only a part of it. For most of it I have no words". Puedes dejar tus comentarios en la siguiente página y grabarlos: https://anchor.fm/mel88888Buzzsprout -Puedes empezar tu podcast HOY. Si quieres apoyar el Podcast Justine Time y obteneruna tarjeta regalo para empezar tu propio podcast con Buzzsprout:Dale click en: https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=1776044Mil gracias por tu apoyo y bienvenidx en la familia de podcasteros y podcasteras
Thanks to Sharesight for sponsoring this episode! 4 Months FREE of Sharesight Portfolio Tracking http://bit.ly/sharesight-younginvestors In this week's episode, we discuss Inflation, Fed rate hike, Paramount+ changes and more. The Young Investors Podcast explores the ideas of Value Investing, ideas that that were originally formed by successful investors such as Ben Graham, Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. The show is run by two young Australian investors; Hamish Hodder and Brandon van der Kolk, who both run their own investing related YouTube channels.
Jonathan Boyce and Casey Crimmins shed light on the current state of "The Church", and despite some technical difficulties, offer hope and perspective of the coming shifts in religious communities. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/restevents (R.E.S.T.™ Events) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) https://www.amazon.com/Draw-Circle-Day-Prayer-Challenge/dp/0310327121/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y1CZKCYV2V7F&keywords=draw+the+circle&qid=1662689727&sprefix=draw%2520the%2520circle%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1 (Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
Not only is Carolyn the author of the book Solo by Choice, but she runs the longest-running blog on solo and small law firm practice.It all began with a website in the early 90s for solo and small firm practitioners. She would go on to focus on legal innovation, woman ownership, and diversity in the legal profession. Now, she's the owner of a national law firm focused on power, pipelines, and property. Carolyn has been quoted in publications like the New York Times, featured in the ABA Journal, and appeared on the Daily Show. Additionally, her book has helped launch thousands of solo and small law firms. In this episode, super lawyer Carolyn shares how she got started before the world wide web was what it is today, how her blog has evolved, and how she is helping so many others start their own law firms.2:43 HTML7:18 about 20 more visitors11:42 advancing diversity and creating new practice areas14:12 try to be very encouraging19:41 opportunity to build and really create something new25:38 clerkships are a really great starter Jim's Hack: Check out the book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk.Carolyn's Tip: Loom is great for quick content creation. Tyson's Tip: A great key feature that can be found in your Google Workspace account is color coding your calendar.
Bienvenida, bienvenido de nuevo al podcast. El episodio de hoy es una petición directa realizada por parte de la comunidad de Psicología Cafeínica. Es un episodio largo, donde abordo en profundidad la naturaleza del trauma y su tratamiento. He basado todo el episodio en contenidos extraídos íntegramente del libro “El cuerpo lleva la cuenta”, de Bessel van der Kolk. Si quieres tener estos apuntes solo tienes que inscribirte en la lista de correo y te llegará siempre un correo a tu bandeja de entrada con todas las notas que suelo recopilar para los episodios. Tienes el enlace más abajo. Gracias por acompañarme en esta aventura. SUSCRÍBETE AL PODCAST PARA NO PERDERTE NINGÚN EPISODIO. Puedes comprar mi libro «Técnicas de Alto Rendimiento para Aprobar una Oposición» mediante este link: https://www.amazon.es/gp/product/B08JCFB4QV/?tag=leerla05-21 Si te gusta el podcast y quieres contribuir puedes «invitarme a un café» para apoyar el canal mediante el siguiente link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/franjodar Inscríbete en mi NEWSLETTER para recibir las notas del episodio y contenido exclusivo: https://mailchi.mp/121642fda0e8/newsletter-fran-jdar-psiclogo Si deseas enviarme un mensaje para incluirlo en el podcast puedes escribirme a: Mail: firstname.lastname@example.org Para conocerme un poco más visita: www.franjodarpsicologo.com - Sígueme en mis REDES SOCIALES: www.instagram.com/franjodarpsicologo www.instagram.com/altorendimientooposicion www.youtube.com/FranJodarPsicologo REFERENCIAS: — El cuerpo lleva la cuenta. Cerebro, mente y cuerpo en la superación del trauma . Bessel van der Kolk M.D.: https://amzn.to/3Ufi61j — Entrevista a Paco Duque: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oeb-0BUzv84&t=169s MÚSICA: Joaquim Karud: "Love mode": https://soundcloud.com/joakimkarud/love-mode Rainy night de Luke Hall https://soundcloud.com/c_luke_hall Creative Commons — Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported — CC BY-SA 3.0 Descarga gratuita / Transmisión: https://bit.ly/3TIQelY Música promovida por Audio Library https:/ /youtu.be/sGclUtpr2-s Guilt de Rexlambo https://soundcloud.com/rexlambo Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0 Descarga / transmisión gratuita: https://bit.ly/3kNBbrr Música promovida por Audio Library https://youtu.be/UaRlnMrHSog
내 것이어야 했지만 내 것이 아닐 때 공포를 선사하는 물리적 틀. 00:00:00 --- 1: 오프닝 00:09:53 --- 2: 어찌할 수 없는 거대한 힘 00:16:17 --- 3: 개인적 공포, 사회적 공포 00:26:43 --- 4: 규칙적인 악 00:35:15 --- 5: 얼굴, 이름 00:44:06 --- 6: 오컬트 기생충 00:48:26 --- 7: 마무리 에피소드 관련 링크 00:05:45 --- "The Doors of Perception" by Aldous Huxley --- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Doors_of_Perception 00:08:30 --- 데스노트 --- https://namu.wiki/w/%EB%8D%B0%EC%8A%A4%EB%85%B8%ED%8A%B8 00:08:40 --- Rosemary's Baby (악마의 씨) --- https://namu.wiki/w/%EC%95%85%EB%A7%88%EC%9D%98%20%EC%94%A8 00:23:28 --- "Parasite Rex" (기생충 제국) by Carl Zimmer --- http://www.yes24.com/Product/Goods/1406994 00:49:30 --- "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk --- https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score (한국어판: "몸은 기억한다" 베셀 반 데어 콜크 저 --- https://search.shopping.naver.com/book/catalog/32440542483 제가 하는 모든 일은 여기에 정리되어 있습니다. https://hanaim.imaginariumkim.com/ 전체 에피소드 녹취록 https://aimdreaming.imaginariumkim.com/ep-28-신체통제-나를-상실한-몸뚱아리/
Riley Chustz brings practical examples to further illustrate acts of commission/omission and how she discerns what is driving her everyday decisions. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) https://www.amazon.com/Draw-Circle-Day-Prayer-Challenge/dp/0310327121/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y1CZKCYV2V7F&keywords=draw+the+circle&qid=1662689727&sprefix=draw%2520the%2520circle%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1 (Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
It was a lazy morning as I scrolled through my YouTube feed. There were three videos that caught my attention. One was entitled, "Weird Things Only Narcissists Do," by Rebecca Zung. The next was, "When Narcissists Paint You As Unhinged," by Dr. Ramani. The last, feel was a true gem. I thought about it all day. It was by Jordi Universe and entitled, "To You, A Year From Now." Jordi's message hit me hard and stayed with me throughout the day. It was compelling, beautifully done and asked the one question that leads to many more, "What if?" Here are links to the videos: Rebecca Zung: https://youtube.com/watch?v=VKfRME7omPY&feature=share&si=EMSIkaIECMiOmarE6JChQQ Dr. Ramani: https://youtube.com/watch?v=SZaRMnqBGyk&feature=share&si=EMSIkaIECMiOmarE6JChQQ Jordi Universe: https://youtube.com/watch?v=HWaZgAGMsc8&feature=share&si=EMSIkaIECMiOmarE6JChQQ Below are the affiliate links to some of the books I've spoken of thus far in this podcast. They are ones that have greatly aided in my healing and I highly recommend them. COMPLEX PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker https://amzn.to/3RCx7rN The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk: https://amzn.to/3TLagfv Overcoming Toxic Parenting by Rick Johnson: https://amzn.to/3wXlBPO Healing Your Emotional Self by Beverly Engel: https://amzn.to/3epY0RD The Emotionally Absent Mother https://amzn.to/3BLezQY
Sabine Kolk ist vor 17 Jahren mit ihrem Mann und ihren beiden Kindern auf die Hallig Gröde gezogen und vermietet dort drei Ferienwohnungen.In dieser Podcastfolge erzählt sie vom Leben auf der Knudswarft, von ihrem Alltag als Halligbewohnerin und vom Austausch mit ihren Gästen. www.kolkhalliggroede.wordpress.comwww.baerbel-fening.de
My guest today is a long-awaited one, the brilliant Dr. Gabor Maté. A renowned speaker and bestselling author. Dr. Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics, including addiction, stress, and childhood development. We showcase his latest book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture, and the many overlapping layers involved in the wellness/illness/trauma matrix. The subjects at hand – addiction, trauma, and recovery – are near and dear to my own experience and development as a person. As such, we go deep in this one, perhaps a little too deep for my comfort, personally. But in the end, I think the value to you, the listener, will make any vulnerability I endured worth every minute of it. Don't miss the Off-Grid Homestead Bundle. I've partnered with dozens of fellow creators to put together the ultimate one-stop shop for learning how to start a homestead, go off-grid, and cultivate a sustainable life for you and your family. For a limited time – September 16-25 – get the Off-Grid Homestead Bundle for a wild 99% OFF. That's only $50 for 100+ handpicked courses, available at LukeStorey.com/OffGrid. 00:10:09 — Dr. Maté's Latest Book: The Myth of Normal The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Drawing lines between individual experience and cultural impact Lakota wisdom from Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona Great Balls Of Fire! by Jerry Lee Lewis (1957) 00:22:22 — The Role Trauma Plays in Addiction Defining addition and trauma Framing addiction as a solution to a problem Framing trauma as a wound Fleeing Nazi occupation in 1944 How childhood trauma scars over Unpacking Luke's experience with sexual abuse Into the Magic Shop by James R. Doty MD 00:57:59 — Healing Through the Judicious Use of Psychedelics Luke's experience reliving his abuse during ceremony What is a trigger vs. the ammunition behind it? Granting ourselves grace A case of ayawaska recovery from Dr. Maté's book Bill Wilson's experiments with LSD The importance of set and setting How To Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan Acknowledging the access/privilege factor Dosed (2019) 01:34:05 — Gratitude for the Process of Recovery Humans as being naturally kind and nurturing vs. hostile Finding your true nature Talk therapy (make it trauma-informed) The story of Eve Ensler Internal Family Systems practice Compassionate Inquiry practice Wisdom of Trauma (2021) EMDR practice The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, MD What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Appreciating the work of A.H. Almaas IntraConnected by Daniel J. Siegel, MD Appreciating with work of Bessel van der Kolk, MD The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle More about this episode. Watch on YouTube. THIS SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY: BIOME BREAKTHROUGH. Have you ever wondered why some people get really sick while others have only mild cases? The severity of your illness could be affected by your gut health. Biome Breakthrough is the ONLY formula that can repair compromised gut lining, help it rebuild with the right probiotics and prebiotics, and activate the four critical pathways to super immunity. You can use the code “luke10” for 10% off at www.bioptimizers.com/luke. AND... SLEEPME. Science tells us that the best way to achieve and maintain consistent, deep sleep is by lowering core body temperature. Life Stylist listeners can save on the purchase of any new Cube, OOLER, or Dock Pro Sleep System, and start aiding their sleep routines today. Head to Sleep.me/LukeStorey for 25% off. AND… JOOVV. A new generation of Joovv devices are here and I am stoked. They're sleeker, lighter, easier to set up, and allow you to stand 3x further away from the device while still getting the recommended dosage. There's also a new ambient mode to help you wind down at the end of the day and a recovery mode that will help you rejuvenate after a tough workout. If you are ready to get a new Joovv device, you can get a discount for a limited time over at Joovv.com/luke. AND… ICE BARREL. Now, a cold therapy training tool that makes it easy to bring ice baths into your routine. And apartment-dwellers rejoice, because Ice Barrel is lightweight, portable, and maintenance is super easy. Life Stylist listeners get a super special $125 OFF to try out Ice Barrel, not to mention their 30-Day Money Back Guarantee. Go to IceBarrel.com/Luke and use code LUKE to claim your discount today. Resources The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Hang out with Alyson and me at the Modern Nirvana Conference 2022, September 23rd in Austin, Texas – Use the code LUKEALYSON for 15% off tickets! Are you ready to block harmful blue light, and look great at the same time? Check out Gilded By Luke Storey. Where fashion meets function: gildedbylukestorey.com Join me on Telegram for the uncensored content big tech won't allow me to post. It's free speech and free content: www.lukestorey.com/telegram Related Episodes Solving the Microdosing Mystery & the 3rd Wave of Psychedelics w/ Paul Austin #400
Thanks to Sharesight for sponsoring this episode! 4 Months FREE of Sharesight Portfolio Tracking http://bit.ly/sharesight-younginvestors In this week's episode, we discuss the European energy crisis, Apple's latest event, and some value investing stocks that Tom has been eyeing! The Young Investors Podcast explores the ideas of Value Investing, ideas that that were originally formed by successful investors such as Ben Graham, Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. The show is run by two young Australian investors; Hamish Hodder and Brandon van der Kolk, who both run their own investing related YouTube channels.
Virginia asks Riley Chustz, a guest featured in our Addictions series, about her stages of healing and the realizations necessary to embark on this particular journey. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) https://www.amazon.com/Draw-Circle-Day-Prayer-Challenge/dp/0310327121/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y1CZKCYV2V7F&keywords=draw+the+circle&qid=1662689727&sprefix=draw%2520the%2520circle%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1 (Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
Michael Mayer, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, and Qigong/Tai Chi teacher who specializes in giving his patients self-healing methods for health problems. Dr. Mayer presents his approach to bodymind healing at professional conferences, national/international workshops, universities, and hospitals; and he is a keynote speaker. He was a co-founding faculty member of the Transpersonal Psychology Program at John F. Kennedy University and taught there for twelve years; and he co-founded, and was for ten years a practitioner at, The Health Medicine Center, a multi-disciplinary medical clinic practicing integrative health-care. Dr. Mayer pioneered the integration of Qigong and psychotherapy, and was the first person in the United States to train doctoral psychology students in these methods. The World Institute for Self-Healing gave him an award for outstanding research and contribution to the advancement of mind-body medicine. He is the author of twenty publications on bodymind healing including six books, and various articles. His peer reviewed article on Qigong and hypertension appeared in The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, and is updated in the book Healing, Intention and Energy Medicine, by Dr Wayne Jonas, past director of the National Institute of Health, Office of Alternative Medicine. Dr. Mayer has served as a peer reviewer for The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, Complementary Therapies in Medicine, and Annals of Internal Medicine. His Bodymind Healing Qigong DVD is being used in training of trauma therapists by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Medical Director, The Trauma Center, Boston University School of Medicine. Dr. Mayer has certification programs which include Bodymind Healing Qigong for Qigong practitioners/teachers, and a Bodymind Health Practitioner's Certification Program for health professionals. His book, Bodymind Healing Psychotherapy, received endorsements from top leaders in mind-body medicine, and from the journal PsycCritiques. It has been released as a trade paperback called Energy Psychology (North Atlantic/Random House, 2009). His most recent Ben Franklin award winning book is, The Path of a Reluctant Metaphysician: Stories and Practices for Troubled Times. Michael's guiding image of “two streams becoming one” guides him as he joins East/West, mind/body and ancient/modern in his work. Michael Mayer websites the link to my new website is : www.bodymindhealing-taichiqigong.com. Note, there is a dash in it. A. On this website is a link to get the “The Path of a Reluctant Metaphysician' book as an ebook, discounted to $9.99. This is the only website of mine that has the ebook. B. On this website is the twenty video educational, integral healing, and training program in integrating ancient wisdom traditions with Tai Chi, Qigong, & modern psychology. This is one of the most important practice pathways of The Path of a Reluctant Metaphysician. I call the video series, Tai Chi Chuan: Four Dimensions of Purpose. The four dimensions are:self-healing, spiritual unfoldment, self defense and changing one' life stance psychologically. My older, psychologically oriented website is: https://bodymindhealing.com My “The Path of a Reluctant Metaphysician" website link is: https://www.reluctantmetaphysician.com. Sign up for 10% off of Shrink Rap Radio CE credits at the Zur Institute
Do you deal with chronic pain? Have you ever been told it might be mind/body syndrome or Neuroplastic? In this episode, I share insights from 3 incredible books that helped me to change the way I experience pain in my life. The three books are: The Body is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, The Way Out by Alan Gordon, and The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. I credit my healing neuroplastic hip and ankle pain to the coaching I received from my mentor Betsy Jensen. If you are having chronic neuroplastic pain, book a chat with me to talk about how I can help you heal the way you're relating to your pain here: https://calendly.com/shelbykhansen/45minwww.shelbykhansen.com
Show Notes:I've been trying to lean in to the openness to the not knowing more generally in life these last many months. It's not my knee-jerk – I'm pretty hardwired toward planning, perseverating, anxiety and hyper-controlling. Settling in to the unknown and trusting that I'll have what I need whenever I end up needing it – trusting that I have done what I can and allowing the rest to fall where it may – is not usually in my comfort zone. Yet, I'm finding it to be my saving grace lately. Curiosity and trust. Those are the muscles I am exercising a lot more regularly, and it's been really cool to see how this allows me to relax into uncertain situations without sacrificing any of my capacity to be meaningfully involved or capable. I don't think I'm alone in trying to micro-manage and control things in an effort to make everything be ok – my hunch is you might be in the same boat. Given that, you may also understand how uncomfortable it can be to try to shift from that mode to something less vigilant and “on top of things”. But it's been simpler. Calmer. Nicer in a lot of ways. And it has allowed me to consider and explore ideas I wouldn't normally have even allowed space to exist. Now, that has been true in my world and life generally but also as it relates to my work and the topic we're kicking off with for Season 3 of Behind the Line. A few months ago we had a guest on the show, you might remember, Kelsi Sheren from Brass & Unity. As a quick recap, Kelsi is a retired artillery gunner with the Canadian Armed Forces. She shared her story of experiencing PTSD and struggling with treatment resistance to traditional or conventional therapeutic interventions. I so valued this conversation and her calling out of the limitations of many conventional therapy models – because the truth is that they don't work for everyone. And I really appreciated that she brought up a topic that in my profession is still pretty controversial, but I believe is really important, and that is the topic of psychedelics for PTSD treatment. When she brought it up I honestly had a moment of shock – not because of what she was sharing but because I realized that we had not yet spoken of this in a year and a half of this show existing. We did a whole series on therapy in the fall of 2021, and somehow I missed talking about some key pieces. As soon as I got off the interview with Kelsi, I reached out to 2 colleagues and asked them to schedule interviews for a new series I wanted to do to kick off season 3, and so here we are and we are jumping in talking about alternative treatment modalities for those who are struggling to find the right fit in conventional therapy.Over the coming weeks I am going to introduce you to two amazing clinicians and the ways that they work outside of the conventions of traditional talk therapy to support healing and change. You'll hear from my friend and colleague, Claire Weiss who specializes in Psilocybin-Assisted Psychotherapy, as well as my colleague, Michael Mariano who specializes in neurotherapy. You'll also hear from me about non-verbal trauma processing approaches like EMDR which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing; and OEI which stands for Observed Experiential Integration. For today, I want to start by talking about why talking doesn't always work. Let's start with this. As a therapist, I may be biased, but I genuinely believe therapy works. I have witnessed time and time again the incredible power of the therapeutic process, including the influence of talk therapy in shaping or reshaping how we think, feel and engage in the world. I have had so many opportunities to watch people make substantial shifts and live lives more aligned with their core values. I have seen people re-write their internal narratives and discover freedom from the stories they were handed. I have myself been shaped by therapy, growing from the opportunity to look more closely and intentionally at myself, my choices, my ways of perceiving, and considering alternative ways to going about it to be more the person I want to be. I want to be clear that I am not saying that talk therapy isn't helpful – on the contrary, it can be incredibly helpful and consequential in changing someone's life. That said, it has it's place and it has it's limitations, and chief among it's limitations is in the processing and healing from trauma.We have talked on this show a number of times about how traumatic experiences get encoded into our brains. We've talked about how the regions of the brain associated with trauma memory as unique and struggle with things like time and context. One of the other things these regions struggle with is language. That's right, when we store traumatic memories, we store them in a part of the brain that doesn't have particularly keen access to our language center. Our brain has to work hard to connect the memory to words to describe it, and often when people share about their traumatic experiences they find that they stumble trying to find the right words, or randomly blank on words. The part of our brain that is awesome at language is our frontal lobe, which is also where we do our really good thinking, decision making, learning, and so on. As we've identified in many other episodes, the frontal lobe part of your brain essentially gets turned off when trauma happens, and this also occurs when we go into memory recall of traumatic events. Whenever we are putting demand on the part of our brain that manages stress and stores trauma, our brain recalibrates itself to give more resources to the stress center and less resources to other parts of the brain including our frontal lobe. So think about that for a minute – if you are going for therapy to work on traumatic experiences or the impact of trauma over time, and you are being asked to recall or share about the impact trauma has had for you – the act of doing what needs to be done means that language is automatically reduced. Which means that talk therapy is going to have a MUCH harder time accessing what it needs to, and supporting you in navigating what you need to move through, in an effort to rewire how your brain has stored that traumatic information. Talk therapy for trauma can feel very slow and very difficult, as it leaves people sitting in their traumatic experiences with minimal equipping to move through and out of it. It rests heavily on talking being the tool that gets us through, but the part of the brain that connects with that isn't likely to be online. Unfortunately when people have tried talk therapy and found it ineffective in helping them with their trauma and symptoms, they tend to scrap therapy altogether. But what if there are other ways at getting to your brain that don't rely so heavily on a skill that isn't online? What if we can find some workarounds that get us there through some sneaky back doors?For decades now trauma therapists around the world have been searching for the back doors. We have been working to be creative and emerging brain science has helped move us forward in better understanding how we can access and reprogram trauma. I won't say that we have all the answers, because man alive, the brain is a complex thing and I'm not sure we've even scratched the surface of all that there is to know about how it works. But I will say that we have learned a lot and that we're taking what we're learning and working really hard to find better ways to provide support to people who don't find conventional therapy to be doing the trick. I remember about 6 years ago I went to a training by one of my psychology idols, Bessel van der Kolk. Dr. van der Kolk is known as a trauma expert. He has been at the forefront of the most significant and consequential research related to trauma, he has acted in roles of leadership within the most significant bodies related to trauma work, and if you do what I do, you have read everything he has ever written and admire his dedication to serving people better. He shared during this training about his work before learning about EMDR. He talked about the limitations he kept running into and the “treatment resistance” he observed in so many trauma clients. He shared about the lack of outcomes in treatment research, or outcomes being really limited and hardly passing a level of significance. He shared about how he started hearing about this thing called EMDR and that he thought it sounded like nonsense. There's no way anything could give the results EMDR had been found to offer. Then he shared about his experience with a specific client who he could not figure out what to do with. Nothing was working. All of his best work wasn't touching this persons trauma. So he sent her to a colleague who did EMDR, and the gains this client made were so substantial that he couldn't deny the efficacy of this intervention. He got trained in EMDR soon after and has since been one of the most considerable contributors to research related to EMDR and PTSD. Now, we'll get into the specifics of EMDR later in this series, and I'll be clear that I don't think EMDR is a universal answer to trauma either – but the point I'm trying to make is that we need to be open to the possibility that the problem isn't that our trauma can't be helped, but rather we need to get curious about whether the intervention that's being used is the best way to work at helping our trauma. What if, instead of calling it quits after a few unsatisfying talk therapy sessions, and feeling like we aren't fixable, we instead asked questions about other options, and sought out alternatives that could bring different relief? Let me say really quick that this requires you as the consumer of a service to know that there are more options available. …And that kind of sucks. It shouldn't have to be your responsibility to know and seek out alternatives – I think this should be made more easily available and accessible, but we live in a managed care system that does ask more of you than it should. Advocating for yourself and not giving up will fall to you. I hate that that's true, because often when we're struggling with something like PTSD we don't have the sense of capacity to do more for ourselves, we just need help. Yet, this is where we're at, and I hope that at minimum, episodes like this help you feel more aware and discerning as you seek support and equip you with questions to ask, things to watch for, and the ability to pull the plug on something that isn't working to find something that will if you aren't getting your needs met. Over the coming weeks we will talk about three specific treatment interventions offered by specialized clinicians and practitioners. My hope is that you might hear something you gravitate towards and that you'll be inspired to continue seeking support and ensuring your wellbeing. Your wellness is critical. We are living in a time where we need every person, every person who is able to contribute to making the world a better, safer place. We need you, and we need you well. We need you to keep helping, in whatever role or capacity that might be, because goodness knows the world has been in an increasingly tough spot. Investing in you can't be optional, we need you too much for that. So I hope you'll continue listening over the coming weeks and that you'll take something away that will shape how you invest in you.Episode Challenge:Take 5 minutes to complete our listener feedback survey!! Help shape the future of Behind the Line to ensure that it is meeting your needs and covering topics that matter most to you. If you complete the survey before September 30th you will be entered to win a $50 amazon gift card!Complete the Behind the Line Listener Feedback Survey, here.Reflect on where you're at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide. Additional Resources:Enter to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card by taking 5 minutes to complete our Behind the Line listener feedback survey, here.Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at email@example.com. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.
Summary: In this episode, we review the many ways we fail to love ourselves, through self-hatred and through indifference toward ourselves. We discuss the ways that unlove for self manifests itself, contrasting a lack of love with ordered self-love through the lens of Bernard Brady's five characteristics of love. We discuss the impact of a lack of self-love on your body. I then invite you into an experiential exercise to get to know a part of you that is not loving either another part of you or your body. Lead-In “Mourn not the dead that in the cool earth lie--Dust unto dust--The calm, sweet earth that mothers all who dieAs all men must; Mourn not your captive comrades who must dwell--Too strong to strive--Within each steel-bound coffin of a cell,Buried alive; But rather mourn the apathetic throng--The cowed and the meek--Who see the world's great anguish and its wrongAnd dare not speak!”― Ralph Chaplin, Bars And Shadows Intro I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and this is the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcasts, coming to you from the Souls and Hearts Studio in Indianapolis, Indiana. This podcast is all about bringing you the best of psychology and human formation and harmonizing it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith. In this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast, we take the most important human formation issues head on, without trepidation, without hesitation -- we don't mince words as we directly address with the most important concerns in the natural realm, the absolute central issues that we need to address with all of our energy and all of our resources. We have been working through a series on trauma and well-being -- starting with episode 88. In the last episode, episode 96, I Am a Rock: How Trauma Hardens us Against Being Loved -- we discussed the impact of trauma on us accepting love from others, including God. In this episode, we're addressing how trauma sets us up to refuse to love ourselves. Welcome to Episode 97 of Interior Integration for Catholics, titled "Unlove of Self: How Trauma Predisposes You to Self-Hatred and Indifference" It's released on September 5, 2022. It is so good to be with you, thank you for listening in and for being together with me once again. I'm glad we are here and that we are exploring the great unlove of self. The great unlove for self -- like the uncola ads from 7-UP in the late 60s throughout the 70s and 80, even into the late 90s. What does unlove of self mean -- OK, I get it that it's refusing to love myself -- but what does that mean? You might tell me that if I don't love myself, then I am hating myself. All right. Let's go with that. Let's explore self-hatred and self-loathing Define self-hatred Self-hatred is hatred directed toward oneself rather than toward others Verywellmind.com article titled "Self-loathing" by Jodi Clarke, a licensed professional counselor Self-loathing, or self-hatred, is extreme criticism of oneself. It may feel as though nothing you do is good enough or that you are unworthy or undeserving of good things in life. Self-hate can feel like having a person following you around, all day every day, criticizing you and pointing out every flaw, or shaming you for every mistake. Brennan Manning In my experience, self-hatred is the dominant malaise crippling Christians and stifling their growth in the Holy Spirit. Not sure I agree with that -- depends on the definitions. Shame and the fear of shame overwhelming the self are such drivers of self hatred. Angel Ploetner, Who Am I? Dissociative Identity Disorder Survivor “Shame plays a huge part in why you hate who you are.” Shame is so central Check out episodes 37 to 49 of this podcast for a whole series on shame. Eric Hoffer It is not love of self but hatred of self which is at the root of the troubles that afflict our world. Basil W. Maturin We never get to love by hate, least of all by self-hatred. Lori Deschene “We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” The primary way we hate ourselves -- for parts of you to hate other parts of you. I am talking about intra-psychic hatred. Hatred within you, for you, by you. IFS description of the self Reference Episode 71: A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others Definition of Parts: Parts are like separate, independently operating personalities within you, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in your life, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view. Each part also has a different attitude or position toward other parts of you and different beliefs and assumptions about your body. Robert Falconer calls these parts insiders. Like in the movie Inside Out. Your parts have different roles within your self-system. Your parts have a very narrow, limited vision when they are not in right relationship with your innermost self. Each of your parts usually has a strong agenda, something that they trying to accomplish, some good that that part is seeking for you. Polarizations Examples of polarizations in the most recent weekly reflection -- The Counterfeits of Self-Giving from August 31,2022. How parts get polarized around the idea of giving of self Compliant surrenderer vs. feisty protector Self-sacrificer vs. rebel Check that out. Bessel van der Kolk, in his excellent book "The Body Keeps the Score" devotes all of chapter 17 to Internal Family Systems. Very accessible book, I've recommended it before to many non-clinicians. There's a reason it has been the top selling book on trauma for the last seven years running. A book like that comes around once in a generation. In 1992, It was Judith Herman's seminal book Trauma and Recovery. 23 years later, it was The Body Keeps the Score. To examine Unlove, we are going to contrast unloving with loving. Let's review the five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady, his 2003 Christian Love: How Christians through the Ages have Understood Love.-- drawing heavily from the work of Christian phenomenologists. I introduced his five characteristics of in Episode 94, The Primacy of Love and I expanded on them in Episode 95 Trauma's Devastating Impact on our Capacity to Love. Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast. Those are the five characteristics of love that Bernard Brady distilled from his historical review of how Christians have seen love through the ages. Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast. So let's break down what happens when one part of you is hating another part of you. Love is affective -- love is emotional Love rejoices in the beloved -- Protestant Theologian R.H. Neibuhr writes in his 1977 By love, we mean at least these attitudes and actions: rejoicing in the presence of the beloved, gratitude, reverence, and loyalty toward him. p.35 Many positive emotions are associated with love Delight, Bliss, Happiness A sense of fulfillment Warmth, appreciation What does hatred or loathing for another part look like? How do parts hate each other? Self hatred is also affective -- it's also emotional. But in a very different way that ordered self-love is. Disgust regarding the another part Anger toward another part Contempt for the body -- anger + disgust = contempt Example: Let's say there is a fearful part of you that is very frightened of public speaking – of making presentations in front of other people. And now, for your work, you are required to make an important presentation in front of your supervisors and more senior executives within your company. Another part of you, your perfectionistic part, has led you to rehearse your presentation, to the point where you almost have it memorized. Your last performance in front of your bedroom mirror was so good. But now, in front of your audience, your fearful part locks you up. You find yourself stuttering, stammering, and your inner critic is a railing in hatred against your fearful part. That inner critic is saying things like, "Why are you such a sniveling frightened little coward? It's just a simple presentation, dumb ass, we've practiced it over and over, we have it down. Get yourself together, this is really important, and you are screwing it up and making us all look bad. Who knows what will happen if we can't pull this off." The more intense your inner critic gets in its hateful attack on your fearful part, the more the fearful part freezes. After the presentation ends, the inner critic continues to bash the fearful part, ruminating about how poor the presentation was. Love is affirming Love says yes to the other at the same time as love says yes to oneself. In parts thinking, there is a open-hearted yes to all the parts. Not just some parts, not just the "acceptable" parts of us. All part are welcome to the table. In self-hatred, one or more parts attack the unloved part -- not just superficially, but they hating parts go after the identity of the unloved part the self-hating parts want to destroy the hated part, or at least banish the hated part from having a voice, from having a seat at the table In our example, you can see how the inner critic is trying to get rid of the fearful part, trying to suppress that part with its fear. From Jodi Clarke's Verywellmind.com article: Typical self-hating thoughts may include: "I knew we would fail." "Why do I even try?" "I'm a loser." "No one wants to be around me." "Look at me screwing up again." "Can't I just be normal?" "I hate myself." Richard Bach The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. When other people affirm the person who is dominated by a self-hating part, the affirmation doesn't really sink in. It doesn't work. The person all caught up in self hatred can't hear the affirmation, can't take the affirmation in. Richey Edwards “People say to the mentally ill, ‘You know so many people think the world of you.' But when they don't like themselves they don't notice anything. They don't care about what people think of them. When you hate yourself, whatever people say it doesn't make sense. ‘Why do they like me? Why do they care about me?' Because you don't care about yourself at all.” Love is responsive: Love is an active response for the well-being of the other. It's about participating in the promotion of the highest good for the other, potential for the other How can I help you to flourish? How can I help you toward your highest good? In self-hatred one or more parts tear down the hated part. There is a response to the hated part, but it's not a positive one. Rather than attuning to the hated part, the hating parts seek to silence it and suppress it without really getting to know the hated part. Not interested in the hated part's experience -- why the hated part thinks, feels or assumes what it does. In our example, the inner critic is responsive to the fear of the fearful part, but in hateful way -- seeing the fearful part as counterproductive and threatening the wellbeing of the whole person, and thus feels justified in the bullying, heavy-handed approach taken. Love is unitive Bernard Brady: The fruit of love is unity. Love unites. It is in the very nature of love to bring together. p. 279 Hatred divides. It polarizes within. The fearful part and the inner critic have no common ground because of the hatred. Hatred fragments within. It shatters the self. Order self love helps to integrate all the parts, providing space for all parts to be seen, heard known, and loved. Love integrates parts, inviting them into a collaborative, cooperative relationship with the innermost self and with all the other parts. We give this internal unity a special name -- interior integration. That is what this podcast is all about. Interior integration for Catholics. Love is steadfast Steadfastness in self-love requires acceptance of all parts for there to be resilience. Hatred contributes to the inner system of the self being brittle and fragile. Hatred doesn't generally come from our innermost selves Self: The natural core of the person, the center of the person in the natural realm. This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader. Unharmed by trauma, by attachment injuries, by relational wounds, by negative life experiences. Catholics don't believe in John Calvin's concept of total depravity, that we are sinful and morally corrupt through and through. Catholics don't believe we are snow-covered dung heaps, like Martin Luther taught. We are still ontologically good, still made in the image and likeness of God. We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship. When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm Curiosity Compassion Confidence Courage Clarity Connectedness Creativity We also have the capacity for kindness The only exception: unless we've committed the unforgivable sin, blaspheming against the Holy Spirit CCC 1864: “There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss” (No. 1864). Repudiating life, love, truth, mercy, forgiveness -- irrevocably, through hardness of heart. That is possible, or Jesus would not have warned against it. Walking dead. What does self-hatred mean for our relationships with our body? We are body and soul composites. We are embodied beings. Bessel van der Kolk: The Body Keeps the Score -- groundbreaking work summarizing how much trauma becomes embodied Another way for you to hate yourself -- or more specifically, for a part of you to hate your body. Examples of actively hating the body Active examples 4 Extreme cases -- starting with extreme cases -- Suicidal Acts, Body Dysmporphic Disorder, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, Self-Harm (aka Self-mutilation). Suicidal acts -- I did a whole series on suicide in this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast. Episodes 76-80 Suicidal part -- desperately seeking relief from intense pain and distress Other Reason -- these are the core reasons. -- review them in episode 76 and got into how parts are active around suicide in episode 78 The Desperate Inner Experience of Suicidality Attachment needs not met -- Episode 62 A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement Felt comfort, reassurance Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure Felt support for the best self Integrity Needs not met All of the above. Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity I exist my existence is separate from others -- I exist in my own right, a separate personIs bounded, has boundaries My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control. Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions. I can make sense of my experience and the world around me Mission and Purpose in life We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in life Body dysmorphic disorder Appearance preoccupations: The individual must be preoccupied with one or more nonexistent or slight defects or flaws in their physical appearance. Verbally abusing the body Body shaming yourself -- a part of you calling your body fat, ugly, physically unattractive, calling your body out on the perceived unattractive features -- my eyes are too far apart, my lips are too thin, my skin is too bumpy, and what about that zit that just appeared. Repetitive behaviors: The individual must perform repetitive, compulsive behaviors in response to the appearance concerns. Behaviors: mirror checking, excessive grooming, skin picking, reassurance seeking, or clothes changing. mental acts such as a part of you comparing one's appearance with that of other people. -- getting on tiktok and saying, that person's body is so gorgeous and I'm a just a pig. Ruminating about what others have said about your body or what they might say about your body. Sometimes it's all just in the realm of fantasy. Differentiation from an eating disorder: Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) is a rare, infrequently studied and highly secretive condition in which there is a mismatch between the mental body image and the physical body. Subjects suffering from BIID have an intense desire to amputate a major limb or severe the spinal cord in order to become paralyzed or to become blind or deaf. Self-harm or self-mutilation, sometimes called cutting Really not understood well by most people -- dismissed as something only a crazy person would do. It's a symptom. Forms include Cutting Burning or branding, scalding with hot water Picking at the skin, reopening wounds or severe scratching Carving the skin Trichotillomania Head banging Hitting oneself Biting oneself Self-poisoning Self-starvation (deliberate) Getting into fights Reasons for Self Harm The Punished Self, the Unknown Self, and the Harmed Self – Toward a More Nuanced Understanding of Self-Harm Among Adolescent Girls -- August 2021 Frontiers in Psychology Norwegian researcher Line Indrevoll Stänicke1 -- Qualitative Study of 19 adolescent girls Superordinate themes “I deserve pain,” “I don't want to feel anything,” “I'm harmed, and no one cares.” “I deserve pain,” “I don't want to feel anything,” “I'm harmed, and no one cares.” 8 Reasons for Self-harm Desire to release unbearable tension or providing relief from overwhelming emotions At times [self-harm] also silenced the chaos in my head, briefly pausing the repetitive flashbacks and body memories." Desire to regain control Fighting depersonalization -- "Self-harm proved to me I was real, I was alive. (mind.org.uk) Numbness can feel like death -- need to feel anything at all. Self-hatred Feeling the need to self-punish "I hated my body and blamed it for what I'd been through, so felt it needed punishing. (mind.org.uk) Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia “I wanted to kill the me underneath. That fact haunted my days and nights. When you realize you hate yourself so much, when you realize that you cannot stand who you are, and this deep spite has been the motivation behind your behavior for many years, your brain can't quite deal with it. It will try very hard to avoid that realization; it will try, in a last-ditch effort to keep your remaining parts alive, to remake the rest of you. This is, I believe, different from the suicidal wish of those who are in so much pain that death feels like relief, different from the suicide I would later attempt, trying to escape that pain. This is a wish to murder yourself; the connotation of kill is too mild. This is a belief that you deserve slow torture, violent death.” Blaming your body for others' actions romantic partner breaking up with you -- not attractive enough Being raped -- hating body because it attracted unwanted attention of the rapist. To express pain, communicate or share the internal experience to others, to make visible what is felt within. A way to distract from some worse experience, e.g. intrusive thoughts. Association with others who self-harm -- peer group. Five general characteristics of love from Bernard Brady -- looking at how they contrast with parts' hatred for the body. Love is affective -- love is emotional Hatred regarding the body Disgust regarding the body Anger toward the body Fear of the body Contempt for the body -- anger + disgust = contempt Fueled by envy of other people's bodies. Love is affirming Devaluing the body -- Body Shaming Seeing the body as evil De-facto Manicheanism All matter are seen as evil -- including our bodies St. Augustine adhered to Manicheanism for a while before his conversion, and then strongly refuted it. Hatred of the body. Love is responsive And love is responsive to the body's legitimate needs. or ignored. In self-hatred toward the body, those needs are condemned Love is unitive Can be a kind of separation of the body from the self. I am not my body. This is not by body. Love is steadfast So that is self-hatred. But self-hatred isn't actually the most common or important form of failing to love the self. What is the most common and most important failure to love the self? The great sin against the self, if you will? Indifference. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. “The Beloved Ego: Foundations of the New Study of the Psyche” by prominent Austrian psychologist Wilhelm Stekel. The text was translated from German into English by Rosalie Gabler and published in 1921. The quote was expanded and made famous by Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel in a 1986 US News and World Report article The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. Indifference is so, so common. We can be so indifferent to ourselves and to others. ― David Mitchell “The world's default mode is basic indifference. It'd like to care, but it's just got too much on at the moment.” Aristotle “Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society.” W. Somerset Maugham British playwright, novelist, short story writer The tragedy of love is indifference Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft wrote in his book Prayer for Beginners that Indifference is more truly the opposite of love than hate is, for we can both love and hate the same person at the same time, but we cannot both love and be indifferent to the same person at the same time What does indifference to the self mean to the parts The biggest form of unlove -- indifference. Define indifference -- an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical, virtual, or physical life. and the world. not caring about oneself. Disregarding oneself, Abandoning oneself, not caring about oneself. Wait a minute, Dr. Peter -- I thought that was what we Catholics were called to do. Being dead or numb to oneself Evil is the absence of good (privatio boni) -- privation theory of evil -- this idea was implicit in some of Plato's writings, but he never stated it implicitly Plotinus further developed the idea And St. Augustine really refined it. City of God: For evil has no positive nature; but the loss of good has received the name “evil.” Examples of indifference to the parts Lack of awareness Parts disconnected from the self or fused with the self have very partial vision Lack of caring Make up some examples here. Five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast. Love is affective -- love is emotional Apathy toward the parts. Not caring about them, not interested. Parts pursuing their own agendas inside with little regard for the wellbeing of others parts. Trauma begins in terror but ends in apathy.” ― Brian W. Becker ― Khang Kijarro Nguyen “Apathy is as dangerous, invisible, and contagious as an asymptomatic virus carrier.” “Apathy is a silent killer.” ― Frank Sonnenberg, Love is affirming “The stronger you cling to your armor of indifference, the more it strips you of your humanity.” ― Abhijit Naskar, No Foreigner Only Family Love is responsive “there are people capable of eating popcorn at the movie of your agony”― StephanieR oberts, Rushes from the River Disappointment Nina MacLaughlin, Wake, Siren: Ovid Resung “His eyes they held the most dangerous thing, they held the top of the sins. Indifference. Indifference. A vacancy where human care should be." “We may not choose apathy, but when we choose anything other than love and empathetic justice, we get apathy by default.”― Ken Wytsma, Love is unitive Love is never fragmented; it's an inseparable whole which does not delight in bits and pieces. John A. Andrews Love is steadfast Polarizations lead to tension inside and instability What does indifference to the self mean to the body Bessel van der Kolk: … traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: the past is alive in the form of annoying interior discomforts. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and in an attempt to control these processes, the often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings in a numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from themselves. Examples of indifference to the body Lack of awareness Parts disconnected from the self or fused with the self have very partial vision Less extreme, passive examples of indifference to the body -- we've all done at least some of these. Problematic eating or drinking Too much caffeine (hooked on energy drinks or coffee) Misuse of alcohol Overeating Too much sugar Too much junk food Eating to soothe oneself when upset, sometimes called emotional eating Eating when bored Skipping meals Smoking Not exercising at all -- too little physical activity -- or too much exercise Poor ergonomics Overdoing the screen time -- 10 hours a day on the computer is hard on the eyes Low activity levels 9.3 hours of sitting per day, more than 7.7 hours of sleeping today Not going outside Allowing yourself to get really sunburned or dehydrated or exhausted Not using the bathroom when you need to Poor clothing choices -- not bundling up in winter -- the man in the hoodie when it's 15 degrees out in wintertime, woman wearing high heels when it's not a good choice, Misuse of the smartphone -- using your smartphone in bed Poor sleep habits, going to bed too late Misuse of sex -- not caring for your body in sexual situations. Not getting medical or dental care for your body that would be good and right ignoring a treatable condition Ignoring symptoms Poor hygiene Five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast. Love is affective -- love is emotional Indifference to the body. Just not caring about the body, apathy toward the body. Looking at only the utilitarian functionality of the body. The body as a container or vessel for your mind or soul or psyche. Love is affirming -- indifference to the body can mimic detachment or poverty Love is responsive -- Lack of awareness about the body. Very disconnected. La belle indifference: The term “la belle indifference” is a French term, which translates to “beautiful ignorance.” La belle indifference is defined as a paradoxical absence of psychological distress despite having a serious medical illness or symptoms related to a health condition. Not being interested in your body. Love is unitive Not seeing your body is part of you, disconnecting from your body Love is steadfast 1 Cor 3:16-17. Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If any one destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are. Experiential Exercise on Unlove -- the failure to love Cautions difficult material -- how and why we don't love ourselves. window of tolerance Upside -- Fight or flight, sympathetic activation Downside -- Free response -- dorsal vagal activation, shutting down, numbing out, don't have to do this exercise, can stop at any time, reground yourself no steamrolling parts Good to do this exercise when you have the time and space and privacy -- not while driving or engaging in other activities that would require you to divide your attention. Options Take what is useful to you Feel free to go your own direction if that seems what's best Feel free to pause the audio and really settle in and do extended work inside if that seems best Can have pens, pencils and paper to write down things that are helpful -- like a journal -- or to map out things, draw if that's helpful. Can pause the recording at points where you would like to have more time to do your internal work. A lot of gentleness with and for yourself. Moment here for your to really care for yourself. Luke 10:27 Love your neighbor as yourself -- we are supposed to love ourselves in an ordered way And that means loving the parts of ourself that are in need. With care and compassion If you get distracted, that's ok, that's common. You can just refocus, or if that's not possible, then focus in on that distraction -- get curious about why a part of you needs to distract you. Body scan -- locating -- finding. -- Call that a trailhead Tension in muscles Stomach pain or gastrointestinal distress Headaches Fatigue Could be other trailheads Images or dreams that come back to mind Memories, sounds, beliefs or assumptions Focus in on that one sensation or inner experience that reflects some kind of distress or agitation about you not loving you. That experience will lead you to a part -- we will call the part you are focusing on, your target part. A part that is not loving some other part of you in some way Your target part Might be hating another part of you Your target part Might just not be caring about another part of you. Your target part Might be trying to suppress or silence that other part. Listen in to what that experience, that body sensation or that impulse or desire or image or memory or belief. Really notice that target part. How do you experience it? Let's see if we can work with one part at a time. You can do this reflection and guided exercise over again with multiple parts if you'd like. But see if your parts inside can agree to let you work with one part. We are going to ask that one part not to flood you with its intensity. That's a safety thing. We are asking that part not to overwhelm you with its distress. We want to be separate but near, so that you as the self can have a relationship with that part. If your target part fuses with you or blends with you, you can't have a relationship. See if that part will agree not to overwhelm. Just ask it. See what the response is. If it agrees, then Really sense that part. See that part or sense that part, however that part is becoming more apparent to you. How old is that part? Some parts of us are very, very young. Even preverbal. Really listen to what that target parts wants to share with you, what it wants you to know. How is that target part trying to help you? What is that target part's good intentions. How are you feeling toward that part, toward that experience Compassion Connection Curiosity -- genuine interest Calm If feeling negative, can we get concerned protector parts to soften, to relax back so that you, as the self, can connect with your distressed target part? If not, focus on the concerned protector part. Really get interested about why that part is not ready to let you connect with your target part. There's a reason. Parts always have good intentions for us. Let your target part tell you all about what its experiencing with the other part -- the unloved part. Emotions Anxiety Sorrow -- deep emotional pain Anger Numbness Thinking -- assumptions, beliefs Really be open to these beliefs, asking protectors not to censor them if possible. Concentration issues. Behaviors -- why does the part do what it does? What does this conflict connect back to for your part -- when did the part feel the same way in your history? Checking to see if there's a concerned protector part trying to speak for your target part -- like a spokespart who wants to interpret the parts experience. See if that concerned protector part can soften and relax back and let the target part speak for itself. How is that part doing now? Changes in your body? Can the part feel love from you? xWhere are you with: Compassion Connectedness Curiosity Calm Winding up Can write down what you learned, what was helpful, what came to you -- giving your parts a voice on paper. Can do this exercise again with a different part Gratitude for all your parts -- all have good intentions are trying to help This doesn't have to be the end of connecting with your target part -- doesn't have to be a one-off experience, can check in with that part again. Action Plan Looking ahead: next episode, number 98 -- ordered self-love -- now that we've covered all the ways that we can fail to love ourselves, we will be learning what it means for us to be loving ourselves in an ordered way. Fr. Jacques Philippe -- 2008 Book Called to Life: This self-love is good and necessary, not egoism that refers everything to "me," but the grace to live in peace with one's self, consent to be what one is, with one's talents and limitations. Love of God, love of neighbor, and love of self grow together and sustain one another as they grow. If one is absent or neglected, the other to suffer. Like the legs of a tripod, all three are needed in order to stand in each leans on the others. St. Thomas Aquinas -- bringing in some of the work of Dr. Mary Julian Ekman, Religious Sister of Mercy. Self-love is the ground of human action, where the conscious choice to love self transforms self- love into self-friendship. Proper self-love (amor sui ordinatus) is indispensable for perfecting the human person by making the soul more like God, who knows and loves himself by his very essence. This movement toward self-perfection is hindered by improper self-love (amor sui inordinatus) St. Augustine will also help us, as we explore how disordered self-love regards the self as an end, but ordered self-love sees the self as a means to the proper end of love. Promotions Ann-Marie Klobe -- Ready for Love: An online retreat for single Catholic women over 35 who are ready to connect deeper with their Faith, the Saints, and find a Godly relationship. The Ready for Love retreat airs October 3-17, 2022 So many single Catholics are operating from a place of disconnection, and my goal is to restore their trust in God's plan for their life, help them feel like they have a purpose in this world, and provide training on topics such as the Saints, forgiveness, beauty, and trusting in God. Anne-Marie did an extended experiential exercise with me as part of this retreat. She discovered and explored some hidden reasons that could be obstacles in romantic intimacy. She did some beautiful work that she will share with the women who attend the retreat. Anne Marie and I are also planning for me to do a 60-minute live Q&A for the Ready for Love retreat -- where the women on the retreat can bring their questions to me about the ways that they reject ourselves as persons, the ways in which they refuse to love themselves, what it would mean to be married, and about discovering their primary identity as a beloved daughter of God. The website for the retreat was not quite up yet at recording time. You can go to Anne Marie Klobe's website -- https://www.anne-marieklobe.com I will be letting you know more about it and provide links in the weekly reflections that I email out on September 14 and 21-- if you haven't been getting the weekly email reflections, sign up for them, and have them delivered to your email inbox every Wednesday. Go to Souls and Hearts.com and click the box that says "Get Dr. Peter's weekly reflection in your email inbox each Wednesday. Those weekly reflections are deep dives that I write each week about critical human formation topics -- those weekly reflections are the written companions to this podcast. The Resilient Catholics Community. The RCC. I am inviting you on an adventure of being loved and of loving. That is what the Resilient Catholic Community is all about. Check it out at soulsandhearts.com/RCC The RCC is all about working through your human formation issues -- the ones that lead to all the unlove you have for yourself. The self-hatred and the indifference to self, the failures to love yourself in an ordered way, so that you can love got with all of your being -- with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole mind and all your strength, with every fiber of your being. It's all about learning to be gentle but firm with yourself -- it's all about integration. It's all about resilience. All about restoration -- recovering from being dominated by shame, fear, anger, sadness, pessimism, whatever your struggle is in the depths of your human formation We do this work experientially -- so many experiential exercises -- so we work not just in your head, and not just in your soul, but also in your heart. And we do the work step by step -- in a very clear program. Check it out at soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- we open registration for new members every June and December. I'm inviting you to join me and more than 100 other faithful Catholics on this pilgrimage to much better human formation. Get on the waiting list for the cohort that begins in December 2022. soulsandhearts.com/rcc Talk with me about it in conversation hours call my cell 317.567.9594 any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time for conversation hours.
In 2003, JET's Are You Gonna Be My Girl was one of the biggest songs on the planet. It was so big, Apple even used it for their first iPod ad. Remember? The one with the dancing silhouettes on the colourful backgrounds? Yeah, that was JET. As the bass player for JET, Mark Wilson has lived the dream of any musician. He's toured the world and played to packed stadiums, and even stood with Beyonce and Jay Z at the MTV Video Music Awards before playing on stage in front of them. But Mark has also been dealt with some of the most challenging tragedies we can face. In this emotional episode, Mark talks about the good times and the bad times and how he's dealt with loss in his life. After the interview, Hugh talks with Ryan and Josh about some practical ways we can all deal with loss and trauma in our own lives. To watch Bessel van der Kolk's "6 ways to to heal trauma without medication" on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3q7FnEH To read or purchase book recommendation, "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3BdSPgH
Inner child healing, anyone? The truth is, inner child healing is a pre-requisite for us to live a truly fulfilling life. I am so excited to share the news that Arun Sardana is building the world's biggest inner child healing collective, called Karuna. Do you feel that something is preventing you from living your life to the fullest? Do you feel that you can't pinpoint why you are not quite content with your life? Maybe it's time for you to connect with your inner child.For more information about Karuna collective, visit:www.accesskarua.com www.karunahappinessfoundation.org 5 ways to get involved with Karuna collective:As a practitioner of any healing modalitiesAs a consumer of those healing modalities for your own inner child healingAs a content creatorAs a media personAs a non-profit organization working with abandoned children and survivors of child traffickingBooks & resources mentioned in this episode:“The Element: How finding your passion changes everything”: https://www.sirkenrobinson.com/product/the-element-how-finding-your-passion-changes-everything/Ron Young: https://healingwisdom.com/en/page2/page2.html“What happened to you? - Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing” by Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250223210/whathappenedtoyou“The body keeps the score - Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk:https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score"Journal - Whispers from your soul" is here! Give yourself and your loved ones a gift of self-care!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B2J8785P/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i0Let's connect!Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/masakozawa_photographyFacebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/151528407196525Website: https://masakozawa.com/Support the show
After reading through "Draw the Circle", a 40-day prayer challenge, Virginia and Natalie reflect upon Natalie's pilgrimage to R.E.S.T. and how she learned to speak to the mountains in her life. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
Thanks to Sharesight for sponsoring this episode! 4 Months FREE of Sharesight Portfolio Tracking http://bit.ly/sharesight-younginvestors In this week's episode, we discuss the BBBY bubble and Ryan Cohen's involvement, plus inflation data out of the UK and EU, big news out of China. The Young Investors Podcast explores the ideas of Value Investing, ideas that that were originally formed by successful investors such as Ben Graham, Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. The show is run by two young Australian investors; Hamish Hodder and Brandon van der Kolk, who both run their own investing related YouTube channels.
Do you ever notice that you're completely clenched up? As in, your neck has gone missing. Your jaw is a vice grip. What IS it about the neck and jaw area? And I'm curious if this part of the body might be particularly “clenchy” for people with tendencies towards perfectionism and people pleasing. Is this area a proverbial lint trap for all the things we don't say, for fear of confrontation or being disliked? My guest for this exploration is Dominique Antiglio, an acclaimed Sophrologist, best-selling author of “The Life-Changing Power of Sophrology”, and Founder of leading online Sophrology platform, BeSophro. She's a regular speaker for Amazon, Asics, the World Economic Forum, the UK government, and gives master classes to the Soho House, Lululemon and many others. You'll learn why we tend to hold tension in the jaw and neck area, and some brilliant techniques to unclench. Oh! There's also a cameo with a special guest. Punchy, practical and jaw-changing. Join us! Dominique Antiglio's website: https://be-sophro.com/about-dominique/ Dominque on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/besophrolondon/ Suzy Reading's website: https://www.suzyreading.co.uk Suzy Reading on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suzyreading/ Julie Peters' article: https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/the-spiritual-meaning-of-jaw-pain Bessel van der Kolk's book: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_2?crid=8RQYLPDG2IHJ&keywords=bessel+van+der+kolk%27s+the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1661101611&sprefix=bessel%2Caps%2C178&sr=8-2 Mandy Lehto on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandylehto/
In today's bookend episode to our special summer series, I get to introduce to you Shellie Cook, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Co-Owner of Cornerstone Wellness Center in Auburn, Maine. Shellie's training and experience working with tools like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Emotional Freedom Technique, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and so much more have changed the lives of her patients. In this conversation, she shares encouragement and guidance in how an integrated approach to emotional health, in which the whole person is recognized and validated, is changing the way we experience counseling, and improve our experience of life, and how it begins with listening and tuning in to what's really happening and what we truly need. I know you will be blessed by this conversation, and if you know someone who would enjoy it I encourage you to pass it along. A few of the resources mentioned in the podcast include: “The Body Keeps the Score,” by Bessel van der Kolk; Laney Rosenzwieg and the Rapid Recovery Foundation www.artworksnow.com; Stephen Porges's written works; myriad podcast interviews with Maine counselor Deb Dana, LCSW; and Mindful Magazine. Shellie invited those in need of support to call the Cornerstone Counseling team at 207-376-4981.
Dr. Lee Cowden returns to continue the conversation regarding the physical consequences of grief we currently see in society through illnesses such as ALS and other neurodegenerative diseases. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
Thanks to Sharesight for sponsoring this episode! 4 Months FREE of Sharesight Portfolio Tracking http://bit.ly/sharesight-younginvestors In this week's episode, we discuss how we got into investing, our favourite investing books, and the best investing quotes to live by! The Young Investors Podcast explores the ideas of Value Investing, ideas that that were originally formed by successful investors such as Ben Graham, Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. The show is run by two young Australian investors; Hamish Hodder and Brandon van der Kolk, who both run their own investing related YouTube channels.
#117 | The Art of Practicing Book Club: "The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind & Body in the healing of trauma" + how to apply the concepts In this episode, fellow Reiki & Dowsing Energy Practitioner and Life Coach Brigitta Dau and I chat about "The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind & Body in the healing of trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk about the way the body responds to psychological trauma. This book was released in 2014 and it became one of the most widely read books in the pandemic world. The Body Keeps the Score is the inspiring story of how a group of therapists and scientists— together with their courageous and memorable patients—has struggled to integrate recent advances in brain science, attachment research, and body awareness into treatments that can free trauma survivors from the tyranny of the past. These new paths to recovery activate the brain's natural neuroplasticity to rewire disturbed functioning and rebuild step by step the ability to “know what you know and feel what you feel.” They also offer experiences that directly counteract the helplessness and invisibility associated with trauma, enabling both adults and children to reclaim ownership of their bodies and their lives. We wanted to give a Trigger Warning. We are going to talk about where trauma comes from & how it possibly manifests. We're just giving you some advance warning so you can take care of yourself. Some symptoms require immediate emergency care. If you or someone you know is thinking about harming themselves or others or attempting suicide, seek help right away: Call 911 for emergency services or go to the nearest emergency room. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741). Also, the National Institute of Mental Health has some resource information here: https://www.nimh.nih.gov We talk about how to layer tools, tips, resources, and so much more. Tune in. Sending Reiki to anyone who wishes to receive for highest good.
This is an introduction to the practice of Somatics, which was originated by Thomas Hanna and has been a part of many different practice traditions. In Greek, the term “soma” refers to “the living body in its wholeness.” This living, breathing, self-sensing, self-aware, and self-moving perception from inside out differs from the concept of body. Somatics draws from the traditions of Feldenkrais, Alexander technique, and practices observed by Elsa Gindler. For more details on this work, please refer to Thomas Hanna's books The Body of Life: Creating New Pathways for Sensory Awareness and Fluid Movement and his classic Somatics: Reawakening The Mind's Control of Movement, Flexibility and Health. Rather than “mind over matter” our new understanding is “sensory over motor.” I describe reflex patterns that become habituated in our bodies: red light reflex, green light reflex, and trauma reflex. Then I explain how this interconnection of our bodies and minds as inextricably linked feedback loops means that we can work with our bodies to release stuck emotions and patterns. Another reference I mentioned in this episode is The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk. The Somatics of Self-Confidence YouTube video (25 min recorded class) can be found at this link. Are you enjoying this podcast? Would you mind taking a minute or two to leave me a review on your podcast player of choice? Thank you! It is greatly appreciated. To get in touch to let me know how these episode are landing for you, please use my contact page. If you believe you could benefit from some 1:1 mentoring or coaching, feel free to schedule a complimentary call with me using this scheduling link.
Today on Boston Public Radio: We begin the show by asking listeners about the Biden administration's recent string of wins ahead of the midterms. Adam Reilly & Saraya Wintersmith shares their perspectives on the latest in Mass. politics, including the fallout of the Boston Globe's reporting on past sexual assault allegations of Suffolk County DA candidate and City Councilor Ricardo Arroyo, as well as the races for governor and secretary of state. Reilly is a correspondent for GBH News. Wintersmith covers Boston City Hall for GBH News. Marcella García continues the discussion surrounding the race for Suffolk County DA, and then discusses some of her latest columns about the Mass. legislature passing a law which allows undocumented people to get a drivers liscence, and accusations of a lack of care from an East Boston Neighborhood Health Center. García is an op-ed columnist for the Boston Globe. Paul Reville breaks down President Joe Biden's student loan forgiveness plan, and discussed raised MCAS standards in the Commonwealth, and debate over whether K-12 students ought to be guaranteed recess. Reville is Massachusetts' former secretary of education and a professor at Harvard University's Graduate School of Education, where he also runs the Education Redesign Lab. Dr. Trisha Pascricha talks about her latest column raising ethical questions surrounding pre-surgery pregnancy tests post Dobbs, the recent colonoscopy craze and its complications, and the way that vacations can affect our…regularity. Pascricha is a neurogastroenterologist at Mass. General Hospital and a writer. Nick Quah gives us his latest podcast recommendations, including Jamie Loftus' Ghost Church, Marc Smerling's Crooked City, Susan Orlean's Book Exploder, Double Elvis Productions' Lust for Live: Boston and Nick van der Kolk's Love & Radio. Quah is Vulture's podcast critic. We end the show by talking about whether advancing robot technology is worrying to them.
In this solo episode, I riff a little on a new-to-me concept--body attunement. I talk about what I'm learning and how I'm applying it to my life. This episode is for you if **You're tired of listening to "experts" and still feeling stuck **You feel like you've basically got this whole life thing down pat and yet also feel like something's missing **You're curious about a new way to define our relationships with ourselves. Links-- Pause Breathwork--https://www.pausebreathwork.com/ The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD My website My Instagram My TikTok--@embodylife
In this week's episode Leah shares some of the responses she received from her recent blog post, The Rise of Empowered, Single Women,” in response to the trending post, “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men ” (which we talked about in last week's episode). This conversation leads into a discussion about unhealthy and abusive relationships and Kayla opens about about her past abusive relationship. We talk about narcissistic abuse and pathological love relationships and why it can be difficult to detect initially, as well as leave these types of relationships. We discuss the patterns of abuse and some of the red flags to watch out for, as well as offer some resources and tools for our listeners on the topic. Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma-ebook/dp/B00G3L1C2K/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2IGQ5FXA34W2D&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1661046126&s=digital-text&sprefix=the+bod%2Cdigital-text%2C160&sr=1-1 If He's so Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad by Avery Neal https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Great-Why-Feel-Bad-ebook/dp/B073NP3YXS “The Rise of Empowered, Single Women” by Leah Aguirre https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-dating/202208/the-rise-empowered-single-women Domestic Violence Support https://www.thehotline.org/
International author, educator, Cardiologist and Integrative Physician, Dr. Lee Cowden, expounds on last week's episode by connecting the physical symptoms of diseased states to their spiritual roots. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
Abuse steals out identity. This episode focuses on how abuse changes us and how we can begin the journey to healing and recovery. COMPLEX PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker https://amzn.to/3RCx7rN The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk: https://amzn.to/3TLagfv Overcoming Toxic Parenting by Rick Johnson: https://amzn.to/3wXlBPO https://liveboldandbloom.com/08/emotional-abuse/healing-from-emotional-abuse
Thanks to Sharesight for sponsoring this episode! 4 Months FREE of Sharesight Portfolio Tracking http://bit.ly/sharesight-younginvestors In this week's episode, we discuss what the big name investors were buying in Q2 of 2022. We cover names such as Buffett, Spier, Pabrai, Ackman, Burry and more! The Young Investors Podcast explores the ideas of Value Investing, ideas that that were originally formed by successful investors such as Ben Graham, Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. The show is run by two young Australian investors; Hamish Hodder and Brandon van der Kolk, who both run their own investing related YouTube channels.
Thanks to Sharesight for sponsoring this episode! 4 Months FREE of Sharesight Portfolio Tracking http://bit.ly/sharesight-younginvestors In this week's episode, we discuss the latest US Inflation data, Disney and DeliveRoo earnings and Elon Musk sells more Tesla stock. The Young Investors Podcast explores the ideas of Value Investing, ideas that that were originally formed by successful investors such as Ben Graham, Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. The show is run by two young Australian investors; Hamish Hodder and Brandon van der Kolk, who both run their own investing related YouTube channels.
People don't realize how long ago "long ago" wasn't. We're not talking about two, three, four hundred years ago. My family always stressed working somewhere your employer respects you, because it wasn't that long ago they didn't have a choice.Nyasha GreenWe're rebooting Post Status Excerpt as a weekly chat between Nyasha Green and Dan Knauss (and guests—please join us!) about a few of the active topics and discussions in the WordPress community that we feel are most important. Big thanks to David Bisset in his former role as host and curator here, and also to our intern and post-production engineer, Olivia Bisset.This week we're talking about pay transparency. Ny relates some personal experiences where an employer did not disclose pay or how employees were selected for raises. This leads us into a discussion of pay transparency in the hiring process — how it matters to everyone but especially job seekers who are black, indigenous, and other people of color. (Ny has written about this before, and Piccia Neri has been investigating the topic lately.) We also talk about how a lack of transparency can seem to emphasize an employer's distrust and an employee's disadvantaged position — and the effect that can have on a workplace culture.Next, we talk about our own family histories which are touched — in living memory in Ny's case — by slavery and colonialism where work and dignity were extracted from some people by others with the power take their labor without compensation. Ny's great grandfather was born a slave in South Carolina in 1858 and lived until 1963. Dan's ancestors include German settlers in North Carolina who abandoned their earlier beliefs against slavery and began to practice it in the late 1700s. In the Americas and beyond, the past is much closer than we often assume, especially for BIPOC people. History only “bends toward justice” if people choose to bend it that way. It can also go the other way.Finally, we close with how Allie Nimmons experienced a surprising level of hostility to a survey she presented to the WordPress community about the ways we contribute to the project and how we feel about it. There's the community we have now — and the community we need to become. How do we get there? What are the barriers? How can you help?
Board certified in functional medicine, Dr. Heidi Arens, a family nurse practitioner and prior coworker of Virginia's expounds on the physiological manifestations of grief and the power in addressing the root of the symptoms. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
In this episode, Courtenay invites Sebastien Powell to the show to discuss his investigations of modern-day medical tyranny and deception. Sebastien is a former software engineer turned medical truth warrior, well-known for his opinion pieces on Substack and Twitter. This conversation emphasizes the misinformation regarding HIV/AIDS transmission, germ theory and contagion, plus the manipulation of words to mask potential biowarfare. His insight will inspire you to begin looking into the history of what you've been told to accept and discover a new layer of truth that lies beneath it. Episode Resources: The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. What Really Makes You Ill? by Dawn Lester and David Parker Toxemia: The Basic Cause of Disease by John Tilden Connect with Sebastien: Twitter: @sebpowell Substack: https://sebastienpowell.substack.com Truth Social: @sebpowell ————————————————— Disclaimer: this is intended to be inspiration & entertainment. We aim to inform, inspire & empower. Guest opinions/ statements are not a reflection of the host or podcast. Please note these are conversational dialogues. All statements and opinions are not necessarily meant to be taken as fact. Please do your own research. Thanks for watching! ————————————————— Follow & Connect with Courtenay: https://www.courtenayturner.com Twitter: Courtenay Turner (@CourtenayTurner): https://twitter.com/CourtenayTurner?s=20 Instagram: https://instagram.com/kineticcourtz?utm_medium=copy_link Telegram: https://t.me/courtenayturnerpodcastcommunity Read some of her articles: https://www.truthmatters.biz ————————————————— Listen to the podcast here! https://linktr.ee/courtenayturner ————————————————— Video Edited By Griffo Productions www.griffoproductions.com ————————————————— ©2022 All Rights Reserved Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This emotion is a biggie. Did you know that 1/3 of all adults in the US will be affected by an anxiety disorder in their lifetime with fewer than half seeking treatment? I have a personal relationship with anxiety. Before I share my story, let's define what we're discussing. Anxiety: An emotion characterized by feelings of tension, and worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. It's worth mentioning that when we talk about emotions there are traits and states. When you hear the difference, it will help you identify and work through anxiety in your life. There's also another type of anxiety referred to as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It is defined as a condition of excessive worry about everyday issues and situations. It lasts longer than 6 months and in addition to feeling worried you may also feel restlessness, fatigue, trouble concentrating, irritability, increased muscle tension and trouble sleeping. There's also something called functional anxiety. That's the anxiety that pushes us to study for the test or prepare for a big meeting. Once we do the thing (prepare, study) the anxiety goes away, having helped us do what needed to be done in the moment. There is help. I've dealt with anxiety for much of my life. Psychotherapy for one, and other strategies can help us recognize the cause of anxiety so we can take appropriate steps to remedy the situation. Hear how I tell the difference between my internal anxiety and the intuitive messages that I also receive. My story is likely much different than yours, but it will help you understand what to do in the moment. Anxiety needs to be understood and respected. We need to understand why it's showing up. What do we need to do and what do we need to learn? What can we do to calm ourselves? 1. Be slow to respond and quick to think. Do you have the info you need to respond? 2. Stay mindful of the effect being calm has for you and those around you. Calm is contagious! 3. Take a breath. Slow down, stay aware, name what you are feeling first. I share my personal experience about my own medication use. It's a personal choice of course, but I knew I needed to get my bearings and the medication helped. Once I had other tools and was physically healthier, I was able to stop the medication. Anxiety can lead to panic attacks. IYKYK. I've only had one and it was terrifying. There were no rational thoughts and I felt like my body and my mind were completely taken over. Is your experience like mine? What helped you? Yoga and meditation work for me. Hear the brain science on this as well. It'll give you another reason to give yoga a try. Be sure to try the box breathing technique. You can come back to this episode any time you need to gain calm and focus. Don't miss this week's poem: She Let Go by Safire Rose Resources: Show Notes: https://www.meghanthomas.com/blog Atlas of the Heart Book Study: https://www.meghanthomas.com/atlas-of-the-heart Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: https://amzn.to/3oVJpPL Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski: https://amzn.to/3SsDCio The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk: https://amzn.to/3SqGOei The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner: https://amzn.to/3bAxfbV Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
For many people, perfectionism is a response to trauma. It's not that you just want to do everything perfectly. So, when you are a perfectionist, you have this constant inner voice telling you, 'That's not good enough. You need to do it again.' It's a defense mechanism that we create which can lead to a negative mindset and inner voice that's a constant critic. That can then override these beautiful emotions like joy and love. Your heart resonates so many positive emotions but trauma can really override that in the inner critic. - Dr. Wendy Myers Are You Stressed Out Lately? Take a deep breath with the M21™ wellness guide: a simple yet powerful 21 minute morning system that melts stress and gives you more energy through 6 science-backed practices and breathwork. Click HERE to download for free. Is Your Energy Low? Get more superfoods to improve your energy, digestion, gut health plus also reduce inflammation and blood sugar. Click HERE to try Paleovalley's Apple Cider Vinegar Complex + Save 15% with the code 'JOSH' *Review The WF Podcast & WIN $150 in wellness prizes! *Join The Facebook Group An expert in detoxification and minerals, Wendy Myers, FDN-P, NC, CHHC, returns to Wellness + Wisdom to share her new Emotional Detox Masterclass, how trauma leads to perfectionism, how biofield tuning compares to talk therapy, and how your enneagram personality type impacts how you process trauma. Are you a perfectionist? Do you identify with being that way? Do you know someone in your life who is a perfectionist and just can't seem to let go of their strict behaviors? Discover why perfectionism tendencies are the product of unprocessed and unhealed trauma. Wellness + Wisdom Episode 461 Shop the BEST Organic Snacks at PaleoValley Save 15% with the code 'JOSH' PaleoValley's 100% Grass-Fed Beef Sticks Paleovalley 100% Grass Fed Beef Sticks are the only beef sticks in the USA made from 100% grass fed/grass finished beef and organic spices that are naturally fermented. Their 100% Grass Fed Beef Sticks are unlike anything else on the market. In fact, they were recently voted in Paleo Magazine as one of the top snacks of the year. The reason is that they are committed to making the highest quality, clean products that are free from problematic ingredients. Their beef comes from 100% grass fed cows raised entirely on natural grass pastures by family farmers right here in the USA. As a result they are healthy and happy. PaleoValley's Pasture-Raised Turkey Sticks Paleovalley Pasture-Raised Turkey Sticks were created to make healthy snacking easier. Their turkey sticks are made from turkeys who are allowed to live as nature intended... on organic grass pastures with plenty of sunshine, fresh air and room to exercise. The result of raising turkeys in such a natural way is a much healthier, clean protein with higher levels of vitamins, minerals, and omega-3s. Unfortunately, virtually all turkey in the USA is conventionally raised with a small portion being "free range" – a virtually meaningless term that simply means the turkeys were allowed access to the outdoors. However, most "free range" turkeys only have access to an outdoor dirt field with no pasture in sight. Their truly pasture-raised turkeys are given full access to outdoor, pesticide-free pasture with plenty of grass and insects for them to nibble on. Listen To Episode 461 as Dr. Wendy Myers Uncovers: [1:30] Understanding + Releasing Emotional Trauma Dr. Wendy Myers The Emotional Detox Masterclass Myers Detox Protocol Course 205 How To Live To 110: Wendy Myers What is new for Dr. Wendy since she was last on Wellness + Wisdom including receiving her Ph.D. The emotional trauma root from losing her father to cancer and why he was such an inspiration for her. Her passion in not just heavy metal detoxification but emotional detoxification and psychology as well. The journey she has gone on to better understand emotional trauma and how to release it. Her research and uncovering that emotional trauma causes over 65% of physical health issues. 304 Dr. Ann Shippy A breakdown of what psychoimmunerolgy is and its impact on our wellness. Childhood attachment trauma and why it is so common for health problems later on in life. [15:00] How to do an Emotional Detox What exactly an emotional detox is and the first steps someone can take to help heal themselves. Where we hold emotional trauma in the body and why it's so important to know that. HeartMath Institute The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk Why talk therapy might not be what someone needs to help them heal trauma. How sound and vibrational therapy go a step further to heal the trauma, especially that which is transgenerational, trapped inside our physical energy fields. The most common trapped emotions that people are holding onto unconsciously including self-hatred. Different loops Dr. Wendy found herself in including being in relationships with narcissists. How a lot of negative thoughts and feelings start when we're young before we're able to speak and that's why we're not able to intellectualize them. [20:00] The Top 5 Negative Emotions to Heal with Biofield Tuning 311 Mark Wolynn | It Didn't Start With You: Ending The Cycle of Inherited Trauma 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born Richard Schwartz, IFS Institute Breaking down what and how to help the top five negative emotions we all carry. The 52 other emotions a person can start to work on if that resonates with them. What biofield tuning is and how it helps a person detox their negative emotions. The origins of biofield tuning and how Eileen Day McKusick came across its healing properties. Eileen Day McKusick - Biofield Tuning Other methods of healing negative emotions including a bioenergetic software called NES Health. NES Health What called Wendy to focus more on emotional health and intelligence after helping so many people with their physical wellbeing. Harry Massey, Founder, NES Health How NES Health's program has helped her release trauma and heal her bulimia. The healing power of Epsom salts and spending time in water with plenty of it to release emotions. 423 Ryan Duey | Ice Baths: Cold Therapy For Weight Loss, Immunity, Metabolism & Mental/Emotional Health [28:00] The Safe Space of Detoxing Emotions Peter A. Levine PhD Exploring the idea that people might block out memories from their childhood without realizing it. The fact that we are all doing the best we can to relieve ourselves from our trauma. Breaking down how biofield tuning works to help people draw out their negative emotions. The various modules in her Emotional Detox program from tools like biofield tuning to looking deeper at human biology and proper health practices to address stress at the root cause. Detox symptoms that may come up during the program and how to address it when that happens. Practices for people with deep trauma like PTSD such as EMDR. [36:00] Why Talk Therapy Doesn't Heal The Root Cause The benefits of talk therapy but why it doesn't heal the root cause of trauma unlike other methods. Why Dr. Wendy didn't know why she had bulimia until doing an emotional detox helped her understand it better. How these practices help people stop bad habits like smoking and drinking without even really trying. Paul Chek | All is God 381 Aleks Rybchinskiy | Master Your Man: How To Live Life As A Powerful Creator 268 Understanding The Primal Self: Sara Gustafson David R. Hawkins Why we can't deny that frequency rules the world. Her path to creating the Emotional Detox program and what she found the most fascinating about frequency during her research. The problem with the Law of Attraction's message when someone has a lot of trauma. Why the Law of Attraction works so much better once you have released your traumas and negative emotions. [42:00] How Your Enneagram Personality Type Impacts Your Trauma Response How we can bring peace and improve the relationship between the mind and body. What an Enneagram Personality Type is and how that impacts a person's response to trauma. Examples of Enneagram Types and how they respond to trauma. How people can become a perfectionist in their response to trauma and how it drives their behavior. Why perfectionism can be a defense mechanism against trauma and negative emotions. How perfectionism overrides other emotions that are positive and beautiful like joy and love. Exploring other ingredients to heal the mind and the heart other than vibration. Why some people are able to take on larger stress loads but others can't and they may even face physical setbacks if they don't let them go. [47:00] Reclaiming Your Power from the Mainstream Media How you can navigate and not let fear and stress created by the mainstream media take over your mind and body. What steps you can do to take your personal power back from the mainstream media. Various positive things that have happened because of this chaos over the last couple of years as more and more people are consciously waking up. Why she believes that the dark is working for the light right now in the world as people's consciousness is expanding. The fact that chaos is always seeking order in the universe and how we're witnessing that unfolding right now. What she believes are exactly the negative forces in our world today. The popular acronym of F.E.A.R. - Forget Everything And Run but what came through Josh during a Vision Quest about this approach: For Everyone's Attention Responsibly. Why fear doesn't have to control us: we can be present to rational fears and let go of irrational fear. How irrational fears created by the mass media create a cascade of different effects on our personal wellbeing. What you can do to set healthy boundaries with the mass media and how much of it you consume. [56:00] Overcoming Doubt & Resistance The most challenging part for Dr. Wendy while creating this Emotional Detox program. Why doubt and resistance came up for her and these are also emotions you can work on with biofield tuning. How many people face resistance to doing the work and how they can overcome that. What wellness means now to Dr. Wendy since her last Wellness + Wisdom podcast interview. Power Quotes From The Show Over 65% of Health Issues Caused by Emotional Trauma "In my research, I found that emotional trauma causes over 65% of physical health issues. It's really a bigger issue than I expected for both little 't' and big 'T' trauma. There will be people with extreme cases such as PTSD but what's more common is childhood attachment trauma or developmental trauma because of an abusive or neglecting parent. This creates a cycle of stress in the body and a person can then develop a high-stress set point where they can be more sensitive to a stressor than the next person and it causes this cascade of stress hormones that can lead to this whole biological domino effect in the gut and brain." - Dr. Wendy Myers The Genesis of Self-Hatred "The genesis of self-hatred comes from how you were treated as a child by your primary caregivers. The reason why you can't talk or intellectualize away these negative feelings about yourself or your parents as an adult is because many of these abusive or neglectful situations happened before you were even able to intellectualize or verbalize them. As a child, you were not even consciously aware of what was happening and that is why talking about them doesn't really work. A lot of people aren't even aware that they still have these issues and you don't have to know what happened to you or what your negative emotions are to tune them out of your energy field." - Dr. Wendy Myers How Different Enneagram Personality Types Respond to Trauma "So many of us have this negative inner voice that can creep in and in the Emotional Detox program, we explore the different enneagram personality types that people have and how this changes their response to trauma. Based on the trauma that you have, your different personality trait(s) might be expressed. Some such as Type 1 or Type 3 might become perfectionists in response to trauma." - Dr. Wendy Myers Links From Today's Show The Emotional Detox Masterclass Myers Detox Protocol Course 205 How To Live To 110: Wendy Myers 304 Dr. Ann Shippy HeartMath Institute The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk 311 Mark Wolynn | It Didn't Start With You: Ending The Cycle of Inherited Trauma 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born Richard Schwartz, IFS Institute Eileen Day McKusick - Biofield Tuning NES Health Harry Massey, Founder, NES Health 423 Ryan Duey | Ice Baths: Cold Therapy For Weight Loss, Immunity, Metabolism & Mental/Emotional Health Peter A. Levine PhD Paul Chek | All is God 381 Aleks Rybchinskiy | Master Your Man: How To Live Life As A Powerful Creator 268 Understanding The Primal Self: Sara Gustafson David R. Hawkins Shop the Wellness Force Store breathwork.io Paleovalley – Save 15% on your ACV Complex with the code ‘JOSH' Seeking Health - Save 10% with the code 'JOSH' Organifi – Special 20% off to our listeners with the code ‘WELLNESSFORCE' Drink LMNT – Zero Sugar Hydration: Get your free LMNT Sample Pack, you only cover the cost of shipping Botanic Tonics – Save 40% when you use the code ‘WELLNESS40' Essential Oil Wizardry: Save 10% with the code 'WELLNESSFORCE' Cured Nutrition – Get 15% off of your order when you visit wellnessforce.com/cured + use the code ‘WELLNESSFORCE' M21 Wellness Guide Wellness Force Community Leave Wellness Force a review on iTunes Dr. Wendy Myers Instagram YouTube Facebook Twitter Pinterest About Dr. Wendy Myers Wendy Myers, FDN-P, NC, CHHC is an expert in detoxification and minerals. She is passionate about educating the public on the importance of long term detoxing considering our toxic world. She healed her own health issues through hair mineral analysis and developed a unique detox and supplement program. Wendy wants to help others do the same. Wendy's interest in nutrition began with the death of her father from esophageal cancer. Intuitively, she knew his chemo, radiation, and ten medications killed him prematurely. She vowed to find out what made him sick, why he died, what role medications played in his demise, and how she could avoid the same fate. The more Wendy learned, the more she realized that all the answers to health do not lie in our medical system. Food, detoxification and natural healing modalities must be used to compliment the advances in modern medicine.
It's Fragmented Friday! Fragmented Fridays are bonus episodes where I find quotes, encouragement, affirmations, off the internet and bring them to you for inspiration, perhaps a laugh, and to let you know you are not alone! Live Stream on Beyond The Rider with Bry The Biker and me: https://youtu.be/0nJv-zVkaYQ COMPLEX PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker https://amzn.to/3RCx7rN The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk: https://amzn.to/3TLagfv Overcoming Toxic Parenting by Rick Johnson: https://amzn.to/3wXlBPO
Thanks to Sharesight for sponsoring this episode! 4 Months FREE of Sharesight Portfolio Tracking http://bit.ly/sharesight-younginvestors In this week's episode, we discuss the latest US GDP data, how the US measures a recession, a slowdown in SPACs and IPOs, and the latest meme stock AMTD Digital which increased over 32,000% in just 2 weeks. The Young Investors Podcast explores the ideas of Value Investing, ideas that that were originally formed by successful investors such as Ben Graham, Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. The show is run by two young Australian investors; Hamish Hodder and Brandon van der Kolk, who both run their own investing related YouTube channels.
Continuing our conversation from last week with Katherine Vance, we enter a new series exploring the realm of grief through a horrific event nearly half of the women in America have experienced. *Disclaimer: The content in this podcast is meant for mature audiences only (18+) as some of it may be difficult to hear. Continuing to listen to this content releases R.E.S.T.™, Virginia Dixon from all liability. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)
Halee Wood talks about the effect rest has on our responses to the stressful circumstances in our lives.https://livesteadyon.com/Email Angie at: firstname.lastname@example.orgFacebook: @livesteadyonInstagram: @angiebaughman421Grab freebies and subscribe to the weekly Steady On newsletter at: https://livesteadyon.com/live-steady-on-newsletter/Looking for something not listed? It's probably here: https://linktr.ee/livesteadyonhttp://runtheracetogether.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/runtheracetogetherHalee's “Ignite the Holy Spirit” download can be found here: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/e2u2l6Halee's blog post on the egg, carrot, and tea can be found here:http://runtheracetogether.com/are-you-the-egg-carrot-or-tea/Halee mentioned:The Body Keeps the Score by Besse van der Kolk, M.D.Covered Podcast miniseries found here: https://linktr.ee/livesteadyonslō Podcast Angie mentioned:Steady On podcast #79 Chasing Rest with Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young found here: https://livesteadyon.com/2021/11/24/episode-79-chasing-rest-with-dorina-lazo-gilmore-young/Steady On podcast #100 with Halee Wood & Susie Crosby found here:https://livesteadyon.com/2022/04/20/episode-100-turning-tables-with-angie-halee-susie/Theme music:Heartwarming by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3864-heartwarmingLicense: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Eileen Laird: “Affirmations can really backfire, because you can feed that inner critic. It depends on your personality." Eileen, an autoimmune warrior and author, joins mbg co-CEO, Jason Wachob, to discuss how to use mindset to physically heal, plus: - Helpful diets for those struggling with autoimmune conditions (~06:40) - Myths about the mind-body connection (~14:48) - How to overcome your brain's negativity bias (~35:39) - How gratitude can help reduce pain (~36:45) - How to question your thoughts & why you should (~37:47) Referenced in the episode: - Laird's book, Healing Mindset. - Learn more about the GAPS diet. - mbg Podcast episode #192, with Terry Wahls, M.D. - You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay. - The Body Keeps The Score, by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. - Learn more about DNRS. - Learn more about the Gupta program. - mbg Podcast episode #28, with Byron Katie - Watch Byron Katie's videos. - Read Donna Jackson Nakazawa's work. - Check out mbg's invisible illness series. We hope you enjoy this episode, and feel free to watch the full video on Youtube! Whether it's an article or podcast, we want to know what we can do to help here at mindbodygreen. Let us know at: email@example.com.
In this week's episode, I sit with Julie McAllister, an experienced therapist who works to help people who have experienced trauma heal using a specific treatment called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). Julie has been a therapist for 15 years and is licensed by the Arizona Board of Behavioral Health Examiners and is a Nationally Certified Counselor. Having worked in the behavioral health field for the past 20 years, Julie has experience serving various populations, but has a special interest in working with first responders and veterans. She also has specialized experience working with members of the LGBT community, as well as individuals newly diagnosed and living with HIV/AIDS. Resources: What Happened to You - Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry The Body Keeps the Score; Brain, Mind, Body and the Healing of Trauma- Bessel van der Kolk, MD Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!
Summary: Real love (agape) is given freely -- but it is not received freely in our fallen human condition. Join me in this episode as we discuss the costs of opening our hearts to loveand the price of being loved fully, of being loved completely, in all of our parts. We review why so many people refuse to be loved -- and we examine the psychological and human formation reasons for turning away from love. Finally we discuss what we can do to get over our natural-level impediments to receiving love. Lead-in I am a rock I am an island I've built wallsA fortress deep and mightyThat none may penetrateI have no need of friendship -- friendship causes painIt's laughter and it's loving I disdainI am a rock I am an island I am a rock -- Paul Simon wrote it in 1965 and Simon and Garfunkel Released it as a single in 1966, and it rose to #3 on the charts -- why because it resonated with people. It was popular because it spoke out loud what many people's parts feel. The desire to become a rock, the impulse to build the walls, to keep everyone out, to repudiate love and laughter, to not need anything or anyone. Kate McGahan -- untitled poem I don't need anyone, I said.Then you cameI need I need! I NEED YOU. I needed you.What did you teach me?Not to need you.NOT TO NEED. - I don't want to be in love, anymore. I just want to be left alone. And no, I am not depressed or something. No suicide is happening here... I am fine. Trust me. Sharmajiassamwale So you want love. But you also don't want love. But you want love. But you don't. You do. You don't. You're conflicted. How do you understand this conflict within you? Can you and I understand this push-pull, this attraction - avoidance, this Yes and No within us more clearly. Yes we can. And we must. Or we will wind up always skating along the edge of love, never really entering in. And there are consequences for that -- and no one put it more succinctly than the English poet and playwright Robert Browning, who said: “Without love, our earth is a tomb” Intro We do want to be loved, but we don't. Why? Because we want the benefits of love, but we don't want the costs The Benefits To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. David Viscott If you don't have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up. -- Michael Jackson The costs. Real love is given freely, but it is not received freely in this fallen world. Almost no one talks about the costs of being loved. I find that so strange. People don't think this way. There are costs to receiving love, to accepting love, to allowing love in to our hearts. It's painful to be loved in this fallen world. this is not well understood by many people, especially those who are not in touch with trauma, or who haven't suffered as much as others Bernard Brady's 2003 book "Christian Love: How Christians Through the Ages have Understood Love Second sentence of the book, in the preface: "Loving seems entirely natural and being loved seems wonderfully good." Not to many people RCC member -- so glad you can discuss tolerating being loved. Real love -- Agape -- burns away things that are sinful within us -- it doesn't coexist with the vice within us. Bernard Brady: Christian Love, p. 16: "…love transforms those who love and those who are loved." Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven't loved enough.” ― Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love Change is scary “Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.”― Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment Real love also purifies us from anything that is not morally wrote, but that is disordered or dysfunctional or imperfect Real love is the greatest good. And because it's the greatest good, it requires us to give up lesser goods. Perceived good and actual goods. Coping strategies, crutches that helped us in the past Analogy of the safe -- limited room, silver and gold. Vulnerability I will lose what I have I will lose to possibility of being loved in the future I don't want to find out I am unlovable. I can't bear that. Because for love to be real, for love to be agape means me allowing you to love all of me. All my parts. My entire being Not just the acceptable parts of me in the shop window, those that I allow others to see. The greatness of the adventure of loving can be intimidating Love, in some sense, is nothing other than an invitation to great joy and suffering, so they shy away from it. Paul Catalanotto Refusal to love is also refusal to live The Catholic Weekly Dietrich von Hildrebrand those who "wish to linger with small joys in the state of harmless happiness … in which they feel themselves to be master of the situation … lacking any element of surprise or adventure. Let's go on this adventure of being loved and loving together. I want you to come with me into the themes of this podcast. I want you to really engage with what I'm presenting to you. Not just listen like the Athenians listened to Paul about the resurrection of the dead. Acts 17:32: Now when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked; but others said, “We will hear you again about this.” But they weren't really that interested. Only a few of the Athenians joined him. Stay with me in this Episode 96 of Interior Integration for Catholics, released on August 1, 2022, and titled "I Am a Rock: How Trauma Hardens us Against Being Loved" I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist, passionate Catholic and I am very pleased that we can share and engage with this information. Why do I think being loved is so important? First because receiving love is absolutely essential. It is our starting point in the spiritual life. And second, because most people will not realxly allow themselves to be loved. Psychiatrist and Harvard Professor George Valliant wrote: It's very hard, for most of us to tolerate being loved.-- That's been my experience as well. The vast majority of people have chosen to severely limit how much love they will let in, how much love they will tolerate. You can't love unless you are willing to be loved. 1 John 4:19: We love because he first loved us Look at the order here. God loved us first. We can't generate any love on our own. We can reflect love, we can channel love, but we can't create love out of nothing like God can. We have to cooperate in love and be open to love in order to love, in order to follow the two great commandments. That is what this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast is all about -- it's about preparing the way for you to have a much deeper, richer and much more intimate relationship with God in the three Person of the Trinity -- Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and with the Blessed Virgin Mary our Mother. A deep, personal relationship with God and Mary. That's what I want from you. And if you won't tolerate taking in real love, if you deprive yourself of real love, you are going to wind up in a de facto hell on earth. The most miserable people on earth are the loveless people -- loveless not because no one will love them -- but loveless because they actively or passively reject love. And so many people do that. And there are spiritual consequences to cutting ourselves off from real love. Our heart become small, they become hard, they become closed, they become fearful, they fester in wounds. And if we persist in refusing to be loved and to love, there is no other place for us to be in the afterlife than in hell. That's what I think hell is -- a place for those who have refused love. That's how serious all of this is. Eternal consequences of the highest order. Hallmark Movie Love What so many of our parts really want is what I call Hallmark movie love -- in Latin, this is rendered "Lovus Hallmarkius" Hallmark love. Yes, I've given it a ridiculous translation, but that because Hallmark love is not only a ridiculous concept, it's a dangerous one. I mean it. Really Dr. Peter -- all those sweet, feel-good Christmas movies? What are you some kind of grinch, to criticize Hallmark movies? I mean really, come on.. That's a bit much. Hear me out, hear me out. What is Hallmark love -- love is always just around the corner, painless, fun. They are delightful. Love is so gratifying and enjoyable, love takes away suffering. Clean and tidy. It's a myth. The Hallmark company is selling illusions. Their movie production arm is peddling falsehoods about love to an audience who wants what they are offering to be true. But it isn't. Kristine Brown captured this theme in her online article Living in a Hallmark Movie December 11, 2015 I want to live in a Hallmark movie. I want to walk down the cobblestone Main Street into the corner coffee shop where everyone greets you with a smile and a Merry Christmas. I want to move to a new town where you immediately become acquainted with everyone and your child makes instant friends at school and there's always time to bake Christmas cookies and decorate trees and drink hot cocoa with peppermint sticks. I want to live in a Hallmark movie. I want to walk my child to school holding hands and have him tell me how much he loves me and what a great mom I am. I want to live where kids don't make bad choices and parents don't make mistakes. Where the toughest decision is whether to stay in the small town where you grew up or chase after a promising dream in the big city. Where things always just work out. And the movie always ends with a kiss from your true love and snow. Always snow. But life isn't a Hallmark movie, not even close. Example of the life of Christ -- the greatest lover ever, who died in making the greatest act of love ever, and it was nothing like a Hallmark movie. We assume that we want love -- and we do. Or parts of us do Made for love and in love -- That's a beautiful line in the Litanies of the Heart, written by Dr. Gerry for Souls and Hearts -- "Lord Jesus, you created me in love, for love." Colossians 3:14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Discussion of Parts Reference Episode 71: A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others Definition of Parts: Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view. Each part also has an image of God and a whole religion developed around its understanding of God, self, and the relationship between God and self. Parts have different roles within the self system. Narrow slice of experience, very limited vision. Some parts don't care about being loved. They are focused on never being hurt like that again. They are focused on protection from harm, defending the self system against threats from others, very protective. IIC 89: Your Trauma, Your Body: Protection vs. Connection Conflict “I wished I didn't need an ocean of space to feel comfortable. I still wanted to be loved. Yet again I felt like two people: one who desperately needed a hug, and one who would break apart at the slightest touch. How could I get people to keep their distance without leaving completely? How long would it take for them to get tired of the way I flinched and evaded?” ― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager Using a metaphor to describe how trauma hardens us against being loved Overview Roots = unresolved trauma Single trunk -- shame Five Main stems -- acronym CRIES -- as in cries for help. C R I E S -- Each of these main stems is driven by shame in the trunk, shame that results from the unresolved trauma in the roots. Cognitions Relationships Identity Emotions Spirituality Each main stem has branches -- branches that cross and interweave in this big bush And the branches have fruits. Roots -- Unresolved trauma This includes the original trauma, original sin. Underground, not seen -- Check out Episodes 88 and 89 -- a lot about the nature of trauma in those episodes Primary effect of unresolved trauma is shame. Single Trunk -- Shame Discussed shame at great length in Episodes 37 to 49 of this podcast. Definitions of shame in episode 37: Shame is: a primary emotion, a bodily reaction, a signal, a judgement, and an action. I encourage you to go through those episodes again -- really get a grip on shame, because understanding shame is the key to understanding almost all psychological dysfunction, and understanding shame is the key to really comprehending why you have difficulties with your human formation. Can't stress that enough. Shame -- the central role of shame. Issue of survival. Life and death. Deep assumptions that my shame is so bad that it will kill me. Our protector parts assume they have a need to defend against our exiled parts that have burdens of shame -- protectors believe they have to keep the shame out of awareness, keep it buried, distant. They don't know that we can work with shame and the parts that carry the shame in collaborative, cooperative, constructive ways. Our protector parts don't know that shame can be resolved -- the burden of shame can be lifted and there can be healing. “When you're a child trapped in a situation of physical or psychological deprivation, you learn shame as an efficient, elegant mechanism of survival: shame simultaneously shields you from the reality that danger is out of your control (since the problem is not that you're unloved and deprived; it's that you're Bad) and prevents you from doing or saying anything challenging that might provoke a threat.” ― Kai Cheng Thom, I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl's Notes from the End of the World Go back and really get the shame piece of this. Main Stems off the trunk: Cognitions, Relationships, Identity, Emotions, Spirituality -- Acronym CRIES Emotions Stem: Five aspects Grief, Anger, Fear, Flooding, Shutdown -- GAFFS -- so many of these emotions are generated by the shame that results from unresolved trauma Love is affective -- Bernard Brady -- discussed this at length in episode 94 Love is a movement from your heart, your soul -- a movement from the innermost depths of your being. From your core self. So the emotions are intimately involved with love Grief Emotional reaction to deep sense of loss. Sadness about what you don't have that you need. Parts want to be seen and heard and known and loved by the one who might love you. All of you wanting to be loved. All of you wanting to be healed. So parts surge up, wanting to come to the surface. Parts that carry grief have never been loved -- never been connected with in an emotional way, never been included in relationship with your innermost self or with others. Never been seen. Anticipatory Grief -- if I allow myself to be love, I could lose that love. The one who loves me could die. Fear -- this is an emotion that drives so much fleeing from love. This really is the big one. Philophobia -- fear of love All of us have parts that fear love. Being loved arouses anxiety because it threatens long-standing psychological defenses formed early in life in relation to emotional pain and rejection, therefore leaving a person feeling more vulnerable. Robert Firestone Fears of being revealed Fears of vulnerability Fears of loneliness Fear of the unknown Fears of being hurt one more time -- like Charlie Brown and Lucy and the football, winding up flat on your back again. Fears of betrayal Fears of abandonment So much of this fear is driven by shame. All this fear is a barrier to being loved. “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.” Betrand Russell All the bruised lives, searching hearts ... Everyone wants a love story but few will risk what it takes to live one. - Donna Lynn Hope Flooding: Emotional overwhelm -- flooding. Emotions become all dysregulated. Hyperarousal -- moving into fight or flight mode. Intensity of emotions because very great. Often because old emotions from previous unresolved trauma are welling up -- parts that carry the burden of intense emotions want to be seen, heard, known and understood, they no longer want to be exiled, banished into the unconscious -- they want a voice, they want relationship they want redemptions. Paul Simon Don't talk of loveWell I've heard the word beforeIt's sleeping in my memoryI won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have diedIf I never loved I never would have criedI am a rock I am an island “Our biggest challenge is that we have an overwhelming desire for an extraordinary love story but low capacity to hold space for it in our nervous system.” ― Lebo Grand Dietrich von Hildebrand: Fear of losing oneself in intense joys or griefs Anger So much of this anger is driven by fear driven by shame Our protector parts can use anger to distract from fear and grief. Behind every angry soul is a wounded child that just wanted you to love them for who they are. Shannon L. Alder Shutting down Avoiding inner experiences is one of Nathanson's four defensive scripts for avoiding shame. Hypoarousal -- moving down out of the window of tolerance to the freeze mode. Example of an electrical panel, or breaker panel v-- metal box with a door down in the basement or utility closet with the main and the circuit breakers Fruit: We have a very difficult time tolerating being loved when we are not in our window of tolerance. Fight or flight mode or freeze mode -- we move very much into self-protection, to a focus on survival, on just perpetuating our existence. We're not open to love -- we've moved into survival mode, not seeking connection. We're not open to God. Fr. Jacques Philippe, Searching for and Maintaining Peace: The more our soul is peaceful and tranquil, the more God is reflected in it, the more His grace acts through us. On the other hand, if our soul is agitated and troubled, the grace of God is able to act only with much greater difficulty… God is a God of peace. He does not operate except in peace, not in trouble and agitation. We need that emotional regulation, that sense of being in our window of tolerance to be able to connect with God. So many times fear is identified as a barrier Fear as a result of shame drove Adam and Eve into the bushes -- hiding from God John 14:27: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. Cognition Stem Perceptions extremely sensitive to stimuli Very vigilant -- scanning for threats in the environment Negative self-talk I am unloved I am unlovable I don't deserved to be loved -- bred in families where there is conditional love -- unattainable ideals of perfection I will be seen and I will see myself. I might contaminate anyone who would love me with my badness. I won't live up to the love. Doubts fostered about goodness in the world, about the nature of others Skepticism about who actually makes the effort to love Demanding perfection from others before trying again. To have the chance of being loved we have to take a chance on being destroyed inside -- Jo Nesbo Pessimistic evaluation of the future No one will love me I will be deceived, tricked and then betrayed, rejected, abandoned Distractions Paul Simon: I have my booksAnd my poetry to protect meI am shielded in my armor Fruit we can dwell inwardly, on our own damage -- we can focus on our wounds. Direct our attention to all the things that are wrong with us and pull inward -- self-absorption, ruminating and obsessing about our defects, curling up inside to protect ourselves, not letting anyone in. So common. Or we can reach out and embrace love anyway. We can trust that parts of us may be seeing things inaccurately, thinking about things in ways that are distorted. Identity Stem Drawing from Robert Firestone's Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved? article on psychalive.org I am inadequate, unworthy of love “We accept the love we think we deserve.”– Stephen Chbosky Being valued or seen in a positive light is confusing because it conflicts with the negative self-concept that many people form within their family. Firestone Being loved can provoke an identity crisis Firestone Your identity, at least for some of your parts, can be very bound up in being unloved and unloveable Parts may not know who you are if you were loved -- such a radical change Very disconcerting to lose a sense of who I am, even if the identity is a negative one. Comfort in the familiarity of the dysfunction I know -- so I accept and even seek out rejection and failure -- they are familiar and harmonize with my life narrative. Deep sense of having to earn conditional love. But that is not what love is about “Love is not concerned with a person's accomplishments, it is a response to a person's being: This is why a typical word of love is to say: I love you, because you are as you are.” ― Dietrich von Hildebrand, The Art of Living Little or no ordered self-love -- we will be discussing ordered self love in the next episode. One of Nathanson's four strategies to cope with shame is to attack the self. Internal disconnects to survive the trauma -- horror of abuse Love relationships pull for integration Love is never fragmented; it's an inseparable whole which does not delight in bits and pieces. John A. Andrews And that integration will bring up the parts of ourselves that we have rejected as too scary, too unacceptable, too unlovable, too dangerous, too overwhelming, too much in some way to be allowed a seat at the table of our consciousness. Takes a lot of courage to really be loved. Ursula Wirtz, Trauma and Beyond: The Mystery of Transformation “I consider love to be the matrix for this transformation, which calls new being into existence. Love has the power to reawaken and bring to the fire what has been entombed or distorted by traumatic forces or has retreated out of defensiveness and self-protection. Without love and compassion for the fragility of human identity in the face of death and the reality of evil, the madness found in these barren spaces of the soul might not be meaningfully encountered. For the stripping away of the constricting cocoon of traumatic fixations and the untangling of what has become distorted and convoluted during painful traumatization, love is needed.” ― Fruit -- will we let our burdened parts define ourselves-- will we let those traumatized parts of us, and the parts that guard us from those traumatize parts be the ones to determine who we are -- with their limited vision and their narrow slice of experience -- or can we work gently with ourselves and allow ourselves to be seen through the eyes of those who do love us. Relationship Love affirms the other, love responds to the other, love is unitive -- love is steadfast more of Bernard Brady's characteristics of Agape, of real love described in episode 94 Effects of Shame Lack of trust in others Lack of confidence How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved. Sigmund Freud Fear of exposure To myself To the one who loves me “To be deeply loved, means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities... hopes, hurts, fears and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are, is the real you and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling, than complete love, it's worth the risk... reach for it.” ― Jaeda DeWalt Fear of rejection The fear of rejection makes sense: If we've had a steady diet of shame, blame, and criticism, we learned that the world is not a safe place. Something within us mobilizes to protect our tender heart from further stings and insults .The Hidden Reasons We Don't Let Love In -- John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT The one who loves me will hurt me. It's inevitable Fruit in the Behaviors -- all focused around protection from the other leading to relationship sabotage Undue criticism of the other --you are not enough for me. Withdrawal and isolation -- one of Nathanson's strategies for coping with shame. Paul Simon Hiding in my room safe within my wombI touch no one and no one touches meI am a rock I am an islandAnd a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries Avoidance Pursuing unavailable people I found myself in a pattern of being attracted to people who were somehow unavailable, and what I realized was that I was protecting myself because I equate the idea of connection and love with trauma and death.” ― Zachary Quinto Pushing others away Basically, love is scary when it contrasts with childhood trauma. In that situation, the beloved feels compelled to act in ways that hurt the lover: behaving in a punitive manner, distancing themselves and pushing love away. Robert Firestone “You push people away, Marley. You don't realise it, but you do. You close yourself off to anyone and anything that doesn't fit in your perfect little hamster ball of life. But you can't experience love only on your own terms. It doesn't work that way.” ― Kate Lattey, Dream On Aggression -- Fueled by anger. Attacking others is one of Nathanson's four strategies of coping with shame. Why do we attack? We are afraid, we are struggling with shame. “Those who love to be feared fear to be loved, and they themselves are more afraid than anyone, for whereas other men fear only them, they fear everyone. St. Francis de Sales Emotionally disconnecting from the relationship Out of anger. Harden my Heart -- 1982 Hit Sung by Quarterflash … I'm gonna harden my heart, I'm gonna swallow my tears, I'm gonna turn and leave you here Out of fear and shame “Many freeze types unconsciously believe that people and danger are synonymous, and that safety lies in solitude. Outside of fantasy, many give up entirely on the possibility of love. The freeze response, also known as the camouflage response, often triggers the individual into hiding, isolating and eschewing human contact as much as possible. This type can be so frozen in retreat mode that it seems as if their starter button is stuck in the ‘off' position. It is usually the most profoundly abandoned child - ‘the lost child' - who is forced to ‘choose' and habituate to the freeze response… Unable to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type's defenses develop around classical dissociation.” ― Pete Walker Dietrich von Hildebrand -- shrinking away from commitment. Difficulties receiving partial, incomplete, imperfect love -- as replacements for God's love Glazed carrots. Side dish, not the main entrée. Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life Lessons And Everyday Spirituality : Allow people to love you as they must love you, not as you want them to love you. Even God does not love us as we wish Him to. Learning to love is learning to accept love as it comes Spiritual Disconnecting from God, who is love. Human beings must be known to be loved; but Divine beings must be loved to be known. Blaise Pascal We to love God to know Him And so we have to find him lovable -- and so often parts of us don't find him lovable. Need for Faith and Hope -- Infused virtues. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us. Timothy Keller everyone wants perfect love... no one wants to be a perfect lover... - Author: Brijesh Singh Being loved by God is often even more difficult I John 4:8 "…God is love." Issues around God images (IIC 23-29) God is not as tangible, immediate Transferences to God Projections onto God. Edward Vacek: Love, Human and Divine: The Heart of Christian Ethics. The sequence in loving and being loved. (1) God affirms us; (2) God receives a; (3) we accept God's love; (4) we affirm God; (5) God forms community with us; (6) we cooperate with God in loving God in the world; and finally (7) we grow in a limited code responsibility with God. p.. 177 Problems with the sequence -- not tolerating enough contact with God to be affirmed, to understand him in a totally different way. 1 John 4:19: We love because he first loved us Active vs. passive refusal to be loved. Active refusals to be loved are more obvious Passive refusals to be loved are more common. Five attachment tasks Felt sense of safety and protection -- have to go through the valley of shame, fear, anger, grief Feeling seen, heard, known and understood -- have to tolerating being in relationship, being present. Feeling comforted, soothed and reassured Feeling cherished, treasured, delighted in “If your parents' faces never lit up when they looked at you, it's hard to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished. If you come from an incomprehensible world filled with secrecy and fear, it's almost impossible to find the words to express what you have endured. If you grew up unwanted and ignored, it is a major challenge to develop a visceral sense of agency and self-worth.” ― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma Feeling the other has your best interests at heart Love heals The more healthy relationships a child has, the more likely he will be to recover from trauma and thrive. Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love. — Bruce D. Perry “Love alone brings a human being to full awareness of personal existence. For it is in love alone that man finds room enough to be what he is.” ― Dietrich von Hildebrand, Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love “Trauma ruptures and hollows. Compassion mends and fills; love heals.” ― Na'ama Yehud There you have it from a trauma researcher, a philosopher, and a writer -- Example of Sr. Josephine Bakhita Born about 1869 in the village of Olgossa in the Darfur region of Sudan. She was a member of the Daju people Uncle was a tribal chief, well-to-do family At age 8, kidnapped by slave traders, forcerd to walk barefoot 600 miles to a slave market Over the next 12 years, bought and sold many times, at least 12 times Trauma of the abduction -- Forgot her given name in captivity -- consider that - - a loss of identity Owners varied in their treatment of her. Some were sadists Family of Turkish general Josephine wrote that as soon as one wound would heal, they would inflict another. another woman drew patterns on her skin with flour, then cut into her flesh with a blade. She rubbed the wounds with salt to make the scars permanent. She would suffer a total of 114 scars from this abuse. A total of 114 intricate patterns were cut into her breasts, belly and into her right arm I am definitively loved and whatever happens to me -- I am awaited by this Love. Action Plan You gotta pray Point is to focus on developing the relationship with the Persons of the Trinity and with Mary -- as a little child, a little son or daughter. Litanies of the Heart - the Litany of the Closed Heart the litany of the fearful heart, the litany of the wounded heart. Soulsandhearts.com/lit Books Intimacy in Prayer -- Personal Prayer: A Guide for Receiving the Father's Love -- by Frs. Thomas Acklin and Boniface Hicks. Fr. Jacques Philippe -- Time for God -- excellent guide for learning pray from a more relational perspective. I also like Fr. Jacques Philippe's book The way of Trust and Confidence Fr. Thomas Dubay -- Fire Within -- more of a Carmelite approach. If you haven't been to confession recently, go. If you feel like you can't go, I want to hear about it. Calling all Catholic therapists and -- Interior Therapist Community is starting our fall groups. 80 therapists and graduate students in mental health fields in community -- each of us working on our own human formation, but not in isolation. New Foundations experiential groups are forming -- and we have advanced groups. 2022 Webinar Series: Of Beams and Specks: Therapist-Focused Consultation - Peter Malinoski $30 Soulsandhearts.com/itc -- call me at 317.567.9594 or email at firstname.lastname@example.org Weekly reflection -- related to this podcast, delivered to your inbox every Wednesday -- We do get around to archiving them in the blog section of our website -- soulsandhearts.com/blog Conversation hours -- every Tuesday and Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern Time call me at 317.567.9594 or email at email@example.com. If I don't pick up, I'm on another call leave a voicemail. Patroness and Patron.