Total Recast

Merry Twilightmas err body! It is the greatest time of year so we are here to spread some Twilightmas cheer and discuss the greatest franchise of all the times, The Twilight Saga. We have vampires, we have werewolves, we have love triangles and battles, Six-packs, we got pre-oscar Rami Malek, there's our beautiful baby boy R-Patt, and of course supple Kristen Stewart. Sailor gleefully watched this entire franchise for the first time so we can discuss each film in-depth with intellectual and thought-provoking analysis. All kidding aside, Total Recast does want to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to our listeners and supporters while bringing something as silly and as stupid for you to enjoy during your Christmas break. All four hours of it. Yes, four hours.

For Total Recast's first Christmas episode, Sailor and Kane review and recast the 80's comedy classic Trading Places. The film tells the story of an upper-class commodities broker (Dan Aykroyd) and a poor street hustler (Eddie Murphy) whose lives cross when they are unwittingly made the subject of an elaborate bet to test how each man will perform when their life circumstances are swapped. We discuss how hard it is to replace a one-in-a-lifetime talent like Eddie Murphy. What happened to real comedies? Kane and Sailor disagree on if the third act works or not. Kane gives Sailor an early Christmas gift by uncovering a hidden gem that he has never heard of starring one of his picks and one of our beautiful baby boys, Eric Roberts. Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year!

Sailor and Kane review and recast Sam Mendes' 2002 crime film Road to Perdition that stars Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Daniel Craig, and Jude Law. We discuss why this fantastic movie isn't talked about as one of the best movies of the 2000s or really any best-of list. It's a film that is A+ in every aspect but feels like it has never been given the credit it deserves. Listen as we try to figure out why and let you know everything we love about this underrated classic.

From Sailor and Kane, we want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and decided to share our thoughts on this Turkey Day classic, Planes, Trains and Automobiles. We are joined by a special guest, Marmaduke Karlston, to review and recast this John Hughes comedy that stars Steve Martin as Neal Page, a high-strung marketing executive, and John Candy as Del Griffith, a goodhearted but annoying shower curtain ring salesman. They share a three-day odyssey of misadventures trying to get Neal home to Chicago in time for Thanksgiving with his family. The film received critical acclaim, with many critics praising it for Hughes branching out from teen comedies, and for the performances of Candy and Martin. We decided to put a twist on our normal recasting format where Kane plays studio exec as Sailor and Duke try to sell their casting picks to get them selected for the film. We discuss John Hughes as he transitioned from teen movies to more adult and family films. We also try to answer why this underperformed at the box office with three 80s icons involved.

Martin Scorsese's Cape Fear was released 30 years ago on November 15th, 1991. Sailor and Kane decided to celebrate this by reviewing and recasting this psychological thriller that stars Robert De Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, and Juliette Lewis. The film tells the story of a convicted rapist, who, mostly by using his newfound knowledge of the law and its numerous loopholes, seeks vengeance against a former public defender, whom he blames for his 14-year imprisonment because of the purposefully faulty defense tactics used during his trial.

"Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living, barely getting by, it's all taking and no giving, they just use your mind, and they never give you credit, it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it" Oh yes, there will be singing as Sailor and Kane cover the 1980 comedy 9 to 5 directed by Colin Higgins. It stars Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Dolly Parton as three working women who live out their fantasies of getting even with and overthrowing the company's autocratic, "sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot" boss, played by Dabney Coleman. During our review and recast of this movie, we try and answer why this comedy isn't talked about alongside other 80 comedy classics. We also discuss how timeless and how relevant the themes are here. Let us know what you think and if you remember the Jane Fonda workout tapes as fondly as Kane does.

Happy Halloween! And for the spooky season, Sailor and Kane are picking their directors for modern updates of the original Universal Monsters films. We discuss our visions for the updated versions of The Mummy, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein, and Dracula while also hand-selecting the director we want to helm each project. Let us know what you think of our picks and which directors would you like to see give their take on these horror classics.

Sailor and Kane review the recent release of David Gordon Green's “Evil Dies Tonight!”, oops I mean…Halloween Kills. Directly following the events of Halloween, “Which one?” amirite, Michael doesn't burn up in the fire but is accidentally set free to murder once again. And boy does he. With Laurie injured, new characters are introduced to try and stop this evil menace that has plagued Haddonfield for 40 years. We discuss where this entry ranks in the franchise and give a spoiler-free review at the beginning of the episode before diving into the movie by discussing it in a bit more depth.

Sailor and Kane review and recast one favorite, but albeit, a very flawed horror film from the 90s directed by Clive Barker, Lord of Illusions. We discuss our issues and just how close this horror noir was to being really good. This is is one of our first picks that could benefit from an updated take and we are here to give our take on it. Here are some things discussed during the episode: Where does this rank among Clive Barker adaptations? The "in your face" subtext. We take on sexual orientations. Kane fixates on tight pants. Somehow we get on a Taken tangent. We have a theory of why Marilyn Monroe was taken out.

Well, it's that spooky time of year so Sailor and Kane decided to pick a couple of horror movies to review and recast this month and we wanted to kick it off with one of our all-time favorite horror films. Rob Zombies The Devil's Rejects. We discuss our love and hate relationship with the polarizing horror director while also gushing over the damn perfect grindhouse flick. We talk about the tonal shift from House of a 1000 Corpses and Rob Zombie's ability to catch lightning in a bottle to showcase he could actually direct. Well, once at least.

Strap in because Sailor and Kane gush all over this film and spend an extra amount of time discussing one of our all-time favorites, True Romance. This 1993 crime romance film was written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott. It follows one of the coolest nerds and a call girl as they fall madly in love while they go on the run with a suitcase full of the mob's drugs. With the recent passing of the great Sonny Chiba, we take a moment to honor his incredible career at the beginning of this episode as Sailor runs down a list of some of his must-see films. RIP Shinichi Chiba. How would Tarantino and Scott's careers have been different, if at all, had they swapped movies like originally planned? We jump into a hypothetical discussion on what would have happened if Tarantino directed True Romance with Scott directing Reservoir Dogs. Also, this film is so loaded with such a massive cast that we had to cut some major names like Samuel L. Jackson and our supple baby boy Brad Pitt. But don't worry! We have plenty of recasts to throw at you along with some conversation on the differences between today's actors and those of yesteryear.

Sailor and Kane review and recast an Arnie classic, The Running Man. We discuss the differences between Stephen King's novel and the movie along with Richard Dawson's charismatic performance. Sailor goes off the deep end with his updated version but it might just be crazy enough to be great. It touches on a sensitive topic that would be hot button issue if made today while Kane may have just made the best pick in Total Recast history with his Killian recast. We also discuss the differences between memorable and forgettable female action characters. Why do some standout out above so many vanilla portrayals to become the standard? We have some thoughts.

On this episode of Total Recast, Sailor and Kane review and recast the Luc Besson action thriller classic, Léon: The Professional (1994). We discuss the amazing performances by the three leads that include Gary Oldman's iconic Stansfield. We also get into the unnecessary controversy surrounding the film before the episode goes completely off the rails as we take on the Oscars with their BS. Somehow we rant about Woody Allen and his creepy ass yet again, as we give out acting tips and find out that, of course, Sailor owns Madonna's Sex book. It's a whirlwind episode that could just be our last once the lame cancel culture, that we attack as well, comes for us. Check out our latest episode now and let us know who you would cast for an updated remake of Léon: The Professional.

Sailor and Kane take on the buddy road trip classic Thelma & Louise starring the talented and gorgeous Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis. We discuss possible castings before the movie was made, how Ridley Scott didn't want to even direct the movie, and of course, Brad Pitt's suppleness. Let us know what you think of our casts and who you would pick for a modern update of this classic.

Sailor and Kane bring on a special guest, William Dhalgren AKA Dhalface AKA Dhalbaby AKA The Oldest Man Alive, from ScreenAgeWasteland.com to discuss the 1982 action classic First Rambo. The movie that spawned the action icon Rambo and gave Sylvester Stallone another franchise to make money hand over fist. We discuss the book the movie is based on, Sly's career, the impact on the action genre among other elements surrounding this movie. Listen as we make our picks for an updated remake and give our take on the First Blood we want to be made. Let us know who you would recast!

Sailor and Kane tackle David Fincher's 1999 social commentary drama, Fight Club. We discuss the "dudebro" aspect of the film While alienating several fan bases in the process. Also, Sailor drools all over Brad Pitt's suppleness. Check out our review and who we recast for the major parts if this was to be remade today.

It's 4th of July weekend which means it's time for that annual Jaws rewatch and we thought it was the perfect time to give this Spielberg classic the Total Recast treatment. In this episode, Sailor and Kane invite fellow ScreenAgeWasteland.com writer, King Alvarez, to the show to review and recast one of the greatest movies of all time. We discuss how this is a perfect movie, an alternate universe if Jaws was a failure and how that would have shaped the rest of Spielberg's career, and our picks for the unnecessary remake.

Sailor and Kane have a special guest, Romona Comet from ScreenAgeWasteland.com, to help us recast the greatest romantic comedy of all time When Harry Met Sally.

Sailor and Kane review and recast the underseen and underrated Walter Hill's neo-western action film starring Nick Nolte and Powers Boothe, Extreme Prejudice from 1987. An absolute machismo explosion where just reading the plot synopsis and cast will put hair on your chest. We also get on a tangent about how certain tropes from movies have become engrained in our brain as real life. Join us while we discuss this incredible cast and who we see which actors from today we cast in their place.

On our first episode of Total Recast, Sailor and Kane review and recast Michael Mann's 1995 classic crime thriller, Heat. We discuss the TV pilot Heat was spawned from and the iconic scene where two of the greatest actors of all time share the same screen for the first time ever. Plus we discuss this incredible cast that was so extensive we had to cut big-name actors by not recasting them and we still recast like 15 characters. Check out the episode, let us know what you think of our cast and who you would like to see play these characters from today's actors.

Sailor and Kane review and recast classic movies with today's actors. We are not advocating for these movies to be remade but simply discussing movies we love with actors and directors we want to talk about so more people can discover them. Here's a Taste!