Cognitive Contortions

This week , the boys sit down for two and a half hours to talk about anything and everything! This week, in lieu of a Thanksgiving special, the fellas have an open, candid discussion; about what are usually very awkward and infuriating topics. Between the laughs, and the positive disagreements coming to a delightful conclusion; we hope you’ll spend your holiday travels, or stay at home orders, with us. Happy Thanksgiving Neewers and Goays!

This week for our 2020 Halloween special, the boys talk about Witches. The legends and history of the inquisitions, the witches of antiquity, and the possible real reason the church hunted them for almost 300 years. Lots of irreverent laughs, some fun, recently discovered possible theories, and a lot of literal shit talk at the front end. (Sorry about that), and Happy Halloween!

This week the boys discuss Psychedelics, life on or around Venus, and space in general. Tyler talks about a trip to a museum, Joey P. gives his best advice, and Ty just has an overall educational evening. We also have a brief and slightly flippant discussion about mortality so... trigger warnings and such.

This week the boys discuss the addictive tendencies of social media and the way it manipulates our thoughts and beliefs. We also talk state flags, Sleep Apnea, and Nic Cage divinity.

This week we dive into Bob Lazar and the recently announced UFO confirmation by the pentagon. We also talk old video games, Trump Sadlibs and reality.

This week the gang is all back together to talk current events and random thoughts! We talk about talking to our moms, pinpointing the moments that could have kept us from existence, and Trumps horrifically transparent interference with the post office.

This week the boys hop back into conspiracies and remember why they took a break in the first place. Tyler try’s to talk about aliens but gets distracted by potential child trafficking. Aaron attempts to break Tys arm in an attempt to save Scott, and Ty breaks down how poor we all really are. We also flush out some Unasian laws and constitutional statutes. And thanks for the use of our theme song to Koit and Time Ireland.

This week the guys catch up and shoot the shit. Tyler tells a story about his car he’s been sitting on for months, Aaron explains Ty’s only fault, (telling stories too often and repeatedly), and Ty lives up to that fault by telling some stories for a second and third time. We talk some more Nicolas Cage, stupid things politicians say, the Baltimore City impound lot, Hamilton, and Unasia.

The Goays are back and in here! This week Fellas attempt to form their own form of government. Tyler helps establish the economic system, Aaron establishes the main form of currency, an Ty establishes our one government agency.

We’re back Neewers and Goays! After a brief break and a little revamping, Ty brings you a Nicholas Cage centric episode, Tyler loses his mind over the Solo movie, (again), and Aaron expresses his feelings about bicyclists. New format means new theme song, enjoy!

This week, despite some technical difficulties, the boys hop back into our Alien and UFO series by discussing some of the most credible abductions in recent years. Tyler gets caught misspelling words again, Aaron calls Ty out on misspelling his attack on Tyler’s misspellings, Scott returns with his classic self offending humor, and Ty explains how the female reproductive system works. (He doesn’t). As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week the boys finish off their MH17 series with a bang! Tyler pitches the pilot for The Adventures of Mike Robial and Tricksy Racist! Aaron demands an answer to why and how pickles have no calories, and Ty tells a good old fashioned story about slicing his thumb open and calling Scotts Mom. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week the boys start a two part series on the Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 from our previous Grab Bag episode! Tyler explains what a Bukkake missile system is and how it works, Aaron admits that he thinks Harris Teeter is a craft store, and Ty describes the difficulties of shopping right now, and also calls out our listeners on not finishing our episodes, or reaching out to us. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week while the boys adjust to the new Coronavirus schedule, we bring you a Best of the 2020s compilation episode! Sit back and enjoy some of our favorite bits from episodes 20-29 while we prepare for our next topic: The MH17 flight shoot down from our most recent grab bag episode! As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week the boys are back and the prodigal host has returned, Scott’s in the house! The boys talk about books, eat pizza, and cover a variety of random grab bag conspiracy topics. Tyler desperately and futilely attempts to host a podcast, Scott points out that the pope has now admitted the Catholic Church is useless because you can just, “talk to god directly”, Aaron introduces us the the rapper, lil gen-z, and Ty explains why he can’t bring himself to read Scotts work. (It’s actually really sweet) As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week the boys return to finish up the Betty and Barney Ruble abduction! From a time before Coronavirus was a household pain in the dick, Tyler tells us how Bill Clinton first noticed Hillary Clinton, Aaron confesses that die to social anxiety he’s changed hygienic products because of the locks at Target, Joey P. details where Bettys alien star chart cock map came from, and Ty explains the best place to get propane when you’re trying to make some night burgers. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week, the boys get waaaaaay off the rails in a super chill, Corona adjacent episode. Tyler tried to give us some useful information about the current situation, but it will probably be out of date by the time this comes out, Joe phones in a friend to compare notes on how to handle a large Dick when you shit, and Ty educates is on the only thing that’ll really keep you safe: Asshole bleaching. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week the boys go over the hypnosis sessions of Barney and Betty Hill, but not until they go on a twenty minute rant about the scam that is medical insurance. Tyler gives the dictionary definition of the word, “incredulity”, Aaron asks, “What if insurance companies only paid to get things fixed once?”, Ty insists that Elon Musk’s Tesla is the first ever smart planet, and prodigal podcaster Joey P. returns to give a Cognitive Contortions PSA and bring some much needed skepticism to the topic. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

On this weeks episode the boys start a dive into UFO abductions. Tyler explains that if it weren’t for Mike Robial we wouldn’t be able to talk to each other, Aaron realizes humans are basically the dumbest thing in the planet because of how obsessed we are with stupidity, and Ty pitches his idea to fulfill our hopeful attempt to toss a car into a pool of Mac n Cheese. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

On this episode of the podcast the boys finish up their initial discussion on, T-Rex hands, "Reasons to believe Aliens are real", (they are). Tyler questions if there is a way to do a balls lobotomy, Aaron encourages that everyone look up what Mercury going retrograde means, (as a result WE go retrograde) , and Ty lays out the scientific laws of attraction when living in a Meth infested wasteland. Most importantly however: Who is Mike Robial? As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week the boys start digging into what will be our longest running and most stretched out topic: Aliens and UFOs. Tyler gives a delightful, though bordering on problematic, dramatized performance of an interview, Aaron has a panic attack after learning some fun space facts revealing how tiny we really are, and Ty gives us the scoop on having a bad back and how many teeth he has in his mouth. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Also a huge thanks to Zapsplat.com for additional music and sound effects used for this episode. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas, or segments for our show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

It’s another grab bag episode Neewers! This week the boys pick our next deep dive topic. Tyler explains why more and more people believe vegan is good, Aaron explains the rules of “corking” during a regulation baseball game, and Ty gives us his theory on how Trump would have handled 9/11. #MouthLong #TwoGirlsWorldCup As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

On this episode the boys finish of their discussion on fluoride. Tyler explains that being paid insane amounts of money to shake your ass on TV when you’re forty-three actually IS very empowering, Aaron walks everyone through his hygienic habits, (it’s all about the bearded deep clean), and Ty shares a traumatic moment from a petting zoo involving goats in heat. As a collective, the goays (hosts) implore our neewers (listeners) to take a vigilante approach and force others to put their shopping carts away under threat of cancer. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off of the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! You can also reach out to us @Ccontortions on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and you can e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week, (a whole seven calendar days later) three of the boys dive into water fluoridation! Tyler explains about the feminine wiles, Aaron explains he's basically fine with the practice, regardless if he or someone else dies, and Ty brings some awareness to transgender fish. As always a huge thanks for the use of our theme song, It's A Conspiracy Song, off the collaborated album Cautionary Campfire Tales, by Tim Ireland and the musician Koit. You can find their work here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! Or e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

On this episode of the Podcast, the boys do a random grab bag episode! We reminisce on some of our favorite bits of 2019,, and we talk briefly about False History theory, RFID Chips, 12th planet and space agency cover up theories, and mysterious deaths. Tyler leads the group into a star wars rant about the problematic racism of Star Wars episode 1: The Phantom Sciatica, Aaron explains how stupidly comes in 20 year cycles and how with the internet’s hell, now reigns supreme and Ty fills us in on then other potential nomenclatures Americans could use to describe themselves. (Usonions). As always thanks for the use of our theme song to Tim Ireland and the Musician Koit, who's work you can find here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! Or e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

The boys are back in the new year with some resolutions! Tyler Finishes telling us about MKUltra and confirms there was neither water, nor a gate involved in Water Gate, Aaron questions how many homeless were subject of MKUltra, Scott stays literally quite as the grave, but does make the best jelly rolls, and Ty goes through his morning routine and also notices that America is so pretentious we named ourselves the continent. We also introduce a new segment based of the wonderful comedy of comedian and writer Keaton Patti. As always thanks for the use of our theme song to Tim Ireland and the Musician Koit, who's work you can find here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively. Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! Or e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

A comprehensive look back on some of our favorite moments from 2019! We'll be off for the next two, possibly even three weeks. Hopefully this will get you by until then, and if you're new this is a perfect time to jump in! Happy New Years everyone, Don't let the Sciatica Getcha in 2020! Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! Or e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

As promised, Ty hosts the Podcast for a Hanukkah winter holiday special! Ty fills us in on the history of Hanukkah, Krampus, Santa relativity, and Santa's multiple Krampie. Scott returns Sciatica free, Aaron questions all of history, and Tyler brings a new segment to the show: The Last Blockbuster Tweets!

This episode of the Podcast, we’re joined by an all new guest host, Joey P! Tyler walks us into our new subject: MKUltra and some of their tactics. (Sounds below blow job level frequencies that control individuals minds), Joe attempts to transmit his aura somewhere Tyler can see it, (NOT his Anus), and Ty discovers that this whole Podcast is actually just a joke being played to make him feel better about shitting his pants. He also introduces us to a new segment: Florida Man! Scott is still away after the Sciatica got him, (seriously folks, don't let it get you!) - and Aaron is away working on his erotic equestrian fan fiction: Donkey Queef. As always thanks for the use of our theme song to the musician Koit: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 and Time Ireland: www.bloggerheads.com Check them out! Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! Or e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

The boys get into the Thanksgiving Day spirit with some good old fashioned role playing! Ty and Aaron take on the roles of Mavis and Marvin Murlburn - a loving puritanical couple, who are too horny for their own good. Follow the Murlburns across the sea to the new world with Christopher Columbus and first mate ScottJ_Moses! Tyler does his best to narrate and DM this thrown together original game, chalked full with some fun Columbus facts along the way! Happy Thanksgiving from Cognitive Contortions everyone! As always, thanks for the use of our theme song to Koit and Tim Ireland! Koit: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 Tim: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ And lastly a huge thanks to all the great websites that share public domain sound effects; and for all the amazing artists and contributors to free online sound effect and music websites for your awesome work and willingness to let others use your art for free. This episode wouldn't be nearly as wonderful if not for the following folks! be sure to check them out! A Christmas adventure (Part 1) - By TRG Banks; http://freemusicarchive.org/music/TRG_Banks/TRG_Banks_Christmas_Album/A_Christmas_adventure_Part_1 Sleigh Bells Ringing - Mike Koenig; SoundBible.com; The Anomoly - Tristan Lohengrin; https://www.tristanlohengrin.com/ Andromeda- Serge Narcissoff; https://www.free-stock-music.com/artist.serge-narcissoff.html Pirate Dance- David Fesliyan; FesliyanStudios.com Right Hook-SoundBible.com - User: 1406389182 Party Crowd- Daniel Simon; SoundBible.com Sea Waves-SoundBible.com - User: 946156036 Seagull Call-SoundBible.com - User: 1906765674 In The Clouds - David Fesliyan; FesliyanStudios.com Lastly, if you enjoy our show, be sure to share it with a friend you think may enjoy it, or leave us a review or rating while you're here! Or e-mail us with any questions, comments, ideas or segments for the show at Ccontortions@Gmail.com

This week the boys finish off the Flat Earth series with a confusing and question filled discussion with a fantastic guest expert, Astronomer and Physics guru Brian DiGiorgio. Tyler dives into the questionable laws in Australia, Scott spends one of his last days before heading to a farm in VA for a little while, Aaron's question meter is broken again, and Ty asks our guest expert the most important of the big questions: How do you feel about Turtles all the way down? As always thanks for the use of our theme song to Tim Ireland and the Musician Koit, who's work you can find here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively.

On this episode of the Podcast, the boys get so far off the rails, they’re not even on a train anymore. Tyler makes a drastic mistake and accidentally repeats a large portion of the last Flat Earth episode, Aaron shares his views on the Justice League movie and Warner Brothers handling of the DC film franchise, and Ty introduces us to his drunken litmus test, “Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers”. The boys also re-write the ending of Batman Begins, and Scott is away recover from the first stage of his sciatic exorcism. As always thanks for the use of our theme song to Tim Ireland and the Musician Koit, who's work you can find here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively.

On this very special Halloween special, the boys take a flat earth break to dive into werewolves; and have a fantastically intriguing conversation about lycanthropy and other Halloween creatures with author, speaker, clinical psychologist, and renowned parapsychologist Dr. Ciarán O’Keeffe. Tyler brings us up to date on the president. (Lower case P intentional.) While also revealing the long lost story of the Glorkins contribution to the werewolf legend through the loss of the belt of Clark. Scott takes over Theory, Truth, or Bullshit and shocks everyone with his extensive knowledge of werewolves. Aaron asks the prefect questions while also pointing out the pros and cons of living to 30 in the 15th century. And Ty brings us From the Notes, but only after launching Scotts' campaign for president. #GOAYgoayGOAY2020 #PresidentGoay #ViceGoay #TheFirtGoay #KillYourMasters. As always thanks for the use of our theme song to Tim Ireland and the Musician Koit, who's work you can find here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively.

On this, our last weekly release of our initial podcast launch, and hopefully the last episode with any audio issues, Scott returns! Tyler points out that the best thing Boba Fett did was also hang out in the garbage and not die when he should have, Scott explains why he doesn't want to fuck with no white girl in Italia, Aaron pitches our best t-shirt idea yet, (keep your eyes open, they'll be available soon!), and Ty hits us all with a two for one deal bringing back from the notes, fucker, and a new segment: Trump Quotes. As always thanks for the use of our theme song to Tim Ireland and the Musician Koit, who's work you can find here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively.

On this episode of the podcast, we dive head first into the shallow, strictly horizontal pool that is “The Fet!” (Flat Earth Theory, a theory which states that the earth is round.” Tyler begins to peel back the facade of this too thickly layered and watery eyed onion that is flat earth theory, Scott is stuck at home with a broken hip but still manages to get his usual three to four words in edgewise, Aaron explains that flat earthers are really just furbies, and Ty turns the Flat Earth frequently asked questions into a game, while also giving us the first of three queef facts. Subscribe now to stay tuned to future episodes to hear the rest! As always thanks for the use of our theme song to Tim Ireland and the Musician Koit, who's work you can find here: https://www.bloggerheads.com/ and here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441 respectively.

On this episode of the Podcast, we finish up our Moon Conspiracy series by discussing the holographic projection of the moon known as, “The Lunar Wave”, and tease our next series: Flat Earth. Tyler pitches his case for why he should record the next Foo Fighters, or at least Tenacious D album, Scott explains that the only thing holding back Danny DeVito is his lack of Shaquille O’Neals feet on his shoulders as wings, Aaron describes how, “we did sodomized”, both red and blue Matrix pills at birth, and Ty reveals that Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler are sharing a skin suit. We also introduce a new closing segment, “From the President, Fucker!” As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

This week, we recover the lost 7th episode, by discussing the questionable evidence theorists use to “prove” that aliens live on the moon's surface. Tyler gives a dramatic theatre performance of alleged overheard moon landing conversations, Scott explains the trade deal between Nazis and aliens co-existing on the moon, Aaron reveals that Donald Trump is the real life Jar Jar Binks, and Ty shares that he doesn’t know what a prime number is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH46xnlaRBA As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

This week on Cognitive Contortions, we discuss the moon conspiracy whistle blower, Dr. Ralph, and other problematic claims of moon conspirators. Tyler explains how most conspiracy anomalies are the result of butt grease, Scott's dick is on blast (yet pristinely average), Ty describes what it’s like to get a vasectomy, and Aaron explains that Native Americans were not douchebags... except maybe the ones who played lacrosse. Also, Ty introduces a new segment, “It’s from the notes... fucker.” As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

This week on Cognitive Contortions we begin the theory of a faked moon landing. Tyler theorizes that the moon may actually just be Two Faces coin, Scott is distracted by a local sex shop post card left on the coffee table, Ty finds the hidden dildo in the Comedians apartment in, “The Watchmen”, and Aaron explains how Tim Allen uses his radioactive tool belt to clean the mold off of the moons surface each lunar cycle. We also introduce a new recurring segment, “Reptilians in the real world!” (We also ignore the fact that we originally lost Episode 7. Don’t worry, it comes back later!) As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

This week on Cognitive Contortions, we kick off our new series about the moon, and as chosen by audience applause, we start with the moon space station theory. Tyler explains how the moon gets its sexy on, Scott gets drunk off his un-fermented wine, (grape juice), Ty discovers that his Batman dvd box set needs an exorcism, and Aaron is away in VA working on his ariel dogfight thriller, “Bogeys on your Pank”, but joins us for Theory, Truth, or Bullshit. As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

Preview here!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERPE9S1WDT4 On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we tie off our reptilian series by discussing the Reptilian theorists ideological consensus. Tyler loses his mind over the Solo movie, Scott explains how the relationships between monogamous gold works, Ty realizes that Cognitive Contortions is really just a Star Wars Podcast, and Aaron turns red with questions. As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we talk about David Icke’s last legitimate publications and his descent into Reptilian theory. Tyler catches the boys pissing in the corner, Scott swallows his word load, Ty introduces the podcast to the worst tongue noise in audio history, and the boy is back in town! Aaron returns from Ireland and introduces us to the, “tongue lengths”, system of measurement. We also introduce a new segment/game: “Theory, Truth or Bullshit!” As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we talk about David Icke’s turquoise phase. Tyler gives us a glimpse into Lord Vaughn Ickes personal life, Scott gets stuck at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, Ty discusses the finer points of being born without consent, and Aaron is away in Ireland, presumably working in the spec script for: John Wick, Knights of the Old Republic. As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

On this episode of Cognitive Contortions, we discuss David Ickes many publications and his theory of universal vibrations. Tyler explains what a petite novel is, (novella), Scott explains the love relationship between David Icke and Jesus, Ty learns of the Bowser trials one must undertake to get a library card, and Aaron is still away in Ireland working hard on his short erotic fiction, “Snake with an Ass”. Tyler did eventually get a Library Card: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h9SSFs50RA As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441

On our very first episode of Cognitive Contortions, We talk briefly about Reptilian theory and it’s father, David Icke’s, formative years. Tyler learns that the Men In Black cockroach grows up to be Wilson Fisk, We find out that Scott is David Icke incognito, Ty has a revelation that Reptilians are just the manifestation of depression and Aaron shits his pants with questions. As always, thanks to Tim Ireland and the musician Koit, for the use of our theme song, "A Conspiracy Song". Check out Tim at http://www.bloggerheads.com/ and check out Koit at https://music.apple.com/us/artist/koit/346306441