CoParent Courage

Today I speak with Victoria Glasier & Lem Wheeles. Victoria Glasier is the U.S. Census Bureau Chief responsible for explaining to children what the census is and why an accurate count matters. Lem Wheeles is a High School Teacher in Dimond, Alaska who has partnered with the Census to create "Statistics in Schools". Do the census with your kids by going here: https://census.gov Get the Statistics in Schools Program by going here: https://census.gov/schools Custody Without Courts Book: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com/ ...

Thom shares four quick tips about flexibility as a CoParent: Learning, Improvising and Positive Problem Solving. Sometimes it's necessary to be flexible and this is how to do it.  Have a great Christmas! Custody Without Courts Book: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com/book.html Newsletter Sign-up: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com/newsletter.html

In this episode I discusses a gratitude exercise that I "accidentally" stumbled across in the kitchen. It took less than 3 minutes and it made my day much brighter. I immediately wanted to share it with you. Have a great Christmas! -Thom- Custody Without Courts Book: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com/book.html Newsletter Sign-up: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com/newsletter.html

I was on the REVIVE Podcast with Sunny and John and we had a great conversation. We discuss my latest writing "Drama-Free Drop-Offs" and get into details about how to frame your Co-Parent in a way such as to come from a place of peace. We discuss how to give yourself permission to grieve past relationships and do the "Reconstruct Your Previous Partner" exercise with them. Enjoy this fun conversation.  Custody Without Courts: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com   ...

Thom gives three tools to use when talking to your CoParent without arguing. These simple frames of reference can give you leverage in any situation, but are specifically created for those times when you are talking about Parenting Time. These are to (1) make your request known (2) use body language that is consistent with your request and (3) to "be with" their response.  Sign-up for the Custody Without Courts Newsletter here: http://CustodyWithoutCourts.com   ...

Anxiety is scary. It comes up for different people in different ways, yet there are a few things I've found that seem to help just about everyone I discuss this nervousness with.  During this episode I tell a story about going to the Principal's office at my Son's school and how I had a panic attack during our meeting. More importantly, I share what I learned from that experience as it relates to the relationship I have with my CoParent. These are all lessons that we can learn from. I talk about how speaking to the listening of someone else proves to be a very effective and necessary tool when raising a child with them. Official Links: Custody Without Courts: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com CoParent-Coach: https://CoParent-Coach.com     ...

In today's CoParent Courage Podcast I tell a story of how my son's "talking game" relates to how I get along with my CoParent and how I get along with people in my life. I describe, in detail, how to use Empathy in order to relate to someone and as a skill to teach your child. I also talk about a forthcoming book that is going to be free to Newsletter subscribers called "3 Steps To Get Over Your Ex". https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com/     ...

In today's CoParent Courage Podcast episode, Thom explores the phrase "Now Is All You Have" in great detail and applied the principle's of being grounded in the moment to being a Co-Parent. He discusses the ideas of "emergence" and "evolution" as it applies to the past stories in our lives and describes how to get "unstuck". Enjoy this enlightening and philosophical Co-Parenting Podcast Episode.   Custody Without Courts Book: http://CustodWithoutCourts.com Coaching: http://CoParent-Coach.com   ...

In today's CoParent Courage Podcast I talk about how a seemingly random encounter with some "redneck road rage" ended up helping me see a blindspot and gave me the courage to strengthen the relationship with my CoParent.  Custody Without Courts: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com     ...

In today's "CoParent Courage" podcast, I explore the idea of Faith from the perspective of not immediately seeing the long-term effects of our love and support for our children.  This is in the context of sharing Parenting responsibilities with someone who you can't even look at! Find out what YOU can create.  Custody Without Courts Book: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com CoParent-Coach: http://CoParent-Coach.com  

In today's CoParent Courage episode I talk about how "Learned Optimism" is (literally) the antidote to both Agony and Apathy. I discuss, in depth, how to not give negative Self Talk the power to create your context and offer some skills to create Learned Optimism in your life.  Custody Without Courts: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com/ CoParent-Coach: http://CoParent-Coach.com ...

In today's CoParent Courage Podcast I give two exercises that help you erase past negative events with your Co-Parents. You can use these immediately to really remove the sting of something painful that happened in the past.  Relationships are repairable and just like any other tool you can try these exercises on your own before sharing them with your Co-Parent. Let's create the relationships you really want. Custody Without Courts Book: http://CustodyWithoutCourts.com Co-Parent Coach: http://CoParent-Coach.com  

In today's CoParent Courage episode I do a deep dive into Reputation: How it's not owned by us, but rather the tribe of people we surround ourselves with. The real way to "control" your reputation is to create rapport with those around us. This episode is dedicated to teaching you how to repair any relationship with rapport. Custody Without Courts: http://CustodyWithoutCourts.com  

After overhearing some Second Grade Mom's discussion about time and multitasking, I took a week to marinade on a couple ideas around how to create lasting change in my life.  In this episode I talk about Co-Parenting Habits, how to convert old habits that don't serve you into new habits that are going to benefit you, your child and your Co-Parent. http://CustodyWithoutCourts.com

I talk about a rapid state change and a way to go from "hostility" to "happiness" in less than 7 minutes. This might sound like a magic pill, and in a way it kind of is, but it's something you have access to.  I also use this particular formula to create a state of peace. Not just peace of mind, but peace with my Co-Parent and my family.  Custody Without Courts: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com CoParent Courage: https://CoParentCourage.com  ...

In today's episode I talk about BlindSpots and define Emotional Blindspots. I share some of my own BlindSpots and what I did to resolve them, especially when it comes to CoParenting. There are four distinct questions you can ask yourself when it comes to BlindSpots that we explore: Do I avoid things that make me feel emotionally uncomfortable? Am I in denial of something, either from the past or present? Is there a cycle of getting into the same type of unfulfilling relationships? Is the way people describe me different from how I see myself? Custody Without Courts: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com CoParent Courage: https://CoParentCourage.com   ...

How to create Co-Parenting Conditions that work for you by "teaching" others. This is done through our reactions and how we respond to people in our lives, especially our Co-Parents.  The book "Custody Without Courts" has been completed and is available on the website. I am also offering 20 minute consultations over Phone or Skype when you get the book before the end of 2017. CoParent Courage: https://CoParentCourage.com Custody Without Courts: https://CustodyWithoutCourts.com ...

In today's episode I tell you why I've been away from this Podcast for a few weeks and the new Project I've taken on. It's writing a book called "Custody Without Courts" and in this episode I tell you how you can get a free sample chapter of the book.

In today's Podcast I talk about Empathy and how we can use it as a tool to be able to understand our CoParent and help others.  I give you 3 easy to understand exercises that act like "an antibiotic" against Apathy. If you have any questions, you can write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com. You can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening.

In this Podcast I answer 2 questions from frustrated CoParents about their previous partners and the influence they have over their kids. These are great questions that we ALL have in our CoParenting lives and answers we can all use.  If you have a question you can write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com for any comments or to send me a question you'd like to have answered in this Podcast. You can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening.

As humans, we all have a "monkey mind" and the loudest monkey is the one that is based in Fear and Worry.  In today's CoParent Courage episode I talk about ways that we can turn down the volume on this monkey mind and offer a great exercise that I do to be able to get clarity for any situation quickly. You can write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com for any comments or to send me a question you'd like to have answered in this Podcast. You can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening.

In this episode I give examples of how culture and "the world" at large veneer's things in order to market to us. I take on fake food, pornography, the local "news" and debt - providing a different perspective than what we've been told these things are. It's not the truth, but rather another set of "glasses" in which to view the world.  As always you can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can subscribe to my Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com. Both are great ways for us to talk together about being the Courageous CoParent that you are.  Thanks for listening.  ...

Holding Space is a concept that I've explored for awhile, with some really powerful results. It's really the combination of Practicing Kindness, Allowing Expression, Being Present, Practicing Non-Judgement and Not Trying to "Fix" your CoParent. The reason this is important is because it allows you to get a deeper understanding and cycle of trust from your CoParent.  You can write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com for any comments or to send me a question you'd like to have answered in this Podcast. You can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening. ...

Dating and Sex can potentially be touchy subjects but they don't need to be. No one can replace a child’s Parent - regardless of how awesome that someone they are dating appears to be. I talk about Stories and how we add our own meaning on to events that really didn’t happen. I discuss how to set boundaries that make sense for both you and your Partarent without being intrusive on their love life and giving you the assurance that your kids are going to come first. You can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can subscribe to my Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com. Both are great ways for us to talk together about being the Courageous CoParent that you are.  Thanks for listening.  ...

The quote "You can't learn to surf by reading a book" inspired today's CoParent Courage Podcast where we take a look at Wisdom - knowledge combined with experience and how we can create this in our CoParenting lives. I make an App recommendation that has greatly assisted me in getting habits and routines handled in my life and I show you how to use it. You can write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com for any comments or to send me a question you'd like to have answered in this Podcast. You can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening. ...  

Culture is a very abstract term, but being in control of the things you CAN control is very important. In this CoParent Courage episode I talk about Habits, Routines and Rituals as they apply to your current family. More importantly, I drill down on specific areas in this very nebulous sounding term of "culture".  I then do a deep dive into Time and present a new concept of time that can potentially change your life and how you view the world.  You can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can subscribe to my Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com. Both are great ways for us to talk together about being the Courageous CoParent that you are.  Thanks for listening.    ...

In this episode I talk about how the idea of "Rich Dad Poor Dad" (having two fathers while growing up) influence us. This is followed by a series of questions to ask yourself and your CoParent to get consistency between CoParent homes.  These questions center around Meals, Routines and Consequences.  You can always write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com for any comments or questions. To keep this conversation going outside of this episode you can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening.  ...

In today's CoParent Courage Podcast I talk about the difference between Choice and Decision, how something subtle and create vastly different results. We learn how to powerfully choose circumstances, people and events that happen to us. You can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can subscribe to my Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com. Both are great ways for us to talk together about being the Courageous CoParent that you are.  Thanks for listening. 

With focus and attention being a "new currency", it sometimes feels like we're at a new level of distraction at all times. Today I answer a question from a fellow CoParent about how much screen time is too much and how to get your CoParent to "pay attention" to you when they are constantly on their phone.  You can always write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com for any comments and you can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening.     ...

Our "goal" as parents is to raise responsible adults. Along the way we are given a choice of how we spend our time with our children. Ultimately, we want what is best for them and in today's episode I explore Engagement ("doing with" your child) and Involvement ("doing to" your child). We take a look at what the difference is and why each has a purpose.  We also discuss space, both from the perspective of when to give it to our children and when to give it to our CoParent.  You can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can subscribe to my Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com. Both are great ways for us to talk together about being the Courageous CoParent that you are.  Thanks for listening. 

We want to think that life is fair, but we all know it's not. In todays CoParent Courage "Between-isode" I introduce an idea from my mentor Eben called the "Justice Mechanism". I talk about how to know when it's coming up and what to do about it as a Courageous CoParent. You can always write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com for any comments and you can always subscribe to my Newsletter by going to my site at https://CoParentCourage.com and clicking on the Newsletter link. Thanks for listening.   ...

Everyone has a light side and a dark side. This is what makes us human.  While we might agree that we want the same goal for our children to be loved and safe, there is a chance we have different paths and ideas of how to achieve that culture.  In this episode I define the "Disneyland Dad" and "Mardi Gras Mom", two potential challenges you might face in your CoParent life. I present ways to deal powerfully with these potentially polarizing personalities and how to create something powerful in the moment.  You can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can subscribe to my Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com. Both are great ways for us to talk together about being the Courageous CoParent that you are.  Thanks for listening.   

As a CoParent, it's easy to get frustrated. In this quick "between-isode" I introduce the suggestion of Reframing: The ability to use language to literally change your circumstances in order to benefit you and your child. Life is going to hand you lemons sometimes and it's up to you to choose what to do with them.  Let me know what you think about this or any of the CoParent Courage episodes by writing me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com or continuing this conversation on my Newsletter, which is free and available at https://CoParentCourage.com.   ...

Time is a subject that affects everyone because time isn't infinite. In fact, we have a very limited time to teach our children how to become responsible adults. In this episode I do a deep dive into Google Calendar, how to create one, share one and keep your schedule on the right track for you and your kids.  If you like my Podcast, please subscribe and leave a review. For additional conversation, you can write me directly at TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and sign up for me Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com.    

In this weeks quick "between-isode" I talk about the idea of micro-moments and how/when hesitation is possible.  You can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can subscribe to my Newsletter by signing up at https://CoParentCourage.com.

As a loving CoParent you know that dividing up Parental Responsibility in a way that can setup your children for success is crucial in today's rapidly changing world. This CoParent Courage episode explores what I call the "Lines of Responsible Parenting" - in a nutshell, setting up rules for your children to become the best Adults they can. Sometimes having a single point of contact makes sense, from both a logistical perspective and a responsibility point-of-view. If important things like Doctors appointments, Dentist visits and Musical Recitals are taken over by one parent, how often does the other parent communicate? The answer should be all the time! That said, there is some times when the lines of responsible parenting intersect or there is a major disagreement about something. If this is the case, we learn again that clear communication is the key to figuring it out and we start this discussion from a place of "what works".  To wrap up this episode, we start exploring a new motto that is going to be used throughout our conversations in the future: You are your Child's Parent, not their friend. You'll be their friend later in life, but for now, there are times where you need to lay down the "CoParent Law" for their own good.  Please go to my site and sign-up for my Newsletter. It's a way for us to keep this conversation going about CoParenting, Parenting and raising healthy Adults. You can sign-up for my Newsletter on my site here: http://CoParentCourage.com/.   ...

In this quick "in between" episode I answer two important questions: What defines a "CoParent" and how you can become a part of the CoParent Courage conversation.  You can write me directly at: TommyT@CoParentCourage.com and you can sign-up for the Newsletter at https://CoParentCourage.com.

Today we talk about Influence and why it's important to hang out with people whom you want to be more like.  We take on the concept of criticizing directly and offer an alternative of sincere praise. (And more importantly, why this makes sense).  This all occurs in the context of your Mature Boundary - being able to have inner control so that you are less influenced by outside or negative external forces. This is a skill you will find necessary as a CoParent because what influences you often controls the way you think, speak and sometimes act. Whether it's clout or consequence, the people you connect with magnetize to your personality. Which can effect the way you interact with your CoParent and your children.  As a Courageous CoParent you are indeed what is Possible in the world when it comes to creating a safe, comfortable and loving eco-system for your children.  In the third episode we start to "crack the code" on what we have control over and what we don't.  If you got value from this Podcast, please go to my site and sign-up for my Newsletter. It's a way for us to have a conversation about CoParenting. You can sign-up on my site here: http://CoParentCourage.com. 

In this episode I talk about how to avoid the legal system when it comes to the Custody of your child.  What remains a constant is that you need to ask for what you want, as clearly as possible an without any sort of expectations.  I talk about how to ask for what you want and why clarity is of the utmost importance. It's getting past the negative "stories" and really cutting to what matters the most to you. I discuss putting natural checks and balances into place so that you can both listen and be heard by your CoParent to create a safe and comfortable life for your kids, while maintaining a consistent but flexible schedule.  Finally, I discuss what to do (and how to recognize) when emotions come up that are going to hinder you getting what you want from your CoParent. The real key is to balance communication (as in, it's never "over-communicating" when talking about your child), and flexibility when it comes to both time and integrity. 

This discussion is about Re-creating your CoParent as someone you choose. You might not choose his or her actions necessarily, but you choose that person as the Parent to your precious and amazing children. Choice is more than "tolerating" or "getting along", it's about being able to freely accept them, as Previous Life Partner, "Co-Parent" and Parent to your kids.  You can use the an exercise I describe in detail to really see a situation for what it is and to get your own form of clarity when the pain gets difficult to manage. It's a good one that you can use anytime.  I discuss our eco-system and how to create, from nothing, the CoParenting Culture that we want for ourselves and our Children. As you know, being a CoParent is a lot of responsibility and requires patience, love and acceptance. This first episode lays the foundation of really choosing your CoParent for not only the sake of your children, but to create a space that allows you to truly be yourself. If you get value from this Podcast, please go to my site and sign-up for my Newsletter. The site where you can sign-up is http://CoParentCourage.com.