Hi Friend

This week I wanted to wrap up the conversations around anxious attachment that I've shared over the past couple episodes, finishing with tools and mindset shifts that have been the most helpful for me and that are helping me move in the direction of someone who experiences secure relationships, beyond the advice to just find someone who is secure and have them be who heals this part of me (though that is still a part of this process as well in some ways). I hope these learnings and practical practices might resonate with you if you find yourself in a similar attachment style and I include more links and resources over at hifriend.co. I also share my plans for this podcast moving into the next year and elaborate on where I'll be putting my focus. Find me on instagram at @glitterandgrace and over on my blog at Glitter and Grace.

As a follow up to last week's episode about attachment and having a hard time letting go of a person or relationship, I felt nudged to share a post I wrote on my blog six years ago. This was a visualization that truly felt divinely inspired, as if it was directly channeled through me. A visualization about letting go when I needed it the most. I return to this post often as it brings me great comfort, and I had the thought to record it in an audio version, for myself, and for anyone who might like to hear these words wash over them as well.  Read the written version here Show notes over at hifriend.co Find me on Instagram at @glitterandgrace

I felt nudged to share a more personal part of my healing journey, one that I'm currently in the midst of working through, because it's an area I think many people can relate to. And that is the "stuck-ness" of being attached to someone and the frustrating feeling of not being able to let go, even when we don't understand our feelings in the first place. If moving on was easy, so many of us wouldn't struggle with this. But the reality is that there are much deeper forces at play when we find ourselves attached to someone that doesn't choose us back, or isn't in our worth. This fact can seem scary at first, but I've actually found it to be quite a relief when realizing the reason I hold on to attachments is because at a soul level I believe it will bring completeness and healing from something that was left unmet in me at a very young age. My hope is to tackle this topic with vulnerability and determination, and to share parts of it transparently with the goal of bringing healing to my own soul in this area, and then to guide others into healing who may need it as well. This episode serves as a setting up of the story of attachment in my own life, and then the high-level ways that I believe attachment exists in the first place. Through this and future episodes we'll cover the root causes of what leads to attachments, and then share tools for how to begin to break free from these blocks. Looking forward to healing and growing together, friends. See notes and links from the show over at hifriend.co.

Checking in with a few updates on life lately: what it's been like to re-incorporate alcohol back into my life after taking a year off, moments where I've been able to witness the ways in which my personal growth journey have started to make noticeable and tangible differences in my relationships and personality, and a big decision I just made that I believe will help take me into this next chapter of my life that I've been envisioning for awhile.

It was such a joy getting to chat with Morgan Day Cecil, a Feminine Wholeness expert who I have followed and looked to for wisdom for years now, and to get to benefit from all of the life-giving goodness that poured from her story and the words she shared during our conversation. A question I often ponder, and hear from other single women, is around sexuality and how to incorporate it or delight in it without the presence of another human. Morgan's definitions of romance and adventure had me "Amen-ing" like crazy, and I really believe the words in this episode will bring healing, wholeness, and freedom to every woman who listens. You can find Morgan over at @morgandaycecil and http://morgandaycecil.com/, with the full show notes and links to all the free resources she mentioned over at hifriend.co.

Learning how to create and cultivate an abundance mindset has been one of the most beneficial practices of my life. I decided to publish this episode coming from a place of lack (in the world's eyes) in the areas of love and money, rather than wait until I have "achieved" both of those things, to show what it looks like to hold onto this mindset even in the midst of waiting for abundance to arrive, and demonstrate how I practice claiming abundance no matter where I'm at in life. Choosing to view life through a lens of abundance over scarcity goes way beyond money and love, and spills over into every facet of life, hence why I think this is such an essential practice to grasp. I share the mindset shifts and specific thoughts I focus on to create this in my own life, and the ways in which I believe abundance is already available to me as well as on its way to me right now.

As I've struggled to stay productive in certain areas of my life, specifically as it relates to my work, the practice of imagining and then invoking the behaviors of my higher self has been so beneficial for me. In this episode I explain who your higher self is, how to get really clear in defining it, and then how knowing those answers helps direct all of the decisions in your day to day life. Learning this concept blew my mind, and even though I'm still in progress with learning how to constantly live it out, I've been excited to share this process with you all for awhile now.  I'd love to know if there was anything specific that resonated with you in this episode, you can message me on Instagram at @glitterandgrace and find the show notes over at hifriend.co.

This week I had the pleasure of talking with Brooke and Heather - the women, wives, mothers and entrepreneurs behind Sōlspace - a community for women that creates a space for those who are balancing all these roles together. In our conversation we talk about one of my favorite things: not waiting on certain milestones to more fully live your life, and what that has looked like for each of us. We also share how "the grass is always greener" game is pointless - from both sides of marriage - and why we strongly dislike the phrase, "just you wait" (including suggestions on what you should say instead ;). I loved this conversation and I hope you do too! Find Brooke and Heather and their blog over at Sōlspace.co, their podcast on iTunes, and follow along on Instagram at @solspace.co. See the full show notes over at hifriend.co as well.

One of the most life-altering things I have learned and incorporated into my life has been the revelation that my thoughts and my thoughts alone are what cause my feelings, and in turn, affect the actions I take and the experience I have in this life. As I've witnessed first hand the power I have to completely change my feelings and experiences towards something - anything from my relationship with cockroaches (trigger warning but also not really cuz it's a happy story :) to my relationship with my roommates - it's given me an entirely new (and amazing) perspective on the fact that I am in control of my happiness and the ways in which I decide to experience this life. I share personal stories of how this has affected multiple areas of my life for the better, simple tips for how to be more intentional with your thoughts and how to begin creating a more joyful and empowered life for yourself, and then resources for how to further develop these practices. See more over at hifriend.co.

Lately I've become so aware of the amount of joy and delight I experience on a daily basis, and so much of it is thanks to steps I've taken to fill as many tiny corners of my day and life with things that light me up and spark joy. And so I wanted to share those delightful little details with you, and also ways in which you can go about doing the same in your life - because I believe the practice of learning how to make ourselves happy and learning how to create a world in which we're constantly flooded with delight and gratitude is one that has a ripple effect so far beyond ourselves. I share specifics from the morning and evening routines I've created for myself, and the 4 different "domains" I curate to my preference, and then end with tips on how to start or deepen this practice for yourself, with important distinctions on how this isn't about materialism or excess. Bonus content includes my spiritual journey with my cold sore, the current podcast I'm obsessed with, and the book I'm reading to overcome resistance in my creative endeavors (which I'll share now since I said it wrong on the podcast, ugh: "The War OF Art").

In my own life experience, a message I have received through various areas of my life has been that it can be unsafe to have friendships of the opposite sex. Whether that's because it's impossible to be friends with a guy without it turning into a romantic or sexual relationship, or because it's not appropriate to be close friends with a man who's married, these messages can lead us to believe that ourselves and others are ultimately untrustworthy and that we need to proceed with fear or strict boundaries in order to have these relationships. I know that's not everyone's experience, but my hope in sharing this is to highlight the necessity and beauty of having friendships of all genders that are able to hold great intimacy and closeness without the end outcome always needing to be a romantic relationship. As I've gotten to witness the healing and life-giving benefits of those friendships in my life, I wanted to express gratitude for what they've meant to me, and encourage others to seek out a varied community for their own lives as well.

Expanding on the topic of intuitive dating and sharing stories of times I felt pressured into dating situations because of outside factors and how I've learned to tune those out and only do what feels right for me. I also share the importance of shifting my mindset around dating to one that's positive and hopeful rather than one that has given up all hope of ever meeting someone decent in this app-saturated world. See more over at hifriend.co.

Thoughts on the things I wish we did more of in our friendships rather than saving them for romantic and married relationships. See the show notes over at hifriend.co.

When a topic is repeatedly put in my path, I pay attention to what it's there to teach me. And the concept of the mind-body connection and the ways in which our unreleased emotions and anger manifest as pain or dis-ease in our bodies is one that seems to be everywhere I look these days. Confirmed by a mini incident I recently experienced, I decided to share what I've been learning around this from multiple sources, and the tools I've started to use to healthily release unwanted and toxic emotions from my own body. I am so fascinated and encouraged by the growing awareness and conversations around this subject, and am hopeful for the healing and growth we'll begin to collectively see as this knowledge is spread. Find resources and show notes over at hifriend.co.

This is a topic I've had rolling around in my heart for the past year or so. The topic of who we're here to "help," how we know which path to follow in finding our purpose, and releasing the guilt around not feeling called to a life of sacrifice and service (as you may currently understand those words). You can even hear the resistance I'm still wrestling through in this episode as I try to justify the path I've currently set myself on when it comes to choosing the ways I'll use my life as a service to others, as I clearly have some beliefs deeply embedded in me around this idea. I hope my rambling thoughts make sense, and you're left with a feeling of relief, with the ability to release the pressure from your own life, and add practical tools for moving forward and focusing on one thing at a time in order to find wholeness in yourself as a way to bring healing to the world.

Sara and Kalee back together again! We may not have gotten to record sitting shoulder to shoulder on the floor of Sara's room, but after months of living apart, we finally got the chance to hop on the phone and catch everyone up on what Kalee's been up to the past few months, all the major and exciting life shifts she's experiencing at once, and how being long distance has affected our friendship. We don't leave out the hard and messy parts of being two different humans in very different chapters of our lives, and how we're choosing to fight for the beauty that is our friendship. We also share practical tips for navigating a long distance relationship between two people with differing communication styles, and why these types of conversations don't just need to be reserved for romantic partnerships. It was so good getting to share this space again, and we hope you enjoy listening in on our conversation.

As I've continued to be on a journey of discovering the ways in which I can change my thoughts, and in turn, change my beliefs, I want to keep sharing the mindset shifts that have been the most helpful for me. Today's episode focuses on reframing jealousy, an emotion that I find particularly bothersome, and how I turn those thoughts into helpful ones rather than harmful ones. I cover the practical ways I'm able to quickly flip my views around when it comes to things that used to make me jealous, and share the ways in which I'm still working through what that looks like in relationships for me. Head to hifriend.co to see more from this episode, and thanks for listening friends.

In this episode I'm sharing the morning routine I've created for myself that allows me to start every day with peace and calm, and I get specific on what I'm reading each day and the products I use to help wake me up, and most importantly, the feature on my phone that I believe makes all of this possible. It's been such a game changer for me and I love telling everyone about it these days, and since you're all my friends, I wanted to share it with you too.  Head to hifriend.co for more notes from the show.

Through a series of revelations over the past several years, I started to recognize that there were beliefs I had been carrying with me around things I was waiting until marriage to do - whether that was a certain part of my life I could engage in, a specific thing I wanted to buy, or whatever made-up truth I had been telling myself - and have now slowly but surely started to reframe them in a way that allows me to step into those things now, without waiting on any unknown timeline. And the result has been so fun and so freeing. In this episode I share five different things I've decided not to wait until marriage for, and the ways in which those have helped me more fully enjoy my life right where I'm at.

Favorite times, repeating numbers, signs that show up in the most random places right when you needed them. All of these things are ways that I believe the Universe uses to speak to us in order to guide, comfort, or encourage us wherever we're at in life. I invited my long-time friend Lauren onto the show to share the beautiful story behind her sign, and tell the background and significance around mine as well. Head to hifriend.co to see accompanying photos to both our stories and important snapshots into our gangly, confusing, and precious junior high and high school days. Enjoy, and I hope this episode encourages you to seek out extra bits of love and magic in your everyday life.

In August of 2018 I was led to give up alcohol for an entire year as an experiment. Seven months into that journey I'm sharing the story behind coming to this decision, the biggest benefits I've seen in my life because of it, the things that have made not drinking way easier for me, and how I believe I'll approach alcohol in the future. I also disclose the super extra ceremony I hosted to help with my grief around saying goodbye to red wine. Most importantly, I share the biggest takeaway this experience has given me that I think applies to everyone and any big decision they might be facing.

It was so special to have my soul sister Jessie on for our first guest spot on Hi Friend. Jessie and I have my favorite BFF meet-cute love story filled with synchronicities and overlap long before we met that we had the pleasure of sharing with you all, mixed with a peek into what our day-to-day conversations have evolved to (we've come a long way since bonding over 7 jeans), and how we help coach, guide and encourage each other through the ever-shifting and expansive realm we've found ourselves in. Jess shares a big life pivot that's been put in her path and how magic has infused the uncertain process, and I share my struggle with having an undefined career at the moment, forever questioning how to explain what it is I'm doing when presented with the question from strangers. See the video I surprised Jess with during our episode, as well as where you can find her online (and trust me, you want to) over at hifriend.co.

The ability to quickly alter or up-level my mood by changing my thoughts or by knowing what activities or practices will get me there has been something I've been deeply intrigued by lately. I have created quite a personal list of things that get me into alignment (AKA my best and fullest self), and because I believe in the power of this concept so much, I love sharing what those different tools are for me. This episode is about a quick and easy way to change your mood or channel a specific emotion using a highly curated playlist - with examples of what's on mine, and how I use different categories of music to bring about a desired result. I hope you have fun with this one.

I've recently had a big shift in the way I view my singleness and this season of life, partially thanks to the clarity I've gained around how I envision my immediate future, and partially thanks to months worth of mindset shifts that have transformed the way I view myself, my dating life, and my status as a single person. So I sat down and spilled my heart on all the revelations and new beliefs that have made the biggest difference in my life around releasing attachments, fully letting go of the "how" someone will come my way, and embracing this season in a big and beautiful way.

Hi from Sara for the first solo episode of Hi Friend! In this episode I share the reason Kalee doesn't live down the street from me anymore, the story behind how "following my purpose" has led me on a winding yet surprisingly peaceful path, and the reasons I haven't totally freaked out after being somewhat job-less and without a clear direction even 10 months after leaving my career. I also give some sneak peeks of what topics are to come and what I hope you'll be able to take away from this podcast. Looking forward to hanging with you, friends.

We're back with a brand new season and direction for Hi Friend! While this episode was recorded 6 months ago (we're aware of the dated references), the overview on where we're headed remains and we wanted to make sure we kicked this new chapter off with a check-in from both of us. So enjoy a mid-2018 update on our lives, and a peek into what's to come for both of us and this space.

Since it's been awhile (oops), we share some life updates about the exciting things filling our time these days and the realities of how pursuing your passions and dreams can sometimes leave little space for romantic relationships. We talk about helpful questions we've asked ourselves when determining where our current priorities lie, and allow ourselves to dream even bigger about the abundant and full lives that are possible for each of us.

We hesitated having our next episode be about dating and relationships since we both have such little to report in that area these days, then realized that's exactly the part of it we'll choose to talk about. The waiting and the ways we're both choosing to view and hold that desire in our lives. We're hopeful there are parts of our journey in hoping and longing for good things that everyone can relate to, even if your hope isn't for a relationship.

The discussions around needing to untether ourselves from our phones and social media are nothing new these days, we all know we're straight up addicted to the tiny dopamine hits all those notifications give us. And yet we're (statistically) the most anxious and unhappy we've ever been as a nation. So something has to change. This convo is full of confessions (anyone else used a friend's account to check an ex's story?) and helpful disciplines we've both put into practice to start moving towards a more present, full, and joy-filled life.

Organic tampons, menstrual cups, natural ways to fight cramps, removing shame around periods, and our general thoughts towards that time of the month. Not much is off the table in this conversation and though it should be pretty obvious by this point, males, you've been forewarned.

Whether it's a stranger at a bar, someone you just went on a first date with, or your serious significant other, everyone has the right to put boundaries in place around their bodies and what they're willing and wanting to do in any given moment. In light of the conversations happening around #MeToo, #TimesUp, and basic consent in relationships, we talk about listening to our bodies and speaking our truths to those we come in contact with and how we've successfully, and sometimes unsuccessfully navigated this in the past. Our hope is to empower and equip every woman (and man) to stand up for what their body needs and wants, and start normalizing these types of conversations.

We're entering into one of the most magical seasons of the year - yet why does it always seem to be accompanied with so much stress and other overwhelming emotions? Juggling family pressures, scary credit card statements and insane holiday social calendars are all things we chat about and how we can find ways to not only survive the holiday season, but actually find ways to thrive and find pockets of rest and calm for ourselves.

It can feel like everyone has an opinion on how you should go about meeting a romantic partner, on top of the questions and expectations we put on ourselves too. We talk through the current stage we're both at in our dating lives and wrestle through the question of whether to be proactive in trying to meet someone or surrendering and allowing things to happen in their own time. Apologies for the technical difficulties at the end, not sure what happened to our voices :(

There tends to be a lot of focus on navigating romantic or even family relationships - specifically as it relates to dealing with conflict - and not as much conversation around relational skills in platonic friendships. Which we find odd given the importance and prevalence of female friendships in our lives. So we think it's important to start talking about it more! We get into how we deal with conflict with one another (with some specific examples thrown in just for fun) and share a few practical tips that have been helpful for both of us when it comes to addressing the hard and sometimes messy conversations with one another. Because good and beautiful things are always worth fighting for.

If you could go back and re-do a previous decade, would you? Or at least what advice would you offer your younger self? We talk about the things we wish we would have done differently in our 20s, the best (and hardest) parts of our 30s, and why purge parties with your girlfriends are a really good idea.

We've both experienced the real struggle of the "cooking for one" dilemma, but realized we each have very different routines and approaches to the way we make food for ourselves throughout the week. Sharing the challenges we've faced in cooking for ourselves and also some go-to recipes and meal plan ideas that work for us in this stage of life.

Life is just hard and heavy sometimes isn't it? Realizing we don't have to shoulder it all by ourselves has been one of the greatest gifts of our friendship. We get to affirm one another for the ways we've carried each other through life's low points and hopefully encourage you if you're going through a tough season as well. Also there are updates on the natural deodorant journey as well.

We're big believers that taking care of our bodies is such an important component of self-care and self-love, and while the world of natural products can feel overwhelming, we have fun swapping our fave product recommendations and dive into those specifics in this episode. Including Sara's (successful!) quest to find a natural deodorant that actually works.

As somewhat of a follow-up to our "Why Can't I Let Go?" episode, Sara talks about practical steps that have helped her move forward from heartbreak and Kalee checks in on where her heart and mind are currently at with her dating life.

Sex. Not having it. On purpose. Tune in to hear why, and how we're coping.

As a follow up to our last episode talking about finances, we both have spent time separately processing how living where we do affects the type of people we are and the choices we make on a daily basis. We come together to discuss how we feel about where we live, and whether the solution involves moving or digging in and being extra aware of the influence of our surroundings.

It's hard to un-learn narratives we've had engrained in us for a long time, whether that's things we absorbed from our families or the culture at large, specifically as it relates to gender roles and personal finance. We talk about what it looks like to approach our finances in our 30s as single women who thought they might have been married at this point. Also about our need for physical touch - though that really has nothing to do with finances. (FYI this was recorded in February).

While Mother's Day might have been a couple weeks ago, we still wanted to do an episode where we honor the relationships we have with our moms and talk about some of the similar challenges we face living life in close relationship with them, and more importantly, how we've learned to communicate and work through those challenges over the years. We love you Mom(s)! Even when you buy baby clothes for your non-existent grandkids.

After both participating in the Women's March, we found ourselves needing to explain why we marched to friends and family members, and even better clarifying to each other our hopes behind why we joined in that day. This led us to conversations around the political backgrounds we came from, what we believe now, and what it looks like for us to engage in constructive discussions around pro-life and pro-choice viewpoints.

A reoccurring theme of our conversations about relationships tends to revolve around why it's so hard to let go of people not meant for us. In this episode we talk about the pain and disappointment of something not turning out the way we wanted it to and explore how we got to that spot in the first place and how we can begin to heal and move forward.

Welcome to the first episode of the Hi Friend Podcast! We're grateful you're here, and want to thank you in advance for not totally judging the entirety of this podcast on our first few episodes.  In this episode we introduce ourselves and share how this podcast came about, and then we talk about our experiences with online dating, the people who push us to join, and the best and worst parts of engaging with it for both of us. See if we've had a change of heart at all over the years, or if we forever reject the sentence of online dating. Let's do this.