IF I MAY BE SO BOLD

Ok folks, this is the real sh*t. Justin and Dan get into it about their struggles with avoidance and disconnection in the last several months. How can they find each other when things aren't flowing? Is there a way through the struggle? Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ramesh is back! And this time he is in a relationship; we dig into it. He tells Dan what he learned from his long tortured history of falling for unavailable men, and what it's like to experience committed love now that he's found it. Spoiler: it's complicated!Check out "Another Fire," Voxtrot's first new release in 14 years!If you are interested in working with Krish and/or Amana you can find them here: https://www.learningloveinstitute.com/The podcaster/therapist Ramesh references is Ken Page of the Deeper Dating Podcast: https://deeperdatingpodcast.com/ Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wow there is SO much going on in Episode 8. Justin and Dan process their respective revelations from the last week. What does it really mean to be cringe? Then they dive into the topic of CONTROL. What did control look like in each of Justin and Dan's families growing up and how is it coming into play in their connection and relationship dysfunction. Then they touch on some of the amazing merits of the 12-Step program ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We get the lowdown from our dear friend Maya Vizvary (Office On Violence Against Women at the DOJ) about her experience becoming a mom during deep covid. She tells us how having a kid changed her relationship to herself, her work, and to those close to her. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With wise person Sarah Natsumi Moore, we cover a bunch or irresistible topics. She tells us about attending life-changing Tantra retreats in Brazil, dating after a marriage, the enneagram, and the power and pain of friend breakups. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We interview one of Dan's exes (ahhh!): activist and soon-to-be abolitionist lawyer Jac Lyons. We hear about Dan and Jack's relationship and breakup(s) Then we ask Jack about their journey of identity; coming out, leaving their femme presentation behind, and eventually realizing that they are trans. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Justin shares a huge breakthrough she had at a party last weekend. Dan and Justin explore how childhood wounds are showing up in their relationship and what they believe about them. Then they check in on Season 5 of USA/Peacock's Temptation Island. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's an ADHD party! Dan and Justin welcome midwestern queen and delightful author of Your Brain's Not Broken, Dr. Tamara Rosier to the pod. We talk navigating life, relationships, and emotions with ADHD.Insta: https://www.instagram.com/dr.tamararosier/ Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this bonus episode, we tackle some big, juicy themes. After sharing some recent wins and realizations,(1:02) Dan and Justin weigh in and discuss the notorious screenshot texts between Jonah Hill and Sarah Brady (15:04). What do the texts say about Jonah and the power dynamic at play in their relationship? Justin and Dan then each take a crack at what Jonah could've said (35:33) to Sarah to engender intimacy and understanding around this issue they were having. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Justin and Dan check in about Dan's depression and how they are both navigating it within the relationship. Dan and Justin visit (watch on TV) Season 5 of Temptation Island. It's juicy, it's messy, it's BOLD! We hear their thoughts on the setup of the show, the contestants, and the relationship dynamics at play. Dive in, the water's warm. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our guest Amanda Clegg (@enneagraminrelationship) coaches couples through the lens of The Enneagram of Personality. She tells us how this tool can unlock some amazingly helpful insights and empower couples to understand each other more deeply. Dan and Justin also describe their respective types and some areas of difficulty they have run into recently. FREE ENNEAGRAM QUIZ: Keep in mind that the quiz isn't 100% reliable. It's helpful to do some reading about the different types to figure out yours.https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trouble in paradise?! Justin and Dan talk through the latest obstacles their relationship has faced and the struggle to communicate through it all. Other topics covered: Is Celsius a symbol of Pride month? Is it legal to talk about "Nature Vs. Nurture?" Being brought to tears by Shania Twain, and asshole couple behavior. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are checking in as we excitedly await the start of Season 3! Dan and Justin reflect on the challenges of learning to live together and how it feels to grieve the "honeymoon period" of their relationship. They also compare notes on being diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s before Justin speaks on her struggles with adult acne. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's our season finale! This is a very special episode; an oral history of a couple as told by the couple themselves. Michael and Christine were together for 13 years before deciding to part ways 5 years ago. Today we ask them about what brought them together and the roles they each played in the relationship and its eventual unraveling as they now work towards a healthy friendship. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are joined by the iconic Shirley Braha (of @marniethedog fame) as we hear about her experience coming out as a lesbian in her late 30s. We hear about her first kiss(es), her challenges attending an Orthodox Jewish high school in Brooklyn, and dive into the astrological tensions of Princess Diana and Prince Charles. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Justin describes her transformative evening at the Harry Styles show before she and Dan briefly touch on the concept of "womb envy." After that, they dive back into the "Relationship Advice" Subreddit discussing a 30-something who's suspicious of an interaction she observed between her sister and husband, and an entry involving someone who's distressed over the constant feedback she gets that her boyfriend is ugly. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we give you the second half of our chat with Hannah Smith (1:40) exploring the implications of Josh Harris's book I KISSED DATING GOODBYE. We hear how Justin and and Hannah have continued to reshape their relationships to sexuality after growing up in repressive Christian communities. In the second half (28:25), Justin and Dan dig into chapter 2 of Esther Perel's MATING IN CAPTIVITY. We look at Esther's belief that too much intimacy, closeness, and comfort can be the death of passion and sexual vitality. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the first half of our two-part discussion, we welcome our friend Hannah Smith: host of the hit true-crime podcast THE OPPORTUNIST. As teens, Justin and Hannah both read the books of Joshua Harris including the best-selling sensation I KISSED DATING GOODBYE. Join us as we unpack the impact this book had on both Justin and Hannah when they first read it. We look at its messaging, context, and Josh Harris's pivot away from the Evangelical Christian community and renunciation of the book. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As relationships become more familiar over time, can we continue to cultivate passion, vitality, and sexual desire? With Justin's move-in date just around the corner, we give you first installment of our dive into Esther Perel's incredible book Mating In Captivity. For those of you reading along, we are covering the introduction and first chapter here. Justin and Dan take excerpts from the book and use them to examine their own dynamic and look back on times when things have not flowed as easily between them. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this special episode, Justin sits down with her mom, artist and teacher Rebecca Waring, to talk about the evolution of their relationship. They discuss their religious upbringings, what has kept them from being close in the past, going to therapy together, and how to deal with intergenerational wounds. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On todays episode, we weigh in on some entries from the Relationship Advice subreddit having to do with friendship tensions around dating. Then you'll hear as we ask our friend Mike Hammond (actor, theatre director and teacher) to tell the story of his first kiss. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we speak with author and family constellation therapy facilitator Meenadchi. We have all kinds of questions about this type of therapy and the kinds of healing it can bring. We also explore the concept of intergenerational trauma and why it's important to stop and consider if you need to express yourself authentically, or if you need to be heard. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We sit down with Dietician Nutritionist and Certified Body Trust® provider Aaron Flores to talk about fat-phobia, fat-stigma, and Health At Every Size (HAES). We discuss why it's important for men to disentangle diet culture in their own lives and what we all lose when we buy into it. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey we're back! In our season premiere, we interview each other re: the hopes and fears that are coming up as as we anticipate moving in together. We also dig into the viral "Tony Pizza" post from the "Relationships" Subreddit and all of its implications. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Holy crud we are back to tease the upcoming season! What are Justin and Dan most excited about this time around? Will they survive moving in together? Also listen as they each tell the story of the first time they kissed someone. INSTAGRAM@iimbsbEMAILifimaypodcast@gmail.com Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lately we have been pondering the ways in which the story of a relationship can evolve over time. In Episode 10, Dan and Justin each tell the story of one of their significant past relationships: how it began, how it evolved, and how the story continued to change after the relationship ended.http://www.linktr.ee/iimbsbEMAIL US: ifimaypodcast@gmail.comINSTA @iimbsb Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are joined by the very wise Ally Gluckman (skin therapist, learned astrology student, and Dan's cousin) as we dance with the zodiac. Ally explains why she doesn't like to use astrology in a predictive or "deterministic" way; then we look at the zodiac signs that people tend to hate on the most. Also Dan and Ally talk about their grandfathers who were brothers, and how their relationships with the older generations of their family have informed how they want to show up in the present and for the generations to come. patreon.com/iimbsbifimaypodcast@gmail.com Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we talk about the impulse to cover up or not cover up your own suffering. Justin describes some mental health difficulties she's been dealing with and her fears around letting it affect her relationship with Dan. Then we discuss some specific concerns and desires that are arising as we consider the possibility of moving in together. EMAIL us @:ifimaypodcast@gmail.com Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 7 we speak with Justin's parents! We explore the idea of being friends, or even best friends with your romantic partner. Ken and Rebecca recount the tumult of getting married after only knowing each other for 6 months and immediately moving to Sudan together. We also discuss the importance of noticing and releasing the impulse to police or manage your partner's behavior. KEN'S BOOK:https://www.amazon.com/Iraqi-Refugees-United-States-Enduring/dp/1479886904REBECCA'S WEBSITE:http://rebeccawaringcrane.com/EMAIL US!ifimaypodcast@gmail.comINSTA:@iimbsb Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we are lucky enough to speak with The Consent Wizard themself: Mia Schachter. We discuss the important distinction between wanting to do something vs. being willing to do it, and learning to identify when you're making an offer vs. making a request. We also revisit the 2018 Aziz Ansari controversy, and explore the reasons why cisgendered men are resistant to signing up for Mia's consent courses.Resources Mentioned in the Episode:Mia's Insta: @consentwizardOumou: @connectwithoumouCJ Miller: @cjkittenmillerMistress Vivienne: @mistress.vivienneMeenadchi: https://traumainformednvc.thinkific.comHere's the class Mia and Meenadchi taught together for Mental Health Professionals about pronouns: https://traumainformednvc.thinkific.com/courses/pronoun-practice-for-mental-health-professionals-and-practitioners Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode Mutual Aid Organizer and Technologist Emily Paul joins us as we discuss common misconceptions about Non-monogamy. We also explore how addressing smaller, "less important" tensions in relationships equips you to handle greater challenges when they come up, and the possibility of becoming a parent without a primary romantic partner. Emily's currently organizing with her neighbors to buy an apartment building in dc and turn it into an affordable housing cooperative for Black and brown working class DC residents Link: https://givebutter.com/baldwinhouse/emilypaul Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A relationship doesn't exist in a vacuum, but when you're in it, it can be hard to see the larger cultural context. After some uncomfortable and illuminating dialogue with listeners and friends, Dan and Justin look back on the conflict in episode 3 with new eyes and break down what they were unable to see in the moment. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode drops you into a tense moment between Justin and Dan. One thing led to another and they both ended up TRIGGERED. Listen as they process their respective inner monologues, feelings, and beliefs about the relationship in real time. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our friend and brilliant musician Ramesh Srivastava joins us as we dive into his journey launching the band VOXTROT in his early 20s. We explore the roles he's played in relationships, what it means to be a healthy leader, and the importance of flowing with and not against the stream of your own life. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In their first episode, Dan and Justin interview each other about how each of them developed ideas of healthy vs unhealthy relationships early on in life.  They explore Justin's confusion as a teen about sex and romance as well as messaging from their parents'  and onscreen/celebrity couples. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do we learn to be good friends or partners?  Many of us don't!  What are we really talking about when we refer to good and bad relationships? Dan and Justin are in a romantic relationship.  They've both worked hard to get to a place where they feel ready to take on the work of making it a healthy one; but it's still tough!  Come be a fly on the wall as they navigate the ups and downs, and hear from friends and experts about their own relationship wisdom and blunders. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.