Podcast appearances and mentions of Esther Perel

Alain de Botton est écrivain et philosophe. Il est également le fondateur de The School of Life, il a écrit Le cours de l'amour, un livre que j'ai lu il y a quelques années et qui m'a franchement retourné, parce qu'il commence là où tous les films s'arrêtent : le jour d'après le mariage.C'est le retour de l'été et ca m'a semblé bien de diffuser cet épisode en cette dernière semaine d'aout.Petite précision avant de démarrer : cet épisode a d'abord été diffusé en anglais. J'ai quand même tenu à le proposer en français, parce que ce qu'Alain raconte sur l'amour me paraît trop utile pour rester réservé à celles et ceux qui sont à l'aise avec l'anglais.Il y a un moment dans la conversation où je me suis vu, moi, dans ce qu'il décrivait. Il explique, statistiques à l'appui, que les enfants d'alcooliques tombent massivement amoureux de personnes qui ont un problème d'addiction. Pas par malchance. Parce que nous ne sommes pas attirés par ce qui nous rend heureux, nous sommes attirés par ce qui nous est familier. Et on peut passer une vie entière à rejouer la même scène en croyant chaque fois faire un choix neuf.Dans cet épisode, nous parlons de l'idéal romantique et de ce qu'il nous fait faire, des papillons dans le ventre et de ce qu'ils cachent vraiment, du complexe d'Œdipe relu comme un manuel pratique, des drapeaux rouges à repérer dès le premier dîner, de la sexualité qui s'éteint dans les couples aimants, du polyamour et des dégâts qu'il laisse parfois, de l'infidélité comme tentative maladroite de se rapprocher, des ruptures et de la manière décente de partir, des enfants qui abîment le couple, et de ce qu'on appelle la folie de l'autre.J'ai discuté avec Alain des questions que tout le monde se pose et que personne n'ose formuler à voix haute : est-ce qu'on peut faire changer quelqu'un, comment savoir qu'on a vraiment tout essayé, pourquoi les hommes hétérosexuels ont si peu de mots pour dire ce qu'ils ressentent, et pourquoi les applications de rencontre ont un intérêt économique à ce que vous ne trouviez personne.Ce qui m'a le plus marqué, c'est sa réponse finale. Derrière l'argent, la gloire et l'amour, ce que nous cherchons tous, dit-il, c'est le calme que nous avons connu nourrisson. Et il ajoute une phrase que je n'ai pas réussi à me sortir de la tête : le bruit qui est à l'intérieur de nous a d'abord été un bruit extérieur.Bonne écoute.3. Citations marquantes« Nous ne sommes pas attirés par ce qui nous rend heureux. Nous sommes attirés par ce qui nous est familier. »« Il ne s'agit pas de trouver quelqu'un de sain d'esprit, tout le monde est fou. Il s'agit de trouver quelqu'un capable d'explorer sa folie avec un minimum de maturité. »« Le modèle économique des applis de rencontre repose sur votre échec. C'est une machine à sous : le bonheur, oui, mais pas maintenant, revenez demain. »« Se déshabiller, c'est intéressant. Mais se mettre psychologiquement à nu, ça, c'est la vraie aventure. Et ça ne devient jamais ennuyeux. »« Il n'existe pas d'équilibre entre vie pro et vie perso. Tout ce qui vaut la peine d'être fait va déséquilibrer votre vie. »4. Idées centrales discutées 1. Nous aimons dans un décor que nous n'avons pas choisi (≈ 02:35) Alain ouvre sur cette maxime de La Rochefoucauld : certaines personnes ne seraient jamais tombées amoureuses si elles n'avaient jamais entendu dire que ça existait. Nos émotions reçoivent des encouragements discrets de la société qui nous entoure, et l'idéal romantique en fait partie. Pourquoi ça compte : si nos attentes viennent du décor, elles peuvent être révisées. C'est une bonne nouvelle déguisée en fatalité.2. L'attirance suit le familier, pas le bonheur (≈ 12:52) Le mouvement romantique promettait qu'en suivant son cœur, on choisirait mieux. La psychologie moderne dit l'inverse. Nous rejouons les schémas de frustration de l'enfance parce qu'ils ressemblent à la maison. Pourquoi ça compte : c'est l'explication la plus solide au sentiment de « je retombe toujours sur le même profil » que tant de gens décrivent.3. Les perversions sexuelles sont des terreurs de l'intimité (≈ 25:39) De l'exhibitionniste au voyeur, Alain lit ces comportements comme des refus de la réciprocité : il faut imposer, ou observer de loin, parce que se regarder dans les yeux est insupportable. Pourquoi ça compte : le même mécanisme, en version douce, explique l'amant qui disparaît le lendemain matin. Le désir de connexion et la terreur d'être englouti cohabitent chez tout le monde.4. Les applications de rencontre ont besoin de votre échec (≈ 32:06) Leur modèle repose sur une promesse jamais tenue, exactement comme une machine à sous. Alain reste pourtant optimiste sur la technologie : il imagine une IA témoin du couple, qui signalerait ce que nous ne savons pas entendre. Pourquoi ça compte : ça déplace le débat, le problème n'est pas la technologie, c'est le modèle économique qu'on lui a collé dessus.5. On ne cherche pas quelqu'un de sain, on cherche quelqu'un de lucide (≈ 19:59) La bonne définition d'une attente réaliste, selon lui : quelqu'un capable d'annoncer sa folie avant de la vivre, et de s'en excuser après. Pourquoi ça compte : ça remplace la quête épuisante de la personne parfaite par un critère observable dès les premiers mois.6. Le dialogue a une limite, et il faut l'accepter (≈ 49:05) C'est le moment le plus vulnérable de la conversation. Alain vit de l'idée que les mots transforment les gens, et il admet que ce n'est pas toujours vrai : le traumatisme ferme des portes qu'aucun argument n'ouvre. Pourquoi ça compte : certaines des ruptures les plus douloureuses viennent de là, quitter quelqu'un qu'on aime et qui ne peut pas comprendre.7. La folie de l'autre peut devenir le lieu de l'intimité (≈ 21:28 en germe, développé à 1:20:59) Ce n'est pas la nature du problème qui décide, c'est la manière dont il est porté. Dire « j'ai un problème avec le sexe, aide-moi » peut être plus intime que le sexe lui-même. Pourquoi ça compte : ça retourne complètement la logique des drapeaux rouges. Le défaut avoué relie, le défaut caché détruit.5. Questions posées dans l'interviewComment l'idéal romantique de l'âme sœur a-t-il façonné ce que nous attendons de l'amour, et quels sont les pièges de ces attentes ?Comment prend-on du recul par rapport à un idéal romantique dans lequel nous baignons depuis toujours ?Que valent les papillons dans le ventre, et que sommes-nous censés ressentir quand nous tombons amoureux ?Faut-il suivre son intuition en amour, ou s'en méfier ?Que pensez-vous de l'idée que l'amour dure trois ans ?Quelles sont les attentes réalistes qu'on peut avoir d'une relation ?Existe-t-il des drapeaux rouges fiables, et quelles questions faut-il poser dès les premiers dîners ?Nous vivons dans une société sans friction, Uber, Airbnb, tout doit être fluide. Cherche-t-on aussi un partenaire sans friction ?Est-ce que les hommes hétérosexuels sont plus démunis que les femmes face à leurs propres émotions ?Comment accueillir la folie de son partenaire sans se perdre soi-même ?Peut-on faire changer quelqu'un, et à quelle vitesse ?Comment garder le désir sexuel vivant dans un couple qui s'aime depuis longtemps ?Pourquoi tant d'hommes réclament-ils aujourd'hui des relations ouvertes ?Pourquoi deux personnes qui se sont profondément aimées deviennent-elles des étrangères ?Peut-on pardonner une infidélité, et comment ?Comment savoir qu'on a vraiment tout essayé et qu'il faut partir ?Comment la société devrait-elle évoluer pour améliorer la qualité de nos relations ?Peut-on faire trop de thérapie ?6. Références citées dans l'épisodeAuteurs et philosophesLa Rochefoucauld (≈ 02:48) : « Il y a des gens qui n'auraient jamais été amoureux s'ils n'avaient jamais entendu parler de l'amour. » La citation matrice de tout l'épisode, reprise plus tard à propos du polyamour (≈ 56:47).Sénèque (≈ 17:34) : « Pourquoi pleurer sur des parties de la vie ? Elle appelle tout entière les larmes. » Cité comme exemple de pessimisme réconfortant.Nietzsche (≈ 19:44) : pour vivre, nous avons besoin de certaines illusions.Freud (≈ 33:26) : le complexe d'Œdipe, relu comme modèle des compétences nécessaires à l'âge adulte. Alain note au passage que Freud écrivait mal et qu'il a besoin d'être commenté.Spinoza (≈ 33:50 et ≈ 42:55) : cité comme exemple de penseur qui ne dit pas le meilleur de sa pensée, puis L'Éthique comme exemple de complexité que nous aimons pour de mauvaises raisons.Racine, Shakespeare, Tolstoï (≈ 49:05) : convoqués pour dire que même la plus belle éloquence ne fait pas bouger quelqu'un qui est fermé émotionnellement.Flaubert, Madame Bovary (≈ 59:09) : Emma lit les mauvais livres, ceux qui lui disent que sa vie est ennuyeuse.Livres et créations d'Alain de BottonLe cours de l'amour (The Course of Love) (≈ 00:33) : cité par moi en intro comme le livre qui m'a marqué.The School of Life (≈ 00:33 et ≈ 1:27:43) : l'institution qu'il a fondée, sa chaîne YouTube, et le terrain de ses explorations à venir.Livre français discuté sans être nomméL'amour dure trois ans (≈ 17:34) : je lui soumets la thèse, il répond qu'il ne connaît pas le livre, se félicite qu'il ne soit pas traduit en anglais et refuse d'y croire un vendredi matin à 11h20. [Auteur non nommé dans l'épisode : Frédéric Beigbeder]Cinéma et cultureÉric Rohmer (≈ 59:09) : le cinéaste qui nous apprend la patience des conversations ordinaires.Gladiator (≈ 59:09) : l'exemple inverse, le récit à l'échelle héroïque qui rend la vie quotidienne décevante.Personnes citéesEsther Perel (≈ 18:20) : mentionnée comme la voix à convoquer sur la durée du désir.Invitée d'un précédent épisode de Vlan! (≈ 1:27:26) : je mentionne une conversation qui m'a fait comprendre que le bruit est surtout intérieur. [Nom mal transcrit dans le fichier, à vérifier avant publication]Lieux et imagesLe Bois de Boulogne (≈ 25:39) : l'exemple de l'exhibitionniste.Sainte-Lucie, Saint-Barthélemy (≈ 1:09:21) : les îles de son histoire de plage, la démonstration la plus drôle de notre amnésie sentimentale.Timestamps clés00:00 — Pourquoi cet épisode est en anglais J'explique en français le contexte de l'épisode et pourquoi je tenais à le proposer malgré la barrière de la langue.00:33 — Alain de Botton, School of Life et Le cours de l'amour Mon introduction : pourquoi ce livre m'a marqué, et pourquoi les 20 ou 30 questions les plus difficiles sur l'amour sont réunies ici.02:35 — « Certains ne seraient jamais tombés amoureux s'ils n'en avaient jamais entendu parler » La maxime de La Rochefoucauld comme point de départ : nos émotions ne poussent pas dans le vide, elles sont encouragées par la société. L'idéal romantique nous dit que l'autre doit tout deviner sans qu'on ait à parler.04:59 — La question simple qui fait tomber l'idéal Comment saurai-je que je suis aimé ? À quoi le reconnaîtrai-je ? Vingt personnes dans une pièce donneront vingt réponses différentes selon leur âge, leur pays et leur musique. Nous sommes des créatures hautement suggestibles, et c'est ce qui nous rend libres de changer.06:27 — Les papillons dans le ventre, deux heures suffisent-elles ? Je raconte cette femme rencontrée récemment qui, après deux heures, savait déjà qu'elle ne ressentait rien.07:07 — La solitude originelle et la quête de la maison De l'intérieur d'un corps à l'extérieur du monde, du doudou serré dans les bras à l'adolescence qui cherche un autre corps. Les papillons, c'est la reconnaissance d'une maison perdue, dans une couleur de cheveux, une odeur, un angle de cou, un certain humour.10:58 — Mariages arrangés, romantisme, et le retournement Le passage de la logique dynastique au règne du sentiment, entre 1750 et 1870. Une révolution qui a produit des résultats bien plus paradoxaux qu'on ne le croit.12:52 — La statistique qui fait mal Les enfants d'alcooliques tombent massivement amoureux de personnes qui ont un problème d'addiction. Nous ne sommes pas attirés par le bonheur, nous sommes attirés par le familier.15:43 — Faut-il suivre son intuition ? Non sans la soumettre à examen. Et surtout : tenez un journal de ce que vous vivez, parce que la mémoire réécrit tout. Faites confiance à ce que vous avez ressenti sur le moment, pas à ce que vous imaginez maintenant.17:34 — « L'amour dure trois ans » ? Sa réaction est une des plus drôles de l'épisode. Puis l'argument sérieux : nos goûts ne changent pas si vite, et on ne change pas d'amis tous les trois ans.19:59 — Personne n'est sain d'esprit La seule attente réaliste : quelqu'un capable d'annoncer sa folie juste avant de la vivre, et de s'en excuser après. Il vaut mille fois mieux quelqu'un qui dit « j'ai peur de l'intimité » que quelqu'un qui ne répond plus au téléphone.21:37 — Drapeaux rouges : les vraies questions du premier dîner Un premier dîner est un entretien psychologique. Demandez l'histoire de la personne, sa relation avec ses parents, et observez surtout sa capacité à répondre. « Je ne sais pas, je n'y ai jamais pensé » est en soi une réponse.24:28 — La moitié d'entre nous a peur de s'approcher Environ 50 % des gens portent l'idée inconsciente que se rapprocher de quelqu'un finit mal. Presque tout le monde veut aimer, et presque tout le monde a un obstacle.25:39 — Les perversions sexuelles comme terreurs de l'intimité L'exhibitionniste, le voyeur, et jusqu'au cas le plus tragique. Toutes des manières de refuser la réciprocité. Et le même mécanisme, en version douce, chez l'amant qui promet de rappeler et ne rappelle jamais.28:50 — La vie sans friction et le partenaire sans friction Je lui parle du livre que je veux écrire sur la société du sans-couture, et de cette manie de collectionner les gens en les jetant dès la première imperfection.29:53 — Et si l'IA aidait vraiment les couples ? Son scénario optimiste : une intelligence artificielle témoin du couple, qui signale ce qu'on n'a pas entendu. « Il a mentionné son père trois fois et vous n'avez rien dit. »32:06 — Les applis de rencontre sont des machines à sous Leur modèle repose sur l'échec répété et la promesse du prochain coup. Un appel direct aux entrepreneurs qui écoutent.33:26 — Le complexe d'Œdipe, enfin expliqué utilement Ce que Freud voulait vraiment dire, et pourquoi il l'a mal dit. L'enfant a besoin d'être reconnu comme désirable sans jamais être séduit, et sans jamais être ignoré. Les deux dangers symétriques.38:18 — Pourquoi les conversations entre hommes hétérosexuels sont si ennuyeuses Ça commence dans la cour de récréation, quand pleurer devient une accusation. Ça finit par un adulte qui ne peut dire presque rien de ce qu'il est.40:36 — Quand une remarque sur des chaussures est entendue comme une condamnation à mort Pourquoi certaines personnes vivent toute critique comme une annihilation, et ce que ça révèle de ce qui leur est déjà arrivé.42:55 — Un plaidoyer pour la simplicité Nous adorons la complexité, Spinoza, l'astrophysique, et nous la respectons parfois là où elle n'a rien à faire. Trois heures de discussion quatre fois par semaine sur le sens d'un mot n'est pas une preuve de profondeur.44:26 — Ce qu'est l'amour mature Savoir s'excuser, séparer le passé du présent, distinguer la personne en face de soi de son père ou de sa mère. Et l'analogie du coureur olympique : tout le monde ne peut pas être dans votre équipe.46:36 — On ne change pas sur ordre Les gens changent, mais quand ils le décident, jamais sous la pression. Plus vous insistez, moins c'est possible.47:58 — L'âge émotionnel n'a rien à voir avec l'âge civil Nous tombons amoureux de personnes qui ont notre âge émotionnel. D'où les écarts de vingt ans qui fonctionnent, et les couples du même âge qui se décrochent.49:05 — L'aveu le plus vulnérable de l'épisode Il vit de l'idée que les mots transforment les gens. Et il reconnaît que le traumatisme ferme des portes qu'aucune éloquence n'ouvre. Certaines ruptures naissent exactement là.51:42 — Le désir qui s'éteint dans un couple aimant Le conflit entre le besoin de paraître respectable et la vérité de nos désirs. Plus on a besoin de quelqu'un, moins on ose lui montrer qui on est vraiment.54:17 — Polyamour : « du sang sur le tapis » Son expérience personnelle des amis qui appellent à trois heures du matin. Sans condamner celles et ceux pour qui ça fonctionne.55:51 — L'hôtel, et le partenaire redevenu inconnu La proposition concrète : sortir de la routine, et se rappeler que la personne qu'on croit connaître par cœur reste largement une inconnue.56:23 — Pourquoi tant d'hommes veulent une relation ouverte Une lecture historique et économique du mariage bourgeois, et ce qui se libère quand la contrainte financière disparaît.58:33 — Les histoires d'amour finissent toutes trop tôt Les films s'arrêtent au moment où les deux se trouvent. On ne les voit jamais préparer le dîner vingt ans plus tard.59:09 — Madame Bovary lisait les mauvais livres Rohmer contre Gladiator. Ce que nous regardons décide de ce que nous jugeons digne d'intérêt dans notre propre vie.1:01:06 — La passion, mais psychologique Deux personnes pressées de se retrouver le soir pour reparler de leur enfance. Se mettre psychologiquement à nu, voilà l'aventure qui ne s'épuise jamais.1:02:49 — Le chagrin d'amour est une forme de mort Il refuse de minimiser. Certains en meurent. Et c'est pire quand on ne comprend pas pourquoi l'autre est parti.1:04:09 — Les règles de la décence quand on quitte quelqu'un On prend une amende pour 25 km/h de trop, et on peut disparaître de la vie de quelqu'un après vingt ans sans que personne ne dise rien. Son message le plus direct : si vous savez, partez maintenant.1:07:17 — Peut-on rester amis ? Plus vous avez aimé, plus l'amitié sera pâle. Le meilleur terrain pour une amitié après coup, c'est ironiquement quand on ne s'est pas beaucoup aimés.1:09:21 — Le fichier « problèmes avec X » et l'histoire de la plage Sa méthode contre l'amnésie sentimentale, illustrée par son incapacité chronique à se souvenir qu'il déteste la plage.1:12:11 — L'enfant est une perte, et il faut le savoir La structure tragique de la parentalité, les associations inconscientes qui s'installent quand quelqu'un devient père ou mère, et pourquoi le sexe devient plus compliqué.1:13:47 — « L'équilibre vie pro vie perso n'existe pas » Tout ce qui vaut la peine d'être fait déséquilibre la vie. Il vaut mieux se préparer que se plaindre.1:14:44 — Un plaidoyer pour le compromis Rester pour les enfants n'est pas automatiquement une lâcheté. Refuser tout compromis, c'est un système totalitaire appliqué à sa propre vie.1:16:14 — Comment savoir qu'il est temps de partir Quand vous avez vraiment tout essayé. Les six mois de plus qui semblent perdus vous économisent des années de regrets.1:19:42 — L'infidélité comme tentative de se rapprocher Certaines trahisons disent l'inverse de ce qu'on croit : je ne veux pas sortir, je veux entrer.1:20:59 — La folie de l'autre comme chemin vers l'intimité « J'ai un problème avec le sexe, aide-moi » peut créer plus d'intimité que le sexe. Ce n'est pas la nature du problème qui compte, c'est la manière dont il est porté.1:23:07 — La question qu'on ne lui pose jamais Personne ne l'interroge sur Œdipe ni sur l'exhibitionnisme. Il vient de dire ce qu'il attendait depuis longtemps de pouvoir dire.1:24:10 — L'âge psychologique de l'amour Après les mariages arrangés et l'ère romantique, une troisième époque s'ouvre. Il n'y a qu'une seule voie, l'intelligence émotionnelle.1:25:00 — Peut-on faire trop de thérapie ? Non, mais on peut la faire mal. Et beaucoup de thérapeutes sont mauvais, imposant leur vision du monde à leurs patients.1:26:38 — La porte qu'il ferme : l'anxiété Ce que nous cherchons derrière l'argent, la gloire et l'amour, c'est le calme du nourrisson qui vient de manger.1:27:26 — « Le bruit intérieur a d'abord été un bruit extérieur » La phrase de fin, en une ligne.1:27:43 — Ce qui l'attend La School of Life, et cette immense toile sombre de la vie émotionnelle dont il découvre un morceau à la fois. Suggestion d'autres épisodes à écouter : [BEST OF] Esther Perel : repenser le couple à l'âge du choix infini (https://audmns.com/fHyNTYA) [Hors-Serie] Tout ce que j'aurais voulu savoir en amour avec Alain de Botton (partie 1) (https://audmns.com/jiDhQhD) [Hors serie] Tout ce que j'aurais voulu savoir en amour avec Alain de Botton (partie 2) (https://audmns.com/vUBKEkK)Hébergé par Audiomeans. Visitez audiomeans.fr/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Sitting down with Eva Longoria, to talk about her “Searching For” culinary series. Also, Oscar and Golden Globe-winning Ariana Debose stops by to discuss her role alongside Jamie Lee Curtis in the series “Scarpetta”. Plus, Chinese adoptee Taylor Shennett discusses her journey discovering and celebrating her heritage with the help of her adoptive parents. And, psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel discusses modern dating and how to rekindle desire with your partner. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This episode is devoted to one deceptively simple question: How do you stay close to your partner over time through the inevitable exhaustion, misunderstanding, conflict, disappointment, and change?This episode is brought to you by:Eight Sleep Pod Cover 5 with dual-zone temperature control, so each partner sleeps at their perfect temperatureIn this episode: Esther Perel begins with the basics: appreciation, affection, and replacing chronic complaints with clear requests.Brené Brown explains why marriage is never 50/50 and how she and her husband create what Brené calls a “plan of kindness.” Brad Feld describes the monthly “life dinners” that have helped him and his wife review the previous 30 days, talk honestly about the future, and prevent resentments from building upJim Dethmer offers a practical way to distinguish observable facts from the stories we make up about our partners.Sheila Heen explains how humor and genuine curiosity can serve as an interrupt on an argument that is heating up The late Dr. Sue Johnson then walks us through a “Hold Me Tight” conversation—a way of moving beneath anger and defensiveness to the fear, vulnerability, and need for connection underneath.Terry Real then offers a strikingly simple model for repair and introduces the term “normal marital hatred” - as he put it, nobody ever goes up to him and says “What do you mean by that?!”Finally, Diana Chapman describes what it means to let an outdated version of a marriage end so that two people can consciously choose what comes next for their relationship.Timestamps:Intro from Tim: 00:00:00Esther Perel: 00:01:58Brené Brown: 00:08:21Brad Feld: 00:12:02Jim Dethmer: 00:16:51Shelia Heen: 00:23:04Dr. Sue Johnson: 00:29:26Terry Real: 00:40:14Diana Chapman: 00:46:19Short bios:Esther Perel is an internationally renowned psychotherapist, the New York Times bestselling author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, and the host of the award-winning podcast Where Should We Begin?Brené Brown is the author of six number-one New York Times bestsellers exploring courage, vulnerability, shame, and resilience; a research professor at the University of Houston; and a professor of practice at the University of Texas at Austin.Brad Feld is an early-stage investor and entrepreneur and a co-founder of Foundry Group, Mobius Venture Capital, and Techstars. He writes on entrepreneurship, leadership, mental health, and sustaining a life beyond work.Jim Dethmer is a co-founder of the Conscious Leadership Group and co-author of The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, an influential framework for building candid, responsible, high-trust relationships.Sheila Heen is the deputy director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, founder of Triad Consulting Group, and co-author of the New York Times bestsellers Difficult Conversations and Thanks for the Feedback.Dr. Sue Johnson was the pioneering clinical psychologist who created Emotionally Focused Therapy. She was named Psychologist of the Year by the American Psychological Association and appointed to the Order of Canada for her global impact on psychotherapy.Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, a bestselling author, and the creator of Relational Life Therapy. He has spent more than four decades helping couples restore intimacy and connection.Diana Chapman is co-author of The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, a cofounder of the Conscious Leadership Group, and founder of the Signal Institute, working with leaders on radical honesty, somatic intelligence, and transformation.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim's email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when AI becomes more than a tool—and starts becoming a thinking partner, emotional regulator, therapist, or even a relationship? In this episode, we're getting very honest about our own relationships with ChatGPT, Claude, and AI: how often we use them, what we actually find helpful, and the parts that already make us a little nervous.We're digging into the tension between the convenience of AI and the very human things we don't want to lose: creativity, critical thinking, emotional regulation, vulnerability, and real connection. Is AI helping us think—or slowly teaching us not to? Can an always-available chatbot change what we expect from relationships? And what happens when people start turning to AI for therapy, dating advice, companionship, and comfort? This one left both of us thinking about some boundaries we may need to put in place.Episode Highlights[0:40] - Confessing how much we're actually using AI in our everyday lives.[2:29] - Why AI can feel like another relationship where you're just not being understood.[4:10] - The “ick” of AI validation, false flattery, and having a companion who never gets annoyed.[5:35] - Where AI shines as a strategic thinking partner for work, career moves, and problem-solving.[7:05] - Using AI for emotional regulation—and why we're starting to see some genuine value in it.[9:06] - Why AI support can't replace human co-regulation, responsiveness, and connection.[11:34] - Are we eliminating the “friction of humanity” by choosing synthetic relationships over messy real ones?[12:56] - How quickly AI has infiltrated our lives—and why that raises questions about cognitive atrophy.[14:40] - What GPS can teach us about outsourcing our memory, thinking, and problem-solving.[16:00] - Creativity, imagination, and the danger of letting AI do the messy ideating for us.[17:55] - Why we may need to think for ourselves before asking AI what it thinks.[18:27] - Esther Perel, AI relationships, and the reality of people forming bonds with artificial companions.[20:08] - Dating, rejection, vulnerability, and why synthetic relationships may become especially seductive.[23:04] - Asking AI what someone else is thinking—and whether AI could eventually replace parts of therapy.[24:06] - What happened when a young couple arrived at therapy already armed with AI-generated attachment insights.[26:39] - AI couples therapy: far-fetched idea or something therapists need to prepare for now?[27:17] - The human advantage: presence, relational skills, nuance, and the personal touch AI can't fully replicate.[28:58] - The Master and His Emissary, right-brain thinking, and protecting the parts of ourselves that make us beautifully human.[30:25] - Why human beings being flawed, nuanced, and messy may be exactly what's worth holding onto.If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here's to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Cette newsletter va vous choquer car vous pensez savoir et vous allez réaliser que non. Notre téléphone est ce que nous touchons le plus dans notre vie avant même le corps de nos enfants ou de notre partenaire. Nous vivons une épidémie silencieuse d'addiction technologique, et contrairement à ce qu'on veut nous faire croire, ce n'est pas de notre faute.Et voici mon tedx : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vhzd2fPtduE&t=18s&pp=ygUJcG91eSB0ZWR4En 2014, il y a 11 ans, ma petite amie de l'époque m'offrait un livre intitulé « Se débrancher chaque jour pour une meilleure vie ».C'est à peu près à cette même époque que je lisais Eli Pariser et sa bulle de filtre.Bref, cela fait longtemps que j'ai un souci avec les écrans, et c'est évidemment lié à ma nature curieuse mais aussi à mon travail de créateur de contenus par définition (ou au moins, c'est l'excuse que je me trouve).Dix ans plus tard, force est de constater que le problème ne s'est pas arrangé. Bien au contraire. Il s'est développé, infiltrant chaque recoin de mon quotidien avec une efficacité terrifiante.Et les études me prouvent que c'est sans doute pareil pour vous.Le sentiment partagé d'une difficulté à s'en libérer est bien réel mais ce n'est pas un manque de volonté individuelle, mais un problème systémique et culturel, intentionnellement conçu.Comme me le rappelle Johann Hari, que j'ai eu la chance de recevoir récemment sur Vlan!, notre attention a été volée. Les réseaux sociaux sont délibérément conçus pour nous rendre complètement addicts.Parce que je suis de bonne volonté et que regarder les heures perdues sur ces réseaux m'effraient, je me suis mis une limite de temps et après 30 minutes quand je vais sur Instagram, LinkedIn ou TikTok, j'ai ce petit message qui me rappelle que « non Greg, c'est pas bien ».Ça me donne une illusion de contrôle, c'est bien mais inutile en réalité, je le passe d'un mouvement de pouce rapide et ferme.Comme tout le monde, je me suis fait manipuler.Je ne sais pas vous, mais je trouve ça frustrant de le savoir, de comprendre un peu près les impacts - et pourtant de ne pas réussir à reprendre le contrôle. Je n'aime pas cette « faiblesse » que j'observe chez moi.C'est terrible parce que je me vois faire et je peste parce que c'est plus fort que moi.Cette newsletter, c'est ma tentative de comprendre pourquoi nous en sommes arrivés là, et surtout, comment nous pouvons nous en sortir - collectivement.Car il ne s'agit pas que de notre addiction compulsive à notre smartphone et de plus en plus à l'IA, mais de l'impact que cela peut avoir sur notre cerveau, notre Q.I., notre Q.E., notre capacité à réfléchir avec une pensée critique et à fonctionner avec d'autres.Après cette newsletter, vous allez vous observer vos usages de manière différente.La psychotherapeute Esther Perel parle d'une « atrophie sociale » - l'atrophie dans le corps, c'est quand un muscle n'est pas assez utilisé, alors il disparaît.ll semblerait qu'il se passe la même chose pour nous et qu'en réalité, cela va beaucoup plus loin que ça.Ne vous attendez pas à ce que je vous dise de faire çi ou ça ou que je sois vent debout contre les technologies.Je suis - vous l'aurez compris –un usager frénétique de mon mobile et de l'IA. Je serai donc mal placé pour vous donner des conseils que je ne mets moi-même pas en place ou vous dire que la technologie c'est mal.Néanmoins, je vais partager avec vous les pare-feux que j'essaie de mettre en place pour me prémunir de tout ce que je vais vous expliquer. C'est plus qu'urgent !Hébergé par Audiomeans. Visitez audiomeans.fr/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

I had a conversation recently that completely changed the way I think about relationships.We were talking about the idea that the people who trigger us are often simply mirrors - revealing patterns, wounds and lessons that already existed within us. That if we hadn't met that person, life would simply have found another way to teach us the same thing.And I understand that perspective.But I don't believe it.Because what if the person and the lesson aren't so easily separated? What if the meaning doesn't simply exist waiting to be discovered, but is actually created through the relationship itself?The timing. The chemistry. The love. The conflict. The things you bring out in one another. The version of yourself that only seems to exist in the presence of that particular person.One perspective says: they were your mirror.The other says: you created alchemy together.And perhaps the most interesting possibility is that both can be true.In this episode, I explore that tension through the ideas of Carl Jung, Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, Viktor Frankl, Alfred Adler and Rainer Maria Rilke - and through a very real conversation with someone who sees relationships almost completely differently from me.Because perhaps the question isn't whether someone was the one or simply a lesson.Perhaps it's this:Can someone be both the mirror that shows you yourself and the alchemy that changes you?x Send us Fan MailSupport the showCatch me weekly! x

Stop ‘chopping’ your cushions. Our bossiest bedroom boyfriend says so. The hidden cost of being married might be in that dripping tap. Get access to Very Peri, Mamamia's exclusive perimenopause series, for just $59. 25 world-leading experts, over 20 on-demand sessions, available now. We’ve sorted through the noise so you don't have to. Go to veryperi.com.au and join me today. You hot? Same. Buy today and save 40% The world’s most-tracked vagina and her fancy techno-tampon. Why Mia doesn’t mind if you hate her clothes, Em’s excited about basket-sex and Holly is not angry, just disappointed by the men in her house and her garden. Recommendations Em recommends Colin From Accounts Mia recommends a Maze Matt fidget toy Holly recommends Say Nothing by Patrick Radden Kieth Keen for more? Check out the Mamamia Out Loud newsletter. Check out Mia's photo dump here. What To Listen To Next: Listen to our latest episode: The Exact Moment You Realise You're An Adult Listen: The Luke Bateman Fantasy & Millennial Wedding Bingo Listen: "Emma Grede Disease" & The Trap For Female Founders Listen: Ariana Retreats & Are Your Friends Anchors Or Sails? Listen: Leg Hair Harassment & The Age We’d Be Again Listen: Brad Pitt & 'The Half Life Wife' Listen: Inside Our Very Own Morning Wars Connect your subscription to Apple Podcasts Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here including the very latest episode of Parenting Out Loud, the parenting podcast for people who don't listen to... parenting podcasts. SUBSCRIBE here: Support independent women's media You can now watch our show in full length video on the Apple Podcast app - make sure your phone is up to date and we can't wait for you to see Mamamia Out Loud on Apple What to read: 'I'm not nagging, I'm delegating.' Women are absolutely fed up with the mental load. 'I asked my husband to take on the mental load of feeding his dog. Here’s how it’s going. Olivia Wilde was served custody papers on stage. Then Tom Cruise said something she'll never forget. Do this today to live longer. THE END BITS: Check out our merch at MamamiaOutLoud.com GET IN TOUCH: Feedback? We’re listening. Send us an email at outloud@mamamia.com.au Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message. Join our Facebook group Mamamia Outlouders to talk about the show. Follow us on Instagram @mamamiaoutloud and on Tiktok @mamamiaoutloud CREDITS: Hosts: Holly Wainwright, Mia Freedman & Emily Vernem Acting Group Executive Producer: Emeline Gazilas Executive Producer: Grace Rouvray Video Producer: Josh Green Associate Producer: Tessa Kotowicz Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast. Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Esther Perel is a best-selling author and podcaster, and is no stranger to talking about topics that other people might shy away from. Her podcast 'Where Should We Begin' has her speaking to real couples about the problems in their relationships, and her seminal book 'Mating In Captivity' has sold over a million copies and turns 20 this year. She joins Jess ahead of her Australian tour to speak about staying intimate in a relationship, the importance of surprising your partner, and how technology has changed relationships. Get tickets to see Esther Perel live here: https://www.tegdainty.com/tour/ep26web/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/X6XlopnN9DM Follow Jess Rowe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessjrowe/ And TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@craphousewife See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do so many loving relationships lose their passion? Has technology changed the way we connect forever? And what does it really take to build a love that stays alive?In one of the most anticipated conversations on A Life of Greatness, world-renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author and relationship expert Esther Perel returns to the podcast for a profound discussion about love, intimacy, desire and the changing landscape of modern relationships.Twenty years after her groundbreaking book Mating in Captivity, Esther reflects on why her work feels more relevant than ever. She and Sarah explore why certainty has become one of the greatest threats to romance, why love and desire aren't always driven by the same forces, and why so many of us are unknowingly starving our relationships of the very things that keep them alive.In this episode, you'll learn:Why the person who feels like home can be the last person you desireThe quiet habit that kills attraction in long-term relationshipsWhy great sex has less to do with compatibility than you thinkWhat desire actually wants, and why it isn't more closenessHow dating apps and AI are quietly rewiring the way we loveWhether you're single, dating, married or simply curious about what makes relationships flourish, this is timeless wisdom from one of the world's leading voices on human connection.Follow Esther Perel:

Karen reviews Sex Diaries, the new collection of erotic anonymous week-long diaries focusing on nonmonogamous adventures, based on the popular New York Magazine column.In this episode:Sex Diaries, edited by Alyssa Shelasky Host, sex educator, and writer Karen Yates Get Say It Better in Bed, Karen's free guide to upping your intimacy pleasure. Download here!Show your love for Wild & Sublime: Leave a tip!The Afterglow, our Patreon membership group, brings you regular bonus content, early alerts, and discounts to live shows! Be Wild & Sublime out in the world!  Check out our tees and accessories for maximum visibility. Support the showFollow Wild & Sublime on Instagram and Facebook!

Most people spend their lives trying to find a relationship that works, but psychotherapist and bestselling author Esther Perel believes that just living day to day isn't the same as truly feeling alive. In this deeply moving conversation from Making Space, the relationship expert sits down with Hoda Kotb to pull back the curtain on why passion often fades in partnerships and how couples can bridge the distance when they start to drift apart. She and Hoda explore the delicate balance between love and desire, discussing why the space we keep, the mystery we preserve, and the ways we ignite ourselves matter in a world that often feels contactless. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How do you make plain water feel like a $300 fragrance?Allison Cullman, SVP of Marketing at Hint Water, joins Daniel to break down a campaign that turned hydration into pure desire (and why it worked). She explains why wellness got exhausting for consumers, so Hint stopped selling zero sugar and zero calories and started selling to emotions.Plus the brand's first OnlyFans page, placements from Love Island to Esther Perel, and why building future demand beats chasing the sale in front of you. If you're a Marketer who wants to take a bolder brand swing, this episode is for YOU.Do yourself a favor and hit follow so you never miss an episode, and drop us a rating while you're at it. It genuinely helps.Follow Allison: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allison-cullman-03829731/ Follow Daniel: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@themarketingmillennials/featured Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Dmurr68 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniel-murray-marketing Sign up for The Marketing Millennials newsletter: www.workweek.com/brand/the-marketing-millennials Daniel is a Workweek friend, working to produce amazing podcasts. To find out more, visit: www.workweek.com

What happens when two become three, or four, or five? Who is responsible for the needs and wants of a couple when days are filled with playdates, pick-ups, and meal preps? Nights lack the erotic energy that couples need not only to survive but to thrive. This week, Dr. Becky consults with the renowned couples therapist, Esther Perel, to talk about what parents can do to rekindle their desires. * Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible: SmartyPants: Shop SmartyPants Vitamins at Target, Walmart, or Amazon today Airbnb: Host your home or book your next stay on Airbnb LMNT: Get a free gift with your purchase at drinkLMNT.com/goodinside Skylight: Get $30 off a 15-inch Skylight Calendar at myskylight.com/becky Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sex is sometimes a taboo topic. Not today! Intimacy expert Ita O’Brien tells us all about the new normal in the bedroom, and how she’s introduced it to Hollywood.

【主播的话】十几年前，还在读研究生的於嘉向一本知名社会科学期刊投了一篇自己刚写完的论文——关于中国人结婚影响因素的研究。但很快，她收到了拒信。期刊的专家当时认为，选题意义不大，因为中国并不存在所谓的“结婚率下降”的问题。十几年过去，这个曾被认为“并不存在”的问题变成了全民的焦虑，牵动了全国甚至是全球的神经。於嘉也从学校里毕业，成为了北京大学光华管理学院的一名老师，专事与婚姻、家庭、人口结构有关的研究。婚姻制度已经延续了千年。而於嘉认为，我们当下这一代，或许是人类历史上第一代可以选择“不结婚”的人。人们为什么不结婚了？哪些条件的出现让人们可以选择不婚？对今天的人来说，结婚究竟仍然意味着什么？我们的对话从这里开始，聊了很多尖锐又诚实的问题：年轻人还做爱吗？答案是，越来越少了——短视频、游戏、和父母同住，正在悄悄挤压亲密的空间。当机器人可以拥有和真人无异的体温与触感，是男人还是女人，会更愿意选择机器人？人工智能的拟人陪伴，正在如何重塑我们对爱与亲密的想象？而那些在婚姻中沉默的中年人、被遗忘的中间地带——他们的欲望与匮乏，又该由谁看见？这是一场关于亲密关系底层逻辑的重新勘探：性、婚姻、家庭，从来不只是私人的事，它们是理解一个时代最诚实的切口。於嘉把这些思考，浓缩在了一档付费音频节目里。今年早些在看理想APP已经上线：《爱与怕：当代婚姻的困境与出路》。我们将在本集节目的评论区抽取三名幸运听众，送出这档音频节目的免费收听码。欢迎大家踊跃评论。【本期主播】若含：小红书@若含王磬：微博@王磬【本期嘉宾】於嘉：北京大学社会研究中心长聘副教授，看理想《爱与怕：当代婚姻的困境与出路》主讲人【本期剧透】04:49 十年前，学术界认为婚姻与家庭是鸡毛蒜皮的小话题，不值得关注10:41 研究性与爱的挑战：在“敏感地带”寻找真实数据 18:40 这五年里，中国人的性欲望萎缩了吗？23:26 男性或女性，会更愿意选择机器人性伴侣？ 29:25 男女性别观为什么会产生“时差”？33:23 “蜜月效应”：全球伴侣进入稳定关系后，激情都会下降39:36 超过 1/5 的中年人在过无性生活42:50 中国迎来了历史上第一代真正可以主动选择不结婚的人49:13 解绑沉重的婚姻 ：单身生育、同居保障，优化离婚程序...01:01:01 全球生育率下降是不可逆的吗？【相关阅读】《爱与怕：当代婚姻的困境与出路》於嘉老师在“看理想” APP 上推出的音频节目，从社会学、人口学、性别研究等视角出发，依托真实数据与访谈，剖析这个时代真实的婚姻困境，重塑我们对亲密关系的想象。这份指南，给不婚的、犹疑的，以及身在其中的我们，解剖当代婚姻的现实困境，探讨亲密关系中的爱与怕。雪儿·海蒂（Shere Hite）美裔德国性教育家、女权主义者，生于美国，1995年放弃美国国籍，加入德国籍。著有《海蒂性学报告》等畅销性学读物。雪儿·海特的研究主要是个人的性体验及其意义。她研究的结论是：70%的女性无法通过抽插式性交达到高潮，而如果通过手淫或其他方式直接刺激阴蒂则她们很容易获得高潮埃丝特·佩瑞尔（Esther Perel）婚恋心理咨询师、《纽约时报》畅销书作家，被认为是现代亲密关系领域最具洞察力和独创见解的人。她精通 9 门语言，在纽约市从事咨询业务，拥有35年的从业经验，并为全球财富500强企业担任组织顾问。著有国际畅销书《亲密陷阱：爱、欲望与平衡艺术》《危险关系：爱、背叛与修复之路》。刘达临上海人，北京大学新闻系毕业，上海大学社会系教授，曾任亚洲性学联合会副主席、上海性社会学研究中心主任、中华性文化展览馆馆长，著有《性社会学》《中国性文化史》《世界古代性文化》《世界当代性文化》等一百四十余部著作。潘绥铭现任中国人民大学性社会学研究所所长、社会学系教授、博士生导师，中国社会学会副秘书长。1984年毕业于东北师范大学历史系，获历史学硕士学位。曾留学美国，主要从事社会学研究方法、性社会学和性别人类学研究。出版有《神秘的圣火——性的社会学史》《中国性现状》《性，你真的懂了吗？》《存在与荒谬——中国地下性产业考察》《生存与体验》《当代中国大学生的性观念与性行为》《金西报告——人类男性性行为》等。【本期音乐】Kevin MacLeod - Bass Meant Jazz【节目制作】方改则【Logo设计】刘刘（ins: imjanuary)【互动方式】小红书@不合时宜微博@不合时宜TheWeirdo商务合作可发邮件至 hibuheshiyi@126.com 或微博私信会员计划咨询可添加微信：hibuheshiyi3 或发送邮件至 hibuhehsiyi@gmail.com

Welcome to Part 3 of our deep-dive mini series on A24's hit film The Invite. (If you haven't caught parts 1 and 2 yet, go back and listen, and major spoiler alert!) In this episode, Lauren and Trey unpack the aftermath of the movie's failed sexual encounter, dissecting the precise moment Penélope Cruz's character looks at the central couple and delivers a devastating truth: "This isn't loving."Lauren, a certified holistic sexuality educator and intimacy coach, shares her personal history with Esther Perel's groundbreaking text Mating in Captivity and connects the film's climax to bell hooks' philosophy that what many couples call "love" is actually mutual abuse and safety-seeking behavior.Trey and Lauren explore the exact signs that indicate it's more loving to consciously uncouple than to stay in a harmful relational container. Plus, they debate the film's ending: Did Seth Rogen and Olivia Wilde's characters blow up their lives for the better, or can a single moment of radical curiosity save a dying dynamic?Key TakeawaysDrawing on Katherine Woodward Thomas's Conscious Uncoupling and the writings of bell hooks, Lauren explains why staying in a mean-spirited, destructive relationship isn't "love." Cutting each other down or slamming doors is rarely about pure malice; it is usually an automated, childhood survival mechanism triggered by a somatic sense of threat.Lauren introduces Robert Sternberg's research on how human beings navigate romance. She explains how couples often plug their partners into pre-written narrative scripts (treating them like props or pawns) instead of relating to the living, breathing human in front of them.Referencing Esther Perel, Lauren breaks down the three specific scenarios where people feel most drawn to their long-term partner: when they are apart, when they see their partner in their element, and when their partner genuinely surprises them.If you and your partner are ready to stop operating out of old childhood survival scripts and learn how to communicate with radical curiosity, let's connect.Request your free 15-minute consult at sexedforyou.com/freeconsult.About ThemLauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia, where Lauren owns and operates Sex Ed for You. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, while increasing the possibility of pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence (World Health Organization).Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples, and families, as well as to the social and economic development of communities and countries (World Health Organization). When individuals are blocked from sexual health, they are often stunted in their ability to develop sensual play, embodied connection, and enjoyment.Learn More & ConnectLearn more about Sex Ed for You: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠Learn more about partnered communication and relational education on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠Subscribe to the YouTube channel for conversations about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast⁠Important RemindersThis is not a “how to” podcast, but rather a “how they” podcast. Lauren and Trey share personal experiences, perspectives, and reflections, inviting listeners to learn from what resonates, question what doesn't, and decide what feels aligned for their own lives.Lauren is not a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.

The Invite Part 2: Why Caretaking Kills Sexual DesireWelcome to Part 2 of our multi-part deep dive into A24's film The Invite. (If you haven't listened to Part 1 or seen the movie yet, major spoiler alert!) In this continuation, Lauren and Trey take an honest, unflinching look at the four lead characters to ask the ultimate psychosexual questions: Would you date them? Would you sleep with them? And what do their dynamic flaws reveal about modern long-term relationships?Lauren and Trey dismantle the hidden poisons that quietly destroy intimacy inside monogamous marriages. They explore why "caretaking" acts as a massive anti-aphrodisiac and how women's "erotic self-focus" gets shamed in long-term dynamics.From confronting the toxic "supposed tos" of marital sex to analyzing Esther Perel's famous framework; we will have many marriages in our lives, whether with the same partner or new ones. This episode is a masterclass in stepping out of "poor me" victim triangles and choosing true relational flourishing.Key TakeawaysAnalyzing Seth Rogen's miserable, back-pain-riddled character, Lauren explains why stepping into a "sweet mommy" or caretaker role completely kills erotic charge. Drawing on Esther Perel's work, she breaks down why primal sexual desire cannot exist where maternal or paternal caretaking takes over.The Male Isolation Epidemic: Trey reflects on his own male friendships, prompting Lauren to address the tragedy of male social conditioning. They dissect how culture discourages emotional vulnerability between straight men, forcing husbands to rely on their wives as their sole source of emotional anchor, connection, and touch.Lauren unpacks Esther Perel's cornerstone philosophy. As humans evolve over decades, relationship containers must either be consciously rebuilt from the inside or uncoupled. Assuming a partnership will stay the exact same through parenthood, career shifts, and perimenopause is a recipe for resentment.If you and your partner are caught in a loop of rejection, caretaking, or living on relational crumbs, it's time to rewrite your agreement. Let's work together to build a relationship container based on mutual desire and authentic agency.Request your free 15-minute consult at sexedforyou.com/freeconsult.About ThemLauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia, where Lauren owns and operates Sex Ed for You. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, while increasing the possibility of pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence (World Health Organization).Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples, and families, as well as to the social and economic development of communities and countries (World Health Organization). When individuals are blocked from sexual health, they are often stunted in their ability to develop sensual play, embodied connection, and enjoyment.Learn More & ConnectLearn more about Sex Ed for You: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠Learn more about partnered communication and relational education on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠Subscribe to the YouTube channel for conversations about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast⁠Important RemindersThis is not a “how to” podcast, but rather a “how they” podcast. Lauren and Trey share personal experiences, perspectives, and reflections, inviting listeners to learn from what resonates, question what doesn't, and decide what feels aligned for their own lives.Lauren is not a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.

Today, Louis speaks to actor, director and renaissance woman Olivia Wilde. Following the release of her film The Invite, the pair discuss the secrets to a healthy relationship, her unusual family name, and her experience in the 'garbage disposal' of tabloid media.   Warnings: Strong language and adult themes.     Links/Attachments:    Film: The Invite (2026)  https://a24films.com/films/the-invite     Film: I Want Your Sex (2026)  https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32332915/     Film: Booksmart (2019)  https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81061054    Film: Don't Worry Darling (2022)  https://www.netflix.com/title/81592177     Documentary: Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere (2026)  https://www.netflix.com/title/81920687     Book: The Happy Prince and Other Tales, Oscar Wilde (1888)  https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/31359/the-happy-prince-and-other-stories-by-wilde-oscar/9780241776285     Book: Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel (2006)  https://www.estherperel.com/mating-in-captivity     Podcast: Where Should We Begin? (2017 – present)  https://open.spotify.com/show/3fKOTwtnX5oZLaiNntKWAV     Advert: Dinner With the Russians, Cockburn's Special Reserve (1980)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17rOl7i55ag     Book: Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell (1949)  https://www.orwellfoundation.com/the-orwell-foundation/orwell/books-by-orwell/nineteen-eighty-four/     Credits:  Producer: Millie Chu   Assistant Producer: Maisie Williams  Production Manager: Francesca Bassett   Production Assistant: Artemis Chu  Music: Miguel D'Oliveira   Audio Mixer: Tom Guest  Video Mixer: Scott Edwards  Executive Producer: Arron Fellows       A Mindhouse Studios Production for Spotify   www.mindhouse.co.uk   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on Agony Aunties, they answer a listener's heartfelt question about what happens when a relationship begins to feel different. After two and a half years together, her boyfriend seems less affectionate, leaving her questioning whether this is simply the natural evolution of long-term love or a sign that something deeper has changed. The Agony Aunties explore why we so often create stories in our minds before having the conversation we most need to have, how old attachment patterns can shape our fears in relationships, and why vulnerability - not mind-reading - is the key to real intimacy. They also share practical tools from Esther Perel, the Gottmans and Terry Real on bids for connection, love languages, and how to have difficult conversations with warmth rather than blame. If you've ever found yourself analysing texts, worrying you've become 'too much', or wondering how to reconnect with your partner, this episode is for you. Send us your Agony Aunties questions: jsamuelpod@gmail.com Or message Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia's monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Grieving someone you love? Julia's Grief Works Support Programme offers structured, expert-led help, with 94% of people reporting feeling better after using it. As a podcast listener you can get 25% off plus a 30-day money-back guarantee here - ⁠⁠www.griefworks.com/therapy⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life's challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are recording from a brand-new space, and we have a very specific, mandatory homework assignment for you: Go watch the film The Invite.In this episode—part one of a multi-part deep dive—Lauren and Trey break down a cinematic masterpiece that had them squeezing each other's legs, cackling out loud, and talking straight through dinner on one of their top ten date nights of all time. With renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel serving as the film's consultant, The Invite is a masterclass in tension, long-term marital fatigue, and the boundary lines of modern desire.Key Takeaways:The Trope of the Therapist-Patient Romance: Penélope Cruz's character is a therapist dating her former patient (Edward Norton). Lauren unpacks why this highly eroticized trope is actually a massive clinical, ethical violation, discussing hierarchies of power, projection, and why AASECT enforces strict timeframes of up to 10 years before any such crossover can occur.The Liar vs. The Lie Invitee: Trey maps out how the married couple in the film operates entirely on "honesty when convenient." Lauren breaks down how partners routinely tell white lies to remain chosen, proving that the liar hides the truth because they can't handle their partner's reaction, while the "lie invitee" secretly plays along because they can't handle their own emotional response to the truth.Secrecy vs. Privacy: Where is the boundary line? Lauren defines a secret as the willful withholding of information that your partner has a direct right to in order to make informed decisions. Privacy, however, is a healthy boundary, like your personal fantasy life, solo sex practice, or your pin code, which does not affect the physical or emotional well-being of your spouse."Would You F*ck Yourself?": Directly addressing Esther Perel's famous clinical question, Lauren discusses why cultivating your own individual desirability, self-worth, and "fuckability" is entirely your job, not your partner's.If you are tired of surviving on relational crumbs and are ready to dismantle the "liar/lie invitee" patterns in your dynamic, let's build a stronger, more honest relational container together.Request your free 15-minute consult at sexedforyou.com/freeconsult.About ThemLauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia, where Lauren owns and operates Sex Ed for You. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, while increasing the possibility of pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence (World Health Organization).Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples, and families, as well as to the social and economic development of communities and countries (World Health Organization). When individuals are blocked from sexual health, they are often stunted in their ability to develop sensual play, embodied connection, and enjoyment.Learn More & ConnectLearn more about Sex Ed for You: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠Learn more about partnered communication and relational education on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠Subscribe to the YouTube channel for conversations about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast⁠Important RemindersThis is not a “how to” podcast, but rather a “how they” podcast. Lauren and Trey share personal experiences, perspectives, and reflections, inviting listeners to learn from what resonates, question what doesn't, and decide what feels aligned for their own lives.Lauren is not a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comStephen is a psychoanalyst and author. He used to teach clinical technique at the Institute of Psychoanalysis, and also psychoanalytic theory at University College London. He's the author of The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves, and his latest book is Love's Labor: How We Break and Make the Bonds of Love.For two clips of the episode — on what psychoanalysis is really for, and the benefits of friendship vs romantic love — head to our YouTube page.Other topics: born in Gary, Indiana; his birth defect requiring many surgeries; his Jewish family emigrating from Eastern Europe; college at Berkeley and Oxford; arrested at the Chicago Dem convention; befriending Anna Freud; Sigmund and his studies in hysteria; loneliness in adolescence; how falling in love is very different than love; my own psychoanalyst of 25 years; trauma from my childhood; the losses that marriage entails; breakthroughs after breakdowns; detaching from the idea of yourself; legal marriages vs psychological ones; falling back into trauma because it's familiar; the power of love's precarity; victimology; Philip Roth's “the ecstasy of sanctimony”; lessons from Othello; surrender vs submission; Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity; seeking traits in a partner that mirror a dysfunctional parent; how sex is different for men and women; gay promiscuity; male-male marriages lasting the longest; HIV and the threat of deportation; dating with HIV in the ‘90s; and how to be a better listener.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy. Coming up: David Thomson on cinema in US history and culture, John O'Sullivan on conservatism, Robby George on natural law, and Megan McArdle on pretty much anything. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.

I believe this is the most-listened-to episode ever on Pulling the Thread. It's a conversation that I had with therapist Esther Perel in 2023 that still stands to this day—but that's Esther for you. I think it also highlights how difficult it remains for many of us to get comfortable with conflict in our relationships, and to disagree and even fight, productively, with someone else. Whether you tend to avoid friction or go up in flames—or have a partner who does one or the other—I think you'll find Esther's framing compelling. For the show notes, head to my website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Curso NO Convencional de Comunicación en Pareja: https://www.hombrealfa.top/como-responder-cuando-tu-mujer-te-pide-explicaciones/ *¿Qué aprenderás en este episodio?: 1) Por qué la mayoría de hombres confunde lo que genera compromiso en una mujer con lo que realmente genera deseo sexual. 2) La razón por la que ser un ""buen marido"" (estable, presente, atento) puede estar apagando la vida sexual de tu pareja sin que te des cuenta. 3) Qué dice la investigación de Esther Perel sobre por qué el deseo sexual necesita distancia, incertidumbre y misterio para mantenerse vivo. 4) Qué es el mate choice copying y por qué la percepción social de tu valor como hombre influye directamente en el deseo que tu mujer siente por ti. 5) En qué consiste la regla de los dos tercios y cómo aplicarla en tu día a día para reconstruir la tensión sexual dentro de una relación larga. En el episodio de hoy analizamos una de las situaciones más silenciadas y más frustrantes de la vida en pareja: por qué tu mujer ha dejado de desearte sexualmente, aunque lo hagas todo bien. Además veremos por qué las excusas habituales sobre el estrés, el cansancio o los cambios hormonales se usan con demasiada frecuencia para tapar el problema real, cuál es la mentalidad de fondo que está matando el deseo en millones de matrimonios, y qué principios concretos puedes empezar a aplicar para volver a ser percibido como un hombre deseable dentro de tu propia relación. PD. Minicurso NO convencional sobre comunicacion en pareja: https://www.hombrealfa.top/como-responder-cuando-tu-mujer-te-pide-explicaciones/

Ask Us A QuestionYou're watching everything they say and do. Reading into every word, every tone. They're showing up, taking accountability, doing the things you asked for, and somehow you feel more panicked, not less. Underneath it all is one quiet question: is this real, or am I about to get hurt all over again?This episode comes from a listener question on one of our trust videos: "When someone has genuinely changed and is taking responsibility now, how do you let them back in enough to even see it? And how do you know when it's actually safe to risk trusting them again?"One promise up front: we're not going to answer "should you trust them." We're going to look at how trust actually works so you can find your own next steps.We open with Esther Perel's line that cultivating trust requires "millions of micro risks," then unpacks why most of us have trust completely backwards. It's not something your partner earns by behaving. It's not something they can give you, no matter how consistently they show up. "I can't trust you anymore" really means "I don't feel safe risking with you anymore," and that changes everything about what to do next.In this episode:Why the more they do the right things, the more panicked you can feel, and what that's actually telling youThe driving metaphor that explains why your partner's mistakes feel malicious but yours feel forgivableHow waiting for them to "pay enough penance" quietly turns into a power and control dynamic that breaks trust furtherBrooke's question about "once a cheater, always a cheater," and what that advice costs you when everyone around you is saying itWhy the real question isn't "can I trust them" but "do I trust myself to see clearly and speak up"What's happening to your relationship while you wait for perfect conditions (hint: it's not staying neutral)Next week we're answering your questions about trust. Send them to us on social media or email love@stacibartley.com.Ready to stop spinning in your head at 2am? The Trust Sprint starts July 27: two weeks of live coaching, guided practice, and real conversations to help you rebuild trust one small risk at a time. Secure your spot here: https://stacibartley.mysamcart.com/rebuild-trustTimestamps: 03:01 Listener Question Setup03:57 What Trust Really Is05:07 Plumbing Metaphor Detour07:13 Disappointment And Double Standards10:55 Trust Is Something You Give12:29 Acknowledgement Before Rebuilding13:52 Penance And Power Struggles17:43 Both Partners Must Risk20:51 Self Trust Vs Outside Noise23:43 Once A Cheater Always A Cheater26:13 Outsourcing Agency And AI27:24 People Can Change For Real28:42 Change Needs Safety29:22 Trauma Is Not Destiny30:39 Everyone Has A Rap Sheet31:07 Rebuild Trust With Micro Risks33:24 Stop Punishment And Rumination36:17 Self Trust Is The Guarantee41:28 Co Create By Starting Small43:50 Begin Anywhere Together45:58 Trust Sprint Invitation

Jason reviews The Invite, directed by Olivia Wilde, who also stars alongside Penélope Cruz, Seth Rogen and Edward Norton. The film follows a couple whose dinner invitation to their neighbours takes a wildly unexpected and life-changing turn.Léa Seydoux and Tony Leung Chiu-wai lead Silent Friend, the latest feature from On Body and Soul director Ildikó Enyedi. Spanning three eras, the film weaves together interconnected stories linked by a single tree.Following its international premiere at the prestigious Rotterdam Film Festival, The World Came Flooding In uses virtual reality  to transform flood-damaged homes into remarkable memory spaces, connecting the stories of people whose lives have been changed forever by water.Presenter, Jason Di RossoProducer, Sarah CorbettSound engineer, Alysse SymonsArts editor, Rhiannon Brown

What happens when an ordinary dinner party becomes a reckoning for a marriage? That question drives “The Invite,” a new film directed by and starring Olivia Wilde. The film follows a couple whose tense evening with their transgressive upstairs neighbors forces them to confront questions about desire, jealousy and whether it's possible to have a new relationship with the same person. We'll talk with Wilde and co-star Edward Norton about their six-week workshopping process, working with relationship expert Esther Perel and the freedom to improvise and shape a story whose ending audiences are already debating. Guests: Edward Norton, actor, "The Invite" Olivia Wilde, actor and director, "The Invite" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Raise It Up, Wy!

Ready to take a deep breath and find some inspiration? A brand-new season of Making Space with Hoda Kotb is officially here. Every Wednesday, Hoda sits down for open, soul stirring conversations with people who have walked through fire and come out stronger. This season, she's diving into what it really means to pivot, heal, and find your purpose. Expect raw, real-life wisdom on navigating big transitions and the unexpected moments of grace that connect us all. Featuring incredible guests like Mariska Hargitay, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Mark Nepo, Esther Perel, Laverne Cox, and many more. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ready to take a deep breath and find some inspiration? A brand-new season of Making Space with Hoda Kotb is officially here. Every Wednesday, Hoda sits down for open, soul stirring conversations with people who have walked through fire and come out stronger. This season, she's diving into what it really means to pivot, heal, and find your purpose. Expect raw, real-life wisdom on navigating big transitions and the unexpected moments of grace that connect us all. Featuring incredible guests like Mariska Hargitay, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Mark Nepo, Esther Perel, Laverne Cox, and many more. To follow now, just search ‘Making Space with Hoda Kotb' wherever you're listening. New episodes drop every Wednesday. swap.fm/l/mswhkfd Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ready to take a deep breath and find some inspiration? A brand-new season of Making Space with Hoda Kotb is officially here. Every Wednesday, Hoda sits down for open, soul stirring conversations with people who have walked through fire and come out stronger. This season, she's diving into what it really means to pivot, heal, and find your purpose. Expect raw, real-life wisdom on navigating big transitions and the unexpected moments of grace that connect us all. Featuring incredible guests like Mariska Hargitay, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Mark Nepo, Esther Perel, Laverne Cox, and many more. To follow now, just search ‘Making Space with Hoda Kotb' wherever you're listening. New episodes drop every Wednesday. swap.fm/l/mswhkfd Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ready to take a deep breath and find some inspiration? A brand-new season of Making Space with Hoda Kotb is officially here. Every Wednesday, Hoda sits down for open, soul stirring conversations with people who have walked through fire and come out stronger. This season, she's diving into what it really means to pivot, heal, and find your purpose. Expect raw, real-life wisdom on navigating big transitions and the unexpected moments of grace that connect us all. Featuring incredible guests like Mariska Hargitay, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Mark Nepo, Esther Perel, Laverne Cox, and many more. To follow now, just search ‘Making Space with Hoda Kotb' wherever you're listening. New episodes drop every Wednesday. swap.fm/l/mswhkfd Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ready to take a deep breath and find some inspiration? A brand-new season of Making Space with Hoda Kotb is officially here. Every Wednesday, Hoda sits down for open, soul stirring conversations with people who have walked through fire and come out stronger. This season, she's diving into what it really means to pivot, heal, and find your purpose. Expect raw, real-life wisdom on navigating big transitions and the unexpected moments of grace that connect us all. Featuring incredible guests like Mariska Hargitay, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Mark Nepo, Esther Perel, Laverne Cox, and many more. To follow now, just search ‘Making Space with Hoda Kotb' wherever you're listening. New episodes drop every Wednesday. swap.fm/l/mswhkfd Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

From Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz-Beckham to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, we've watched family rifts play out publicly. But behind the headlines is a dilemma many people face in their own lives: what happens when the person you love doesn't fit into the family you come from? This week, Kate Langbroek sits down with world-renowned relationship therapist Esther Perel to discuss one of the most emotionally complicated tensions of adulthood — choosing your partner while trying to maintain your relationship with your family. Why do some parents struggle to accept their child's partner? Why can falling in love feel like betrayal? And when family conflict erupts, how do you protect your relationship without losing the people who raised you? Together, Kate and Esther unpack family estrangement, difficult in-laws, loyalty, intimacy, and the relationship patterns we inherit from our parents — and whether it's possible to build a marriage that looks different from the one we grew up with. Support independent women’s media and get our biggest offer of the year. Subscribe here for 30% off your annual Mamamia subscription. Code applied at the checkout. Offer ends June 30. You can now watch our show in full length video on the Apple Podcast app - make sure your phone is up to date and we can't wait for you to see. CLICK HERE. What To Listen To Next: Listen: Georgie Tunny & Rob Mills: The Marriage And Baby Conversation Everyone Keeps Asking About Listen: The Love Of My Life Was My Best Friend. Then She Died At 34 Listen: Jeni Haynes Created 2681 Personalities To Survive Her Abusive Father Listen: Kate Ceberano Has Spent 40 Years Trying To Figure Herself Out Listen: Maisie Peters Has Moved On From Mid Men Listen: EXCLUSIVE: Stephanie Browitt Survived The White Island Volcano. This Is Her Mother’s Story Too. Listen: Sophie Smith Lost Her Premature Triplets And Then Her Husband. This Is How She Kept Going Listen: Patrick Brammall Turned Down The Devil Wears Prada 2. Then He Got A Call Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here. Watch No Filter on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram here. Follow us on TikTok here. Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP. Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review. CREDITS: Guest: Esther Perel Host: Kate Langbroek Executive Producer: Bree Player Audio and Video Producer: Julian Rosario Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast. Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With all the disruption, uncertainty, and rapid change happening in our world today, especially with the rise of AI and new technologies, it can be easy to overlook one of our most fundamental needs: human connection. On this episode, I talk about why connection matters more than ever right now, how it impacts our well-being, relationships, and performance, and what we can do to stay connected to ourselves and each other in a world that often pulls us apart.   Resources: Mike Robbins Website (Newly Updated) Mike Robbins Blog Mike Robbins Podcast Mike Robbins on LinkedIn Mike Robbins YouTube Channel Mike Robbins on Instagram Mike Robbins on Facebook Mike Robbins on TikTok Mike Robbins on X Mike Robbins on BlueSky We're All in This Together (book), by Mike Robbins Oprah podcast interview with Esther Perel  

Sezonul de podcast despre relații creat în colaborare cu Pagina de Psihologie a adus în conversație subiecte pe care mulți dintre noi le poartă în tăcere: cum iubim, cum pierdem, cum ne vindecăm, cum ne regăsim pe noi înșine în mijlocul relației cu celălalt și cum navigăm împreună o lume care ne invită la tot mai multă izolare. Astăzi ne vedem live, în ultima întâlnire de dinainte de vacanța de vară, în cadrul episodului 12 din acest sezon de podcast. Invitatul nostru de astăzi este Gáspár György: psiholog clinician, terapeut relațional și autor, cunoscut pentru contribuțiile în promovarea sănătății relaționale și a inteligenței emoționale în spațiul public din România. Este co-fondator al comunității Paginii de Psihologie și al Academiei de Terapie Imago din România.Alături de Paul Olteanu și Gáspár György adresăm teme precum: relația cu pierderea și cum încheiem ce a rămas neînchis relația părinte-copil când copilul este deja adult parenting și ce se întâmplă cu relația de cuplu după apariția copiilorintimitatea în cuplu și dificultățile în a iniția intimitatea sexuală relațiile de cuplu după 60 de aniResurse menționate:Cartea Dansul Furiei, de Harriet Lerner Cartea Dansul Fricii, de Harriet LernerCartea Thinking in Systems, de Donella MeadowsCărțile lui John GottmanEpisod produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România.Acest episod a apărut inițial live pe YouTube. "(00:00) Intro""(02:54) Încheieri și pierderi: de ce așteptăm un closure care nu vine""(03:51) Câte feluri de pierderi există și cum le integrăm""(06:50) Fiecare zi care se încheie e, de fapt, o pierdere""(08:28) De ce orice alegere bună conține și o pierdere""(13:09) Pierderile cer energie și de ce regretăm mai mult ce n-am făcut""(17:24) Ce se întâmplă cu rolul cuiva în sistem când dispare""(18:42) Pierderea ambiguă: prezent fizic, absent emoțional""(21:08) Terapia individuală și granițele relației de cuplu""(24:14) Sistemul e mai puternic decât individul (Thinking in Systems)""(28:17) Cum schimbi un sistem: întregul peste suma părților""(30:04) Homeostazia: sistemul caută stabilitate, nu sănătate""(31:43) Dansul furiei: manevre, contra-manevre și schimbarea reală""(35:11) Relația la distanță e o pierdere?""(38:32) Dor, dorință și dorul de ceea ce n-am trăit""(43:45) Pierderi ambigue: dispariție și ghosting""(45:24) Parenting: cum reconstruiești conexiunea cu copilul""(48:24) Dozarea reconectării și demnitatea copilului""(53:35) Divorț, regret și împăcarea cu o decizie luată demult""(59:16) Relația cu părinții: de la părinte-copil la adult-adult""(01:06:48) Copilul parentificat și etapele vieții de familie""(01:11:17) Cuibul gol și grija pentru propriii părinți""(01:17:34) De ce contează nu-ul copilului (contravoința)""(01:24:03) Autonomie vs. independență""(01:26:28) Cum îți susții partenerul prin perioada de pierdere a părinților săi""(01:30:45) Degradarea părinților și propria îmbătrânire""(01:42:36) Dating și vitalitate după 60 de ani""(01:47:35) Intimitatea sexuală în relațiile de durată: rușinea de a iniția""(01:50:42) A-ți dori ceea ce ai deja (Esther Perel)""(01:55:56) Ce ține atracția vie: spațiu, joacă, atingere""(02:00:14) Homeostazie și adaptare hedonică în cuplu""(02:06:48) Curajul de a rămâne viu și relațiile începute după 30""(02:12:25) Întrebări de final: un cuvânt despre familie, prietenie și cuplu"

The razor sharp Richard E Grant and the charismatic Claire Foy lift the lid on their new dark-comedy film, Savage House.Relationship guru and the founding mother of conscious uncoupling, Esther Perel celebrates her 20th Anniversary Edition of her book Mating in Captivity.Watch all episodes of TFI Unplugged on the Virgin Radio UK YouTube channel. Just search Virgin Radio UK on all of our socials. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sheila ist Gynäkologin, Bestsellerautorin und Gründerin einer telemedizinischen Online-Praxis. Ihr neues Buch heißt „Light My Fire" und sie beschäftigt sich darin mit allerlei Faktoren rund um unsere Lust. Ich wollte von ihr wissen, warum so viele Paare sexuell unerfüllt sind, obwohl sie einander lieben und wovon unsere Lust beeinflusst wird. Wir sprechen über sexuelle Knoten in Beziehungen, das Prinzip von Gas und Bremse unserer Libido, es geht um Anatomie, Scham als Schutzfunktion, Testosteronmangel – und warum sexuelle Erfüllung aus ihrer Sicht ein unterschätzter Friedensbeitrag für die Welt wäre. WERBEPARTNER & RABATTE: https://linktr.ee/hotelmatze MEIN GAST: https://instagram.com/drsheiladeliz/ DINGE: Alle Bücher von Sheila de Liz: https://rowohlt.de/autor/dr-med-sheila-de-liz-21740 Hormone Online Clinic: https://hormoneonlineclinic.com/de/ Esther Perel: https://estherperel.com/about Alexander Stößlein - Produktion Maximilian Frisch - Produktion Lena Rocholl - Redaktion Mit Vergnügen - Vermarktung und Distribution MEIN ZEUG: Hotel Matze live - https://eventim.de/artist/hotel-matze/ Meine Fragensets: beherzt.net/hotel-matze Das Beste des Tages App: https://dasbestedestages.de/ Mein Newsletter: https://matzehielscher.substack.com/ YouTube: https://bit.ly/4fhY2rV TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@matzehielscher Instagram: https://instagram.com/matzehielscherHotel LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/matzehielscher/ Mein Buch: https://bit.ly/3QXmCVc

The stress, fear, and uncertainty of the world right now are seeping into our closest relationships. When collective pain goes unprocessed, it often shows up as distance, resentment, or disconnection with the people we love most — at a time when we need closeness more than ever. In this conversation, Esther Perel helps us understand how stress and trauma drain our relationships of aliveness and desire, why resentment grows when life becomes all duty and efficiency, and how to stay connected and loving in hard times. - Why your relationship isn't broken — it's exhausted- How resentment grows when efficiency replaces intimacy- Why desire disappears under responsibility - Why your partner can't be your whole village- What “behind every criticism is a longing” really means About Esther: Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today's most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 30 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into nearly 30 languages. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How's Work?  Follow We Can Do Hard Things on: Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

Crafting out a breakup text, planning dates, or just creating an entirely new romantic companion: AI has ushered in a new frontier for modern dating. Gwyneth Paltrow sits down with famed psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel to talk about the ways AI is affecting modern dating and relationships, what trust in a relationship means today, and how the institution of marriage has evolved over the past few decades. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Anything will work again, as long as you unplug it long enough, even you." This simple principle serves as the heartbeat for reclaiming a life dedicated to authentic human depth. In a world optimized for digital efficiency and "frictionless" convenience, the true currency of a meaningful life remains the unscalable power of independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times, Ashleigh Spiliopoulou explores the growing cultural movement of "Friction Maxing" — the intentional reintroduction of effort, inconvenience, and presence into our daily routines. Ashleigh shares insights from her month-long experiment with deliberate inconvenience, including rawdogging a 24-hour flight to Australia and ditching her headphones on daily runs. Together, the conversation dives into the rise of mainstream AI infiltration, the psychological dangers of AI Psychosis and FOBO (Fear Of Becoming Obsolete), and why healthy friction is ultimately the secret weapon for nervous system regulation, creative clarity, and deep human connection.   10 Memorable Quotes: "In a world of frictionless design, what if we friction maxed a couple things to add a little bit of meaning back into life?" "The more efficient and outsourced we get through really well-designed technology, the more it feels like life is kind of evaporating from us." "Why would I think for myself when AI could think for me?" "Frictionless isn't bad in every scenario." "The process was so beautiful, and then the result was so satisfying." "AI has so much potential and brilliance for so many areas of our lives, but it shouldn't be designed to replace our brain." "It's not necessarily teaching people something new. It's reminding them, this is how you used to live." "First we need to unlearn." "It's rebellious. It's so fun." "Anything will work again, as long as you unplug it long enough, even you." 10 Key Takeaways: The Origin of Friction Maxing: Exploring Catherine Jezer-Morton's January 2026 article in The Cut magazine that sparked a mainstream conversation on adding intentional effort to life. The Falsehood of Frictionless Relationships: Reflecting on Esther Perel's cultural work and how eliminating interpersonal friction directly fuels the loneliness epidemic. The Threat of Cognitive Decay: How outsourcing daily thought processes to technology results in a tangible feeling of your brain disintegrating. Understanding AI Psychosis: Confronting the psychological danger of over-trusting automated companions until you completely lose trust in your own mind. Dismantling FOBO: Analyzing the "Fear Of Becoming Obsolete" and how surrendering creativity and discernment to AI attacks our baseline human self-worth. The No-Headphone Run: Why leaving audio stimulation at home forced a deeper focus on surroundings, leading to a fresher, more imaginative brain. The Gesture of Friendship: How exchanging a frictionless voice note for a handwritten letter to Boston reestablished a visceral, emotional sense of connection. Rawdogging a Flight: The profound creative clarity that emerged from enduring a 24-hour flight to Australia completely detached from movies, podcasts, or Wi-Fi. Unlearning for a 180 World: Recognizing that surviving the modern technological landscape requires us to actively unlearn automatic habits to relearn how to think. Architected Attention: Understanding that tech companies deliberately engineer frictionless designs solely to fork over your attention, money, and will. About our Guest: Ashleigh Spiliopoulou is a freelance journalist and health writer specializing in women's health, travel, and culture. A former heptathlete, her words have appeared in prominent publications including Condé Nast Traveller, Marie Claire, Women's Health, Stylist, Dazed, and Glamour. She is also the Co-Founder of Sunnie Runners, an inclusive London-based run club, and SOLA, a supper club designed for women looking to build personal and professional connections. Built on a foundation of storytelling, her work advocates for the vital necessity of using creative friction to protect human meaning and connection.

World famous relationship therapist Esther Perel has been studying relationships for over 40 years. She joins Nicole to share the most common problems couples seek therapy for, the 3 types of conflicts we fight over, and how to productively resolve them. Esther discusses how to get over "icks" while dating, and challenges us to ask ourselves: what "icks" would people find in you? They also explore exactly why modern dating feels so incredibly tough right now, the fact that therapy speak has gone mainstream thanks to shows like The Sopranos, and whether that's a good or bad thing. Plus, Esther shares a wild story about her first therapy session between a man and his AI girlfriend, and she totally flips the script on Nicole to ask the ultimate question: Would you date you?Celebrate the 20th anniversary of her groundbreaking book, Mating in Captivity.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTake our listener survey and shape the future of the podcast!Support this podcast by checking out our sponsor:• Chime: Chime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to Chime.com/DATEME.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerThis is a Headgum podcast. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ze is dé goeroe op relatiegebied en heeft ons veel geleerd. How to Mate in Captivity? En kun je je inleven in degene die in een monogame relatie vreemdgaat? We hebben het deze aflevering natuurlijk over Esther Perel. Lies was geen mooi mens terwijl ze in een mooie setting was: ze kon niet genieten van het optreden omdat er iemand voor haar horizontaal filmde. Aaf was ook geen mooi mens, omdat ze onrecht voor haar neus zag maar er niets over zei. De culturele genezing gaat dieper in op relaties. Zo is er het boek Liefde, als dat het is van Marijke Schermer. We zien Paul McCartney zich terugtrekken uit de wereld in de documentaire Man on the Run en zien partners elkaar bespieden in de film Guernsey. Wil je de hele aflevering luisteren? Krijg nu 2 maanden Podimo voor slechts €1,-

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when the need to feel wanted meets technology designed to never say no?In this episode, we explore the sharp intersection of validation, self-worth, and AI relationships. As artificial intelligence becomes more personal, affirming, and emotionally convincing, we look at why some people become vulnerable to outsourcing connection, comfort, and worth to something that cannot truly know them.This episode is not about fearing technology. It is about recognizing the human need beneath it and choosing real connection before artificial validation becomes easier than growth. Follow the need you keep outsourcing. It may be the doorway back to yourself.Episode References:1. HER (2013) Film 2. My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could I Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel 3. Men Are Sharing Difficult Parts Of Modern Dating, And As A Woman, I Never Thought Of Some Of TheseHere are related episodes that build on today's conversation:#501 | Why Dating in the Modern Age Can Feel Impossible - https://apple.co/4uIBd5f #448 | What REAL Validation Looks Like - https://apple.co/4hECPHQ #486 | The Difference Between Self-Worth and Self-Belief - https://apple.co/4cSbArALearn more about:

Newly minted ‘Sports Illustrated Swimsuit' issue cover star Tiffany Haddish joins to discuss the honor and weighs in on a few hot topics, including Kevin Hart and Katt Williams' squashed feud. Esther Perel stops by to talk about the 20th anniversary rerelease of her bestselling book, ‘Mating in Captivity.' Rick Ross shares details on his third book, ‘Renaissance of a Boss: Notes from a Creative Reawakening.' And, author Shannon Garvey discusses her debut novel and the latest book from Jenna's imprint Thousand Voices, ‘June Baby.' Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode Cath answers two listener questions. The first question is a short question related to attachment and trauma in our younger years. Have a listen to episode 14 which gives a broad overview of trauma and helps provide context for the first question. Cath will be doing a more detailed view on this material (from episode 14) in an upcoming episode.The second question relates to feeling seen and heard in our adult love relationships and how this is impacted by various factors, how our inner children play a role and some suggestions for how this need can be met. Cath shares a deeply personal anecdote to illustrate how and why different partners have different levels of comfort with discussions around emotions and how emotional neglect plays a huge role in this.The book she references is 'Mating in Captivity' by Esther Perel.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode started with something I heard on a podcast during my morning commute home from the gym — and I couldn't let it go. Esther Perel asked a live audience: have you ever looked at something broken in the world and thought someone should fix it — and then realized that someone should be you? That question really made me think. And I think it might do the same for you. In this episode, I take you through six powerful why questions that create an arc from awareness to ownership to commitment. Whether the "broken thing" you see is in your organization, your community, or the broader world — these questions will help you move from observer to owner. Because seeing it is step one. Owning it is where the real leadership begins. You'll walk away with: A framework of six why questions to surface what you care most about fixing Clarity on your resistance — and how to work through it A challenge to name the one next step you'll take You are the magic. Now go own it! Enjoy! Angie Robinson Links + Ways to Connect: Show Notes: Episode 225 Show Notes Discover Your Personality Style Quiz [download] Subscribe to my newsletter! Angie Robinson Coaching Website Schedule a free Discovery Call   Angie Robinson LinkedIn Angie Robinson Coaching Instagram Angie Robinson Coaching Facebook 

This week, we're sharing a compilation of some of our favorite segments from previous episodes on the incredible power and unique challenges of healing in relationships.You'll hear from Thomas and expert guests with backgrounds in couples therapy, trauma healing, and parenting, including: Couples therapist and bestselling author Dr. Terry Real, world-renowned therapist, author, and speaker Esther Perel, and psychologist, author, and conscious parenting expert Dr. Shefali.Tune in for deep wisdom and powerful anecdotes on relational healing, attunement, how our connections to other people impact our healing journey, and what to do when our wounds come into play in our relationships.01:41 - Dr. Terry Real on how our relationships help us transform trauma10:28 - Thomas Hübl on creating attunement and safety with partners18:18 - Esther Perel and Jack Saul on healing trauma through intimacy and vulnerability33:44 - Thomas Hübl on the spirituality of communication44:23 - Dr. Shefali on overcoming old patterns and sharing your deepest feelings✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:

More than a decade ago, the film Her imagined a love story between a human and an artificial intelligence. Today, it no longer feels like fiction. In this special live taping of Where Should We Begin? from the Vox Media Stage at SXSW, Esther Perel is joined by Academy Award–winning filmmaker Spike Jonze to explore what happens when technology captures our affection. Drawing on a recent therapy session ​on the podcast with a man in a romantic relationship with his AI companion, Esther brings the audience into a deeply human story—one that raises new questions about intimacy, attachment, the state of "love," and what it means to feel seen. What happens when the being that understands you best isn't a human being? As AI moves closer into our emotional lives, this conversation invites us to consider not just what technology can do, but what it awakens within us. Producer's Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone's journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Esther Perel is a psychotherapist known for her innovative approach to relationships. In this episode, Adam and Esther discuss the relational baggage we all carry through our lives and into our work, and how our differing personalities and relationship styles can affect collaboration and culture. They break down the differences between relationship- and task-oriented personalities, and consider the fine balance between risk-taking and rule-following that makes for a healthy relationship with ourselves and others.Host & GuestAdam Grant (Instagram: @adamgrant | LinkedIn: @adammgrant | Website: https://adamgrant.net/)Esther Perel (Instagram: @estherperelofficial | Substack: Entre Nous with Esther Perel | Website: https://www.estherperel.com/)For the full text transcript, visit ted.com/podcasts/worklife/worklife-with-adam-grant-transcriptsLearn more about our flagship conference happening this April at attend.ted.com/podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you keep attracting the wrong people or sabotaging good relationships, this masterclass reveals why.Lewis brings together the most powerful insights from Esther Perel, Jillian Turecki, Matthew Hussey, Baya Voce, and Mel Robbins to show you how your unhealed wounds are running your love life.You'll learn why you chase what hurts you, how your nervous system sabotages connection, and what it actually takes to stop repeating the same painful cycles. The path to lasting love starts with understanding yourself first, learning to regulate your emotions, and choosing partners who can help you heal rather than partners who keep you broken.Make Money Easy: Create Financial Freedom and Live a Richer LifeThe Greatness Mindset: Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life TodayThe Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest LivesThe School of Greatness: A Real-World Guide to Living Bigger, Loving Deeper, and Leaving a LegacyIn this episode you will:Identify what role you played in past relationship failures instead of only blaming your exRecognize when your childhood wounds are triggering fights about cardboard boxes or daily frustrationsUnderstand why depending on your partner for happiness creates catastrophic disappointmentDiscover how play and humor keep relationships alive when everything else feels deadTransform conflict into healing by learning to tolerate uncomfortable emotions in your bodyFor more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1891For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you'll love:Esther PerelMatthew HusseyMel Robbins Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.