Podcasts about I Kissed Dating Goodbye

From best seller to unpublishing his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Josh sits down with me for a candid and heart felt conversation about his journey through his early years and writing his book to where he is today! You can find out more about what he's doing on his website www.joshharris.com

Brad and Lesley break down the interview with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, a sex educator and author who helps people move beyond shame and create healthy intimacy. They explore how harmful cultural narratives impact women, why communication matters more than technique, and how to reclaim your sexual choices as your own.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to make your own Pilates sandbag and what size cord works best.The impact of purity culture on women's sexual experiences.Why sex isn't static and how it evolves as you mature.The people-pleasing responses that block real connection.Dr. Celeste's four-part guide to heal any sexual challenges.The importance of prioritizing oneself and going at one's own pace.Episode References/Links:UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/ukP.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagolandCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comWinter Tour Waitlist - https://opc.me/eventsHow to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag - https://www.youtube.com/live/tn4yUcEQnnMSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsMissionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture by Dr. Celeste Holbrook - https://a.co/d/3UimUKxI Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris - https://a.co/d/38uINCkI Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye Documentary - https://streamable.com/1ldz9cEpisode 202: Jake Kelfer - https://beitpod.com/jakekelferIf you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  People who came from the culture that she did, which was like raised in a super, super strict religious home in purity culture, and so when she got married, she, for, like, it wasn't like, you can't just flip a switch, right? So she was like sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad. And then she gets married, and all of a sudden, sex is good. Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:02  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the freeing convo I had with Dr. Celeste Holbrook in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and then listen to it, and then come back and join us here. I'm gonna tell you right now. We talked about sex, baby. So you're gonna wanna listen to it. I also have her book. I'm so excited about it. We talked about a lot of stuff it. We went all places. Yeah, we didn't really talk about positions or things like that. We just, like talked about the things that people don't talk about.Brad Crowell 1:36  Actually, you know what you talked about more than anything else, was communication.Lesley Logan 1:39  Yeah, oh, yeah, we did. Oh, and, you know, what's really interesting, her book is so timely at the time we're recording this in my fucking Instagram feed, some stupid man decided to talk about stinky coochies. Oh, yeah. And your coochie needs to be Christian if you don't want your husband to cheat on you. The fucking bullshit that people lie to women about. Lie, just bold face fucking lie. Brad Crowell 2:05  There's no such thing as a Christian coochie Go fuck yourself. That is insane. Lesley Logan 2:09  It also, also, also, I don't care what you believe, it is never your fucking fault if someone cheats on you, it's never your fault. It's always about them. There's something going on there. It's not your fault. Period.Brad Crowell 2:24  Yeah, I was incensed after watching that video. And there's a special place in hell for that pastor.Lesley Logan 2:30  Yeah, there really is. And then I just listened to an interview about some girls who were, like, raised in a purity culture, and I forgot, I had forgotten a lot of the shit that I was, like, told and now and then I read, I've been reading her book, and it's like, holy fuck. It's a wonder, it's a wonder women anywhere are having actual sex that's not painful. So anyways, go read her book. Go listen to that episode. We're gonna talk about some good stuff in a second. I promise. I promise. I do think that the world does get better at some point. I do. I do. I have to believe in that. Lesley Logan 3:00  Today is September 4th 2025 and it is National Wildlife Day. And on National Wildlife Day, hold on, I pulled up, oh. Brad Crowell 3:11  America marks National Wildlife day every year. Lesley Logan 3:14  No, no, no. Don't take this away from me. Brad Crowell 3:16  On September 4th. Lesley Logan 3:17  It's an opportunity for everyone to step back, take a deep breath and think about all that surrounds us. It is inspiring to consider preservation and conservation efforts that work to improve in the natural world, there remains so much to learn, as Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "In wildness is the preservation of the world." Okay, but we couldn't agree more, so let's take a closer look at this day. Yeah, go spend some time out in a preserve near you. We have a preserve near us. Brad Crowell 3:50  We do, it's really close. Lesley Logan 3:51  We actually have the wetlands. And then if we go up two hours, is a really cool preserve we can go camping at, people go fishing at, there's a fucking lake. Brad Crowell 3:58  There's one lake right here, like, a couple blocks from us. Lesley Logan 4:01  Oh, there is another preserve. Brad Crowell 4:02  Yeah, like, literally in the city, this preserve. Yeah.Lesley Logan 4:04  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So go find a preserve near you. You know, I know people like to get mad about the coyotes or the mountain lions that live there. They were there first, so take that in. And second, like it's, there's just something like, it's kind of cool that the way this wildlife that we live and go to a zoo. I mean, make sure it's a good one. But like, take it in, take in the wildlife. Because one, it's going away and. Brad Crowell 4:04  I think the zoo would be the opposite of wildlife.Lesley Logan 4:30  Okay, maybe. But I bet you, I bet you, some of them donate to wildlife. Maybe. Brad Crowell 4:35  I'm, you know. Lesley Logan 4:36  Go camping. Brad Crowell 4:36  They can be well intentioned. Lesley Logan 4:38  So what do you want them to do? Go camping? Brad Crowell 4:40  Yeah, go camping. Lesley Logan 4:41  This wasn't very clear. So I guess take a moment to consider how you're going to preserve the wildlife near you and conserve efforts, like your conservation efforts. You know, can you stop putting plastic straws near you know, water, like the ocean and things like that. The turtles are choking, you guys, so. Brad Crowell 5:02  Yeah, let's not choke any turtles. Lesley Logan 5:04  No, it's so sad, it' so sad. I can't watch those things. So anyway.Brad Crowell 5:07  Our neighbor has a tortoise. Lesley Logan 5:08  Yeah, Tortimer. Brad Crowell 5:09  Tortimer the tortoise, the tortoise, Tortimer the tortoise, and he's like, 15 or something.Lesley Logan 5:15  But he's not even a desert tortoise. He's an African, something tortoise but. Brad Crowell 5:19  Yeah, I can remember the name. Lesley Logan 5:20  Speaking of preservation out here in Vegas, So the desert tortoise is about to go extinct. There's actually we're having some huge problems with them, and have enough space for them, because they actually need flat desert land to crawl on. And then, of course, flat desert land is what everone wants to develop because. Lesley Logan 5:42  Was it extinct, or we're just destroying their habitat here? Lesley Logan 5:42  We're destroying their habitat here. Brad Crowell 5:43  Yeah, I'm not sure if this is their only environment. But, but, yeah, like the the Las Vegas Valley, you know, is expanding. They're expecting something like 400,000 people to move here in the next decade. And so they're, they're slapping together.Lesley Logan 5:53  The lack of rain is not deterring anyone so. Brad Crowell 5:55  Well, they're slapping together all these expansions all around the city in, you know. And basically, they're driving out the they're changing the desert landscape, which is driving away the turtles.Lesley Logan 6:03  And the desert tortoise can't live near the mountains because they don't climb rocks. They just walk on the flat desert. Also, also, I learned this fun fact, you like, they have, they have territories, right? Like, you can't have two male tortoises near each other, and they need to have a burrow during the hot part of the day, and if they don't know the area, you just can't pick up a tortoise and, like, move it to another part of the desert. They got to know where to burrow. So anyways, these are important things to know, and so if you live in an area that's got some wildlife, maybe take it upon yourself to find out what's going on, and your local city council meetings, and who's trying to develop those areas, and yell and scream because it's really cathartic, and you can save a wildlife animal near you. We are we've been recently yelling and screaming to keep Las Vegas loud, so downtown loud. So, you know, it's fun. It's fun to be part of things in the community, to, like, take care of other people. Okay, enough about this day. Lesley Logan 6:04  Coming up. Oh, like now we're actually. Brad Crowell 6:33  Yeah, we're literally en route. Lesley Logan 6:51  So we're in the U.K., by the way. Brad Crowell 6:57  We just we just landed. Lesley Logan 7:03  No, we've been here a day. We're in Scotland today. Yep, we are actually at the very top of Scotland. We're as far up as we can go. And because, that's because we're gonna take a little vacation, we're gonna see some interesting Scottish games, and then we're gonna drive all the way down to Essex, where we're teaching for two days The Movement Base. And there might be a couple spots left in the workshops, and then we're going up to Leeds to teach there on the weekend in September. So this is all happening in September, September 8th, 9th and 10th, and then 13th and 14th. Anyways, it's a Tuesday and Wednesday. Brad Crowell 7:33  I don't actually remember the specific dates, but a. Lesley Logan 7:36  And a Saturday and a Sunday and. Brad Crowell 7:38  Go to opc.me/uk for the specifics. Lesley Logan 7:41  Yeah, and don't miss out, because we're not coming back. Okay.Brad Crowell 7:46  Not anytime soon. Last time was two years ago, so yeah, you know, but yeah, we're never gonna be back. Lesley Logan 7:50  No, we'll come back. Then we're gonna go home for two days, and then we're going to go to Pilates on Tour in Chicagoland. Brad Crowell 7:56  Two days? Lesley Logan 7:57  Two weeks. Brad Crowell 7:58  Two weeks. Lesley Logan 7:59  Two weeks. Brad Crowell 7:59  Yeah, I was gonna say. Lesley Logan 7:59  Two weeks. Brad Crowell 7:59  Two weeks, we're home for two weeks. Lesley Logan 8:02  We're home for two weeks, and then we go to Chicagoland, no, just three weeks. Chicagoland. And the time that we're recording this, we heard it was 75% sold out. It's probably changed, but I think there's, I think the early bird ends next week, if there's any room, and then we'll be in Cambodia. And the time you're hearing this, you've got a month, you can still sign up, you can still buy a plane ticket, like there's still time,Brad Crowell 8:24  There's definitely still time. I'm still having conversations with people, and there's there's room, so.Lesley Logan 8:28  crowsnestretreats.comBrad Crowell 8:30  PS, if you have ever wanted to walk around with elephants, we go to an elephant sanctuary at the after the retreat is over, it's an extra curricular activity after that we love to do, and so we always stay an extra day. And we also go to a waterfall, which is super magical. And maybe that's the thing that you're just like, really that excited, you know, that's what you want to do. So I just want to throw those out there that you can join us for those, in addition to the retreat. Go to crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com, and come join us.Lesley Logan 9:05  Yeah, and we're as we're, by the time we're recording this, we're also trying to lock in a day of teaching in Singapore. So my Singaporeans, hello, we are coming your way. And then we're gonna go see the botanical garden. So if you wanna walk around the gardens with us, you can. Then, December is our winter tour, and we're getting a ton of people asking us if we're going to Texas, and things like New York, and things like that. Yes, it's in the winter tour. So go to opc.me/events to get on the waitlist for that because if you're on the waitlist, you hear right away. And let me tell you, when we announce our tours, some cities literally sell out, especially on the winter tour. So because we've been doing the winter tour the longest, and people are really excited about it. So, opc.me/events. Okay.Brad Crowell 9:43  You're not wrong. Lesley Logan 9:44  Before we get into. I know, I know. We went to bed after announcing it. Woke up, two cities were sold out.Brad Crowell 9:50  Two cities were sold out in less than 24 hours last year, yeah. Lesley Logan 9:53  Okay, all right, Brad, we have an audience question to answer. Brad Crowell 9:56  Yes, we do. Lesley Logan 9:57  And actually, this is really for you. Brad Crowell 9:59  Oh would you like to read the question? Lesley Logan 10:06  Yes. Brad Crowell 10:06  Okay. Lesley Logan 10:02  @gp_pilates_studio, that's Greenpoint Pilate studio, hi, Allyn, on YouTube asks about How to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag video. Hey, Brad, what is the diameter, the diameter of the rope and cord, the paracord that we use? What's the diameter of it? Brad Crowell 10:16  Okay. So this was on a video that we made, Lesley and I made called How to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag, right? And if you're familiar with the sandbag, it's the bar, and then there's the cord, and then there's the weights, and you can twist it back and forth. And so we actually made one our own, and we showed you how to make your own. So if you're interested in that, it's on YouTube. Great question here, Allyn, gp_pilates_studio on YouTube. So, it doesn't matter really what the diameter is. You don't want, like, you know, an inch thick piece of rope that would be just annoying and bulky. But what I used was just like your typical, like, cheapo bought it at the hardware store, nylon cord, you know, I think it was like 10 bucks for 100 meters of it, or something like that, you know, and they wrap it around that little h looking thing, and you just spin it around it, and it's like, you know, I don't know, like, there was no real diameter. It's just the smallest thing.Lesley Logan 11:13  Okay, I found it. I found it. Three-eights of an inch.Brad Crowell 11:16  Yeah, but, but honestly, if you get a quarter of an inch, it's fine, you know, I wouldn't. I probably, like, at a half an inch or an inch thick rope, it would just be annoying because you're twisting it around this, you know, it would, it would become like a spool, and that's just silly. So smaller is fine. The reality is, it just needs to support, you know, a pound or two pounds of weight, you know, so we're not, we're not trying to lift a house here. We're just.Lesley Logan 11:39  I'm pretty sure it's a three-eights of an inch one that looks like what we got. And also it, because I remember, it fits like, right through, if you just drill a hole we didn't get anything fancy.Brad Crowell 11:40  Yeah and I just, yeah, I just took a, you know, a quarter inch drill bit right through the middle, and then I just threaded that through. So as long as you can get the rope through, it's fine. That's really, you know, that all that matters.Lesley Logan 12:00  Yeah, I love it. So you can all make your own sandbag. We did it for the Accessories Deck, which is now shipping worldwide.Brad Crowell 12:07  Yeah. We actually did. We showed you how to build three different pieces of equipment. One was the push up handles. One was the the two by four, and then finally, was this one, this Pilates sandbag. So, yeah, great question. Thanks for that. If you have a question, you can text us at 310-905-5534, or you can submit your question or your win to beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions and we kind of need you to submit y'all so we have some wins to talk about on our Friday pod so let's go. Let's go right now. Pull out your phone, go to beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions. All right, that's enough of that.Lesley Logan 12:50  You know how easy a win is. This is my new win. So, I have been trying to figure I love my I love my red light mask and neck. And when I got them, I was using them really regularly, and we got really busy and and I've everything else, all my other habits were really good, but that one is has just been hard to fit back in. And I saw the dermatologist, and he's like, yeah, my wife uses hers every night. And I said, oh, when? He was like, before bed, and you know, so she washes her face and she use them. I'm like, oh, I can do that. And so I have done it four nights in a row, right before bed. I just put them on my face and I lay there. And you know, what's crazy is, like, I actually am getting some really good, deep sleep, like I'm sleeping really well. And I think it's that there's a time before I fall asleep that I'm just laying there waiting to go to sleep. So that's a win. Brad Crowell 13:35  Like, it's on for like, 10 minutes. Lesley Logan 13:35  Yeah, it goes off on its own. So even if I fell asleep with them, like, I wouldn't want to do that, but I could fall asleep with them laying on my face, and like, you know, yeah. See how easy that was. I just came up with a win on the spot. Lesley Logan 13:41  That's a win on the spot. Lesley Logan 13:43  You can do it too. Brad Crowell 13:46  Yeah, yeah, I love it. Well, stick around. We'll be right back, because we're going to dig into this juicy conversation that we have with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, and also celebratory. It was really awesome. So we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 14:01  Okay, now let's talk about Dr. Celeste Holbrook. PhD, right? Yeah, she's no joke. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sex educator with a PhD in health behaviors and a post grad emphasis in sexual behaviors. She helps women and couples overcome challenges, heal from shame, and create better, more fulfilling sex lives. Her new book, Missionary Position: A Slightly Orreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture, tackles the complex interaction of sex, religion and personal freedom. Celeste is known for her practical, down to earth approach that makes conversations about sex accessible and empowering and honestly, not awkward. But she's just really good at making it just, it's just a conversation. It doesn't have to be the silly thing. Some, for some reason it's like, it feels like we revert to sixth grade whenever this this conversation comes out, and it's like everyone like, hee-hee-hees in the corner. It's so weird, and it's and you might not be doing it out loud, but you're kind of cringing a little on the inside. She just takes that whole thing away and, like, you know, I mean, it was, it was, she's very matter of fact, matter of factly talking about having dildos in her social media posts, you know, like, oh, okay, yeah, there's that. But, but yeah. I mean, she's, she's not being like, risque or weird about her the conversation. She's specifically serving people who came from the culture that she did, which was, like, raised in a super, super strict religious home in purity culture. And so when she, when she got married, she for, like, it wasn't like, you can't just flip a switch, right? So she was like, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad. And then she gets married, and all of a sudden, sex is good. Like, that's not how it works in the body. And she had to tackle that. Lesley Logan 15:43  Yeah, definitely listen to her first interview on the show, because it actually goes into that if and, and I think it's really interesting. I think, like, even if you weren't raised in a super like, if you, if I, if I say purity culture, and you don't think automatically. Brad Crowell 15:55  That doesn't mean anything to you, right. Lesley Logan 15:55  And you never had a ring on your finger that was turned one different way, and you were, like, betrothed to your father until, until someone's picked for you. Laugh. Had that ring, guys. Brad Crowell 16:07  Not laugh. It's like a, it's like a sardonic shudder. Lesley Logan 16:11  Oh, I know. Because, like, we thought that was normal. Brad Crowell 16:13  Totally thought it was normal. Lesley Logan 16:15  Did you read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye? Brad Crowell 16:16  Yeah. Oh yeah. Josh, Josh something, right? Lesley Logan 16:17  Yeah. I think he's come out and said everything I taught was wrong. I'm almost positive one of the guys.Lesley Logan 16:19  He got a follow up book and then I think he got, like, ostracized from the churches. Lesley Logan 16:26  Yeah, one, one of the, one of the purity culture dudes, and I think it's kiss dating guy, goodbye guy has come out and said his book was extremely harmful, and he doesn't believe that anymore. Brad Crowell 16:36  Joshua Harris. Lesley Logan 16:37  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so thank you, Josh for doing that. But like, for the women who are listening, if you have friends in your life, if you weren't raised like this, who literally were told that like that is the worst thing they could do is to as to at all make a man lust. If you did anything that can make a man lust, you were causing him to go to hell. So you are, like, doing everything you can to, like, not be, not be attractive, and not be feminine, and then you get married, and you're supposed to just be sexy and have sex and, like, make babies. And, you know, Dr. Celeste and many women, they actually go through this painful experience with sex. And maybe you don't have that, but also you don't actually know, and she talks a lot about communication. How do you want to feel like you were never taught that sex could be something that you could enjoy? A lot of women are taught, not taught that you can enjoy sex. Brad Crowell 17:23  I just went down the rabbit hole. He, 20 years after writing the book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris left the church he was pastoring, divorced his wife and made a document, a documentary about the repercussions of the book. Oh, I want to watch the documentary. It's called, I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Lesley Logan 17:47  Okay, well, we're watching that. That's tonight's show. The it's an eye and it's really interesting, because, like, I had a very interesting childhood where I there was definitely purity culture at the church, at the church camps I went to. My parents tried to do these things, and then also my parents would kick us out of the house so they could have sex. So, like, sex was a conversation that they had. My grandparents would talk about how they had sex a lot. So, like, I It's not like I I lived I knew that married couples had sex, right, so, but it's just the reason that I bring this up is I actually think a lot of women, whoa, you good? Brad Crowell 18:10  Sorry, I found it. Somebody pulled it off of YouTube. He doesn't have the rights to it, and so it was on YouTube for years. I'm still down the rabbit hole, y'all. This is (inaudible) online. I went to his own website, and I found a post, a blog post, from May, so two months ago, saying, I don't know why they pulled it off of YouTube. It used to be here. Here's a link to it. That was on a pirated website. I don't know how long it's going to be available, but you can still watch it. So, very interesting.Lesley Logan 18:54  Love him. Okay, we do need to get back to Dr. Celeste. Brad Crowell 18:54  Sorry, I'm focused. I'm in. Okay. Lesley Logan 18:57  So I, I just, I'm really obsessed with what Dr. Celeste is doing, because I just know too many women who, whether or not you had a ring and you're were married to, like, dating your dad, until you were dating someone else, you were not offered the opportunity to understand that you could feel good during sex. Like, that's just very few people. Some, some people had brilliant mothers who were like hippies and like, told about that that is not, that is not most of my friends' experience. So, so one of the things, so, get her book, okay, you'll get her book. So she said American society tends to view sex in binary extremes, but it's rather a more nuanced middle ground. And we've seen this. You can see this in social media today. Like, people don't think that sex and gender are two different things. They are. Like, so, like what you're what you're attracted to, and like the gender. All these there's there's differences, and it's not so black and white, and everyone wants to make it like this is how it is, where sex is often placed on either end of the spectrum, either don't think about it or don't talk about it until a certain age or a marriage. And then that makes it really difficult. Because you know, most of the things, like, when you're a little kid, everyone asks, like, what do you want to be when you grow up? So you have your whole life to change your mind. You're like, I'm gonna be a judge. I'll be this. And you get to, like, explore and take classes and to do that. And when you're in this country, most people, like, don't do sex, don't have sex, don't get pregnant. And girls are also taught it's your fault if you get pregnant and there's something wrong, like you did something wrong. Yeah, if you get pregnant.Brad Crowell 20:22  Well, your shoulder straps were too skinny, that's why you're pregnant. Lesley Logan 20:26  Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you're married. So now you should know, you should know how to do sex. You should know what, what to do, but no one let you talk about it. No one like, it's just a whole mess. It's a mess. It's a mess. So anyways, I really like, that's why she wrote her book. But she also explained, we are not binary people, as far as what we want to do in our sex life. And she said, like, she advocates living in the glittery middle, like, just like, you know, like, it doesn't have to, like, just because you liked it one way, at some point is like, another way. Brad Crowell 20:54  So, just so that, like, we like, when we say binary, I think what she's what she's saying there is, it's okay for sex to change over time. Because the conversation you were having is like, you know, sex is, is different at different stages of life, right? When you're, you know, in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 70s, like, it changes, right? And so that's I, you know, I think that makes, that makes sense.Lesley Logan 21:21  And she so, she advocates for that glittery middle and, like, also, you know, exploring and, and it's, I think what's interesting is, like, she is so open to, like, helping you figure out what you want. And I have some amazing, interesting friends in this world. I have one friend who, like, has a partner who's a sexual, has a partner that she dates, but they date someone else, and then she prefers to have one other one. And I'm like, like, the 12 year old me is like, oh my god, what the fuck are you doing? Like, that's so weird. And then, like, the person who's like, gone through some work, done a lot of reading, I'm like, that is very fascinating. I don't like looking at my calendar that much, and that sounds like way too many. Brad Crowell 22:03  It's a lot of scheduling. Lesley Logan 22:04  A lot of scheduling. It's also a lot of testing, it's a lot of things. But she looked at me and she's, like, 10 years? Like, are you bored? So like, you know, it's really funny how we all have a different thing and she and Dr. Celeste is just like, advocating for, like, live in your glittery middle, understand that you're what you're gonna want out of your sex life is gonna change, and that's okay, and that's there's nothing wrong with you as it changes. Like, just explore that. And so she basically said you could decide what is best for you, and that right there is like the opposite of what purity culture and dickhead people in this country want you to think. They don't want you to think it's what's best for you. They want you to think it's what's best for the dick headed man they think you should be married to. Anyways.Lesley Logan 22:05  Tell me more about how you feel. Lesley Logan 22:12  Fucking Christian coochie. That's never gonna leave my mind. Lesley Logan 22:36  Yeah. Like, what a woman hater. Gross.Lesley Logan 22:58  That's the interesting thing. Like, I think a lot of, I think a lot of people in that world just don't like women. But it's, anyways.Brad Crowell 23:05  Yeah. Well, I mean, I was gonna say as a comment to that, you know, how do you get to the point, like, the reason I made the comment at the beginning was that it was mostly about communication. Is because, if you have been with someone for a long time, what does it look like to have that conversation of, like, things are changing and shifting in your sex life, you know? How is that? What does that mean? And, like, you know, I'm not talking about like, like, promiscuity. It could be that, you know, but, but, but maybe it's just simple things like, hey, you know what? Like, I want to make it I want to change it up, you know. Like, let's change it up today, you know, whatever, and but the communication is where I think it gets awkward, and hopefully, you know, with your partner, you have the the type of relationship where you can just simply have a conversation about it. Lesley Logan 23:55  Also, I really, am I gonna take away your takeaway talking points? I really loved how she talked about the funny, like the faking the orgasm, is that in your section?Brad Crowell 24:05  My section, no, I was talking about how things changed over time. In fact, I even jumped ahead to it without realizing it myself. Fawning is really interesting, if you're not familiar with the definition. What is fawning?Lesley Logan 24:16  So essentially, like, there's flight, fright, fight, right? And I used to, when I studied biology, it was like, and fuck, like, some people, well, that's like, it's all part of the same part of your brain system. So that's kind of funny, but fawn is like, this, like, people-pleasing, or you've seen it in movies where the guy gets really mad and he hits her, and then she's like, oh, it's okay. Actually, that was my fault. I tripped into you. Like, they do this whole, you know, like, you're okay, everything's like, and acting like, really small and toss out like a little lamb, and then that makes a person, usually a man, like, calm down. Everything's fine. She talked about faking orgasms as a fawning response, as a people-pleasing response, and we talked, oh my, you guys have to listen to this, because she talked about, like, she believes in being honest, but also being kind. And we taught and like. Brad Crowell 25:03  She said there was a difference between honesty and full transparency. She said she doesn't believe in full transparency, but she does believe in honesty, and she said people can use full transparency as honesty and be cutting and hurtful, right? Lesley Logan 25:20  Because, like, because she also has, and this is an interesting thing. If you have been faking orgasms in your entire marriage, it's you can't always just blame your partner, because you never told them what it would take to please you, and so they're just doing what you have responded to in the past, you know? So it's a and I thought was really fascinating. So it's like, yes, be honest, like, hey, I would like to try something different that's no longer working for me. And so then it's not something that you're rejecting the other person or making them feel like shit, and you're also able to then start articulating what you want. And it does take practice. You're right. It's all about communication. It's such you guys have to go listen. If you have, you gotta listen, go, listen. Brad Crowell 26:00  Yeah. And just to wrap that up there, you know, as things change over time, she said, hey, we mature as humans. Why wouldn't our sex life mature too? And it's important to allow our sex life to mature as we mature. It's the most helpful thing that we can do for ourselves. So, you know, I just thought it was really a topic that nobody ever talks about that's really helpful. So, yeah, there's a lot of room to allow ourselves compassion to grow as we grow, right? And then, you know, and that's like.Lesley Logan 26:30  Oh, you guys, I mean, when you get older, when you get older, like, your bones get brittle. So, like, there's going to be some positions that neither person, no matter what your gender is and who you want to have sex with, can do, like, you're gonna have to start doing sideways sex, because, like, you could fucking break your pelvis or a hip. So, like, just start getting.Brad Crowell 26:49  You could break it while fucking is what you meant to say. Lesley Logan 26:52  Yeah, that too. But anyway, so just like, if, if this is a conversation that you are, like, already going, I don't know if I can have this. Read her book, follow her, because the more I do, the more I might able to go, oh, what an interesting thing that I haven't been able to articulate that was really helpful. Thanks so much, you know. So anyways.Brad Crowell 27:13  Yeah, well stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those Be It Action Items that we have with Dr. Celeste Holbrook. Brad Crowell 27:20  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Celeste Holbrook? She said, hey, I've got a four-part guide, and you should use it. And she maps it out in detail in her book, but high level, it's the analyst, the assassin, the healer and the explorer. And I thought, this is kind of cool. And she said, she said, it's like the archetypal woman. So the analyst helps you understand, what are we actually carrying around? Is the are these mental bags full of shame, full of neglect, full of fear, right? And then the assassin is taking what the analyst has found. So this is like a progression, right? So it's not just like you're only stuck in one it seems like this is a progression. So the assassin then is taking what the analyst has found and is just slicing through it, like deconstructing, you know, the, in her case, she's specifically talking about purity culture, and, like, all the baggage that we're saddled with from that kind of a thing. And then after the assassin is the healer who facilitates, like, she helping regenerate ideas about sex through, like, education.Lesley Logan 28:34  Yeah, right. Re-education.Brad Crowell 28:36  Yeah, gentle re-education about what is sex and what's okay. And, you know, like, why do we have this guilt around sex and, like, what, like, why does that even like, there's just a lot of history that blows my mind. Finally, we have the explorer, like, you know where you've kind of, after you've gone through some healing, you're now, like, feeling more confident, more willingness to, you know, be like, explore having sex, right? And you know that could be with your partner, with yourself, or whatever, you know. So, yeah, it's an interesting, like, progression out of.Lesley Logan 29:11  I think it's a cool idea of a process, because it it if you think, oh, my god, I have to figure all this out, or you might hear about the explorer part and be like, what the I you can't even wrap your head around that. It's because you got to go through the process. Brad Crowell 29:23  Yeah, and I think it's great, because it really sets her up. Like, you know, she's she, she jokingly said a lot of my conversations are pretty boring, like, what? Because she's got clients, one-on-one, clients and, and it's not, they're not like, crazy, like, it's, it's not, it's not, like, telling, not story time. She's actually, you know, helping people go through the process that she created here. So it depends on what's, you know, part of the flow that you're in, you know, might just simply be analysis for a while, you know, and coming to terms with it. And then it won't be until you've come to terms with that you can move on to the next phase. And but what's great is that she has a process. And I think that's really cool. Lesley Logan 30:01  Yeah, she also has a couple other things for you, which is something you can repeat. She said to, free to repeat, I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace. I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace. I think that is so important, no matter what the topic is, no matter what you're trying to be it till you see, like, if you got nothing out of this episode but that affirmation, great. And she also, we've talked about her being like a slow reader and like her writing and all that stuff. And she, she really learned to prioritize herself and appreciate being considerate and slow and thoughtful. Like, that's actually her prioritizing herself by her, not quite I'm a slow reader, but instead going, I am a slow reader, so I am going to be considerate and slow and thoughtful. That's how I do things. Brad Crowell 30:47  Yeah and give myself the time and space to do that. Lesley Logan 30:49  I thought that was so cool. Like, what a, what an amazing way to prioritize yourself is to, like, do the things the way you you need to do them. Brad Crowell 31:00  Yeah and that's like, you know, across any element of life, it's not just, you know, around sex, so I think that's great.Lesley Logan 31:06  And then finally, she said, and this is for your sexual life, she said, where the goal for sexual choice is to be your decision, and not one manipulated by society or cultural values or religious values, and I think that is so important, because even if you aren't someone who is religious, but maybe your culture had a different kind of pressure, or a different way of seeing your body, or maybe you feel a different way with society. Your sexual life is your and choices are your decision, and not wanting to be manipulated by anybody else. So I think that's so important. I just fucking love her. I wish she lived closer. I want to have coffee with her all the time. Brad Crowell 31:43  Yeah, she was a lot of fun to listen to. And also her story about how her book came to be, what a roller coaster. That was, how cool that, you know, that you were a part of it. I think that's pretty neat. Lesley Logan 31:53  Honestly, honestly, like, this is like, you know, like, everything happens for a reason, like how we interviewed him two years ago. Jake. And I forget how Jake got to me. I actually. Brad Crowell 32:05  I think he was connected through. Lesley Logan 32:07  Somebody told no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's a Christian. Lori Harder friend, person, so somebody sent Jake to me. And then. Brad Crowell 32:16  Jake Kelfer. Lesley Logan 32:17  Yeah, and then, and then I watch Celeste stuff, but sometimes she ends up not in my feed because of algorithms. And that day, I just happened to not only watch, but like, actually turn, like, read the whole thing. And I was like, what's going on? I tap through. I watched every story, and I was and I was just like, call me, I got, so but, like, it's just like.Brad Crowell 32:36  Jake. Jake was interviewed on episode 202. Lesley Logan 32:38  But this is how you, you can't this is something for me too, we can't worry, oh my god, what if I missed out on this? Because, like I had I was meant to watch her stories on that day, like I was meant to, because it could have been so easy for me to not pick up my phone that day and not watch them. There was a reason why I opened my phone up and I watched her stories. I do not watch that many people's stories, and it was because I was supposed to see them and introduce her to Jake. That was my whole goal. That was, like, the universe working for her. Universe was like, okay, Celeste, we're going to make sure Lesley sees it, because Lesley knows Jake, and you need to know Jake. Boom, it's done. And, like, she had to write the book. I love it. I love it. I love you, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, I love the book. You guys, go get it. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 33:22  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 33:23  Thank you so much for being you. Now. Go share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and go get her book. And go leave us a review, because we really appreciate that. And go be it till you see it.Brad Crowell 33:34  Yeah. And just one last time. Her book is called Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture. Lesley Logan 33:41  I love it so much. I love it so much. Brad Crowell 33:44  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 33:46  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 34:28  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 34:33  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 34:38  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 34:44  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 34:48  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week, Alex sits down with Joshua Harris to trace his journey from writing I Kissed Dating Goodbye and shaping a generation's view on relationships to rethinking, retracting, and rebuilding his life and faith. Harris reflects on purity culture, faith, identity, and his legacy after walking away from ministry.DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the cast members and guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official position of Christ Community Church.

Episode 186. This week, Beth and Jayme are taking a walk down the awkward memory lane that was 90s–2000s purity culture. From public school abstinence-only assemblies to church youth group pledges and I Kissed Dating Goodbye, they unpack how the messages about sex, marriage, and “modesty” shaped a them—and the therapy bills that came later!Mentions:I Kissed Dating Goodbye__________Join the Geriatric Millennials Community! Instagram: @thegeriatricmillennialsFacebook: facebook.com/TheGeriatricMillennialsTheme music by The Finley Ghost__________Connect with Beth:Instagram: @eransofarInstagram: @paperwhale_paper whale: www.paperwhale.comConnect with Jayme:Instagram: @justenjoyjaymeFacebook: facebook.com/jayme.jones.75__________Beth and Jayme are long time friends and geriatric millennials. Relish in their unique perspectives as you workout, commute, fold laundry, or just need a break from the reality of this timeline! Listen in as they tell stories, discuss every topic under the sun, and just enjoy being in conversation with a friend. Designed to be the soundtrack for the mundane.

This week we will be talking to a notorious former pastor about their experience growing up inside high control religion, becoming a poster child for purity culture, being set up to take over for a large church and ultimately giving it all up, deconstructing his faith and leaving the church. If you grew up in evangelicalism, and likely even if you didn't, you're sure to be familiar with Joshua Harris, author of the wildly popular Christian dating, ahem, courting, book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. He's here to share with us about his time inside of high control religion, what opened his eyes to the unhealthy dynamics inside the church and his process of healing after leaving. It's an episode that all of our younger selves never saw coming and definitely one you won't want to miss! This podcast is brought to you by the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery: an online trauma coaching company whose practitioners are trauma informed and trauma trained to work with individuals, couples and families who have experienced high control religion, cults, and religious trauma. For more information on the support that CTRR provides, for resources–including courses, workshops, and more–head to traumaresolutionandrecovery.com or follow us on Instagram: @traumaresolutionandrecovery The views and opinions expressed by Sunday School Dropouts are those of the hosts and not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery. Any of the content provided by our guests, sponsors, authors, or bloggers are their own ideas and opinions.The Sunday School Dropouts podcast is not anti-religion but it is anti -harm, -power and control, -oppression and, -abuse and will speak to the harmful practices and messaging of fundamentalist groups. Follow Andrew on Instagram and TikTok @deconstruct_everything Follow Laura on Instagram and TikTok @drlauraeanderson or on her website: www.drlauraeanderson.com Hosts: Laura Anderson and Andrew KerbsMusic by Benjamin Faye Music @heytherebenji Editing and Production by Kevin Crowe and can be found at  www.kevincrowe.co

UPDATE: Uploaded the sizzle file by accident. Should be the correct file now. In start contrast to last episode's rundown of I Kissed Dating Goodbye's no-touch, no fun, no-humanity mindset, we look at more recent trends in remaining "pure" while still managing to get some. And it's bizarre. The Horny Chapel is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dauntless Media Collective.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Send us a message at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hornychapel@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/hornychapel/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The Growth Initiative: Winter session dates are January 9th - February 13thLIVE calls will be Thursdays at 7am or 3pm PST. https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/thegrowthinitiativeRegister here for the Free Growth Initiative Masterclass: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/growth-initiative-webinarGet it All Done Club: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/get-it-all-done-clubIs your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful?Check out Katie's Free Home Management Masterclass: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/peacefully-productive-home-masterclass Grow as a couple and get the couple's package! You can get over $200 off if you sign up for the Growth Initiative and Get It All Done Club together.https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/offers/S3GJdvSm/checkoutEnrollment for the Growth Initiative & couple's package ends on Thursday, January 2, 2025. -Now That We're A Family Print Magazine (2025 Annual Subscription) Receive Powerful Biblical Family Encouragement Your one-time purchase will supply you with four print issues delivered on a quarterly basis (March, June, September, December) https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/offers/FmDoCebx/checkout-Send us your questions for future podcasts! You can submit them here: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/podcastquestionsubmission-Books that have shaped or influenced our young adult years: Katie: - “Beautiful Girlhood” by Karen Andreola - https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/beautiful-girlhood-by-mabel-hale/251857/item/8580092/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=high_vol_midlist_standard_shopping_customer_acquisition&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=666157863328&gad_source=1#idiq=8580092&edition=2006479 - “An Old Fashioned Girl” by Louisa May Alcott - https://amzn.to/3BT4uo2 - “The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success” by Darren Hardy - https://amzn.to/40fuIue Elisha: - “Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectation” by Alex Harris & Brett Harris - https://amzn.to/4a033kh - “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris - https://amzn.to/4j1nUYw - “Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time” by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker - https://amzn.to/41WenvK - “Sin No More” by Michael Pearl - https://nogreaterjoy.org/shop/sin-no-more-booklet/?srsltid=AfmBOoozH_1ZhXaBVrclkzgtHcEQKVjHrNrlQduEceOsMmIi8K9n8yk_ - “Don't Waste Your Life” by John Piper - https://amzn.to/3Ph8GkP - “The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer - https://amzn.to/4fAFkZe - “Desiring God” by John Piper - https://amzn.to/4fFqssr

Book Besties Season 7 Episode 13: IcebreakerIn this episode, the Besties are back together to start a month of holiday romances, starting with Icebreaker by Hanna Grace. Join us as we debate substance vs. spice, question the length of this book, and decide they're too old for this book. Listen April goes into an English nerd rant and Molly makes all words plural. Things talked about in this episode:Josh Harris about I Kissed Dating Goodbye: https://joshharris.com/a-statement-on/LeBron James: https://bit.ly/493ON9P A Merry Little Meet Cute: https://bit.ly/3BaZsmq Meet Molly and April, they bonded over books and became Book Besties. So, what do you do when you find your book bestie? Start a podcast of course. Hang out with April and Molly as they talk about everything they love and hate about books.

Send us a textEp. 190 - The two of us grew up at the height of the purity culture movement. We read the classic "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and every other Christian book on courtship. We dated intentionally, wore our purity rings religiously and saved our kisses for marriage. Do we regret wearing our purity rings? What was the impact of purity culture in our lives? How are we going to raise our kids? Let's jump in. NEW BOOK: "Made to Be She: Reclaiming God's Plan for Fearless Femininity" Support the showJOIN US ON PATREON FOLLOW US:GirlDefined.comInstagram YouTube

How has the prosperity gospel influenced purity culture, and what does that mean for parenting today? The connections might surprise you. Purity Culture, much like the prosperity gospel, promises rewards for adhering to specific behaviors, but it often leads to disappointment and shame. And all too often in the church, parents apply this same type of thinking to their children. Parents assume that they will be rewarded with God-honoring, God-fearing children if they teach their children all the right things and parent the Biblical way. Like with the Prosperity Gospel and Purity Culture, the emphasis is on the outcome, not your child's relationship with God. In this thought-provoking episode of "Christian Parent/Crazy World," Catherine engages Dr. Lina Abujamra in a candid discussion about the harmful effects of Purity Culture in Christian communities. They highlight how Purity Culture parallels the Prosperity Gospel by creating unrealistic expectations and measuring spiritual worth through outcomes rather than genuine faith and grace. Episode Highlights: Purity Culture and Prosperity Gospel: Lina Abujamra draws parallels between purity culture and the prosperity gospel, noting how both promise material or relational rewards for specific behaviors. While purity culture emphasizes sexual abstinence with the promise of perfect marriages and fulfilling sex lives, the prosperity gospel promises material wealth and success for faithful followers. Misplaced Expectations: Both movements often set up unrealistic expectations, leading to disillusionment and shame when life doesn't unfold as promised. This results in individuals feeling unworthy or questioning their faith when they don't receive the anticipated rewards. Misogynistic Undertones: Lina and Catherine criticize the misogynistic tendencies within purity culture, where women often bear a disproportionate burden of maintaining purity. Object lessons like the chewed gum or wilted flower are used to shame women, implying that they lose their worth through sexual activity. Biblical Misinterpretations: Both purity culture and the prosperity gospel teachings divert from Biblical truths, focusing more on human efforts and rewards than on God's grace and the transformative power through a relationship with Christ. Impact on Young Believers: Catherine and Lina discuss the generational fallout from purity culture, noting how younger Christians are increasingly rejecting outdated, shaming shaming messages. This shift highlights the need for a more grace-filled, genuine approach to faith that centers on a deep, personal relationship with God.   Key Takeaways: - Parents should teach their children that faith isn't about earning rewards through good behavior, but about nurturing a genuine, loving relationship with Christ.   - Rejecting the false promises of purity culture and prosperity gospel can prevent the deep disappointment and shame that arise from unmet expectations. - A grace-filled approach to faith that acknowledges personal struggles and imperfection can lead to more authentic spiritual growth and fulfillment. - Both purity culture and prosperity gospel distort the Gospel's core message by equating spiritual worth with specific outcomes, rather than the inherent value found in a relationship with Jesus.   Guest bio: Dr. Lina Abujamra is a distinguished pediatric emergency room doctor, author, speaker, and the founder of Living With Power Ministries. Known for her dynamic and heartfelt approach, she offers practical biblical insights to help people navigate life's challenges with faith and resilience. Her most recent book, Don't Tell Anyone You're Reading This: A Christian Doctor's Thoughts on Sex, Shame, and Other Troublesome Issues, offers a candid look into her sexual struggles and the grace that brought her freedom. OTHER EPISODES IN THIS SERIES: Ep. 119 "Finding Freedom from Sexual Sin and Brokenness" EPISODE RESCOURCES: “A Statement on I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris Horatio Gates Spafford - “The Story behind the Hymn It is Well with My Soul” “The Amazingly Graced Life of John Newton” Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Butterfield Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I was and Who God Has always Been by Jackie Hill Perry A Change of Affection: A Gay Man's Incredible Story of Redemption by Becket Cook   SCRIPTURES REFERENCED: Matthew 5:8 John 13:35 Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Joshua Harris, author of the notorious book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", to discuss the book's lasting impact, as well as the importance of recognizing when our beliefs are negatively affecting others and being able to change our minds. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of my book "A Jumble of Crumpled Papers".   The Crumpled Papers Podcast now has a Patreon!  https://patreon.com/CrumpledPapersPodcast?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link    Get your copy of “A Jumble of Crumpled Papers” here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0BCD5PMX5/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=      Connect with us! Austin's Instagram: www.instagram.com/austin_noll  Podcast's Instagram: www.instagram.com/crumpledpaperspodcast  Email us at crumpledpaperspodcast@gmail.com   Check out Josh's work at "Clear and Loud"! www.clearandloud.com  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/clear-loud-with-josh-harris/id1612325690  Connect with Josh: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harrisjosh/     

This week we will be talking to a notorious former pastor about their experience growing up inside high control religion, becoming a poster child for purity culture, being set up to take over for a large church and ultimately giving it all up, deconstructing his faith and leaving the church. If you grew up in evangelicalism, and likely even if you didn't, you're sure to be familiar with Joshua Harris, author of the wildly popular Christian dating, ahem, courting, book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. He's here to share with us about his time inside of high control religion, what opened his eyes to the unhealthy dynamics inside the church and his process of healing after leaving. It's an episode that all of our younger selves never saw coming and definitely one you won't want to miss!  We'll also be squeezing in some prayer requests as Andrew is back to lift up those “unspokens” and you may have heard Laura say a couple weeks ago that our last episode of season 1 would be after this episode, but fear not, we'll be back in a couple weeks with a new episode and are excited to share the fun things we have coming in store for you this summer…because what's a Sunday School Dropout without Vacation Bible School?  This podcast is brought to you by the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery: an online trauma coaching company whose practitioners are trauma informed and trauma trained to work with individuals, couples and families who have experienced high control religion, cults, and religious trauma. For more information on the support that CTRR provides, for resources–including courses, workshops, and more–head to traumaresolutionandrecovery.com or follow us on Instagram: @traumaresolutionandrecovery  The views and opinions expressed by Sunday School Dropouts are those of the hosts and not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery. Any of the content provided by our guests, sponsors, authors, or bloggers are their own ideas and opinions. The Sunday School Dropouts podcast is not anti-religion but it is anti -harm, -power and control, -oppression and, -abuse and will speak to the harmful practices and messaging of fundamentalist groups.  Follow Andrew on Instagram and TikTok @deconstruct_everything  Follow Laura on Instagram and TikTok @drlauraeanderson or on her website: www.drlauraeanderson.com  Hosts:  Laura Anderson and Andrew Kerbs Music by Benjamin Faye Music @heytherebenji  Editing and Production by Kevin Crowe and can be found at  www.kevincrowe.co

On today's episode, we read through our listeners' experiences with the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris, and purity culture in general. WE HAVE NEW MERCH AVAILABLE, AND A NEW MERCH SHOP, at https://leavingedenpodcast.threadless.comStream the Leaving Eden Podcast theme song, Rolling River of Time on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/artist/6lB7RwSQ9X5gnt1BDNugyS?si=jVhmqFfYRSiruRxekdLgKA.Join our Facebook Discussion group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/edenexodusJoin our subreddit! Reddit.com/r/EdenExodusInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/leavingedenpodcast/https://www.instagram.com/sadiecarpentermusic/https://www.instagram.com/gavrielhacohen/Twitter:https://twitter.com/HellYeahSadieFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/LeavingEdenPodcasthttps://www.facebook.com/GavrielHaCohen Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today we discuss "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," by Joshua Harris. This book, published in 1997, became the definitive guide to dating within purity culture in the evangelical movement from the late 1990s through the 2010s. While Joshua Harris has since disavowed all of the teachings of this book, the fear-based approach to dating and purity culture lives on. If you are a new listener to our show or are just finding out about the IFB from the "Let Us Prey" Documentary, we recommend listening to episode 57, as well as our 5-part "First Family of Fundamentalism" series from fall of 2020.WE HAVE NEW MERCH AVAILABLE, AND A NEW MERCH SHOP, at https://leavingedenpodcast.threadless.comStream the Leaving Eden Podcast theme song, Rolling River of Time on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/artist/6lB7RwSQ9X5gnt1BDNugyS?si=jVhmqFfYRSiruRxekdLgKA.Join our Facebook Discussion group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/edenexodusJoin our subreddit! Reddit.com/r/EdenExodusInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/leavingedenpodcast/https://www.instagram.com/sadiecarpentermusic/https://www.instagram.com/gavrielhacohen/Twitter:https://twitter.com/HellYeahSadieFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/LeavingEdenPodcasthttps://www.facebook.com/GavrielHaCohen Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Davey Jackson talks to Josh Harris about his infamous book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and the profound impact it had on Christians all over the world. "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" was the definitive guide to dating and relationships in the fundamental Christian community when it was published in 1997. It outlined "courtship" as a godly alternative to secular dating and was widely embraced by members of the Shiny Happy People cult. While the book's popularity was celebrated as a success for proponents of purity culture, Josh began to see inconsistencies in some of the Biblical teachings he had been promoting. Josh was faced with a drastic decision that would alter the course of his life and make waves throughout the evangelical community. Follow on social media: Josh Harris - @harrisjosh Friends With Davey - @friendswithdavey Davey Jackson - @daveyjax Check out the new Friends With Davey merch store: www.friendswithdavey.com Listen to Davey Jackson livestreaming with a new friend every Wednesday at 8:00PM CST. Podcast audio available on Spotify, iTunes, and all streaming platforms.

Josiah references two books: Presenting Jesus, the Son of Israel: A Jewish Commentary on the Gospels by Rivi LitvinNurture their Nature by Rabbi Yosef Lynn

Purity culture once dominated the American church scene, and the book at its center was I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. Now, over 25 years later, Joshua and Shannon, his wife, have divorced. Joshua has renounced Christianity, and, most recently, Shannon has released a new, different perspective, in a book called The Woman They Wanted, giving us a behind-the-scenes view of what really went on in their church and their marriage. Now, in an exclusive interview, we talk to Shannon to hear all the hard truths of what really happened and what we can learn from the whole affair. This is an episode you cannot miss!!!

The Two Great Commandments sum up the laws given on Mount Sinai and intersect with every stage of our salvation - justification, sanctification, and glorification. - Sermon Transcript - This morning we're going to begin to embark on a vital journey into what I think is the very heart of God and the heart of our salvation. Why did God create us to begin with? Why did God create all things? What is our true nature? What is our purpose and what is our destiny, our destination? The text we're studying carefully for the next number of weeks holds a key to unlocking these central questions, these core questions, for, I believe that when all is said and done, it's all about these two great commandments. More specifically, it is that in heaven our hearts will be glorified, totally conformed to Christ, so that we will perfectly fulfill the two great commandments, every moment of our existence for all eternity, that we will finally love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and we'll finally love our neighbors as ourselves. I believe that these words rightly understood, sum up the law of God and the very heart of God. It's why we were created and they define also a perfect life in God's universe. They are our destiny in Christ. It all comes down then ultimately to one word “love.” The more I've meditated on our future in heaven, in a perfect world characterized by perfect love, vertically toward God and perfect love horizontally toward every redeemed person, I’ve seen how vital these two commandments really are. According to Jesus, they sum up the law and the prophets, and I have seen how much I have come to delight in them. As Paul says in Romans 7:22, “In my inner being, I delight in God's law,” and if you are born again, if you are redeemed, you do too. Or again, Psalm 119:97, “Oh how I love your law. I meditate on it all day long.” So I had an idea of preaching the sermon generally the way that I am going to preach it today, but I started to realize that as beautiful as these two great positive commandments are, we can't simply stay positive and just say love God and love others. The comprehension of that word “love” is anything but simple because of the entrance of sin into the universe, our ability to define love properly and to love properly is fatally damaged, diseased. Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” The heart of sinful humanity is desperately wicked. It is diseased. It is beyond cure. In our sinful state, we cannot be trusted that “all you need is love.” Some of you're old enough to know what I'm talking about. All You Need is Love and other such songs, which I'm not going to shame myself by quoting right now. They're in my manuscript, but I'm not going to say them. This is all the world needs is love, just love. Most sinners will be delighted to hear that message and then go on to love whatever they want, however they want, whenever they want, and call it love. We will love in ways that our holy God calls deeply corrupt, and we'll cover it with a slogan like “Love is love.” Martin Luther, the great theologian, said very famously, “love God and do as you please.” Can I tell you generally, you will do that in heaven. Yes, and I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to talk about that, but we can't hear that properly here on earth. “Love God and do as you please” in our modern, corrupt age. That seems wonderful. Do whatever you want. Whatever your heart leads you to do, whatever makes you happy, whatever you truly love. Our hearts and minds and souls are drunk with sin and fatally, our judgment is fatally impaired. This week as I was preparing for this sermon, I read a pretty tragic article in Christianity Today. The author of the article was writing about a book written by Shannon Harris, who's the former wife of Joshua Harris, who some of you will remember wrote a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. He was a leader of what came to be called in a weird sort of way, “the purity culture” as though being against fornication was some new thing, but anyway, purity culture and the book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Sadly, Joshua Harris has since renounced the Christian faith and apparently so has his former wife, Shannon. They're divorced and she spoke in her book, which the article was about in the strongest terms about healing from a culture of Christian shame over our hearts and over our choices. She was specifically hard on Calvinism, which she called worm theology, we're nothing but worms. She said in her book, we must strive to connect to our own wisdom, to nature and to our own fulfillment in work and pleasure and to our own ways of being and doing. The author of the article in Christianity Today spoke approvingly of how refreshing it must be for her readers to think positively about themselves and their bodies including their sexuality. After years of hearing harsh sermons about our foolish hearts and our sinful flesh when asked what this connecting to our bodies and our own heart's desires might look like in practice, Shannon Harris said, sometimes it might look like bringing your neighbor freshly made bread just to cheer them up, but other times it might look like following your own wisdom and seeking your own pleasure like binging on a sleeve of Oreos while watching porn or trolling someone you don't like online. Instead of spending time with your kids, she asserts that we are stunning image bearers of God and we've been given beautiful hearts and beautiful bodies and we need to follow our desires wherever they lead. As I read that, I was grieved not just about her, but about Christianity Today publishing an article like that. I saw that her theology was utterly corrupt, but it's nothing new, nothing new. Follow your heart. Have you ever heard that phrase, “follow your heart”? One commentator on the article said that that was the first commandment of every Hallmark Special that there's ever been— follow your heart. The prophet Jeremiah, who talked about the desperately wicked nature of the human heart, saw in the idolatrous people of Israel and Judah, that same drive, “follow your heart.” God spoke to them through the prophet again and again [Jeremiah 7:24], but they did not listen or pay attention. Instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. That sounds pretty relevant, doesn't it? They were following their heart, but there's some extra words here from Jeremiah—“they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts.” Nine times in Jeremiah, the same phrase is used “following the stubborn inclinations of evil hearts." It's a very strong theme in the book of Jeremiah. If all I do during these weeks that we look at the two great commandments is say, “love God and love others”, no matter how you define that, I would be failing as a pastor. I can't do that. Imagine two men sitting in a bar. One of them has been drinking heavily and the other is the designated driver. He's had nothing but ginger ale to drink all night. At the end of the evening, the drunk man says to his designated driver, “Friend, give me the keys. I want to drive home.” The sober friend asked, “Do you think you'll be okay driving?” The drunk man assures him that his judgment is fine and he's able to drive, and it won't be any problem at all. In the spirit of the age, the designated driver handing over the keys to this drunk man based on his self-confidence and his ability to drive and operate the vehicle may very well be signing that man's death warrant and that of some innocent bystanders. That man's judgment is fatally impaired. How much worse is our judgment when it comes to love naturally? Apart from the transforming grace of God, that's what we're like. As I initially conceived of the sermon, how the law of God, the two great commandments, interacts with us at different stages of our salvation, I wanted to just be positive, but I realized I can't do that. I have to do both. I have to talk about the positive but also the negative. The law, the prohibitions, are essential to show us not only what love is but what love isn't, and we need both. Let's start this morning with a simple summary of the encounter that Jesus had that opened up this vital topic. Look at Mark 22:28 and following, “One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating, noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer. He asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus ‘is this, Here O Israel, the Lord our God. The Lord is one, love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this, love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these .’ ‘Well said ,teacher,’ the man replied. ‘You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart and with all your understanding, with all your strength and to love your neighbors yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.’ He said to him, ‘You're not far from the kingdom of God.’” Stop there. So Jesus in the final week of his life has had one controversial encounter after another, but then along comes this man, called in another place an expert in the law, the laws of Moses, but this man is different than the others. He has a genuine heart after God. He really wants to know what is the greatest commandment. Jesus commends him as being not far from the kingdom of God. He comes to Jesus and says, “Of all the commandments, God has given us his people, which is the most important? He does not ask this as others have to justify himself, but he wants to understand the heart of God and he thinks that Jesus is a good teacher on this. I tell you, none better. He came to the right place and at the end of that encounter, this man shows a true yearning for intimacy with God. Jesus declares,”He's not far from the kingdom of God.” He's knocking on the door and you get the sense the door's about to swing open to him. Jesus gives his timeless answer: “The most important one is this, hear O Israel, the Lord our God, The Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength.” Then Jesus added more than the man asked for, the second greatest commandment. “The second is this [verse 31] love your neighbors as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Now in Matthew's account there's some additional information in the exchange. Jesus says, “This is the first and greatest commandment, and the second is like it: Love your neighbors as yourself. All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.” So the first commandment is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, but not equal to it as God is infinitely more important than your neighbor. The first commandment is infinitely more important than the second, but Jesus then adds that all the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments. In other words, all the 613 commandments that the Jewish scholars counted in the Old Testament depend on these and are to some degree perfectly summed up by these two commandments. But these two great commandments are more than merely God's law given in the old covenant to the Jewish nation. They describe the perfect righteousness that Jesus gives us at the cross by faith, the beautiful life that God enables us to live by the spirit and the radiantly glorious perfection that we'll enjoy in heaven. So that's today's sermon, the two great commandments and how they intersect with us at every stage of our salvation. That's what we're going to walk through today. I. The Stages of Salvation So let's talk about the stages of the salvation. Jesus came into the world [Matthew 1:21]. The angel told Joseph, you'll give him the name Jesus because He will save his people from their sins. That's Jesus' mission, to save us from our sins or to expand it a little bit, to save us and the universe from everything that sin has done to us and to the universe. That's what Jesus came into the world to do and so, for us, in terms of our own sin, He came to save us from the penalty of sin, from the practice of sin and from the very presence of sin. Those translate into the three great stages of salvation: justification, sanctification, glorification. These are the three stages. We don't get our salvation all at once. Justification is the instantaneous work of God based on our faith in Christ and in his bloodshed on the cross, the instantaneous work of God in declaring us not guilty before him of all of our sins, putting it simply, forgiven, forgiven and seen to be righteous in his sight, not by works, but by faith in the blood of Christ. Sanctification is a gradual process by which justified people are transformed more and more into Christ's likeness, Christ-like mind and heart leading to a Christ-like lifestyle. It is a mysterious process worked by cooperation between the regenerate person who has a new heart and a new nature, and the indwelling Holy Spirit, a mysterious cooperation between the two. We are to be led by the spirit to put sin to death by the Spirit and the Spirit’s works. Positive virtues summed up by the two great commandments, positive virtues in us such as the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithful, self-control. This is sanctification, gradual transformation of lifestyle, mind, heart, life. It works by practice, by habit, by the ministry of the word of God, by intense effort fighting the good fight on the part of the Christian, it never ends in this life. We'll never be perfect in this life. It's a constant seeking after Christ-like perfection. "Sanctification is a gradual process by which justified people are transformed more and more into Christ's likeness, Christ-like mind and heart leading to a Christ-like lifestyle. It is a mysterious process worked by cooperation between the regenerate person who has a new heart and a new nature, and the indwelling Holy Spirit." Glorification is the instantaneous work of God, whereby by his sovereign power, he instantly conforms the Christian to absolute perfection in the likeness of Christ. It happens generally in two stages. First at death when the spirit is separated from the body and the body goes to corruption, but the spirit is instantly made perfect and brought into the presence of God, it will never sin again. The spirit absent from the body, present with the Lord, is pure and perfect in conformity to Christ, but the salvation isn't finished yet. It happens at the end of the age, at the coming of Christ. When the dead in Christ are raised, those that are still alive also mysteriously instantly transformed. All of them receiving resurrection bodies to Christ's resurrection body. That's it. That's the finish line. Meanwhile, some really awesome things are happening with the universe as well. It's made new, new heaven, new earth. I would say it's resurrected like our bodies into perfection. That's where we're heading. It sounds magnificent. Those are the stages of salvation. II. The Two Great Commandments and Justification Now, what I want to do is I want to line up the two great commandments with each stage because the law functions differently at each stage. When I was practicing this unbelievably long sermon yesterday, and it is long, but when I was practicing it, I realized when I got to sanctification, I myself became a little discouraged at how long I'd been talking. I want you to know the sermon's not equally weighted, just I'm warning or encouraging you. I don't know what word here, but much more on justification than sanctification and glorification. Also, I want you to know it’s like a hot air balloon. I'm pitching things out of the gondola every minute here on my outline, so I'm doing fine. So let's talk about the two great commandments. First of all, in justification, prior to justification, the law, the two great commandments, the law convicts us and brings us to Christ for salvation. The law diagnoses our heart condition and shows us the depths of our disease. We cannot simply be positive. As I've said, we cannot simply say love God and love others. We need the prohibitions and the Ten Commandments are mostly negative. Nine out of the ten of them are negative. We are to have no other gods beside the true God for to have any other gods is to worship an idol. We are not to make any physical representations of God, no idols. We are not to take the name of the Lord in vain. We are to do no work on the Sabbath. We are to honor our father and mother. We are not to murder other people. We are not to commit adultery. We are not to steal. We are not to bear false witness and we are not to covet anything that belongs to anyone else. Nine of the ten of them are negative. If all we do is say to people “Love God and love others,” they'll think they already do in their definition of love. Broadly and weirdly, we are so defiled in our minds, we cannot possibly define love properly. In Romans 1 through 3, Paul unfolds this and shows how corrupt, sinful humanity is by the things they actually love in their lostness. For example, Romans 1:26 says, “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts.” Now that word “shameful lust” in the King James version is “vile affections;” things that people love that they shouldn't, or again, in the ESV text, “dishonorable passions” and that's nestled in a discussion of homosexuality. “Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way, the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust. For one another, men committed indecent acts with other men and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.” You can't tell those people just love whatever you want or however you want. Paul then goes on to show how our depraved minds lead to all manner of strange affections. Loves that lead to wicked practices. "Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind to do what ought not to be done. They become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. They're full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love no mercy. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things, but also approve of those that practice them.” [Romans 1:28-32] Do you not see how it's corrupt love that leads to depraved actions. In Romans 7, Paul cites a negative command, a prohibition as showing him his sinfulness. In Romans 7,8, and 9, he said, “I would not have known what sin was except through the law for I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, do not covet but sin seizing the opportunity afforded by the command produced in me every kind of covetous desire.” Coveting is by definition loving something you ought not to love. And yet for all of that in Romans, Paul turns the whole thing around and says, all of the horizontal commands that are prohibitions can be summed up in this one command: Love your neighbor as yourself, all of them. Romans 13:9-10, “The commandments,” do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not covet, and whatever other commandment there may be are summed up in this one rule. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.” So I'm not wrong, Christ isn't wrong saying that the two great commandments sums everything up, but we still need the specificity of the prohibitions to diagnose the corruption of our hearts. Ultimately though, if understood properly, the positive commands are crushing. There are people that can go through life and never murder and never commit adultery, although they still are going to yearn to murder through anger and yearn to commit adultery through lust as Jesus said in the Sermon of the Mount. “But who can rightly say, I have loved God with all of my heart, with all of my soul, with all of my strength and with all of my mind, every moment of my life, and I have loved my neighbor the way I love myself every day. Who could actually say that we did not do these things?” Charles Spurgeon said this. Is there someone here so profoundly brainless as to reply: “I intend to keep it. I believe I can perfectly obey it and I think I can get to heaven by obedience to it.” Man, you are either a fool or else willfully ignorant for sure. If you truly understand this commandment, you'll at once hang down your hands and say obedience of that is quite impossible, thorough and perfect obedience of that no man can hope to reach, though some of you think you'll go to heaven by your good works. This is the first stone that you are to step upon and I am sure it is too high for your reach. You might as well try to climb to heaven by the mountains of earth and take the Himalayas to be your first step for to obey. This must ever be an impossibility, but remember, you cannot be saved by your works if you do not obey this entirely perfectly, constantly and forever. Well, someone replies, “I dare say, if I try and obey it as well as I can that will do.” No sir, it will not. God demands that you perfectly obey this and if you do not perfectly obey it, He will condemn you. Oh, someone cries out: “Who then can be saved?” That is the point to which I wish to bring you: who can be saved by this law? No one in the world. Salvation by the works of the laws proves to be an impossibility. None of you therefore will say you will try to obey it and so hope to be saved. I hear the best Christian in the world groan, “Oh God,” he says, “I am guilty. Should you cast me into hell. I dare not say otherwise. I have broken this command from my youth up even since my conversion. I have violated it every day. I know that if you should lay justice to the line and righteousness to the plummet, I would be swept away forever. Lord, I renounce my trust in the law for by it I know I can never see your face and be accepted.” Then the law in this phase of our salvation hunts us down relentlessly to bring us to justice. I picture an avenger chasing my fleeing conscience. I picture Inspector Javert, a miserable prison guard who rose to become a prison inspector relentlessly and hunt down Jean Valjean. He would never turn away, could not, would not show mercy. So it is with the law of God. It cannot show mercy in this phase. In Pilgrim's Progress, when Faithful is relating to Christian his testimony, he's trying to get up the terrifying Mount Sinai that Christian also tried to ascend for his own salvation. Suddenly he looked behind him and saw a man chasing him as swiftly as the wind. He overtook Faithful and began beating him savagely. He knocked him to the ground and laid him unconscious as if dead. When he awoke, he asked this man why he treated him like that. The man answered it was because of his secret inclination to sin. Then he struck him again, viciously on the chest and beat him back down to the ground once again. Faithful, laid at this man's feet like a dead man. When he came to again, he begged this man for mercy, but the man answered, I do not know how to show mercy. This man would've finished Faithful off once and for all, but another man came and told him to stop. Christian asked Faithful who was the man that told him to stop. Faithful, answered, “I did not know him at first, but I perceived that he had holes in his hands and his side, so I concluded he was our Lord Jesus.” Christian told Faithful the man who struck him was Moses, and he spares no one. He does not know how to show mercy to those that violate his law. Anyway, that's a picture of how the law pursues sinners to death. It is not the task of the law to save you, to show mercy to you. It requires absolute and perfect obedience to every precept, large and small for your whole life. You all know it's too late. It cannot show you mercy, the law will hunt down the sinner and pursue him until he finds the only refuge there is and that is the cross of Jesus Christ. The law with its written code of regulations kills us. Colossians 2:14, “(The law) was against us and stood opposed to us.” Second Corinthians 3:6, “the letter kills.” Second Corinthians 3:7, “The ministry that brought death was engraved in letters on stone.” Paul says in Romans 7, “Once I was alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.” So during our days of conviction, before our conversion, we realized that we have sin more than we can possibly recount. Day after day, we have failed to keep the Ten Commandments. We have failed to keep the two Great Commandments. We have not loved God with all of our hearts, all our souls, all our minds, all our strength. Not at all. Actually, our sinful mind was hostile to God, it didn't submit to God's law. It couldn't. We secretly hated his purity. We secretly hated his authority, his right to send us to hell. We have been disgusted by or bored by aspects of his Word. We have pursued created things rather than the creator. We have lived for pleasure and money and pride and various secret lusts. Furthermore, we have not loved our neighbor as ourselves. We have been selfish with our time, our energy and our money. We've hated other people, been angry at them, irritated by them. We've coveted their possessions and their accomplishments and achievements in their people. We have seethed with resentment at people's affronts and we've sought revenge in our own ways. We've slandered them, gossiped against them, secretly connived to ruin them. The record of the infamous is far longer than we can possibly imagine on the basis of them. The law hunts us down to kill us. It chases our consciences, accuses us with no remedy. It drives us to the cross. It drives us hard to the cross and the Lord is drawing us in that process to salvation. The Holy Spirit is given to convict the world of guilt. Essential to that are the relentless claims of the two Great Commandments, for that is how God defines sin. The second commandment is that you love your neighbor as yourself. On Judgment Day Jesus will say to many, “I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink. I was a stranger. You did not invite me in. I needed clothes and you did not clothe me. I was sick and imprisoned and you did nothing to help me. You just walk right by.” Those are failures of the second Great Commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. The Spirit presses these claims on us, shatters our self righteousness and makes us spiritual beggars and brings us to Calvary. What do we find at Calvary? First, you see a man crushed under the wrath and the justice of God because we have transgressed these commandments. That's what you find there. You find a man who is willing to take your punishment on himself in your place. That's what you find there, all of the wrath that we deserve for our violations of the two Great Commandments, He absorbed. He drank the cup of God's wrath. He cried out,”My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” because we didn't keep these commandments. He was seen positionally to be the most unloving man in history who absolutely did not love God with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength, and did not love his neighbor as himself, positionally as our substitute, though He was perfectly righteous. What do we find at the cross? We find a man, the only man in history who has ever perfectly obeyed these two commandments. He was the most loving man who ever lived vertically and horizontally every moment of his life. He loved his father, cherished his father. He said, “I always do what pleases him.” Think about that, “I always do what pleases him.” He also gave himself horizontally day after day to other people. I often picture some of these crazy days that Jesus had in his ministry, the relentless press of a crowd desperate for physical healing. Think of what it would be like, and He seems like he healed people for the most part one at a time. I have no evidence there were any mass healings. He touched people, gave a word to lepers, blind people, paralyzed people. What was a day like? At the end of the day, I picture him exhausted and there's one more person coming, Jarius, and he's got a daughter who's dying and there's no self pity. Not “do you realize what kind of day I've had? Come back tomorrow.” There's none of that. He gets up, He will go. Has anyone ever loved his neighbor like Jesus? The ultimate picture and proof of both the vertical and the horizontal is his death on the cross. He said that the world must learn that He loved his father and obeyed him. They would see it when He died, and it was for us that He died. What's so beautiful is that this perfect righteousness, this perfect obedience to the two great commandments is offered to us as a gift freely. That's incredible. Do you see that positionally, He's offering perfect obedience for his whole life to you as a gift. It's called imputed righteousness. Listen to Romans 5:19, “For just as through the disobedience of the one man, Adam, the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man, the many were made righteous.” Righteous equals obedient. By faith in Christ, Jesus makes you obedient to the law of God, positionally as though you have never violated his law. Do you realize what good news that is? All the times you have failed to love vertically and horizontally were put on Jesus. He paid for it with his perfect righteousness. He won by a life of love. He offers you a beautiful robe of righteousness. “Here, put this on. You're going to need it on Judgment Day. Put it on, now.” How beautiful is that? Right now, I want to invite anyone who came in here trusting in his or her own righteousness to throw it away and look to Christ only for forgiveness of sins. Look to Christ only for salvation. Trust in him alone. I was on a plane coming back here, sitting with a man. We had a great conversation. He's about my age, Roman Catholic, very religious. He’d been on a number of pilgrimages to Rome, went up that staircase on his knees. I said, “Why did you do that?” We'd already talked about the gospel. He said, “Well, it can't hurt.” I think it can. I'm not meaning physically. I'm sure it hurt physically, but if you're trusting in your works to save you, you cannot come to Christ. III. The Two Great Commandments and Sanctification Secondly, two great commandments and sanctification. Once we have been crushed by God's law and brought to faith in Christ at that moment, God's sovereignly takes out the heart of stone and gives us a living heart, a heart of flesh, and moves us to obey his commands and keep his statutes and that specifically means the two Great Commandments. Suddenly, the law instead of standing opposed to you as your greatest enemy now becomes your greatest friend in defining a good life, a righteous life, a blessed life, and the indwelling Holy Spirit is given to combine with your new nature, that heart of flesh that's been given, and in a mysterious combination. The Spirit moves you to obey God's laws as it says in Romans 8:4, “In order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us who do not live according to the sinful nature, but according to the spirit.” We now live out the law. Day by day in our sanctification, the Holy Spirit energizes us and moves us and says basically day after day after day of your Christian life, love God and love others. He says that to you every day, love God and love others. Every moment of every day, the Spirit pushes us more and more to love God. And we see, as I mentioned at the beginning of my sermon, the beauty of God's laws, the perfection of them in my inner being. I delight in God's law. Romans 7:22 and Psalm 119:32, “I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free. Your statutes are my delight. They're my counselors. I delight in your decrees. I will not neglect your word. Direct me in the path of your commands. For there I find delight. I delight in your commands because I love them.” Psalm 119, that's a regenerate heart, crying out, “I love your law. It's my best friend. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." [Psalm 119:105] It shows me what to do. Or Psalm 19, “The law of the Lord is perfect. Reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise, the simple, the precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous. They're more precious than gold, than much pure gold. They're sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.” So the Spirit instructs us daily on what love for God looks like: to delight in God's very being, to delight in his word, to delight in his purposes in the world, his intentions for you to delight in these things. All of those bring to us a deep desire to please God day after day one. [John 15:10], This is love for God to obey His commands and his commands are not burdensome. The Spirit also convicts us when we fail, doesn't He? When our hearts are hard and distant from God, when we nail it in corporate worship, “these people worship with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” That's us. Sometimes the Spirit's there to convict us when our actions dishonor him, when we violate some of the prohibitions that we know are still part of the moral law of God, when we lust, when we're lazy, when we're selfish, when we're angry, carnally angry, when we say things we wish we hadn't said and we regret it. The Holy Spirit convicts us, saying, “That was not loving.” It was not loving, and He's convicting you and bringing you again and again to this perfect standard of loving God with all of your heart, soul, mine, and strength. Love your neighbors yourself. That's what He does. The battle within us is a battle over these two Great Commandments [Romans 7], “So I find this law at work when I want to do good. Evil is right there with me for my inner being. I delight in God's law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am. Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Brothers and sisters, someday you're going to be delivered from this body of death and the war will be over. You'll be done fighting. VI. Two Great Commandments and Glorification What's it going to be like in heaven? I'll tell you what it's going to be like. Heaven will be a world of love and you'll spend eternity, perfectly loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and your heart will be so expanded toward your brothers and sisters in Christ redeemed. They will shine like the sun and so will you. You will delight in their beauty and in their achievements. You'll not be jealous of them. You'll want to hear their stories, how God saved them. Your heart will be so expanded to take them in yourself that when one part of the body is honored, the whole body will be honored with it. And I picture this way, I'm just telling a story about myself. I'm an introvert. I know that's a little weird. Here I am in front of all these people, but I'm an introvert. It doesn't mean I don't like people. I do. I love people, but I think what it means is you're kind of energized by being alone. But I picture being so healed from the dark side of whatever that is, that I'll be sitting on some beautiful hill on the new earth and suddenly 50 people will come along. Ordinarily I would get up and find another quiet spot, but I'll be thrilled that all 50 of you are there and if another 50 come along, that'll be even better. The best of all will be vertical. You'll see the face of God directly. And God alone will be the joy of our eternal home. He will be our one desire. Our hearts will never tire of God and God alone. That's what we're going to spend eternity doing. "Heaven will be a world of love and you'll spend eternity, perfectly loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and your heart will be so expanded toward your brothers and sisters in Christ redeemed." Close with me in prayer. Father, we thank you for this time that we've had to study your word, to study the law. We thank you, oh Lord, that this law, which was at one point, our enemy that stood opposed to us, was against us, has now become our sweetest and deepest friend in defining a pure and holy life. We thank you that Christ’s righteousness has been given to us as a gift, and now is being worked in us actually by the Spirit and will be given to us directly and completely and perfectly at the end. Give us hope, oh Lord, help us to realize that our battle with sin is not in vain. Someday we will triumph. We will be more than conquerors through him who loved us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Shannon Harris, ex-wife of the man who wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" shares her story in her own book "The Woman They Wanted."

Shannon Harris is on the podcast this week. We talk about her new book The Woman they Wanted: Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian WifeI have a particular interest in this book because it's a behind the scenes look at the culture of the church I grew up in: Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland. There is national relevance for Shannon's story, however, because she was married to Joshua Harris, author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, for 21 years. Josh's book was a national best-seller and shaped the romantic and sexual lives of countless evangelical Christians. Josh and Shannon divorced in 2019, which was big enough news at the time to be written up by CNN.I asked Shannon:who she wrote the book forhow she thinks about the idea that some will not listen to anything she says because she doesn't believe everything they dothe ways in which the church we both spent years in taught us to distrust our intuition and our gutabout her account of the sidelining and erasure of women in a religious subcultureI read this book very quickly. It's well-written, highly readable, and written in very short chapters. I also think Shannon deals with delicate stories involving other people — especially the leaders from our church — with a deft and tasteful touch.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Runaway Eve Book Club is once again in session. We're continuing our deep dive into the infamous "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", written by Evangelical darling of the 90s Joshua Harris. Yes, he's since renounced the book. Yes, he's since "apologized". But, as they say... "there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known". (It's the Bible. The Bible says that.) So we're taking Josh to task and discussing the ways he upheld and solidified the damaging and dangerous beliefs inherent to Christian dating and courtship, and holding him accountable for the ways this book has reverberated through many of our lives. If you want to read along with "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", I would suggest using Daddy G to search for a free pdf copy, which is what I did. If you must purchase the book, please at least look for an indie bookstore to patronize. :) If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

Whether it was the homeschooling movement, Bill Gothard, or I Kissed Dating Goodbye, lots of people feel like their Christian Fundamentalist upbringing in the 80s/90s did them more harm than good. In this episode, Joël and Rick talk about what's right and wrong about fundamentalism. 

https://iamdyingoutloud.org/Author Sam Torode was once a devout Christian, a proponent of Abstinence and the anti-birth-control movement, and even penned the forward for the now-unpublished best selling book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Josh Harris.Now, Sam looks back on his past from an entirely new lens, recognizing that sometimes our best intentions are our worst ideas. Check out his episode, and then peruse his extensive list of published work here:https://www.samtorode.com/books.html__________________________________________________________Find this episode, and others here:Website:www.growingupfundiepodcast.comSpotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/2EHJGf8kGbSV9SRbqsfYKSApple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/growing-up-fundie/id1602008078Amazon Music:https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/ad6ac91e-c2fb-47d6-8658-df8aed941eac/growing-up-fundiePatreon:https://www.patreon.com/sydneydavisjrjrBuzzsprout Subscriptions:https://www.buzzsprout.com/1908164/supporters/newYoutube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5QuI5etVfbJoTVAhbRGMkADiscord:https://discord.gg/XQNG4nD5Our Subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/GrowingUpFundie/More about the host, Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.sydneydavisjrjr.comThink you might make a great guest, or know someone who would be?Apply for yourself, or nominate someone here:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeHiy8KYW38tyKUD6MbFmOwCKdeWVHAbIA9qst1RBQf4rRPXg/viewform?usp=share_linkSupport the show

Today's episode is all about non-monogamy -- ethical non-monogamy, consensual non-monogamy, polyamory, monogamish, and everything in between. Kaia shares about her own journey of dating non-monogamously: the good dates, the bad relationships, and the euphoric moments alike. --If today's episode reminds you of a story or sentiment you'd like to share with the Warmly community, click here. --Special thanks.Warmly's theme music is written and produced by A Day Without Love. You can listen to more of their stuff here.Stay in touch.You can subscribe to Lately, the Warmly newsletter that goes out once a month, at the end of the month. Click here to subscribe.  If you want some more consistent updates, you can follow Warmly on Instagram or Facebook. Leave a review.To leave an honest review of Warmly click here. 

Purity culture was/is a movement that started in the 1990s primarily within Evangelical American Christianity which emphasized individual "purity," generally associated with female chastity.  Purity culture places a strong emphasis on abstinence before marriage. In some circles, dating was discouraged entirely to avoid pre-marital sex (the book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Josh Harris promoted abstinence and popularized the concept of “courtship” as an alternative to dating. This book sold over a million copies). It's pretty obvious from the Scriptures that God wants Christians to live lives of sexual purity. But did purity culture promote a Biblical vision of sexuality? Or did it use shame and fear? Or even worse…did it promote soft prosperity gospel- in that a certain methodology of relationships would deliver a happily-ever-after ending—a great marriage, a great sex life—even though this isn't necessarily promised by Scripture?

Buckle in for the deep dark history of American Evangelical Virginity. A construct void of consent education, logic, and biblical reason; the girls teach you how purity culture was a federally funded ploy to combat the AIDS crisis and continue the white race. They talk about all the myths we were taught in sunday school and how we somehow ended up with beliefs about pap smears breaking your hymen and the sinlessness of anal sex. If you too read I Kissed Dating Goodbye you are entitled to financial compensation. Give Me Sex, Jesus (Vimeo) https://vimeo.com/137784146 Virgin Nation By Sara Moslener https://www.google.com/books/edition/Virgin_Nation/HiqaCAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0 Queering the Virgin https://journals.openedition.org/ejas/11818 I Kissed Dating Goodbye Documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBqPkIXtblw Broken Promises: Abstinence Pledging and Sexual and Reproductive Health https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12279

Jess and Devi look back at their teenage years and wonder what if... we hadn't kissed dating goodbye. We talk about: what it's like to not get asked out our first dates regrets wisdom we learned along the way what YOU would tell your younger self about dating Full show notes here (so many links about dating and app dating) Follow us on Instagram and Twitter Partner with us to hear our romcom recap next week - Center Stage. It's a ballet drama with a lot to say about romance, body image, and power. Get it here for $3/month (USD). It's coming on Monday!

The Runaway Eve Book Club is once again in session. We're continuing our deep dive into the infamous "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", written by Evangelical darling of the 90s Joshua Harris. Yes, he's since renounced the book. Yes, he's since "apologized". But, as they say... "there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known". (It's the Bible. The Bible says that.) So we're taking Josh to task and discussing the ways he upheld and solidified the damaging and dangerous beliefs inherent to Christian dating and courtship, and holding him accountable for the ways this book has reverberated through many of our lives. I'm still sharing Eve 6- “Jesus Nitelite”, because the entire theme of this chapter is right person, wrong time. (Bonus: little known EP from 1996 that is AMAZING, Eleventeen; CW for some outdated language) If you want to read along with "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", I would suggest using Daddy G to search for a free pdf copy, which is what I did. If you must purchase the book, please at least look for an indie bookstore to patronize. :) If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

Roy Kim and Wilson Wang are joined again by Jenn Hsu, continuing their series revolving around the topic of Relationships. In this episode, we talk about different approaches to dating. Some of our talking points: "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris messed us up! You learn a lot about yourself when you're in a dating relationship The Chicken approach to dating vs The Eagle approach Do you have an off-ramp in your dating relationship? A successful relationship does not always end in marriage Sex has a way of masking true intimacy and character flaws Being desperate is not good for your evaluation skills We are complete as single people What do we look for when we are dating someone? Go to more Larping events   As always, we hope that something you hear helps you feel like you're not alone, that there are others in the same boat as you. Drop us a line: thesameboatpod@gmail.com   Follow Jenn Hsu on Instagram: @jenn_is_n.eat Produced by Clayton Yip [@yipster_hipster] Logo by Hyeyoon Chong [@hye.img] Music by Nathan Baldwin   Wilson Wang is lead pastor of Renew Church OC (www.renewchurchoc.com) and author of the "Called to Be" series and "The Adulting Journal" (www.calledtobeproject.com). You can listen to his sermons here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/renew-church-oc/id1038985827   Roy Kim can be found on social media @thisisroykim Other podcasts: SA Speakeasy [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sa-speakeasy/id1438434927] New Therapist FAQ [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/new-therapist-faq/id1514669839]   Mentioned in today's episode: "How to Get a Date Worth Keeping" by Henry Cloud https://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Date-Worth-Keeping/dp/0310262658    

In 1997, Josh Harris wrote and released a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. The book quickly became a best seller, and purity culture was born.Liefway Christian Booksellers produced True Love Waits—a program primarily designed to teach teens the biblical path to marriage. The program, however, produced unintentional results. Dr. Sandra Glahn of Dallas Theological Seminary sits down with Rebecca Carrell and Liz Rodriguez to talk about the ramifications of purity culture on women and how to rebuild right relationships between men and women in the church.Find more about Dr. Sandra Glahn at http://aspire2.com/.Purchase Dr. Glahn's most recent Bible study at http://aspire2.com/books/coffee-cup-bible-series/.Connect with Dr. Glahn on social media: @sandraglahn If you enjoy the show, would you please consider rating and reviewing Honestly, Though? Those reviews help others find us in the PodUniverse, and we deeply appreciate the love! Also, you can reach out to us personally to join the conversation on the following platforms:Rebecca Carrell: https://www.rebeccacarrell.com/ ; IG - @RebeccaCarrell ; Twitter: @RebeccaACarrell ; FB - Rebecca Ashbrook CarrellLiz Rodriguez: IG: @lizannrodriguez ; FB - Liz Rodriguez - https://www.facebook.com/liz.rodriguez.92775Nika Spaulding: stjudeoakcliff.org ; IG - @NikaAdidas ; Twitter - @NikaAdidas

Rachel Welcher and Amber discuss holding up God's sexual ethic while proclaiming the truth that Jesus forgives and how purity is not a badge of honor that promises us a spouse, a great marriage or a fulfilled sex life. Questions Discussed During Talking Back to Purity Culture: (8:37) As a young, Christian female growing up in the 90's you read books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye, When God Writes Your Love Story, among others. What messages did you begin to internalize in your youth about Christian sexuality and marriage? (13:23) What are some of the things that God does teach about purity in marriage from his word that differ from some of the messages authors would share? 918:07) Regarding your book, Talking Back to Purity Culture, you said, "My goal is not to create a new sexual ethic but to help the church return to a more faithful, orthodox understanding of the Bible says about sexuality and the grace and forgiveness we have through Jesus Christ." Will you expound on that a bit? (22:46) You write, "We wore purity rings as badges of honor, forgetting that it is Jesus who cleanses us from all unrighteousness. The Christian pursuit of sexual purity is biblical, but it must flow out of a recognition that it is Jesus who makes us pure." How does that shift change everything? (25:42) Christian teachings on purity will often place more responsibility on women to preserve the purity of both genders through modest dressing, body language, and so on. Where does this fall short and what are some more healthy ways we can discuss these topics with girls today? (34:13) Reading books in a group can help facilitate conversation on hard topics. How did you encouraged those conversations when you were teaching? (36:43) I deeply appreciate that you end each chapter with discussion questions and an activity. With that said, when readers get to the end of your book, what lessons do you hope they will have learned about sexual purity? SHOW NOTES cont.  Resources Mentioned: Book: Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher Related Episodes: 196: Dean Inserra | Is the Bible's Plan for Sexuality Outdated? 102: Christopher Yuan | Transformation and Holy Sexuality 125: Laura Perry | Transgender to Transformed 119: Shelia Gregoire | Exposing Lies Christians Believe About Sex Come be a part of the Grace Enough Gang Follow Grace Enough: Instagram | Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode we give you the second half of our chat with Hannah Smith (1:40) exploring the implications of Josh Harris's book I KISSED DATING GOODBYE. We hear how Justin and and Hannah have continued to reshape their relationships to sexuality after growing up in repressive Christian communities. In the second half (28:25), Justin and Dan dig into chapter 2 of Esther Perel's MATING IN CAPTIVITY. We look at Esther's belief that too much intimacy, closeness, and comfort can be the death of passion and sexual vitality. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the first half of our two-part discussion, we welcome our friend Hannah Smith: host of the hit true-crime podcast THE OPPORTUNIST. As teens, Justin and Hannah both read the books of Joshua Harris including the best-selling sensation I KISSED DATING GOODBYE. Join us as we unpack the impact this book had on both Justin and Hannah when they first read it. We look at its messaging, context, and Josh Harris's pivot away from the Evangelical Christian community and renunciation of the book. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joshua Harris is the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a best-selling book in the late '90s touting courtship as the superior way to find God's perfect match for you & avoid the perils of sexual sin. It was a required read for many in the evangelical Christian community. In this episode, Josh shares how he changed his mind about the ideas in the book, how our sex lives & careers are connected, and the pros & cons of old-fashioned dating & sexism in the church.If you liked this episode, you'll also like episode 90: PURITY CULTURE IN A CULT: CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE JESUS JERKGuest: https://www.instagram.com/harrisjosh/ | https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/clear-loud-with-josh-harris/id1612325690https://joshharris.com/ | https://twitter.com/HarrisJoshHost:  https://www.meredithforreal.com/  | https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/  | meredith@meredithforreal.com | https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal  | https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovertSponsors: https://uwf.edu/university-advancement/departments/historic-trust/ | https://www.ensec.net/

From Joshua Harris' powerfully influential book I Kissed Dating Goodbye to Bill Gothard's Institute in Basic Life Principles to abstinence pledges to multi-layered cottage industries of virtue and chastity, the Christian, homeschool scene of the past several decades has been saturated in a movement seeking purity from a sexualized and secularized world loosely defined as Purity Culture.  What is Purity Culture?  How and why did it come about?  What have the lasting effects of the movement been?  What are the pros and cons of its basic tenets and teachings?   Brooke Medina leads the group in discussing these very questions.  All four hosts had experience growing up in Purity Culture and bring their unique perspectives to the conversation.  But wait!  There's more!  For the first time the hosts welcome a guest as Calvin Moore's wife, Jennifer Moore, joins the episode to bring balance to the otherwise overly male-centric dynamics of the group.  

Ross and Carrie welcome Alice Greczyn, an actress and author of the  memoir Wayward: Spiritual Warfare and Sexual Purity. In this funny and painful retelling, a tide of evangelical Christianity sweeps over Alice's working class family, convincing her parents that God has called them to a life of voluntary poverty. Now, years later in Los Angeles, she sits down with Ross and Carrie to talk about purity culture, revival “miracles,” and the psychological burdens of writing a memoir. We have social media: Twitter! Facebook!

The Runaway Eve Book Club is once again in session. We're continuing our deep dive into the infamous "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", written by Evangelical darling of the 90s Joshua Harris. Yes, he's since renounced the book. Yes, he's since "apologized". But, as they say... "there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known". (It's the Bible. The Bible says that.) So we're taking Josh to task and discussing the ways he upheld and solidified the damaging and dangerous beliefs inherent to Christian dating and courtship, and holding him accountable for the ways this book has reverberated through many of our lives. In this episode, I mention Eric and Leslie Ludy (allegedly the “Eric and Leslie” Josh mentions in his book). You can learn more about them and their books here. Tread lightly if you're sensitive to Evangelical bullshit. Eve 6- “Jesus Nitelite” (Bonus: little known EP from 1996 that is AMAZING, Eleventeen; CW for some outdated language) If you want to read along with "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", I would suggest using Daddy G to search for a free pdf copy, which is what I did. If you must purchase the book, please at least look for an indie bookstore to patronize. :) If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

Join us for the final episode of season 8! Krispin and Danielle talk about the classic purity culture read, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl and When God Writes Your Love Story. Krispin mentions Emotionally Focused Therapy—find more about that here. We have a website—check it out for more information. You can also find us on Twitter and Instagram. To support our show (we can't do this without you!), join us on Patreon! You'll get access to our monthly patron-only episodes (including the entire backlog), as well as occasional zoom hangouts. And potentially, Krispin will share his online magazine writings. You can join this community for as little as $1.50 a month! Cover art by Zech Bard.

The Runaway Eve Book Club is once again in session. We're continuing our deep dive into the infamous "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", written by Evangelical darling of the 90s Joshua Harris. Yes, he's since renounced the book. Yes, he's since "apologized". But, as they say... "there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known". (It's the Bible. The Bible says that.) So we're taking Josh to task and discussing the ways he upheld and solidified the damaging and dangerous beliefs inherent to Christian dating and courtship, and holding him accountable for the ways this book has reverberated through many of our lives. In this episode, I mention Ravi Zacharias. While I'm hesitant to send you to Christianity Today legitimately, the most comprehensive overview of who he was and what he did can be found here. Massive content warning for themes of rape, sexual assault, abuse of power, etc. If you want to read along with "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", I would suggest using Daddy G to search for a free pdf copy, which is what I did. If you must purchase the book, please at least look for an indie bookstore to patronize. :) If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

The Runaway Eve Book Club is once again in session. We're continuing our deep dive into the infamous "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", written by Evangelical darling of the 90s Joshua Harris. Yes, he's since renounced the book. Yes, he's since "apologized". But, as they say... "there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known". (It's the Bible. The Bible says that.) So we're taking Josh to task and discussing the ways he upheld and solidified the damaging and dangerous beliefs inherent to Christian dating and courtship, and holding him accountable for the ways this book has reverberated through many of our lives. In this episode, I mentioned the book "A Single Revolution: Don't look for a match. Light one." by Shani Silver. Check her out and purchase the book here! If you want to read along with "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", I would suggest using Daddy G to search for a free pdf copy, which is what I did. If you must purchase the book, please at least look for an indie bookstore to patronize. :) If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

The last 2-digit episode of the Bad Brothers podcast. Maybe someone could make an NFT. Michael dreams of having a clean conscience. Will relives mornings at the University of Delaware. Also: fox breeding, pig hearts, Bear Grylls, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, coats with the fur, Chester Bennington, & vanity. Instagram https://instagram.com/badbrotherspodcast  Apple https://apple.co/2JeSUIr Spotify https://sptfy.com/badbrotherspod   Bad Brothers Pod Michael and Will Browning Port Orchard (& Gig Harbor), Washington's Finest Podcast 

Rob McKenzie stopped by from the Reformed Forum and His podcast Theology Simply Profound to let Matt know his take on the recent episode regarding I Kissed Dating Goodbye was wrong. Enjoy the Conversation.  You can follow this podcast all over the internet. twitter,   instagram.    or facebook Or email us at restlesspodcasting@gmail.com

Rob McKenzie stopped by from the Reformed Forum and His podcast Theology Simply Profound to let Matt know his take on the recent episode regarding I Kissed Dating Goodbye was wrong.

Join me and my friend Meghan of the podcast Religious Trauma as we discuss, well, our religious trauma. We talk about purity culture and what that looked like in our own Christian upbringing, deconstruction as adults, and how Joshua Harris of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" infamy is our mortal enemy.

Trigger warning: This episode contains material that may be difficult for some of our listeners to hear. Conversations cover porn, body shaming, Josh Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, statutory rape,  purity culture and abortion. #porn #bodyshaming#JoshuaHarris #JoshHarris#IKissedDatingGoodbye#statutoryrape#purityculture#abortion#sexuallycurious#shamed#dating#relationships#courting#courtship#exvangelical#boymeetsgirl#findingfreedom#onestoryatatime#speakingup#speakingoutSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=8739294)

In this episode, I give the younger generation dating advice and discuss the famous book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” To access the sources for this episode, visit: homeschoolerponderings.blogspot.com To get your copy of my latest book, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Deepen-Dance-Dependence-Prioritizing-Individualism/dp/B0892HX2H7/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=deepen+the+dance+of+dependence&qid=1595309176&sr=8-2 To become a subscriber of this podcast, visit: https://anchor.fm/seth-hensley/subscribe --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/seth-hensley/message

It started with I Kissed Dating Goodbye and went downhill from there. Ask anyone trying to date in their 30's and they'll tell you that yeah, what we taught about dating in youth group ended up with some pretty terrible results. This week we talk about why Christian dating is so stupid and how we can train the next generation to not be so awkward on the dating scene.Follow us on social:http://instagram.com/jonathan_caronehttp://instagram.com/ericw712https://www.tiktok.com/@jonathan_caronehttps://www.tiktok.com/@businesscoachericShow theme song: High School - 90's Kids See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Greg and RD investigate “Purity Culture” and its effects on the lives of Christians in the past and present. Greg mentions a previous episode on the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast. Greg and RD discuss Joshua Harris's appearance on the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill as well as his controversial book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.Greg and RD reference the book “Every Man's Battle”   Greg of course references Romans 3:23 - 26   You can find Fellowship Church's position papers here. For more information on this podcast, visit podcast.fellowshipknox.org  You can also e-mail questions or topic ideas to offstage@fellowshipknox.org

Recently, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill (a Christianity Today podcast that looks into why Mars Hill church met such a quick demise) released a bonus episode. In the episode, host Mike Cosper spent time looking at how Mars Hill's pastor, Mark Driscoll, and Joshua Harris, the I Kissed Dating Goodbye author and former Sovereign Grace Ministries prodigy, had many similarities, despite having wildly different personalities. But then, because Harris no longer identifies as Christian and considers himself to be “deconstructing,” Cosper spends the final 20 minutes talking about deconstruction. So Melanie asked Katherine Spearing of Uncertain Podcast and Tim Whitaker of The New Evangelicals to join her in analyzing his points and examining why evangelicals and ex-evangelicals are having polar opposite reactions to it.Follow Katherine on Instagram (@UncertainPodcast) and on Facebook (Tears of Eden).Follow Tim on Instagram (@TheNewEvangelicals) and Twitter (@NewVangelicals).If you enjoyed this bonus conversation or any other episodes, please consider leaving us a rating and a review

“We eroticize our pain to make sense of it. We sexualize our brokenness.” - Andrew BaumanOn this edition of Restoring the Soul, Michael welcomes Andrew Bauman, author of The Sexually Healthy Man. Now, you may have grown up in the 90's during the height of the True Love Waits movement, accompanied by Joshua Harris' bestseller, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Many of the ideas perpetuated by this culture were infused with fear and shame, offering no practical help or guidance in equipping young people to become healthy sexual human beings. As a result, shame accompanied any thoughts around sexuality; with guys trying to white-knuckle purity and falling short over and over again. Leaving them with feelings of self-hatred and hopelessness. Andrew hopes his brand new book will serve as the guide - providing comfort and clarity to those who find themselves in a similar struggle for sexual health. The essays in the book are not only for men but also for women who want to understand what healthy sexuality can look like in a partner. Speaking of women, you may remember Andrew's wife Christy as she was a guest on a September 2020 podcast called The Theology of the Womb. Definitely something worth checking out.Andrew has graciously provided us 2 copies copy of The Sexually Healthy Man that we'll send to a randomly selected listeners. All you need to do to qualify is log into Apple Podcasts and write a review of Restoring the Soul. Be sure to listen to next week's podcast for an update on the winners.In this podcast, we hope you will discover:How to engage with honor instead of objectification.For us to become whole, for us to become sexually healthy, we need to become embodied.What we believe is not what we say. What we believe is how we live.You cannot look at pornography and be an authentic man at the same time.