Not Allowed to Die

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As a therapist I have only one rule: you are not allowed to die. On this podcast I will answer questions about therapy, mental health, coaching, or anything else folks want to pick my brain about. I bring 20 years and over 1000 clients worth of experience

Daniel J Maigler


    • May 27, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 23m AVG DURATION
    • 181 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Not Allowed to Die

    Life advice from AI?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2025 12:45


    In this brief episode Mariska and I share our thoughts on using AI to get life advice. More importantly we put out the call to ask listeners to write in to dmaiglerlcsw@gmail.com to tell us what kinds of questions you ask AI and how you decide which AI to use.

    Mother's Day Blues

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2025 15:31


    In this episode Mariska and I talk about several clients who have struggles with finding joy on a day celebrating family and Mothers in particular.

    How to tell a 4 year old his Father died

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2025 19:50


    In this episode Mariska and I unpack hard conversations of talking about death with small children and some victories both for former client and the incredible feeling for a therapist when a client breaks through shame and shares their trust.

    Wiley Coyote is a bad example

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2025 18:02


    In this episode Mariska and I talk about what to do when someone you care about has run off a cliff and refuses to look down because they don't want to face reality and drop. How to help them see reality and hopefully have a softer landing.

    bad example wiley coyote
    Are you lazy or recharging?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2025 19:20


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss helping clients determine if their avoidance of life and issues is a healthy pause or something that might be building negative inertia to becoming their healthiest self.

    Mind Matters Podcast Collaboration

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2025 53:04


    In this episode Mariska and I are guests on the Mind Matters podcast where hosts Ben and Kabeer ask us questions about managing mental health challenges as a teen, and give us a chance to talk about Paws for Patrick.

    Perks of Being a Wallflower endorsement

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 25, 2025 18:12


    In this episode Mariska and I talk about the incredible book Perks of Being a Wallflower and why I'm taking my kids to a museum about lynching for spring break.

    Is 30 min enough for a therapy session?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2025 21:34


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss how I decide which clients can do 30 min sessions and also the challenges of collaborating with other providers (eg. couples counselors and psychiatrists).

    Is being Trans a delusion take 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2025 22:36


    Once again Mariska published a podcast without listening to make sure it was correct. This is the real episode where Markisa and I vent our frustration about a conservative social worker mischaracterizing trans people as if they are delusional just for existing.

    Is being Trans a delusion?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2025 19:42


    In this episode Mariska and I try to stay professional as we react to a podcast where a social worker implies that being trans is a delusion. Spoiler alert: It's not.

    Hard truths: when your partner is F@*&ing other people.

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2025 19:42


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss when therapists need to call their clients out and share hard truths with them, even when we know the clients may not want to hear it.

    Dan on Social Work Bubble Podcast

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2025 36:27


    Mariska and I were guests on the social work bubble podcast to talk about ESAs.

    A day in the life of a DCFS worker with DaMonique

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2025 42:16


    Mariska and I were overjoyed to have Team Maigler Hall of Famer DaMonique back on the show. She works for the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services in helping to connect children and families with resources. This was a really enlightening conversation about the help DCFS can provide as opposed to the negative cliches that people think of when they hear about Child Protective Services.

    The ethics of reporting families to child protective services

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2025 21:33


    In this episode Mariska and I cover some of the ethical challenges a therapist faces when deciding whether or not to report a case to DCFS. I review a situation a young therapist I am supervising shared with me.

    Mental Health Confidential on Trevor J. Brown Show

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2025 20:50


    This is my segment on the Trevor J. Brown show where we respond to questions from his listeners about mental health challenges or dilemmas. Don't worry, Mariska is still by my side even when I record with Trevor.

    Simply Bee and Paws for Patrick ESA webinar

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2025 22:16


    Audrey Grunst from Simply Bee and I partnered up to answer some questions about Emotional Support Animals. Mariska wasn't present for this one, which may explain why I may be less than perfect in my delivery. We realized there was one question we didn't answer so we tacked it on at the end.

    Take a risk in therapy

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2025 20:10


    In this episode Mariska and I talk about the power of taking risks in a therapy session by trusting your therapist with emotional challenges that are hard to talk about.

    Is this the last time....

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2025 18:23


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss how to deal with the odd grief feeling we get when we think we might be experiencing our last time with a place, activity, relationship, etc....

    dysmorphia sweatshirt, and should we leave our friendship messy

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2025 16:02


    In this episode Mariska and I talk about how different siblings mental health presentation can be, the book No Cure for Being Human by Kate Bowler, and whether or not we should go out of our way to clean up misunderstandings with friends and co-workers if we were not the one that cause the issue. No Cure for Being Human - Kate Bowler

    Am I being too stoic?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2025 6:48


    In this briefest of episodes I share a question raised in my own therapy session about whether my pro-stoicism mindset can have some negative repercussions and lead to creating anxiety. Mariska and I also encourage you to watch the movie Emilia Perez. This is a strange but powerful film which is worth watching but hard to describe without giving too much away.

    Should therapists keep secrets from clients?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2024 19:58


    In this episode Mariska and I reflect on the year gone by and the changes we hope to see in the year to come. We discuss existential angst and the ethics of when therapists should and shouldn't do with "secret" information they learn about their clients from other sources.

    Mental Health Confidential on Trevor J. Brown Show

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2024 26:22


    Hi, This is an episode of the Trevor J. Brown show which I had the pleasure of being a guest on where we answer listener mental health questions. We will be doing it again in January so you can send questions to me or to Trevor.

    What if you're not ready?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2024 17:59


    In this episode Mariska and I explore some scenarios (getting back into dating while grieving a past relationship, a memorial service for a loved one, birth, graduation, etc...) that people may not feel like they are ready for and how to decide if you should give it more time or take the leap.

    How Dan Chooses a therapist take 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2024 17:27


    2nd attempt to publish this one. In this episode Mariska and I break down what we learned from our Spotify Wrapped, about the podcast and how we will use that to change the pod for 2025. In addition, I talk about how I will have my first therapy session this coming week and how I went about choosing a therapist for myself.

    How Dan chooses a therapist

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2024 0:05


    In this episode Mariska and I break down what we learned from our Spotify Wrapped, about the podcast and how we will use that to change the pod for 2025. In addition, I talk about how I will have my first therapy session this coming week and how I went about choosing a therapist for myself.

    How do I recognize a healthy connection?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2024 19:19


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss the difficulty some of my clients have in recognizing healthy friendships and romantic relationships because most of the relationships they have had thus far were anything but healthy. So we explore some of the things we can look for that are unhealthy and healthy in a variety of different types of connections.

    Sexual deviance or healthy kink take 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2024 19:23


    mariska and I address the trust it takes for clients to explore their sexual questions and concerns in therapy without fear of being judged. We tried to put this out on Tues and had tech difficulties so crossing our fingers/Paws for this one.

    sexual deviance or healthy kink

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2024 0:05


    In this episode Mariska and I reflect on the trust given by clients in therapy who talk about their sexual questions and desires.

    How to reason through a panic attack

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2024 18:23


    In this episode Mariska and I take you through how I have been coping with physical (aka somatic) manifestations of anxiety and ways to reason through them.

    Coping with uncertainty

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2024 19:45


    This episode is being released on election day 2024 and we know we will likely have several days to several weeks of uncertainty ahead of us. In this episode Mariska and I discuss some concrete techniques of dealing with all sorts of uncertainty you may be facing in your life.

    Will and Harper review, and media recommendations.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2024 14:17


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss and recommend the incredible documentary Will and Harper on Netflix. Watch Will & Harper | Netflix Official Site We wish every person who had questions about Trans people would watch this. Warning it will trigger a lot of feelings, many of them sad and distressing, but very much worth a watch. We also reference Nanette: Watch Hannah Gadsby: Nanette | Netflix Official Site This one can be much more triggering so make sure you are in a good mind state when/if you watch it. and Stutz: Watch Stutz | Netflix Official Site This is just an incredible doc about the power of therapy and relationship when it is done correctly. and finally for some silly fun we recommend The Spitballers Podcast: Spitballers Podcast – The funniest comedy podcast of all time. – A funny podcast by three buffoons who make another successful podcast.

    Why do we play with fire?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2024 16:23


    In this episode Mariska and I break down some of the hidden benefits of self sabotage and putting ourselves in a position where things may explode.

    MAGA is bad for emotional health and how clinician bias impacts treatment.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2024 18:52


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss the challenge of advocating for issues you care about when that will lead to potentially revealing your political bias to clients. How to think about making sure clients still feel safe with you if they do not agree with your political world view. As the episode title makes clear, Mariska and I are concerned about Trump and the impact of MAGA meanness on society. We feel that this is not just a political issue but a mental health issue, but we also feel uneasy about taking such an open stance knowing that it will alienate some people.

    Graphic sexual discussions in therapy?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2024 26:17


    In this episode Mariska and I break down some thoughts from a conversation I had with two young clinicians during their supervision about how to handle it when a client is sharing their story in explicit detail.

    Lets Get Angry about Harassment of Women

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2024 20:00


    In this episode Mariska and I vent our frustrations about the street harassment and difficulty with accepting no for an answer that many of our female clients have been dealing with lately.

    When to challenge your client's beliefs in session

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2024 17:55


    Mariska and I debate whether or not to let clients believe in a flat earth world.

    Why do I keep unblocking him?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2024 17:01


    In this episode Mariska and I explore why one of my clients keeps unblocking and reconnecting with the guy who assaulted her.

    When are you too connected?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2024 19:43


    In this episode Mariska and I explore if I am addicted to fantasy football and when people have an unhealthy connection to objects or even the ways they view themselves.

    anxious generation review and related thoughts

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2024 21:59


    Mariska and I recently listened to the audio book version of the Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. We give you a bit of a summary and my thoughts on some of the authors points.

    Addicted to your dog?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2024 18:39


    In this episode Mariska and I discuss the potential for a person to get become overly dependent on their pet. I know it sounds shocking but Mariska insists it is possible. I also mention my new group for therapists helping neurodivergent clients negotiate relationships: Therapists Helping Neurodivergent Clients Navigate Relationships | Forum (joinforum.com)

    Stop judging who won the break up

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2024 16:54


    In this episode Mariska and I talk about judgement. When we judge and how we our tendency to compare ourselves can impact how we view the end of a relationship.

    Could you be on the Autism Spectrum?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2024 24:38


    Mariska often wonders if she is on the Autism spectrum, or if she is just anxious and has some sensory issues. In this episode we start off talking a bit about service animals and then we discuss some things to think about when we are talking about possibly being neuro atypical.

    Procrastination tips

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2024 18:13


    Mariska and I discuss our troubles with procrastination and some tips to get you moving.

    Family Chat about Intimate Partner Violence

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2024 24:09


    In this episode Mariska and I reflect upon a fantastic opportunity we had to debrief and plan with a family as they discussed intimate partner violence and how to think about it with regard to the past and the future. I also reference a cool opportunity for veterans to attend a sacred soldier retreat which introduces different modalities into healing from the folks at psychex: Home | Sacred Soldier Finally I remind people who are interested in working with me on the college search process that they can sign up here: Anxiety Free College Planning for Families of 11th-12th Graders | Forum (joinforum.com)

    Don't pass me the ball!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2024 17:02


    In this episode Mariska and I reflect on feelings of worthiness and how we can give off subtle cues that we don't think much of ourselves. I throw in a plug for my group on Forum: Anxiety Free College Planning for Families of 11th-12th Graders | Forum (joinforum.com)

    No libido before marriage and how it feels when a client flakes

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2024 16:16


    In this episode Mariska and I push through my sinus infection to talk about how it feels when a client flakes out on a session and how many of my clients are dealing with a lack of sexual connection before their marriage has even started.

    Mental Health Confidential with Trevor J. Brown

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 26:02


    Trevor has Mariska and I on his podcast to talk answer listener questions about dealing with knowing about a parent's affair how to pick the right college and more.... Here is a link to his podcast: The Best Of The Trevor J. Brown Show — Inherent Dream If you want to work with me in the group for parents of 11th and 12th graders seeking to take the anxiety out of the college search here is the link to that: Anxiety Free College Planning for Families of 11th-12th Graders | Forum (joinforum.com) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/daniel-j-maigler/message

    The benefits of hating your body

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2024 19:42


    In this episode we talk about Father's Day and how it feels for those (like Mariska) who do not have a relationship with their father. We also discuss the back door benefits of hating your body and how that can "protect" you from taking risks. At the end you get a plug for my group starting 8/4/24 for parents of juniors and seniors entering the college process: https://app.joinforum.com/partnergrouppage/anxiety-free-college-planning-for-families-of-11th-12th-graders-gpid1800 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/daniel-j-maigler/message

    Dan gets a coaching session

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2024 21:08


    Mike Overlie of Authentic Mike (dogsandmen.com) Took me through a coaching session so I reflect on that, and the harrowing challenge of being a professional providing therapy when your dog releases toxic gas (sorry Mariska but the people need to know!) Also, I announce a group I am running for parents of 11th and 12th graders on college planning starting 8/4/24. Spread the word! • Group Name: Anxiety Free College Planning for Families of 11th-12th Graders  • Link:  https://app.joinforum.com/partnergrouppage/anxiety-free-college-planning-for-families-of-11th-12th-graders-gpid1800 I hope to see you there! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/daniel-j-maigler/message

    The Inner Game of Tennis review, it will change your life.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 19:55


    Mariska and I review Tim Gallwey's The Inner Game of Tennis. The title of this podcast is a bit misleading as the review won't change your life, but the book will. We also talk about my group, starting 8/4/2024 Anxiety Free College Planning for parents of 11th-12th graders. https://app.joinforum.com/partnergrouppage/anxiety-free-college-planning-for-families-of-11th-12th-graders-gpid1800 Click and share the link to join. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/daniel-j-maigler/message

    Where to vent about your partner

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2024 24:41


    Mariska boycotts this pod until we get more positive reviews! In this episode we talk about where and how you can vent about your partner without it impacting their relationship with other people in your world. While that is our main point we start off with a good bit of information about Emotional Support Animals, and of course, Paws for Patrick. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/daniel-j-maigler/message

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