Sex for Smart People*

Dear Listeners: SFSP, in this form, is ending. BUT! It will be evolving into a new podcast in about a year!! Rather than being about sex and love through a lens of our collective liberation as SFSP has been, the new podcast will be about our collective liberation at large (transformative justice! consent culture! dismantling […]

Rev. Alba Onofrio shares about their journey to embracing relationship and family beyond default scripts/labels and their work as spiritual director of Soulforce, holding authenticity and intentionality as paramount, fighting for the lives of queer and trans people everywhere! We collectively address listener questions including: How do I raise my son when I see the […]

We found that our queer communities, friends, and families pulled together in some fucking beautiful ways to support one another in the moments and weeks after the massacre at Pulse. We wanted to create something that shows our intense sense of community, shows how we love at the same time as mourn and rage. So […]

We are honored to be joined by actress/activist/founder-of-TransTech Angelica Ross. Hear why she believes most people are in relationships for the wrong reasons and that relationships are best when thought of as prolonged period of discovery. We address the misunderstanding of the term sex positive as pressure to have more sex than you want to, […]

The surprising stuff, the mundane stuff, the way folks felt like they were always out or felt like they never came out at all: A moving/many-splendored collection of coming out stories that break from the most traditional narratives. This is the first of what will be many more episodes that feature stories from YOU, dear […]

Dylan Marron! It’s Dylan Marron! Writer/performer Dylan Marron joins us for a wildly multi-faceted conversation about various and sundry things including: In a longterm relationship, what do you do when you feel like you are not connecting at all anymore and that talking about things gets in the way of your already-too-infrequent sex life? When […]

Liberating conversations about sex and shit from the extremes of knee-jerk shame response and gratuitous grotesqueness is not easy. So we teamed up with our friend Shawn “The Puru” Shafner for this crossbroadcast with his podcast! We collectively address questions including: What if you are grossed out by anal sex but your partner is really […]

Healing from trauma, holding compassion and rage at the same time, transformative + restorative justice in response to sexual assault, the just world fallacy, the sexiness of holding nuance and complexity, noticing who we can communicate with based on our positionality, ways of holding safe space for a person who has experienced trauma, the beauty […]

How do we hold rage about abuses of power AND ALSO allow space for honoring an inspiring queer icon? How might we sit in uncomfortable nuance in order to transcend the shouting match that followed Bowie’s death? Aida Manduley joins us to discuss how celebration and critique need not be mutually exclusive, through a lens […]

We are honored and grateful to be joined by the multi-talented, many-splendored Shakina Nayfack, who shares about her most recent show, Post-Op, and her deep commitment to community and care in art-making. We collectively address conundrums from listeners, including: what do you do when you want to cultivate a more compassionate point of view toward trans people, but it feels […]

We sometimes stumble and/or feel overwhelmed (and maybe you do, too?) when trying to talk about gender and bodies in the most inclusive way, so we are reaching out for help! In this (brief!) Briefs episode, Stephanie shares about a time when she was wrong, and she examines the defenses that came up in her […]

Dossie Easton (hero of ours, trailblazer in the realm of authenticity/communication/sexual freedom, author of several books including “The Ethical Slut”) joins us, and we are so freaking honored!! We discuss how to find out what your needs and desires are in the first place, the value of making time to explore about learn about sex, […]

We miss you! Where the hell have we been, you ask? Check out this mini episode to find out. Plus, we’ve got a short interview with Chelsea Downs of Amorous Revolt (a queer/kinky camping extravaganza happening in late July). We’ll be officially back in September, and until then, as always, you can let us know […]

BDSM guru, activist/performer/writer/woman of many talents: Mollena Williams shares about her renewed hope in love in a full-time master/slave relationship, and her journey with owning her power as a submissive. Boundaries and communication in consensual power play! The many grey areas of consent! The many many complexities of power play and race/class/gender/etc/etc/etc! We collectively address […]

OKCupid’s Chief Product Officer, Jimena Almendares, is at the front lines of queering the OKCupid algorithm! And we were fortunate enough to get to talk to her in depth on this episode about how OKC has recently incorporated non-binary gender identities and sexual orientations beyond gay and straight! She also generously shares about her epic […]

Hey Smart People, if you are new to this podcast, we recommend that you start here. In this episode, recorded live in front of an (amazingly sexy) audience at the Bowery Poetry Club, we share our personal stories, our mission statement and why we are passionate about doing this podcast. We also address queries from […]

Love is a verb. Queer is a verb. Ally is a verb. Super wise actvist/writer/poet Janani Balasubramanian is our guest of honor this time. Janani shares a bit about their journey, the importance of slow-hard-awkward conversations & quiet acts of solidarity, and how activism doesn’t feel like a choice for them. We grapple with the […]

On catcalling, Jian Ghomeshi, female orgasm, Gamergate, and more! In this *doozy* of an episode, we are honored to be joined by Miri Mogilevsky. We address listener questions including: Is there something wrong with me if I never have an orgasm without my my clit being stimulated? How do you navigate when you like being […]

2 guests! So many juicy quickies! Badass writer/comedian Emma Tattenbaum-Fine and sex ed superstar Francisco Ramirez (he’s back!!) join us to throw down about various and sundry things including: sexuality is not a luxury, making decisions based on love (not fear), sex tips from porn star Stoya, taking time to prioritize sex, facts versus feelings, […]

Somatic sexuality educator Dr. Charlie Glickman of MakeSexEasy.com (and co-author of “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure”) joins us to discuss his super wise insights on relationships and the nuances of relationships to relationships. He shares some moving stories about helping clients move past sexual shame through hands-on coaching. We collectively address listener questions including: […]

Spoiler alert: we are hugely in favor of lube. Avital Isaacs, burlesque performer and education coordinator for Babeland NYC, is our guest of honor. She shares about her journey in getting comfortable with her own body, her views about bachelorette parties, and how she taught her friends about the clitoris at age 11. Where is […]

The extraordinary sex/relationships geek Reid Mihalko (reidaboutsex.com) is our guest of honor this time! He throws down some great wisdom about how to “date your species”, how to discover what works for you and how best to communicate about what works for you, how to find your “win-wins” and your “dealbreakers”, how he thinks we […]

Dear SFSP Community, in order to make this thing sustainable in the future, we need to reach out to you! Please listen to this (informative! entertaining!) seven minute message to learn about some super simple ways you can help. And/or check out patreon.com/sexforsmartpeople. Plus, Actual Fox News! Dave’s morning brain! Invisible tote bags!

A whole crowd of smart sexy people and our guest of honor, the ridiculously vibrant and kind Francisco Ramirez, join us for a live-taping/party at 3B Brooklyn. We start with exciting additions to our mission statement! And then we talk to Francisco about his work as a sexuality consultant with MTV and the U.N., and […]

Our dear friends Bobbi and Steve Siglbaum (lifelong activists/educators and all-around amazing people) join us to share their story of nearly 49 years of marriage – what sustains them through hard times, what they feel is most important in a longterm partnership, what they tell their grandkids about love and sex, and much more. Respect […]

Casual sex can be difficult to talk about rationally because there is so much stigma around having too much of it or, on the flip side, not enough of it. Our guest Dr. Zhana’s research looks empirically at the connections between casual sex and well-being so we can transcend those stigmas and make more clearheaded […]

Urban Erotika pioneer and poet Mo Beasley is our guest of honor this time. Mo talks about the significance of erotic art and shares about his journey with catalyzing and building Urban Erotika since 2001. He also talks about his activism around complex ideas of manhood and confronting homophobia in communities of color. We collectively […]

Kink-focused sex worker/educator/sex worker rights activist Sabrina Morgan joins us to unpack society’s discomfort with sex work, sex work vs. human trafficking, sex work as work, and to share stories of helping clients step into their own power. We collectively address listener questions about porn, Stephanie super extra geeks out about feminist porn, and we […]

We really dig into ideas about honesty and the complexity of gender identity with our dear old friend Salty Brine. Salty is a hoot and a writer/performer/educator extraordinaire. Is honesty ALWAYS the best policy- even when being honest might hurt someone? What to do when you want to have sex but shut down when faced […]

3 guests! So many quickies! Avital Isaacs (burlesque performer/education coordinator at Babeland Brooklyn), Salty Brine (writer/performer/educator) and Adjoa Tetteh (activist/sex educator) join Stephanie and Dave to throw down about various and sundry things including: what straight white feminist dudes are thinking, cheers to finesse and playfulness in sex, the Nine Taoist Thrusts, casual hook-up etiquette, […]

On cunnilingus, jealousy, and fear of the unknown (but not necessarily at the same time). Polyamory/pleasure scholar Antonia Levy joins us to discuss her research into the polyamory movements in the U.S. and Germany, the trouble with poly-normativity, and the complexity of using “polyamory” as a label. We address listener questions about getting comfortable with […]

Drumroll, please… religion, racism, AND pronoun usage!! LGBTQ rights organizer/researcher Cole Parke, who embodies empathy so fully it is practically a superpower, joins us to share about their experience organizing between queer communities and communities of faith, and also about how they work against hate and violence toward LGBTQ people in Uganda, Russia, and elsewhere. […]

Sex therapist/psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Aaron is our guest of honor this time. Hear his and our perspectives on things like: What to do when you feel less ravenous about sex than your partner feels? Is it really honestly possible to feel coziness/familiarity and also sexiness/mystery/excitement in a long term partnership? How do you begin to […]

Happy 2014! Meet the fabulous sex columnist Twanna Hines, of funkybrownchick.com. We discuss the line between fun flirtation and creepiness, we celebrate the beauty of human connection in general, and we talk about the distinction between open relationships and cheating (spoiler: it’s all about the honesty and communication). Also: role play! There is an actual […]

We are joined by super wise professor/researcher Laura Portwood-Stacer to discuss the complexity of the idea of the personal as the political, including some unpacking of the hefty concepts of heteronormativity and sex positivity. Where’s the line between a political identity that you should be out about and a bedroom practice that you should be […]

Badass sexuality educator/activist Adjoa Tetteh joins us to discuss ways of shifting the culture around talking about safer sex, how to love your WHOLE body (even and especially when it’s hard), what to do if you find our your spouse has recently had unprotected sex with someone else, what the fuck is actually up with […]

The vibrant/wise/internationally-acclaimed theater artist Taylor Mac is here to talk with us about loving and queering and celebrating, oh yes! Sometimes making the bed when you don’t want to is an act of love. Communication does not have to be dramatic! What to do when you have been out with someone a few times but […]

Our guest is the super epic badass, Diana Adams, who is a lawyer for non-traditional families’ rights and longterm activist for sexual freedom between consenting adults. Diana shares about her work in helping people create intentional partnerships and families and gives a sort of State of Sexual-Freedom-Rights Address. Questions/discussions about what to do when you […]

Hey Smart People, if you are new to this podcast, we recommend that you start here. In this episode, recorded live in front of an (amazingly sexy) audience at the Bowery Poetry Club, we share our personal stories, our mission statement and why we are passionate about doing this podcast. We also address queries from […]