Podcasts about Tenderness

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Today's sermon is for Pentecost 2 (A) and is titled Learning Tenderness. It was written by the Very Rev. Thelma M. (“Nikki”) Mathis and read by the Rev. Danáe Ashley. Sermons That Work is an offering of the Episcopal Church's Office of Communication. For more free resources, including sermons, Bible studies, bulletin inserts, and more, visit episcopalchurch.org/sermons. We would love it if you'd rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast on your favorite podcasting platform – and while you're at it, share it with a friend!

A newly qualified doctor Charlotte Buttercase, has said she was subjected to repeated sexual harassment and intimidation while studying medicine at the University of Manchester. 32 other female students have now come forward to report similar abuse. Charlotte tells Nuala McGovern why she has waived her right to anonymity and written an open letter to the university to request a formal review of sexism within the School of Medical Sciences. More than 1000 women have added their signatures. Sprinter Hannah Brier holds the Welsh 100m record, and last week became the fastest Welsh woman of all time. She broke her country's long-standing 200m record running it at 22.79 seconds at the Stratford Speed Grand Prix in London. But that time was just a few days after the Team Wales deadline for selection for this summer's Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. She explains to Nuala how missing out on the chance to compete at the games pushed her to prove herself all over again. Is Marilyn Monroe still a name that needs no introduction? Fans were marking her 100th birthday yesterday so we ask why her legacy still endures almost 64 years after her death and what she means to women today. Nuala is joined by Ellen E Jones, a film critic and the presenter of a new radio documentary on BBC Sounds called 'Bombshell: Five Faces of Marilyn Monroe', and Sarah Churchwell, professor of American Literature at the University of London and the author of 'The Many Lives of Marilyn Monroe'.Tenderness and Rage, and the juxtaposition of these contrasting emotions is at the heart of a new exhibition at the Wellcome Collection. It explores the history of HIV from the AIDS epidemic of the 80s and 90s to today. We see stories of protest and of tender care through photography, film and objects belonging to those who faced these illnesses when so little was known about how to treat or survive them. Angelina Namiba was one of them. She was diagnosed with HIV in 1993, and at first, thought it was a death sentence. Presenter: Nuala McGovern Producer: Helen Fitzhenry

Encore podcast of a previous episode - Continuing through the Book of Matthew. Starting at chapter 20, verse 29. This message was given by Messianic Rabbi Frank Davis during our Saturday Shabbat Service on September 2, 2017. >> NOTE: Turn the sound up.

Father Greg Boyle has spent nearly four decades alongside gang members in Los Angeles, founding Homeboy Industries from the poorest parish in the city. "An employed gang member may or may not go back to prison, but a healed one won't ever go back to prison." In this episode with Mark Labberton, Boyle reflects on what heals a life inside the world's largest gang-intervention program. Together they discuss tenderness as the highest form of spiritual maturity, kinship as the true goal (with peace and justice as byproducts), why "the poor evangelize you," why demonizing collapses on both political sides, and the mental-health roots of homelessness and gang life. Episode Highlights "The whole incarnation was necessary, not because of sin or salvation even. It's just, for me, it's God's love needed to become tender." "I think that's the singular agenda item for our God is just to look at you and say, 'Ah, you're here.'" "No kinship, no peace. No kinship, no justice. No kinship, no equality. It's how it works." "An employed gang member may or may not go back to prison, but a healed one won't ever go back to prison." "There aren't good guys and bad guys, you know? And God doesn't see it that way, as hard as that is for us to conceive." About Greg Boyle Father Gregory Boyle, SJ, is an American Jesuit priest and the founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and re-entry program in the world. A native Angeleno, he served as pastor of Dolores Mission in Boyle Heights from 1986 to 1992. In 2024 he received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, along with the California Peace Prize and Notre Dame's 2017 Laetare Medal. He is the bestselling author of Tattoos on the Heart, Barking to the Choir, The Whole Language, and Cherished Belonging. Learn more and follow at homeboyindustries.org and @homeboyindustries on Instagram. Helpful Links and Resources Cherished Belonging (2024): https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Cherished-Belonging/Gregory-Boyle/9781668061855 Tattoos on the Heart: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Tattoos-on-the-Heart/Gregory-Boyle/9781439153154 Homeboy Industries: https://homeboyindustries.org Father Greg's bio: https://homeboyindustries.org/our-story/father-greg/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/homeboyindustries L'Arche International: https://www.larche.org Show Notes Native Angeleno; Catholic, family-of-eight upbringing in Mid-Wilshire Why the Jesuits: hilarity, prophetic witness, anti-Vietnam protest "There is no difference actually between what God wants for you and what you most deeply want" Bolivia, 1984: liberation theology and the indigenous Jesuits "The poor evangelize you" Assigned to Dolores Mission—poorest parish in LA, highest concentration of gang activity "A vocation within a vocation within a vocation" The decade of death, 1988–98, and burying kids Birth of Homeboy: school, "felony-friendly" jobs, nine businesses "Nobody thinks anything up. You evolve." Tattoos on the Heart and the discipline of paying attention "I had been drowning in the shallow end of my own thoughts… Homeboy taught me to stand up" Tenderness as the highest form of spiritual maturity—L'Arche "God's love needed to become tender"—a different theology of incarnation "Ah, you're here"—the singular agenda item of God Kinship as God's dream; peace, justice, equality as byproducts "No kinship, no peace. No kinship, no justice. No kinship, no equality." "There aren't good guys and bad guys… God doesn't see it that way" Homelessness rooted in despair, trauma, mental illness "An employed gang member may or may not go back to prison, but a healed one won't ever go back" LA County Jail as the largest mental institution in the world Friendship as the secret diagnosis—and the primacy of relationship #HomeboyIndustries #GregBoyle #ConversingPodcast #RadicalKinship #Tenderness #Compassion #FaithAndJustice #GangIntervention #Jesuit Production Credits Conversing is produced and distributed in partnership with Comment magazine and Fuller Seminary.

Pastor Ryan delivers the final message in the Jonah series.

This episode of Clemenz With a “Z” started with a story that honestly stopped me in my tracks: a pastor introducing another pastor from the pulpit by mocking his rental car as “a little gay.” But the deeper I sat with it, the more I realized this wasn't really about a Prius, or even one awkward church moment. It was about the systems so many men have been raised inside, systems that teach us to fear tenderness, police closeness, and perform strength at the expense of real connection. In this episode, I explore masculinity, emotional safety, church culture, brotherhood, purity culture, and the quiet loneliness so many men carry underneath the performance. I also reflect on my own experience growing up in the ICOC, the complicated beauty of male friendship inside high-control environments, and the example my father gave me of a different kind of manhood—one rooted not in fear, but presence. If something in this conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM over on Instagram at @clemenzwithazpodcast. If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there's a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link's in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going. And if you're looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That's where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don't always make it onto the podcast. And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know. This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

Maybe intimacy in your marriage doesn't look the way you thought it would. Maybe there are physical limitations. Health challenges. Pain. Insecurity. Lack of desire. Aging. Shame. Or just a deep sadness that things don't feel the way they "should." And maybe, quietly, you've wondered: Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with us? Are we just broken? This episode is for the husband or wife who feels discouraged, different, or alone in this area of marriage. Let this be an encouragement that intimacy is more than what we often make it out to be. It is about unity. Tenderness. Connection. Loving your spouse well in the ways you are able. If you feel unseen or forgotten by God in this area, this is a reminder that God sees you. You are not forgotten. You are not beyond hope. And you are not strange or weird for wanting help in this area. This may be a real suffering in your marriage—but suffering is not proof that God has abandoned you. He can use even this tender, painful place to grow humility, love, compassion, and deeper unity. God bless you! Love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you're ready to take the next step in healing your marriage, schedule a free Clarity Call. Get some insight into the health of your marriage and what the right next step is for you. PPS - For more information on the accessories mentioned in today's episode, please visit our website. PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "The biggest marital struggle that I was feeling was a lack of connection within physical intimacy. There was also a lack of trust and feeling safe to genuinely be ourselves in different areas. It was hard to communicate without the other person taking offense, switching the subject or shifting the focus, etc. and it just made it hard to grow in a lot of areas...[Because of DYM], I've been able to truly shift my priorities to just focus on myself in the terms of how can I love my wife the way that God intended me to...[Intimacy has] been happening so much more than in the past, but more importantly, it's been meaningful, fulfilling, and it's being enjoyed without fear of strings being attached or tension from expectations..."

In this extended Q&A special, Krishna Das offers powerful insights on navigating the turmoil of the human experience through devotional practice.This week on Pilgrim Heart, Krishna Das offers down-to-earth advice on:The name of God as an echo of our own beingTuning ourselves into the mantra Replacing greed and anxiety with compassion and kindnessThe delusion of self and otherDepression and falling into the trap of self-obsessionBuilding up the strength to let go through daily practice Coming back home to ourselves, to our breathThe lingering connection we have to those we have lostLooking for love within ourselves instead of outside ourselves"Depression expresses itself in many different ways. In general, through regular practice, we obsess about ourselves less and less. Over time, how we feel retreats into the background. It's no longer the most important thing in your life. You wake up ‘How am I now? How am I now?'. All day long, all life long, we are always judging how we feel. As time goes on, you don't give a shit about your state of mind anymore. You're here now, which is where we are.” –Krishna DasAbout Krishna Das:Layering traditional Hindu kirtan with instantly accessible melodies and modern instrumentation, Grammy nominee Krishna Das has been called yoga's “rock star.” With a remarkably soulful voice that touches the deepest chord in even the most casual listener, Krishna Das – known to friends, family, and fans as simply KD – has taken the call-and-response chanting out of yoga centers and into concert halls, becoming a worldwide icon and the best-selling chant artist of all time. His album ‘Live Ananda' (released January 2012) was nominated for a Grammy in the Best New Age album category.KD spent the late '60s traveling across the country as a student of Ram Dass, and in August 1970, he finally made the journey to India, which led him to Ram Dass' own beloved guru, Neem Karoli Baba, known to most as Maharaj-ji. Krishna Das now travels the world sharing his kirtan practice and wonderful stories of his life, of Maharaji-ji, of his life on the Path and discusses bringing chanting into our lives through retreats and workshops. To date, KD has released 15 well-received albums, most recently Trust in the Heart released in October 2017.MORE INFORMATION and OFFERINGS VISIT: https://krishnadas.com/ KRISHNA DAS ON SOCIAL: FACEBOOK: facebook.com/KrishnaDasMusic INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/krishnadasmusic YOUTUBE: / krishnadasmusic X: @krishnadas #KrishnaDasSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Pastor Wayne Van Gelderen shares biblical truth that will bring hope and comfort in these uncertain days. May we draw closer to God through this time and impact those around us for eternity. https://fallsbaptist.org https://baptistcollege.org https://www.theegeneration.org https://ontovictorypress.com If you'd like to support this ministry - https://fallsbaptist.org/give/

Can we talk about that moment right before your period when your boobs hurt so much you don't even want to move, and then suddenly, they're fine?I used to just ignore it. Like, okay, this is just part of PMS, whatever. But once I started paying attention, I realized it's actually not random at all.It's your body giving you a lot of clues about what's going on with your hormones, your gut, your stress levels, and even how your body is handling everyday life.In this episode, you'll hear:What that super sore → suddenly fine pattern is actually telling you about estrogen vs. progesteroneThe kind of everyday habits that seem harmless, but quietly build up over your cycleWhy your gut, liver, and even how often you go to the bathroom play a bigger role than you thinkThere's something important here that many of you overlook: you're managing symptoms instead of the root issue. And that's the key difference. Next time, you can either ignore it or take the opportunity to understand it. Go listen and see what I mean.Breakfast GuideNourish Tracker - Discount code: HAPPILYHORMONALMore about progesterone & estrogen: E6, E185, E195Book a FREE Hormone Strategy Call with meGrab your Happily Hormonal Quick Start GuideNEED HELP FIXING YOUR HORMONES? CHECK OUT MY RESOURCES:Hormone Imbalance Quiz - Find out which of the top 3 hormone imbalances affects you most!Join Nourish Your Hormones Coaching for the step-by-step and my eyes on YOUR hormones for the next 4 months.Send us a text with episode feedback or ideas! (We can't respond to texts unless you include contact info but always read them)Simply Nourished Cycles Podcast TrainingDon't forget to subscribe, share this episode, and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more women looking for answers.Disclaimer: Nothing in this podcast is to be taken as medical advice, please take informed accountability and speak to your provider before making changes to your health routine.This podcast is for women and moms to learn how to balance hormones naturally in motherhood, to have pain-free periods, increased fertility, to decrease PMS mood swings, and to increase energy without restrictive diet plans. You'll learn how to balance blood sugar, increase progesterone naturally, understand the root cause of estrogen dominance, irregular periods, PCOS, insulin resistance, hormonal acne, post birth-control syndrome, and conceive naturally. We use a pro-metabolic, whole food, root cause approach to functional women's health and focus on truly holistic health and mind-body connection.If you listen to any of the following shows, we're sure you'll like ours too! Pursuit of Wellness with Mari Llewellyn, Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark, Found My Fitness with Rhonda Patrick, Just Ingredients Podcast, Wellness Mama, The Dr Josh Axe Show, Are You Menstrual Podcast, The Model Health Show, Grounded Wellness By Primally Pure, Be Well By Kelly Leveque, The Freely Rooted Podcast with Kori Meloy, Simple Farmhouse Life with Lisa Bass

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. IWe aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com In this Stage 2 AIRM episode, Ryan and James dive deep into one of the most tender, high‑risk, and high‑reward parts of EFT: working with attachment injuries in Stage 2. Building on de‑escalation work from Stage 1, they explore how to move past “talking about the injury” into fully opening the scene of the wound so that real limbic revision can occur. Ryan shares how his own disorientation around when and how to work with injuries led him to train intensively with George and Karen, and how doing solid attachment‑injury work actually taught him how to do all of Stage 2. James opens up about his personal learning edge—how hard it can be, as a caregiver, to invite vivid pain into the room—and what helps him stay present instead of pulling back. Across the episode, they unpack: Why “you cannot change what you cannot open” How to set a platform for attachment‑injury work that stabilizes both partners The art of scene work: evoking 5–7 concrete sensory cues to move from summary into live experience How to hold the injured partner's pain open long enough for the offender to truly feel the impact Why clients are “not fragile, they're too stable”—and what that means for our stance as experiential therapists They also connect this process to AIRM, the EFT World Summit, and the broader map of Stage 2—reminding us that deep injury work is not a side path, but a powerful way into the heart of restructuring the bond. Key Teaching Points from This Episode 1. Why Attachment Injury Work Belongs in Stage 2 Most clinical conversations get stuck in “What do we do with injuries in Stage 1?” Stage 1 is about stabilization and de‑escalation, not “doing surgery” on the injury. Once there is enough stability and safety, Stage 2 is where we go to the heart of the injury to create lasting change. For Ryan, learning to do good Stage 2 attachment injury work was how he learned to truly do Stage 2 at all (vs. just using its concepts). 2. “You Cannot Change What You Cannot Open” Effective injury repair requires fully opening the synaptic memory system of the event. Therapists must help clients move from summary (“this thing that happened back then…”) to live, embodied experience in the room. If the pain stays in the background, it acts like a “boogeyman”—emerging unpredictably and hijacking the bond. The task is not to “make them hurt,” but to give the pain that already lives in them a chance to be explicitly on stage, in a safe, co‑regulated frame. 3. Scene Work: How to Open and Stay in the Injury Ryan describes his scene‑based approach: Set a clear platform (framing why you're going here, for both partners). Open a specific scene of the injury and stay there (often 20+ minutes, “circles and circles”). Focus primarily on one partner's deep experience at a time. Use 5–7 concrete physical/sensory cues to shift out of summary and into experience: What do you see? What do you smell? Temperature on your skin? Textures around you? What's happening in your body? In your eyes? “You can't revise what you can't open”: the deeper and clearer the scene is evoked, the more powerful the potential for revision. 4. The Therapist's Own Edges and Nervous System James shares that, from his caregiving/medical background, watching vivid pain come alive in session can be hard on his own nervous system. The temptation is to protect clients from feeling too much, but: We are not creating pain. We are bringing existing pain into shared awareness so it can be held and transformed. Therapists must train themselves like firefighters: Trust your training Trust your equipment (the EFT map, Tango, AIRM) Trust the people you've trained with A healthy fear of what could go wrong is important, but must be balanced by a clear vision of what is lost if we never go there. 5. “Right Dose at the Right Time” Drawing on Bruce Perry's work: therapy requires the right dosage at the right time. Do not do this kind of deep, evocative surgery in Stage 1—that would be an overdose on an unstable system. In Stage 1: We treat the injury (acknowledge, validate, build some safety), But we do not do full surgical repair yet. In Stage 2: The partner is more available to co‑regulate and respond. The bond is more ready to sustain deep limbic work and revision. 6. Clients Are Not Fragile—They're Too Stable Ryan's provocative teaching line: “Your clients are not fragile. They're too stable.” They are stable in their woundedness and rigid organization: Rigid protective strategies Rigid negative self/other models As experiential therapists, if we treat clients as too fragile to go into these places, we: Collude with the stability of the injury Miss the opportunity for deep restructuring We must hold both: Tenderness and strong alliance (like a good mom with a third grader) Relentlessness in going after the dark places 7. Two Core Goals of Attachment Injury Repair (AIRM) Ryan summarizes the two main goals of attachment injury repair: The injured partner sees their pain reflected back in the eyes of the injurer. Not just verbal apologies The limbic system needs to register: “You are with me in this pain now, not talking me out of it.” Often assessed by asking (carefully): “Do you feel like your partner really gets the depth of this?” A felt sense of confidence that, given the same circumstances, this would not happen again. This is not cognitive reassurance alone. It's a body‑based sense that something fundamental has shifted in the bond and in the injurer. When both are present (often over multiple sessions), the injury can be considered functionally repaired, and the couple can return to the previous stage of EFT work. 8. Platform Building: How Ryan Sets Up the Work Ryan starts with a platform conversation before opening the scene: To the offender: “I'm not doing this to make you feel bad. You deserve not to have this event be the story of you.” Frames the work as a way to retire the “Scarlet Letter” and integrate the event into a larger, more hopeful story. Uses metaphors like sleeping on an unpinned grenade—life is too precarious if the injury is never addressed. To the injured partner: Names that a part of them is still stuck in that place (delivery room, the moment they discovered the affair, etc.). With their permission, he proposes spending several sessions there to go find and bring back that part of them. This platform: Clarifies what they're doing and why. Re‑establishes consent and collaboration. Begins stabilizing the offender's shame and the injured partner's fear before going deeper. 9. The Five “People” in the Room Ryan offers a helpful image: during injury work, there are effectively five people involved: The therapist The adult injured partner The adult injuring partner The younger/earlier version of the injured partner in the scene The younger/earlier version of the injurer in the scene The work is about going after all of them in a redemptive way—bringing those divided versions back into connection and coherence. 10. From Scene Work to Tango Move 5 and Back to the Map Once the scene is open, Ryan sees the work as “old‑school Step 5”: Deep affect assembly in the injured partner Clear enactments to the offender Sculpting the offender into A.R.E. responsiveness (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged) Helping the injured partner take in that responsiveness He often uses multiple, small enactments rather than rushing to one big one: Micro‑processing present‑moment shifts “What do you see in their eyes right now?” “What happens in your body as they reach for you?” Crucially, after deep injury work: Don't get so disoriented that you abandon the EFT map. Ideally, you return to where you were (e.g., late withdrawer re‑engagement) and complete the rest of Stage 2: Full withdrawer re‑engagement Pursuer softening 11. Using Yourself and Accepting Disorientation Ryan normalizes that, in late Stage 1, Stage 2, and especially Stage 2 injury sessions: He often leaves feeling completely disoriented (in a good way). It takes a minute to re‑orient, use the bathroom, splash water on his face. This disorientation is a sign that: He has fully entered the memory with them. He is using himself deeply as an experiential therapist. He distinguishes this from burnout: Burnout was more present when he tried to work these places without scene‑based experiential depth. Deep scene work, while intense, is actually more effective and less demoralizing than spinning in summary and argument. 12. Honoring Clients and the Mission of EFT Therapists Both highlight: Clients as major teachers—it's worth explicitly thanking them at times. Sue's stance: even at the end of her career, she was “excited to go up the hill and see what my clients are going to teach me today.” They frame trainers (and this podcast) as trying to be like: Military commanders who can't go on every mission, but must equip the troops well: Best training Best equipment Clear mission The closing tone: Deep appreciation for therapists who are willing to go to dark, painful places with their clients. Reassurance that with the map, the tango, and the AIRM frame, you are not walking into those places alone. If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

In this episode, I'm joined by author Lee Stackhouse to discuss Diary of a Damsel Dame, a dark psychological horror novel about obsession, projection, love, and violence.We talk about Delilah Vale as both predator and wounded inner child, and why readers can feel repulsed by her while still wanting to protect her.Lee opens up about writing from trauma, using the diary format to capture a secret inner life, and building a character who feels disturbingly human rather than symbolic.We also get into trigger warnings, female villainy, toxic relationships, Substack serialization, book cover design, and the emotional cost of writing from personal truth.Along the way, Lee shares stories about collaborative horror projects, surviving abusive workplaces, living in the woods in Vermont, and why Gordon Ramsay is the perfect creative palate cleanser.Lee Stackhouse LinksWebsite / Main Hubhttps://leestackhouse.substack.comInstagramhttps://www.instagram.com/lee__stackhouse/TikTokhttps://www.tiktok.com/@lee_stackhouseGoodreads (Author + Book)https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/61171497.Lee_Stackhousehttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/243238238-diary-of-a-damsel-dameBuy Diary of a Damsel DameAmazon: https://a.co/d/02bML2lTBarnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/diary-of-a-damsel-dame-lee-stackhouse/1148695486Support The Dark Mind Podcasthttps://www.patreon.com/c/thedarkmindpodcast

Meeting Jesus: Wednesdays Evenings In Luke With Dr. Clint Archer. Tonight's Sermon Is "Exquisite Tenderness: How To Be Christlike In Suffering" From Luke 23:34-43. Sermon Outline - 3 Responses In Suffering So We Will Be Like Christ In Trials: 1. Forgive Ignorance Like Jesus 2. Forebear Insults Like Jesus 3. Foresee Intimacy With Jesus

Week 4: Invite Soothing Love & Tenderness into Your BodyA 5 weeks journey into deeper introspection & liberationInviting the Fiery Horse energies by building a solid foundation to your meditation practice and reaping the positive rewards in your life!

Homily for 5th Sunday of Lent Yr A

A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Tonight on APEX Express Host Miko Lee speaks with Restorative Justice Educator and Author Tatiana Chaterji about her work on the power of tenderness. Tune in!   Tatiana Chaterji's website Show Transcript [00:00:00] Opening Music: Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It's time to get on board the Apex Express.   [00:00:44] Miko Lee: Good evening. I'm your host Miko Lee, and tonight we are speaking with Tatiana Chaterji about Restorative Justice. Restorative justice is a movement and a set of practices that stands as an alternative to our current punitive justice system. It focuses on people and repairing harm by engaging all the impacted folks working together to repair that harm. RJ is built off of ancient indigenous practices from cultures around the globe, including Native American, African, first Nation, Canadian, and many others. So join us with Tatiana Chaterji.    [00:01:23] Tati, who are your people and what legacy do you carry with you?    [00:01:28] Tatiana Chaterji: Thank you for the question, Miko. The first thing that comes to mind, my people are the people we're, we're, we're coming up on the cusp of a possible teacher strike, and I'm thinking about workers and the labor, movement and comrades in my life from doing, work as a classified school worker for about a decade.   [00:01:49] Then my people are also from my homelands. The two that I feel very close to me are in Finland, from my mom's side, and then in Bengal, both India, west Bengal, and Bangladesh. And my people are also those who are facing facing the worst moments of their life, either from causing harm or experiencing harm as a survivor of violence.   [00:02:11] I think about this a lot and I think about also the smaller conflicts and tensions and issues that bubble up all the time. So my people are those that are not afraid to make it better, you know, to make it right. And I carry, oh gosh, what legacy do I. I wanna say first kind of the legacy of the Oakland RJ movement that really nurtured me and the youth that I've encountered in schools and in detention on the streets in the community. [00:02:41] Youth who are young adults and becoming bigger, older adults and, and, and also elders. To me. So sort of that's whose legacy I carry in shaping the. Society that we all deserve.    [00:02:55] Miko Lee: Thank you for answering with such a rich, well thought out response that's very expansive and worldly. I appreciate that. Can you share what brought you to this work personally?   [00:03:07] Tatiana Chaterji: Sure. As a young activist involved in Insight Women of Color against Violence and aware of the work of Critical Resistance, and I had a pretty clear politics of abolition, but I didn't. Really think that it impacted me as personally as it did when I was in my early twenties and I suffered a brain injury from a vehicular assault, a hit and run that may have been gang affiliated or, a case of mistaken identity. My recovery is, is, is complicated. My journey through various kinds of disabilities has shaped me. But I think the way that I was treated by the police and by the justice quote unquote justice system, which I now call the criminal legal system, it because there was no justice.   [00:03:52] I sort of don't believe that justice is served in the ways that survivors need. yeah, I really, I got very close to the heart of what an RJ process can do and what RJ really is. I got introduced to Sonya Shah and the work of Suha bga and I was able to do a surrogate victim offender dialogue and then later to facilitate these processes where people are kind of meeting at the, at the hardest point of their lives and connecting across immense suffering and layers of systemic and interpersonal internalized oppression.   [00:04:26] Just so much stuff and what happens when you can cross over into a shared humanity and recognition. It's just, it's just so profound and and from that space of healing and, and, and compassion, I've been able to think about. Other ways that RJ can look and have sort of been an advan, what is it evangelical for it?   [00:04:51] You know, I think that because we don't see these options, I, I, because I knew people, I was able to connect in this way and I would just shout out David uim, who's the one who told me that even if I didn't know the person who harmed me, that this was possible. People so often give up, they're just like, well, I have to feel this way.   [00:05:10] I have to just deal with it. Swallow the injustice and the lack of recognition. Just sort of keep going. Grit your teeth. I think we don't have enough knowledge of what's possible and so we harden ourselves My name is Tatiana Chaterji. I'll be reading my flash essay split. Before I didn't know what a traumatic brain injury was. My tongue had not curled the letters TBI together shaping the sound of nightmare. I had not heard the clipping of staples from a scalp fused after it was split to release pressure.   [00:05:46] They said, removing the right cranial bone flap, not conceived of the skull as giving pressure, a living organism of its own, a piece of its stored in a freezer for months after being removed in the dead of night. Attempted murder, vehicular assault under a blanket of fog. This city, these hidden stars.   [00:06:07] Never concerned myself with science or medicine or the mechanics of survival, the filaments of me unbreaking encased as they were in a thick clay from where I stood young and forceful, standing or walking or sitting, because I wanted to willful, bold, joy, stubborn, had not needed to wait for the all clear discharge orders that released me to a world of indifference.   [00:06:33] Before I didn't know life without its sense. Its tastes that the olfactory nerve stretches behind the eyes, vulnerable to bruising or severing from an impact to the head that you won't know until you know an extended game of dice that ultimately rolled no permanent damage. You will smell again, but with loss.   [00:06:52] Unfamiliar associating Jasmine for coffee, revulsion to orange comfort and cinnamon. Before I had not been the target of any physical or lasting harm. Had not thought that victim or survivor would ever describe me. Had not organized a vigil for rape survivors as I did while unconscious dreaming, waking up to pelvic bruises, believing I was one of them.   [00:07:19] The brain injury bisected my life until I realized it was one in a string of paper cuts that stop hurting eventually, that there will be other moments that change me, that there are many ways to slice a life when I pull her to my chest. A sticky, slimy worm, six pounds, four ounces, eyes closed, mulling to find her place on my chest for the first time.   [00:07:44] My chin against the wet mess of hair. When he carries me over the threshold into our suite at the Wise Owl Hotel in South Colta, garlands of sweet Jasmine adorn my hair and my henna painted arms drip with gold. When the drama therapist asks the group to simulate the attack rushing towards me so I can do what I wished I had done, run away.   [00:08:11] It returns my power and I own what's mine Fingertips. Throbbing with the life they can grasp. Sirens through the dark machines. Beeping into a week of unconsciousness, awakening to wonder and madness. One toe at suicide's brink, recovering in this outpatient patient treatment program for depression and anxiety.   [00:08:31] All of it here. The breath and meat and sky. When I walked through the gates of San Quentin State Prison for the first time, shuttering at the cold, heavy clank permanence at my back. The man in front of me breathes nervously in his starched blue uniform, gently meeting my eyes to say, I've never met a real victim before.   [00:08:53] Thank you for coming. He is, of course, a crime victim, but also an offender, and there isn't room to be both in this place. I am here for the penultimate session of Victim Offender Education and Dialogue where the men have met for over a year now, each week to learn empathy and build rigorous self-reflection muscles to take accountability.   [00:09:18] They are ready to present their crime impact statements and to listen to a panel of survivors. None of us directly harmed or were harmed by each other. We are all surrogates. This then is the greatest innocence, the widest Gulf I've crossed before, sitting with men who have killed, who have touched this threshold, this fever wound of life and God and pain.   [00:09:44] My eyes were full of dew. I was blind to the logics of violence, the way the toxins seep under and you merge with its poison that you become dehumanized. Brutal. A mentality of war. The hurt echoing at a different pitch. Copper pebbles in an empty cave. Before I sat alone in confusion, untangling the threads of my trauma with what I knew from a peaceful life of privilege.   [00:10:12] In that first circle at San Quentin and every subsequent circle, I uncloak this ache, hear from men who explain the numbness, danger in every corner under the shadow of each day. I let them hold my story, share its load. Listen to theirs, my witness body lifting off bits of the weight they carry. I welcome insights previously unimaginable.   [00:10:39] Receive apologies I didn't know I needed. It's as if the lights switch on all at once, a brightness. The dialogue melts the isolation of my suffering. Its icy blanket of shame, allowing me to see what had been there all along, not monster. A human did this to me, broken alone, and suddenly I have permission to heal for 10 days.   [00:11:07] Baby birds remain in the nest. Their mother has built. I spent 10 days in a coma from within the protective circle. My family had drawn around me for the entirety of my two plus decades on earth. Infant wind, bone creature before flight 24 years collapsed to 10 days in the coma nest so I could bear free the weight of the universe.   [00:11:33] Soaring my mind at ease. A fresh page appears the dotted line of life's flashpoints waiting to blink on forward cuts and selves.   [00:11:46] Miko Lee: I just finished your new book. Wow.    [00:11:48] Tatiana Chaterji: Oh you did?   [00:11:48] Miko Lee: Yes I did.    [00:11:49] Tatiana Chaterji: Yay!   [00:11:50] Miko Lee: Yes I did. Everyday Restorative justice, moving from crisis Response to positive school culture. Big title, weighty title. It's so much, it's so rich, it's so beautiful. It has so many different elements for, um, for a classroom teacher, an educator, a community organizer. And it has not just like lesson plans, but amazing quotes and rubrics.   [00:12:15] Even rubrics. 'cause you could tell your classroom teacher with real experiences, which is like the land I live in. Stories and Spanish translations. So tell us how this amazing book, what, I mean you've been doing this work for years, but what inspired you to collect this into book form?    [00:12:33] Tatiana Chaterji: Oh, thank you Miko for reading it. That is the biggest gift ever. I want to shout out Heather Manchester Anita Vva and Evelyn Aquino. They wrote a book a few years ago on inter international Intergenerational Restorative Justice and really youth and adult partnership. And in that book, they featured the work that I had been doing at Fremont here in East Oakland.   [00:12:57] And I think that was the first time when I was like, wait, maybe we are really doing something special that deserves to be in a book. You know, like, what is this secret sauce? Or what is the, what is the combination? Things that we're doing that's really working that we want to share out with the world.   [00:13:14] And and so, yeah, so fast forward a little bit of time. There's, I, I've actually now left the district. I've had more time to reflect on what that time was and what it was we were doing. And I had this invitation with Teachers College Press to, uh, to put it forth and really make it legible for classroom teachers who might not have always felt like they were invited into this work for a variety of reasons.   [00:13:41] Miko Lee: Well, one, I think that's fascinating that it took somebody else writing about your work for you to say, Ooh, look at this. I think that's fascinating. Uh, more to that later, but I'm wondering I think many classroom teachers already do this whole, oh, let's come up with our rules for the classroom. It's like respect.   [00:13:58] I mean, it's a lot of the principles around restorative justice, but actually implementing a whole system feels. Overwhelming or like you were just saying, they don't have access to it, so how does this book give them access?    [00:14:14] Tatiana Chaterji: Uh, well, and I, I wanna clarify from the top that I'm actually, I am, I have served in the role of a classroom teacher, but that's not my training or background. And that I've, I've actually seen this schism or this kind of divisiveness between people who are in youth organizing, where I've, that's my background. Youth organ organizing, youth leadership development, sort of student and youth services. Vis-a-vis classroom educators. And I was straddling both of these roles as a classified employee doing restorative justice alongside case managers, the school security officers who are now called culture keepers in Oakland Unified, and and administrators as well.   [00:14:56] And I was partnering with teachers to figure out classroom systems. I ended up co-teaching and then solo teaching a class within the Mandela academy for Law and Public Service. That continued until when that school, when that mini school closed down. But I learned so much from classroom teachers. The educators that I was working with are amazing and they are the original. RJ people, I would say, but they, they are not positioned that way and they aren't often recognized or given the time and space to do circle and to do that culture building in their classrooms because they have any number of deliverables and test you know, requirements that they are responsible for.   [00:15:37] And so what I really saw was a kind of a sidelining of their work into the teaching and then the culture work happening in other pockets and primarily held by people who are not in front of the kids day after day dealing with. Management and communication and all the things that happen when you're bell to bell responsible for so many different combinations of kids and communicating with their parents and making sure everything gets synced up. So I think I really wanted to honor their labor and and open the door. And, and, and I'm sure others have done it as well, but I just felt it wasn't open enough. It wasn't a, a sort of a strong enough like, here, you already do this. Why? What if you could take it a step further or here are some things that are legible for the systems and the, the tasks that you are responsible for, that you have to be responsible for. Let me create it in your, in your language. And really with great humility from my own position is, has not having the same training.    [00:16:41] Miko Lee: Thank you for pointing that out. And those titles of, you know, the classroom educator, the community organizers, the youth development person, people often like separate them, but really it's about the creating the best culture for the students is what we're talking about.   [00:16:56] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah. We should be on the same page.    [00:16:58] Miko Lee: Yeah.    [00:16:58] Tatiana Chaterji: And I think very often we are pit against each other and there's sort of, you know, being in this violent, extractive society that that's sort of what happens. But it shouldn't happen, in fact. Right. And we should be more hand in hand working together when there's been this smooth handoff between different roles on a campus. That's when it's just the best. And I want to, I hope to see that more.    [00:17:19] Miko Lee: Yeah. Can you talk a little bit about the story behind the, forward to the book? You write in a dedication to a young woman, and can you share a little bit about that story?    [00:17:30] Tatiana Chaterji: Oh gosh. Shamara Young her memory lives within me and with so many people in the Fremont community in Oakland. She was a student leader who was in the very first iteration of this RJ class, this restorative justice class that I taught for ninth graders, which really is the inspiration for this book. And she was killed shortly after we had just come back from distance learning from the pandemic, and it really shocked our, our entire community, an incident of road rage, and just the excess of the excess availability of weapons, you know, and, and firearms.   [00:18:07] So just wanted to honor her legacy, honor honor other students and young people who've been stolen from us, from violence here at home, and also in any number of imperial projects that, that. US government is responsible for just really seeing the interconnection between people's struggle and the loss of life is tragic all the time. And the loss of a student is a particular pain that I just, I wanted to name because it is, it is so tender and other educators, youth organizers, parents, people who've known young ones to, to die in that way. It's just something, a wound that stays and definitely motivates me to, to do this work.   [00:18:49] My name is Tatiana Chaterji. I'll be reading my Vielle, a poem called Losing Shamara. When he tells me she's gone, the air leaves my lungs losing shamara. The adults are loud in their grief. Students' eyes down to forget their own stolen ones. Circles the forced ceremony of blood on false tongues, homage to her memory, her story without relief.   [00:19:15] When he tells me she's gone, the air leaves my lungs. There's enough rage in the streets, enough guns, too many per person drowning dreams. All the beef students' eyes down to forget their own stolen ones. We fend for ourselves, feeding off crumbs, unmet needs of volcano. The lava, a sharp reef. When he tells me she's gone, the air leaves my lungs. [00:19:41] Healing hearts. Now the school spins as she hums her voice and my mind a faint shaking leaf when he tells me she's gone, the air leaves my lungs losing shamara. The adults are loud in their grief.   [00:19:57] Miko Lee: Well, thank you so much for grounding the book in that story, because I think there's something about talking about doing that work, but keeping in mind a real person and the impacts of our violent society and what's going on, but also how we keep moving on. So I, and    [00:20:13] Tatiana Chaterji: to say that, you know, Shaara really embraced this. She already, like so many of us and so many young people, she knew how to communicate through difficult situations, through drama and the gossip and what people are posting. And I saw that clarity and that maturity in her and wanted to just instill this book with that wisdom that, that young people often know how, already how to navigate these complex and oppressive systems. And that if we can offer a spotlight to them or something that's substantive and really honors that intelligence, they're, we, we could learn a lot.   [00:20:49] Miko Lee: Speaking of drama and learning a lot. I know that you have a background in theater and theater of the oppressed, and I'm wondering how you bring that work into your RJ work.   [00:21:00] Tatiana Chaterji: Oh, well that's a big passion of mine. I have not done it as much in the classroom space as I might have liked. But it's it when, when there is the invitation or the, the, the container to really go deep and create stories. Using theatrical forms and, and our bodies, this, this magic of image theater, it can be so powerful.   [00:21:22] The bulk of my work in that area has been inside of prison and doing programming in that highly violent system where there is generative, juicy, beautiful art to be made. And I just shout out all of the incarcerated artists that I've worked with who helped to shape those spaces and do performance in the prison where, where there was kind of like a witnessing and a participation across the audience and the performers who are on stage. That is that that gives me a lot of just light and hope and yeah. Good stuff.    [00:22:02] Miko Lee: I wonder if you could share a bit for folks that are not as familiar with rj uh, restorative justice work, and particularly at school sites, if you could share about the carpet of community building, what is that all about?   [00:22:15] Tatiana Chaterji: Oh yeah. Well, in the book I talk about the standard model of three tiers of restorative justice using kind of a triangle diagram where the, the bottom third, it's not even quite a third, it's the biggest chunk of the triangle, but that bottom layer is tier one. And this is not just in restorative justice, a lot of people will be familiar with this, where tier one is kind of universal. It's supposed to be for everybody. It is supposed to work for everyone, kind of the way that you shape the culture and the conditions of a learning environment.   [00:22:48] Tier two is when things go wrong or rather. People might need more support, more individualized attention in an RJ context, that's often if there's conflict or a pattern of, uh, behavior that is harmful. And then tier three is at the very top where it's the fewest people. But the idea that maybe somebody needs to be removed in a typical school that would be through.   [00:23:15] Expulsion or suspension or even juvenile detention and that they are in a restorative justice framework, they are welcomed back with intention and clarity on what that means. Doing something that's called a cosa, a circle of support and accountability that looks at the ways that a young person can succeed and holds them to account with a lot of love and care.   [00:23:39] So that triangle is great. Kind of, but it also could be Reconceptualized as a carpet of just interconnecting reasons for meeting in Circle. And I really wanna credit one of my mentors and friends, Kamoa Johnson, who helped me to think about this as a sort of, there's so many reasons to get, come together and circle that none of them should be prioritized more than the other. Or rather that every single thing should be grounded in the strength of the community and building relationships. So if I'm meeting with someone because they did something. Wrong, quote unquote, you know, that's also an opportunity for relationship. And there should be, uh, a piece of us getting to know each other as human.   [00:24:23] That is part of that as well. And yeah, so I think like just thinking about the carpet you can think about the different kinds of circles that people practice. That is all happening as community. That community building has to happen first and alongside all of these other interventions. So it's almost like the two top layers of the triangle would actually be situated in the bottom triangle or the bottom little chunk. And that bottom chunk would actually be a circle    [00:24:50] Miko Lee: or just reconfiguring the whole idea of a triangle.   [00:24:54] Tatiana Chaterji: Right, exactly. Yeah.    [00:24:55] Miko Lee: Yeah. So that we are all on one level space working in collective, uh, communication.    [00:25:02] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah, and I think I might've explained it in sort of a confusing way. You'd have to really look at the book to see the, the reconceptualization, but I wanna emphasize that The reason that this framework and this redesign is so crucial is because people jump into rj, they jump into a circle and they don't do the groundwork to prepare everyone, including themselves to be there. But in a school environment, there's any number of toxic elements that students are absorbing, that teachers are absorbing, that we're all kind of just surviving with, you know, we're hungry, we're tired, we're overstimulated, the lights are too bright. We didn't get enough sleep. There's distractions on our cell phones.   [00:25:44] There's so many reasons that prevent us from sitting with each other and listening and being willing to learn from what another person might say or what their experience might be. And so if we can just go. Backwards and start with authentic connection and community building and skilling people up on how to listen. Then we'll be more successful. Any number of people who have tried to do a circle and it fails, and I count myself in that group as well. It's not. All your fault. In fact, it might not be your fault at all. There's so many reasons why a circle will flop, and I think the assumption that I make is that people are not going to bear their souls to me or be vulnerable to me right off the bat.   [00:26:32] And maybe they won't really ever. But that there are steps that can be taken to soften the hostility, the inherent hostility or harshness that is in our society, and to kind of slowly work towards a, just a, like a, a warmth. A warmth where people feel like it's not dangerous to talk about the icky stuff and the uncomfortable stuff, and that we have to do it very slowly and in a container where students and really anyone can relearn the part of ourselves that we have to strip away when we grow up.   [00:27:11] Miko Lee: So I feel like you're talking about multiple things. One is creating a safe environment for the young people to be able to speak what's on their heart, what's on their mind, and, and to recognize that everybody's coming from such a different space. Even in one school. Even in one classroom. It reminds me of that theater game the moment before. Like you never know what happened to that person the moment before they came to that circle.    [00:27:34] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah.    [00:27:34] Miko Lee: And so it's just to be very conscious of that, that, uh. All of the environment that they're coming from.    [00:27:41] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah. Conscious of it and accepting of it, but also not accepting that that's it. Like if someone is showing up and they're on their phone or they're kind of listening in a superficial way, they give a a cheap answer to a question that that's not all they're capable of. And I think we know that and educators would know that, but they might not have the tools to allow the student to go deeper or to, or even the time in their day in the semester to allow that growth to happen. And so I spotlight this experiment that we did at Fremont, which was 12 weeks long, and it rotated three times.   [00:28:18] It was an intro to the Media Academy, introduction to that. Architecture academy, and then it was a restorative justice class. And in those 12 weeks from the start to the finish, I noticed an incredible change in the student's ability to connect with each other, to feel empowered, to take, uh, sort of shape what they understand and shape what they care about and what they might wanna advocate for. And it was an intensive laboratory. I was super strict about phones. You know, I was, it was like, that was the place where you had to listen, learn how to listen, which was, in fact, the, the, my biggest, deliverable for them was that they should know how to listen and that they, of course, knew how, but this was a way to practice it further.   [00:29:02] Miko Lee: Can you name a few other things in that 12 week session that were able to foment this, uh, community?    [00:29:10] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah, I think because it was a non-academic space, I was really able to prioritize how people are listening and how they are, uh, speaking or communicating. So everybody has a different comfort level with speaking out loud. And being in circle can feel extremely intimidating if you're not someone who likes to talk in front of people or likes to have the spotlight on you. So through the course of the class, there were, there were smaller activities to practice, people's public speaking, and even reflecting and then articulating what it is that you wanna say and practicing what does it mean to divulge something but not too much that you feel exposed.   [00:29:50] That skill, I think, is something that adults often take for granted, that we know how to evaluate a situation and shape our story correctly. And not all adults either, but it's something that for young people that is some that, that they can grow into that. Understand what they might wanna share that would be meaningful without making them feel too naked in front of their peers. So it's sort of like all of these dimensions of what are the pressures that they're feeling among this group of people? What feels comfortable to share? And when we got, when we broke into the more vulnerable and tender territory, it was pretty incredible to see and, and witness the shift in energy and how letting people's guards down could happen, like in a responsible way. I, in no way, am advocating for having students and encouraging students to open up about their trauma and then be let loose into the, to the world. You know, there are so many dangerous things that, that people are dealing with and having to say,    [00:30:53] Miko Lee: especially our social media world.    [00:30:56] Tatiana Chaterji: Right, absolutely. That's a whole other terrain. But to say that there is perhaps more possible than what we accept. So, so we kind of, I think we give up on like, well, you know, people are gonna shut down. They already are shut down and they're guarded, and boom, that's it. Let's just roll with it. Let me give them as many worksheets as possible, but I'm not gonna ask them to talk out loud because that's too much and    [00:31:23] Miko Lee: watch a bunch of movies.    [00:31:25] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah. Well, I mean, teachers would tell me that they were so grateful that this space was being held because of what I think they understood as like a, a naturally therapeutic environment. And then of course, it's crazy because it wasn't always great. Sometimes it, you know, it didn't, I couldn't contain the space as well as I wanted to, but then students would say that I was the only teacher that would. Require them to speak out loud. Um, and so, and I didn't do    [00:31:48] Miko Lee: what of the whole day? That was the only class?   [00:31:51] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty easy for some of them, you know, some of them and not all of them, but like, it's, it's remarkable to, to understand that education can happen that way. And increasingly with remote learning and with everything being sort of through this technological interface, it is possible to pretty much not communicate out loud. So then what does that mean? We are losing so much of what we're capable of.    [00:32:13] Miko Lee: Yeah. It's not giving voice to students at all. Literally.    [00:32:16] Tatiana Chaterji: Well, right. Yeah. Yeah.    [00:32:19] Miko Lee: I mean, you make me think of a couple things. One, when you talk about the public speaking, clearly that's where your theater training comes in, not just naturally to do the public speaking, but then I also, when you're talking about consent and what you're sharing and how much you're sharing of yourself, 'cause that can be very vulnerable for young folks, especially folks that are survivors. And I'm thinking about Dr. Danielle Allen from Harvard and her work around the youth participatory politics. Are you familiar with her stuff?    [00:32:47] Tatiana Chaterji: No,    [00:32:47] Miko Lee: she's amazing she, she has this whole theory about how youth should share, and one of her components is sharing, um, digitally what they wanna share about who they are in the world. But I was just thinking about these as you're speaking about how you're getting them to talk about who they are. And I'm wondering if you could share a little bit more about youth leadership and how that's part of the development of the program, how important that is.    [00:33:15] Tatiana Chaterji: Absolutely. Um, I have a quote from one of my favorite RJ comrades to BD Gibson where he says that anything a young person can do, they should do that. We should hand it over, you know allow for more scaffolded, kind of shared responsibility. When I think about from the beginning of a school year to the end, that, that there's kind of a, the teacher is, and the, or the youth worker, whoever's holding the space, is doing a lot of the work to, to teach the skills, to transfer, the skills, to mentor and empower or skill up the young people. And that through the course of the year, by the end of it, that the young people are taking it on, shaping it, and they're doing so. In collaboration with the adults. And that it is not so much just youth adult partnership, but that there's a, a sense of intergenerational ness even among young people.   [00:34:08] There might be two people on the same grade level, one of whom has been in a youth leadership program and already kind of feels confident about doing any number of things. And I and a and their peer who could learn from that. Or an upper class person and a younger class person or a recent graduate. Many of the teachers and staff at Fremont were actually alumni of the school, which was really powerful for students to see someone who had gone through those same hallways. I think that's all a, a, a piece of it.   [00:34:38] The other thing about youth leadership is that the model of restorative justice in schools that I'm grounded in and that I would say many of my people in Oakland are grounded in is peer leadership. So when students are leading circles, and not just leading circles, but also kind of having their ears to the ground and listening to what students are worried about, if there are social and political phenomena that are affecting students and staff, how, how can they shape the questions or the activities that might need to happen? And, um,    [00:35:12] Miko Lee: for sure they know what's happening way more than any teacher does.    [00:35:16] Tatiana Chaterji: Right. I mean, often or in a different way.    [00:35:18] Miko Lee: Mm-hmm.    [00:35:18] Tatiana Chaterji: And so to be able to invite their voice in a, in a, in a meaningful container that isn't tokenizing it, that isn't sort of celebrating them just for being young or oppressed. I mean, I see that a lot in, in, in the work of youth leadership even. But to sort of meaningfully integrate them, which also requires training them in various, skills. And that partnership and that kind of coming together and doing things as a community can be transformative for everyone involved. I mean, for the staff that I've worked with, not just at Fremont, but at other schools when I've had students that are leading a training in circle keeping, for example, that can be so magnificent because the teacher gets to literally learn from their students, which I think is a dream that many people already are already want to do.   [00:36:06] Miko Lee: Absolutely. I think that's true.   [00:36:08] Ayame Keane-Lee: We're gonna take a quick break from the interview and listen to Slow Fade by MILCK.   MUSIC   [00:40:26] That was Slow Fade by MILCK.   [00:40:29] Miko Lee: I wanna pull a little bit bigger and talk a little bit more about restorative justice for just a moment. You write in your book about this need for a cultural shift, a paradigm shift because we are living in a capitalistic, uh, you know punishment based world in that we have this whole prison industrial complex and in, in fact the education to prison industrial complex. So can you talk about the different questions that are asked that, that restorative justice uses versus re, re versus like.    [00:41:01] Tatiana Chaterji: retributive.    [00:41:02] Miko Lee: Yes. Cannot say that word. So talk a little bit about the difference in our current system, which is this punishment base versus a restorative justice based. What kind of questions are different?    [00:41:13] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah, definitely. Uh, uh, and, and to say that it's not just oppressive, capitalistic, it's also very transactional, that our relationships are not human. They're about just what people can get from them. And I'm seeing that just a lot. Um, but Howard Zer, I think is one of the people that I would credit with these contrasting questions in our current system, in, in sort of punitive and criminal or carceral spaces, the questions are who what law or rule was broken?   [00:41:40] Who broke it? You know, who's at fault? And then what should be the consequence? And often consequence means punishment or retribution. It means a payback because you broke a law. And in that system, the law or the institutions, right, is. Is is more important than the person and the victim or survivor is invisible.   [00:42:02] They are not even really of concern. And our, that's how our criminal legal system works. You don't really often have to consult a victim or a survivor around what they want to have happened because they literally don't matter. Their, their voice is taken away. It's the state of California versus the person who is accused of a crime vis-a-vis the person who's hurt or their mother, their community versus someone who, who has caused harm in a restorative approach.   [00:42:30] We ask. What the heck just happened? What, what's going on? You know who was harmed? Who else was affected? And what needs to happen to make things right? And that what needs to happen to make things right? Also includes who needs to do what. So it's going into the impact, the needs that arise from that impact, and then the obligations that. flow from there. So it's a really sort of, it's a more holistic and humanizing approach to situations that are complex. There's always a backstory, and that backstory isn't to justify the harm, it's to give the context.   [00:43:14] It's to understand how things happen. I have, I'm now a mom, I have two kids. If something's going on at school or if my child is blamed for something, I have to ask what prompted this kid to do the thing? I mean, when you're a parent, you really feel it quite closely, but it's there all the time. There's sort of, there's cycles that get played out in any number of of problems that we attend to.   [00:43:38] Miko Lee: Thank you for breaking that down so clearly. We're living in this time right now where the Epstein files are just being released and every day there's a different story in the news. And I'm just wondering for folks right now that may be triggered every time they're listening or reading or what, taking in the news, what are some RJ methods for coping with that?   [00:44:01] Tatiana Chaterji: My gosh, I'm one of these people that is triggered constantly and I just wanna give a shout out to all the survivors of, um, of child sexual exploitation, commercial sexual exploitation, and um, uh, sexual violence, all the, the, um, the predatory stuff that happens on the streets in my community and definitely at the schools where I've been. It is extremely. Unjust on the local level, and we're seeing it at these, at the scale, right? Of power. So blatant,    [00:44:34] Miko Lee: so big, so international, so wild.    [00:44:39] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah. So in terms of how can RJ help, I mean, I would say that there is such a lack of any kind of accountability right now for the harm doers for people who have caused harm. There's no, there's not, there's not, there's not punishment, right? If you wanna look at retributive justice, there's not sort of    [00:44:57] Miko Lee: no accountability.    [00:44:58] Tatiana Chaterji: There's no accountability, but there's no compassionate encounter with with people who have done harm either. I mean, the framework I guess I would offer is the social relationship window. Um, ol and waktel, Ted Wachtel, various people have reenvisioned it, Dorothy Ving, and if you get the book, you can see all that. So that legacy, but that we sort of, we hold people who are causing harm. We hold them with love, and we also hold them with with a clear structure and boundary around what's acceptable.   [00:45:28] And so we're not sliding into a permissive zone where where we just let it go and enable the behavior to happen. And we're also not trying to dehumanize people who have caused harm and only see them as as monsters. I, I don't know, miko when it comes to people with such. Positional power, privilege, and just impunity. I, I don't know if I would apply that to the, to the perpetrators, right, to the people who, who are responsible for such harm right now. Like, that's not the conversation that I'm interested in having. I think, yeah, I, I don't know. Maybe I'm messing up this question.    [00:46:02] Miko Lee: No, you're not. I's so complicated because as an abolitionist, you know, I don't want these. I don't want people to be incarcerated necessarily, but these are some hideous, awful people that are like, so how do, how do you like wrestle with that?    [00:46:18] Tatiana Chaterji: I think it's like the, there's individuals right, who cause harm, but I think the main thing is that there are systems that allowed this harm and are allowing and have continued this harm to happen. I,  [00:46:29] Miko Lee: and it's perpetrated. It's still going on.    [00:46:30] Tatiana Chaterji: Right? Right. So I think like it's really about dismantling these systems and, and shining the light on what is there that we don't always see because we are caught up in the interpersonal, right. And so much of conversations about oppression will get into interpersonal because that's what we see.   [00:46:46] Miko Lee: Mm-hmm.    [00:46:46] Tatiana Chaterji: So students and community members will feel that someone is racist because someone has made a comment or this, that and the other. They're not seeing the kind of racial capitalism, the structure of poverty and what's baked into our laws that are behind it. So I think what circle and what restorative justice spaces can do is for me as someone who resists.   [00:47:08] Racial capitalism and resists structural inequality and the existence of poverty and racialized poverty in the way that it is, that it is. I think it is a space for dreaming together, for, for identifying shared struggle. What are the common things that we're dealing with? A circle is really good because it breaks people out of isolation that they think they're grappling with a thing on their own, and actually it is shared by other people and perhaps everyone. [00:47:38] So then from that place of shared struggle, what do we dream that, could be different? And how do we, organize together? I see the healing component of storytelling and of channeling grief and rage as connected to action and, and strategy. So that's primarily what I would say. Thank you for that question, for this timeliness. Yeah.   [00:48:02] Miko Lee: I'm wondering what you want folks to understand after reading your book. What do you want them to walk away with?    [00:48:09] Tatiana Chaterji: I think I want people to maybe f feel a, a little bit more confident that they could to the heart of pain with students and with others in your life, that there are frameworks and structures or ideas that can really. Hold you and support you in navigating that hard stuff or that even to study it. Maybe I want people to be curious about how do people create justice? What is, what is healing based justice look like? What's possible? Let's study it together because it takes a lot of work. It's not apparent. Our media and Hollywood, they glamorize, you know, there's propaganda.   [00:48:58] There's just like a glamorous portrayal of vengeance and that humanity, we can have vengeance, but we can also have other things. And those things might be the ones that we, the, the healing based justice systems is what we want when it's representing our best selves and what could help us and future generations.   [00:49:17] So to walk away with a little bit of hope. To not throw away RJ because of your past experiences where it sucked. RJ often sucks because of how, because of any number of factors and that it doesn't, don't give up. Don't give up. It can be better. And it, and, and there's some things that we can all learn, including myself and any of my own mistakes, that there's perhaps, it's still worth fighting for and it's still worth trying, and that we can do it slowly with care, with intention, and to give that.   [00:49:51] Allowance that people aren't going to be always ready, and it's not their fault. They, that doesn't make them less good or smart or wise or politically, you know, savvy. It's that there's so much that we are working against all the time to, and, and our survival mechanisms are very toxic. We don't really treat each other well, and that's on purpose. In fact, we tear each other down and that's, how, systems are allowed to continue to exploit us. So, yeah, that's, it's kind of a mouthful, but maybe a little bit of that, like a little bit of inspiration to try things on.   [00:50:26] Miko Lee: Okay, I wanna go back. Can you give a breakdown of what copaganda is?    [00:50:32] Tatiana Chaterji: Oh, I mean, copaganda is what we all, I mean, I consume it certainly. It's like the, it's Paw patrol, it's my kids getting exposed to superhero dogs that are the police because they quote unquote save the day. So it's these stories that the police are going to help. And in fact, we should look for them. There was a one time at a story circle, this person was reading a book and the, and the refrain was, help is on the way. Help is on the way. It gets kept going through any number of crises. That, anyways, just to say that help is not always on the way, as many of us know from trying to seek police protection from harm.   [00:51:14] And that when it does arrive, if it does, that it can cause harm to us, that we can be the target of it, especially if we're disabled or marginalized in another way. So propaganda is so pervasive, but it's this idea that the police will will help us. And we'll keep us safe. And I know from personal experience, my students know that that's not always true. So then what is the alternative? We kind of like add our voice and creativity into the mix, which is also very hard because it's a lot to work through. People are so culturally accustomed to thinking about external sources of help and protection from the state. You know?    [00:51:52] Miko Lee: And many marginalized communities have created their own pods of safety, like the Black Panthers and queer and trans folks because they knew that they could not rely on the cops to be able to help.   [00:52:04] Tatiana Chaterji: Absolutely. Yep. And that's how I learned with Insight, women of Color against Violence, learning from people, immigrant women, sex workers, people who are not protected, who could not, or undocumented immigrants who couldn't call on the state for help. What. What do they need and how do they create that for themselves?   [00:52:22] Mimi Kim was a big inspiration for me. So in my politics, kind of like trying to bring more people into this, right? Like, what, what does it look like when you talk about abolition? And students are like, no, are you kidding? Like, we can't get rid of prisons. And, and, and that is absolutely okay to have that conversation and to sort of open up the possibilities there, recognizing that many people have not even gotten the kind of justice or protection that a prison might afford for some people and maybe has in some instances. Right? So to start with that and to be like, you deserve better now. You deserved better, your family deserves better.    [00:53:00] Miko Lee: You deserve food and shelter.    [00:53:02] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah.    [00:53:02] Miko Lee: The basic things. Yes.    [00:53:04] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah.    [00:53:05] Miko Lee: Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate it. So I found this quote in your book by Aurora Levin Morales, and I'm just wondering, please read that quote for me, and then tell me the why. Why you included this, why it's so important. [00:53:20] Tatiana Chaterji: Aurora Elevens Morales is this poet who has given me so much inspiration with her work. And this quote was on the website of Restore Oakland, where I've partnered and I just, uh, shout out to Kari and Tash and everyone. So she says, for what is revolution, if not healing? And I put it, uh, to start off my I think it's the conclusion, breathing in shards from a broken sky, new air, and new lungs.   [00:53:46] And I kind of put forth this idea of RJ lungs, which really like strength are, are, are strong with the power of empathy and connection. And yeah, I think that political work and change making happens with healing, it's before and after and all around that there has to be that synchronicity between healing what's wounded and, and, and giving us space for that while also activating change that they shouldn't happen in these bubbles, which I think is, uh, more and more people are embracing that interplay between the two. It's not just you, you heal over here and therapy. You do your political work where you burn out and people are getting abused and hurt all the time. It's like more we should hold all of our human messy selves in the political work.    [00:54:35] Miko Lee: Thanks so much. And then my final thing is you included a quote by a ninth grade student. Could you share that quote with me and    [00:54:43] Tatiana Chaterji: Yes.    [00:54:43] Miko Lee: Why it's so important?    [00:54:44] Tatiana Chaterji: One of my, um, teacher comrades Danielle Zimmerman, this quote came from one of her students in a writing exercise. And Ms. Z is someone who just really embraces RJ in all, in, in all ways. And so the student says, feed your heart with love, forgiveness, hope, and healing words. There is no other way to survive. And I think for me, it's like if we are supposed to live in this world, if we want to live here, and we are taught that we have to be hard, we have to protect ourselves and be harsh and battle the hostility, uh, what is going to happen to us as a result? How are we shaping the, the, the next generation, our families the school environments that we're part of, so that instead of that hardness feed yourself with this love, with this softness, with the power of of tenderness and and healing and it just, yeah, this student is so brilliant.   [00:55:46] Miko Lee: Thank you so much for listening tonight. Remember to reconnect to your ancestral technologies and hold in the power of tenderness.   [00:55:55] Please check out our website, kpfa.org/program/apexexpress to find out more about our show and our guests tonight. We thank all of you listeners out there. Keep resisting, keep organizing, keep creating, and sharing your visions with the world because your voices are important. Apex Express is produced by Ayame Keane-Lee, Anuj Vaidya, Cheryl Truong, Isabel Li, Jalena Keane-Lee, Miko Lee, Miata Tan, Preti Mangala-Shekar and Swati Rayasam. Tonight's show was produced by me Miko Lee, and edited by Ayame Keane-Lee. Have a great night.   The post APEX Express – 3.19.26- The Power of Tenderness appeared first on KPFA.

On this week's episode, I build on the poem I shared last week titled Because by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. The poem is about opening our hearts, even when the world around us temps us to close it or protect ourselves from all the anguish and pain. The poem encourages us to make love matter even when it is easy to fall into despair. I've let that poem seep into me and it inspired me to look up more pieces on heart centering and tenderness. May we sit at the altar of our heart. May we breathe deeply, listen compassionately. May we embrace the tenderness that tunes us into our truth, the tenderness that frees us, the tenderness that blesses our aliveness. Check out the show notes for links to Wendy Heckert's Heart Space: A Meditation Poem as well as Mark Nepo's  short essay This Tenderness. Enjoy the podcast!  Links: Heart Space by Wendy Heckert This Tenderness by Mark Nepo

Have you learned about how tender God's mercy is towards us? Join me as I take a journey through discovering God's transforming mercy, specifically in the Old Testament. We will look at the richness of words like racham and rachamim — and discover that God's compassion toward you is not distant or cold. It's tender, […]

In this week's episode of The Grill Coach Podcast, Jay and Brian explore how marinades can transform your grilling and BBQ. From building bold flavor profiles to tenderizing tougher cuts of meat, marinades are one of the most versatile tools in outdoor cooking. The guys break down how acids, enzymes, and seasoning work together to elevate beef, pork, poultry, and seafood on the grill.

The Scripture readings for tonight's service are Psalm 100; Jeremiah 23:1-3; Hebrews 13:20-21; and John 10:11-18. When Jesus declares, “I AM the Good Shepherd,” it isn't simply gentle comfort. It's fierce rescue, which still comforts His sheep. Christ lays down His life for scattered wounded sheep like us.

I haven’t yet had a chance to talk about New German Cinema on Eros + Massacre, though episodes on Rainer Werner Fassbinder and key figures from his group of collaborators have been high on my list. I could never pick a single favorite director, but Fassbinder is at least in the top five. And Kurt Raab—the actor, set designer, art director, screenwriter, and producer who was among Fassbinder’s most loyal, brilliant, and beleaguered collaborators—is among my favorite Germans to ever exist, so it seemed like a good idea to start with him. Film programmer and projectionist Adrianna Gober is the only person I know who loves Raab as much as I do, and we’ve been planning this episode for… years now. We decided to focus on three of Raab’s films, though we do give a lengthy intro about Fassbinder himself and how he set the creative tone for much of Raab’s career. First up is Tenderness of the Wolves (1973), a bleak serial killer thriller officially directed by Ulli Lommel, but it’s essentially a collaborative effort between Lommel and Raab, made with Fassbinder’s assistance. The center piece of the episode is Fassbinder’s Bolwieser aka The Stationmaster’s Wife (1977), a two-part made for TV series that has primarily been available in a truncated, feature-length version. A kind Discord user tracked down the complete version for us, not knowing we had already recorded, but we HAD TO go back and say more. And we end with a shorter discussion about Barbet Schroeder’s Cheaters (1984), a gambling drama with one of Raab’s wildest character actor roles. If you have trouble locating The Stationamaster’s Wife, you should be able to download it here. You can find Adrianna at the Gap Theater in Wind Gap, PA, which has some truly incredible programming, tons of 35mm screenings, and some of the best programmers working on the East Coast. If you’ve ever heard me wax poetic about Harry Guerro from Exhumed Films, this theater is one of his many labors of love and is an easy drive from the Mahoning Drive In (and is about two hours from both Philadelphia and NYC). I am a bad person and still have not yet been there, but it’s on my list of resolutions for this spring!

Eve Tushnet (writer and cofounder of Building Catholic Futures) joined Tyler, TJ, and David to talk about forms of kinship beyond marriage—specifically vows of friendship or lifelong celibate partnership. Eve reflects on her own journey to Catholicism, to serving the church as a gay Christian, and to discerning a lifelong partnership herself.★ About Our GuestEve Tushnet is the author of two award-winning books on gay Christians' spiritual journeys. She is the co-founder of Building Catholic Futures, which equips Catholic institutions to serve and share the Gospel with gay people. She lives in California with her partner and children. You can email Eve at eve@buildingcatholic.org.—★ Timestamps(00:00) #78 - Eve Tushnet on Catholic Discipleship and Vows of Partnership(00:34) Eve's background: Secular Jewish to gay Catholic(02:55) Building Catholic Futures for mission, for leadership(08:07) Core ideas: Spiritual journeys, perspectives, and storytelling(15:16) Churches: What small things can build trust?(18:13) Imagining a future of kinship beyond marriage(27:05) What to do with the rarity of vowed friendship(34:09) How Eve met her partner(39:56) How do you think about “romance” in your celibate partnership?(48:43) Children? Taking responsibility for each other's families(54:13) Are you sisters? Friends? Life partners? Kin?(57:21) Clergy to support your making of vows?(58:18) Loving people means choosing pain(01:07:58) Advice for people discerning kinships and partnerships—★ Links and ReferencesBuilding Catholic Futures: https://buildingcatholic.org/Tenderness (2021): https://www.avemariapress.com/products/tenderness—★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support || Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship—★ Credits || Eve's photo: Anthony Esser | Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

God’s love is tender—spiritual healing for shame, fear, and a harsh world where hearts get bruised. In this personal episode, Catherine shares what the Lord has been ministering to her for years: God is tender. Yes, He’s strong. Yes, He’s masterful. But when He comes for the human heart—your pain points, your confusion, your “I did it again” places—He doesn’t come with a sledgehammer. He comes safe. He comes kind. He comes with the tenderness that restores you from the inside out. If you’ve been living with anger, skepticism, or that low-grade inner ache that says, “I’m not enough,” this is for you. Catherine unpacks why a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1), and how tenderness disarms the fear underneath rage—both in others and in us. You’ll hear why condemnation is never God’s voice, why you can’t grow by beating yourself up, and how the Good Shepherd trains us to recognize His voice—the voice that carries you home (John 10). She also walks through the healing truth behind patterns we keep returning to (Romans 7): God doesn’t “rip things out” of you like magic. He heals you relationally—step by step—until you’re willing to release what you once believed you couldn’t live without. That’s identity in Christ maturing into freedom. That’s inner healing that actually lasts. If you’re tired of harsh religion, tired of trying harder, and ready to experience God’s heart as tender and relentless love—press play. Exhausted and worn out? Register for Pursued By Love: A Love Encounter with the God Who Adores You - https://catherinetoon.com/pursuedbylove To support the ministry with tax-deductible donations: https://catherinetoon.com/support/ Please Like, Share, & Subscribe -- a little thing that makes a big difference! Thank You! Marked by Love, Revised & Expanded Edition is here:
#1 Best Seller & #1 New Release in our category! Get your copy: https://amzn.to/3K2J9ZV God, Male & Female?: https://amzn.to/49hzCIM CONNECT WITH CATHERINE: ► Website: https://catherinetoon.com/ ► Facebook: @catherinetoonmd
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 Catherine has been in the business of changing lives for decades as an author, speaker, and prophetic coach. She is incredibly gifted at calling forth personal destiny and has helped thousands of individuals who are on that journey.

We talk about the book the Relentless Tenderness of Jesus by Brenan Manning

Welcome to today's Guided Prayer, where we invite you to find a quiet space to still your mind and body.  Guided Prayers are a daily 5–10 minute, intentionally created moment to slow down and meet with God—through scripture, reflection, and honest prayer.It's not a program you attend.It's a pathway you practice.A guided space where people can stop, breathe, and connect with Jesus—every single day.

A 5 weeks journey into deeper introspection & liberationInviting the Fiery Horse energies by building a solid foundation to your meditation practice and reaping the positive rewards in your life!

The Dutch special municipality of Bonaire in the Caribbean is already experiencing dangerous heat and could see a fifth of its land disappear under rising seas by 2100. But the Netherlands is discriminating against these overseas citizens by failing to adequately reduce global warming emissions and develop adaptation plans to help them cope, according to a January 2026 Dutch court decision.   Also, poet and author Jason Allen-Paisant left his native Jamaica to gain a graduate school education and prize-winning poetry career in England and France. He now looks back with wonder at the green of Jamaica where generations of his ancestors fed and healed his family. He shares this history in his book The Possibility of Tenderness: A Jamaican Memoir of Plants and Dreams.   And urine is packed with nutrients such as phosphorus and nitrogen, which can be pollutants when they enter the environment unchecked. But these can also be turned into vital fertilizer to nourish our crops, and 2025 MacArthur Fellow William Tarpeh, an Assistant Professor of Chemical Engineering at Stanford University, is developing methods for “refining” wastewater. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

02/21/2026, Kiku Christina Lehnherr, dharma talk at City Center. Kiku Christina Lehnherr explores meeting everything that presents itself to our awareness with tender and gentle attention.

Presented at Curwensville Alliance on 1/11/26 by Pastor Steve Shields. Listen as Pastor Steve speaks on 1 Peter 3:8-17. How are you doing in the midst of life? What are the qualities that prepare us for suffering? Friendships that really matter. Caring deeply for others. Brotherly love. Tenderness of heart. Humility. God sees you. He sees your suffering. He hears your prayers. He confronts the evil. Doing well in suffering means not letting fear rule the day. Make Christ the centerpiece of your life. Treat people with respect.

Instead of allowing her heart to fill with bitterness, the girl's heart remained tender.

Joshua RobinsonLectionary January 11, 2026http://dentonnorth.church/lectionary ★ Support this podcast ★

For people who are like broken reeds and smoldering wicks, the tenderness of Christ is good news.

Fr. Patrick preached this homily on December 21, 2025. The readings are from Isaiah 7:10-14, Psalm 24:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, Romans 1:1-7 & Matthew 1:18-24. — Connect with us! Website: https://slakingthirsts.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCytcnEsuKXBI-xN8mv9mkfw

It's a banner day here on the pod, Slushies. We welcome a very special guest, American Poetry Review's Elizabeth Scanlon to the table as we discuss three prose poems from Sara Burant. Dagne sends out birthday wishes to Canada's own Margaret Atwood while Lisa shows the team her Margaret Atwood-as-saint candle. We note the recent poetry trend towards raising the profile of female visual artists whose work has been overlooked during their lifetimes. Artists like Sonia Delaunay, mentioned in Burant's poem “Fields,” and Hilma af Kilmt, whose art inspired Didi Jackson's recent book “My Infinity.”  The mention of a clay pipe in one poem sends Marion running for a treasure her husband found while mudlarking. Kathy cops to her blue-collar resistance to a precious ars poetica and we discuss what it takes to win her over in the end. Elizabeth relates how John Ashbery likens waiting for a poem to a cat's finicky arrival. We note Frank O'Hara's notion of “deep gossip,” name checking his own friends along with celebrities in his poems, a gesture Burant employs in her poem “Heat wave.” And we come full circle with a shout out to American Poetry Review's own podcast where Elizabeth interviewed Margaret Atwood during the pandemic. As always, thanks for listening! At the table: Dagne Forrest, Samantha Neugebauer, Elizabeth Scanlon, Kathleen Volk Miller, Marion Wrenn, Lisa Zerkle, and Lillie Volpe (sound engineer) Bio: Sara Burant's poems, reviews, and collaborative translations of Paul Éluard's poems have appeared in journals such as OmniVerse, Pedestal, periodicities, Ruminate, and The Denver Quarterly. Her work has been honored with a fellowship from Oregon Literary Arts and a residency at Playa. At 55, she received an MFA in Poetry from Saint Mary's College of California. She's the author of a chapbook, Verge. Fields after Frank O'Hara And the truck driver I was made in the image of has a tattoo reminiscent of a Sonia Delaunay on her chest. And on her upper left arm, a nude torso of Apollo reminiscent not only of Rilke but of the male figure who loved her passionately in a dream—my god, he knew how to kiss and be kissed and knew her better than she'll ever know herself. Nobody sees these tattoos except her, looking in the mirror in a cheap motel's bathroom. At home she has no mirrors, just the phone she occasionally snaps a selfie with to make sure she has no spinach or gristle lodged between her teeth before heading to the bar. Actually, the truck driver I was made in the image of is undercover. She's really a Jungian analyst. Those cows in another dream, her heaviest self, chewing the cud of the past, farting, trampling the delicate vegetation, forming a tight circle around the calves when threatened, bellowing when all else fails. Hauling 30 tons in her 35-ton rig, she speeds past field after field which are all the same field. Oh field of dreams, why hasn't she built you? Instead she deletes photos to make room for more photos, wondering why this sunset, that face, this puddle's reflection, that abstract painting. She fished and caught and couldn't filet the tender meat that smelled too much like drowning. One rainy winter in Paris she nearly did drown. Creeping water-logged from museum to museum, finally she clung to Cézanne's misshapen fruit as if to a buoy. The apples and pears, just one man's apprehension of apples and pears, not thoughts inside thought-balloons, not some parable of ancient September. Just tilting tabletops, shapes, colors, the suggestion of shadows and light. Ars poetica For the chickens I save tidbits, potato skins, and the outer cabbage leaves which make me think of hats. The red wobble of the hens' combs and the smell of their fecal heat, unaccountably dear to me. Awaiting a match to warm me, I chew on a clay pipe's stem, contemplating the waning moon of its bowl and my pink lipstick past. The silence behind words spoken or thought clucks softly in my inner ear. Sitting inside, I can't help looking out, a lifting, carrying blue, the wind's little pull on the earlobe of my heart. Lately I've been cutting paper into shapes that mean Feed me or Take me to your leader, wishing I'd been taught to name feelings as they arise. Tenderness for the apple still hanging from winter's limb. Loneliness drunk down with morning's darjeeling. There are conspirators for beauty. Like rabbits, they leave tracks in the snow. Like geese, they arrow through hallways of night. Without sentiment or self-pity they gaze at certain slants of light. They chip away the ice with a pick to get at the lock. Then they pick the lock. And oh, what a view. I want to walk in the dark to get there, not following anyone's directions. To enter the fortune teller's crystal ball with bread in my pocket and a botanist's loupe. Though I don't know your name, I move forward only beside you, your imaginary hand in mine.  Heat wave The woman at the table next to mine gives up loud-talking in favor of song, but it's not looking for love, it's looking for FUN—& feeling groovy. Maybe I should warn her—today's theme isn't love or fun, it's submarine & skedaddle, it's danger-danger, hold your breath & sound. This avalanche of heat, these record-shattering days. See the breakage piling up on sidewalks so hot the barefoot babies weep as they learn to toddle. Maybe, as you like to point out, I'm catastrophizing, when what I really want is to feel groovy again. To butter my skin with baby oil & sizzle, walking barefoot along the burning sand, Bradford Beach where I fell in love unrequited for the umpteenth time. Back then, who was counting? Back then summer lasted for years & still wasn't long enough. 1978, despite Mother's reservations, I saved my babysitting money for a ticket to Fleetwood Mac at County Stadium. Eilleen, Maggie, Liz, Jean, Mary, me—& Stevie Nicks & Christine McVie, the elm trees & long summer dusk of those women's voices. A dusk so filled with the orange, violet & chartreuse silk of its immense flag flying above, beside & through you, you neglect to notice shadows splotching the periphery & forget your curfew. I didn't notice much, so stoned I was, we were, melting into the moment's spotlessness, our adolescent hips grooving, our tan arms waving, here, now, this, this, this—I mean there, then, that, that, that—no one yet suspended for drinking, no one yet strung out, dropping out, running off with boys to Oregon or Wyoming, limping home pregnant or in rags. The elms, gone. Mom, Vince, Rob & Christine McVie, too. I've had to swear off many things due to poor digestion—but oblivion, I'd still like to indulge in that sometimes, diving into it like a bee into a flower, a morning glory, its dumb, purple, one day only show. 

THE ULTIMATE POINT BEING LOVE, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION AND OTHER ASPECTS OF HELPING OUR FELLOW HUMANS.......... I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love Is the Greatest 13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. 11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

What does the Nativity reveal about masculinity?In this video, we reflect on St. Joseph and the quiet, contemplative masculinity revealed at the birth of Christ. Against modern ideas of power, dominance, and performance, the Nativity offers something radically different. Strength expressed through tenderness. Authority shown through obedience. Holiness revealed through proximity to a vulnerable God.St. Joseph never speaks in Scripture, yet he stands at the very center of the mystery of the Incarnation. He guards the Child. He listens in the night. He acts without spectacle. In doing so, he shows us a masculinity shaped not by control, but by intimacy with God.This reflection explores the masculine mysticism of Advent and the Nativity, the fear of tenderness in modern Catholic masculinity, and the deeper strength found in silence, vigilance, and mutual gaze with God. We also consider Joseph as an image of the bridal posture of the soul, showing how availability to God can take shape in a man's life.

THE ULTIMATE POINT BEING LOVE, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION AND OTHER ASPECTS OF HELPING OUR FELLOW HUMANS.......... I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love Is the Greatest 13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. 11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

The meditation featured in this episode originally took place during the IJS Daily Online Meditation Sit on December 08, 2025. To join these FREE daily meditations live, sign up here. Visit jewishspirituality.org to learn more about the Institute for Jewish Spirituality.

A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!

For episode 274, we are continuing a new series on the Metta Hour, centered on kids, in honor of Sharon's first children's book, Kind Karl, coming out on December 9th!Co-authored by Jason Gruhl, this illustrated picture book is for 4-8 year-olds and is a new children's adaptation of Sharon's beloved book Lovingkindness. To learn more about Sharon's forthcoming children's book, Kind Karl, and pre-order a copy with a special pre-order gift, you can visit Sharon's website, right here.For this podcast series, Sharon speaks with educators, caregivers, and researchers about the ways meditation, mindfulness, and lovingkindness can impact children of all ages and the family systems that support them. For the third episode of the series, Sharon speaks with Meena Srinivasan.Meena Srinivasan is an educational leader, speaker, author, and visionary edupreneur. With over two decades of dedicated service, she has consistently championing the fusion of Mindfulness and Social and Emotional Learning (SEL). In 2022, she was featured as one of Mindful Magazine's "Ten Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement," while also gaining recognition in Educational Leadership Magazine for her insights into Mindful Leadership and Wellbeing. Her recent TEDx Talk on Tenderness is one of the most popular talks of 2024 with more than 2 million views. A dedicated practitioner for more than 25 years, Meena is a newly ordained lay Dharma teacher in the Plum Village tradition, in the lineage of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, who calls her a “precious ambassador of mindfulness.”In this conversation, Meena and Sharon speak about:Aligning inner life with outer workMeena's early spiritual foundation in Hindu cultureSocial and Emotional Learning (SEL)SEL practices for different ages & environmentsSmell the Flower and Blow Out the Candle meditationsSupporting kids in crisisThích Nhất Hạnh's School of InterbeingThe importance of parents'' and educators' well-beingCommunity practice as a necessity Transformative Educational Leadership Meena's research on tenderness with Yale Tenderness versus compassion, vulnerability & empathyThe Three Breath Hug MeditationThe Non-Toothache MeditationThe episode closes with Meena leading guided practice. You can learn more about Meena's work on her website, right here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Josh and Drusilla are joined by Salem Horror Fest's Steve Kleinedler for 1978's The Legacy. From wiki: “The Legacy is a 1978 horror film directed by Richard Marquand, in his directorial debut, and starring Katharine Ross, Sam Elliott, Roger Daltrey, John Standing, and Margaret Tyzack. It follows an American couple who are summoned to a British mansion while visiting England for a work obligation, where they stumble upon its family's curse.”Also discussed: Salem Horror Fest, Tenderness of the Wolves, The Exterminating Angel, Fruits of Paradise, Daisies, Wolf Hole, Wicked: Part One, A Woman Under the Influence, John Cassavettes, The Ox-bow Incident, and more. NEXT WEEK: Alien (1979)Salem Horror Fest Submissions:https://filmfreeway.com/salemhorrorfestSteve Kleinedlerhttps://bsky.app/profile/skleinedler.bsky.socialhttps://letterboxd.com/stevekl/Bloodhaus:https://www.bloodhauspod.com/https://www.instagram.com/bloodhauspod/https://letterboxd.com/bloodhaus/Drusilla Adeline:https://www.sisterhydedesign.com/https://letterboxd.com/sisterhyde/https://www.instagram.com/sister__hyde/Joshua Conkelhttps://www.joshuaconkel.com/https://www.instagram.com/joshua_conkel/https://letterboxd.com/JoshuaConkel/  

In a season of Stillness, but I'm still here. ❤️‍

It’s tempting to be a very serious person in a very serious world. But what if staying soft was the most loving thing we could do? In this vulnerable and playful conversation, Kate sits down with Sophie Grégoire Trudeau—mental health advocate, speaker, and writer—to talk about childhood wiring, the masks we wear, and how we begin the lifelong work of coming home to ourselves. If you’re navigating heartbreak, trying to live in your body again, or just craving a little lightness without losing depth—this one's for you. SHOW NOTES: Gabor Maté – on trauma, addiction, and the pain beneath our coping mechanisms “Innocence is one’s ability to be found by the world.” – A reflection on David Whyte’s invitation to stay open Maslow, Indigenous wisdom, and the reminder that community is what makes us feel safe Support Guides: When Your Child is in Pain, When You've Been Hurt as a Child, Those Who Give and Need Support Come hang out in our new favorite corner of the internet: Kate's Substack. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Melina Duterte goes by the name Jay Som. She's a singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist. She's released three albums as Jay Som, and has produced, engineered, and mixed each one.Her third album, Anak Ko, came out in August 2019. And in this episode, Melina breaks down a song from it called “Tenderness.”To learn more, visit songexploder.net/jay-som.