Podcasts about Bedroom

When his parents were newly married, they moved into a small two-bedroom house that seemed perfectly ordinary. Until his mother began waking up to someone standing at the foot of the bed. She described him clearly. The headdress. The posture. The laughter.Her husband saw nothing. He tried to reassure her, even stood where she insisted the figure was — waving his hands through empty air.For a while, it was just her experience. Then came a winter night, a rattling door handle, and a porch covered in untouched snow.Years later, someone else would describe the same visitor — without ever being told the story. Was it imagination? Stress? Sleep paralysis? Or was something in that house never meant to be ignored?#RealGhostStories #HauntedHouse #ParanormalEncounter #Apparition #ShadowFigure #NightTerrors #UnexplainedActivity #SpiritualHaunting #TrueParanormal #GhostlyVisitorLove real ghost stories? Want even more?Become a supporter and unlock exclusive extras, ad-free episodes, and advanced access:

When his parents were newly married, they moved into a small two-bedroom house that seemed perfectly ordinary. Until his mother began waking up to someone standing at the foot of the bed. She described him clearly. The headdress. The posture. The laughter.Her husband saw nothing. He tried to reassure her, even stood where she insisted the figure was — waving his hands through empty air.For a while, it was just her experience. Then came a winter night, a rattling door handle, and a porch covered in untouched snow.Years later, someone else would describe the same visitor — without ever being told the story. Was it imagination? Stress? Sleep paralysis? Or was something in that house never meant to be ignored?#RealGhostStories #HauntedHouse #ParanormalEncounter #Apparition #ShadowFigure #NightTerrors #UnexplainedActivity #SpiritualHaunting #TrueParanormal #GhostlyVisitorLove real ghost stories? Want even more?Become a supporter and unlock exclusive extras, ad-free episodes, and advanced access:

If you think great sex starts with taking your clothes off… think again.

Join Halli Smith in this empowering episode with adult star Ana Khalifa as they discuss building confidence, embracing your sexuality, and enhancing body positivity. Ana shares a behind-the-scenes look into the adult industry, revealing insider secrets, practical bedroom hacks, and tips for women to feel more assertive and comfortable in their bodies. Topics include self-love, setting boundaries, stepping into “bad girl” energy, and boosting confidence both in the bedroom and everyday life. Perfect for women looking to own their sensuality, increase self-esteem, and live authentically. Don't miss this honest and inspiring conversation!F I N D  M E  H E RE  !   

In this episode of the Can We Talk? R&B podcast, Ian sits down with rising powerhouse vocalist Vella, a Cuban-American artist out of Tampa whose raw, soul-drenched voice has been turning heads worldwide. Vella shares how a simple TikTok cover recorded out of boredom during the pandemic turned into a viral moment that led to label attention, a deal with an indie LA label, and ultimately signing with Universal Sweden. She breaks down the years of vocal training and hard work behind her “overnight” success, her deep love for live instrumentation and classic soul/blues/rock, and the emotional process of crafting her debut project All My Love. From crying in the studio while recording the aching ballad “Dead Roses” to feeling the rush of performing for European crowds for the first time, Vella opens up about heartbreak, resilience, and the power of vulnerability in music—while also revealing her inner Zelda-loving, Nintendo-obsessed nerd.

I'm getting real about the desire gap today with relationship coach Monica Tanner—and trust me, we go there.

"It was the only time I felt like they actually loved me."In a narcissistic relationship, physical intimacy is rarely just about connection—it's about control. As a self-aware narcissist, I'm breaking down the truth about the "Bedroom Power Dynamic." We're discussing why the bedroom becomes the only place you feel "seen," and how a narcissist uses that bond to keep you stuck in a cycle of toxicity.If you've ever felt like intimacy was being used as a reward or a punishment, this Live is for you. We are talking about reclaiming your autonomy and understanding the difference between a "soul tie" and a "trauma bond."Connect with Lee:My Courses: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://courses.mentalhealness.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 1-on-1 Coaching Calls: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.me/mentalhealness⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠All My Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.page/mentalhealness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesssIf this episode helped you gain clarity, please leave a 5-star review on Spotify! It helps others find the validation they need to heal.

Liam is confused why his date Dorothy won't call him back after a fun time together... Find out why he got ghosted!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From helicopter parenting at job interviews to the legal limits of AI privacy, we dive into the bizarre trends and hard truths of modern adulthood. Plus, we explore whether a house even needs a bedroom and the immediate security fallout after getting fired.

Blessed to have Psychic Kim again today! Also, were you a LIVING room kid or BEDROOM kid?

HOUR 3: Do you even NEED a bedroom? full 2143 Wed, 11 Mar 2026 21:00:00 +0000 VLFDipddPOWRlnjMlMS4O90WzgXrHCZ2 news The Dana & Parks Podcast news HOUR 3: Do you even NEED a bedroom? You wanted it... Now here it is! Listen to each hour of the Dana & Parks Show whenever and wherever you want! © 2025 Audacy, Inc. News False https://player.amperwavepodcasting.com?feed-link=https%3A

What if sexual freedom isn't something we need to fight for, but something we're being invited to remember? In this episode of The Language of Love Conversations, I sit down with Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, one of Africa's most influential feminist voices and the author of the powerful new book Seeking Sexual Freedom: African Rites, Rituals, and Sankofa in the Bedroom. Nana is also the award-winning writer behind The Sex Lives of African Women, and her work has sparked global conversations about pleasure, liberation, and the deeper truths women share across cultures. In our conversation, we delve into her new book, which is part travel log, part cultural excavation, and part manifesto. Together, we explore African traditions around sexuality and pleasure that existed long before colonization and how those traditions challenge many of the stories women have inherited about desire and shame. What I love most about Nana's work is that she doesn't frame sexual liberation as something women must rebel toward. Instead, she invites us to remember. We talk about traditions like the “sex auntie,” communal rituals where women gathered across generations to share wisdom, and the importance of embodiment. Nana also shares how reconnecting with movement and our bodies can help us step out of shame and rediscover sensuality. If you've ever felt disconnected from your body, burdened by shame you didn't ask for, or curious about what pleasure might feel like if you could unlearn everything you were taught, this conversation is for you. We dive into: The meaning of Sankofa and how reclaiming the past can restore sexual freedom How colonialism interrupted natural freedom, leading to modern shame, homophobia, and marginalization The role of sex aunties (Senga) in guiding young women toward body confidence and pleasure without shame Rituals and rites of passage that created safe spaces for learning about sex Embodied practices like dance and movement as pathways to pleasure How sexual confidence influences confidence in the rest of our lives The trauma of female genital mutilation (FGM) and efforts to preserve cultural rites without harm What sexual freedom actually feels like in the body How we can all create new rituals for ourselves, our daughters, and our communities Why intergenerational conversations about sexuality matter Remember, sexual freedom may not be something we need to fight for. It may be something we're being invited to rediscover. To learn more, check out Nana's book Seeking Sexual Freedom: African Rites, Rituals, and Sankofa in the Bedroom. You can also connect with her at darkoathewriter.com or on Instagram at @thesexlivesofafricanwomen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get Ready to Talk Dirty: Unleashing Your Authentic Voice in the Bedroom! Join us on this episode of Shameless Sex as we dive into the sultry world of dirty talk with the dynamic duo, Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, M.A., founders of the Somatica Institute and creators of the Somatica Method. As thought leaders in the field of sex and relationship coaching, they've trained over 1000 coaches and have even been featured on UK's award-winning TV show, Virgin Island. In this episode, we'll be exploring the art of dirty talk and how to make it your own. Here's what you can expect to learn: * The surprising reasons why dirty talk can be so challenging for people, and why so many are eager to improve their skills * How to discover your unique and authentic voice when it comes to dirty talk * Tips and tricks for those who thrive on structure and formula * An insider's look at the Somatica Method and how it can help you tap into your confidence and empowerment in the bedroom * What to expect from Danielle and Celeste's online classes and upcoming sex and relationship coaching training By tuning in, you'll gain a deeper understanding of how to communicate your desires and boundaries with confidence and ease. You'll learn how to let go of inhibitions and tap into your authentic voice, making your intimate experiences more fulfilling and exciting. Danielle and Celeste bring their expertise and passion to the conversation, sharing their journey into the field of sexuality and the principles behind the Somatica Method. Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting to explore the world of dirty talk, this episode is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired. About the guests: Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, MA are the co-creators of the Somatica® Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching and co-founders of the Somatica® Institute. Their innovative, experiential approach helps individuals and couples transform the way they relate emotionally and sexually. They also train professional sex and relationship coaches through the Somatica Institute. They are the co-authors of ⁠Making Love Real,⁠ ⁠Cockfidence⁠, and ⁠Coming Together: Embracing Your Core Desires for Sexual Fulfillment and Long-Term Compatibility.⁠ Learn more: Explore Somatica courses and trainings at ⁠http://somaticainstitute.com⁠ and try their free 2-minute quiz to see if the training is right for you Join their free live Q&A on Thursday, March 12, 2026 Learn more about their Sex & Relationship Coaching Training starting in late April 2026 Take their online courses including⁠ How to Get Turned On: Unlock Your Core Desires⁠, or explore other courses at ⁠https://learn.somatica.com Come to our October 2026th retreats - one for women and one for couples! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join us on the Killing Kittens cruise in the Mediterranean in June 2026: ⁠⁠⁠h⁠ttps://kkcruise.com⁠⁠⁠ Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠our book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now! Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shamelesssex.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to snag your copy Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Wish List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Other links: Get 10% off getting soaking wet with code SHAMELESS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://soakingwet.com⁠⁠ Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://uberlube.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get 10% off while learning the art of pleasure at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://OMGyes.com/shameless⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get 15% off all of your sex toys with code SHAMELESSSEX at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://purepleasureshop.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Your body resets hormones and repairs itself while you sleep — but your bedroom environment may quietly interfere with that process. In Part 3 of the What Touches Your Skin 24/7? series, we look at how bedding, mattresses, and bedroom air quality can influence sleep, hormones, and recovery — and why natural fibers and healthier sleep surfaces deserve a closer look.

Kaelin mom wants to her to run by all of her interior design decisions!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Find out why Iris got ghosted on Waiting by the Phone from the vault. Plus, Kaelin is annoyed at her mom's comments about her bedroom makeover.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi Parents! It's normal for teenagers to pull away, retreat to their rooms, or become more private but for parents, it can feel isolating, frustrating, and even painful. In this episode, Anita Cleare, parenting coach and author of How to Get Your Teenager Out of Their Bedroom, shares strategies for navigating these tricky dynamics with patience and confidence. Anita explains why a teen's bedroom isn't just a space - they're practicing independence, managing emotions, and figuring out who they are. She offers practical ways for parents to reach out, stay connected, and foster open communication without forcing interactions. You'll hear how to manage your own feelings of rejection or worry, create small daily habits that strengthen connection, and encourage teens to share their experiences in a safe, supportive way. If you've ever wondered how to bridge the gap when your teen withdraws, this conversation helps you understand how to maintain a loving, connected relationship. Big hugs, Monica Crnogorac Next Steps Book a Free Discovery Call Visit My Website for More Information on My 8-Week Program Connect With Me on Instagram

Government and TSA Shutdowns are still impacting Houston airports during Spring BreakDana shared the Dive Team's incredible story at First Responders Day at the RodeoDo you have a TV in your room? And does your partner keep you up with their habits?

Feel like you're still years away from investing in real estate? Maybe you've got shaky finances, or you think you need more education. Today's guest was practically broke and sleeping in his truck while buying a seven-bedroom rental property with minimal money down! Welcome back to the Real Estate Rookie podcast! Isaac Mann was done paying rent. He wanted to start building equity in a home, but with little money to his name, inconsistent income, and no real place to live, he knew he would need to get creative. And that's exactly what he did, forming an investing partnership with two friends in order to qualify for a loan. Along the way, the deal was nearly derailed by lenders falling through and rigorous FHA inspections, but the trio pivoted and finally moved into the property, renting out rooms to friends to help minimize their share of the mortgage payment. How did they get the deal done? How much money is Isaac saving per month? And can you repeat the same strategy if you're starting from zero? In This Episode We Cover How Isaac bought a seven-bedroom rental property (while sleeping in his truck) Lowering your cost of living with the rent-by-the-room strategy What to do when your lender falls through (and you're under contract to buy!) The benefits and drawbacks of getting an FHA loan for your property The ins and outs of forming real estate investing partnerships And So Much More! Check out more resources from this show on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BiggerPockets.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.biggerpockets.com/blog/rookie-689 Interested in learning more about today's sponsors or becoming a BiggerPockets partner yourself? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠advertise@biggerpockets.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A new survey found the songs, TV shows, and movies that turn Americans on. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

BROADCASTING LIVE FROM COLORADO SPRINGS, CO!

In this unsettling creepypasta horror story, a woman living completely alone in the wilderness recounts a night that shattered her sense of safety when something softly knocked on her bedroom door—despite no one being miles away. What starts as isolation and silence quickly turns into one of the most chilling true scary stories, as the sounds in the dark grow deliberate, patient, and wrong. Surrounded by endless trees and cut off from help, she must confront whatever followed her home from the woods. Perfect for fans of horror stories, slow-burn tension, and deeply unsettling scary stories, this wilderness creepypasta will stay with you long after the knocking stops.

Pop Culture Thursday: Jared reads wild celebrity headlines from Page Six and gives his unfiltered takes!Kaley Cuoco vs. Rose McGowan drama from the Charmed setAlyssa Milano praised for welcoming Kaley Cuoco on setCandace Cameron Bure says thinking about God during sex freaks her outBachelor alum Madison “Madi” Pruitt talks purity and religionDavid and Victoria Beckham break Brooklyn Beckham's no-contact rule for his birthdayJared is on tour!

Have you found yourself wondering why your libido has left the bedroom? Or maybe thinking, why does sex feel different now, and why didn't anyone prepare me for this? If you have felt confused, frustrated, disconnected from your body, or quietly worried that midlife and menopause might mean the end of pleasure, this episode is for you. In this conversation on Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa welcomes back Dr. Maria Sophocles, board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, menopause specialist, sexual counselor, and author of the new book The Bedroom Gap: Rewrite the Rules and Roles of Sex in Midlife. Together, they explore what is actually happening to women's bodies in midlife and why so many of us were never properly prepared. Maria Sophocles is a gynecologist, author and public advocate for women's health. Her mission to close the gendered healthcare gap inspired her viral TED talk and book, The Bedroom Gap, about what happens to sex in midlife. Her efforts to provide access to contraception in New Jersey changed the state's constitution. Her virtual clinic serves women in eleven US states and internationally. She is currently working on a documentary about sex and menopause.  She is married with four grown children.Highlights from our discussion include:Why the bedroom gap is about more than just the orgasm gap and includes the difference in expectations, abilities, education, medical support, and cultural scripts between men and women around sex and pleasure.The real medical solutions for genitourinary syndrome of menopause symptoms including vaginal estrogen, vaginal prasterone, hyaluronic acid suppositories, and two FDA approved medications for low sexual desire, Addyi and Vyleesi.How shame, inherited sexual scripts, and the androcentric model of sex (sex designed for male pleasure) keep women from speaking up about their sexual health concerns to doctors or partners.Dr. Sophocles's Five M's framework: mind, meds, medicine, movement, and moisture, a roadmap for women who feel overwhelmed and want to reclaim sexual pleasure.Why sexual health is a fifth pillar of longevity, how staying sexually active lowers blood pressure and anxiety, increases lifespan, and combats the epidemic of loneliness.CONNECT WITH Dr. Maria Sophocles:Ep 6TED TalkHot DocumentaryInstagramThe Bedroom Gap BookWebsiteCONNECT WITH GABRIELLA ESPINOSA:InstagramLinkedInWork with Gabriella!  Go to https://www.gabriellaespinosa.com/ to book a call.Full episodes on YouTube. The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

Bonnie Blue Releases Manual Filled With Bedroom Secrets Including How to Please a Woman in Bed - And Claims Size Doesn't MatterAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

On this jaw-dropping edition of To Catch a Cheater from The Jubal Show, Ryan thought moving in with his girlfriend would bring them closer. Instead, it uncovered something he can’t explain — a random key on their bedroom floor that doesn’t belong to either of them. After a year together and just one month of living under the same roof, Bella’s behavior shifts. She’s distant. She wants more “alone time.” And when Ryan asks questions, the answers don’t add up. So we make the call.

On this jaw-dropping edition of To Catch a Cheater from The Jubal Show, Ryan thought moving in with his girlfriend would bring them closer. Instead, it uncovered something he can’t explain — a random key on their bedroom floor that doesn’t belong to either of them. After a year together and just one month of living under the same roof, Bella’s behavior shifts. She’s distant. She wants more “alone time.” And when Ryan asks questions, the answers don’t add up. So we make the call.

On this jaw-dropping edition of To Catch a Cheater from The Jubal Show, Ryan thought moving in with his girlfriend would bring them closer. Instead, it uncovered something he can’t explain — a random key on their bedroom floor that doesn’t belong to either of them. After a year together and just one month of living under the same roof, Bella’s behavior shifts. She’s distant. She wants more “alone time.” And when Ryan asks questions, the answers don’t add up. So we make the call.

Host Halli returns on Girl Core to take you from shy to bold in the bedroom. Arguing that giving clear directions and taking control can ease men's performance anxiety creating more fun. She shares specific examples of phrases and physical cues to use. Learn to not being a “passenger” to your big "O". Wrapping it up her Q&A, she addresses low libido on birth control with slow-burn foreplay ideas, IUD pros cons and more.F I N D  M E  H E RE  !   

Hey guys! Today we're continuing our special bedroom decluttering week and working on Zone Three of the primary bedroom — inside the furniture. This includes: nightstands dressers shelves This is part of the purge phase of our decluttering process. These are longer, contained sessions (about 2–3 hours), different from daily habit decluttering. The things that end up here are often: important unfinished something we don't want to forget or something we're not ready to deal with yet Today's episode focuses on learning how to stay present long enough to decide, without pushing or abandoning yourself. What we do in Zone Two This is not about organizing or creating perfect systems. It is about: categorizing sorting by destination reducing visual noise creating mental clarity You'll be guided through: how to set up your supplies how to regulate your nervous system before you start how to move through surfaces one item at a time how to stop when your timer goes off Supplies mentioned Post-its (to label destinations) A pen A task list or notebook A trash bag Optional but helpful: Boxes or bins Gallon and sandwich-size Ziploc bags for small items Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. If this episode helped you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. Download my free decluttering planner here: https://declutteryourchaos.com/decluttering-planner Let's connect:

Ever feel like you're doing all the Christian things… but nothing is changing? You go to church, try to be a good husband, dad, and man of God—but behind closed doors you're still battling anger, lust, hypocrisy, or spiritual emptiness. In this episode, Chad (pharmacist, pastor, men's coach, and host of the Rev RX podcast) shares the turning point that changed everything: the night he hit the end of himself and realized you can't “white-knuckle” your way into biblical manhood. If you've been chasing success, the American Dream, approval, or people-pleasing—yet still feel empty—this conversation will hit home. You'll hear how real transformation starts with surrender to God, building an actual relationship with God, and living from grace instead of willpower. This is for the man who wants to stop going through the motions and start walking with God daily through Scripture, prayer, and worship—and for the man who wants to become the kind of discipler who helps other men grow too. You'll hear why success and money can't fill the emptiness, how “trying to be better” becomes spiritual whack-a-mole, what surrender actually looks like in real life, and how daily Bible reading, two-way prayer, and worship reshape your marriage, parenting, career, and identity as a biblical man. 00:00 Intro00:43 Chad's story (pharmacist + pastor + husband/dad)02:40 Saved at 9, but not discipled05:20 Chasing success + people-pleasing08:10 Church on Sunday, party on Saturday (the tension)11:20 The American Dream… and feeling empty13:00 The shift: praying, opening the Bible, God feels real15:10 Whack-a-mole Christianity (trying harder fails)16:40 Bedroom floor breakdown + surrender moment17:42 You can't do it alone (the breakthrough)19:10 Daily Scripture, prayer, worship + discernment20:48 Surrender your finances, marriage, parenting, career21:44 Join The Biblical Man group (community + discipleship) #BiblicalManhood #ChristianMen #SurrenderToGod #MensMinistry #FaithJourney Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys! Today we're continuing our special bedroom decluttering week and working on Zone Three of the primary bedroom — inside the furniture. This includes: nightstands dressers shelves This is part of the purge phase of our decluttering process. These are longer, contained sessions (about 2–3 hours), different from daily habit decluttering. The things that end up here are often: important unfinished something we don't want to forget or something we're not ready to deal with yet Today's episode focuses on learning how to stay present long enough to decide, without pushing or abandoning yourself. What we do in Zone Two This is not about organizing or creating perfect systems. It is about: categorizing sorting by destination reducing visual noise creating mental clarity You'll be guided through: how to set up your supplies how to regulate your nervous system before you start how to move through surfaces one item at a time how to stop when your timer goes off Supplies mentioned Post-its (to label destinations) A pen A task list or notebook A trash bag Optional but helpful: Boxes or bins Gallon and sandwich-size Ziploc bags for small items Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. If this episode helped you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. Download my free decluttering planner here: https://declutteryourchaos.com/decluttering-planner Let's connect:

Hey guys! Today we're continuing our special bedroom decluttering week and working on Zone Two of the primary bedroom — all the surfaces. This includes: nightstands dressers shelves the bed (if things collect there) any flat surface in the room This is part of the purge phase of our decluttering process. These are longer, contained sessions (about 2–3 hours), different from daily habit decluttering. Why bedroom surfaces fill up Bedroom surfaces tend to collect clutter because the bedroom feels private and protected. It's a space where decisions can be delayed without being questioned. The things that end up here are often: important unfinished something we don't want to forget or something we're not ready to deal with yet Today's episode focuses on learning how to stay present long enough to decide, without pushing or abandoning yourself. What we do in Zone Two This is not about organizing or creating perfect systems. It is about: categorizing sorting by destination reducing visual noise creating mental clarity You'll be guided through: how to set up your supplies how to regulate your nervous system before you start how to move through surfaces one item at a time how to stop when your timer goes off Supplies mentioned Post-its (to label destinations) A pen A task list or notebook A trash bag Optional but helpful: Boxes or bins Gallon and sandwich-size Ziploc bags for small items Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. If this episode helped you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. Download my free decluttering planner here: https://declutteryourchaos.com/decluttering-planner Let's connect:

Hey guys! Today we're continuing our special bedroom decluttering week and working on Zone Two of the primary bedroom — all the surfaces. This includes: nightstands dressers shelves the bed (if things collect there) any flat surface in the room This is part of the purge phase of our decluttering process. These are longer, contained sessions (about 2–3 hours), different from daily habit decluttering. Why bedroom surfaces fill up Bedroom surfaces tend to collect clutter because the bedroom feels private and protected. It's a space where decisions can be delayed without being questioned. The things that end up here are often: important unfinished something we don't want to forget or something we're not ready to deal with yet Today's episode focuses on learning how to stay present long enough to decide, without pushing or abandoning yourself. What we do in Zone Two This is not about organizing or creating perfect systems. It is about: categorizing sorting by destination reducing visual noise creating mental clarity You'll be guided through: how to set up your supplies how to regulate your nervous system before you start how to move through surfaces one item at a time how to stop when your timer goes off Supplies mentioned Post-its (to label destinations) A pen A task list or notebook A trash bag Optional but helpful: Boxes or bins Gallon and sandwich-size Ziploc bags for small items Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. If this episode helped you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. Download my free decluttering planner here: https://declutteryourchaos.com/decluttering-planner Let's connect:

In this Medium episode of The Noise of Life Podcast, I sit down with Jane Langof, feng shui master and educator, to explore one of the most overlooked influences on our wellbeing — how our homes are designed before we ever move in.Jane explains why the most powerful time to consider energy is not when something feels wrong, but at the very beginning, when a home is still just lines on a page and small design decisions can shape years of living.We unpack why feng shui is not about quick fixes or decorative cures, but about understanding how energy flows through a home — influencing sleep quality, emotional health, relationships, and mental clarity.In this episode, we explore:• Why every home has a unique energy map• How intentional design can prevent stress instead of correcting it later• The hidden impact of layout on wellbeing and daily life• Why “one-size-fits-all” home advice often falls short• The bedroom as one of the most powerful rooms for recovery, connection, and communication• How clutter, technology, and even what sits behind your bed can affect rest• Clearing the energy after relationship breakdowns and creating a true reset• Small, practical changes that can transform how your home feels.At its core, this conversation is an invitation to become more aware of whether your environment is supporting you — or quietly draining your energy.Because when your space is designed with intention, life begins to feel calmer, clearer, and far easier to navigate.If you've ever felt unsettled in your own home, struggled to fully rest, or wondered why certain spaces don't feel right, this episode offers a powerful new lens on the environments you live in every day.Connect with Jane:Instagram  → https://bit.ly/3NEWWuP Website → https://www.fengshuiconcepts.com.au/ LinkedIn  →  https://bit.ly/3LLljGD Connect with Steve:Instagram → https://bit.ly/3KARQhR LinkedIn  → https://bit.ly/48sw8Vj Episode Highlights00:00:00 - Why the design stage is the most powerful time to work with energy 00:01:10 - Making changes before walls and staircases lock things in 00:02:00 - Understanding positive and negative energy zones 00:03:00 - Why feng shui is not one size fits all 00:04:30 - Creating a unique energy map for every home00:05:40 - Bedrooms as the foundation for sleep and relationships 00:06:40 - Bed placement, support, and feeling safe while resting 00:07:30 - Why clutter and storage under the bed matter00:08:30 - Technology, TVs, and energy in the bedroom00:09:40 - Clearing energy after relationship breakdowns00:10:40 - Simple resets that create a fresh start 00:11:40 - Why water and colour amplify energy 00:13:00 - Being intentional rather than reactive with your spaceABOUT THE PODCAST SHOWThe Noise of Life is a podcast that shares real stories, raw truths, and remarkable growth. Hosted by Steve Hodgson a coach, facilitator, speaker, and Mental Health First Aid Instructor. This podcast dives deep into the “noise” we all face, the distractions, doubts and challenges that can pull us away from who we truly are.

In this episode I coach a mom of a 10-year-old PDAer who is in burnout (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). The child loves to cook and bake but has a meltdown if family members clean up after her while she's in the kitchen. She also melts down if others pass by her bedroom on the way to their own, which her mom has to do if she's going to clean the kitchen after her daughter leaves. We talked through if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was also present, but decided to focus on working through the PDA lens. We then used our decision making framework to determine how the mother could manage their bedtime routine in a way that would be more pleasant for everyone. I hope you find the conversations helpful. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays at 1pm ET.xo,CaseyPS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

Hey Guys! Welcome to the Purge. This episode is a guided decluttering session focused on Zone One, using a simple Ready → Set → Go structure so you can move through the space with clarity, momentum, and less mental exhaustion. Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. Today's Decluttering Focus Zone One: The bedroom floor (bins, piles, boxes, and anything on the floor that isn't furniture) If your Zone One looks different, that's okay. This is just one way to break up the space so the work feels manageable. You'll want 2–3 uninterrupted hours set aside before you begin. The Ready → Set → Go Framework READY: Prepare to Start Before touching anything, make sure you have: Your decluttering supplies (bags, boxes, piles—whatever works for you) Post-its and a marker for labeling categories A task list (paper, journal, or phone notes) The Task List As you declutter, thoughts will surface: Things you need to return Appointments you need to schedule Calls, emails, or follow-ups you've been avoiding You are not meant to remember all of this. Your task list becomes a trusted place to capture those thoughts so you can let go of the object without losing the reminder. If it's on paper, take a photo when you're done—you'll be releasing the physical item that used to hold that information. SET: Regulate Your Nervous System Before you begin, you'll pause to set your energy. Decluttering often activates the stress response because the nervous system reads clutter as a threat. In that state, decision-making becomes harder and everything feels heavier. Slow, intentional breathing helps shift the body out of fight-or-flight and into a calmer, clearer state—before you touch a single item. In this episode, you're guided through a short breathing practice to help you: Settle your body Reduce overwhelm Create clarity before making decisions You haven't changed the room yet—but you've changed how you're meeting it. GO: Declutter the Zone Once regulated, you'll: Set a timer Stay in Zone One only Keep moving until the timer ends How to Move Through the Space Pick up one item at a time Place it into a clearly labeled category Write the destination on the post-it (donation, consignment, e-waste, a person's name, a room, etc.) If something belongs in another room, label it—don't leave the zone This keeps you focused and prevents derailment. You may pause briefly to: Breathe Write something on your task list Reset your focus But you keep going. When the Timer Goes Off Stop. Not because you're done, but because burnout doesn't help progress. End the session with: Clear categories A sense of structure A plan for your next purge day If you have time before the next session, you can take some categories to their destinations—but this is optional. There will be a full episode dedicated to processing everything later. After Day One If your space feels messier than when you started, that's normal. You've created structure inside the chaos. You're no longer avoiding it. You're in motion. This is progress. Coming Up Next Day Two: Furniture surfaces Day Three: Inside furniture and storage Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. If this episode helped you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. Download my free decluttering planner here: https://declutteryourchaos.com/decluttering-planner Let's connect:

Hey Guys! Welcome to the Purge. This episode is a guided decluttering session focused on Zone One, using a simple Ready → Set → Go structure so you can move through the space with clarity, momentum, and less mental exhaustion. Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. Today's Decluttering Focus Zone One: The bedroom floor (bins, piles, boxes, and anything on the floor that isn't furniture) If your Zone One looks different, that's okay. This is just one way to break up the space so the work feels manageable. You'll want 2–3 uninterrupted hours set aside before you begin. The Ready → Set → Go Framework READY: Prepare to Start Before touching anything, make sure you have: Your decluttering supplies (bags, boxes, piles—whatever works for you) Post-its and a marker for labeling categories A task list (paper, journal, or phone notes) The Task List As you declutter, thoughts will surface: Things you need to return Appointments you need to schedule Calls, emails, or follow-ups you've been avoiding You are not meant to remember all of this. Your task list becomes a trusted place to capture those thoughts so you can let go of the object without losing the reminder. If it's on paper, take a photo when you're done—you'll be releasing the physical item that used to hold that information. SET: Regulate Your Nervous System Before you begin, you'll pause to set your energy. Decluttering often activates the stress response because the nervous system reads clutter as a threat. In that state, decision-making becomes harder and everything feels heavier. Slow, intentional breathing helps shift the body out of fight-or-flight and into a calmer, clearer state—before you touch a single item. In this episode, you're guided through a short breathing practice to help you: Settle your body Reduce overwhelm Create clarity before making decisions You haven't changed the room yet—but you've changed how you're meeting it. GO: Declutter the Zone Once regulated, you'll: Set a timer Stay in Zone One only Keep moving until the timer ends How to Move Through the Space Pick up one item at a time Place it into a clearly labeled category Write the destination on the post-it (donation, consignment, e-waste, a person's name, a room, etc.) If something belongs in another room, label it—don't leave the zone This keeps you focused and prevents derailment. You may pause briefly to: Breathe Write something on your task list Reset your focus But you keep going. When the Timer Goes Off Stop. Not because you're done, but because burnout doesn't help progress. End the session with: Clear categories A sense of structure A plan for your next purge day If you have time before the next session, you can take some categories to their destinations—but this is optional. There will be a full episode dedicated to processing everything later. After Day One If your space feels messier than when you started, that's normal. You've created structure inside the chaos. You're no longer avoiding it. You're in motion. This is progress. Coming Up Next Day Two: Furniture surfaces Day Three: Inside furniture and storage Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. If this episode helped you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. Download my free decluttering planner here: https://declutteryourchaos.com/decluttering-planner Let's connect:

*Disclaimer* This episode contains adult content and is not recommended for young listeners.   284. DON'T MISS THIS! Controversial Sex Questions, Answered with Dr. Juli Slattery   1 Samuel 24:19b NIV “May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me today.”   *Transcription Below*   Bio: Instagram Facebook Authentic Intimacy Website Java with Juli Podcast   Thank you to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Questions and Topics We Cover: As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? If one part of Scripture talks about turning the other cheek, is that the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage? Is it reasonable to assume that once they have a smartphone, 100% of kids will be exposed to pornography?   Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce, Including Past Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen  Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau  Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna  Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God's Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns  Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 222 Pornography: Protecting Children and Personal Healing, Victory, and Recovery in Christ with Sam Black Special Patreon Release: Holy Sex: An Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery Special Patreon Release: His Desires and Her Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen 224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn 252 Maximizing Sexual Connections as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner 260 Sex After Cancer with Dr. Kris Christiansen 277 Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:11 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 – 2:21) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.   My returning guest for today is Dr. Juli Slattery.   She has authored another book entitled Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes Everything, and we're going to cover a few themes from this book, but I think what you're going to find most helpful are her candid responses to some really tricky questions related to dating and pornography, technology, thought life, shows that we watch as believers, divorce, and just intimacy in general as married couples.   So, I think this is an episode that you're going to want to learn from yourself, but you'll also want to share with others because Dr. Juli has offered us such a gift as she directs us back to the heart issues and wisely guides us into sexual integrity in our own lives.   Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Juli.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:21 – 2:21) Thanks so much for having me back. It's always a joy.   Laura Dugger: (2:21 – 2:22) Well, I love that you've been a repeat guest many times. So, we get to just dive right in today because I'm going to link all of your previous episodes in the show notes. But to dive in, I'm just curious, as believers, where does your heart break as you see us compromising on God's design for sex?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:22 – 3:31) Hmm. That's such a good question. You know, I think my heart breaks the most in that when we compromise God's design for sexuality, or even when we don't understand it or understand His goodness, it means that there is a breach in our relationship with God.   And so, I am so passionate about what I do, not necessarily because I love talking about sexuality, but because for a lot of people, sexuality represents a wall between them and God, like an issue they can't resolve, or a place of shame that they just can't quite shake free from, or battle with sin that they feel like they're enslaved to. And so, those things mean that there's a limit to how much they invite God into their lives.   And so, for me, that's where my heart breaks the most is, you know, ultimately, we were created for the greatest fellowship with God and anything that gets in the way of that is something that God cares about and something that I care about.   Laura Dugger: (3:32 – 4:03) You say that well, and you've written many books, but in this most recent one, you plainly state one issue when you write, “You will not be able to obey God with your sexual thoughts, while binging shows and music that continually display the exact opposite.”   And I love how practical that is. So, Juli, why do you think this has become so normalized? And I would say, especially in Christian marriages.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (4:05 – 5:58) Yeah, you know, I think a lot of it is that the church has been historically really quiet about sexuality, you know, like we might talk about save sex for marriage, and don't cheat on your husband and that sort of thing. But the gray areas about how we think about our sexuality and kind of what we have the liberty and freedom to engage in, there's kind of silence, or maybe there's legalism.   And I think in that space, what ends up happening is the culture is so forthright with a message about sexuality, like woven throughout every single show that you could stream on any platform, you know, your music on Spotify, even the news you consume, the Instagram feeds, whatever, it's consistently showing you a way to understand sexuality that is contrary to God's design, and the messaging can be so subtle, or so repetitive that we don't even realize we're ingesting it.   And so, it's normal to talk about with your friends, like the latest season of The Bachelor, or, you know, the latest thing that you're streaming that if you really look at it, there's probably 100 references to sexuality that are outside of God's design. And so, we end up just having our mind conformed to this world.   And the scripture says really clearly in Romans 12, that we can't offer ourselves to God while we're still thinking like the world thinks that it requires an act of transformation of our thinking. And I don't know that there's anywhere more than we need this than in the topic of understanding our sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (6:00 – 6:59) Okay, so for I'm thinking of married couples, because I was recently at a wedding shower. And I love a friend from church. Her name is Dawn Karius. And she was giving the devotional and just sharing. You know, it's very easy to get married and fall into this trap. She was talking about what you watch specifically.   And she said, so many couples will watch something together, watch a show before bed, but be really intentional. If that is what you choose to do, then the shows that you're watching, even though you're with your spouse, is that drawing both of you closer to Christ? Because if it's pulling you further away from Christ, it's also pulling you away from one another.   And so, with all of that, and with what you've studied and written about, if a couple's hearing that and or some single person just hearing this, what would be your practical advice or encouragement for them?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (7:00 – 9:29) Yeah, some of it is, we can't live in a bubble. You know, it's, I think that there are some couples will have the conviction that, you know, we're just going to get rid of all of our devices, we're going to get rid of every streaming service. And there's nothing wrong with that decision, you might feel convicted to do that.   But for most couples, I would say, they're like, okay, we live in this world, we need to understand even the world we live in. And so, it's not like we're going to completely be cut off. But are we being discerning about what we consume?   And what are the standards that we might hit where we might just say, “You know what, we don't need to be watching this.” You know, like I can think of one show in particularly that my husband and I were watching. And it was a well-written show. It was exciting. But there was just so much profanity and just gross kind of sexual content that after two or three episodes, we're both just like, “You know what, as good as the show is, we just, this isn't, we're not watching this. Like we need to stop.”   And I think you need to have those discussions and you might have a different level of conviction than your spouse does. And that's okay, but at least have those conversations and you need to follow your conviction.   But then the other thing I would say that is equally important, if not more important, what are you consuming that helps you get God's perspective of sexuality? And what I've found is that a whole lot of Christian married couples know very little about what it looks like to build a healthy sex life in their marriage. And they're not consuming anything that helps them know how to love each other better, how to overcome differences, even how their bodies work, how to focus on one another and enjoy sex in a holy erotic way.   And so, even if you're watching and consuming very little content from the world, but you're not actively pursuing anything that gives you a biblical perspective, you're still going to end up defaulting to what the world says. And so, I think that again, it's equally as important or not, if not more important to be pursuing what's true and what's right and what's good.   Laura Dugger: (9:31 – 9:53) I love that, how you flipped it. And that discernment piece is huge because we don't want to be desensitized to then that we're consuming and we also want to feed on the good. So, I think it even leads to a broader question, again, as Christ followers, how can we recognize if our conscience is being pricked?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (9:54 – 12:05) Yeah, we can start by asking the Lord. You know, I mean, I think it's in, is it Psalm 139, where, you know, David is basically saying, “Search me, oh God, and know my thoughts, you know, show me if there's any offensive way within me.”   I think that's a beautiful prayer as an individual and as a couple, like God, we want to honor you with what we consume in media, with what we think about, would you guide us and would you show us? And then I think we all have that experience of watching something or listening to something or reading something where we're like, “Uh, I don't know, like, this is sort of a gray area. Like, I'm uncomfortable here. I probably shouldn't be watching this.” Or “Wow, that's really, that's really in your face. Like that's really graphic.”   And it's heeding the Holy Spirit when you get those prompts, instead of just pushing through and being like, “Ah, it's not that big of a deal. It's not going to affect me.” Like when you feel that sense of prompting, you respond to it and you say, “All right, I'm going to put this down. I'm going to shut this off.”   And, um, you know, the scripture says that we can become callous to those promptings of the Holy Spirit if we are in a habit of just running right through that. But we become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit when we yield and when we obey.   Um, and so, I think even just keeping track, you know, every day or every week, like where were the times regarding this or anything else that I really felt convicted by the Holy Spirit about maybe something I said about a friend, uh, or about a little white lie I told, you know, where were the times where I really felt the Holy Spirit nudging me and what did I do? Um, where do I need to confess that I didn't respond well? And where do I need to celebrate that? Yes, I listened, I obeyed, I yielded. Um, and so, I think that's a practice we get into of either ignoring that conviction or really yielding to it.   Laura Dugger: (12:06 – 12:28) Hmm. And that gets after the heart issue, which Jesus is so concerned about our heart. And that's a very softened heart approach. Yes. I hope we can have. And as it relates to sexual integrity, then what are some other ways that we need to be on guard so that we're careful not to be misled?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (12:29 – 13:37) Yeah, boy, I think there's just so much conversation. Um, again, even in Christian circles, sometimes around having a negative attitude towards sex, um, kind of accepting some forms of pornography as normal and even good, you know, husband bashing, wife bashing, you know, like complaining, kind of letting the thought feed in your mind of maybe I should have married somebody else.   Maybe that my life would be easier if I, I weren't married to this person. I wish they were this or that. So, sort of that discontent that is natural to feel in marriage. But the question is, what do you do with it? Do you give it space to grow and to nurture, or do you bring that before the Lord?   Um, so, I think those are some of the ways that we want to look at, like, how am I giving the enemy space in my life and in my marriage versus how am I inviting God to really reclaim what's broken here?   Laura Dugger: (13:38 – 14:01) Well, and then even thinking of the other side to guard ourselves from having a critical and judgmental spirit toward others or just having self-righteous pride. Can you educate us on some common reasons why some people may be predisposed to struggle with some certain sexual sins?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (14:02 – 17:20) Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important, um, because the research really shows that some of us are more, I don't know if I'd say it that way, but we are going to be more predetermined maybe to struggle with things like pornography or same-sex attraction, or even hooking up.   And it's never like a one plus one equals two exactly. But there are what we might say indicators or risk factors that make you more vulnerable to those kinds of sexual struggles. And some of them might be unhealthy family dynamics growing up, you know, none of us had a perfect family, but let's say you grew up in a family where one of your parents was like overtly critical towards you all the time.   Maybe you went through a divorce with your parents where, um, you know, at a certain age, you just, your family fell apart and you're kind of looking for that stability and love. People who have experienced sexual trauma in childhood or the teen years are going to be more pre-dispositioned to want to understand that or act that out.   People who might struggle with anxiety. And, you know, some of it is we got to understand that sex, because it elicits dopamine in our brain and oxytocin and endorphins, which are all really feel good kind of experiences and hormones and neurotransmitters. When we had a sexual experience at a young age, our brain can learn, “Oh, this is how I deal with stress. This is how I deal with depression. This is how I deal with loneliness.”   So, a lot of times when you talk to somebody who has an ongoing struggle with a sexual temptation or sin, it's because they've learned as a pattern from maybe the time they were 10 years old or 12 years old or 15 years old, that this is how I dealt with the stress in my family. This is how I dealt with when my father died. This is how I dealt with when I was sexually abused. Like this was the way that I found to self-regulate and to self-medicate and to find comfort.   And that can be masturbation. It can be pornography or again, you know, acting out sexually. And so, for people who have that kind of story, and this might be your spouse, or this might be against somebody that you're looking at and judging to just say, “You need to stop that behavior,” is often not going to be enough. They need to do the work of really looking at what am I using sex for? What are the wounds that I'm using sex to cover up?   And how do I actually get the healing I need and find healthier and safer ways for me to cope with negative emotions? And that's why groups are really important for people who have sexual struggles. Counseling is really important. And again, that long journey of healing and freedom, not just a one-time decision that I'm going to try to never do this again.   Laura Dugger: (17:21 – 20:19) Love that word freedom, even because that hope is available. And just pointing out how you said this is not deterministic. That's not what we're saying is if you experience something, you will act out sexually. But I agree with you that it is fascinating and helpful to hear the correlation of certain things that happen, especially in childhood, and how that plays out long-term.   And I am blanking on which guest it was on The Savvy Sauce, but somebody was enlightening me. I think it was for females that if they were sexually abused, typically before a certain age, then they were more likely to struggle in marriage with wanting to completely avoid sex. But then if it was after a certain age, that it was completely opposite where they maybe used sex to medicate, or they were very aggressive and even would act out, let's say in single years, that they would sleep around with a bunch of partners if they had been wounded.   And so, I just think it just, it helps us to not be judgmental of one another. We don't know the full story.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (20:20 – 21:09) Yes. Yeah. There's always more there than we usually realize at first. And, you know, this plays out a lot in marriage because there are a lot of women who are married to guys who are addicted to pornography. And that's a deeply painful dynamic. That's really hard.   But to understand that your husband didn't want to have this struggle, often doesn't know how to get out of it, you know, gives you compassion. It doesn't mean that you look the other way, you need to get help, and you need to insist on getting help. But it does give you empathy and compassion that there's something underlying this and feeding it. It's not just, “Oh, I think I'm going to, you know, look at porn and hurt my wife again,” that there's always a deeper dynamic at work.   Laura Dugger: (21:10 – 21:50) Absolutely. And even an example from your book, I'll just read a quote where you said, “I spoke with a man who runs a sexual addiction program. He told me he had never met someone with sexual addiction, who did not also have significant sexual or psychological trauma in their past.”   And I think it goes along with what we're saying. But if we also then flip it and look at more of the positive side, how can we rightly prioritize connection and intimacy in marriage as God intended?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (21:53 – 24:24) I think first of all, we need to be convinced that this is worth it. You know, when we look at everything there is to do in life, there's so many worthy demands on our time. You know, from I want my house to look nice, and we need to make friends and we need to be an outreach to our community. And our kids are taking a lot of time and they should, and they've got all their activities and our church needs our help. Like when do you have time to do all this? And then, oh yeah, prioritize your marriage.   And I think we have to become convinced that if we're not working on our marriage, and specifically if we're not working on the sexual connection in marriage, then all those other things have the potential to fall apart. That the way I've learned it over time is that sex is never going to be a neutral issue in your marriage. It's either going to be something that is bonding you together and causing you to work on the deeper levels of intimacy, even as you talk through sexual difficulties, or it's going to be something not immediately, but over time, that becomes a wedge between you.   It might start as a wedge of resentment of my needs aren't getting met, or I feel like you're objectifying me or you're putting pressure on me. Or it might be a deeper wedge of a pornography addiction or something that's not being addressed. Or I don't trust my husband because of my trauma. And those things don't just stay dormant. The wedge becomes bigger and bigger and bigger until you get to the place where now you're not comfortable being in the same room anymore and you feel like roommates. And then now one of you is attracted to somebody else and the story plays on.   And there are very wonderful godly men and women who have gotten married with every purpose to stay together. But a wedge like this has grown over time to the point where they're now thinking about divorce or one of them has cheated on the other. And so, we have to be convinced that honoring God in our lives means prioritizing our marriage, and it means working on this intimate aspect of our marriage so that we can be a stable foundation for our families and our churches and our communities.   Laura Dugger: (24:26 – 24:39) And so, if we're getting as practical as possible, what are the best practices that you've seen in married couples who are happily married? How have you experienced that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (24:40 – 28:04) Yeah. I'll put it in kind of like a cliche sort of way because I think sometimes that's catchy. Number one, I would say they're couples who will resist the drift, who will repair the rift, and who will adjust to the shift.   So, I can kind of break that down a little bit. But you know, the first thing is resisting the drift of you can go weeks without meaningfully connecting with your spouse. And I don't just mean sexually, but I mean like eye to eye, you know, just loving touch, just connecting to their hearts. And so, couples who know how to resist that drift, like they have regular times built into their calendar where this is where we connect every day. Like even for 10 minutes, this is where we hold each other's hands, we look at each other in the eye, we really connect with what's in your heart, how are you? And they have regular rhythms of once a week or once every other week, we're going to go out and do something fun together, just the two of us. We've worked through what sex looks like in this season. Like how many times do we want to have sex? Are we scheduling that? How are we making sure that's a priority? And so, that's the resisting the drift.   And the second one is repairing the rift. And at every marriage, there are going to be things that tear you apart. And sometimes those things might be sexual in nature, like a temptation, an emotional affair, pornography use, sometimes it's going to be something else where you have a deep disagreement that you can't resolve on your own. And you need to be courageous enough to reach out for help and say, like, if we don't get help, if we don't address this issue, like it's going to become something that tears us apart. Any couple that you meet who is happily married for like 30 years or more, they can tell you a story of when they had a rift, and the kind of help that really address that.   And then I think the third thing is adjusting to the shift. And in even the normal stages of marriage, there are shifts that happen. Like, you know, I'm in the stage right now where me and the people my age are going through biological changes with menopause and with aging. And, you know, some people are going through becoming grandparents and retirement. And there's all these shifts that are happening even naturally. There's other couples that are younger who are going through the shift of pregnancy and battling infertility. And some people are going through cancer. And there are things that happen that require you to shift your expectations. And to not just wish that it is like it used to be. But this is the marriage we have now. Here are the circumstances we have now. Here are the bodies we have now. How do we learn to love each other and embrace this season, given the changes that we're experiencing?   And so, I think that's a framework that I've seen healthy couples navigate over time that really fosters intimacy.   Laura Dugger: (28:05 – 29:29) That is incredible. I love how you put that. And I've shared with you before that my background is in Christian sex therapy. So, sex is a topic that does come up a lot and people feel comfortable sharing or asking questions. So, just in regular conversation, I want to recap two conversations that kind of show stances on both ends of the spectrum. And I'd love to hear your wisdom on how to respond to each one.   So, first, there was a Christian married woman with children, and she was teaching younger women to say yes to every single sexual advance from their husband. And she said, “If your husband has the higher drive, and he wants to have sex twice a day, then consider yourself lucky. And don't ever say no, because your body is not your own.” Yeah, it's hard to recap. So, this is not my perspective. So, sharing both ends.   So, that was one person. And then on the other end, I've heard a woman tell me, “You know, I just didn't feel like having sex for about a year and a half after we had our baby. So, I just told my husband, you're going to have to wait.”   So, loaded question, but Dr. Juli, how would you respond to each of those?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (29:29 – 32:31) Well, Laura, I feel like you probably would have just as good of response as I would to those. Yeah, I like that you're presenting those as two extremes, because they are two extremes. And I think both extremes kind of miss the heart. We want to be able to say yes to sex and intimacy. And being able to say yes means also being able to say no.   In that first situation, essentially, what is going to end up happening is that that wife is going to start feeling like my husband wants me for sex. And I don't have the capacity to enjoy it twice a day. I'm starting to feel like an object or used. And the husband is never going to learn that covenant love requires self-denial. And at every level, you know, what did, what did Paul say to husbands in Ephesians 5, like love your wife as you love your own body and be willing to lay down your, your life for your wife. And that means being sensitive to the fact that she doesn't have the same sexual appetite as you do. She doesn't have the same biology you do, that it actually can be physically painful, emotionally traumatic for a wife to have sex when she's not physically ready. Really, that couple is not working on intimacy. They're, they're kind of reinforcing a pattern that sex is about the husband getting his needs and desires met only through the wife without considering her. And that might work for short term, but that's not building intimacy in the long term. And it's not teaching either of them. And that wife needs to learn her own sexual desires and patterns and be able to communicate those to her husband. So, that's what I would say in that first one.   And the second one, essentially, you have a wife kind of having that more selfish perspective of, I only have sex when I want it and on my terms, instead of considering the husband. And, you know, how do I focus on him? How do I work on experiencing sexual desire? How do I foster that? Because it's important for my husband, it's important for our marriage. And I don't want to be selfish.   And so, I think both of those situations are kind of approaching sex where one person gets to be selfish, and the other person has to sacrifice. That's ministry, that's not intimacy. And so, we really want to be at a place where both of us, the higher desire one and the lower desire one, are learning what does it look like to really love well, to love sacrificially and to communicate the ways that I feel loved. I don't know, what would you add to that or change?   Laura Dugger: (32:31 – 33:11) That's why I asked you, you said that beautifully, better than I could have responded. And again, you're getting back to the heart of it and pointing us back to Jesus with each answer. And, you know, commonly people do struggle with having a safe place where they can ask candid questions about sex.   So, I am going to throw some more at you. And some of these are ones that you wrote about. But just to give us a little taste, even of the book, or if somebody has a burning question like this, I'd love your healthy response.   So, how do you respond when people ask, “How far is too far to go in a dating relationship?”   Dr. Juli Slattery: (33:14 – 36:32) Yeah, I think people are looking for a line, you know, like, as long as I don't cross this line, are we good? And of course, I think their traditional line would be as long as you're not having intercourse. But I think that misses the larger context of the purpose of sex. I've had to be convicted of this in my own life. And we talked very early in our conversation about how we've just sort of ingested messages from the culture. And the culture says that healthy sexuality is an expression of how I feel, right? So, so if I feel safe with you, if I feel romantically connected to you, if I feel sexually attracted to you, then it would be healthy for me to engage sexually with you. And then Christians would come and say, yes, but as long as you don't cross this line. So, that's sort of the narrative that I think a lot of us have heard in the church.   But if we look at, from a biblical perspective, God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. Okay, let that sink in for a minute. God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. He designed it to be a seal and a celebration of covenant, of the choice that a man and a woman make to covenant their lives to one another. And for them to say, just like I give you my whole life, I promise faithfulness to you. I promise that we are becoming one as a family. We have now a physical way to symbolize that in becoming one with our bodies. And so, even if I feel romantically attached to somebody I'm not married to, I don't act on that. Or even if I don't feel romantically attached to my husband, we work on our sex life because we're in covenant.   And so, when you begin to understand sex from that standpoint, you answer that question differently of how far can I go? Why are you sharing your body with another person when you haven't shared your life with them? And, you know, I think that the standard is not legalistic, but the heart of the question is a lot, that's a harder question. You know, like it says, and I think 2 Thessalonians or 1 Thessalonians, you know, Paul says, the will of God is that you do not engage in sexual immorality. Don't take advantage of a brother or sister.   And how many times in dating relationships do you look back and you're like, “Wow, I gave too much of myself to that person or I took too much of myself from that person. Like we engaged in things that now we're broken apart. Like I wish I could take back.” And so, what does it look like to honor each other? What does it look like to honor the Lord? So, I think those kinds of questions help you get to the heart of how do we steward dating relationships a lot better than looking for a line we're not supposed to cross.   Laura Dugger: (36:33 – 37:31) When was the first time you listened to an episode of The Savvy Sauce? How did you hear about our podcast? Did a friend share it with you? Will you be willing to be that friend now and text five other friends or post on your socials anything about The Savvy Sauce that you love? If you share your favorite episodes, that is how we continue to expand our reach and get the good news of Jesus Christ in more ears across the world.   So, we need your help.   Another way to help us grow is to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Each of these suggestions will cost you less than a minute, but it will be a great benefit to us. Thank you so much for being willing to be generous with your time and share. We appreciate you.   As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? So, how would you respond to that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (37:32 – 39:20) Boy, this is a hot topic. There are people who have really strong opinions on this. You're saying, do I use a friend's preferred names and pronouns?   And I think the fact that you have a friendship means that you can have a deeper conversation about the meaning of the names and pronouns. And I think that deeper conversation needs to happen. Because, you know, ultimately we don't like, we don't want to just say, “Oh yeah, whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me. Truth doesn't matter.” But on the other hand, we really want to get to the spiritual issue underneath this. And there's a, there's a big difference between somebody who doesn't know the Lord, doesn't know where you stand on any of this, and somebody that you can engage in a conversation with and seek wisdom on.   I think there, there's probably more latitude to use somebody's preferred name than pronouns. And I think in friendships, sometimes you can work that through and just say, you know, “Hey, I love you. I understand where you're coming from. I'm going to try my best to use the name that you're asking. But the pronoun is something that I'm not comfortable with. And here's why. And just like I'm, I want to understand where you are. I hope that you would have grace and understand where I am.” So, in a friendship, you're able to have those kinds of conversations. Whereas if it's a coworker or it's a stranger or a neighbor, sometimes we can't have that level of conversation. And so, I, we might choose to handle the situation a little differently.   Laura Dugger: (39:21 – 39:36) That's good. A hundred percent truth, a hundred percent love or kindness. And what if somebody asks, how much attention should we be giving these secondary issues as believers?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (39:39 – 41:03) Boy, I, I think first of all, the secondary issues come out of the primary issues. So, the primary issue, and you know, the issue I wrote Surrendered Sexuality is about is if my life belongs to the Lord, then my whole life needs to belong to Him, including how I think about cultural issues, including how I treat my neighbor.   And so, I don't see them as secondary issues. I see them as an outgrowth of the primary issue. I think when they become secondary issues are when we argue with other believers about it and it becomes the most important thing. Like I put you in a category based on, will you use preferred names and pronouns? And then I think we're missing what God calls us to.   The primary issue is that we want to honor God and we want to love each other. And so, let's keep going back to that primary issue. How do I love my neighbor well? How do I honor God's truth well? How do I pursue unity within the body of Christ well, as we're navigating some of these secondary issues? So, you know, like if we're going back to the primary issue, it means that we have to talk about the secondary issues, but we talk about them in light of what's primary.   Laura Dugger: (41:04 – 41:17) I like that. And I just have three more of these kind of tricky questions. So, another one, does pornography addiction qualify as reasons for a biblical divorce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (41:20 – 42:50) I would say, first of all, technically, if we look at the word for sexual immorality in the scripture, which is porneia, we would say, yeah, you know, pornography does qualify for that.   But for the person who's asking this, maybe the woman who's asking this, I would say, why do you want to get out of the marriage? And what Jesus said is Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of your heart. And I think a more important question is where's your heart and where's your husband's heart? Because I've seen people with pornography addictions who have really open hearts towards healing, and they're willing to get the help that they need. They're repentant. They're willing to do the work. They're willing to go through even a time of separation to show that they're serious about that work.   And then there are people who have very hard hearts of, “This is who I am. I might go through the motions, but I'm really not interested in change.” And so, I think the pornography addiction is less the issue than the posture of the person's heart and their willingness to work. And if your spouse is willing to work, then I think it's on us to have soft hearts too, and to be open to the work that God can do.   Laura Dugger: (42:51 – 43:34) That's good because saying you have to zoom out and see more of the story in that stance, because that's very different. Somebody who's working on it and hates the struggle and is wanting to break free versus being married to a narcissist who is abusing you and treating you in a certain way and addicted to pornography. So, you point out well that all of these questions have more to them.   Okay. So, two more, if a spouse has had an emotional affair in the past with a coworker, but they still work with this person, what is the wise thing to do and how should they handle it if their spouse is uncomfortable with them still working there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (43:36 – 44:33) Yeah, boy, that's something that I would want to seek counseling on. You and your spouse really need to get with a counselor and talk that through. The generic advice in that situation would be to get a different job, to not have that relationship still a temptation or available.   But there are sometimes very extenuating circumstances where that's not a possibility, or at least for now, that's not a possibility. And so, I would really encourage you to meet with a third party to sort through the details of your particular situation. Because it could be that your spouse isn't willing to take that hard step of cutting off that relationship, or it could be that they're willing, but again, there's extenuating circumstances. And I would really want a wise person who is engaging with you to help you navigate that.   Laura Dugger: (44:34 – 44:44) But I love that, how you highlight that something to look for though, is that you would hope your spouse would be willing to make that right, especially if they were the offending.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (44:46 – 44:46) Okay.   Laura Dugger: (44:47 – 45:00) And then also, Juli, because scripture does talk about turning the other cheek, does that mean it's the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (45:02 – 47:41) Absolutely not. If you were in an abusive marriage, you are not doing your spouse any good. You are allowing your spouse to be in a place where they're destroying their own life and they're destroying the people that they love.   Now you say, okay, where biblically do we see this? We see that Jesus, he says in John, he says, “I laid down my life for my sheep. I lay it down willingly. No one has the authority to take it from me. I have the authority to lay it down and I have the authority to take it up again.” And we see Him living that out with religious leaders who were after Him all the time, who wanted to stone Him, who were accusing Him of things. It says over and over again that Jesus escaped from them. He just got out of there until it was time that the Father said, now is the time for you to give yourself for the world.   So, we take that principle and we say, Jesus was not abused. Jesus did not let Himself be abused. He gave Himself as a lamb to the slaughter as a sacrifice for the Father and for the world. But that's very different. Up until that time, we see Him have great boundaries. We see Him not get, it even says He didn't entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. I mean, He had boundaries with people that could have hurt Him.   And I also love when we see this in the story of King David and Saul, when Saul is chasing David, Saul is abusive, right? He wants to kill David. And so, David escapes. And there's a situation where David has the power or the opportunity to kill Saul and he doesn't do it. And then Saul just is struck by his conscience, and he comes back to David. He goes, “You're a better man than I am. I'm so sorry. You know, come back with me and I'll treat you well.” And even though David doesn't take revenge, he doesn't go back with Saul. He's still, he's like, “You go your way. I'll go my way. I'm going to let the Lord judge between us.”   And I think that's a great model. If you're in any kind of abusive relationship, you don't take revenge, but you also don't stay in that situation. You go your way, let them go their way, and you let God judge between you. And I think we see that over and over again in scripture.   Laura Dugger: (47:42 – 48:19) I think that is so well said. And it reminds me of a somewhat recent conversation in 2025 with Stacey Womack who's saying with domestic violence, really the way God would see it is child abuse. And that kind of helps our paradigm because we are His child.   And she elaborates on that. So, I said that that was the last one, but I actually thought of one more as it relates to our children.   So, is it reasonable to assume that once a child has a smartphone, 100% of them will be exposed to pornography?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (48:21 – 49:15) Yeah, it is. And I would say not just once they have a smartphone, because I know with one of my kids, we delayed the smartphone decision, but he had a learning disability that required him to have an iPad for school. And somehow, even though we locked down all the apps, somehow he's able to access it through that. Or it can be a gaming system, or it can be a friend's phone. And so, having a smartphone or device like that certainly makes it more probable.   But you know, like our kids are surrounded by screens and technology, not just what's in our home, but in other people's homes and at school. And so, I think it's safe to assume, unfortunately, that yes, 100% of our kids are going to be exposed to pornography, probably by the time they're 13 or 14.   Laura Dugger: (49:16 – 49:31) And sadly, some much younger than that. But even if there's parental controls, or filters put on, it is just something on my heart that we have to be so vigilant against.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (49:32 – 50:12) Yeah, no, I felt like when, you know, I have three boys, and when they were all three kind of in those teen years, I felt like I was trying to plug holes in a boat, and there'd be new ones popping up all the time. Whether it's like apps, or you know, things that you think are completely safe. Somehow, pornography can get through.   And our kids are smart, like they know the workarounds to the parental things. And that's why we just need to have conversation after conversation, just discipling them, not just protecting them from pornography, but discipling them through what they're inevitably going to be exposed to.   Laura Dugger: (50:13 – 51:05) That's a great point that not just being reactive, but proactive. I think why I have such a heart for this is because practicing and doing therapy and having so many people come in those wounds, that if that addiction gets a stronghold, and that pornography use, it just can wreak havoc in people long term. And so, if we can do that hard work of discipling early on, it is such a blessing to our children, to the generation.   So, I'm just so grateful for your candid responses. And I think it's also a helpful reminder just to never take on a burden that was never meant for us to carry. So, are there any ways that God has taught you to not try and do His business?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (51:07 – 52:16) Yeah. Boy, that's such a great question. I've had to come to the conclusion that I can't convince anyone of right and wrong. You know, like, I can't convince anyone that pornography is wrong, or gay marriage is wrong, or you know, like, that's not my job. My job is to walk with the Lord with integrity and faithfulness and to testify as to who He is.   And so much of this work, whether we're talking about marriage or our friends or our children, so much of this work has to be the Lord's work. And you reach a stage with your kids when they hit those teen years, where you realize the things my kids most need, I can't give them. I can't give them a relationship with God. I can't give them the desire to follow and seek the Lord. Like, I can model that for them. I can encourage them. But that is between them and the Lord. And if I try to control that, I'm just getting in the way of the work that God wants to do in their lives.   Laura Dugger: (52:18 – 52:33) Goodness, I will need to write that down and reflect on that. That is so good, Juli. And there's still so much more that you could share with us.   So, where is your preferred place that we can go online and continue learning from you?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (52:34 – 52:48) Yeah, I would say two places. Number one, our website is authenticintimacy.com. And the second one is the podcast that I do called Java with Juli. It goes along with The Savvy Sauce, you know, like they kind of go together.   Laura Dugger: (52:49 – 53:11) Yes, absolutely. We will certainly link to all of that in the show notes for today's episode.   And you're familiar, I've asked you many times before, because we are called savvy, because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. So, as my final question for you today, Dr. Juli, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (53:13 – 53:58) Oh, I don't even remember how I answered this the last few times. I think I may have said this before, but I think reading the dead old guys is one of my savvy sauce, like reading people who didn't live in this generation who loved the Lord.   And learning from them is just, that's probably taught me more discernment than anything, because they just cut right through the cultural noise that I think sometimes can blind us. And they really help me see my heart for what it is and help me really want to pursue God at a deeper level.   Laura Dugger: (53:59 – 54:03) Wow. Any specific recommendations that have been personal favorites there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:04 – 54:22) Yeah, I love A.W. Tozer. I love many of Andrew Murray's books, particularly Humility and Absolute Surrender. And C.S. Lewis is another great one, Mere Christianity. So, those are some that I would recommend you start with.   Laura Dugger: (54:23 – 54:44) That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that.   And Juli, it's just always such a delight to get to share an hour of conversation with you. And you are just this beautiful mixture of bold and gentle and humble, all combined into one. So, thank you for being my returning guest today.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:44 – 54:49) Oh, thank you. And it's such a pleasure to be with you. Thanks for your great questions.   Laura Dugger: (54:51 – 58:33) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Hey Guys, In this episode I explain how to prepare your time, zones, supplies and energy for decluttering your space. If you want deeper support, weekly guidance, and accountability, you can learn more about the Year-Long Program by clicking the link in the show notes. Episode Overview This episode kicks off Bedroom Week on Declutter Your Chaos. Throughout the week, you'll be guided through mindful decluttering sessions for the primary bedroom, with a clear plan so you're not guessing where to start or how to prepare. Before we declutter anything, today's episode focuses on preparation. You'll learn exactly how to set yourself up for success so the guided sessions on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday feel doable, contained, and effective. The mindfulness theme for February is self-worth. If you haven't listened to Episode 346, start there—it explores how self-worth impacts buying habits and how mindfulness helps interrupt that cycle. Today's Focus: How to Prep for Bedroom Decluttering You'll walk through four non-negotiable prep steps that make the actual decluttering sessions work. 1. Choose Your Time These are full decluttering sessions, not quick resets. Guidelines: Block 2–3 hours per session Plan as many sessions as you need for the space. Schedule them within a two-week window Consider: When your energy is highest (morning vs. afternoon) Likely interruptions (kids, partners, responsibilities) Not spacing sessions too far apart—dragging it out leads to frustration and burnout These sessions have a beginning and an end. Think of them like a short race, not a lifestyle you have to maintain forever. 2. Choose Your Zones Break the bedroom into clear, contained sections so each session has a defined focus. This week's zones: Tuesday: Floor (including bins or random items on the floor) Wednesday: Surfaces (dressers, nightstands, vanities) Thursday: Inside furniture (drawers, cabinets, storage inside the bedroom) You can adjust zones to fit your space—left/right sides, under the bed, specific furniture—but each zone should reasonably fit into a 2–3 hour session. 3. Choose Your Supplies You don't need much. Required: Post-its A marker or Sharpie Optional: Bags, boxes, bins, or piles—whatever helps you move quickly Post-its are essential so you can label categories clearly and avoid decision fatigue while you're decluttering. 4. Choose Your Energy This is about physical, mental, and emotional readiness. Get enough sleep Start when you're reasonably energized Shift how you're relating to the space Approach this with curiosity instead of pressure. Treat it as an experiment: What might you learn about yourself? What space might open up? What could become possible once things are cleared? The items you're letting go of belong to the past. The work you're doing is happening in the present—to create room for what comes next. Tomorrow, you'll be guided step-by-step through Zone One. If this episode would help someone you know, share it with them. See you tomorrow. Your Decluttering Year Program: If you would like more information about my year long decluttering program click HERE. If this episode helped you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs it. Download my free decluttering planner here: https://declutteryourchaos.com/decluttering-planner Let's connect:

In this episode, Hannah is interviewed on the BecomingHER podcast. She is sharing sex myths, vulnerable stories about her sex life, and tangible bedroom tools for women to have better sex. How to get more support from our team: https://hannah-deindorfer.mykajabi.com/90-day-intimacy-accelerator

Brittany sits down with renowned “Sex Professor” Nicole McNichols to talk honestly about intimacy at every stage — from postpartum body confidence and dry spells in long-term relationships to dating after divorce, sex on the first date, and the difference between situationships and friends with benefits. Dr. Nicole shares research-backed advice on communication, emotional connection, and how to stop overthinking in the bedroom so you can build healthier, more satisfying relationships.Please support the show by checking out our sponsors!Cowboy Colostrum: Get 25% Off Cowboy Colostrum with code REALITYHITS at cowboycolostrum.com/REALITYHITSHiya: Hiya Health: Receive 50% off your first order when you go to hiyahealth.com/REALITYHITSPura: Get a free Pura diffuser For Home Diffuser when you subscribe for 12 months at https://Pura.comDiscover Your New Home at apartments.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Check out our updated 2026 First Time Homebuyer's Episode Guide - Over 100 of our BEST Episodes of Detailed Homebuying Knowledge, Interviews, and MORE! Connect with me to find a trusted realtor in your area or to answer your burning questions!Subscribe to our YouTube Channel @HowToBuyaHomeInstagram @HowtoBuyAHomePodcastTik Tok @HowToBuyAHomeVisit our Resource Center to "Ask David" AND get your FREE Home Buying Starter Kit!David Sidoni, the "How to Buy a Home Guy," is a seasoned real estate professional and consumer advocate with two decades of experience helping first-time homebuyers navigate the real estate market. His podcast, "How to Buy a Home," is a trusted resource for anyone looking to buy their first home. It offers expert advice, actionable tips, and inspiring stories from real first-time homebuyers. With a focus on making the home-buying process accessible and understandable, David breaks down complex topics into easy-to-follow steps, covering everything from budgeting and financing to finding the right home and making an offer. Subscribe for regular market updates, and leave a review to help us reach more people. Ready for an honest, informed home-buying experience? Viva la Unicorn Revolution - join us!

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What's okay in the bedroom—and how are married couples supposed to know?  In this episode, Juli doesn't hand you a checklist. Instead, she walks you through three questions every couple can ask when navigating gray areas in the bedroom. From pornography and fantasy to sex toys and more, this conversation helps you discern where you may need to draw a line and where you may need to step out of your comfort zone. Joined by Hannah Nitz and Joe Caruso, this episode marks the kick off of a new series inspired by Juli's newly revised, upcoming book, 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Co-Hosts: Hannah Nitz, Joe Caruso What did you think of this episode? Leave us a rating and review in your podcast app.   Follow up resources: Check out our brand-new Hot Topic Kit: Pornography in Marriage. Blog: What's OK in the Bedroom? (Includes a list of what God has said "no" to) Book: God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery Book: Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? by Dr. Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Joe Caruso at @joecaruso06 Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy    

The very first step to a return to intimacy with your partner is TALKING about what's going on in your body and mind. Dr. Maria Sophocles continues her conversation with Jennie with practical tips and role playing ideas to open the door to more and better sex, desire and pleasure. Follow the "I Choose Me" Podcast on Instagram and TikTok Follow Jennie on Instagram, TikTok, and FacebookSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.