The Lenny and Tyler Show

Jaxi, Lenny, Macy, Gus, and Tyler talk about therapy and the benefits of being vulnerable as well as being there for one another. 

Lenny and Tyler catch up and touch on the categorical imperative, the Rock, and interpassivity. If you love this podcast maybe give it a shout out on social media and/or support it at patreon.com/lennyandtyler   Thanks!

Lenny talks a little bitcoin halfing. Tyler talks some country music. 

Jaxi pops in on this one bro! A little Trump, a little truth, and a little prayer time bro

Hey I'm switching things up. This is now the Lenny and Tyler Show!!!

I think the common reading of the new Joker film is, “Look how society grinds down a person and eventually causes some to snap.” But the better question is - why do some snap and others don't? It should be noted that when Arthur kills the 3 men who attack him on the subway, he does it in self defense and rage. It's only later that he begins to buy into the larger poetic causal narrative that others concoct in an attempt to make sense of the killings. In this sense what creates the Joker is not the contingent circumstances of his life, but rather his interpolation into an ideological structure or meta narrative. In the same way Hitler had lots of bad things happen to him and we say, “If only he had not been rejected from art school…” "If only he had a better upbringing…" and so on. But we could make that argument for anyone -- everyone faces hardships and rejection. It was rather Hitler's fascination with a poetic vision of a non antagonistic whole, unified society that drove him. That vision (of a unified society, obviously not his other goals) should inspire us as well -- we should strive to bring about a future in which the poor are not forgotten and overlooked, but we should always be on the lookout for rationalizing the existence of problems within our society as the effect of a cause that stems from a particular people group as Nazis did with the Jews. We must be careful not to scapegoat. Our fight is not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities. Whether in this presidency or the last, we easily think, “If only this administration were out, then we could set things straight.” But what if the antagonism is not contingent to the current “bad actors” but rather is constitutive of human life itself? Again my point is, we shouldn't merely critique the person in power (though we should call a spade a spade, we should oppose oppressive speech and acts, and there are better and worse ways of governing), but rather we should each think hard about the underlying narratives that drive us. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are usually not true. As Slavoj Zizek contends: it's false to think that without God, bad people would not do good things. On the contrary, it's actually only something like God or some other poetic meta narrative that can make good people do bad things. This is what we saw on 9/11. If you perceive yourself as an instrument of God, then of course you can employ whatever means necessary to reach the end you feel called towards. This is what Kierkegaard referred to as the teleological suspension of the ethical -- that God's plan trumps human morality. In other words, it's possible that God could call you to do something that you would never be able to reconcile with humanity's notion of right and wrong, like being called to sacrifice one's own son. Therefore a leap of faith is required.  Personally, I'm more and more convinced that the underlying temptation and super-egoic imperative for each of us is: To have it all. We run ourselves ragged fearing we'll miss out. Fearing we'll be seen as less than. Fearing we'll let others down. We see this temptation (to have it all) in the biblical garden story. We desire to be like God. That is: we desire a non antagonistic existence. We desire to lack nothing.  I pray that we might each take a second to stop, breathe, and experience grace for who we already are -- lacking, imperfect beings -- remembering that Jesus himself did not count equality with God as something to be grasped. We need communities in which we can lay bare our struggles and imperfections with others. I'd argue that Story Night is one such community. AA is another. My fear is this: now that this Joker movie exists -- if poorly understood -- it may become the poetic narrative which downtrodden citizens may find themselves in the grips of and will use to justify acts of violence.  We too must be very careful in the way we see ourselves as instruments of some higher vision. Ultimately, I am for giving one's self to a higher goal, but we must take extremely seriously what that higher goal is.  We should search earnestly, just as Soren Kierkegaard did, for, "the idea for which I can live and die." And if we find it, pursue it with fear and trembling -- seeking justice, loving truth, and walking humbly with our G(g)od.

Pure, infectious joy -- that's how I'd describe Brett Alexander. Listening through this old episode that I never got around to publishing makes me so happy. I hope you enjoy it too!

I think we should pursue things that bring us into deeper and higher love. And when we do fall, and our lives are in pieces perhaps we can remember that though we will never have the power to speak light into existence as God did when he said, “Let there be light,” may we be reminded in those most trying and downtrodden times and when we're tempted by that next thing that we fantasize will take away all our longings and problems we say what is fully in our power to say: “Let there be lack.”

Why do we fall so far short of human fulfillment?   "We fall away from what we could be, namely united in love through justice and truth, because we want to draw the whole world into ourselves and our finite reality. And this is the old doctrine of the paradise story, '...you will be like God,' that's the temptation."   -- Paul Tillich     "Wisdom is pagan!" -- Slavoj Zizek Why I am opposed to wisdom teachers   The apostle Paul's writings are, according to most scholars, the closest we get to the historical Jesus. Paul writes that he preaches only Christ crucified. It's as if what Jesus the man said and did while alive was of little interest to Paul. Paul never knew Jesus in the flesh like the disciples and others did, and so I can't help but wonder why he's not interested in the words and actions of this man whom Paul had come to believe was the Christ. Based upon his writings, I can't help but think that for Paul there must have been something far more profound in what the notion of Christ crucified means for humanity -- that this act was far more important than Jesus' words and miracles. Why?   I hear friends that are worn down in the grind of life express how burnt out they are. The words, “I kill myself, and kill myself, and kill myself,” are suspect to me lately. For I have a sneaking suspicion: What if the point of the bible, God's covenant with Israel, Christianity, and the idea of Christ crucified is to show us the impotence of our sacrificing and it's inability to bring about the arrival of whatever ideal future we strive for and always miss? What if the point of Christianity is to break this frenetic obsession and belief in this form of destructive sacrifice? We think “if only this thing were different, if only they weren't here, if only I had this one thing … then everything would be great.” ... “I'll be happy when...” Such thoughts fail to recognize the radical saving grace of Christ crucified.     The reality and insistent nature of death was once felt far more than we now experience. “...Here hung the lips  that I have kissed I know not how oft.” - Hamlet says while holding the skull of Yorick, his father's old court jester. It's been a while since I've held the skull of someone I once knew. The people of old experienced the wonders and horrors of nature and felt the anxiety of fate and death. They lived pondering the enigmatic nature of their world. Floods, droughts, disease, heartache, and inexplicable calamities of all kinds cause humans to ask, “why?” We seek meaning from such incomprehensible effects, and in this unknowing we look around for a cause. We offload, finger point, analyze, project, scapegoat and kill something or someone in the hopes that a better future is just around the corner. It is for us most difficult to abide God's silence.   Fearing God's wrath, the people of old sacrificed goats and slaves, and virgins, and children desperately seeking to appease God for hope of better days to come. Have we in 2019 come any further? Or do we throw ourselves and others against the sacrificial wall, seeing what latest diet, guru, and wisdom sticks around the longest? Do we not still point to various groups of people believing everything would be better if they weren't here … or everything would be great if they could just see things the way I see things ... if they'd just believe how I believe? Despite the insistence upon meditation or the newest fad in self help the words, “I kill myself, and kill myself, and kill myself,” ring on.   Christ crucified breaks apart the need for scapegoats, gurus, and rules for life and thus is radically anti wisdom. Any prescription that overlooks this beautiful gift and sends a person on a path to self fulfillment by way of additional striving is idolatrous and is akin to the serpent's lie and our subsequent temptation to be like God.

“It is by grace you have been saved.” -- Though I saw these words written by the apostle Paul long ago, I only just now feel their vibration within me. I contend that regardless of whether or not one believes in God or an afterlife, it is possible to experience the truth of these words. Setting aside any hope of future heavenly treasures or fear of condemnation and the agony of eternal torment, I believe the existential power, thunder, and life giving meaning of these words can be brought into this life here and now.  Because of the work of the great 20th century theologian Paul Tillich, I've come to understand sin in a new way. Tillich defines sin as separation -- separation from God, from self, from our neighbor. Because some of us do not believe in the existence of the divine, I won't write of the notion of separation from God but will instead focus on separation from self and separation from others and then will return to the apostle Paul's words that I've included above.  That we feel separation from our own selves at first seems nonsensical. How can I be separate from myself? But upon second consideration I realize that so often I do in fact feel separation between who I am and who I wish was. I wish I was taller. I wish I was in better shape. I wish I was richer. I wish I was in a loving, exciting, romantic relationship. I wish I was bigger, better, and stronger at just about anything I can imagine. The distance between these two selves: my actual self, and my idealized self creates within me sadness and guilt for having fallen short. (Sin also translates: to miss the mark) The distance between my present self and my future self that will one day face death, and the fact that I lack the knowledge of what death will be like, how it will happen, whether or not loved ones will hold my hand as I pass, and the enigma of what lies beyond produces in me anxiety. I'm worried by the questions: Am I living up to my potential? Will I ever find love? Does painting or anything even matter? The separation I've felt at times from my friends, my mother, my father, my brother, and ex-girlfriends has led to the most torturous days and sleepless nights -- the grinding of teeth and the wishing that I or they hadn't said what was said or done what was done fills me with longing and regret. But when I return to those words, “It is by grace you have been saved,” and read Tillich's definition of grace as acceptance, and then ask myself: can I accept that I am not who I wish I was? Can I be okay with being misunderstood? Can I be okay being alone? Can I be okay with the fact that there is separation between they and I? Can I be okay with not having certainty in the midst of life's unceasing questions? I take in a deep breath, and a ‘yes' rises within me and the guilt of having missed the mark and having fallen short of my ideal self melts away.  And so if the power of grace is, as Tillich claims, the acceptance of acceptance, and if sin is separation -- I can thus say it truly is by grace that I am saved from this lonely, separated, sinful heart of mine.  When thought of in these terms, I see the radical saving power of acceptance at every Story Night when someone -- in vitality of spirit and with the courage to be -- steps forth and shares. It's one thing to be in a room of acceptance, it's another to find oneself having accepted that acceptance. I see it in every love-filled conversation between two or more people. I know it's present when two heartbroken friends find consolation in the warm embrace of the other. To witness someone accept the acceptance is nothing short of a miracle and is, I believe, the manifestation of the Kingdom of God and the joy of my heart. Tyler

This week I just barely dip my toe into exploring the difference between Jung and Freud. With the upcoming Peterson vs Zizek debate, I'm interested in unpacking what I've learned so far ... which admittedly isn't much. Any input is much appreciated. 

I don't really have much to share this week. But nonetheless, I'm gonna publish something ... my happiness depends upon it!!!!!

This week I sat back and ate pizza while my friend Claire Overholt talked with Daniel Keys about childhood interests, a career in art, and how art and design touches each of our lives everyday. 

This week Parker Brown swung by the house for some coffee, some good conversation, and to share a couple tunes as he and I prepare for the opening of Portal at Montana Gallery. 

This week we touch on Lacan's notion of objet petit a. For me this is an important concept and can be partly understood through studying Rene Magritte's painting, "The Son of Man." I plan to give a talk on this at the gallery in the coming weeks. This episode was a way for me to think out loud so that I can come to know whether I'm making any sense or not. 

Here's a quick reflection on Paul Tillich's Courage to Be and his distinction between anxiety and fear. 

The rose is without why; it blossoms because it blossoms; It cares not for itself, asks not if it's seen.

This week my roommate and I shoot the breeze and discuss Hegel and other things we have surface level understandings of. 

Thank God, at times I'm graciously reminded that I'm small, not by cause of other people's belittling remarks or actions, but because I see the stars above, the mountains before me, the mass of humanity to my back and those unborn that have already and will one day turn to dust. In these ways I remember I'm small. The universe refuses to let us make sense of it. Quantum mechanics can't be reconciled with Einstein's theory of relativity. In my own life, every-time I think I've got things figured out I'm up-ended. Explanations of the horrors of this life fall flat, and yet this is all so indescribably beautiful! It inspires poets and painters to take up the never-ending task of trying to tell us about it.

It's easy to get so caught up in the day to day demands on our lives and I often forget what it feels like to sense that life is meaningful. But then I think back on times I'm connected with others ... times when they and I could naturally be our authentic, lonely, insecure selves with no fear of judgment. In these moments I sense that my very presence increases delight and decreases suffering for others and they're presence does the same for me. I marvel at these moments and long for them.

Jean Paul Sartre, was a somewhat controversial 20th century thinker. He claimed that "being precedes essence" which means we are all "condemned to freedom" ... In this episode I try to my best to explain what the heck that means and what value these ideas may have today. 

I changed the name of the podcast from "The Montana Gallery Podcast" to ... "The Lonely Painter Podcast" ... I did this for a handful of reasons. Mainly, I want to do what I can to help make the world a little less lonely for others. I think one way we can accomplish this is by admitting to our own loneliness, our uncertainties, insecurities, and our mistakes. 

This week my friend and Billings based photographer, cinematographer, artist, poet Mary Kate Teske and I catch up. 

This week I tried my best to answer a few emailed in questions and then went over a few more with Ken and Richie as we sat in Chico Hotsprings...hotsprings sound so nice right now, especially after having just fallen down my studio stairs.

Like the title says, this week it's mostly nonsensical ramblings. There might be one or two halfway decent thoughts in this somewhere. 

My friend Garth swung by to use my internet, little did he know he'd have to defend his love of Jordan Peterson to me... Whether you like him or not, Peterson is making huge differences in the lives of so many people today. Thank you Garth for taking time out of your work day to engage with me and help me to understand why so many people do find him very helpful to their lives. 

In this episode I share a couple stories about times I felt humiliated or really awkward or small and how sharing stories like this can help us bear the hard parts of life -- that in sharing about the wounds of our past, they are in some way robbed of their sting.