The Real HouseBears Podcast

The Icing on the Brain Cake is a few audio issues this week, but we're here, we're queer, and we're recording this podcast. This week Hunter thinks that one of the husbands is Evil Ken. Papa the Bear breaks his straight guy reality tv rule. We both debate Brain Party vs Mocking God Party. Put down your pickleball paddle and tune in to this week's episode. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

The Housebears are back and so glad to be talking about our favorite topics: Housewives and ourselves. This week, we're cathcing up with the Housebears. Hunter's proposing Vanderpump parallels with this season of #RHONJ. Papa the Bear is Patient Zero in his college horror story. We're both wondering when Frank is going to come back into our lives. Don't be a has-been; be a double sided dildo with us! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We finally get answers in part 3 of the #RHOSLC Reunnion, but we are left with even more questions. This week, Hunter ponders if Mary dives into the women's insecurities to hide her own. Papa the Bear wonders if Monica would be any good on Traitors. We both need to know if Meredith ever got an apology from the women for believing the Greek Mafia DMs were from her. We are taking a short break now that the season is over, but we'll back before you can churn butter by hand. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

Bravo might be saving all of the juicy bits for part 3 of the reunion, but we are giving you all of our juicy bits for part 2. This week, Hunter has opinions on mothers who smother. Papa the Bear thinks that Jack Barlow has comedy. Both of us think that Mary has poor judgement of Whitney. Join us for another week of laughs and Dumb Bitchery. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

Reunited and it feels so good, at least for the Core 4. This week, Hunter uses Monica's own words against her. Papa the Bear explains how Lisa's ring saved Henry's life. We both have many people to thank and make #HousebearsFamous. We watched the uncensored version of the #RHOSLC reunion part 1, so expect a little less censorship from us this week. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

This was possibly the best episode of The Real Housewives in Housewives history. It was definitely the best finale. This week, Hunter is convinced that not only does Monica find the dirt on these women, but she also found Lisa's ring. Papa the Bear explains why he thinks about Heather Gay during sex. We both debate whether Monica should come back next season. Recap this mind-blowing episodes with more dramatic queens from Salt Lake City. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We'd rather be Swimming with the Fishes than miss recapping this week's #RHOSLC. This week, Hunter is a gay reindeer with a shiny nose. Papa the Bear is curious about the anatomy of Justin Rose's nose. We both hope that our anatomy doesn't get exploited, but we kind of hope it does. Who knows? It's our last episode of the year. Happy Holidays from The Housebears! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

You'll have a Blue, Blue Christmas without our recaps of episode 13, Bermuda Views and Bathtub Blues and episode 14, Bermuda Birthday Blues. This week, Hunter admits that his core issue with Housewives is jealousy. Papa the Bear is taking a Bible Break. We both give insight into Heather's sexual boundaries. Hook up the IV and get your makeup done. It's time to rally! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

If We Could Churn Back Time, we might have recorded an episode last week instead of stuff ourselves with food. Instead, we have another supersized episode to match our supersized guts. This week, Hunter is not interested in traditional Pioneer cuisine. Papa the Bear claims to be Heather's best match. We both continue to share our love of Lisa Barlow. We have some new sound equipment, and offer an Icy Apology for the new equipment learning curve. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We want Mormons to Get a Good Rap, so we completely support a Lisa Barlow Hip Hop Christmas album. This week, Hunter is the star of the episode. Papa the Bear hears with all the colors of the wind. We both think that Heather's castmates should read her book. Don't be loose like Mary's wig; this #RHOSLC recap is tight. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We stand with Beauty Lab + Laser and give an admittedly one-sided recap of this week's #RHOSLC episode. We're in between work trips and Papa the Bear's birthday weekend in Portland, so The Real Housebears are going raw once again. This week, we have a lot of opinions about the Don't Come for My Sound Bath episode, but it's really all about Papa the Bear's birthday...at least to Papa the Bear it is. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We're back after a week off, and ready for some Moms, Missions, and Mayhem. This week, Hunter finds Monica's long lost sister. Papa the Bear thinks the truth is somewhere in the middle. We both choose our favorite lines of the show. We're as happy to be back in the Hot Closet as Monica's mom is to be on television. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

The finale of #RHONY marks a new season for The Real Housebears, and now it's all about #RHOSLC. This week, Hunter discovers that he is a Greek dancer. Papa the Bear thinks that Angie K is giving us classic Housewives. We both want to get loud with Seth. This highest rated season of Salt Lake City is like an Olive Branch to viewers without the Thorns. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

Suprise! We have been Connecticut-ing the Dots and realized that a few dots weren't connected. We decided to give the #RHONY finale it's own special episode so that we could give the ladies of RHONY the respect and attention they deserve. This week, Hunter thinks that people In the Know wear their masks to a masquerade party. Papa the Bear is recovering from Bumper Car PTSD. We both make some wrongs right to give a more fair and balanced perspective of our past Anguilla recaps. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

You might have heard the Après Rumor that we've had a Night at Swingers, but we've actually just been hairy, sweaty bear missionaries. This week, Hunter is trying to save a Jonas Brother from the Whale. Papa the Bear is challenging Mary to a choir sing-off. We both think we're going to try Heather's Snow Diet. Check out another week of your drunk uncles recapping your favorite shows. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

The Nastiness and Rumors are true. We are not Well Healed coming back from vacation, but we're here, we're queer, and we're doing this podcast! This week, Hunter believes that conversations about threesomes equal healthy relationships. Papa the Bear thinks that Mary Cosby needs to host a Weakest Link reboot. We both think that we'd be pretty compatible friends with Erin and Abe. We'll do whatever you want to get you to listen to this week's #RHONY and #RHOSLC recap...as long as you have an agreement. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We had the great pleasure of chatting with "Abe the Babe" Lichy, Erin's husband, from The Real Housewives of New York. Abe is a hidden gem on the show with a wide variety of skills and interests. In addition to taking Abe's Bravo podcast virginity, we also find out who he is inviting into his bedroom. The music takes us over with the Lichy Nuts and Abe's DJing skills. We all want to take an Ultimate Guys' Trip together. Chatting with Abe was one of the easiest conversations we've ever had, and we are thrilled to know more about the man behind the Housewife. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

Don't Be A Drag; hang out with the Housebears as we solve the Case of the Missing Phone. This week, Hunter explores his embarrassment kink. Papa the Bear is experiencing a Nightmare on Groundhog Day. We both have been ruined by @drunkdrawn on Instagram. We're back from vacation and ready to fill your week with more Housebears than you ever knew you needed. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

The Housebears are back on the road this week, so that means you get this week's #RHOSLC and #RHONY recap early. That also means No Tricks and All Trust for another raw and unedited episode. This week, Hunter's 23 and Me test reveals that he is the lycan spawn of Ubah and Brynn. Papa the Bear crowns the true Lucy and Ethel. We're both feeling Naughty-ical by Nature knowing that what we say won't be edited out. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We're back in the Hot Closet, but we'd rather be crashing a Housewives Vacation in Palm Springs or Anguilla. This week, Hunter is in a hairy situation at the dinner table with Ubah. Papa the Bear relates to Monica's shopping needs. We both think we should be on Meredith and Seth's Hanging by a Thread Podcast. There's Nothing Vanilla about our RHOSLC and RHONY recaps. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We're having a difficult time keeping it Business Classy because we're so excited about the RHOSLC season 4 premiere! This week, Hunter wants to spend Christmas in Rockefeller Center. Papa the Bear finally finds out if Lisa Barlow has cooked eggs since last season. We're both hungry for sushi nachos. Once again we are away from the Hot Closet, but we couldn't miss this most important week. Our excitement level is so high that we're like Cocaine Bears with some Fresh Powder and a Fresh Start. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

If you Wreath What You Sow, then we must be sowing good times with a lot of laughs. This week, Hunter is Brynn, but has also joined Team Jessel. Papa the Bear appreciates that Erin is doing her job. We're both still waiting on our Jenna Lyons gift basket. We're not in the Hot Closet this week, so this #RHONY recap is raw and uncut. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We are absolutely Not Sorry for getting emotional during the Grand Finale of Crappie Lake. This week, Hunter faces his biggest fear: becoming Jessel. Papa the Bear wants to attend a school that has both international campuses and celebrity students. We both think that Craig from Benton has had a bigger arc than most Housewives. Don't miss this week's #RHONY and #CrappieLake recaps by Reality Television Superstars, The Real Housebears. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

You don't have to worry about us being Fashionably Absent this week. It's Christmas in July in the Hot Closet, where the heat and humidity match Benton, Illinois. This week, Hunter shows off what a chess expert he is. Papa the Bear explains why Jessel is not the new Ramona. We both still wonder how many Housewives it takes to screw in a lightbulb. Relax in the Luann Suite and let the Housebears do all of the heavy lifting. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

It's easy to have creative differences when you know that you're the most Brynnteresting person in the room. This week, Hunter wants more traditional food for Friendsgiving. Papa the Bear wants to know who told Brynn about the first six months of her life. We both are really enjoying getting to know the ladies of #RHONY. We practiced with Courtney Cox for a full 30 minutes. Don't miss it! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

We're Taking Care of Business with this week's recap of #RHONY and #CrappieLake. This week, Hunter is Feeling Jovani. Papa the Bear is giving his hall pass to David, the trainer. We both play Two Truths and One Lie. This week's episode is hotter than a fresh plate of Shakshouka. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

It's Christmas in July in the Hamptons for the ladies of #RHONY. This week, Hunter wonders if this season is going to be PartyFoodGate. Papa the Bear thinks that Jessel might be in the Friendzone. We both talk about which HouseHusbands we would hook up with if we met them at BravoCon. You don't have to love caviar to love our take on this week's episodes of The Real Housewives of New York and #CrappieLake --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

Now that we had our soft opening, we're as ready to jump into the new season of #RHONY as Sonja is into jumping on Billy. This week, Hunter wants to spend some time in Jenna Lyons' closet. Papa the Bear wants Sonja and Luann to reconsider the name for Crappie Hour. We both wonder what cheese ever did to any of these ladies. Don't be weird; catch this week's RHONY and #CrappieLake recap from The Real Housebears. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

Despite the announcement of our Season 10 premiere in this week's episode, it is actually our Season 9 premiere. Bears can't do math. Thank goodness this is just our soft opening. This week, Hunter is certain that Benton, Illinois is a time warp to 2005. Papa the Bear is ready to film CSI: Benton. We're both excited about a new season, but we miss Frank Catania already. Join us this week as we recap where we've been, what we've missed, and our plan looking ahead to season 9…or 10 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/therealhousebears/support

If you've listened to The Real Housebears Podcast, then you know what huge fans of Frank Catania we are. You can only imagine our excitement when we got to interview the Legend himself. This week, Hunter commits to Frank being his number one Bravolebrity. Papa the Bear relates to being a man of a certain age. Frank tells us about his post-reunion meeting with Luis. Frank was even more enjoyable than we could have ever hoped. Take a listen and fall in love with Frank all over again. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

It's a super-sized episode, because we have more to say about the #RHONJ reunion episodes 2 and 3 than we have ever had for Housewives reunions. This week, Hunter explains why Luis must be shirtless. Papa the Bear is confused about the difference between a chair troll and a chair gremlin. We both want to get a house with Frank. We're both currently on different sides of the country, but we couldn't possibly miss the chance to chat Housewives. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

Does it feel so good to be Reunited? This week, Hunter supports the reasons why Teresa and Louie should stay on the show. Papa the Bear supports keeping the Gorgas. This reunion might not have been "fun," but our recap certainly is. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

Don't you dare bring up Joe Gorga when Teresa's Getting Married. This week, Hunter realizes he's the Frank in a relationship with his ex. Papa the Bear is warming up to Paul. We both want the Ambien Sisters to speak at our vow renewal. This week's episode will send you Sade, so tune in. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

This week's episode of #RHONJ should be renamed Red Faces of Fury. This week, Hunter is wearing Joe Gorga's clothes and walking on his knees to make Melissa Gorga feel safe. Papa the Bear wants to take Louie's blood pressure. We both have some BIG NEWS to share. Get your cocktail ready for this week's game "Sips with the Sociopath." --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

We're back like a rat in the streets wearing a bridesmaid's dress and making a mess. This week, Hunter is extra worked up about Jennifer Aydin's privilege and Louie's narcissism. Papa the Bear has conflict between his Housewives Head and his Housewives Heart. We both discover that we are Stage 10 Co-Clingers. This episode is as well done as Brittany's steak...bon appetit! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

Sláinte will bring you good health. Catching cock will bring you good luck. The Real Housebears will bring you a healthy dose of both. This week, Hunter wants to play with Frank's vein. Papa the Bear is experiencing Vanderpump Rules trauma. We both come up with Rachel Fuda's tagline for next season. Are you going to get Melissa Gorga wine drunk or Jersey Husband high? Either way take a ride with us as we fly between New Jersey and Ireland. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

It's the return of The Real Housebears: RAW. No edits. No sound bites. No rats. This week, Hunter and Papa the Bear are returning home from Heather Gay's Bad Mormon Book event. The message was inspirational. The choir was powerful. The Vida Tequila was flowing. Over in Ireland with the ladies from New Jersey, Papa the Bear likes a Melissa Gorga / Jennifer Aydin duo. Hunter would never talk back to Dolores. We're both still gushing about the new girls. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

This week's episode of #RHONJ features an Italian Invasion of Ireland, and The Real Housebears recap features a Bearvasion of the Hot Closet. This week, Hunter gifts us with the name "Chair Gremlin" for the Aydins' therapist. Jen Fessler has Papa the Bear singing Soprano. We both think that Suzie and Emma are the Coca Cola to Ultimate Girls' Trip's Pepsi. Make sure to check out this week's episode to see where The Real Housebears might be near you. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

We are so glad to be back having Coffee Talk in the Hot Closet! This week, Hunter explains why Louie wants "it to rub the lotion on its skin." Papa the Bear is confused if the coffee is Turkish, the Coffee Reader is Turkish, or both. We both agree that the new ladies fit in nicely, but Jenn Fessler is our favorite newbie. Spending time away is tough; almost as difficult as it is for the Gorgas to line up the windows in their new home. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-real-housebears/support

If our Housewarming History Lessons have taught us anything, it's that who doesn't attend matters as much as who does. This week, Hunter thinks that it's time for Dolores to start breaking bed posts. Papa the Bear is happy that taglines are finally here. We both explain why Jennifer Fessler is our favorite of the new cast members. We don't need anyone to write down how to communicate how we feel about this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-real-housebears/support

We're just Boys Being Boys recapping #RHONJ in the Hot Closet. This week, Hunter wants to sit on the Easter Bunny's lap. Papa the Bear is grossed out by sexual cheese. We both think Olivia deserves a raise on her allowance just for being fabulous. Check in with us to make sure we're earning our keep. We're sure you'll want to give us a raise too. Make sure to check out our merch at RealHouseBears.redbubble.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-real-housebears/support

Who wants to talk about Family, Family, Family when you have sweaty thighs? In this week's recap of #RHONJ Hunter declares Teresa's wedding day as T-Day. Papa the Bear loves all Housewives, except for one. Neither of us think that making Mozzarella is all that sexy. Even though Frank is not in this week's episode, we still have plenty to talk about. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-real-housebears/support

A new season of #RHONJ means new taglines for the Housebears. This week, Hunter really, really, really wants to comfort Frank while he's feeling detached from Dolores. Papa the Bear thinks the cast needs more time between filming the reunion and starting the new season. We're both getting tongue tied on the names of the newbies. This premiere episode had New Friends with the Same Jersey, which means the Housebears are excited for some new sound bites with some classic Jersey gold. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-real-housebears/support

It's the end of season 3 of #RHOSLC and we're already looking forward to season 4. This week, Hunter gives whole new meaning to the term "Turtle Time." Papa the Bear wonders where Heather's producers are. We both know two bears that might be Seth's perfect replacement for Brett Favre. Join us for a light-hearted recap on a heavy-hearted season.

After a week off, we're finally getting out of our K-hole to recap this week's #RHOSLC Reunion: Part 1. This week, Hunter wonders which gays are talking to the ladies of Salt Lake City. Papa the Bear has Madonna Fever. We're both ready to stream Lisa's Christmas EP. We might already be looking ahead to the husbands coming next week, but stop and smell the Roses with us for part 1.

We're going to talk about the Trials and Tribulations in this week's season finale, but not the trials and tribulations that you thiiiiiink. This week, Hunter longs for a World According to Lisa Barlow. Papa the Bear is on his own healing journey with some season finale PTSD. We both are reflective on a life changing season. You think you know what was happening at Heather's Book Cover Reveal party, but you have no idea.

This week's #RHOSLC episode recap might be full of Unfashionable BEARhavior, but we "don't want to talk about it."

We're not telling you a White Lie when we say that we have solved the case of Who Gave Heather the Black Eye.  This week, Hunter has one photo in his hands. This photo represents the woman who is still in the running to become America's Next Top Model.  Papa the Bear is excited to become a shirt.  We both agree with Heather that charcuterie is no longer cutting it.  We're as confused as Angie K trying to understand an SEC filing, but we'll do our best to clear it all up for you this week.  

IT'S OUR 100TH EPISODE!!! and what better way to celebrate than with the ladies of Live Love Lab? This week, we take a trip to the mothership, Beauty Lab + Laser, and have a Dreather Hardenwood reunion. We talk with Heather about the release of her book Bad Mormon. Dre catches us up to speed on the second Beauty Lab location. We also share our love for choir and our vision for the future. Enjoy our lovefest as we reminisce on our relationship from our first meeting all the way to filming The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City together.

You won't flip-flop on our non-toxic take on this week's High Stakes and Friendship Breaks. This week, Hunter is suspicious about how World Famous this Coastal Cuisine actually is. Papa the Bear is confident about Whitney's core strength. We both think Lisa has made analogies work in a Housewives world. This week's recap is meatier than a charcuterie board in Salt Lake City; you don't want to miss it.

Jen Shah isn't the only one throwing High Heels on the High Seas. This week, we have Hunter throwing high heels out of the Hot C. Papa the Bear brings it back to stuffed grape leaves. We have a huge announcement about our upcoming 100th episode. Hide your husbands and get out your Clorox Wipes; the Fun Police are here!