Uninformed Opinion

Seth and Taylor sit down with Uninformed Opinion intern/producer, Austin “Stin” Dunlap, to rehash Stin’s favorite moments from Season 1. He compiles a list of his favorite quotes from Season 1, and then Seth and Taylor recreate these moments with some improviser pals. We’re confident that it’s pretty accurate. “This was never going to work well.” Starring: MC - Sami Lane; Improvisers - Emma Lambiase, Riley Noonan, Kristopher Wente Live Audio - Intern Hans Live from Simon’s Sex Dungeon (11.13.19) Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We knock this one out of the park dunking on our favorite sports statistics. Then WXNA’s Drew Wilson comes on to talk the nerdy side of sports, measuring sports with lasers, and the power of community in sports. #cantruboffonghosts #fullminecraft #marilynmansonmyself #deuceyourselfsomedamage #jordanfistman #whitejesuscantjump #getthosegeese #woomebaseballdaddy Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Chris Hauser, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: Google settles once and for all what the best James Bond film is, plans to colonize the Moon get sticky, we compare our favorite albums of 2019. #escapingmrcraig #preexcitement #dontbelieveyourboyfriend #spiderbiscuit #bringthemoonbacktoearth #drakeuptheleaves #georgeraperapemartin  Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We meditate on the basic tenets of Buddhism and the surprising history of the Buddha. Then former Buddhist monk, Court Donner, comes on to talk Buddhism, suffering, and his monastic experience. #outonanappendage #anyonebutbuddha #davebuddhista #buddhistabelly #realhousewivesofbuddha #woodsislife Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We sit down with a true expert in his field, professional 7-year-old Micah, to talk about anthropomorphized colors, aging gracefully, sharing your friends, and a day in the life of a 7-year-old. THIS EPISODE IS FAMILY FRIENDLY. #darkblueday #notagemini #laydownandfighther #skurn #lookingprettybounty Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We abstain from ignorance and chastely chase down all the facts you need about purity culture. Then musical/visual/fashion artist and host of Impurity, Sami Lane, comes on to talk sex (mis)education, reclaiming and exploring your sexuality, and their new podcast Impurity! #knowledgesandwiches #eastcoastmilkmaid #madmilkman #purrityring #chastityyogurt #boinkers #yachtze #wigglingthelordsweiner Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Collin Pierce, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: an astronomical love affair that could prove disastrous for Earth, powerful news for your gut health, stealthy new strategies to win the oldest game of all, teenage tricks for hiding vaping revealed. #mormondrones #orickman #downstairssalmonella #christlist #yourejustapileofclothes #craveablecottoncandywatervapor Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We magically make known the secrets of Patreon. Then musical artist, Austin James AKA the Slow Drag, comes on to talk his musical journey and engaging directly with your fans. #angelsanddevins #milkguy #mydownstairslibrary #psychicleech #milkdaddy #youcanbetheslowdragtoo #awstome Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Jackson Thrive, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: Netflix finds serious competition from a surprising source, a shocking revelation regarding Winston Churchill’s origins, everyone loves nougat - but at what price?, an insider look at Roger Federer’s tennis obsession. #suckitashton #pimplemyface #bootyjuice53 #commodetion #thebrowntruth #nougatwonderland #federererocher #cantscoopsoup Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We furiously fantasize about furry culture. Then sociologist, bassist, and beekeeper, Becky Conway, comes on to talk furries, identity, and some good ol’ love and acceptance. #motherfuckling #ghostroi #rayjackney Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Abby Rosenberg, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: which home improvement store will best prepare you for Hurricane Dorian, a surprisingly boring real life origin story for a beloved DC villain, the baby craze in the synthesized meat industry, Vatican secrets revealed. #shovelyourmeatytruths #hardtobehere #hughsnotyourdaddy #babybranzino #impossibaby #bonecement #turntheotherbeak Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We rehash our own personal run-ins with cults. Then singer and guitarist for Village Geniuses, Jonni Greth, comes on to talk cults and get into his own religious experiences. #rodstewartpregnancycast #hardcondition #benadrill #habitatforhorsemanity #rockpowerbottom #fascinazing #viscouscycle Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Emma Lambiase, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Also, Intern Hans might have been there. We don’t remember. Featuring: our favorite VR games of the summer and guest astrology expert, Starling Big Astro, unpacks your horoscopes on a hot new segment called Uninformed Horoscopes. #ehsimon #wowimsotiny #quititkyle #supermariobrosinchrist #hititandquititkyle #starlingbigastro #taurusclench #heypisces Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We whet your whistle with a wealth of whiskey wisdom. Then whiskey expert, bartender extraordinaire, and fellow podcaster, Kala Ellis, comes on to talk history, different types, and how to properly taste whiskey. #trianglewithlegs #roadbehind #jeffreydahmerandcoke #undergroundturtlepeople #nocrannies #wakemeupinsides Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and special guest expert, digital farmer Chucky Bumpers, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: farmers pivot their efforts from the cornfields to the internet, a shocking reason not to save for retirement, just one more reason not to flush meth down your toilet, space tourism gets a makeover. #youchewbed #bitcorn #downstairsroyals #morningfop #bloodaldrin Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We roll big on the creation of role-playing games and even play through an example game of our very own. Then Josh Unruh and Keith Potempa of the Heroes Guild come on to talk RPGs, story-telling, and teaching morality, ethics and teamwork to kids through cooperative games. #shirtbeards #maineboy69 #reallypopularguys Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: the who's who of animals to avoid on Instagram, Seinfeld's marital secrets, a baseball manager's elaborate attempts to maintain his roster, trapped passenger is all the rage on twitter. #followyournos #turchildren #bashlash #eatfreshchildren  Outro: Cretin Beacon "would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?" soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We christen you with the history of Theater’s Total American Christianity. Then pastor and history professor, Noah Stepro, comes on to talk faith, community, contextualizing the Bible, and autism spectrum disorder. #420bratzdollsblazeitemporium #foybriend #theaterstotalamerican #thenewcruiseaids Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Hope Cantwell, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: a surprising celebrity publicity stunt deshelled, some fascinating ‘90s movie trivia, a gooey diagnosis of modern life, breaking down the frontrunners for the biggest pageant of all. #viennaboysausages #richardlowgere #gumbywasright #slimyleg #thisisstuff Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We titillate you with the sensual story of the invention of sex. Then sexy person, chef, and reader of our credits, Rachel Tumerman, comes on to talk sex, non-monogamy, vulnerability, and sex ed. #kneelsup #fatherroach #y2ksex Outro: Cretin Beacon "would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?" soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

What a sporty treat we have for you! Join Taylor and Tank Andrew as they commentate Seth’s recreational volleyball league and learn all about sportsmanship and teamwork while somehow not learning a single thing about volleyball itself. A special sneak peek at some of the bonus content we have planned for supporters of our new network Podcasts Anonymous! More details coming as we get closer to our official launch. #uninformedsportsspectacular Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We ink the history of tattooing onto your brain and teach you some vital etiquette of tattoo culture. Then tattoo artist and owner of Boartooth Tattoo & Social Club (CA), Daniel Werder, comes on to talk tattooing craft, apprenticeship, breakdancing, and sobriety. #bethatbagel #businessmanning #skinen Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and Intern Hans break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: a game-changing event at Dressbarn, the NFL comes to Jesus, a routine exam turns missing persons case, a treatise on interstellar parenting. #dressporn #amen #abolishthesun Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We traverse the terrain of van life's inception as a combination of two of everyone's favorite social gatherings. Then Chandra Rae and Andy Derrick come on to talk about renovating an '84 Chevy van into a home and life on the road. #thandienewton5000 #wedonttracks #stinkychristianpunkstew Outro: Cretin Beacon "would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?" SoundCloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and musical guests, Glamper and Tiblinski, break down only the most important prehistoric news. #dinodocking #penistheory #egyptianhorse #rawrdoggingit Intro: Glamper “Life Finds A Way” Outro: Tiblinski “Dinosaur Song” glamper.bandcamp.com/album/dino-split

We go all the way back to the very first comic book ever printed, then set some ground rules for what makes a good superhero. Then Documenteers host and comic book aficionado, Bob Sham, comes on to talk comic book history, underwear, and the rise of marginalized voices in comics. RIP Stan Lee. Excelsior. #hesjustabird #buseynaps #youngsheldononcbs #lovesassbeatsass Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: Samsung folds under the hype, a state senator is dealt a cold hand by some nurses, Game of Thrones embraces a timeless cinematic tactic, a royal Easter scandal demystified. #samsinging #samsallow #intheboneyhour Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We trip out on the origination of psychedelic drugs. Then psychedelic enthusiasts, T & E, come on to talk about their experiences with psychedelics, explain microdosing and its purported benefits, and provide some guidance for the novice tripper. #heypisces #buildyourvoidbeautiful #copcarnival Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Mason “Grumpy” Schmitt, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: literary criticism gets heated in Eastern Europe, an airline sweepstakes spurs a star’s comeback, a former Beatle comes clean about a toxic secret, a rundown of home design of the future. #poisonpore #takethtube Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We caress your brain through a crash course in massage therapy. Then massage therapist and yoga instructor, Brian Thibault, comes on to talk types and benefits of massage and getting into yoga. #redcelebration #wefinnish Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: a peek inside a celebrity church, an astronomer’s diverting new cosmic theory, Nashville churches reach out to the community, five crucial tips for finding the personal trainer for you. #firstchurchofcaptivity #evenbabies Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Sami Lane, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: religions and rock bands make water conservation difficult, a corporate split gets graphic, tips on sacred kitchen care, the animal kingdom plots a big change. #clothingrestaurant #throbross Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We delve deep into the occult and share some of our favorite occultic rock artists and songs. Then Nashville rock band, Oginalii, comes on to talk about common misconceptions about the occult, occultic dabblings throughout rock history, and together we write the dankest, most metal, occultistest song of all time and perform it live. #stickiestmaninrocknroll #goesbacksto Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Austin Arnold, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: the perils of recording heavy metal, a cosmetic revolution for magical creatures, exciting new developments in gravity, Trump’s medical staff woes. #commaback Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We demystify the occupation of occupational therapy complete with some major historical examples. Then occupational therapist, Claire Grecco, comes on to talk about the types of patients she treats and how she treats them.  #spudprints #robotscientist Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: a surprising find in Egypt, a real moose of a fitness challenge, Apple tries to debug Facetime, a C-list actor at the center of a controversy of cosmic proportions. #notallfaces Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We reveal the intriguing theological underpinnings of Mormonism. Then actor, writer, and director, Kristopher Wente, comes on to pretty much confirm our good job and talk about his mission, his leaving the church, and the way those experiences have informed his art. #bidencranks #turnaprophet Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and guest co-hosts, Tank Andrew and Riley Noonan, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: a Taco Bell “Catch of the Day” that’s truly explosive, a sterile warning regarding your favorite prickly pet, filing tips to help you survive tax season, a big year shapes up for Nebraska. #hoglyfe #reallifeblackmirror Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We decode the etymology of entrepreneurship and reminisce about our respective entrepreneurial ventures. Then baking phenom husbands, Chris and Tony (aka the Baking Barons), come on to feed us treats and talk about the baking of their business and the business of baking. #awaitthedragon Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: a day in the life of a successful investor, an update on the Wall, Tom Brady's hair-raising sports controversy, Kanye tries to get his head around a big challenge. #kanyeheadsouth Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We share our very best teaching practices with you. Then high school teacher, Luke Anderson, comes on to share his circuitous route to education, why he teaches, how to help schools and teachers in your area, and teaches us how to be better teachers too via a VERY professional role-playing game. #businessbemoney Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth, Taylor, and guest co-host, Ben Handy, break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the rest of 2018, then share their own New Year’s resolutions to inspire you to take on 2019. #biglovelife #neverforget Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We are joined by our friend, Tank Andrew, as we get into the festive spirit discussing our favorite holiday films and some of our most sentimental traditions. #christmashog #oncallforcomets Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: no such thing as free cheesecake, the moon plans for the worst, Catherine Zeta-Jones faces the music, the national bird controversy continues to ruffle feathers. #mooncouldfail #patitontheback Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We explore the super fun history of photography. Then photographer, Christina Weldy, comes on to talk about the art and craft of photography, fashion on a budget, fermentation, and raw pet diets. #pieceofwater #superbaby Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: Amazon dabbles in the oldest profession, kangaroos troll Australians, magic may be our only defense against a prehistoric threat, conflict rages in the animal world. Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We explain how viral hits spread and find success by breaking down the science and sharing our own viral success stories. Then Clif Dickens, creator of viral sensation Honest Slogans, comes on to talk the story of Honest Slogans, the element of luck in viral hits, and motivating the viral hit-makers of tomorrow. #mariogoesdown Outro: Cretin Beacon “would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?” soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

Seth and Taylor break down only the most important news headlines to get you through the week. Featuring: an incendiary Michael Bolton development, Millennial killing sprees, love and basketball...and Drake, Amazon pays it forward. Outro: Cretin Beacon "would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?" soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

An extended, intimate conversation with our Episode 1 guest, artist Dennis Greenwell. More talk about art, sexuality, and religious disillusionment. Outro: Cretin Beacon "would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?" soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon

We educate you on art education, what makes art good or bad, and the proper way to visit an art gallery. Then Nashville artist and educator, Dennis Greenwell, comes on to talk education, art that excites him and his students, and his own art career. Outro: Cretin Beacon "would you like a coffee? would you like a creme?" https://soundcloud.com/cretinbeacon