Podcasts about surviving abuse network

Mickie lived in abuse for 34 years.  One day, she decided she was done and that this was not OK. Mickie educated herself, made a plan, executed on that plan and created an authentic life of her own.  As a survivor of domestic abuse, she founded the Surviving Abuse Network, which includes podcasts, videos and articles that are meant to inspire and encourage women that have experienced domestic abuse and to give them hope. Mickie shares these nuggets of life wisdom: - you are a good person - if we don't change, nothing changes - change your perspective - invest in your personal growth - read books on self help - gather information - take seminars - watch webinars - decide what works for you and what doesn't - make a plan - apply what you learn - create a safe, authentic life Mickie Zada, author of "Looking Behind Closed Doors" is an enthusiastic participant in Life. That was not always the case. At the age of 53, having lived in domestic abuse for 34 years, she realized she had lost herself. Creating and embracing a self imposed Repair Shop, Mickie knew that if she didn’t change herself, nothing would change; she’d return to her abuser or attract another one. Her business, Surviving Abuse Network, is founded on two basic principles; (1) if we dont change, nothing changes and (2) when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. https://survivingabusenetwork.com/  https://www.amazon.com/Looking-Behind-Closed-Doors-Domestic/dp/172384280X/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=looking+behind+closed+doors+mickie+zada&qid=1552246661&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull  https://www.thehotline.org/  tags:  Mickie, Zada, Surviving, Abuse, Network, survivingabusenetwork.com, thriving, after, domestic, abuse, Looking, Behind, Closed, Doors, looking behind closed doors, Shatterproof, storiesthatempower.com, stories that empower, empowering stories, empowerment stories, stories of empowerment, stories of empowering others, self empowerment stories, stories empower, inspire, inspiring, inspiration, uplift, uplifting, upliftment, hope, light, Sean

Like the fact or not, each of us has a life pattern, some “program” deep in our brain that creates our attraction to abusers.  My lesson, my program, was “Anything the boys did was OK.”   Practically from the time my first brother was born (I was 15 months old), I was taught that males were granted more leigh way, were not held to the same levels of responsibility as girls and could do whatever they wanted to…while girls made excuses for their poor choices and negative behavior.  My parents did not program me and my sisters that way to cause us problems:  Our training was to protect our brothers, who had learning disabilities. Thus, the stage was set to continue my life as a co-dependent enabler of men’s damaging behavior toward me.  I stayed in domestic abuse for 34 years, always believing it was my Mission to keep my abuser between the lines. I was wrong.  It took many years and a lot of personal growth to embrace that Truth.  I was 53 and had allowed myself to be worn away. I was 53 when I embraced the fact that I didn’t know who I was, what I thought, what I wanted in life.  I did the work to change:  If we don’t change, nothing changes. Not only did I discover Me, I created my own name in which I anchored my new Being.  My Truth was finally set free, the culmination of which is this podcast and my business: Surviving Abuse Network

As professional women we are strong in our careers as entrepreneurs, CEOs, attorneys and doctors; proficient, well-skilled women.  At work we live in our power. When we lived in abuse, that powerful person morphed into someone else.  The emotional, financial and physical abuse at home caused us to abandon our business power…we changed into someone else.  Someone our abuser created. Now that we are out of abuse, we have the option to create our authentic lives 24/7/365.  We have the choice to stay in that condo we created in Victimhood or ebb and flow into who we were created to be.  A strong woman in all phases of our lives. Professional women over 50 is a niche of domestic abuse that is underserved.  Much support and inspiration are available for younger women.  Those of us who are professional women, who are over 50 AND who lived in domestic abuse … we are overlooked. Mickie owned golf courses with her former husband.  She lived a privileged life.  She shares her experience and process in embracing her authentic self after leaving her abuser.  She was 53:  No longer a “spring chicken”. Her transformation and growth experiences are real and achievable. And, it continues! She is morphing her business from Surviving Abuse Network to Shatterproof Thriving After Domestic Abuse. Mickie shares ideas for you to live in your power, too…you’ve got this!

In today's episode, I give you some new perspectives--and effective words to say--when people treat you in ways you do not appreciate. For many listeners, "ways I do not appreciate" usually come from one particular person, a #Hijackal®. Whether that is true for you or not, you want to feel and be confident that you can trust yourself to speak up when someone says something rude, wrong, or abusive, without concern that you will turn into a blaming, shaming, or abusive person yourself. That's the goal of my segment today.Learning to respond from your best self rather than lose it and react is a skill! The ideas I've shared here really work. I hope you find them useful immediately for dealing with unexpected hostility, rudeness, and the desire of a Hijackal to squish you like a gnat!(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: MICKIE ZADA, Advocate for women who have escaped emotional abuse. Mickie Zada, lived in domestic abuse for thirty-four years. In spite of enduring emotional, financial, and physical abuse, for twenty-three years she pretended her life was "normal." Even after admitting her reality, it took eleven more years to leave.Mickie got help from both an experienced counselor, and a psychologist who understood the issues and depth of domestic abuse, who realized and recognized the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, AND the domestic abuse she lived with. She wisely gave herself five years of time to gather, embrace, and apply personal growth insights, understanding that, if she didn't change, she would return to her abuser or attract another abuser.Sixteen years later, Mickie is now a content creator, catalyst, and advocate for women who have escaped domestic abuse. Her business, Surviving Abuse Network, includes weekly podcasts, live videos, and articles created to support and inspire women who have escaped.Mickie's first book, Looking Behind Closed Doors: Domestic Abuse - If You Don't Change, Nothing Changes, is available on Kindle through AmazonHIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why it took so long to believe it was abuseWhat to do when the thought that you've allowed this to happen paralyzes youThe important of a "getaway" planHow Mickie created that "getaway" planWhat to do when you're so afraid of your abuserWhy it's not a good idea to broadcast the idea that you're leaving to your abuser, or to anyone who will tell him or herCONNECT WITH MICKIE ZADAWebsite: SurvivingAbuseNetwork.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/mickie_ZadaFacebook: Facebook.com/SurvivingAbuseNetworkLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/mickiezadaInstagram: https://instagram.com/mickie.survivingabusenetworkCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®NEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma #survivingabusenetwork #speakingupEdit See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In today's episode, I give you some new perspectives--and effective words to say--when people treat you in ways you do not appreciate. For many listeners, "ways I do not appreciate" usually come from one particular person, a #Hijackal®. Whether that is true for you or not, you want to feel and be confident that you can trust yourself to speak up when someone says something rude, wrong, or abusive, without concern that you will turn into a blaming, shaming, or abusive person yourself. That's the goal of my segment today.Learning to respond from your best self rather than lose it and react is a skill! The ideas I've shared here really work. I hope you find them useful immediately for dealing with unexpected hostility, rudeness, and the desire of a Hijackal to squish you like a gnat!(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: MICKIE ZADA, Advocate for women who have escaped emotional abuse. Mickie Zada, lived in domestic abuse for thirty-four years. In spite of enduring emotional, financial, and physical abuse, for twenty-three years she pretended her life was "normal." Even after admitting her reality, it took eleven more years to leave.Mickie got help from both an experienced counselor, and a psychologist who understood the issues and depth of domestic abuse, who realized and recognized the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, AND the domestic abuse she lived with. She wisely gave herself five years of time to gather, embrace, and apply personal growth insights, understanding that, if she didn't change, she would return to her abuser or attract another abuser.Sixteen years later, Mickie is now a content creator, catalyst, and advocate for women who have escaped domestic abuse. Her business, Surviving Abuse Network, includes weekly podcasts, live videos, and articles created to support and inspire women who have escaped.Mickie's first book, Looking Behind Closed Doors: Domestic Abuse - If You Don't Change, Nothing Changes, is available on Kindle through AmazonHIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why it took so long to believe it was abuseWhat to do when the thought that you've allowed this to happen paralyzes youThe important of a "getaway" planHow Mickie created that "getaway" planWhat to do when you're so afraid of your abuserWhy it's not a good idea to broadcast the idea that you're leaving to your abuser, or to anyone who will tell him or herCONNECT WITH MICKIE ZADAWebsite: SurvivingAbuseNetwork.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/mickie_ZadaFacebook: Facebook.com/SurvivingAbuseNetworkLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/mickiezadaInstagram: https://instagram.com/mickie.survivingabusenetworkCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®NEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma #survivingabusenetwork #speakingupEdit See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Mickie Zada is a domestic abuse survivor, content creator, catalyst and advocate for women who have experienced domestic abuse. Having lived in domestic abuse for 34 years, at age 53 Mickie chose to re-invent her life, to discover who she is and to create and live her authentic life. Her business Surviving Abuse Network includes a popular weekly podcast, frequent live Facebook videos, & articles all created in support & inspires survivors of domestic abuse. Website: www.SurvivingAbuseNetwork.com Book: https://amzn.to/2xmTJ9d Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Surviving-Abuse-Network-137284130241322/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickiezada/ You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQe0ZTWTFLym9l-HIEFIOrw?view_as=subscriber The Gold Lining by BrokeFor Free. is licensed under a Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 USA Licensed --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jamiquan/support

Who is Mickie Zada?  What is Surviving Abuse Network?   We are part of a growing wave of change…Join us in refusing to accept status quo! Women are not equal in lots of places…but especially not in many of our homes and, certainly, not in the court system.  Do you know that 70% of abusers manage to come out ahead in our court system today?!? The goal of Surviving Abuse Network is to bring the reality of domestic abuse out of the closet and on to center stage. Equally as important is making it clear to those of us attracted to abusers, if we don’t change, nothing changes. I am not victim blaming.  I lived in domestic abuse for 34 years.  I don’t blame myself for that.   Our attraction to abusers is the result of a lesson, a pattern that was programed into my brain when we were kids.  The programmed pattern controls our thought process, our emotions.  It tells us that abuse is normal. When I identified that programmed pattern in my own mind, I was able to deal with it and eliminate my attraction to abusers.  You are able to do that, too. Learn more about programed patterns, hard wired lessons that affect our lives and we don’t even know they are there.    Why I do not accept status quo and how Surviving Abuse Network challenges the current norm?  I am traveling to the beat of a different drum, just like you!  Here’s the fact:  Domestic abuse affects 1 in 3 women in the United States.  1 in 3!   Domestic abuse is real, and we don’t have to live with it!

There are two statements I make that some people take personally…statements that they feel are demeaning and insensitive to women who have live in domestic abuse. I disagree. The statements are:  “If we don’t change, nothing changes” and “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”  A third one attracted the ire of a couple of my community members, too: “You don’t attract who you want.  You attract who you are.” Each of those statements addresses victims of domestic abuse.  The people who attack those statements feel that they are blaming victims, saying they are responsible for being in abusive situations, want to be abuse, or somehow deserving. Absolutely Not! I use my own experience in this podcast to explain my position and opinion.  Like most victims of domestic abuse, I was conditioned as a kid to accept negative behavior by males as acceptable, OK, my lot in life.  Not because an adult was abusive.  Because my brothers were dyslexic and were allowed to behave unacceptably.  My sisters and I were taught to accept the boy’s negative behavior.  That led to abusive marriages…for me and every one of my sisters. Sound far fetched to you?  Listen and tell me what you think. I am Mickie Zada, the CEO of Surviving Abuse Network.  Please check out my web site at www.SurvivingAbuseNetwork.com

Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode number 170 of our show. This week, Stuart is joined by guest Mickie Zada, who runs the Surviving Abuse Network. Mickie left her abusive marriage 16 years ago after over 30 years of abuse. She helps women get out of abusive situations and begin to heal.   What you'll learn from today's podcast:   We can live in denial of  abuse for a very long time 1:41   There's so much trauma that women in abuse hold onto 3:48   It can all look perfect from the outside. It's a facade 7:54   Emotional abuse is dramatically worse than physical abuse 9:20   Be open with your kids about the abusive behavior to educate them what is right and wrong 11:19   Shame and guilt are a part of the cycle and why victims don't talk about abuse in their lives 13:38   Fear of walking away with nothing can keep women from fighting back 16:40   Financial abuse - When the abuser is controlling access to the money is a big red flag 17:47   Men are also being abused, there's so much shame that goes with that. This is not Mickie's area of expertise, as she deals primarily with women. Perhaps that is a discussion for another time? Write Stuart with your comments and questions to: podcast@thecouplesexperts.com   Recovery is possible with a great deal of personal work and personal growth. “If we don't change, nothing changes” - Your outlook and perspective have to change so your choices can change. Resist going back to your abuser! Free support, free information and education is available to learn how to make healthy choices in future relationships. Professionals can help us see who we are. We need the perspective of counselors and coaches to help us see beyond our own experiences.   Thank you so much to Mickie Zada for taking the time to share with our listeners and to all of you for spending part of your day with The Couples Expert. Contact Mickie at www.survivingabusenetwork.com   Next Week: Join Stuart next week on The Couples Expert for a discussion about truth and lies. The impact of deceit on your love relationship is huge. Listen in as Stuart discusses what it means to live in an authentic relationship with your partner.

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast. Stuart is talking today about a subject you don't hear much about. It's an adult subject, so please use discretion when listening or use your headphones! This is episode 169 of our podcast. Listen as Stuart talks about using sex as a weapon or for leverage in the relationship. Have you ever done that? You'd be surprised how many couples do. Summer is here and we're all spending more time with our partners and families. Stuart recommends taking couples vacations to spend time and connect with your partner. Work on your relationships and get closer and more connected. Remember how important your intimate life is, and cultivate that.     What you'll learn from today's podcast: The impact on couples who can't be in the same space together 3:44 You need to examine your commitment if you feel like leaving your shared space  8:03 Sex is an essential ingredient to a happy and satisfying relationship 9:20 If you can be satisfied with having an unhappy partner that's the beginning of a problem 10:54 Helping you feel loved should be your partner's passion 13:15 We all need to be touched and loved; it's a part of our emotional connection 15:55 When you're taking away your partner's access to you, your relationship is in trouble 17:27   If you are using sex as a weapon it's a symptom of a far greater problem. The commitment you make in your relationship is to stay together, stay exclusively sexual with your partner and to keep yourself for them only. If you begin to use that aspect of your relationship as leverage to manipulate the relationship, you're taking something far more important than sex away from your partner. The feeling that your partner can't be trusted or you don't have them to rely on is one of the most painful and lonely places to be in a relationship. Both of you need to be fully committed to working through your struggles and challenges together- Tough it out. Stay in the same room, keep your physical connection and continue to touch and be intimate with each other so you don't lose that feeling of emotional security and connection to one another.   This podcast is sponsored by: The annual relationship check up! Learn more here about how to evaluate where you and your partner are in terms of satisfaction with your partnership.  https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/annual-relationship-check-up/   Next Week: Please listen next week as Stuart is joined by Mickie Zada from Surviving Abuse Network. They will be discussing the warning signs of abuse in a relationship. Please listen in to this important topic.   Email Stuart at: podcast@thecouplesexperts.com   Thank you for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. We hope that you stay close and stay connected.

The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488.  The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during the same time was 11,766.  That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during war.  http://bit.ly/2jc1N8x Join the conversation:  Domestic Abuse is real and we don’t have to live with it!  Surviving Abuse Network is one place for you to participate with a sisterhood of domestic abuse survivors.  Together we will make a difference.  #1in4domesticabuse  https://www.facebook.com/Surviving-Abuse-Network-137284130241322/

The theory of Collective Collusion addresses the fact that society will side with the perpetrator when abuse is brought forward.  WHAT??      And why?? Because society does not want to question the Father figure, the Authority figure. If Authority is questioned, the implication is that we are ALL just poor, weak human beings.  Nope, can’t let that happen! #Metoo has opened Pandora’s Box. I’m hopeful the wave of open discussion about sexual harassment and abuse will flow into the realm of domestic abuse, too.  Most of our abusers are not famous.  They are not news worthy.  Unless a victim is murdered, domestic abuse rarely rates above the crease news. In this episode, Mickie presents her theory and opinion of society’s stance. Please, join the conversation that abuse is real and we don’t have to live with it. Post hashtag #1in4domesticabuse.  It does not mean you have experienced abuse.  It does mean you are willing to bring domestic abuse out of the closet and into the light. Learn more on my face book page Surviving Abuse Network  https://www.facebook.com/Surviving-Abuse-Network-137284130241322/  

It’s the holiday season, right?  And, the best way to resolve frustration, loneliness, anger, distress … holiday blues?  Eat.   In “Eat, Pray and Love Yourself” Mickie tells an embarrassing story about the power of a box of chocolates had over her!  This time of year, we do set ourselves up for being hurt, disappointed, feeling like we don’t quite fit in, not included.  Don’t you agree? What is it that causes those emotions? Programmed Lessons; things we have been taught that control a lot of our reactions and feelings.  We are able to change those Programmed Lessons and baby-steps are one way to begin shifting how we feel about and how much we choose to enjoy this holiday season. Also, check out the private face book page,  “Surviving Abuse Network” www.facebook.com/groups/1859821070960301/ You’ll find a really good recipe for Mulled Wine with Cranberries there, too! Happy Holidays!  

Since you left your abusive relationship, do your friends and family think you may have lost your mind?  You had it all, right?  Nice home, strong businesses, important jobs, a good relationship…well, that’s what it looked like. Was it a mid-life crisis that spurred you to finally leave?  I doubt it, but whatever it was, HURRAAAY!   Now you’re able to create the life you love.  Change is exciting, and somewhat disconcerting.  Choose to join groups and meet ups for business women.  Find online groups.  Decide to finally write that book, start painting again.  “He won’t let me” isn’t a good excuse anymore, is it? Join me on face book’s two pages, Surviving Abuse Network.  One is an open page (it has the Survive Abuse logo and my pictures).  The other is a private page, ask to join!  It has a picture of a bird in its cage with the door wide open.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1859821070960301/ https://www.facebook.com/Surviving-Abuse-Network-137284130241322/ Thanks!  See you there!