Beauti: The Interviews

Teri and Marylee talk about diet culture and body image from a white and a Black perspective. 

Hosts Sarah Stevens and Teri Voyna discuss a new look at The Beautifull Project 

Hosts Sarah Stevens and Teri Voyna discuss changes to the podcast

"If I'd been in a car accident and had a bone sticking out of my leg, would I get to the ER and have them refuse to fix my broken leg because I'm fat? Would they wait until I lost weight to pursue treatment? No. Of course not. This isn't different, but I still can't get what I need."   Teri was one of our favorite storytellers in Season One, and she's back to talk about all things medicine and marginalized bodies by sharing her own story of seeking care while living in a fat body. This is an important conversation about the complexities of being fat in a fatphobic world, and leaves the audience with an opportunity to observe their own bias about bodies. 

Adriane is a survivor of human trafficking and shares her story in this episode. She tells her truth from beginning to end, and is hoping this act of courage will allow her to let go of the past and step into the power of her present life. 

"I thought I lived a life where people saw me, and they don't. Because I didn't even see myself. And by "saw me," I mean people saw me as a black woman. I didn't see myself as a black woman. I thought I did. But I didn't."   Delia is a woman, a wife, a mother, and a force of a human being. In this episode, she shares her own reckoning with race, and its impact in her life. As she assesses a "world on fire," she offers the audience a way forward with her invitation to "rise from the ashes."  She is an ordinary woman sharing extraordinary truth. And she's waiting for you to be her witness.  

"I just want to go back. To a time when we don't have fear. When we're not so sheltered from each other, from the external relationships with each other. I just want to go back. Welcome to the first interview of The Spilling Stories, a special series dedicated to abandoning the idea that we need to hold it all together and showcasing the grit it takes to allow ourselves to spill over. These are stories of resilience, of ordinary women who are willing to let their grief take up space, so that it can serve their greatness. In today's episode, we sat down with Katie Thompson, owner and curator of THE Market - A Journey to Joy. Katie's shop is home to 40 small business owners, all of whom she feels a personal sense of responsibility for. Add to that Katie's roles as wife, daughter, and mother, and she finds herself in a position of trying to be a lot of things to a lot of people. We talk about holding it all together, and spilling over a little when we need.   

"It doesn't do me any good to try to struggle to the surface until I've touched the bottom. If you don't let yourself go to the bottom where you can actually find your feet, it's hard to know which way is up. So, part of it for me is allowing myself the full sink, allowing myself to fall apart." Welcome to the first interview of The Spilling Stories, a special series dedicated to abandoning the idea that we need to hold it all together and showcasing the grit it takes to allow ourselves to spill over. These are stories of resilience, of ordinary women who are willing to let their grief take up space, so that it can serve their greatness. In this episode, Sarah invited her wife Becky to the mic to talk about all of the spilling over that has happened in their home, in their marriage, and with their kids during the early days of the pandemic in the United States. Becky works with this metaphor about slipping into her sadness, but having to go all the way to the bottom so that she push off from there and know which way to swim to find the surface. It is beautiful. And it’s just the beginning of the stories we will share here in this place. Stay with us.  

"Maybe I don't need to hold it all together. Maybe I really need to just let myself spill over." The Beautifull Project podcast is interrupting its regularly scheduled programming for a series of special episodes aimed directly at what it means to take up space in a world flipped upside down. In this first special episode, Sarah unpacks her own reaction, explains some of the silence on The Project's platform, and shares a small shift that is working for her as she moves through her own fear and anxiety. She also throws in a little dig at diet culture and the "No Excuses" movement taking IG threads by storm during this time of physical distancing. She wraps up with an invitation to find some solace in this space, together, in the uncertain days and weeks ahead.    

"A lot of our conversations are filled with smile emojis, but at the end of the day it's leaving us empty. Just because we're more doesn't mean we're more connected... we need community." In episode 4, we sat down with Haley DeGreve, college senior, marketing and communications major, and co-founder of The Gray Matters. The Gray Matters is a mental health campaign that seeks to initiate conversation around the gray area between mental health awareness and stigma. The goal is to spread a message of hope, solidarity, and compassion. This movement is making waves on Haley's college campus because it empowers everyone to be a part of suicide prevention. Haley is a creative force behind this movement, a creative force for good in general, and it is an honor to hold space for her story. Resources: Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1800-273-8255

"I don't really now how this big, black lesbian got accepted into so many circles, but it happened for me. Since they let me in the door, I'm going to always have something to say." In this episode, we welcome Brandy Donaldson - author, speaker, and activist - to the microphone.  Brandy began her journey into social advocacy and activism shortly after moving to Illinois. Her volunteerism has included Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Mississippi Valley, the Rock Island County NAACP, The African American Leadership Society (Quad Cities), Dress for Success, Young Professionals of the Quad Cities, the Q2030 Regional Action Plan, The QC Empowerment Network, The Chemo Care Package Project, which she created, the Palomares Social Justice Center and African American Lesbian Professionals Having a Say (ALPHAS), which she co-founded. Brandy also serves on the Illinois Council on Women and Girls and the Equality Illinois Advisory Council. Brandy is a vocal advocate for change, in particular for change in the oppression of marginalized people. She is a living example of what it means to "use your voice." She is a creative force for good, and it is an honor to hold space for her story. Connect with Brandy at www.brandydonaldson.com

"It doesn't matter who tells you that you can't have access. You go and you see... 'Can I get in here?'. And maybe not today, but tomorrow you can try again. I think it's important for women to give themselves permission." Welcome to Episode 2 of Season Three: The Mamas and the Makers. In this episode, we sat down with Gaye Shannon Burnett.  Gaye has been active in the local community with art and drama programs for young people for over 20 years. She is an artist with studio space at Bucktown Center for the Arts. She uses intense colors and compelling interpretations in her work to help create a different conversation regarding "abstract expression" in African American art. As an artist of the Black Diaspora, her work explores colors, motion, social commentary, and influences taken from her life experiences She is the co-founder of Azubuike African American Council for the Arts. Azubuike's mission is to reconcile the racial divides that exist in our community by giving at-risk youth a voice to express themselves, to be heard without bias, and to spark a much larger conversation about race relations in the Quad Cities through the arts. Gay's vision is to use the arts to understand the past and help shape our future while telling a compelling story about why our lives matter. She is a force for good in the world and we are here to hold space for everything she has to share.⠀⠀

Welcome to Season Three: The Mamas and the Makers! In this first episode, we welcome Sara Dean, the original Shameless Mom, to the mic for an incredible conversation about what it takes to make something you love. Sara is the creator and host of the Shameless Mom Academy Podcast, a top rated podcast with over 2 million downloads. Her biggest passion is helping women own their space.  After enduring her own identity crisis following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity, one step at a time.  Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start shining.  She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday. Sara serves women through her podcast, her thriving Momentum Mamas membership community, her Tenacious Mamas business & leadership mastermind and her annual event, Shameless Mom Con.   When she’s not supporting Shameless Moms, you’ll find Sara with her husband and 7 year old son - building Legos and pretending to understand Pokemon. ********* Connect with Sara at www.shamelessmom.com The Shameless Mom Academy podcast  Free Facebook Group Instagram

+Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault+ "When the truth gets stuck in us, it crowds out the space that could be used for love and connection. Telling the story is a way to get the truth outside of me."  In this final episode of the Season of Survivors, Sarah sits down with her wife, Becky... not to interview her, but to BE interviewed by her, and to share a part of her own survival story she has not shared before. Sarah tells the story of her own sexual assault, a story she had buried from conscious thought for nearly two decades. She shares her experience processing the sense of betrayal specific to being assaulted by someone she trusted. She opens up about how she still struggles to name her assault as rape. And she acknowledges that she still has more work to do to find healing in this place. Her story is brave and it is beautiful and it was brought into the light because of the brave beauty of every woman who sat down across the microphone from her this season.  Resources for Survivors: RAINN Family Resources (local)  

+ Trigger Warning: Miscarriage + In this episode, we sat down with Katie, a survivor of miscarriage. Katie unpacks her story delicately, the way you unpack some little treasure you've stored away for safekeeping. And in many ways, that's what Katie had done with this memory up until this point. She had kept the memory of "Baby T" alive inside of her, and wanted to share that memory with all of you. She hones in on the importance of slowing down with grief and not rushing the process. She also speaks to the idea that she felt she needed to "just move on" from this miscarriage... a sentiment shared by many women. Finally, she talks about the tension and anxiety she felt during her next pregnancy, making it difficult to connect to the joy of the experience. Katie is brave and she is beautiful. And her story follow suit.    

+Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Spiritualized Trauma + "And then one day, I sat up in bed, and said, 'I'm whole again.'" In this episode, we sat down with Rachel, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and later, a survivor of an abusive marriage. Rachel grew up in a deeply religious context, and when her abuse was disclosed, she was silenced and told to believe that what happened to her was her fault. This belief took root in her, informing her decisions through much of her adult life, and ultimately landing her in an abusive marriage. Rachel's story offers powerful proof of the impact of early childhood messaging. But she also offers powerful proof that healing is possible. And her healing is brave and it is beautiful. Join Sarah and Rachel as they hold space for the story of this survivor.   +Links to Resources for Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence + RAINN National Domestic Violence Hotline Argrow's House (local) Family Resources (local)

 + Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders, Miscarriage + "I believe in the power of community, in surrounding yourself with people who can believe things for you that you can’t believe for yourself when you’re in pain. And I’m a big believer in hope. Hold on to hope. Hold on to hope that you will come out of this stronger.” In this episode, we sat down with Liv, a survivor of an eating disorder, multiple miscarriages and the grief of holding on to a dream she didn't know would ever be possible. Liv is raw and vulnerable in the telling of her story, starting with college and her brush up against the world of modeling. She shares in depth about the suffering of experiencing multiple miscarriages and the pain that resulted when she wasn't sure if she would be able to be a mom. She also talks about hope and healing and how she found her way back to herself. Liv is brave and beautiful and it is privilege to hold space for her story.   +Resources for Survivors + National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association

++ Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence ++ In this episode, we sat down with Joni, a survivor of domestic violence who is committed to understanding the patterns from her past in order to find healing in her present. She is a gifted storyteller who expertly weaves the details of her lived experience into a story line that is recognizable to anyone who has suffered and survived a toxic relationship.  Joni has done the work to move through her past and offers the audience the hope that comes from healing. She is brave and articulate and full of passion and purpose.   Resources for Survivors: Local Resources: Family Resoures National Resources: National Network to End Domestic Violence

In this episode, we sat down with Amanda. Amanda is a survivor of birth trauma, a very real experience for many women who have given birth. Challenging the idea that the only "successful" birth story is the one that goes perfectly according to plan, Amanda shares what it was like to walk through an experience that didn't follow the arc she expected. She opens up about how the impact of the trauma didn't surface immediately, but when it did, it began to distort her understanding of the birth process as a whole - an important point for women to hear as they recover from giving birth and find that healing is a multi-faceted, many months-long process. Amanda is tender and vulnerable and completely accessible as she shares from some of her deepest pain and her deepest joy. + Resources for Survivors = Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth  QC Women's Therapy

In this episode, Sarah sat down with Nicole and Kate, the team who helps her make the Project possible. Together they unpacked the profound impact this virtual community has had on them individually, and gave a little behind-the-scenes peek into what is coming next at The Beautifull Project. Stick around for the end.. there is an invitation included for each and every one of YOU!   For more information, visit www.thebeautifullproject.com/events

 +Trigger Warning: Sexual violence, domestic abuse, PTSD, depression, chronic pain, miscarriage+ In this episode, we sit down with Jackie - a woman who has survived serial trauma, beginning with a violent sexual assault during high school. The content of Jackie's story makes it one of the most intense of the entire season, but as the storyteller, Jackie does the most incredible job giving access to painful parts of her past without transferring her pain on to the listener. She is resolute in her determination to heal, and her resilience is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. She shares from the darkest parts of her history, and at the same time, manages to shine a light forward, passing on hope to anyone who will listen. Resources for Survivors: RAINN Family Resources NAMI

We've spent a year and a half bringing you the voices of women who demonstrate strength and resilience. We have invited you to open yourself in the same way. But until this podcast, we never offered you any tools to help you put yourself back together after we invite you to let yourself fall apart.   Today's pod is the first of many full of tips and tricks from our very own beauty, Nicole. Nicole is one of the people who helps us create at The Beautifull Project. She is also a trained therapist, an artist, and a brilliant woman. She shares tactics you can apply to every area of your life.. from a major traumatic event to the stressful meeting with your boss (which can feel like a major, traumatic event to be sure)... that will allow you to engage that bad ass brain and move yourself down the path of healing.

 +Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse + "I had finally dug up some self worth and I was ready to throw it around a little." In this episode, we welcome Kira to the mic to tell her story. Kira shares her story about the sexual abuse she endured at the hands of a trusted teacher during her adolescence, a story that is difficult to hear, but so very important to take in. But at the core of Kira's story, the listener will discover that Kira's story is also about her desire to belong, to feel seen, to be known and loved. And the great lengths the human spirit will extend toward in order to experience a sense of belonging. Resources for Survivors of Sexual Assault: RAINN Family Resources

+Trigger Warning: Sexual Violence+   In this episode, we welcome Dr. Kit Ford, Founder of Argrow's House of Healing and sexual violence survivor. Dr. Kit is a force for good in her community, and exudes a sense of purpose about her life in the most beautiful way. Dr. Kit's traumatic experiences do not define her, but have instead shaped her in a way that makes her able to lend hope and healing to other women. She shares her healing journey on the pod and provides inspiration and direction for other women who are surviving in their own right.   You can check out Argrow's House at www.argrowshouse.org.  Argrow's House is a house of healing that provides direct services to survivors and also creates survivor-made bath and body products.    Local resources for survivors of sexual violence: Family Resources National resources for survivors of sexual violence: RAINN

There is nothing more inspiring than a woman who challenges the expectations set in front of her and this woman… she has all the inspiration we need to remember what we are made of when our life requires resilience. Diagnosed with cerebral palsy as a baby, Sarah has lived and moved in a disabled body for her entire life. In this interview, she shares what it was like to navigate her adolescence, the ways she allowed the pain to take her to some dark places, and the hope she found when she began to find a way to hold out for the kindness. Sarah is brave and beautifull and her episode is live on the pod today!

+Trigger Warning+ Eating Disorder, Depression   In this episode, we welcomed Stephanie to the mic. Stephanie is a survivor of an eating disorder and an advocate for other survivors. She has spent most of her life looking for healing… not just for the eating disorder, but to find a deeper understanding of herself, of all of the things that seemed to ail her. In this interview, she talks about belonging, about the ways she searched for healing outside of her, and about how much power she’s found having arrived at a place that gives her permission to love herself. And as we continue to exist in a culture that saturates us with deeply disordered ideas about our relationship with food and with our bodies, the insight she shares takes on more urgent meaning. She tells her story in a way where the details can become recognizable in our collective experience with food and body, making the healing a collective possibility as well. Stephanie is whole and wholehearted, and we can be too.   Resources for Survivors: Local Resources - Unity Point: https://www.unitypoint.org/quadcities/services-get-help.aspx | https://www.unitypoint.org/quadcities/services-additional-resources.aspx Amy's Gift: www.amysgift.com Eating Disorder Coalition of Iowa: www.edciowa.com National Resources -  National Eating Disorder Association: www.nationaleatingdisorders.org ANA (National Association for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders): www.anad.org The Alliance for Eating Disorder Awareness: www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com

"What matters most is how we walk through the fire." - Charles Bukowski + Trigger Warning+ Sexual assault, PTSD In this episode, we welcomed Maggie to the mic to tell her survival story. Maggie is a semi-retired pageant girl and a two-time survivor of sexual assault. She transformed her pain into purpose by founding Trauma Queens, a nonprofit dedicated to helping other survivors of sexual assault - a bad ass, Beautifull move for sure. But do you know what else Maggie is? She is tired. She is recovering from a major loss last year - a loss she describes as the death of a lifelong dream - and she is tired. Tired of the rigidity, the obsessive pursuit of greatness, the endless expectation she be more. She is right in the middle of letting parts of her life come undone... and that is just as bad ass and Beautifull a thing as all of her other work that came before this part.  Maggie is grace and grit, full of healing wisdom and hope for the future. Resources for survivors of sexual assault: Local Resources: Family Resources National Resources: RAINN Resource for people with PTSD: NAMI  

"There is beauty in terror. No feeling is final. Just keep going."    +Tigger warning: Sexual assault, suicidal ideations, chronic pain, breast cancer + The episode kicks off the Survivor Series with a powerful interview with Laura, a survivor of sexual assault, 6 years of unimaginable chronic pain, and breast cancer. Laura is a force, but a gentle force - she offers the audience a new perspective on suffering, one that turns the listener toward hope. She has words of wisdom for transforming pain into purpose, a transformation she has allowed herself to undergo as a result of learning to survive. Join this chorus of courage by subscribing to Beauti: The Interviews and check out more about The Beautifull Project.   Local resources for sexual assault survivors: Family Resources: http://www.famres.org/services/survivor-services National Resouces: www.rainn.org Resources for people surviving central pain: America Stroke Association Resources for breast cancer survivors: Local: Gilda's Club National: Susan G. Komen

Prepare to be filled, friends... Season Two is HERE! In this episode, Sarah spends just a few minutes prepping you for what you can expect from Beauti: The Interviews during this Season of Survivors. She talks trigger warnings, trauma, and big ass triumphs in this short intro.

Surprise! A bonus episode with Mikhayla Hughes-Shaw, Miss Iowa 2018. Mikhayla opened up about growing up in a body that she felt she needed to hide, about her decision to believe that she had more to offer the world than her body, about her commitment to helping other women know the same thing. Find out more about Mikhayla and her platform - How About Hope - at her website. www.mikhaylahughesshaw.com. Enjoy this special episode and be sure to subscribe to the podcast before the January 24th release of season two - the Season of Survivors.

In this episode, the Founder of the Beautifull Project tells her body story. She shares her earliest memories about being a little kid in a fat body, about a lifetime of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, about finding freedom in a chorus of courage that refuses to shrink in order to fit. This episode is the final episode in Season One: Taking Up Space, and she discusses the plans for Season Two: The Season of Survivors. You don't want to miss this one.

In this episode, we sat down with Ann, a woman who struggled to find her truth, but now speaks with a voice so clear and articulate that it's hard to hear anything but wisdom in her story. We made space in this interview for her story of living in a thin body. She laid out some great structure for the connection between weight and health, making way for a new understanding... one that is defined by the way our body FUNCTIONS as opposed to the way our bodies appear. We also talked about roller derby and burlesque and how we can only find our body by literally FINDING OUR BODY. She's a courageous genius, this one.

She's baaaack! Jessica joins us again, a happy, healthy, postpartum mama with some good stuff to share about the birth of her second child, about releasing herself from parent guilt, about beginning to accept the limits of her control.

In this episode, we make space for Nicole, an entrepreneur, an artist, a light to the people who are privileged enough to be near her. She helps us understand her experience as a child caught between her feuding parents. She sheds some light on the way access to food influences our relationship with food. She wants all of us to understand that fat is something she has, not something she is. This woman, and her words, are a gift.

In this episode, we sit down with Teri, a woman who weaves truth and humor together into a story that invites the audience to lean in. She survived an abusive childhood, an experience that she’s allowed to galvanize her into a force that unapologetically takes up space in the world.

In this episode, Kim talks about her own body story, one marked by her experience as an adopted child in a family with whom she shared no physical characteristics. Kim talks about searching for her people for the ones to whom she could belong and she ultimately channeled this sense of disconnection in a way that propelled her to discover the healing power of touch. As a massage therapist and body worker, Kim offers compassionate touch to her clients, accessing their healing by way of her own.

Trigger Warning: In this episode, Tiffany talks about surviving sexual assault and other forms of violence. She also references suicidal ideations and other substantial impacts of trauma. If any of these topics could be harmful to you, please exercise caution if you choose to listen.

In this episode, we talk with Jenna. Jenna is a woman with a story about awakening. She gently weaves her narrative through a childhood marked a body that was too much, around an adolescence tightly wrapped up by insecurity, and then directly toward a place of healing and transformation. She talks about starving and binging and obsession over every ounce of food that passed her lips. She unpacks her belief that the size of her body was directly proportionate to the amount of love she was worthy of receiving. She details the events that led to her healing with such crystal clear vision that it could make even the most cynical person believe that healing could be in their reach too.

In this episode, we interview Ashley, a mama, a wife, and a woman who has spent a lifetime trying to compensate for feeling like she was taking up too much space in the world. She tenderly shared a story from her childhood about understanding that she just didn’t fit, and went on to reveal the ways that she has worked to develop a personality that distracts people from the size of her body. We talked about people pleasing and the inevitable loss of self that we discover when we are constantly hustling for acceptance. We talked about raising daughters and the fact that we absolutely MUST unpack our own pain in order to be present to our girls. We talked about fear and pain and loss… and we talked about courage and hope and joy.

In this episode, Sarah sits down with her mom to understand how generations of body stories help to shape our own body story. Her mama opens up about being a "chubby" kid, an adolescent who would do anything to be thin, and a woman who is working toward finding joy. Truth telling at it's finest and a true gift on Mother's Day.

In this episode, Jessica dives deep into the cultural narrative surrounding the pregnant body, the endless expectations placed on a pregnant woman, and the need for a new dialogue around what it means to be in a body that can grow another body.

In this episode, we interview Delia, a woman who has demonstrated seemingly endless supplies of resilience throughout her life. Delia grew up with a white mom and a black dad in the 80’s. She lost her dad when she was in 4th grade, and had to discover a way to navigate a world of always feeling like she was in between. She was in between a black identity and a white identity, in between belonging to either world completely. She talks about finding a way to belong in her peer group as one of only three people of color in her grade school, and she is brutally honest about her relationship with her body, about how far she’s come and about how far she has to go before she can find a place of peace. Which is actually the perfect way to describe this interview.. Brutally honest

In part four, Courtney Courtney dives deep into a conversation about the crippling impact of expectations. From our families, from our culture, from our communities. She tells a few incredible stories about the lengths she’s gone to in order to change her body. And most importantly, she demonstrates a ton of wisdom when she opens about what it means to just stop. Stop pleasing, stop performing, stop delivering on everyone’s expectations. Just stop.

This is the third part of a four part series with the models from The Beautifull Project. In this episode, Rumaisa talks about the intersection of culture, religion, and belonging. She opens about the vulnerability required to stand in your own truth in spite of what everyone might think about you. To find out more about The Beautifull Project, go to www.thebeautifullproject.com

The Danielle Interview by Beauti: The Interviews

This is the first of a four part interview with the models for The Beautifull Project. They share their body stories and expose all of the ways that they've attempted to shrink in order to fit. Find out more about The Beautifull Project at www.thebeautifullproject.com