Called to Love: An Adoption Podcast for Christian Parents

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast. In this episode, me and my special guest Nick Connolly encourage you not to give up just yet! Nick is the founding and lead pastor of Bright City Church, and he is the author of a book titled "Don't Give Up Just Yet" which sparks today's conversation. It feels like these days we're all struggling so hard to get through life. Add the calling of adoption or foster care on top of it all and it can feel like too much. When we face resistance in our callings, it may seem like a sign that it wasn't meant to be... but as Nick points out, it could be that the resistance gets stronger the closer we are to the finish line. In our conversation we talk about the struggles we face, the need for true rest and sabbath, and expectations verses expectancy. Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast. In this episode, me and my special guest Cynthia Yanof are helping you unpack what it means to say "yes" to that God-sized calling. Cynthia is an author, podcaster, busy adoptive mom who raised kids in foster care after having her own kids and being a lawyer. Her new book is called, "Life is Messy, God is Good." Foster care changes you. It is beautiful and it is painful, all at the same time but Cynthia says she can't imagine who her family would be without this in their story. Some people think fostering or adoption is a mighty spiritual and noble thing, but it is very messy and doesn't feel very spiritual in the hardship. It can often feel like you're standing alone, because you have friends and family members asking "Are you sure?" with concern on their faces. You find yourself reluctant to say "yes..." Cynthia and I also discuss the lies we often combat with giving our reluctant yes to God. There's the constant comparison game and feeling unimpressed with the ordinary, but God is the one who determines success, not the metrics of this world. Cynthia encourages us to be intentional about the story of our life that we are writing, because it is the story our kids grow up seeing play out: what kind of story do you want them to see? Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to this fourth part in our mindful parenting series with our amazing guest: Kelly Hamilton.Kelly is the Founder and Executive Director of “The Connected Life.” She helps people build healthy connections to God, themselves, and others. She is a speaker, trauma-informed life coach, and podcaster. She and her husband serve foster and adoptive families in their home in Kentucky. You can find all her links here!In this fourth part of our conversation, we are tackling reactive parenting. Let's face it, we've all done it: responding disproportionately to your child's actions, and this can happen for a variety of reasons as Kelly explains. We are likely dysregulated or triggered for some reason, and need to follow these 3 steps: -Get curious: Am I thirsty, hungry, tired, or overstimulated? -Make a plan to meet that need: Talk to your husband, friend, family member, to help get what you need in the moment, like a 5 minute break. -Be consistent and keep trying. Changing habits doesn't happen overnight. Our goal should be to build trust with our children and that comes through humility and apologizing when our actions go out of line, which in turn gives our kids an example for how they should act when they've messed up. We should be continually working towards a healthier place and acknowledge it won't be easy or perfect. Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

In this second part of our conversation, Kelly Hamilton and I tackle the attachment styles. Being aware and mindful of our own attachment styles and the styles of our children make a big impact on that growing connection with our child, whether they're biological or adopted. Developing your relationship with your child is a lifelong commitment and there is so much hope for reconciliation and healing, even if its hard and ugly.Kelly is the Founder and Executive Director of “The Connected Life.” She helps people build healthy connections to God, themselves, and others. She is a speaker, trauma-informed life coach, and podcaster. She and her husband serve foster and adoptive families in their home in Kentucky. You can find all her links here!Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

In this second part of our conversation,  Kelly Hamilton and I are tackling the attachment styles. Being aware and mindful of our own attachment styles and the styles of our children make a big impact on that growing connection with our child, whether they're biological or adopted. Developing your relationship with your child is a lifelong commitment and there is so much hope for reconciliation and healing, even if its hard and ugly.Kelly is the Founder and Executive Director of “The Connected Life.” She helps people build healthy connections to God, themselves, and others. She is a speaker, trauma-informed life coach, and podcaster. She and her husband serve foster and adoptive families in their home in Kentucky. You can find all her links here!Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the second season of Called to Love, Episode One! I am kicking off this new year and new season with an amazing four-part series with a very special guest: Kelly Hamilton. Kelly is the Founder and Executive Director of "The Connected Life." She helps people build healthy connections to God, themselves, and others. She is a speaker, trauma-informed life coach, and podcaster. She and her husband serve foster and adoptive families in their home in Kentucky. You can find all her links here! In this first part of our conversation, we are tackling the definition of "mindfulness" and why it is so important for our parenting, especially when it comes to adoption and foster care where kids are entering our homes with intense emotions. We have to be able to regulate and demonstrate that regulation to these kids, help them build healthy, secure attachments, and be purposeful (not reactive) in our parenting. Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

This episode features a special guest: Nikki Hertzler. Nikki is a teacher, foster mom, and author of the book "Help! I'm a Foster Parent!" Nikki and her husband decided to accept the call to foster after becoming empty nesters, and it has been a long, hard and beautiful journey to pour into these kids and lift them up to become healthy adults. Nikki and I talk about the reality of fostering, the challenges it can bring, but also the beauty of it, how God uses this to refine our weaknesses and depend totally on Him. Fostering is a ministry but its in our very homes. There are over 400,000 kids in the U.S. foster system, but there are over 300,000 churches. If the Church steps up in this ministry, we could possibly reach every child who needs a home and needs hope. Accepting the call doesn't mean God asks you to become a foster parent. There are many ways to be involved from providing meals to babysitting and more. If you're wrestling with this call, know that we are strongest on our knees in prayer. Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

This episode features a special guest: Tori Hope Petersen. Tori is the best selling author of "Fostered" and is a sought after public speaker and advocate for those whose stories need to be told, such as the survivors from human trafficking, kids in foster care, and others abused and needing hope.Tori shares her foster story with me, how she was removed from her mother not just once but twice, and went through several foster homes. Tori talks about the good and hard parts of foster care, how it shaped her, and how it brought her to Jesus. Tori's story helps us better understand the experience of foster kids and equip us better with how to approach these kids, share the love of Jesus, and model what a life of hope looks like.Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

This episode features a special guest: Laura Kuehn. Laura is founder and owner of Cornerstones for Parents, where she combines God's word, writing, and supporting parents. She is a licensed therapist and author of More Than a Conqueror: A Christian Kid's Guide to Winning the War on Worry. Together, Laura and I discuss trauma behaviors and responses in children, the relationships between the body and brain, and practical ways to help calm a child before the anxiety takes over. Laura also brings up the role model Jesus presents to us for how to navigate these hard feelings which can be overwhelming. Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Navigating the holidays can be overwhelming for foster and adoptive families. As parents we can feel pressure to curate magical experiences for our kids but those may not always be best. Depending on your child, many common expectations and events may be difficult for your family to take part in due to overstimulation and social anxiety. In today's episode I discuss how to navigate the holidays as foster and adoptive families, how to safeguard from unnecessary frustrations, how to prepare extended family and friends if your family needs to pivot the plan and the reality of "trauma-versaries."Thank you so much for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome back to Called to Love!Closing out our highlight of Adoption Awareness for the month of November - let's talk about 5 practical ways you can support those who are called to love in the areas of foster care and adoption.Whether you are waiting for your child or first foster placement or in over your head and have no idea how to answer when someone offers help - today's episode is for you! FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:I have such a passion to see the big C church step in to this area of service beyond calling people to adopt - there are many practical ways they can do thisOftentimes foster and adoption placements happen with little warning but always with much disruption to their normal rhythms of lifeCheck out my latest article on Christian Parenting and share this podcast with a friend!Thanks for listening!

Welcome back to Called to Love!Today we will conclude with part 2 of my conversation with adult adoptee, author, speaker and Women's Ministry Specialist, Andrea Lennon.I pray you have been encouraged and learned much through her perspective and experience.If you have questions or specific topics you'd like to hear covered on this show, SEND ME AN EMAIL - I'd love to hear from you!Thanks for listening!

Welcome back to Called to Love!Adoptive parents, through no fault of their own, only have one side of the story and experience. Oftentimes it can be difficult to understand the struggles our adopted children experience.Today we have the honor of hearing from Andrea Lennon. Andrea is an adult adoptee and as she will share in today's conversation, her journey has not always been easy, but God has written her story in a beautiful way and I know she is going to bless you today in part 1 of this uplifting and informative conversation!Andrea is the Women's Ministry Specialist for the Arkansas Baptist State Convention, speaker and author for Andrea Lennon Ministry and host of the Inspire on the Go podcast. Andrea was called to ministry as a teen and has a passion to see women experience an authentic faith walk with Jesus. Thanks for listening!If you are enjoying Called to Love, please leave a rating and share with your adoption community!If you have questions or specific topics you'd like to hear covered on this show, SEND ME AN EMAIL - I'd love to hear from you!

November is Adoption Awareness month and to celebrate and bring awareness, I am welcoming my husband Corey to the show to have a candid conversation about our 10 year adoption journey. We hold nothing back as we share honest and raw stories from the many experiences both beautiful and hard and offer insight into how God's calling doesn't always turn out as we planned but it is always as He ordained. It's not always easy to answer God's call to love when God's calling isn't clear or results are far from what you expect, but this is what inspired this ministry and we hope it inspires and encourages you in your current season. If you have questions or topics you'd like to hear discussed on this podcast, SEND ME AN EMAIL and I'd love to devote episodes to come to serve you and your family. Thanks for listening!

Welcome back friends - today I am talking about Parenting Your Foster and Adoptive Kids with ConfidenceHave you ever struggled with the feeling of not being qualified to parent your adopted or foster child? Do you struggle with the fears that you are irrevocably messing up your child because there were and are things you simply didn't know…until you learned them - sometimes through messy trial and error?I think all parents feel that way to some degree, even with their biological kids -but there can be a heavier weight to that term adopted in front of your child's description that leaves you wrestling with whether you are either qualified to say yes or qualified to keep going.In this episode I am going to talk about 5 responsibilities of parenting based on scripture and talk about why you are qualified to parent the child or children God has called you to love.Scriptures mentioned:Psalm 4:8 -  In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.Col. 3:20-21 - Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.Proverbs 1:8 - Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.Proverbs 22:6 - Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.Proverbs 13:24 - the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.Deuteronomy 6: 5-9 - 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:Our children receive a birthright when they become a part of our families - and even if you are fostering right now, they are still under your umbrella protection, guidance and spiritual authority.God has given you the children, He's given you the how-to manual and He has given you full access to Him through the Holy Spirit to seek Him every step of the way as you parent these unique and beautiful lives He has entrusted to your stewardship.

On the last episode we talked about the reality of spiritual warfare as foster and adoptive parents.The reality is, when you said yes to this calling a war cry was issued against you by the enemy because you stepped into something he delighted to destroy - to take part in the ministry of reconciliation.Oftentimes the attack is aimed at your marriage because the enemy knows a husband and wife unified in their obedience to their calling is a force to be reckoned with. Therefore, we need to be aware, know how to identify and understand the enemy's tactics and take action.In today's episode I will share 5 ways to safeguard what is sacred - your marriage! Thanks for listening!I'd love to connect with you on Instagram, Facebook or JOIN MY EMAIL LIST for weekly episode reminders and free resources!Favorite Takeaways:For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ~ Ephesians 2:10Every day we are putting our energy toward something - those relationships that matter most deserve our most intentional effort - do the work to safeguard and maintain it, or do the work to repair it later.During your prioritized time together, establish phrases or words to communicate a need for help or reprieve during high stress or exhausted situations - do the work on the front end to prevent hurt in the moment.Be ready to throw the first punch because it is not a question of “if” the enemy attacks your marriage, but when.

What do you think of when you hear the term spiritual warfare?When you said “yes” to foster care or adoption you agreed to step into something the enemy of our souls delighted to break and when you did,  the enemy said “this means war” Where there is declaration of war, especially when it comes to our families, we have no choice but to stand up, armor up and fight - but how? In today's episode we are going to focus on the spiritual warfare adoptive and foster families face. We are going to talk about:Who is the enemy?What is his goal?What is his "why?"What are his tactics?What can we do?FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:People experience spiritual warfare in a variety of ways - some are oblivious (especially if they are not a child of God yet) others brush it off as irrelevant and not a part of their daily life, others still blame satan for everything and don't take the fair share of the credit for their own sin nature and sanctification process. The battle can be fierce at times but we know as believers that we have been given the authority and power in Jesus' name to reject, rebuke and resist the enemy.

Did you feel like an expert when God called you to adopt or foster?I sure didn't. While we learn along the way, it's always helpful to have an experienced and expert voice to speak into tough topics like trauma, child development and mental health. In this episode I sat down with author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Travis Thompson. Travis brings clinical expertise to today's conversation with extensive experience in addiction therapy, mental health and outpatient clinics with a family-centered focus. He and his wife have fostered kids from hard places and have a heart to see families say yes to the calling of foster care and adoption. Travis and I discuss attachment, how trauma affects development and behavior and what foster and adoptive parents can do to help a child heal and thrive. FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS: If you're working from an incorrect lens you are going to be addressing things that are not there or you are going to be missing things that are readily apparent.One of the most helpful things you can do is learn. One of the key components to successful parenting is self-regulation.God gives grace where you haven't learned yet Learn more from Travis at:https://www.travisthompsoncounseling.com/To Those Left Behind: Helping Partners and Families Understand and Heal from AddictionYES! Send me the BONUS EPISODE with Travis Thompson!

Welcome back to Called to Love - today we are finishing out our intro series: Reframing Your Mindset as A Christian Adoptive Parent and I pray you have been encouraged so far - As we consider everything we have discussed so far in this series, notice the action words…reflect, remember, establish, surrender. Saying yes to adoption or foster care requires intentional and ongoing action and for our last episode in this series I want to add one more word to that list of intentional actions…embrace - God's call to love.When God speaks to your heart about adoption, He gives you a choice to say “yes” but what I didn't understand and have since learned is He's also issuing an invitation and a choice to learn to love in an entirely new way. I was all in and committed to the warm-fuzzy, instant connection, this-is-going-to-be-a-fairy-tale kind of love. But love in the trenches? Yeah, it wrecked me. Why? Because to love in this way meant I had to change.  What does it mean to love in this way?Let's dive into that together today…Connect with me on Instagram or Facebook!To dive deeper Into this series, grab your FREE GUIDE at christianparenting.org/calledtoloveFAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:Ahavah = Hebrew word for love. The root word is "ahav" which means "to give"Love isn't an emotion at all, true love is action. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7Without patience and kindness, children's brains cannot begin to heal, and their hearts cannot begin to trust and therefore, they cannot learn to receive or give love.It can be difficult not to judge or even celebrate the removal of a child from hard places due to the nature of their former life situation, but as Christians we are called to show grace even in the worst of circumstances.The old adage is true, “actions speak louder than words.” You can tell your child you love them all day long. But the truth of your devotion will be established and proven by your reliable presence and display of love through the way you meet their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

Welcome back friends! Today on the podcast we are continuing on with Reframing Your Mindset as a Christian Adoption parent...Today's topic is surrendering your fears - this is such a big one because, no matter where you are in your journey - there is always something you can choose to be fearful about. And usually our fears are expressed through the questions we ask. Adoption comes with countless questions, unsettling risks and a good amount of fear. Once you sense the Lord's prompting to take steps toward adoption, a flood of worst case scenarios aren't too far behind.So what questions can we ask and which questions are the right ones?Let's dive in and see what God's Word says!Download your FREE guide HERE!FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:Behind every question concerning adoption there is a heart crying out for a guarantee. As much as we all desire that fairy tale ending, what we really want is to dodge those worst case scenarios. This is very normal and nothing to be ashamed of because we have an innate tendency to self protect.When God prompts you to do holy work, the enemy is always standing at the ready to whisper lies that will sabotage the whole plan.God is not frustrated by your questions. He welcomes the wrestling as long as you do it alongside Him and with a “thy will be done” mindset.Am I called?What step is God asking me to take?Our God is infinitely patient and when He wants you to do something, He doesn't leave you alone about it.

Today's topic is Remember Your Why. And this is an important one because, it can be really easy to get caught up in the emotions, the excitement and the overall Hallmark idea of it. But the truth behind adoption is there is loss, grief and sometimes trauma and we as parents need to balance our perspective between the beauty and the loss to help us discern how to best love and guide our children. There is more to this calling than just the Insta-worthy arrival pics…much more - and today we are going to go deep as we examine God's heart for the family, His heart for adoption and why there is a need for adoption. And I want to leave you with a challenge, wherever you are in your journey - so, let's get started!To understand God's heart for adoption we first have to understand His heart for the family.God designed the family before He even established the Church. This speaks volumes about the importance of family in His eyes!The need for adoption exists because of the brokenness of sin. God's original design for the family did not include death, divorce, abuse, neglect, poverty or addiction. Just like with Eve, the enemy is constantly and relentlessly inserting himself into the relationships between men and women. He delights in disrupting and destroying God's perfect design for the family. Families who say yes to adoption are willingly stepping into brokenness, assuming a battle on behalf of another, dodging fiery arrows of lies and warring to overcome darkness with the light and truth of God's love.Regardless of how He designs your family, God's heart is for your family and all families to love, serve and be in relationship with Him for generations.This is something the enemy of our souls despises and will seek to disrupt at any cost, especially for adoptive families. Therefore, we are in a battle with him for the very legacy God desires for our children and families. Download Your FREE guide to this series HERE!

Today on the podcast we are continuing on with Reframing Your Mindset as a Christian Adoption parent...Today's topic is Establish Your Expectations. It is so easy to begin to craft our expectations for who our adopted child will be, how fast the process of completion will be and what family life will look like when your child comes home. Without realizing it, many of the struggles adoptive parents face with their journey and with their child are the result of unrealized expectations that haven't been met. So I want to speak into this today and offer perspective from both Scripture and personal experience. I have had a lot of “aha moments” since our daughter joined our family and one of the biggest aha moments I have experienced had everything to do with my expectations and my response to…well, how nothing happened as I planned. It's not too late to grab free download I have created to walk you through this series. Use it to refer back to the scriptures mentioned as well as journal and prayer prompts shared at the end of today's episode.GRAB YOUR FREE DOWNLOAD HERE! Favorite Takeaways:Adoption rarely turns out the way we expect. The adoption journey is filled with messy circumstances, unpredictable timing, and constant detours. And once your child comes home, things rarely unfold the way you imagined. The truth is, the expectations you set for your adoption journey will determine your mindset and how well you walk through it. Expectations can be a slippery slope and cause well-intended parents to trip up and focus their time, effort and energy toward an ideal that is different from what God has planned. Adoption is not about getting “a” child for your family, it is about walking a journey of obedience as God leads you to “the” child He has for your family.

I am so excited the time has finally come and grateful to be with you as we kick off this brand new podcast highlighting what it means to be called to love as adoptive and foster parents and right from the beginning I want to establish the framework and the mindset through which we will discuss every topic….and trust me, we are going to dive into many different topics during our time together from attachment, trauma, post-adoptive depression, how to love your kids when they rebel, how to navigate relationships with bio families.Honestly, more than I have time to list, so I am going to begin our time together with a 5 part series I am calling: Reframing Your Mindset as a Christian Adoption ParentAll throughout scripture we see adoption - the first account being Moses then other heroes of the faith like Esther all the way to Jesus Himself being adopted by His earthly father, Joseph.Scripture is clear that God has a heart for those in need of forever families but I want to try and help you avoid, or at least navigate better, some of the struggles my family and I personally experienced as well as common pitfalls adoptive and foster parents can face. The truth is, we simply didn't know any better, so my hope with this series is to, right off the bat, help you establish a healthy mindset wherever you are on your journey of adoption. And if you are currently serving in foster care, this absolutely applies to you as well!I have created a FREE download for you to utilize as a guide through these first 5 episodes and would love for you to grab it over at christianparenting.org/calledtolove.Check out the photo mentioned in today's episode HERE!Favorite Takeaways:Each of us are called to love God, love others and share Jesus.For those of us who are called to adoption and foster care, that calling takes on a whole new meaning as we run a very unique and beautiful race. It is not healthy to look back on things God called you away from ( aka Lot's wife), but it is healthy to look back and remember what God called you toward. Ebenezer - (stone of remembrance) a place of remembrance for a time when God clearly spoke and gave direction or came through for His people. (1Samuel 7)Adoption is not a process, it is a journey.You've heard it said many times but it bears repeating: God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.Let me share something I wish I understood much earlier in my journey - because God has called you to this, your journey of being qualified for this will carry on for the rest of your life.Called to Love is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Whether you seek to add to your family through foster care, private domestic adoption or you are called to travel internationally, every adoption story is uniquely beautiful. Yet, each shares a common language of calling, loss, and hardship.As Christian parents we have a deep desire to love and shepherd our children well, but it can be challenging to navigate loss, trauma and how to best love and guide our adopted children. One thing is for sure, adoption is more than a process, it is an invitation to go on a holy journey with the Lord and with your family. Like any journey, there will be valleys along with mountain tops and battles along with the beauty. The good news is, what the Lord calls you to, He will equip you for.Wherever you are in your journey, Called to Love is here to bring you a weekly dose of encouragement from the practical, clinical, and Biblical perspective along with personal stories from adoptive parents, adult adoptees and advice from various experts to help your family thrive in your journey and continue to say “yes” to your own call to love.Called to Love is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org