Podcasts about licensed marriage

Whitney is fired up about Oprah's recent podcast about going no contact. She also responds to a Mel Robbins/Karl Pillemer article titled "Life is Too Short to Fight With Your Family." She breaks down why these narratives are harmful, who they're really speaking to (and who they're ignoring), and the problematic assumptions embedded in questions like "where did you get this idea from?” Whitney challenges the toxic positivity of telling people to accept mistreatment from family, questions why we're not writing these articles to Uncle Joe who's being racist at Thanksgiving, and explains why "just accept and move on" advice completely misses the mark.Oprah's podcast: Oprah Explores the Rising Trend of Going No Contact with Your FamilyMel Robbin and Karl Pillemer article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/opinion/thanksgiving-family-fighting.html Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 03:31 Oprah's podcast 45:05 The Mel Robbins' NYT article 58:15 Taking a break in December Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kate Gray (@codependencykate) is back with Whitney to react to one of the most iconic dysfunctional holiday dinners ever depicted on television: “Fishes” from The Bear (S2E06). They break down the infamous episode scene by scene, analyzing how anxiety manifests differently in each of the three siblings, Mikey, Natalie, and Carmy, in reaction to an emotionally volatile mother, Donna. Even if you haven't seen the episode, you will almost certainly find a way to relate to Whitney and Kate's breakdown of holiday gatherings and the ways we so often find ourselves trapped in roles we thought we'd escaped. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 02:44 Episode setup 09:58 The kitchen scene 18:38 Natalie and Donna 28:59 Dining room scene 41:28 Mikey throwing forks at Uncle Lee 46:47 Donna loses it at the dinner table Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When your spouse is dysregulated, shut down, or lashing out in anger—what's really happening? And more importantly, what can YOU do about it?In this episode, I break down:✓ The biological difference between being technically safe and *feeling* safe✓ Why your partner may not identify you as a safety cue (even if you're trying)✓ The "Polyvagal Ladder"—how shutdown → anger → safety actually works✓ Why fight activation coming out of shutdown is actually a GOOD sign✓ The painful relationship cycle (and how to break it)✓ 4 practical tips to shift relationship dynamicsKEY TAKEAWAY: If you want your relationship to change, it falls on YOU to show up differently. You can't control your partner's nervous system, but you can regulate yours—and that's powerful.⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:0:00 - Introduction: Understanding Dysregulation in Relationships0:32 - Listener's Question: Navigating Marital Challenges2:01 - The Concept of Safety in Relationships7:31 - The Role of Fight Activation and Safety11:03 - Breaking the Cycle: Self-Regulation and Boundaries20:12 - Practical Tips for Changing Relationship Dynamics26:45 - Conclusion: The Journey to Self-Regulation

The Boundaries of Trust with Kaitlyn McCartyDo you find yourself trusting too easily? Do you have a hard time trusting anyone? In Episode 19, Karrie and Kaitlyn McCarty reveal that even though they found themselves at opposite ends of the trust spectrum, they both longed for the same thing; an inner circle where they could be vulnerable and loved as their true self. Kaitlyn, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Freedom Movement Facilitator, shares her insight on practical ways to begin to create an inner circle of trust, as well as set boundaries for people outside of that inner circle. Kaitlyn reflects on how she often found herself working hard to feel loved by people and to make herself “fit” into systems. She believed her open vulnerability could build safe spaces for everyone and that it would allow her to control the outcome of a relationship. Something changed when Kaitlyn found herself fighting a system she could not allow herself to fit into and it led her on a journey to finding a true inner circle. It required her to put boundaries in place for herself and redefined what it meant to trust as a more whole and integrated person.Kaitlyn is also the creator of Peace Practices, a four-week journey designed to help you explore the rhythms of your body and emotions. Through a blend of education, spiritual truth, and somatic practices, you'll learn how your nervous system works, how God designed your body, and how to honor your emotions without needing to “fix” them. Learn more about Peace Practices here: https://www.wearefm.org/offers/azjSLCUF/checkout Schedule a session with Kaitlyn here: https://www.wearefm.org/KaitlynKarrie's Instagram: @karriescottgarciaKarrie's Website: karriegarcia.comFreedom Movement Instagram: @freedom_movementFreedom Movement Website: wearefm.orgSign up for Freedom Movement Trainings: https://www.wearefm.org/trainingsFind Story Work Retreat info & sign-ups:https://www.karriegarcia.com/work-with-karriePurchase Karrie's book Free & Fully Alive!https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310366445?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_A6200T1AKD7FS2PZ8VA1Book Karrie for Speaking Engagements:https://www.karriegarcia.com/book-karrie Music by Tanya Godsey

In today's episode, I sit down with Marc Cameron, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, to explore one of the most influential (and often overlooked) elements of our emotional lives: attachment styles. Drawing from more than 80 years of research, Marc breaks down how our earliest experiences with our families shape the way we connect, communicate, handle conflict, and relate to the people closest to us well into adulthood. This episode offers a compassionate and scientifically grounded roadmap for understanding yourself and the people you love. Whether you identify as avoidant, anxious, vacillating, disorganized, or relatively secure, you'll walk away with clarity, validation, and practical tools for building healthier patterns of connection. Here is some of what we cover:  Why attachment styles are not personality traits, but relational survival strategies formed early in life Why “secure” doesn't mean perfect; it means the relationship feels predictable and safe most of the time How attachment ruptures can be healed in adulthood through awareness and practice Why the holidays amplify attachment triggers—family roles, old wounds and unresolved expectations How to move toward secure attachment by learning emotional language, practicing repair, and using the comfort circle  Connect with Marc Cameron:  Instagram: How We Love (@howwelovebook) Facebook:  How We Love Website:  How We Love – Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage Links Mentioned:   How We Love: By Milan and Kay Yerkovich Understanding Your Attachment Style:By Marc Cameron Love Style Quiz – How We Love Freebies – How We Love Related Episodes: Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 1) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 498] Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 2) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 499] How to Align with Your Spouse in Parenting :: Dr. Kim Kimberling [Ep 491] What Does my Child Need :: Amy and Jeff Olrick [Ep 480] SofM 2024 Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Causemetics:  Complete your holiday look with Thrive Causemetics. Luxury beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA Honeylove: Treat yourself or someone you love to Honeylove this holiday season and right now you can save 20% at honeylove.com/DMA Story Worth: Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you'll all cherish for years–Storyworth Memoirs! Right now save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to Storyworth.com/dma. 

Whitney addresses one of her recent viral posts about why using therapy speak with family often causes more problems than is useful. She also breaks down a scene from the Peacock show "All Her Fault" about parentified sibling dynamics. Then she answers to listener's questions about different sibling reactions to a narcissistic family and a mother's competition with her daughter. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:55 Why you shouldn't call your parents emotionally immature 05:54 Breaking down a scene from Peacock's All Her Fault 13:45 Listener question #1 18:22 Listener question #2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Feeling guilty is one of the most common struggles for people stepping away from a dysfunctional family. Whitney explores how guilt is a learned response, not necessarily an evidence of wrongdoing, and why you were trained to believe that meeting your own needs harms others. She discusses the difference between guilt and grief, how family members use guilt to pull you back in, and offers practical tools for moving forward and coming to terms with these feelings.  Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 1:19 Why guilt shows up when you start doing life differently 03:04 Guilt is a learned response, not evidence of wrongdoing 12:22 Decentering 20:33 Statements for feelings of guilt 26:17 Building a life where you feel safe and supported Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether you're skipping the family gathering, still debating about whether to show up, locked in for a chair-arm-gripping dinner, or spending the day alone, Whitney has a few tips for getting through the next 24 hours.  Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 02:44 Shut the door on social media that will only make it worse 05:40 Practice radical acceptance of your situation 07:08 Expect people to be who they've always been 08:00 Protect your peace by only engaging where you need to 10:54 You're allowed to have a good time Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What exactly is arousal? Is it more than just sexual? In this episode, you'll learn the four types of arousal (uppers, downers, all-arounders, and deprivation) and how we use addiction to avoid intimacy ("into messy"). Along the way, you'll also find out why recovery is not a "don't touch your penis" program and how the skill of "tension holding" can transform your relationships. Great conversation!Chris Chandler (LMHC, LPCC, EMDR, CSAT-S) is a licensed therapist, coach, and Clinical Advisor at Relay Health. He is also the founder of Christian Recovery Groups LLC, a national program helping men and women heal from compulsive and addictive behaviors through faith, community, and neuroscience-informed recovery practices. Over the past 20 years, Chris has led thousands through individual and group recovery experiences. His mission is simple: to restore people to wholeness by integrating clinical insight with authentic, Spirit-filled community because true recovery happens in relationship.Schedule a 30-minute consultation with Chris here.Andrew Engstrom is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with Seattle Christian Counseling, where he helps individuals and couples heal by understanding themselves better first. Andrew is certified in MDFT (a holistic approach to counseling treatment) and uses PREPARE/ENRICH in pre-marital and marital counseling. He offers support and insight for overcoming obstacles that stand in the way of forming lasting, fulfilling relationships with others and God.Learn more and connect with Andrew here.See a preview of Chris and Andrew's intensives here.Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

277. Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   1 John 1:9 AMP "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”   *Transcription Below*   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.   Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.   Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake.    Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth.   Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball.   Free Resource Mentioned in Episode   Building True Intimacy book   Questions and Topics Discussed: What were the warning signs that you noticed when you were newlyweds that tipped you off to believing things weren't quite as they seemed? Are there any common life circumstances, whether nature or nurture, that predispose someone to be more likely to struggle with a sexual addiction? As couples seek to thrive in marriage, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid you wrote a book about?   Other Episodes Mentioned During Episode: Pornography: Protecting Children, Personal Healing, Recovery, and Victory in Christ with Sam Black Pornography Addiction and Helpful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day   Additional Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Stories Series: Recovery From Sexual Sin in Marriage with Garrett and Brenna Naufel Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Special Patreon Re-Release Wholehearted Quiet Time with Naomi Vacaro   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:12)   Laura Dugger: (0:13 - 1:38) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com, or connect with them on Facebook.   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are my guests today. They are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Our conversation takes a few turns, from getting to hear their incredible and vulnerable story of healing and then getting tips for talking to our children about topics like sex, and also even receiving some practical wisdom and tips for enhancing our own marital enjoyment.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Matthew and Joanna.   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:39 - 1:40) So good to be here.   Joanna Raabsmith: (1:40 - 1:42) So glad to be here. Thanks for having us.   Laura Dugger: (1:42 - 1:51) Oh, truly my pleasure. And let's just start here. Can you share your story going back to meeting and falling in love and your first part of marriage?   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:53 - 2:17) Sure, yeah. It was a little bumpy at first, actually. So, I knew Joanna through her brother. Joanna's brother was one of my best friends, and I got to meet her whenever she would come in town and visit, and she would invade guy night. He would usually bring her along to like a Lord of the Rings movie or something, and I would be a little frustrated because I would be like, oh, you brought your sister. Great. That's wonderful.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:18 - 2:24) A little off-putting, not super friendly. And I was like, your friend's kind of a jerk. We did not like each other at all in the beginning.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:24 - 2:54) Not big fans. And eventually over some time, we started to realize we had a lot in common. We liked to do a lot of the same things.   And one summer that Joanna was in town, we started hanging out, started doing more and more together, and really just kind of developed a friendship, which was really fun. And at the very end of the summer, realized that there was something between us. And so, we went on one date.   Our first date, we entered a golf tournament. We won it, and that was a good sign.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:54 - 2:55) That's a pretty good sign.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:55 - 3:02) And we went on three more dates over the course of two months and got engaged.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:03 - 3:07) And then two months after that, we got married.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:07 - 3:16) Yeah. So, her brother went from like, yeah, it's cool you date my sister, to like, you're not ready to get married. But he's come around now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:17 - 3:19) 15 years later. Yeah.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:19 - 3:40) And, you know, a lot of it was, I think we had a definite sense of being kind of called together, being, you know, something special about who we were as a couple. And also, a recognition that we wanted to figure out what a good marriage looked like. We were really excited about marriage, but we didn't really know what we were doing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:41 - 4:15) Yeah, I've had a really great model of healthy relationship. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They work really well as a team.   And so, I knew, like, I want something like that. But as soon as we got married, we realized, but how do you actually build that? There's no, like, instruction manual for, okay, here are the things to do to have a great relationship.   And so, we read books. We went to conferences. You know, we did what we could, but we still found ourselves getting stuck, not able to really create, like, that deep sense of, like, connection intimacy that we really wanted.   Matthew Raabsmith: (4:15 - 5:17) And we started kind of hunting more and more for resources. We found some incredible resources that really changed our understanding of the way relationships work, the way people work, and really, for us, shifted our entire focus of kind of what we wanted to do, even with our life. And as we started to do that, though, we still kind of found ourselves at this kind of glass wall.   We felt like no matter what we tried, there was always this kind of distance between us. And that started to grow kind of over the years that we were together. It wasn't getting better.   It was actually kind of getting worse and worse and worse. And so, Joanna had actually decided to, after we finished our first grad degree together, the idea was we were going to go be pastors. And so, we had finished our kind of theological training.   Joanna decided she wanted to get a master's in marriage and family therapy so we could do some work around marriages and ministry in that way. And her very first-class kind of just set our life in a completely different direction.   Joanna Raabsmith: (5:17 - 6:26) Yes. So, my first class in the MFT program was a two-week intensive called Shame and Guilt. So, that's a really fun two-week intensive to be a part of. And as a part of that, though, they had an anonymous pastor come and share his testimony of struggling with sex addiction, becoming sober, getting into good recovery, healing and restoration in his marriage, kind of like that whole journey. And as he was talking, something inside of me started stirring. And I knew, OK, what he's saying is resonating way too much with me right now.   I think this is the thing. This is what is keeping us stuck, not able to really create the relationship we want. And so, that day I went home and first I just kind of started talking about my class, what I learned, what this pastor had shared.   Right. And nothing. Right.   We're just kind of talking generally about it. And so, finally I couldn't do it anymore. And I just stopped and I looked him square in the eyes and I said, “Are you struggling with this in our marriage right now?”   Matthew Raabsmith: (6:26 - 8:03) Yeah. And for the first time in my life, 20 years, I had been struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and acting out in our marriage. And for the first time in my life, I was honest.   I had lied for years, both with Joanna and everyone else. And the kind of floodgates just kind of opened up. And I finally said yes.   And it was really hearing the story, I think, is what did it for me. I think it was knowing that somebody else had made it, that their life hadn't come crashing down because that was the greatest fear for me. That the moment anyone found this out, everything in my life would be over. Everything that I loved would be gone.   And so, this kind of story of hope gave me a little bit of courage that day, to be honest. But that started a really long journey for us because there was a lot of damage that was done in both of my hiding. And now kind of this revelation, all the pain kind of came crashing down on Joanna and kind of her shoulders.   And so, we started a quite intensive recovery process. We talked about it being kind of a full-time job. I went to recovery for my addiction and for kind of my acting out behaviors. Joanna had to begin a process of healing from the trauma of this discovery. And that process took us a number of years. It really was a long kind of arduous journey, but one that we ultimately survived and now thrive in our marriage and get the incredible luxury and the kind of gift of helping other couples do that.   So, that's kind of where we find ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (8:04 - 8:30) That is incredible. I just really appreciate you sharing your story. Clearly, stories are so powerful and that's what led to some healing for you and hopefully can open the floodgates for somebody else listening.   So, if we go back in your story, then, Joanna, I'd love to start with you. What were some of those red flags in early marriage that things aren't quite as they seem?   Joanna Raabsmith: (8:31 - 10:28) Yeah, there are a few. You know, I think that, you know, one of the pieces we kind of talked about, like, OK, we knew we're still getting stuck because there's 90 percent that felt really good. But then 10 percent that was extremely chaotic, really destructive.   Right. We would get we call the pain cycles when we get emotionally dysregulated. And there would be some things that, right.   Sometimes we would get into pain cycles, get dysregulated. And I kind of understand why. Right.   Like something happened. There was the disagreement. But other times I couldn't put my finger on it.   Right. Matthew would just get really angry and really shut down. And I wouldn't be able to connect it to anything that had happened in our life.   And so, it was very confusing. It was really hard to understand what was going on. And I think kind of in the same way, when I would pull too close into that connection, that intimacy, he would pull back.   Right. And it felt like even though we both named this goal and this desire, he would never actually partner with me in it. And so, again, that was really confusing because the actions were not matching up with reality and what was happening.   And I think the other piece that was kind of true for us and true for a lot of other people is that our own sexual relationship was fraught with pain. And so, there was, again, a lot that was really good, but also a lot that was really painful and confusing. And some of the pieces just didn't connect.   Right. And I would wonder, OK, what's going on? Well, I guess this is just the reality that like this is how much we get to expect in this area of our life, right.   In our relationship. And so, it was when the pastor started describing his life and addiction and what that looked like emotionally, sexually, relationally. I was like, oh, those are all the things that I'm currently experiencing.   Here's one thing that would answer all those questions that I have. And so, I think that was part of it. He kind of told me, like, OK, this is it.   Laura Dugger: (10:28 - 11:00) That would be so eye opening. And my heart's going out to the couple who is maybe starting to identify with this. Was it and share whatever you're comfortable with from your story or the person's story who opened things up to you?   So, sexually, I'm wondering if it was for you, Joanna, if you were hoping to connect sexually and that wasn't happening and that was confusing. You didn't feel pursued. But I don't want to fill in the blanks.   So, could you elaborate?   Joanna Raabsmith: (11:00 - 12:03) Absolutely. Yeah. And we find it a lot of different ways than couples that we work with.   Right. And so, it can be sometimes on either side of the extreme. And so, for us, it was where there would be kind of times when he'd be fully present and interested and engaged. Right. And then all of a sudden, kind of like I described emotionally, he would just withdraw and not be there. And I would reach out to connect.   And that was this like non-response. And which, again, didn't match up with those other times when he was engaged and wanting to connect. And he would give some sort of excuse that didn't totally make sense.   Right. But I was kind of like, what else? What was I left with except that?   So, I would kind of believe that and go with it, even though it didn't sit right. And so, yeah, I think that was part of it. We will see on the other side for some other couples.   It's the opposite. And maybe that spouse is hypersexual in the relationship. Right.   To the point where there might be pressure, even pressure to do things sexually that people aren't comfortable with. And so, yeah, it can look a lot of different ways. But that was kind of what our disconnect looked like.   Laura Dugger: (12:04 - 12:33) That's so helpful. And there's two different directions I want to go, Matthew. So, I'll set it up.   I guess I'm thinking of the guilt and shame and how those are usually so present. So, I have two questions. Were you when Joanna came to you, were you at a point where you recognize something was off and you wanted freedom from this and or had tried freedom before?   Let's start with that and then I'll go into the other one.   Matthew Raabsmith: (12:34 - 14:40) Yeah, it really was holy timing in a lot of ways. I, you know, for a lot of years I had I hated what I did. I didn't feel like I could stop it, but didn't have a lot of interest in kind of doing anything to stop it.   I kind of just like would just say, “OK, this is going to be the last time.” And then, you know, of course it would come back. But I think at this point I had really started to see the damage that was happening to our relationship.   I could feel us growing close, growing further apart. I could see kind of Joanna and the confusion that she was having. And like she couldn't understand things.   She would ask me a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. And so, I actually a couple of months earlier, we were at a worship service, and they had said like, “hey, if you are ready to give something up, if you feel like there's something holding you back, come forward and confess it.” And Joanna and I were sitting next to each other, and I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit just like pulling me to like get up out of my seat and I wouldn't move.   I was like, no, because she's going to ask me what I went down for. I'm going there's you know, there's a random kind of prayer partner at the front. I'm like, I'm not going and confessing this to some random person.   And so, I was ready. But I think like I said, I think there was no path forward. It was kind of confess this and everything stops and ends.   But everything like marriage ends, life ends. And so, when she when she brought this, it really did feel like God had kind of been answering a prayer that I've been praying of like, if you give me a way out, I'll take it. I'm desperate.   I want it to stop. And it felt like that. I think it was both this kind of terror and this hope that day.   And even when I said, yes, it was a little bit like, what have I done? Like, could this have been different? Should I have just gone and told someone else privately?   Right. But I think ultimately that it was out between the two of us and that we kind of knew it. We knew what we were dealing with made a huge difference.   But I mean, God had been working in my life, offering opportunities for so long. I just been saying no, no, no. And then finally, you know, I think my heart just broke and it was like, yes, OK, I'm ready for this.   Laura Dugger: (14:40 - 15:14) I love how the Holy Spirit equipped you with that humility and courage to be brave in that moment. And it's such a blessing for all of us to get to see the end or I guess not the end of the story, but you at this point in your story where you're thriving. And so, I hope that offers a lot of hope to people listening.   But let's also pause. And so, going back further in time, Matthew, this was the other part of my question. What was life and attachment and your growing up journey like?   Matthew Raabsmith: (15:15 - 18:09) Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. Right. I a lot of this I figured out in the last couple of years of recovery.   You know, if you would have asked me, you know, as I was growing up about my life, I would have told you I had the perfect family. I had the perfect life. I think I did not realize that some of the things that I was going through weren't perfect, were harder.   And part of that was because I think the way my family dynamic worked was we just swept everything under the rug. You know, whatever happened, we just kind of went, OK, and moved on from. And I learned to do that as a kid.   And that meant a lot of emotional chaos. There was a lot of physical chaos and kind of volatility in our house growing up. And even though I had parents who are still married to this day, have stayed together and have tried to create kind of a stable life.   There was a lot of emotional and kind of relational instability. We moved around a lot. And then once we started moving, I found myself more and more kind of isolated at school. I started dealing with bullying and some things that really kind of left me not knowing how to deal with the pain that I was going through. And so, my way of stuffing things under the rug was getting, you know, escaping, you know, kind of escaping into anything that I could. I watched a lot of TV.   I was a latchkey kid, so I would come home. I'd watch TV a lot in the afternoon and then TV kind of just turned to more and more. And I was exposed pretty young to pornography, actually at a church camp.   I was at a summer church camp. Someone brought a Playboy magazine, and I was exposed to pornography. And I kind of felt that high, that rush.   And that just became kind of a mode of my escape. Right. Of whatever I could do to engage sexually, whether with my mind or with others.   That's how I could get out of the pain I was in. That's how I could stop feeling kind of the chaos that I was having and not realizing that it was becoming this kind of adaptive habit, that it would just be this thing I would go back to more and more. And I grew up at a time that technology was still emerging.   So, I can remember when we got our first computer and no one was talking about safeguards or anything. And so, it was just kind of exposure. Here you go.   Here's everything you could ever want and don't need. And that really became my life. And the more and more that I did, the better and better I got at lying and hiding and even being kind of vulnerable in kind of fake ways.   I would mention things like, yeah, we all have this struggle. And even Joanna, I had told like, you know, that was a struggle of mine in the past, but I've moved on from it. Right.   I told myself and other people just kind of lie after lie after lie so that I could have really this double life. I could appear one way and then I could be acting a completely different way, kind of in the dark.   Laura Dugger: (18:10 - 20:41) Yeah. And that makes sense. I'm thinking back to two episodes.   We did one with a male, Sam Black from Covenant Eyes, and he speaks so much of the origins of pornography and that foothold that Satan gets. And so many times it is in childhood, unwittingly you're exposed and then what it can turn into. And then Crystal Renaud Day came on to share a lot of females struggle with this as well.   And so, I'll link to those if those are a help.   And now a brief message from our sponsor. 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For me, I had to figure out what had really gone on in my life and what was really happening.   Because, like I said, I had become such an expert at hiding from myself and others that I didn't really know how to live any other way. And so, I, you know, Joanna kind of handed me a list of everything this pastor had done. She was like, here you go.   Right. She kind of handed me that list and was like, good luck. And so, I dove in.   I went to a men's intensive. And I think that was probably one of the key places for me to tell my story for the first time. I really took a look at my life and had some people help me take a look and recognize the trauma that I had as a kid exposure that I had experienced and what that really meant to me and helped me understand what I was doing.   But also, kind of what I was doing to myself, how I was really kind of killing myself from the inside out and preventing myself from having the kind of relationship I wanted with God and other people. And so, that discovery was in really ways kind of invigorating for me. I felt like I was living for the first time.   I think I had started to kind of get out of this kind of burden, this fear of always being caught. I told Joanna kind of the history of everything that had happened in my life and our relationship. And so, I was feeling this kind of renewed sense of like energy and excitement of like, this is good.   I want this life. I want the life there that I'm not in constant kind of fear and in constant kind of connection to this thing I hate. And so, which is really different than what Joanna was experiencing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (22:30 - 25:07) Yeah. So, for me, it was very jarring in the beginning. Everything I thought was real came crashing down around me.   And that was especially jarring because I had left kind of the direction, the path that I was on. Right. We talked about our story earlier.   It included two months of dating, two months of engagement before we got married. And that also included me dropping out of law school, getting married and moving to California to pursue a ministry degree so we could work as pastors together or do something together. And so, in that moment, all of that came crashing down.   And I kind of was very lost, not just in our relationship, but in kind of what in the world am I even doing here? What am I going to do moving forward if he doesn't choose recovery? Right.   And so, just all of those question marks, all in that one moment of him answering that question affirmative. And so, so there was like that heaviness on one side and then on the other side was this relief of finally everything I've been experiencing makes sense. Right. Finally, I feel like I actually know what's going on. And because of that, there could maybe be a path forward for us as well. So, is this very, very weird dichotomy in that moment? And so, but I think I knew right away, like, I can't be vulnerable. I can't be intimate with him anymore. Right.   I have to step back in our relationship and wait and see what he chooses to do. Is he going to choose to do the work of recovery and get healthy and start to be honest and safe or not? And so, that's so we kind of did kind of there's some space for a very long period of time while we focused on our own individual recoveries.   And that, again, was a little bumpy for me. This is over a decade ago. And so, there is very little information about what partners experience.   We call it betrayal trauma, and that just wasn't a very common word at the time. And so, some of the resources I plugged into came from a more we would call it codependent, co-addict focus, which just really didn't fit. So, I struggled to find resources that felt like they fit for my journey.   But once I did, it all again, my own healing process started to make sense. And it was so like freeing and liberating to understand. Like, oh, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is why I feel this way.   This is what it looks like to heal and move forward. And so, kind of beginning that process was so important because then when Matthew was kind of in a healthy, safe place, I was as well, and we can start to step in towards each other on that kind of more couples' journey at that point.   Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:17) I love how you did that wisely, though, separate first, not rushing into couples at that time. Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (25:18 - 26:33) Appreciate you calling it wise. I think we were terrified. Yeah, we'll take God's help.   I think he was like, you guys just work on your own stuff for a while. And in some ways, like I said, it was we didn't know what we were doing. But I think we knew we wanted there to be a future between the two of us.   But we knew it had to be completely different in some ways than what we had before, which was scary because we liked what we had before. Like we had a really great marriage in many ways. Right.   There was this portion of it, this hidden portion that was really infecting and killing it all. But what we did have together, we didn't want to totally lose. It just was really hard to know, especially early on, what's going to come forward.   Like, who are we still going to be as we go forward? Are we still going to be a couple who does things together? Right. Who works together? Or is that all kind of going to have to be different? Is that the only way that we have kind of moving forward?   And so, that was that was probably the hardest part was having like this sense of like not wanting to lose us. We were like, if we lost that, that was going to be miserable. And I think a lot of our work was about how do we eventually reclaim this marriage that we want, that we love?   Laura Dugger: (26:34 - 27:04) Yes, because from what I'm sensing, you're friends with each other, you're on purpose or on mission with God. He did a course correction change, putting you on this path to help couples. But your desire to work together, it's like He still honored that in the ministry of reconciliation.   And I'm assuming abundantly blessed it beyond what you could ever dreamed up what we're doing now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (27:04 - 27:42) Right. It's been amazing to see what God has done, how he's used our story, which is so fitting because it was someone sharing their story that brought our healing. And I think because of that and it wasn't right away; it took some time to get to the place where we felt open to God using our story to bring healing to others. But we found as we stepped into that, that we have received such a blessing.   Right. And just being able to sit with other couples in that journey and see them go from that place of pain and confusion to this place of restoration and thriving. Like there is no better work that we could have imagined for ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (27:42 - 28:09) Love that. And really, you did have to pioneer a path. There weren't many resources at that time.   So, that's another reason I'm grateful you can share your story, because I hope it unlocks freedom for others. So, if we're turning more outward now and you're helping as you work with couples, how do you help them identify the difference between sexual struggles and sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (28:10 - 30:15) Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that it really kind of exists on a spectrum. And so, everything kind of exists under what we call problematic sexual behavior or unwanted sexual behavior.   Whenever someone is acting in a way sexually that doesn't align with their values. And then the question is, is how often, how compulsive, right? How habituated, right?   How really embedded is that practice? Because the more and more embedded it is and the more and more that I continue to act on that, seeing the damage that it's doing, that's really what qualifies as the addiction. The addiction is when I know that this is causing harm and I and I feel that even though I want to stop it and I've tried to stop.   Right. I can't stop the 12 steps has a great line. They say addicts, you know, addicts have no problem stopping.   It's staying stopped. That's hard for an addict. Right.   And so, that's usually a sign that there's an addiction. And really what that means is that just means that I'm going to have to be even more kind of thorough and scrupulous in my willingness to change a lot. Because if I have built an addictive lifestyle, that means everything I do kind of functions to support that lifestyle.   Right. And so, my part of that was this hiding. I lied about everything.   I would lie about anything just to make sure that I was in control of the narrative. And so, for me, it was recognizing that if I was going to move forward free of my addiction, then it had to begin with honesty, with this kind of radical honesty and transparency and growing in that consistently, because that was the way that I manifested this addiction and kind of kept it going. And so, that's really what the addiction is about, is recognizing what are the kind of pieces in my life that are supporting this addiction to continue to exist?   And how is God going to dismantle those things? Right. And how am I going to be a part of that dismantling?   Laura Dugger: (30:16 - 30:33) That's well said. And also, I'm curious, are there any common life circumstances, whether that's nature or nurture, that are more likely to predispose someone to more likely have this struggle with sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (30:34 - 32:30) I mean, there are, I think, you know, the things that we tend to look for are trauma and trauma comes in so many different forms. So, trauma is more it's rare that it's a single event. It's often more a kind of consistent occurrences.   As I mentioned, you know, I can't speak to kind of one event in my life that I say this was the traumatic moment in which everything changed. But it was more of the chaos. And so, I grew up in a family that could be really, really, really loving and incredibly encouraging and fun and silly and in a heartbeat switch into one that was verbally and physically just chaotic and terrifying.   And it was that chaos that kept me on edge. What it did was it created in me kind of a system of always wanting to be on high alert. And that would exhaust me.   That would kind of wear me out. And I would want to kind of numb that kind of feeling away. And so, I think those traumas, I do think early exposure.   Right. I mean, I was exposed early before my brain was ready to really understand what it was dealing with. And I think the third component that we often see is a low level or a kind of really a void of sexual education.   There was I'm sure I had a small talk with my dad at some point, but we were not talking about pornography. We weren't talking about bodies. We weren't talking about sex from a kind of healthy, good way.   I grew up in the church, and it was kind of don't do this until you're married and then you'll be fine. Right. That was the sexual education message.   And so, those things, right, trauma, exposure and lack of kind of education usually forms in someone a difficulty of knowing what they're doing, knowing that it's destroying them before it's really kind of gotten a deep hole.   Joanna Raabsmith: (32:30 - 33:20) I think like the brain. The brain aspect to when we talk about addiction, there are usually chemicals involved in addiction being formed, being created. And so, I think also co-occurring disorders, right, that emotional pain, also things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, where my brain really likes the dopamine it gets from sexual acting out. Right.   And you can actually need it to feel OK. That can also be a factor in kind of especially that addictive side of these behaviors. When my brain gets really attached to that dopamine release that it's getting because maybe I have some other things going on or I just have emotional pain.   I don't know what to deal with, how to handle it, how to regulate that in a healthy way.   Laura Dugger: (33:20 - 34:30) There's so many good points there. I'll just highlight one because there's a profound piece that you were talking about with early exposure to evil and the corruption of it is extremely harmful. And yet not being exposed to God's good design for sex and hopefully being coached by our parents, that is both of those play a part in the addiction. And so, I'm thinking even as we shift to think about parents, I know I've had parents come to me and just say, I don't want to talk about this with my kids.   I don't want to rob their innocence. And my approach is if God made it, this is good. We can talk to them.   You're not robbing their innocence when you're sharing the good age-appropriate parts of sex. And it's so great to be that first one to share with them. And I think it does the opposite of what we would expect.   We're afraid that that might make them hyper sexualized. But would you speak to that? Any encouragement for parents?   Matthew Raabsmith: (34:30 - 36:37) Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, even as parents, we've got kids and its still kind of navigating it. But I do think what it does is it lets someone learn the things they need to in the timeline they need to.   I think part of one of the things is that, you know, really good sexual education starts young. I mean, they start six and seven years old or even younger, just talking about our bodies. Right.   Because I think that's part of it. Really, this is about understanding the goodness of our bodies. This body was created by God, the maker of heaven and earth, and he called it good.   And so, I think part of a good sexual education begins with that. And then, what's really nice is once you've started the conversation, that means if your children are exposed or if they're presented with things that don't line up with what they've been hearing, they now feel safe to come and talk about that. Because that's really what this was about.   I didn't feel safe to talk about what I was exposed to, what people were doing. Right. And what people were encouraging me to engage in.   And so, you know, my parents would ask me how it's going. I would not tell them anything because it wasn't a conversation that they were having with me. And so, I didn't think it was a conversation I was going to have with them.   And so, that meant that as I found myself further and further away from my values, I felt like, who am I going to share this with? And so, part of having the conversation is it normalizes with our kids that this is OK to talk about, which is actually what adults need. I mean, part of our work with couples as adults, we have to get them talking about sex and body parts.   I mean, it's amazing to have 30, 40, and 50-year-olds in our offices and in our sessions. And they're so uncomfortable. Right.   They don't want to talk about sex. They don't want to talk about their bodies. They don't want to talk about what their bodies do.   Right. And we keep being like, this is God's good stuff. Right.   There is goodness here. But you have to begin by talking about it. Right.   Having these conversations.   Joanna Raabsmith: (36:38 - 37:54) I tell all the parents I work with, your kids are going to pick up a narrative about what sex is and what sexuality is, whether you want them to or not. And so, would you rather be the first person to step in and give them a healthy view, a healthy narrative to understand? Right.   And this is beyond kind of the nuts and bolts that everything our kids are learning. They're trying to find a deeper meaning. They don't think it's unconscious when they're young. Right. But they're taking it and they're going, what meaning does this have for me? How does this inform my self-worth, my view of my own value as a human in my body?   And how does it inform my experience of the world and my safety in the world? And am I empowered to make decisions? Am I connected?   Do I belong? Right. All of those questions are asking.   And so, as they're confronted with issues of sexuality, it's going to inform those things. And the world will not give them a healthy narrative about it. Right.   And so, being able as a parent to step in and give them that healthy meaning, that narrative, that understanding of their worth and their safety as they're piecing together kind of sexuality, again, at that age-appropriate level is so important.   Laura Dugger: (37:54 - 38:30) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well.   If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com. And I love that you're talking about this with couples you work with.   So, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid that you actually wrote a book about and you teach to couples?   Joanna Raabsmith: (38:30 - 38:31) Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (38:31 - 39:15) Yeah. I mean, it was born out of our journey because, as you said, we wandered for a while and we felt a little bit like Israel, just kind of, you know, knowing that the Promised Land was out there, but never really feeling like we could find it. And when we started to piece together, I think the kind of relationship that we had dreamed of reclaiming, we really ask ourselves, how can we make this a more direct, a simpler process, not just for couples who went through what we went through, but really for any couple who's hungry for this, for the couple like us when we were first starting.   It really wants an amazing marriage. And so, we really focused on a kind of simplistic idea of what are the core kind of foundational levels of building really healthy intimacy.   Joanna Raabsmith: (39:16 - 40:10) Yeah. So, the intimacy pyramid, it's actually a triangle. There's a visual that goes along with it.   So, if you imagine the different levels of the triangle, very similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting at the bottom, you have to start with honesty. And so, we definitely experienced that reality in our own relationship. Right.   This is something we learned from Couples in Betrayal, but like Matthew said, we realized this is where every couple starts. Am I willing to be fully open, fully honest and transparent in this relationship? Am I being my authentic self?   Right. And after that level of honesty, that's when we start to build safety. And that has to do with our ability to communicate in really healthy, constructive ways.   Even when it's hard, even when we're disagreeing, even when we feel like yelling at each other. Are we able to show up with that belief that we both have the same goal? We're trying to build something together.   Matthew Raabsmith: (40:10 - 41:57) And with honesty and safety, that's where we get to work on trust as a couple. That's that next level. And trust is where we start to be more partners, where we're really starting to kind of lean in, work together, kind of be courageous and saying, “Hey, this isn't just my life anymore, right?”   This is our life together. And as that trust is established, this is what allows for the incredible work of vulnerability. And there's been all these studies about vulnerability over the last few years and how important it is.   What we recognize, though, is vulnerability on top of nothing is actually really risky and kind of even dangerous. It's vulnerability that's built on healthy trust where we step in and we do share some of those deeper pains in those wounds, those fears. We start to really heal some of those kind of early traumas that we experience.   It's in that vulnerability. That's what allows a couple to be truly intimate. And it's when they've worked through each of these levels, what we find is these couples, when they reach this kind of this intimacy level, they're passionate about who they are as a couple. They love kind of their relationship itself. They have a purpose to it. They have a sense that like our marriage, our relationship exists for a reason, but they're also really playful.   They're silly. They're really kind of comfortable in their own skin. And it's those five levels really working together that allows them to experience a relationship that gives life. I think one of the things we know is that when God creates, it gives life. And so, God created marriage not to burden us, right? Not to kind of, you know, not even just to get us through, you know, kind of surviving life, but actually to bring more life.   Right. And not just life within the relationship itself, but life outside of it.   Laura Dugger: (41:58 - 42:22) Oh, I love it. And you're also working with couples. I've heard you speak before about the working on offering your spouse the gift of self-awareness. And so, what could couples expect? How do you actually work with them to grow in self-awareness and recognize things like the emotional process they go through in marriage?   Joanna Raabsmith: (42:22 - 43:48) Absolutely. So, awareness. So, in our book, we obviously detail the intimacy period much more.   And that's Building True Intimacy is the name of the book. But each of those levels we just walked through have different components that go into that. And awareness is kind of like one of the most important components of that honesty foundation.   So, we have to start with awareness and we can't really build anything if there's a lack of self-awareness. And so, when we work with couples, one of the first places we start is we kind of look at the past. Are they aware of what they've been through, what those experiences are, and how those experiences have shaped them into the person that is now in the present, showing up with their spouse.   Right. And so, once I start to have that insight from my past, from those experiences, how they shape me, I can better understand my present. What are the things that I feel and why do I feel those things in particular?   Right. And then when I feel those things in a relationship, and these are typically those kind of heavier, more challenging, more painful emotions. How do I respond?   How am I showing up? Because the reality is that all of us cope with emotional pain the same way we cope with physical pain. We go into fight or flight.   That part of our brain gets triggered and we respond with these kind of destructive relational coping behaviors that then hurt my partner.   Matthew Raabsmith: (43:48 - 46:22) Yeah. Like, for example, I told you about that chaos I experienced as a kid. And so, those would always happen around conflicts.   My parents would disagree about something. There would be some type of argument about, you know, and it could be anything where we were going for dinner or what color the curtains were. Right.   But it would create this chaotic environment. So, as I got married, the thing that I didn't like the least was any type of conflict. Joanna and I would get in when I could sense us disagreeing and we are both passionate.   We have opinions and we believe things and we get into this kind of disagreement and argument. It would freak my system out. And I didn't realize that because I didn't really know my past.   I didn't know what was going on. I would just really do anything to shut it down. I get angry and I try to get loud, or I just walk away in the middle of a conversation.   As Joanna was talking, I would just leave the room and my acting out was just a further manifestation of that kind of leaving the relationship. And so, part of my healing journey was to learn about my story and recognize, oh, OK, I can see what's happening. And what's really interesting is it still happens in our life today.   I've been in recovery for 12 years. I still feel the same things. Now it's more like when my kids are getting involved.   Right. And there's energy in the room and people are online. And then I go, oh, yeah, there it is.   There's my system again. It's starting to feel unsafe. It's starting to feel alone. And I know what it wants to do. It wants to get angry, or it wants to just shut down and walk away. And what's incredible is that we've learned the ability to see where we're at but also speak directly to that.   And so, what I get to do for myself now is I get to go, “OK, I know I'm feeling unsafe and I know I'm feeling alone. And I know I want to get angry to solve it, but it won't do it. But here's the truth. The truth is that I'm safe in God's economy. I'm empowered. I have an incredible partner in my life. I've never been alone. I've always had someone there for me. And Joanna is the perfect example of that.”   And that totally changes my sense of really kind of where I am. And it changes how I show up. I tend to be much more calm.   I ask questions rather than make demands. And it's that ability to kind of see where we're at and shift. That's just been such a game changer for our family and just for our own relationship.   We still have to work on it. You know, it doesn't always look that pretty. Right.   But when we do, it's amazing how different it goes.   Laura Dugger: (46:24 - 46:44) And then I just think of the generational impacts that has when people are willing to do the work. And so, if there's a brave couple out there who wants to seek their own help and healing, can you share where they can go for help, including the Raabsmith team and all that you have to offer?   Matthew Raabsmith: (46:46 - 47:30) Yeah, you know, we would love them to connect with us because I think one of the things we recognize was having guides along the way. I mean, we had to figure a lot out ourselves, but we also had some really incredible guides, some mentors, some coaches, some therapists. And so, we always just say, hey, connect with us.   You can find us at raabsmithteam.com. We have a heart for couples who want restoration and reconciliation because that's what we're getting to live and experience. And what's cool is our whole team, they're couples who've been through this work, but who also have been professionally trained to help other couples to just continue to guide and to grow relationships so that they're thriving and they're kind of giving that life.   Joanna Raabsmith: (47:30 - 48:10) Absolutely. We also love to give out resources. And so, we have the kind of we call it the honest connection.   And so, again, if you're starting this journey or even this is for any couple who wants deeper connection, deeper intimacy, learning how to do that on a daily basis in small ways is so important. And so, we have a worksheet that couples can take and use. We're happy to provide that for them for free and kind of try this for 30 days and notice the changes that you experience in your relationship.   And so, that's a great starting point wherever you are in relationship to begin that journey of connection.   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:10 - 48:14) And you just go to raabsmithteam.com/free and that resource is all yours.   Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:26) Wonderful. Add links for that in the show notes for today's episode. And is this then for any couple worldwide, nationwide?   Can you work with people?   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:27 - 48:55) We have we've got couples across the world, which is really fun. It's been really neat just to see the way that God has used our work. One of the things when we first started this journey, we started getting couples calling us saying, “Hey, I don't have anybody in my area that specializes in this, that understands this journey. Can I work with you?” And so, we kind of felt a calling to say we want to make sure that we connect with people wherever they are. And so, absolutely.   If you can hear our voice, you can work with us.   Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:14) I love that. And just as a little bonus practical tip, you kind of mentioned being proactive to thriving in marriage. Is there any encouragement that you could share or a specific practical tip that anybody could start to incorporate if they want to take their marriage to that thriving level?   Matthew Raabsmith: (49:15 - 50:12) Yeah, I think just the ability to slow down. We have a  nine, seven and six-year-old. We own our own business, and we like life and life can get incredibly fast.   And I think what we have found is when, as I was mentioning, when I learned the ability just to slow down, even if I don't fully just know myself slowing down and checking in, just where am I at right now? Where's my heart? Right. Where do I want to be?   I think I realize that so often my values and my actions aren't aligned when I'm moving too quickly. I'm not being the person that I want to be. And we see that in so many couples. We meet so many couples and there are two really great people who have a hard time working together. They have a hard time kind of being a team.   And it's usually because they're working so fast. They don't realize they're kind of working against each other. So, slowing down, I think, is such a big thing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (50:12 - 51:18) Another piece that's, again, really easy to start right away. A lot of couples we work with, and I think probably even us when we start a relationship, was there were two individuals in a relationship, and it was kind of either me or you. And starting to understand there's this third thing between you, the relationship. There's a third almost entity that really needs care. It needs nurture. It needs you to focus on its needs from time to time.   And so, beginning to approach the day, even approach conversations with this question of like, what does our relationship need right now? And even as you're trying to make decisions, what is the way we can decide this in a way that's good for our relationship or what decision benefits our relationship rather than does it benefit you or me? Because when you get into that struggle, it can become a competition.   It can become transactional really quickly. So, starting to ask that question, starting to talk about the needs and caring for the relationship very intentionally can be a way to shift that.   Laura Dugger: (51:20 - 51:38) Thank you for sharing that. I think that leads into my last question, because you already know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, Matthew and Joanna, what is your savvy sauce?   Matthew Raabsmith: (51:39 - 52:22) I kind of mentioned this, but I think it's the willingness to be honest. I was so willing to lie to myself and kind of really hide from other people. And I didn't even know that I was doing it.   But as I have learned to be more honest in really kind of healthy ways, right. You can dump, you can whine, you can complain, you can get angry. But truly being honest meant just looking at what I was feeling and trying to kind of figure that out and name that.   As I have learned that ability to be honest with myself and with others, it has just opened up a new world of possibilities. And it has shown me how many people care for me; how much God cares for me. So, I think that honesty is something I just want to practice more and more every day.   Joanna Raabsmith: (52:22 - 53:30) I think for me, just in my own journey and working with so many partners, that importance of being able to make empowered decisions in my life. Right. That I am really intentionally choosing the direction I'm going in life.   Realizing that instead of going into this more helpless, powerless victim stance is such a difference. And really the only thing that changes a lot of times is mindset. You don't have to overhaul your entire life.   Right. You have to add in like four hours of self-care and all of these things. But starting to shift that mindset into, wait, I have power in the decisions I make.   And one of the ways that's really important to do that is growing that self-awareness. I cannot make empowered decisions if I'm not aware of where I'm at emotionally, physically, spiritually. Right.   If I'm not aware of my needs on a regular basis. And so, slowing down to check those things in, sometimes even multiple times in the day if you're not used to that. So, you're more connected to yourself, to what you need, what you want.   So, you can start making those empowered decisions.   Laura Dugger: (53:32 - 54:00) I love that. It's just so enjoyable to host a very lively couple who's humble and you've done your work. And then you're willing to share all this overflow of goodness with all of us.   So, I think my prayer is that the Lord would richly bless you for this open-handed generosity of wisdom and your story and experience that you've shared with us and modeled for us today. So, thank you to both of you for being my guest.   Joanna Raabsmith: (54:00 - 54:03) Thank you so much. It's a joy being here.   Laura Dugger: (54:05 - 57:47) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Send us a textABA on Tap is proud to present Matt Tapia (Part 2 of 2):Matt Tapia is a dually-credentialed professional, holding licenses as both a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in Arizona and California and a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA). This unique background allows him to offer a comprehensive, integrated perspective on mental health and behavior, drawing from both clinical counseling and applied behavior analysis.Matt's therapeutic approach is heavily influenced by third-wave behavioral therapies, including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). His work focuses on helping individuals, couples, and families navigate a broad spectrum of challenges, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, life transitions, and caregiving stress, particularly for those within the autism and neurodivergent communities.In addition to his clinical practice, Matt serves as a Subject Matter Expert for the Behavior Analyst Certification Board (BACB) where he helps develop and review national exam questions for aspiring BCBAs and RBTs. He holds a master's degree in Counseling Psychology from Santa Clara University and is an active member of several professional organizations, including the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS). With a commitment to meeting clients where they are, Matt uses a collaborative, team-based approach to help people build meaningful and fulfilling lives.Support the show

Two years ago, I said AI couldn't replace therapists. I was wrong—about the technology, anyway. In late 2025, AI can now see you, hear your voice, and remember everything you say. But just because it can doesn't mean it should. In this episode, I'm exploring what's actually possible, who AI might actually help, and the uncomfortable questions we're not asking yet. This one might upset you. Good.Resources:

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kati Morton tackles the core question: Why Do I Feel So Behind? when it seems Everyone Else Seems to Have It Together. We dive deep into the psychological struggles of comparison, isolation, and overcoming trauma.We also address the debilitating internal experience: Are You Experiencing Complex PTSD? and provide clarity on What to Do When Your Brain Relates Everything to Trauma. Finally, we cover motivation loss, asking: Do You Have Anhedonia? and share strategies for Finding Motivation When Everything Feels Boring.‌ Don't forget to Like and Subscribe for more Ask Kati Anything episodes every week! Shopping with our sponsors helps support the show and allows us to continue bringing you these important conversations about mental health. Please check out this week's special offers: • MasterClass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to http://MASTERCLASS.com/KATI for the current offer. • Go to Remi (Custom Night Guards & Dental Solutions) http://shopremi.com/KATI and use code KATI at checkout for 55% off a new night guard plus a FREE foam gift that whitens your teeth and cleans your night guard. • Visit https://on.auraframes.com/KATI for an exclusive $45-off Carver Mat - Use promo code KATI at checkout Audience questions & timestamps: 0:00:39 (Q1) Dealing with Friendship Envy. Kati reframes friendship envy as an indicator of what you truly want in life. 0:06:59 (Q2) Recovering from Burnout. The Effort vs. Reward Strategy The key to recovery is assessing where your time and energy go, and then placing boundaries in areas where... My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQIf you've ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I'd be so grateful for your support. 0:14:12 (Q3) Moving On After Divorce. Rediscovery of Self Divorce is a huge loss, and therapy is a must. The core focus should be on figuring out who you are again through journaling (like The Artist's Way) and taking solo dates. 0:23:48 (Q4) Ego Death & Transformation. Ego vs. Connection Ego is a protective defense mechanism that, when overactive, can cause resistance, sabotage progress, and impede true connection. 0:30:10 (Q5) Why Everything is a Trigger (Complex PTSD) The listener is triggered by everyday items (like Vaseline) and experiences dissociation due to past sexual abuse by their mother. Kati emphasizes the brain is trying to protect the listener. 0:40:29 (Q6) In Crisis But Don't Want to 'Bug' Therapist. It's common for crisis feelings and body memories to intensify at night due to fewer distractions. Advice includes using crisis lines (988, 741741) 0:45:34 (Q7) Loss of Motivation (Approaching 70) Anhedonia and Behavioral Activation Lacking enthusiasm (anhedonia) and motivation is a common sign of depression in older adults, often linked to loss of purpose and isolation. 0:50:29 (Q8) Finding the Right Dose The feeling of being "numbed out" or lacking motivation on an SSRI is often due to blunted affect from a dose that is too high, or the wrong medication entirely. Ask Kati Anything ep. 290 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many women notice real shifts in desire, arousal, and physical comfort during the menopause transition. Yet most of us were never taught how to talk about these changes, or how to support our sexual health as part of overall midlife wellness. Sexual pleasure is a key marker of health. It's linked to hormones, cardiovascular function, sleep quality, mental health, and even long-term longevity.Because of stigma and a lack of open conversation, too many women quietly accept pain, low desire, or the belief that sexuality fades after midlife. It doesn't. Menopause changes sex, but it doesn't end it.In this episode, we break down what really happens to the body during midlife, how pleasure evolves, and practical ways to rebuild a healthy, satisfying sex life on your own terms. As I often say, every woman has her own unique health equation, and that includes sexual pleasure. There is no single path that works for everyone.My guest today is Dr. Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. She holds a Master of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Family Institute at Northwestern University, a PhD in Clinical Sexology from Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, and advanced certificates in sex therapy and sexuality education from the University of Michigan. Dr. Zar is the Clinical Director at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy practice specializing in evidence-based support for individuals and couples.Medical Disclaimer:By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical advice or to make lifestyle changes to treat any medical condition in yourself or others. Always consult your own physician for any medical concerns. This disclaimer also applies to any guests featured on the podcast.Find Dr. Zar:Website: https://www.rachelzartherapy.com/IG: @rachelzartherapyFB: @rachelzartherapyStay connected to JFW:Watch on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@jillfooswellness/videosFollow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillfooswellness/Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jillfooswellnessGrab discounts on my favorite biohacking products: https://www.jillfooswellness.com/health-productsEnjoy 20% savings and free shipping at Fullscript for your favorite supplements by leading brands:https://us.fullscript.com/welcome/jillfooswellnessSubscribe to the JFW newsletter at www.jillfooswellness.com and receive your FREE Guide on How To Create Your Menopause Health Equation Ebook. Schedule your complimentary 30-minute Zoom consultation here:https://calendly.com/jillfooswellness/30-minute-zoom-consultations

Whitney teams up with Samantha Dalton, group facilitator at Calling Home and host of the Nuance Needed podcast, to unpack season three of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. As someone who grew up in the Mormon church and is still actively deconstructing, Samantha provides invaluable cultural context for understanding the relational patterns, power dynamics, and trauma responses playing out in the show. They explore how religion and culture interweave to shape everything from marriages and gender roles to emotional maturity and family loyalty, and how even reality tv moments can create powerful moments of destigmatization and healing for viewers who have dealt with similar experiences. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Content warning: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, emotional abuse, and complicated relationship dynamics. 00:00 Introduction and content warning 01:43 Samantha's deconstruction journey 05:57 How Mormonism gets woven into every aspect of life 12:34 Early marriage and the impact on emotional development 23:51 Dad talk and coming to terms with their wives' success 34:48 Therapy culture in the show 57:24 The power and consequences of sharing trauma on reality tv Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In Episode 98 of the Thoughts from the Couch podcast, host Justine Carino, a psychotherapist and anxiety treatment specialist, discusses the complex question of whether to stay or leave a marriage.Joined by Andrea Dindinger, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, they explore the factors that lead individuals and couples to question their relationships, the importance of addressing repetitive conflicts, and the role of personal accountability in maintaining a healthy partnership. The episode also delves into the impact of divorce on children and the financial considerations for women contemplating separation.Learn more about how to set effective boundaries as a “people-pleaser”Learn more about Andrea Dindinger: https://www.andreadindinger.comFollow Andrea Dindinger on Instagram: @andreadindinger

Host David Warren speaks in depth with Kim Haar about the various aspects of family estrangement.  Note:  Kim is a Licensed Professional Counselor & Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Guest information:  www.thereshopehere.com  Our website:  www.oasisnetwork.org

Send us a textABA on Tap is proud to present Matt Tapia (Part 1 of 2):Matt Tapia is a dually-credentialed professional, holding licenses as both a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in Arizona and California and a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA). This unique background allows him to offer a comprehensive, integrated perspective on mental health and behavior, drawing from both clinical counseling and applied behavior analysis.Matt's therapeutic approach is heavily influenced by third-wave behavioral therapies, including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). His work focuses on helping individuals, couples, and families navigate a broad spectrum of challenges, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, life transitions, and caregiving stress, particularly for those within the autism and neurodivergent communities.In addition to his clinical practice, Matt serves as a Subject Matter Expert for the Behavior Analyst Certification Board (BACB) where he helps develop and review national exam questions for aspiring BCBAs and RBTs. He holds a master's degree in Counseling Psychology from Santa Clara University and is an active member of several professional organizations, including the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS). With a commitment to meeting clients where they are, Matt uses a collaborative, team-based approach to help people build meaningful and fulfilling lives.Support the show

Whitney answers two listener questions that explore complex family dynamics and different responses to dysfunction. The first question comes from someone navigating estrangement from in-laws who rejected their adopted teenager. The second is about what happens when siblings respond differently to the same dysfunctional family system. Whitney also discusses a moment from the show Special Forces where Kody Brown, a TV personality known from the show Sister Wives, takes accountability for his mistakes as a parent. Whitney also reacts to a recent post from Chad and Haley Kultgen from The Necessary Conversation podcast. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Introduction and episode overview 01:40 Special Forces and Sister Wives analysis 08:28 The Necessary Conversation analysis 17:43 Caller question #1 25:07 Caller question #2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Everyday Therapy, hosts Brett Cushing, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Dr. Karin Ryan, Licensed Psychologist, break down what ADHD really is (and what it isn't). They also explore how brain differences, neurotransmitters, and executive functioning affect focus, follow-through, and emotions, and they share realistic strategies for living well with ADHD.Whether you've been diagnosed, wonder if you might have ADHD, or love someone who does, this conversation offers insight, validation, and tools you can start using today.Tune in to Discover:What ADHD really means beyond the stereotypesThe neurological science behind attention, motivation, and impulse controlHow ADHD presents differently in men, women, and childrenWhy professional testing and diagnosis matter (and how they work)The connection between ADHD, anxiety, and trauma—and why they're often mistaken for one anotherHow medication, routines, and practical coping skills can make a differenceTips for managing focus, time, and distractions (plus: the “body doubling” technique)Why compassion and self-acceptance are essential parts of treatment Do you have feedback or topic requests? Email us at podcast@nystromcounseling.comWe'd love to hear from you!Follow along:InstagramFacebookNystrom & Associates

Send us a textIn this episode of The Mental Health Business Mentor, we sit down with Omar Ruiz, an amazing guest who believes marketing doesn't have to drain your time, energy, or bank account. Together, Omar and Margo explore simple, high-impact strategies—like optimizing your Psychology Today and Google Business Profiles—that can dramatically increase your visibility and bring in consistent referrals without adding to your workload. You'll learn how clarity, sustainability, and small, strategic adjustments can help you attract more private-pay clients while staying grounded in your values. Whether you're new to marketing or feeling overwhelmed by it, this conversation will show you how to build a steady client flow without burning yourself out.What You'll Learn:How simple, high-impact marketing tweaks can attract more private-pay clients without adding to your workload.The most effective ways to optimize your Psychology Today and Google Business Profiles for consistent referrals.How to build sustainable marketing routines that support your practice without draining your time or energy.Practical steps to improve visibility even if you're not “tech savvy” or comfortable with traditional marketing.Bio:As a featured expert on WebMD, Women's Health, Newsweek, and more, Omar A. Ruiz is a Puerto Rican–born, Boston-raised Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. He has run a successful solo private practice, TalkThinkThrive, for over 11 years, transitioning from insurance-based care to a private-pay model where he specializes in helping couples heal from infidelity.Beyond his clinical work, Omar is now the founder of Private Practice Marketing and creator of the Client Attraction System, an affordable course and coaching program that empowers therapists to market their private practices ethically and effectively, making the process feel less salesy and more authentic. Drawing from both his clinical and entrepreneurial experience, Omar is also a seasoned speaker and podcast guest. He is returning for his third year at the Mental Health Marketing Conference, has been a featured presenter at the Small Business Expo, & is known for offering concrete, actionable advice to therapists in private practice on podcasts such as Practice of the Practice, The Practice of Therapy, Private Practice Elevation, The Therapists Collective, and more.Connect with Omar Ruiz:www.marketyourprivatepractice.comhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/omar-a-ruiz-lmft-ab1b8738/https://www.linkedin.com/company/private-practice-marketing-llc/Dr. Margo Jacquot is the award-winning founder and Chief Care Officer of The Juniper Center, one of the largest woman-owned counseling and therapy practices in the Chicago area. With over 20 years of experience, she specializes in trauma recovery, addiction treatment, and LGBTQ-affirming therapy. Dr. Jacquot is also the host of the "Mental Health Business Mentor" podcast, where she shares insights on running a successful mental health practice. thejunipercenter.com Connect with Dr. Margo Jacquot: Website: thejunipercenter.com Instagram: @thejunipercenter Facebook: The Juniper Center

Whitney shares an interview with Harriet Shearsmith, author of "Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy Patterns and be the Parent You Wish You'd Had" and host of the Unfollowing Mum podcast. Harriet opens up about her journey from being completely enmeshed with her mother who lived with Harriet, her husband and three children to eventually becoming estranged after asking her mom to find her own home. They discuss the challenges of recognizing abuse in your own family system, the societal guilt of cutting contact with a parent, cycle breaking with your own children, and how to repair when you make mistakes with your own children. Harriet's new book: https://amzn.to/43vKLFO Harriet's website: https://harrietshearsmith.com/ Harriet's Instagram: @harrietshearsmith  Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Introduction to Harriet Shearsmith and her work 01:43 Harriet's story 15:19 The societal guilt of questioning your parent's behavior 26:07 The difficulty of defining abuse 44:14 Raising children who know their worth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever wished for a daily guide on your nervous system regulation journey? One that offers structure without being overwhelming, and personalized support without the need for intensive coaching?In this special announcement episode, Justin introduces a project he's been working on for months: the Self-Regulation Coach. Discover the "middle path" to getting unstuck—a tool designed for those who thrive with daily structure, gentle nudges, and expert guidance right in their pocket.Learn how this AI-powered app creates a personalized, step-by-step roadmap tailored to your nervous system. With bite-sized daily lessons, exclusive micro-mindfulness practices, and instant, compassionate feedback from your AI coach, you can build sustainable change at your own pace.If you're ready to move from feeling stuck to building a life of calm, confidence, and connection, this episode is your starting point.Start your personalized journey with the Self-Regulation Coach today: studio.com/justin/self-regulation-coachResources:

Have you ever noticed old messages about money, morality, or success still lingering—long after you've left a faith community or belief system that once shaped your world? In this episode, I sit down with licensed marriage and family therapist Emily Maynard to explore how growing up in or leaving a high-control religious environment can deeply influence your relationship with money. We talk about how these systems teach people—often from childhood—to view money through a moral lens: poverty as virtue, wealth as greed, or sacrifice as proof of goodness. For therapists who grew up in these spaces, those lessons can make it especially difficult to set boundaries, charge appropriately, or believe that rest and success are safe. Emily brings such grounded insight to this conversation. Together, we unpack what defines a high-control religion—not as a specific theology, but as a structure of control, shame, and rigidity that can leave lasting marks on how we see ourselves, our worth, and what we deserve. Healing Money Shame for Therapists with Religious Trauma Histories This episode is for you if you've ever wrestled with feeling selfish for wanting more stability, questioned your right to rest, or found yourself hustling to “earn” worthiness. (00:06:17) Religion Shapes Early Views on Money (00:09:31) Subtle Conditioning in Belief Systems (00:10:37) Healing After Leaving a Group (00:15:41) Sustainability in Healthcare Messaging (00:17:18) Money, Morality, and Control (00:23:16) Building a Sustainable Healing Practice (00:27:03) Money, Religion, and Belonging Breaking Free from Money Shame Rooted in High Control Religious Backgrounds Emily shares what she sees in her work with clients recovering from religious trauma: the body's lingering responses to old patterns, even years after intellectually moving on. We also explore how healing involves learning to make your own choices, rewriting your “job description” in private practice, and creating boundaries that allow sustainability without guilt. Here are a few action steps you can take toward breaking free: Notice the messages you absorbed early on. What stories about money, morality, or sacrifice still influence your financial decisions today? Practice autonomy with compassion. Try writing your own “job description” for private practice. What would feel fair, sustainable, and ethical for you? Challenge inherited shame. When guilt or fear shows up around charging for your work or taking rest, remind yourself: You are allowed to be well. Build new financial safety. Explore ways to connect money with care, not control—so your business can reflect your current values, not your old programming. If you've ever questioned your relationship with money after growing up in faith-based or high-control environments, this episode will help you begin healing the shame, rebuilding trust in yourself, and crafting a business that feels both grounded and free. Get to Know Emily Maynard: Emily Maynard is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. She works with adults with trauma, particularly religious trauma and high control religion backgrounds. Emily has a small private practice and is certified in EMDR. She loves Jeopardy and talking about things that make other people uncomfortable, like money! Follow Emily Maynard: Email: emily@emilymaynardtherapy.com Website:

Whitney unpacks a recent article from New York Magazine: “The Therapy That Can Break You” about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and what can go wrong when trauma treatment crosses ethical lines. She discusses the dangers of working with fragile populations without proper training, and what to watch for when working with different therapeutic modalities. She then answers two listener questions about navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat and balancing support for a depressed parent without losing yourself. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 01:06 Introduction to IFS therapy and The Cut article 02:49 What went wrong at Castlewood Treatment Center 09:52 Believing victims and the reality of false memories 18:08 The need for stabilization when working with trauma 25:51 Listener question 1: Navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat 31:32 Listener question 2: Supporting a depressed parent without losing yourself Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today's episode, I'm joined by someone whose work feels both timely and deeply needed — Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and eating disorder specialist, Chantia Sturman. She's the founder of Darling, Arise, a powerful self-paced course designed to help moms raise confident daughters who feel at peace with food and at home in their bodies.Chantia has spent years walking with women and girls through healing — from IOP and PHP levels of care, to outpatient therapy, to nearly three years serving in schools. She brings wisdom from every stage of the journey, and she delivers it with a calm strength that mothers will feel the moment she speaks.In this conversation, we talk about:What daughters actually need from us in order to develop a healthy relationship with food and identityHow to speak truth into our girls without making their bodies the focusSubtle ways diet culture sneaks into Christian homes — and how to gently guard against itHow God invites us to root our worth in who He says we are, not how we appearPractical tools you can start using in your home todayAnd how moms can heal their own relationship with food and body so they can model freedom for their daughtersChantia's mission is simple and so aligned with our heart here: to help families build homes where identity, purpose, and God-given worth run deeper than appearance. Through therapy, education, and compassionate guidance, she equips moms with the tools they need to raise girls who walk confidently in who God made them to be.This episode is gentle, rich, and full of the kind of truth that stays with you. Whether you're raising daughters or simply wanting to heal parts of your own story, you will feel encouraged, seen, and strengthened.Grab a cup of something warm, settle in, and join us for this beautiful and important conversation.Find Chantia at:Private Practice: www.tapestrycounselingco.comOnline Course: www.darlingarise.com

Whitney launches a new series exploring family dynamics in pop culture, starting with Netflix's "Nobody Wants This." Joined by Meg Josephson, author of the New York Times bestseller "Are You Mad at Me?", she breaks down the clash between Noah's enmeshed, guilt-driven Jewish family led by his controlling mother Bina, and Joanne's emotionally distant family that hides behind humor. They discuss what happens when parents fuse their identity with their children, the difference between closeness and enmeshment, how cultural expectations complicate boundaries, and whether you'd actually want to sit down at this family's dinner table. Connect with Meg:https://megjosephson.com/ Order Meg's new book:https://amzn.to/47tyvIi Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Introducing Whitney's new series 03:49 Character overview 09:07 When Bina's identity gets fused with her son 14:39 Closeness and enmeshment 27:51 Bina confronts Joanne 34:15 Joanne at Shabbat scene 50:55 The dinner table scale Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fiachra "Figs" O'Sullivan is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Bitcoin maximalist. His unique perspective bridges the psychology of human connection with the psychology of monetary awakening and exploring how pain drives transformation in both domains.› https://x.com/figsosullivan› https://empathi.com/blog/love-bitcoin-and-why-you-wont-change-until-it-hurts-like-hellPARTNERS

In episode 511 I chat with Melissa Mose. Melissa is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who treats OCD. Melissa is president of the IOCDF affiliate OCD SoCal. We discuss her new book for therapists on internal family systems therapy (IFS) for OCD, what is IFS, integrating IFS and exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), working with parts that get in the way of therapy, noticing and working with OCD parts, understanding parts of us, understanding OCD parts in detail so that we can notice intuition better, and much more. Hope it helps. Show notes: https://theocdstories.com/episode/melissa-511 The podcast is made possible by NOCD. NOCD offers effective, convenient therapy available in the US and outside the US. To find out more about NOCD, their therapy plans and if they currently take your insurance head over to https://go.treatmyocd.com/theocdstories Join many other listeners getting our weekly emails. Never miss a podcast episode or update: https://theocdstories.com/newsletter 

Darlene Lancer is an author, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and expert in relationships and codependency. Her bestselling books include Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist, Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You, and Codependency for Dummies. Each reflects her deep understanding of relationships and codependency recovery. Her newest book, Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships, zeroes in on the core issue that causes victims of abuse so much unhappiness.  Darlene's ability as an emotional intuitive enables her to identify problems at their source and to draw on her extensive personal and professional experience to find solutions. With over 30 years of providing self-esteem and codependency counseling, Darlene has helped countless women and men recover from codependency and trauma. For her, change requires awareness, courage, action, and being supported to take productive risks when ready. Her helping clients overcome self-defeating beliefs and behaviors enables them to be more self-expressive and enjoy greater life satisfaction.

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Whitney answers two listener questions that share a theme: how do you protect your peace while staying connected to difficult family relationships? The first question explores reconnecting with in-laws after a year and a half of no contact—when is it safe to reopen that door, and how do you move forward without reopening old wounds? The second addresses hosting family in your new home when one relative consistently disrespects boundaries and your independence. Both questions wrestle with the tension between honoring your growth and navigating relationships with people who haven't changed. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 01:14 Question 1: Reconnecting with in-laws after no contact 09:06 A few possibilities of what might happen here 11:59 Question 2: Hosting family when one relative disrespects boundaries 14:07 Potential outcomes of setting boundaries with the problem relative 17:56 Connect with the Family Cycle Breakers Club Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Stress, anxiety, and depression are seemingly everywhere and ever-present. Kelli O'Rourke Wall started her mental health journey as a patient and is now a therapist. She talks about the journey from client to helper and discusses her approach to the challenges all of us face in getting the help we need for our mental health. Kelli is a California-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families, empowering and supporting them through actionable healing strategies. Kelli's work and links can be found at Kelli O'Rourke Wall, LMFT. The State of Wisconsin's Dose of Reality campaign is at Dose of Reality: Opioids in Wisconsin. More information about the federal response to the ongoing opiate crisis can be found at One Pill Can Kill. The views and opinions of the guests on this podcast are theirs and theirs alone and do not necessarily represent those of the host or Westwords Consulting. We're always interested in hearing from individuals or organizations who are working in substance use disorder treatment or prevention, mental health care and other spaces that lift up communities. This includes people living those experiences. If you or someone you know has a story to share or an interesting approach to care, contact us today! Follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. Subscribe to Our Email List to get new episodes in your inbox every week!

Whitney explores parentification—what happens when children become caregivers, mediators, and "responsible ones" long before they're ready. Whitney shares research on how early caregiving shapes us, when it becomes harmful versus adaptive, and how to transform childhood survival skills into adult strengths without carrying the weight of obligation. She also breaks down the scene between Brittany and her estranged daughter on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:16 Breaking down the estrangement scene on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City 13:27 What is parentification and why does it happen? 17:19 The adaptive strengths of parentification 22:11 The maladaptive consequences of early caregiving 25:48 Transforming survival skills into strengths you choose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Soad Tabrizil joins Something For Everybody this week. Soad is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 15 years of clinical experience. In this conversation, we explore the complexities of mental health and illness, the importance of resilience in youth, and the impact of societal changes on therapy. We discuss the need for a clear distinction between mental health and mental illness, the role of parenting in fostering resilience, and the challenges posed by gender affirming care. Soad emphasizes the importance of reality in therapy and the need for community support, while I reflect on the significance of agency and choice in navigating life's challenges.  - See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://everybodyspod.com/deals/ - Shop For Everybody  Use code SFE10 for 10% OFF

In this compelling follow-up conversation, I welcome back Jonathan Cogburn, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Texas, to explore a nuanced conservative perspective on mental health services in schools. While we've covered many concerns about ideological overreach in school counseling on this podcast, Jonathan makes a thoughtful case for why certain levels of mental health intervention are not just appropriate but indispensable in our current educational landscape.We dive deep into the McKinney-Vento Act and its implications for students experiencing homelessness - a critical issue that most therapists haven't even heard about. Jonathan shares his extensive experience working with behavioral threat assessment teams and reveals surprising data about successfully prevented school attacks. We explore how schools can create positive cultures that prevent violence upstream, the proper boundaries between school support and parental roles, and why some vulnerable student populations desperately need these services.This conversation challenges us to think beyond binary positions about school mental health services, examining what a "just right" balance looks like that serves students while respecting parental authority and avoiding ideological indoctrination.Jonathan Cogburn is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in West Texas who currently works for an agency that provides a variety of support to school districts in his area  In that role he delivers state-required mental health training to districts, supports rural school counselors and homeless student liaisons, and co-leads a team of licensed professionals and school counselors that respond to crises and disasters. Follow Jonathan @SystemicTexism on X or on Substack.MAKE SURE YOU'RE FOLLOWING THIS PODCAST ON ANY PLATFORM OTHER THAN SPOTIFY. Spotify removes episodes for containing copyrighted music, even though I have a license to use my theme song, Half Awake by Joey Pecoraro. It's been a huge pain; I'll release an episode explaining this soon. In the meanwhile, find this podcast on your platform of choice starting here.  [00:00:00] Start [00:02:45] Defining McKinney-Vento and Student Homelessness [00:05:40] Unaccompanied Youth and School Support Systems [00:08:50] Mental Health Professionals' Role in Identifying Homeless Students [00:14:10] Student Leadership Summit and Success Stories [00:18:10] Association of Mental Health Professionals Conference Recap [00:19:45] Detransition Language Discussion [00:23:05] Values and Ethics in School Mental Health Services [00:29:45] Social Emotional Learning (SEL) Explained [00:33:00] Voluntary vs. Imposed Therapy for Students [00:40:13] Problems with Suicide Awareness Campaigns for Children [00:46:00] Overmedicalization and the Origins of Family Therapy [00:51:00] Family Therapy's Historical Role and Modern Challenges [00:55:00] Appropriate Levels of School-Based Intervention [01:04:30] Behavioral Threat Assessment Overview [01:35:30] Restoring School Function and ReadinessROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2025 to take 50% off your first month.PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCoursesTALK TO ME: book a meeting.PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission. ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!Learn more about Do No Harm.Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We kicked off the program with four stories and guests on topics we thought you might like to learn more about!In this episode we chatted with:Dr. Adrian Velasquez, Director of Sleep Medicine at Tufts Medicine, about how the time change affects your sleep/circadian rhythm and how to combat the symptoms. Mary Grauerholz, Member of OLAUG (Old Ladies Against Underwater Garbage), about their work cleaning garbage out of freshwater ponds on The Cape, and what "treasures" they've found.Saba Harouni Lurie, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Owner of Take Root Therapy, about America's obsession with "doomscrolling" on social media, the "national trauma" associated with it, and how this behavior is considered an addiction.Manny Hernandez, Founder of “The Scream Club” and Men's Transformational Coach, about his "Scream Club" where folks come to "let it all out" on a weekly basis. You can hear NightSide with Dan Rea, Live! Weeknights From 8PM-12AM on WBZ - Boston's News Radio.

Whitney tackles an increasingly persistent narrative about family estrangement: therapists are encouraging people to cut ties from their families. Drawing from hundreds of responses from her audience—including adult children and estranged parents—she examines what actually happens in therapy rooms and whether the notion of a "secret underground movement" of therapists pushing estrangement holds up to scrutiny. She also answers a listener question about breaking cycles of reconciliation and abuse with a verbally abusive parent. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Are therapists encouraging estrangement? 02:22 The origins of this question and why it matters 05:58 What actually happens in therapy rooms 14:45 The difference between support and persuasion 29:19 Criticisms of therapists 39:31 Listener question: Breaking the cycle with a verbally abusive parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney sits down with Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and author of the new book "Love the Teen You Have," to discuss practical strategies for parenting teens and pre-teens. They explore why the teenage years can be so challenging for parents, how to navigate individuation and identity development, and actionable tools for transforming conflict into connection—including how to handle difficult conversations about topics like sex, social media, and diverging values. Order Dr. Lockhart's new book: https://amzn.to/4hxwTQX Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart and "Love the Teen You Have" 03:23 Why it's hard to parent the kid in front of you 05:40 Understanding individuation and teen identity development 12:09 Why connection matters more than control 20:38 Handling difficult conversations with your teen 36:20 Conversations about sex, drugs, social media, and other uncomfortable topics Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In Episode 219 of the Transition Drill Podcast, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) Brett Ryan has spent nearly two decades helping first responders and military veterans confront trauma, rebuild relationships, and reclaim their lives. Brett shares how he founded Brett Ryan Counseling and built a private practice trusted by police officers, firefighters, and military service members.Brett explains how trauma affects those who serve on the front lines and why many still struggle to seek help. He reveals how methods like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) are transforming the way first responders and veterans process stress, recover from post-traumatic experiences, and reconnect with family.From his early years in ministry to his advanced clinical training, Brett's story is one of purpose and compassion. He discusses the stigma surrounding therapy, how confidentiality and trust are crucial for those in uniform, and the growing shift among younger first responders who now see therapy as mental maintenance rather than a last resort.This episode goes beyond the surface to explore what real healing looks like for those who protect others daily. It's a powerful conversation about resilience, emotional health, and the courage it takes to heal from the inside out.The best podcast for military veterans, police officers, firefighters, and first responders preparing for veteran transition and life after service. Helping you plan and implement strategies to prepare for your transition into civilian life.Follow the show and share it with another veteran or first responder who would enjoy this.CONNECT WITH THE PODCAST:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paulpantani/WEBSITE: https://www.transitiondrillpodcast.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulpantani/SIGN-UP FOR THE NEWSLETTER:https://transitiondrillpodcast.com/home#aboutQUESTIONS OR COMMENTS:paul@transitiondrillpodcast.comSPONSORS:GRND CollectiveGet 15% off your purchaseLink: https://thegrndcollective.com/Promo Code: TRANSITION15Total Force Plus ConferenceLink: https://totalforceplus.org

What should every therapist truly understand before working with clients who have eating disorders? In this insightful interview, Dr. Marianne Miller talks with Edie Stark, LCSW (@ediestarktherapy) about what ethical, inclusive care really means. Together, they explore why “gold standard” approaches like Family-Based Treatment (FBT) often miss the mark for neurodivergent, fat, queer, and BIPOC clients. The conversation highlights the importance of cultural humility, anti-fat bias awareness, trauma-informed care, and intersectional understanding in every therapeutic setting. Whether you are a clinician, a student, or someone in recovery who wants to understand what quality treatment should look like, this episode offers a thoughtful look at how therapists can grow, unlearn, and create safe, collaborative spaces for healing. Key Topics Covered Why “gold standard” models like Family-Based Treatment (FBT) do not fit everyone How anti-fat bias and wellness culture shape eating disorder care The importance of cultural humility and intersectionality in therapy Ways to create trauma-informed, consent-based, and collaborative care What ethical practice looks like when working with neurodivergent and marginalized clients How therapists can identify and challenge their own internalized biases Why eating disorder work requires humility, continual learning, and self-reflection Who This Episode Is For Therapists and dietitians who want to provide ethical and inclusive eating disorder care Students and early-career clinicians who are beginning to work with eating disorders Supervisors and consultants who guide others in complex clinical cases People in recovery who want to understand what to expect from truly affirming treatment Anyone curious about how bias, culture, and power dynamics affect eating disorder recovery Other Episodes With Edie The Hidden Risks of Non-Specialized Eating Disorder Treatment on Apple & Spotify. The Diet/Wellness Industry, Accessibility, & Diet Culture on Apple & Spotify. Anti-Fat Bias & the Importance of Advocacy on Apple & Spotify. About My Guest Edie Stark, LCSW, is the founder of Stark Therapy Group in California and Edie Stark Consulting, where she supports therapists through business consulting, case consultation, and supervision. She's also a feature writer for Psychology Today and advocates for ethical, media-accurate portrayals of eating disorders. Connect with Edie on Instagram at @ediestarktherapy and @edies_edits, or visit ediestark.com. About Dr. Marianne Miller Dr. Marianne Miller is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in eating disorders, ARFID, and binge eating disorder. She practices in California, Texas, and Washington D.C., and teaches self-paced, virtual courses through her binge eating recovery membership and her course ARFID and Selective Eating. Learn more at drmariannemiller.com or follow her on Instagram @drmariannemiller.

What if every argument in your marriage was actually an invitation for deeper connection?

Kevin Withem has a heartfelt conversation with David Bruce, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and elder. Kevin and David discuss Peter Scazzero's work "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" (Part 2) and how it applies to Healthy Church and spiritually healthy Christians. EHS Book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Healthy-Spirituality-Impossible-Spiritually/dp/0310348498 Learn more at https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/ Contact David Bruce through Psychology Today's portal at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/david-allen-bruce-culver-city-ca/822190 We survive on your donations: donate at www.commongroundsunity.org/donate. CGU has a vision to create and support gatherings of unity-minded Christians around the globe. Imagine the good news of these gatherings modeling the prayer of Jesus in our divided world. Please give us feedback by posting your thoughts and suggestions on our Facebook Page. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100068486982733 Please check out commongroundsunity.org to learn more about CGU, how to subscribe to the newsletter, join the Facebook group, or find the YouTube Channel. Check out our gatherings on the About page, where you can connect with other unity-minded Christians in your area. If you cannot find a gathering in your area, we can help you start one. It's not difficult or time-consuming, and we will help you out along the way. It really does, simply, start with a cup of coffee. If you want to volunteer or ask questions, please email John at john@commongroundsunity.org. Until next time, God bless, and remember, “Unity Starts With A Cup of Coffee.”

Whitney responds to a question from a recent controversial TikTok post: Are you a parent forever? What does it mean to be a parent across the entire lifespan? Should parenting meaningful shift at age 18 or at some point beyond? Do parent-child relationships become equal peer relationships in adulthood? Then Whitney answers a question from a parent who isn't sure how to interact with her adult son and daughter-in-law who have a newfound faith that has taken a more fundamental edge. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. November at Calling Home is all about parentification. Learn more at: https://callinghome.co/topics Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 03:08 Are You a Parent Forever? 07:04 What It Means to Lead as a Parent 14:39 Hierarchy in Parent Child Relationships 19:01 Q&A: Navigating Religious and Value Conflicts with Adult Children Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adolescence can be a whirlwind for teens and their parents. Between shifting moods, social pressures, and the rise of anxiety and depression among young people, many parents are left wondering: “What's normal, and when should I be concerned?”In this episode of Everyday Therapy, hosts Brett Cushing, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Dr. Karin Ryan, Licensed Psychologist, unpack the emotional challenges facing today's teens. From brain development and social media to the pressures of fitting in and the rise in mental health struggles, they break down what parents need to know (and how to help).You'll gain a clearer understanding of what's happening inside your teen's mind and heart, how to recognize when they may need extra support, and ways to build trust through even the toughest conversations.Tune in to Discover:How adolescent brain development impacts decision-making and emotionsWhy loneliness peaks during the teen years and how to help your teen build real connectionsThe link between social media, screen time, and rising rates of anxiety and depressionPractical tips for starting open, shame-free conversations about pornography, peer pressure, and mental healthSigns your teen might benefit from therapy—and what to expect from the processWhat confidentiality looks like in teen therapy (and how parents stay in the loop)Ways to model calm, supportive parenting when your teen resists helpResourcesSagent Behavioral Health Therapy ServicesContact the podcast: Podcast@SagentBH.comSubscribe & ReviewIf you found this episode helpful, please consider subscribing to Everyday Therapy and leaving us a review. It helps others discover the podcast and take the next step toward meaningful mental health support. Do you have feedback or topic requests? Email us at podcast@nystromcounseling.comWe'd love to hear from you!Follow along:InstagramFacebookNystrom & Associates

Whitney interviews Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, author of the new book "You, Your Husband, and His Mother” about navigating mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. They discuss why this dynamic is so challenging, the scapegoating of daughters-in-law, triangulation of husbands/partners, the difference between setting boundaries and being controlling, and a few practical strategies for surviving the holidays together. Connect with Dr. Tracy: https://www.drtracyd.com/ Preorder her new book: https://amzn.to/4hixF49 00:00 Why the Mother-in-Law Dynamic Is So Common 04:44 The Abandonment Wound 07:04 The Scapegoating of Daughters-in-Law 12:01 Abusive Daughter-In-Laws? 18:54 The Husband's Critical Role in the Triangle 24:09 Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts 28:24 Psychological Conflict Between Women 32:25 Practical Boundaries and Mindset Shifts for the Holidays Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When life takes an unexpected turn — whether it's going through a divorce or another unwanted circumstance — it can feel like survival mode is the only option. Our mental health begins to suffer, bringing increased anxiety, loneliness, and endless what-if questions. But there is hope — and this conversation with Lysa TerKeurst, Shae Hill, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Rebecca Maxwell will help you find it.In this episode, you'll learn:How the Bible and therapy actually complement each other, rather than compete with each other.Practical rhythms and activities for your mind that can help lead to peace.How to take the mystery out of anxiety by knowing exactly how to recognize it.A special thank-you to our partner for this season: Convoy of Hope. For over 30 years, Convoy of Hope has helped vulnerable communities around the world — and empowering women and girls is a key part of that mission. Convoy of Hope partners with women so they can start their own businesses to better support themselves and their families. Because when women are empowered, entire communities are transformed. Visit convoy.org/p31 to help empower women and girls today.Links and Resources We'll Mention in This Episode:Get your copy of Surviving an Unwanted Divorce by Lysa TerKeurst, Dr. Joel Muddamalle, and Jim Cress.Get your copy of Jesus & Your Mental Health by Rebecca Maxwell, and learn more about Rebecca's practice, Jacksonville Counseling Services, by visiting their website.Be notified as soon as new Therapy & Theology episodes are available! Enter your email address here to subscribe and stay connected.See Lysa in a city near you this fall on the Trust Again Tour. Bring a friend, and get your tickets here!The Therapy & Theology podcast is brought to you by Proverbs 31 Ministries. Proverbs 31 Ministries exists to help women encounter the Truth of God's Word in every season. Learn more here!Click here to download a transcript of this episode.Go Deeper:Listen to "When Divorce Makes You Feel Like You Weren't Enough" to hear a teaching on taking your thoughts captive.Listen to "How To Be Brave When You Don't Feel Brave."Watch "Stop the Shame Scripts Holding You Back."

Whitney analyzes scenes from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Love Is Blind to explore mother-daughter estrangement, purity culture shame, and how parents either repair or double down decades after causing harm. She breaks down Whitney Rose's advice to an at-risk mother, Bronwyn's devastating conversation with her mom about pregnancy shame, and two different paths to reconciliation in Love is Blind. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. 00:00 Using reality tv to understand real family dynamics 03:57 Real Housewives of Salt Lake City 15:45 The devastating scene between Bronwyn and her mom 27:45 Bronwyn's mom doubles down 36:28 A missed opportunity to heal decades of hurt 39:20 Love Is Blind Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Build a more functional family today. In this episode, Whitney breaks down the hallmarks of functional families, how these skills can be learned regardless of how you grew up, and practical steps to get started. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. 00:00 Introduction: What Functional Families Actually Look Like 02:31 Admitting When There Are Problems 03:51 Open Communication and Repair 04:37 Being Known Without Performance 05:17 Reliability and Dependability 05:57 Zero Abuse or Neglect 07:21 Unconditional Belonging 09:14 Small Actions You Can Start Today Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices