The Anonymous Us Project

"My 4 Children of Egg Donation I'll Never See": Speaking to her offspring, an egg donor laments her lack of contact with them, and insists that they are hers. "My Reasons for Donating": A sperm donor expresses his wish to meet his biological children, but is raising a son as a single parent and is strained physically and financially.

"Reading Between the Lines": A donor-conceived child analyzes correspondence from her or his terse donor to gain hope for further and more intimate contact in the future. "I Found Him": After discovering her or his donor through online research, a donor child worries about rejection, and is immersed in guilt and anxiety.

"Tell Your 'Kid(s)'. Don’t Wait.": A donor-conceived child advises parents to inform their children of the reality of their conception, illustrating her or his own unpleasant experience as a warning against waiting until the child is twenty-one or older. "Wanting to be a Parent": After years of awaiting the romantic and sexual urges that never came, a prospective parent considers raising children without a partner, though retains the knowledge of its potential effects on the child.

"Change of Heart": A formerly prospective parent mourns her potential child as she chose to cancel the embryo transfer that would have granted her motherhood. "My Husband Wants to be a Sperm Donor": After uncovering her husband's hidden communication with future sperm recipients, a woman is deeply wounded by his lack of concern for his biological children, as well as his already-established family.

"3 Dads": A donor-conceived individual relates a frustration that she/he is being denied a legitimacy to the emotional attachment they have developed to their long-deceased social father. "Lost and Longing": Experiencing severely conflicting emotions, an egg donor under the impression of anonymity, is contacted by her biological daughter. "To Lost and Longing": In response to a fellow author, a donor expresses a shared anxiety at potential contact with offspring ruining already established marital and familial relationships.

"That's Not My Name": A donor-conceived child elaborates on the difficulties of bearing a name belonging to a social family that proved unwelcoming. "Broken Record": Experiencing a duality of emotions, a donor child expostulates the lack of connection afforded biological offspring and parents, and the passivity with which many people approach this lack of connection. "What is a Parent?": A prospective parent sympathizes with donor-conceived plights, but also stresses the importance of raising children with a *true* family rather than valuing biological paradigms as the pinnacle of family dynamics.

"Regrets About Being an Egg Donor": An egg donor laments her decision of donation due to a prevalence of intended parents' rejection of their donors' identities in relation to their children. "You Are the Hero in Our Epic Tale": An intended parent expresses gratitude for her or his egg donor's contribution, and insists that the donor holds no shameful connotation in their lives.

"The Backwards Cinderella Story": Being raised by a social father, a donor child relates her findings that family, as well as fatherhood, is able to circumvent genetics altogether. "The Price of Motherhood": A donor-conceived child narrates the story of her conception, and her mother's tenacious and unconventional determination that brought her to life.

"Feeling Cheated and Used": An egg donor relates feeling betrayed after her friend agreed to inform the children they created together of their true maternity, seemingly only to achieve securing her eggs. "The Law of the Jungle?": An observer remarks on the similarities when a scene from Kipling's 'The Jungle Book' are used as an allegory for donor anonymity. "I Have a Sister": A donor-conceived child presents a paradigm of family not solely as one that is chosen, but also one that is comprised of blood relations as genuine kin.

You Are You": An adoptee reflects on the experience of reuniting with her/his birth family, the value of understanding the life one could have led, and the love and support already offered by an adoptive family. "Or Is It Me Being Selfish": Contrasting with other donor-conceived narratives, a donor child mourns the loss of her/his paternal figure as a position, not a specific man that manifests as a donor.

"I Often Think of Him": The parent of a donor-conceived offspring confesses to her child that she thinks often of the donor she used, illuminating his importance in the outline of their small family. "I Did the 'Right' Thing, Why Do I Feel So Horrible?": A former prospective mother tells of her intentions and near success in using a donor to conceive a child, her ultimate decision to cease the process, and the lingering sorrow that plagues with the absence of a child. "Motivation": A sperm donor defends his motives for donation with statistics and his own perspective, insisting that most donors are not as maleficent in reality as they are portrayed in our language.

"Fixing Birth Certificates": A third-party recounts the story of a friend who is currently advocating to exercise her right to have a birth certificate reflecting her genetic parentage. "Open Egg Donation": A prospective parent is so moved by the narratives of struggle recounted by donor-conceived individuals that she or he has resolved to use only an open donor for her or his future child. "I Feel Like You Are Thinking of Me, Too": An egg donor writes a letter intended for her daughter, who she severely yearns to know and love.

"Which is Worse...": A prospective parent is aghast at the pain donor children feel at the loss of their biological heritage. "Donor-conceived and Barren": A donor-conceived child expresses terrible sadness at the loss of her/his biological father, and, due to infertility, the loss of any future biological children. "Lost and Messed Up": A donor child admits that the absence of a biological father resulted in significant psychological difficulties. "I Wonder": Desperately a donor-conceived child writes to her/his unknown siblings, wondering if they have ever given thought to their donor-conceived status. "Possible Grandparent of Donated Baby": A prospective grandparent admits deep sadness at her/his son's infertility, which has resulted in his use of a sperm donor.

"All I Want for My Birthday": A donor-conceived child wishes for a conversation over coffee with her/his donor as a twenty-first birthday present. "Don’t You DARE Hit MY Child!": Recounting an abusive incident from childhood, a donor-conceived individual posits the question of whether social fathers are more inclined to mistreat their donor-conceived offspring. "Confused Donor": An egg donor finds the stories of donor children confusing and hesitatingly alarming as she considers her role in causing her children psychological hardship.

"10:22pm": In verse, a donor-conceived child expresses her/his discontentment regarding the contacting of donors and the difficulty in waiting for a response. "I'm Not Your Real Father": An eighteen year old product of sperm donation recounts her/his struggles to seek the missing part of her/ his identity that lies in knowing her/his biological father. "Re: Should I Go Down This Road?": Responding to a woman's query about informing her children of the truth of their conception, a donor-conceived child counsels her from the perspective of one with experience in the area of issue.

"If I Ever Told My Donor Another Thing It Would Be This:": A donor-conceived individual appeals to her/his sperm donor after he inaccurately assumes s/he desires an immediate and intimate connection. "I Ate Less Tonight": After her/his mother snidely berates her/his body and eating habits, a donor-conceived child elaborates on the cause of the abuse, as it is a distraction from parental secrecy about siblings.

“I Helped Start a Dozen Families”: A donor defends her/his donation by elaborating upon the pervasive anonymity of everyday life and human interaction. “Found and Know My Own Bio Mom, Trying to Figure Out How to Support My Donor Conceived Child”: A mother who was adopted as a child comes to terms with raising a daughter that is donor conceived, and supporting her as she might one day search for her biological mother.

"I Shouldn't (and Don't Deserve) to Feel Alone": A donor-conceived student finds solidarity with a peer sharing a similar conception. "No Longer Interested in DI": A man struggling with male factor infertility, despite the unrest his condition has caused within his life, chooses to forgo donor-conception on behalf of the potential offspring's well-being.

"To My Donor:": The looming possibility all donor children face regarding parental death becomes too much to bear after nightmares continue to occur of her/his biological father's dying. "I Met the Child My Donation Made": An egg or sperm donor reflects on the uncomfortable experience of meeting biological offspring that desire an emotional connection. "A Confession": After using an anonymous sperm donor, a social parent eventually uncovers his identity, and yet seems resolved in withholding it from his biological children indefinitely. "It's Not About Me.": A donor-conceived individual enounces an observation that her/his social parents, and perhaps intoning broader implications, relied in vain upon donor-conception to solve or absolve their personal issues.

"I Am a Sperm Donor": A sperm donor relates his beliefs and opinions of the policies of the fertility industry, confessing his desire to contact his biological children. "I Regret...": Following a diligent investigation into the identity of her/his biological father, a donor-conceived individual is disappointed in the result of the entire endeavor. "The Good and the Bad": A donor-conceived child contacts her/his biological father and is, for a time, encouraged to believe contact will be lasting; however, this hope is destroyed as complications develop within the relationship.

"The Truth and Miracles": A prospective father defends his perspective that donor-children cannot thoroughly comprehend the struggles undergone by infertile couples. "To Any Parent That Thinks Their Donor Conceived Child Simply Doesn’t Care": A donor-conceived woman deplores her mother's lack of understanding in regards to her biological father, as well as her anguish in being deprived of her biological family..

"Found": After discovering her/his biological mother and witnessing the similarities both externally and internally, a donor-conceived individual grapples with when to make contact, if at all. "We Adopted Instead": An adoptive mother implores others considering donor-conception as an option to instead adopt; why create a child when one already exists in dire need of aid? "My Clan": An elderly man boasts of his many children through sperm-donation and elucidates on his maneuvering around clinic standards of donor age and child quota.

"Confused and Out of Place": A donor-conceived child struggles with a social mother that refuses to aid her in the search for her biological mother. "I Finally Found You": After seven years of searching, a donor-conceived child finally discovers the identity of her/his donor, but soon after the contact is disappointed with the emotionally complex results.

"I Regret...": A mother of an IVF child concedes to regretting a decision she made in the past, that subsequently affected her future children. "To the Parents Who Chose To Use A Donor and Now Fear You Made A Mistake After Reading Some of These Stories": A donor-conceived child counsels parents on the healthiest way to address their children, and to encourage them, regarding their conception and wishes for biological connection.

"To My Donor: It's Not Your Fault": A donor-conceived individual grapples with the newfound understanding that the struggles faced in her or his life can no longer be placed upon the shoulders of her or his absent biological father. "A Weird Kind of Closure": Following a message through Facebook, a donor-conceived child begins to secure a closure of sorts around her or himself. "You Can Choose Your Friends, Not Your____": The mother of an egg-donor conceived child relates her difficulty with her infertility and the callousness with which some fertile parents treat the children they have. "Proud, Loving donor Daddy": A sperm donor elucidates upon his specific process of donation and interaction with the recipient families, and the diversity with which his involvement in his children's lives is treated.

In this episode there are five featured stories, including three donor-conceived perspectives; a former prospective parent who decided the 'savior mentality' of those who advocate the usage of anonymous embryos was not one that she maintained, nor one she supported; and lastly, a clinical psychologist in training elaborates on her empathy for and acknowledgement of the pain of donor-conceived children.

This episode features five stories, three from donor-conceived individuals, one from a parent of two donor-conceived children, and one from a donor. Diversity is prevalent within the perspectives of this episode, and emotions range from regret, to indignation, to sadness, to gratitude.

There are a plentitude of stories in this episode, and, by a listener's request, all pertain exclusively to the varying experiences of children of same-sex unions. Included are testimonies from children of gay and lesbian couples, and all, whether admonishing the carelessness of adults when predetermining a fate other than their own, or gratefully acknowledging the insistent and resilient love shown by homosexual parents, are not often perceived within mainstream society.

Three poems are read, the first portraying a donor-conceived child's discontentment with the anonymity of her or his father. The second illustrates the lack of acceptance within mainstream society of children lacking one parent. And the third poem is written by a parent that joyously celebrates her son's arrival and rethinks the meaning of a poem she once wrote about him.

"Did You Do It For The Money? Or The Concept?": A donor-conceived child questions not only the motives of her/his sperm donor, but also his morality. "Giving the Gift of Life Abroad": A sperm donor narrates his experiences with donating to a couple in Thailand. "Life is Incredible — However It Begins": An egg donor entreats donor-conceived children unhappy with their conception to be positive.

Three stories, the first is of an intended parent that is not convinced of the virtues of telling a donor-conceived child of her or his conception. The second is of an already-parent who has taken offense to the terms individuals use to describe their mothers and fathers. And the third is of a donor-conceived child who laments discovering her or his father due to the conflictions that arise from a difficult situation.

'My Story': On the difficulties of being donor-conceived and being told late. 'Who Am I?': An adopted child reveals the appalling reality of her birthparents. 'Pregnant With a Donor Baby and Feeling Scared': A pregnant mother of a donor-conceived child worries about the potential bias she will hold against the child.

On relationships that were not as they should have been. In the first story, a child writes a donor explaining the meaning of 'father' and 'dad.' The second features a father regretting the donation that lead to the deprivation of his child. And the third is a story of parents who cannot overcome their abusive backgrounds, and negatively impact their children.

On Religion: A Donor-Conceived woman attending a religious institution describes her experiences. Egg Donor Recipients: Two mothers-via-egg-donation speak to donor-conceived people about how to think of their parents.

Three stories. First from a single-mom-by-choice. Second from a woman on the verge of selling her eggs. And lastly from a donor-conceived person.

"Across The Ocean & Back" "I Just Want To Know" "An Almost SMBC" Three stories: One from an egg donor-conceived person. One from a sperm-donor conceived person and raised by her lesbian parents. A third from a woman who nearly went through with sperm donation.

1. I finally found you 2. Still on the Search 3.Puzzling

1. Mom of a Donor Egg Child 2. Not Knowing (Story from Egg-Donor Conceived Person) 3. The Gift of Family 4. Proud, Loving, Donor Daddy

"So Lost" & "I Feel So Alone" 2 stories from donor-conceived females.

This episode is dedicated to parents via donation. I was at a recent event and met a single mom by choice named Lorraine; I'm dedicating this episode to her, because she professed to listening to every episode. Best of luck to you Lorraine. "Access Denied", "Wanted Child", and "Optimism and Confusion"

My Forgotten Half. Meeting My Donor-Conceived Half Brother. Donor. Telling The Truth Without Redefining Words.

"My Story For You..." and "A Letter to My Father". First story is from a woman who was raised not knowing her biological father, by her lesbian mother- who later in life dealt with infertility and the choice of using an egg donor. Our second story is by a donor-conceived transgender ftm, beautifully written, asking her biological father a series of intimate questions.

One story and a poem- both from donor-conceived individuals with contrasting thoughts about their conception and identity.

"We Used a Donor and Surrogate To Have Twins" & "Phoney Bastards and Quasi Marital Kids" This episode deals with what makes a parent and why some people think its okay to sell gametes but not babies, and what is the difference?

"So Wonderful" & "I Love My Daddy" Two stories, one from a donor/surrogate, another from a donor-conceived 22 year old woman.

We Have To Change, It all started out with lies- sperm donor story, Relief from the Problems: Followed by Regret.

Thankful To You, Endocrine Disruptors. We have a twitter @AnonymousUsProj. Also- don't forget to add us in your Google Reader to get story updates.

Lies & Betrayal. It's Not A Perfect World, But It's Mine.

Audio on this episode is BAD. My apologies. My work lap top was stolen and it affected sound quality quite a bit. This will be fixed, please keep listening.

Two stories. One from the perspective of the partner of a sperm donor, the other from a mom. With music from me at the end.