Things That Will Help

In this episode, Buffy explores the quiet power of specificity, and considers how precise, thoughtful feedback can leave a lasting mark. From Mr. Rogers' letter-writing habits to Oprah's fourth grade teacher, Buffy shares stories that illustrate how specificity deepens connection, affirms identity, and answers our deep human desire to be seen.

Buffy opens this week's episode by talking about the part vs. the whole; how, in times of great change, we usually don't get to understand why something is happening to us. Meaning, and wisdom, arrive slowly and often in small moments.This episode is an invitation to make your life smaller. To eliminate what's not necessary, reject what doesn't truly feed and nourish you, so that what is beautiful in your life can be amplified.Buffy tells stories of farm walks, picnic table run-ins, and more, and invites listeners into spaciousness and trust - even, and especially if, things are feeling messy.

In this episode, Buffy explores the difference between a goal-oriented, legacy mindset vs. navigating your life like a laboratory. What if your life isn't something to perfect, but something to experiment with? What if it's not about leaving a mark, but about listening for what's next? This episode is an invitation to stay tuned.

In part two of this special conversation, Buffy and Tina continue their discussion on love, loss, and Brody's lasting impact. Tina shares how writing became a lifeline throughout Brody's illness and grief, offering a glimpse into the book that is emerging from her journey. They also explore the breath, mindfulness, and meditation practices that carried their family through the hardest moments—and how those same practices continue to support them today.CW: Grief, Child Loss, CancerLearn more about the Brody Huber Foundation here.

Three years ago, Buffy's dear friend Tina Porter faced the unimaginable—losing her son, Brody, to an aggressive brain tumor. In this special episode, Buffy and Tina come together for a heartfelt closet session to reflect on love, loss, and the lasting impact of Brody's life. They discuss the beauty of his legacy and the practices that carried Tina and her family through both his passing and the grief that followed. This intimate conversation is a tribute to resilience, remembrance, and the ways we hold on to those we love. This is part one of a two-part conversation.CW: Grief, Child Loss, CancerLearn more about the Brody Huber Foundation here.

In this episode, Buffy explores the juxtaposition between belonging and dissonance. She talks about the way communities can lighten the load and encourage bravery and belonging - as well as the pitfalls of what happens when we only surround ourselves with what feels familiar. Buffy challenges us to get curious about what is not like us through stories of post-car crashes, sheer tops, and unexpected moments of friction. Growth often comes from being around people who don't think like us. How do we strike the balance between enough similarity to feel at home, and enough difference to stretch and challenge us?

How does deep listening shape the way we experience life? How does it help us notice what we might otherwise overlook? Buffy reflects on the shift from doing into being, and how fulfillment can meet us when we let ourselves be present with our process. She talks about the connection between listening and play, and how joy and creativity can deepen our relationship to our inner life. Buffy leaves listeners with the question: what legacy do do want to leave? How do you become, not just through what you do, but through the way you listen, move, and exist in the world?

In this episode, Buffy shares the things she's choosing to cut from her life, and what she's making room for instead. This conversation is an invitation for you to reflect: What could you cut? What could you create? How can you shape your life to support your vitality and amplify your state of presence? Tune in for an honest exploration of subtraction, intention, and the space we make for what truly matters.

This episode is a hodgepodge of beauty and hope. In this historically monumental time, Buffy highlights importance of taking deep care and paying attention to what is good and beautiful. Your attention is a precious and finite resource. This episode is a reminder of the importance of using that resource well, and with skill, by focusing on magic and synchronicity alongside the pain and the suffering.

Where are you putting your creative energy and life force? What projects do you have in the works that need support, or that want to be moved forward? Buffy tells stories of auspicious bird-of-prey sightings, friendship, and drop-down menus to help you orient to where you are - right now, today, and this year - in order to bring your art, and your heart, into being.

This week's episode is about the signs, sparks, and detours that sometimes subtly, sometimes suddenly, change the course of your life. Buffy tells stories of worry stones, guidance, and synchronicities, and encourages us to follow the cosmic bread crumbs that are divinely placed for us to follow. It takes a combination of courage and quiet to actually experience and receive these sparks - are you paying attention? 

This episode explores the ever-unfolding process of becoming. What are our interests, passions, and focus, and how do they transform over the course of our lives? How do we transform? Buffy invites listeners to explore how their dreams and interests have changed over time, encouraging a compassionate approach to letting go of outdated aspirations. She shares practical and inspiring ways to recycle or reimagine those dreams, shaping them into something fresh, vibrant, and aligned with our current selves. This episode is a gentle reminder that change is not only inevitable but can also be deeply creative and fulfilling. 

This week's episode is a practical plan to support in your anxiety. There are different practices to help you access your body, soothe your mind, and tend to your heart. Bookmark this episode as a friend to come back to when you need tangible and practical ways to support your inner world.You can find the full written list here.

This episode is dedicated to the process of growth and the ways that affects who walks alongside us in our own journeys. We are ever-evolving beings, and if you are listening to this podcast, it is likely you consider the nature of your personal transformation throughout your life. What happens when you become unrecognizable to others through life circumstances, purposeful change, or both? Buffy talks about what happens when "top is taken off;" When we shed a layer of the old us and find a more authentic, expressed center. Who are we? What do we do? Who do we choose to do it with? Tune in for more.

In foundation-shaking times, where do we turn? Buffy speaks to the moment of reckoning and unrest with the important reminder to do the work of living, and to live with as much presence as possible. She turns listeners towards the lighthouses that are readily available to us at this time, and how to keep our eyes on the horizon and on each other.

The process of writing a letter, in an authentic way, changes you. It marks something, and it is exchange of energy, whether it is delivered to the person it was meant for, or not. Buffy offers the wisdom letters can hold when we write them to our past selves, our future selves, to people who help us, and others who hurt us. Writing letters and receiving letters alchemizes us, and in this episode Buffy shares about how letters of all kinds can help.

It is easy for challenging moments in our lives to capture our attention and energy; it is perhaps much more difficult to pay attention to what's beautiful, true, and brings us joy. In this episode, Buffy encourages more presence and attention to what we enjoy - not to bypass the pain, but to build our reserves in order to face what's challenging in our lives with more fortitude, ease, and contentment.

What is mine now? What is mine for later? What is not mine at all? Buffy offers definitions for these piles that offer clarity, save time, and protect emotional energy.

As a treat for listeners this week, Buffy brings on her husband Matt to deliver a speech he recently gave to a group of thousands about fear, bravery, perfection, and the ways they are all braided together. Matt tells stories of his first time performing music, a missed shot, and the phone call that started it all. What would your reality look like if you released yourself from the illusion of perfection, and trusted in your inherent value, exactly as you are now?

You are probably managing an impossible soup of lightning-quick news cycles, a daily-changing world, a complex inner life, all while remembering the tasks that make your life run.  Are you feeling disconnected or overwhelmed in it? In this episode, Buffy talks to listeners about how slowing down can support the endeavor to regulate our nervous systems, bolster hope, and prioritize connection.

This episode begins with a goat named Clover and woodland fairy role-play. You know the phrase, "it takes a village?" Buffy helps listeners deepen their understanding and opportunity around this idea; that we might look for and cultivate the "field agents" in our life that support our families, our goals, and our personal unfolding.

In this special episode, Alex gives Buffy an astrological natal chart reading. They have wanted to do this for so long, and recently, finally acquired Buffy's birth information! They talk about the intricacies and complexities of Buffy's life and being, and about her hard-won identity as a communicator, writer, and orator. Buffy shares stories from her childhood and adult life as they untangle her unique astrological footprint.If you'd like to book a birth chart reading with Alex, click here.

Buffy celebrates her brother Benjamin, who died twenty years ago this week. Benjamin was the catalyst and inspiration for this podcast, which is named after the small book of notes Buffy and her mom found on his bedside table. In this episode Buffy honors the lessons of not only his death but his life.

Your energy and your time are some of the most valuable resources you have, and in this episode Buffy speaks to the ways energy currency relates to introversion vs. extroversion. How we can be more awake to the ways we nurture our reserves of energy currency?  If each day were a love letter to yourself, how would you construct that day to feel the best and the healthiest in terms of energy currency?

Buffy reflects on four years of Things That Will Help and names the power of standing still, looking back, and marking moments in time as a way to measure our transformation. She shares stories of witnessing and being witnessed as ways to invite in wonder, peace, and trust.  Marking time, and naming it, is an incredible way to feel the impact of this moment in your life and how you got here, before you move on to what's next.

Buffy starts the episode with discussing the Bystander Effect, which says that the greater number of bystanders that are witness to an emergency situation or bully, the less likely it is for any one of them to provide help for the person in distress. She uses this as a jumping off point as a call for us to take radical responsibility for our lives, even when it is inconvenient; even when it is difficult; even when it is easier to shirk it.  Wanting it is not always enough - so what can we do to bridge the gap between wanting it and having it? Tune in to find out.

Buffy and Alex are back to talk about April 8's total solar eclipse - this is a powerful time for healing, transformation, and reflection on the ways we want to show up in the world. They discuss practical ways to work with the volatile energy of this current astrological weather, including potentially pausing major decisions, processes that can help us feel renewed, and ways to feel clearer than ever in our personal offerings in the world.You can book as astrological reading with Alex here.

Happy Eclipse Season! Buffy welcomes TTWH editor and producer Alex Ammons - who also moonlights as a professional astrologer. Alex and Buffy talks about the two-week period of the eclipse season - which, on this episode air date, we are in the thick of. Eclipses are major moments in the collective and individually, and knowing how to best prepare for them can help us navigate the potential tumult with grace and compassion (both for ourselves and others).You can book as astrological reading with Alex here.

This episode is dedicated to the power you contain and the practices that help cultivate your ability to stand more vertical, with less. What if the answers you seek don't lie in trendy workout equipment and the never-ending cycle of "self-help"? We go in to find out.

Today's episode explores how we can cultivate joy, health, and happiness without turning our faces away from the pain of the world, which sometimes asks for our attention and other times demands it. Buffy recorded this at a time where a non-binary student was murdered in a bathroom, and where war ravages across the Middle East and beyond. These are times that, as Buffy teacher says, are "relentless and exhausting," as she calls us to take better care of ourselves now, more than ever. When we strengthen a cell in the body, we strengthen the body.

How do you make decisions? Swiftly and suddenly? Do you let ideas marinate before you move forward? Buffy's story about Tricia's buggy (southern for "shopping cart") illustrates the wisdom of our desires, and how sometimes pausing can give us the space to  hear them truly and clearly.Can we begin to normalize the practice of checking in with ourselves before we make decisions; pausing, breathing, and seeing what changes? Buffy talks about this, and more, in this week's episode. 

Today's episode is a continuation of Episode 126, Ganesh Will Help. Buffy completes the birth story and shares more about the lessons we can learn from this buoyant deity. Ganesh's rich lessons include how to gracefully be in the middle of something, authenticity and intimacy, and how we can ask deeper and better questions about and of ourselves.

How can we help ourselves feel safe instead of bracing for impact?We get curious.Just like we might be if we found ourselves in a new town. Entering a new place - physically, mentally, or emotionally - with a spirit of wonder and curiosity can create a completely different experience than defaulting to old patterns of fear, pain, and anxiety. Buffy talks about her ankle replacement recovery to elaborate on this gorgeous metaphor and walks listeners through practical ways to build new patterns, pathways, and discoveries for ourselves.

Buffy tells stories of the Hindu deity Ganesha, or Ganapati.  Mythology can be used as a tool to help us see ourselves more clearly, no matter our religion, prayer, or conversation we are having with the divine. This is a human conversation and an invitation into a deeper experience of yourself through the keeper of the threshold, Ganesh, and the wisdom he offers us.

Calling all worriers! What if you could see how you spend your time in a visual form, like a pie chart? How big of a pie slice would be spent worrying, ruminating, or projecting into the future? Buffy opens this episode with this pie chart image and takes listeners immediately stories that illuminate how getting to the root - the truth - of a story can reduce our time spent fretting. She ties up the episode with practical tips on how to either a) get to the root and b) move energy if the root feels inaccessible for the moment.Alex's websites are For The Love Media (website design) and The Door Beyond (for end of life hands-on care and support).

Autumn is a treasured time of year at TTWH, and in this episode Buffy gives some practical tips that will help you breathe life and intention the autumnal transition. Tune in for inspiration around food, practices, and even ways to adorn yourself that help the transition into colder months feel full of purpose.You can visit www.ayurveda.com for a dosha quiz, Ayurvedic recipes, and more.Betsy Cochran is our Patron of the Month and can be reached at bbcochran@comcast.net. Thank you, Betsy!

All life, all ears, all heart, all love.This episode is dedicated to Andrew Clark, a dear friend of Buffy's who died last week. Buffy honors his life by collecting and transmitting some of the deepest lessons and wisdoms Andrew imparted over the course of his life and their friendship. May his memory be a blessing.

Can "maybe" be a gift, rather than a liability? This is an episode about relinquishing control and deepening trust in the face of endless maybes. It begins with a special guest reading a family favorite book and asks you to consider what ways you could make the "maybe's" sweeter, easier, and more full of trust."Maybe, just maybe, the world has been waiting for someone exactly like you. One thing is for sure: you are here, and because you are here, anything is possible."Katie Dooley is our patron of the month, and the resources they mentioned are here:Mountain Queers Instagram, and scholarship donations accepted here.Atabey Outdoors is a non-profit organization offering outdoor adventures and mentorship for BIPOC girls and non-binary kids 8-12 y.o. in Phoenix, AZ! Sabrina Hardy is a Filipina-American transformational coach that specializes in helping individuals develop the awareness, knowledge, and skills to lead and thrive in today's world. She offers individual and small group coaching, and DEI consulting.

CW: Violence, LGBTQ hate crimes.Buffy opens the episode with the story of Matthew Shepard - a young gay man who was brutally murdered  - and about the gentle, magical animal presence at the scene of the crime. This is an episode about being a spacious, compassionate presence for the ones we love. Our kind attention - without judgement, advice, or solution-oriented actions - can be the most precious healing balm. Buffy tells stories of a cat named Prissy, a hospice vigil, and an 7-year-old's feet."We are, each of us, able to move energy and hold powerful, sacred space just by being as still as an oak tree." Visit the Matthew Shepard Foundation here. Visit Tina Porter's website here, and The Brody Huber Foundation here.

Buffy starts with a story about a hilarious toddler misunderstanding and moves towards the topic of visualization. What is it? How can we do it, and how can it move our lives in the direction we believe is true and beautiful?Visualization can help us become more conscious of the waters we're swimming in, and call in more of what we desire towards us. Listen for practical ways to integrate visualization into your life, and of course, The Fucking Chicken.Learn more about Kelly Puig here.

There are moments in our lives where we to be reconnected to the big picture, and there are moments where we need to look at our feet in order to take the next right step. How do we discern which tools we need?Buffy uses the metaphors of "the mountain" and "the magnifying glass" as different medicines that are available to us when we are feeling lost. She tells stories of kittens, stage four cancer, and how the braiding of these two vantage points delivers potent lessons and direction.Visit Natalia's Instagram here and her website here.

"What distinguishes rage that is harmful versus rage that is sacred?" Buffy moves listeners into this inquiry and will have listeners considering - or perhaps reconsidering- their relationship with rage as a transformative, powerful entity.

Buffy talks listeners through feeling "fragmented," from the tiny ways we feel misaligned to the big broken open moments. And wholeness - the opposite of fragmentation - it's possible. Buffy offers ways to bring ourselves back to wholeness and connection through stories of bandaids, physical pain, and how the method of "stop and drop" will help.

Buffy responds to a listener's question about friendship: when to repair, when to leave, and how to build your own discernment and nuance for the in-between.

Buffy records on the solstice in an episode that speaks to the importance of discernment in the ways we help ourselves in the name of healing, peace, and harmony.  Buffy gets to the heart of "What works for some may not work for others" Listeners receive our favorite 7-year-old wisdom's and a deeper understanding of why having our own personal measuring stick for success and happiness can invite more wonderment and magic into our lives.Learn more about Courtney Cooke here.

Buffy shares about an ongoing ankle injury and the complicated stories around it, including shame, pain, and neglect. She offers ways to break through the codified stories that we hold in our minds and our bodies. She explores the question, "what is possible for my life if I simply set down old stories?" and invites listeners into a softness with the present moment. Amie Belanger is the patron of the month and a Reiki Master Practitioner.

This episode starts with yellow cake from a box and winds through sourdough bread, marriage and death, in service to the beauty of being able to hold and welcome it all. What happens when we can let ourselves be soaked with the fullness of the fragility and the wonder of life? Otis' wise words captures it perfectly: "It's gonna be emotional, and that's OK."Learn more about Rennie Harris here.Learn more about Lisa Foote here.Learn more about Keri Bergeron here.

In this episode, Buffy provides practical and grounded ways to encourage deep restoration in your life. The tools range from the physical to the mental to the emotional, and each supports more rest. She runs through her suggestions in a list format, and it might be supportive for you to have a pen and paper handy while you listen!TTWH is taking a May break and we'll be back with new episodes on May 29.

What does it mean to create beauty in the world? Buffy talks about how often, placing our attention directly in front of us - and being in service - can be some of the most beautiful and important work we can do. Today's episode starts with a story about a man moving rocks from the road to create more safety for other drivers, and initiates a conversation of what making a difference in the world can look like on a local and immediate level.

This episode is about internal knowing; what happens when it is lacking, and how to more powerfully and purposefully cultivate it. Buffy talks about the liminal space of being in a process (rather than arrived at a destination), and how a balance of structure & freedom can support us in being in listening to the whispers that move us forward.

Buffy's daughter Coretta uses the term "Last Day" to refer to any day other than today; a day yesterday, last month, last year. This episode is an homage to Buffy's version of Last Day - what Buffy would do on her own final day of life - and includes considerations of mortality. This episode will have you considering what's really important to you, and what you might prioritize on your own last day.