Transforming Relationships by gudlife

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What if you could hang out with a couples counselor and a communication expert, ask them about relationship needs, love, sex, romance, conflict, intimacy, passion, and more; then take an insight or two to rebuild and reshape your own relationships? That’s

Don Olund and Amanda Berlin


    • Aug 18, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 30m AVG DURATION
    • 19 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Transforming Relationships by gudlife

    018: The #1 Up and Down Struggle All Couples Experience

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2022 21:55


    Whenever two or more people are interacting, there's a power flow between them – we just don't know what's happening.  While water is to fish, power is to people. It is the medium we swim in. But it's usually invisible to us. We don't really see it when someone powers up on you or you're made to feel small when someone's talking. Whether it's in a parent-child relationship, in a work environment, or even between friends, there is a power flow that exists between two people. What's important is how we manage the flow of power between us – because sometimes, the flow of power gets messed up in the way we communicate. When you have respectful power flowing from one person to another, it brings influence. But when there is disrespectful power, it exerts control. When you are in a controlling kind of relationship, then you're not able to sustain a sense of closeness and safety between people. It's all about mutual submission – and mutual love. Today, we are talking about power struggles, the #1 up and down struggle that all couples experience. We may not even be aware that we are in a power struggle because they are so ubiquitous in every negotiation we take on in our relationships.  In this episode, you will hear: What is power? 3 ways to balance the power flow Useful scripts to help bring balance to the power flow in your relationship The 7 benefits of balancing power in your relationship Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/  Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    017: Can Couples Come Back After Years of Unhappiness?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 19:45


    In many relationships, there seems to be that inflection point where you decide to go forward together, or you decide to go forward separately. But can you come back from years of unhappiness?  Especially, when couples are getting to the empty nester stage, they are asking the question of whether they can come back from this long phase of unhappiness that they've had together. It's complex because there are a lot of things – kids, future grandkids, the house, money, friends, family members – that hold them together.  But those things are not enough to generate happiness. They have to be able to find that together, and the only way that's going to happen is through something called the mutuality factor. In other words, there has to be a mutual interest in trying to make it work. One person cannot do the work of two to make a marriage happy. It requires both.  In this episode, we will walk you through the five ways to cure years of unhappiness and effect change that you might want to see in your relationship.  In this episode, you will hear: Shared humility and forgiveness Dismantling of walls Moving from disrespect to respect Persistent effort on the part of the couple Investment in good times together A quick script for getting back on the right track Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/  Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    016: How to Work Through Major Problems

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2022 32:05


    Most of us are fairly good at working through minor problems, which are common in every relationship. But when we have those major conflicts, we often don't have the right kind of tools to communicate our way through them.  What a lot of couples end up doing is stockpiling their problems instead of resolving them. And so, when future conflicts arise, what comes out are reruns from those stockpiled problems. If couples are not good at being able to resolve these things, then they just have more arguments stockpiled. They don't know how to work through things and start to avoid certain topics. This leads to resentment and some emotional drifting.  Sometimes, too, people make major problems out of minor problems, and there are others who have major problems and they're minimizing them. So things could get pretty complicated.  In this episode, we discuss how you can work through these major problems. We particularly illustrate a sample scenario and some language you could use in the event you find yourself in similar situations. In this episode, you will hear: Focusing on the problem, not the person Keeping your emotions in check Using the "I" terminology to express your thoughts and feelings Giving mutual consideration to each other's input Validation is the most powerful element of communication. Collaborating to find a mutually satisfying resolution Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/  Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    015: After the Affair: Can We Recover?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2022 35:30


    What if you found out that your partner was having an affair? Can you still rebuild the marriage? How do you navigate getting through or getting past an affair? There are some people that just cannot recover from that level of betrayal. It's just too much for them that they feel it's best to dissolve the relationship and move on from it. There are also couples who, while they may want to end the relationship, have many constraining factors that keep them in, whether it be their kids or a house and so many other factors.  If you find yourself in this position and you're confused about staying or moving on, just know that there is hope – and there is help available. About 70% of couples who go through some form of affair or infidelity are able to recover and they stay married. And about 50% of those couples who did the work ended up having a healthier relationship than they did before the affair occurred.  In this episode, you will hear: The impact of an affair on the marriage The tendency to act quickly to minimize the damage The impact of the affair on the injured partner The impact of the affair on the involved partner The 3-step recovery process A quick script for the involved spouse Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/  Episode 014: Five Things to Consider Before You Enter an Affair https://www.donolund.com/trg014 Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    014: Five Things to Consider Before You Enter an Affair

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2022 30:51


    There are a lot of variables that contribute to why people enter an affair, and one of the most common reasons is that couples are not investing in the marriage. However, if you're at this point of your life where you feel miserable in your marriage, or for whatever reason, you no longer think your marriage is working, having an affair should at least be the last thing in your mind, or perhaps, never at all.  When the marriage gets neglected, couples can usually handle neglect for a short period of time. But when that neglect shifts into an emotional drift, the couple could experience some dissatisfaction on an emotional level, and on a romantic/sexual level. They're not spending time together and they're not going out on dates. They're not making love because they're too exhausted by the end of the day. Because they're busy talking about what's going on and what needs to be done, they get into more conflicts.  Then they start to pull away from each other and get into an emotional drift. And because they want to feel the connection they once had, they are at risk of finding that outside the marriage. In this episode, we discuss the five things to consider before you even think of having an affair. Finally, we're offering a quick script for self-talk related to this topic.    In this episode, you will hear: Why the adventure is not worth the risk How the adventure turns into anxiety Living in two dimensions and managing two sets of expectations Compromising your core values A safer approach to confront the problems in your marriage Factors that contribute to an affair Putting an end to the relationship Two questions to ask yourself before you consider entering an affair   Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/  Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    013: How to Make Letting Go Easier on Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2022 32:17


    Letting go – whether of a loved one you've lost or of your resentment towards someone – is an act of self-care. When you hold on to the hurt or resentment, it's actually harming you more than it's harming the other person. The process of letting go is just that – it's a process. It's a practice that you have to come back to over and over again. Sometimes when we're holding on, all we can feel is our own pain and hurt. And we really have a hard time looking at the other person from a different lens.  The longer you have resentment and bitterness, you're giving the other person some poison. But you end up drinking it, instead of them drinking it. When you get to a place of letting go, you can start looking at the person with less sense of anger and bitterness and see them in a more positive light.  Letting go is a normal process every human being will have to encounter in the course of life. Today, we're sharing some suggestions or recommendations to help you begin the process of letting go.    In this episode, you will hear: What makes letting go difficult for many people How holding on is getting in the way of your life Deciding it's time to let go How to begin the process of letting go A quick script to talk yourself through the process of letting go How letting go can coincide with holding on Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/    Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    012: Five Things You Should Never Have to Give Up for Your Partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2022 35:27


    Are you feeling the need to change something about your spouse or partner? Or perhaps it's the other way around where you feel the pressure from your partner to change something that has always been a part of you? When couples come together in a wholesome way where they balance their independence with interdependence, they're going to have a solid relationship. As the relationship starts to form, you may start to see subtle signs where this person starts to show displeasure, unhappiness, or discomfort. They start to make requests or complaints and the other person starts to feel a sense of pressure to change.  One of the common perceptions about relationships is that you should both meld as this one unit, being part of a "we" now. But that shouldn't be the case. In this episode, we outline the five things that you should never have to give up for your partner. What does it take to create a successful relationship while acknowledging there are things on which you need to stand your ground? We're also sharing some quick scripts that are assertive and straightforward yet calm and respectful, which are very important for your partner to hear and digest.    In this episode, you will hear: Never giving up your personal boundaries How self-respect is your monitor for boundaries Never giving up your personal interests Never giving up your personality The concept of projection Never giving up your close relationships Never giving up your personal values   Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/    Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    011: How to GO CALM Before Things Get Out of Control

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 32:28


    Whether you're in a romantic relationship or any personal relationship, there are definitely things that can trigger you that cause you to become reactive. Therefore, it's important to be able to dial down your emotions before they make you say or do things you will regret later.  The next time you find yourself on the verge of another conflict, here is a powerful tool that you can use to avoid stepping on a landmine that explodes into a blowout situation. GO CALM is an acronym and tool you can use in the midst of a conflict to help you ground yourself and avoid making a bad situation worse. This is not about ignoring your emotions or trying to push them down. Instead, this is a process that you can engage to help you channel them effectively. Remember, all it needs is just one person to go calm to create an atmosphere for both people to go calm. When one person is going calm, very likely, the other person will join them in that space, and this is backed by science and studies.  By taking control of yourself in the middle of that conflict, you're going to have a much better way of controlling your reactions and responses. And so you're not in that reactive mode, and instead, you become more responsive to what's going on. And GO CALM works to get you in that space.   In this episode, you will hear: Understanding the triggers you carry and where they come from Gauge what is going on. Observe what your body is saying. Concentrate on your breathing. Ask the other person to calm down. Listen first.  Measure your words carefully. How it only takes one person to go calm.   Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/    Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    010: Be the Good Kind of Interrupter: How to Use a Time Out Before Emotions Overheat

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2022 38:54


    Time out in relationships? Of course, it can be done! But you have to learn how to do it effectively to make sure any conflict eventually arrives at a resolution and it doesn't end up in a stockpile.  When we find ourselves in a conflict, we often forget the importance of embracing the pause. And it just might be the best thing you can do at that moment. Pushing forward in your effort to just move out of an argument as quickly as possible is not always the solution. You can't think clearly in those moments and emotions are amped up. At some point, an argument warrants a pause. In today's episode, Don teaches us how to employ the tactic of a timeout before emotions start to overheat. This is an effective tool you want to learn to be an effective communicator in your relationships, especially when you find yourself stuck in a conflict or when things go south. We're specifically going to walk you through the five rules for how to effectively call a timeout and as always, we're sharing a quick script around enacting a timeout. Find out how to be the kind of interrupter where you're able to avoid blowout fights and employ an adult timeout effectively, without having to withdraw.    In this episode, you will hear: The concept of the stress cycle When to know you need a timeout Withdrawal vs. timeout The purpose of a timeout Five rules for how to effectively call a timeout A quick script around implementing a timeout   Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/  Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle https://www.amazon.com/Burnout-Secret-Unlocking-Stress-Cycle/dp/198481706X    Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    009: 6 Things You're Saying to Your Partner That Make Matters Worse

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 33:36


    Have you ever found yourself regretting how you showed up in an interaction? Or maybe you walked away thinking you could have handled it better? In today's episode, learn how to take language and use it for good as opposed to using it for ill in our relationships. Specifically, we discuss these six phrases that can undermine human connection and productive conversations. Becoming aware of those things allows for respectful, effective communication to happen amid conflict. Then we're sharing some quick scripts that you can use to replace each of those phrases so you're better prepared the next time you jump into any conflict. Remember, it's all about power – and power is the right to your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own voice, and your own choice. By being more mindful of how we choose our words to make sure we don't misuse and abuse our power, our partner will then feel heard and understood.    In this episode, you will hear: The misuse and abuse of power Phrases you need to avoid saying Avoiding “you” statements Avoiding contemptuous and extreme statements Being curious instead of judgmental Things to never say in certain conversations   Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/    Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    008: Tired of Wasting Time Arguing? Part 3: How to Repair After the Argument

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2022 30:04


    This episode is the last of the three-part series where we specifically talk about how we begin to repair after the argument. In the last two episodes, we have outlined the cycle of conflict where you can interrupt that cycle, break through it, and find a way to disrupt the cycle so you don't continue repeating that pattern.  Maybe the couple got into a conflict and they got into mutual repair. They left back on the rails, learned some things, and tried to integrate some changes around the dynamics they were dealing with in their marriage that caused the conflict.  Now, when we get to this part of the repair cycle, the key is to handle it well. There are conflicts that are easy to repair. And when a deeper offense occurred, you want to be a little more specific in how you handle the repair and don't simply say you're sorry. At the end of the day, it's all about personal responsibility and mutual responsibility. Remember, this is not an overnight thing. It's unrealistic to expect yourself to come out of the gate with an entirely new way of being with your partner and in a totally perfect "by the book" way. And so, even just the act of bringing awareness to your conflict pattern is a great first step and those little incremental improvements you can make in your interactions with your partner are going to make a world of difference. Whatever incremental positive change you make in your dynamic is your goal and that will begin to breed change in your whole dynamic.    In this episode, you will hear: The five declarations for an effective repair Admission and taking personal responsibility Accepting responsibility without putting on blame Getting your but's out of the way The difference between saying sorry and asking for forgiveness Agreeing to work on changing your behavior A quick script on how to deliver a thoughtful, heartfelt, effective repair Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/    Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    007: Tired of Wasting Time Arguing? Part 2: Breaking the Cycle of Conflict

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2022 27:20


    This is Part 2 of a three-part series on how to resolve conflicts peacefully. If you are tired of wasting time arguing, then this episode is for you!    If you are stuck in that fighting rut, if you feel like you are freezing each other out, or even if it doesn't feel like you're actively fighting, this is all part of your conflict cycle. In the previous episode, we've illustrated how to recognize a conflict pattern. Now, a lot of that has to do with awareness, which is the first step in creating change.   In this episode, we specifically break down the ways to break out of the conflict cycle. Now that you have a better understanding of the conflict pattern, it's critical to know at which point of the cycle is the perfect time for you to disrupt it. Once you've found that perfect gateway, then you're able to shift that energy from fighting all the way up to the mending part.   In this episode, you will hear: A review of the conflict cycle A sample scenario of a couple going through a conflict cycle Shifting from “we react” mode to “we respond” mode Why you need to infuse respect Teeing things up for the "we repair" part How “the timeout” works when things escalate The power of mutual ownership Moving from “we repair” to “we mend” A quick script to pivot from “acting out” mode to “we respond” mode Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: https://gudlife.com/  Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    006: Tired of Arguing all the Time? Here's How to Resolve Conflict Peacefully, Part 1: Identifying Your Conflict Cycle

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2022 29:41


    Are you tired of wasting time arguing? Then this episode is for you! This is the beginning of a three-part series on how to resolve conflicts peacefully.    Recognize that this may be a cycle or a pattern of behavior, which is actually the first step to altering the pattern and then ultimately repairing it.    You may not recognize that you're in a conflict pattern. Maybe you're saying things to yourself like "this isn't what I signed up for" or "aren't we better than this?" The beauty of these conversations is the realization that you actually can change the way your relationships are going if they're going in a direction you're not happy with.    If you see yourself in this pattern, just remember that this is the first step because awareness is a powerful tool to enact change. You need to be aware that you're in this cycle before you can actually disrupt it and change it.   Then in the next two episodes, you will learn how to break this conflict and save your relationship. You'll reduce the frequency, intensity, and duration of your conflict, and you'll also expect an increase in connection, friendship, partnership, and intimacy because you won't be stuck in those Cold Wars for as long as they used to be.    Finally, we're giving you four scripts of what to do in a conflict situation.    In this episode, you will hear: What happens in the typical conflict cycle How reactions draw us more deeply into the conflict How to identify you're not in a good place What the Cold War is like The two commodities we're losing out on The importance of mutuality Four scripts of what to do in a conflict situation Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    005: How to Connect with Each Other When You're Busy Taking Care of Everyone Else

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2022 33:46


    One of the reasons behind conflicts among couples is the disconnect that falls on their relationship. There's a dominant dynamic relationship pattern where most of the interaction is now centered around their responsibilities. They're busy trying to get kids off to school, do the laundry, clean the house, and do so many other things they need to take care of.    In other words, couples interact more over the tasks of married life and family life, and they spend much less time just being a couple. They have forgotten to connect and talk about nothing else other than each other.   And so, it becomes difficult for couples to manage this and turn toward each other when it feels like there's too much to carry. The problem is they don't know how to shift their attention from other people into connecting with each other.    In this conversation, we discuss the five symptoms of this kind of relationship, what's not working, and how you can start making some changes in your relationship as a couple so instead of connecting outwardly, you begin prioritizing your connection with your partner.    Our quick script for today then is on how to strengthen your connection with your partner and shift your attention from “others” to “us” in your relationship.   In this episode, you will hear: The five symptoms of the problem Bad habits around connecting outwardly and not prioritizing our connection with our partner Ways to shift out of a task-oriented mindset into a relationship mindset The five don'ts when tuning into your partner A quick script on connecting with your partner and shifting your focus onto each other Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    004: How the Pandemic Transformed Relationships, Part 3: How to Work Around Pandemic Challenges to Professional Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2022 39:52


    If you're a business owner or you worked in an office with people before the pandemic, you've definitely seen and even experienced how the pandemic has not only challenged personal relationships, but also how that has bled into the workplace. In Q4 of 2021, there has been a 184% increase of PTSD expressed amongst workers compared to pre-COVID.    The pandemic has definitely put a lot of stress on human connection. We've also been called upon to look at work differently. From the work from home revolution to the great resignation, more and more people seem to be looking for more meaning and more connection. And so, we see a louder clamor for a quality of life and meaning in our work.   In this episode, we're talking about how the pandemic has impacted professional relationships and how we can work around those challenges. We will also be giving you a quick script to help you support a co-worker who may be struggling with a mental health concern.   In this episode, you will hear: How COVID impacted mental health in the work environment How people have become isolated Managing expectations Addressing the elephant in the office Ways to work around the challenges to professional relationships A quick script to help support a co-worker struggling with a mental health concern Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    003: How the Pandemic Transformed Relationships, Part 2: How to Correct Damage Done to Your Familial Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2022 33:40


    COVID has perhaps been the most influential, transformative factor in relationships over the last several years. The pandemic, in and of itself, is terrifying, being locked in our homes and seeing streets left like ghost towns. Then there's an added layer of fear around not being able to work, not being able to put food on the table and not being able to pay our expenses or pay rent, and the consequences are perhaps even more terrifying.    Indeed, this has been an extremely challenging time for families. Mothers, in particular, have frustrations that have driven them deep into despair around parenting to the point they're questioning whether or not motherhood was even for them. And all that has put a lot of stress not just on ourselves, but on our kids as well, who had to adjust from a classroom setting to looking at a computer screen. Not to mention, the opposing views that have caused rifts among family members. And so, how do we correct the damage done to our familial relationships?   This is Part 2 of our discussion on what COVID has done to relationships over the last two years. In particular, we talk about three main ways COVID has challenged and transformed our familial relationships, and what we can do for these things to work out.    Finally, today's script will help you forge some agreement with people who may have opposing views to help give you a common ground.   In this episode, you will hear: The economic and educational fallout The concept of the second arrow The impact on mental health The fragmentation of relationships within families Things that are not working in families and how to make them work A quick script on defusing tension around COVID Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. If you really enjoyed this episode, we've created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.gudlife.com to download it. Supporting Resources: Episode 002: How the Pandemic Transformed Relationships, Part 1: How to Correct Damage Done to Your Intimate Relationships For more tools, training, guidance, and quick scripts for navigating the most complicated aspects of your relationship and in any area of your life, visit www.gudlife.com. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    002: How the Pandemic Transformed Relationships, Part 1: How to Correct Damage Done to Your Intimate Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2022 34:55


    What we've all been through in the last two years during the COVID-19 pandemic has been a transformative time for couples. What's unique about stressful times is they can either bring out the best in us or challenge us to the point that would change our lives and relationships forever.    How should couples communicate to ensure they manage expectations and meet each other's needs? How can they work together and adapt under pressure to complex and evolving circumstances? How do they get their needs expressed and make sure they hear each other and respond positively?    In this episode, we embark on this three-part series of how the pandemic transformed relationships. We first discuss the three main ways COVID has challenged and transformed our intimate relationships, some things that aren't working in couples right now, and the things you can do in your relationship to make it work. Then we move into an episode about the impact on family dynamics, and another episode where we reach into the dynamics of all those other relationships that have also been impacted by the pandemic.   Finally, we're sharing with you a quick script, which will be an ongoing feature here on the podcast. Today, this script will help you move from feeling unsupported to feeling like you're getting the support that you need.   In this episode, you will hear: The 3 ways COVID challenged and transformed our intimate relationships Managing competing expectations What is the pressure-rejection dynamic? 3 things that are not working among couples right now and how to make those work A quick script on asking for mutual support The best time to have these conversations Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: For more tools, training, guidance, and quick scripts for navigating the most complicated aspects of your relationship and in any area of your life, visit www.gudlife.com. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    001: Get to Know Your Hosts and The Why Behind This Podcast

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2022 25:30


    Welcome to the first episode of Transforming Relationships by gudlife hosted by Don Olund and Amanda Berlin! Every week, we share something that will inspire, instruct, and motivate you to do something about your current life situation and relationship to keep you from becoming stuck because being stuck sucks – and transformation is possible.    There is no perfect relationship because we all are flawed people – and to be able to live together, respect each other, accept our differences, laugh at our imperfections, and do life together is just powerful. It's not always easy to achieve, but it is something we can all aspire to.    About the Hosts   Amanda Berlin is a marketing consultant and business coach for small business owners who know they are good at what they do, but not enough people know about them. Amanda worked for 12 years in the New York City Public Relations world before starting her own business in 2012. She helps small business owners use the tried and true visibility tactics big firms use to get their names out there.    Don Olund is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and the owner of LifeWork Counseling, a Chicago-based private practice. With expertise in marriage and family counseling, Don works with a team of counselors in covering a wide range of mental health needs. Don is the founder of Gudlife, a membership for individuals and couples who want on-demand access to resources and tools to help them grow in their relationships. For high-level business positions, Don also provides executive coaching, where he focuses on relationship dynamics to help professionals navigate interpersonal relationship expectations at work and home.     In this episode, you will hear: Their big WHYs behind the podcast Amanda's career background What led Don to marriage and family counseling Getting inspired by seeing the power of transformation Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.   Supporting Resources: Gudlife www.gudlife.com  LifeWork Counseling http://www.lifeworkcounseling.net/    Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

    Welcome to Transforming Relationships by gudlife!

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2022 3:02


    What if you could hang out with a couples counselor and a communication expert, ask them about relationship needs, love, sex, romance, conflict, intimacy, passion, and more; then take an insight or two to rebuild and reshape your own relationships? That's what we do each week on Transforming Relationships by gudlife. Hosted by Don Olund –– Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, executive coach, speaker, and author –– and Amanda Berlin — PR and communications pro and former corporate publicity strategist — every episode is an in-depth look at how to communicate better, recapture the romance, and come back from loneliness, overwhelm, betrayal, neglect, and abandonment. The goal is to provide you with sound relationship advice and support in a more timely fashion.

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