Podcasts about citizenship in a republic

In this episode I go solo and talk about three different types of leaders found in the world: The BossThe ImposterThe Leader I discuss these three but ask you "are you the leader in the arena?" This is an adjusted passage from Theodore Roosevelt's speech "Citizenship In A Republic" with this specific paragraph known as "The Man in the Arena." I've adjusted the paragraph to be inclusive to the female leaders here. For the complete show notes be sure to check out our website: https://leaddontboss.com/232

On Sunday, January 2, 2022, a wildly talented wide receiver in the National Football League decided to remove his jersey and shoulder pads, throw his shirt and gloves into the stands, and simply walk across the field into the locker room all while the game continued to be played. Throughout 2021, the world, and primarily the western world, was subject to what has become known as The Great Resignation; a record number of people leaving their jobs for reasons not entirely known. Call it a re-evaluation, or a reset, we're not quite sure, but we do know it was and is real. Antonio Brown simply played out on a very public stage what many employers have seen privately in commercial kitchens, construction sites, and entertainment venues throughout the United States and other parts of the world.   On the same day, Antonio Brown walked away from his work with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers professional football team I heard of another worker at a local entertainment venue in our town walking off of their job mid-shift.  No major announcement, no obvious “incident”... they just turned in their gear and walked away. Earlier in 2021, a client of ours had two significant office staff members leave in the middle of the day.  If this is happening with reasonably well run businesses, it is bound to be happening on a larger scale.   We are in a season of culture where many seem to be in “fight mode”.  Fighting for this niche hope, or that niche desire.  Many of these fights are societal discussions that need to be had.   In most cases though, it is not the leaving that is the problem, but instead the fight method and forethought that goes into it. We want things to change and yet find ourselves unwilling to go through the hard, long, patient work of change in favor of abruptly walking out assuming that it will fix things either with the organization or with ourselves. There is one skill that stands in contrast to the “walk off” mindset that could bring massive value to you, your business, your community, and your family. Grit. Grit is defined as “courage and resolve; strength of character”. Grit is a visible endurance of something that is not ideal, yet by enduring it can create a next-level maturity that, without grit, will not be achieved. It will be easy in the Antonio Brown situation to focus on the underlying conditions that were the catalyst Brown used to exit his role, and then begin to put ourselves into jury mode in determining the validity of his grievance in contrast to the actions he took and declare, “Right” or “Wrong”. Instead, maybe we should ask, “what opportunities were missed by not allowing grit to play a role in sticking it out through the end of the game, and having a sit-down conversation without the cheap air support of a cryptic social media post?”  Grit is a face-to-face conversation. Grit is riding out the shift and then having a reasonable conversation. Grit is wading through emotion and objective reality. Grit is seeking wisdom before making a decision.   Grit is putting in the reps and realizing there is no such thing as an “overnight success”  Author John Sowers says simply, “hurry ruins everything.” We are working so hard to get so much more and many times missing what is right in front of us. Remember this wisdom statement, “to whom much is given, much is required.”  We work with a lot of people that have significant access to wealth and can tell you with great experience, the ones who “have it all” many times feel like it all has them. Many times we see anxiety increase with net worth. Grit is the gift of realizing that whether you have plenty or little, the gift is in being part of the team, being on the field… being in the arena. President Theodore Roosevelt had completed his two terms in office and was touring the world.  He passed through Paris, France, and offered a speech entitled “Citizenship In A Republic”.  It has come to be popularly known as the “Man In The Arena” speech and was meant to refute a society that had become a collection of arm-chair-quarterbacks, instead of participants in real life. Roosevelt famously says,  “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” As Antonio Brown theatrically left the arena, it was an interesting contrast to look back at the field of play and see twenty-two other men remain in the arena.  Twenty-two men along with their coaches, although likely not perfectly happy in their skill set, contract value, team relationships, or family availability; they continued on in the arena “marred with dust and sweat and blood…” erring, coming short, and spending themselves in a worthy cause. You may have woken to a New Year enthused with the opportunities that lie in wait or you may have woken to a New Year a bit dreadful of the striving that this year will require. Regardless, you have the opportunity to dare greatly, and by daring greatly to know victory or defeat along with a soul that is full of warmth and courage. Grit will be the necessary skill of a New Year.  

On Sunday, January 2, 2022, a wildly talented wide receiver in the National Football League decided to remove his jersey and shoulder pads, throw his shirt and gloves into the stands, and simply walk across the field into the locker room all while the game continued to be played. Throughout 2021, the world, and primarily the western world, was subject to what has become known as The Great Resignation; a record number of people leaving their jobs for reasons not entirely known. Call it a re-evaluation, or a reset, we're not quite sure, but we do know it was and is real. Antonio Brown simply played out on a very public stage what many employers have seen privately in commercial kitchens, construction sites, and entertainment venues throughout the United States and other parts of the world.   On the same day, Antonio Brown walked away from his work with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers professional football team I heard of another worker at a local entertainment venue in our town walking off of their job mid-shift.  No major announcement, no obvious “incident”... they just turned in their gear and walked away. Earlier in 2021, a client of ours had two significant office staff members leave in the middle of the day.  If this is happening with reasonably well run businesses, it is bound to be happening on a larger scale.   We are in a season of culture where many seem to be in “fight mode”.  Fighting for this niche hope, or that niche desire.  Many of these fights are societal discussions that need to be had.   In most cases though, it is not the leaving that is the problem, but instead the fight method and forethought that goes into it. We want things to change and yet find ourselves unwilling to go through the hard, long, patient work of change in favor of abruptly walking out assuming that it will fix things either with the organization or with ourselves. There is one skill that stands in contrast to the “walk off” mindset that could bring massive value to you, your business, your community, and your family. Grit. Grit is defined as “courage and resolve; strength of character”. Grit is a visible endurance of something that is not ideal, yet by enduring it can create a next-level maturity that, without grit, will not be achieved. It will be easy in the Antonio Brown situation to focus on the underlying conditions that were the catalyst Brown used to exit his role, and then begin to put ourselves into jury mode in determining the validity of his grievance in contrast to the actions he took and declare, “Right” or “Wrong”. Instead, maybe we should ask, “what opportunities were missed by not allowing grit to play a role in sticking it out through the end of the game, and having a sit-down conversation without the cheap air support of a cryptic social media post?”  Grit is a face-to-face conversation. Grit is riding out the shift and then having a reasonable conversation. Grit is wading through emotion and objective reality. Grit is seeking wisdom before making a decision.   Grit is putting in the reps and realizing there is no such thing as an “overnight success”  Author John Sowers says simply, “hurry ruins everything.” We are working so hard to get so much more and many times missing what is right in front of us. Remember this wisdom statement, “to whom much is given, much is required.”  We work with a lot of people that have significant access to wealth and can tell you with great experience, the ones who “have it all” many times feel like it all has them. Many times we see anxiety increase with net worth. Grit is the gift of realizing that whether you have plenty or little, the gift is in being part of the team, being on the field… being in the arena. President Theodore Roosevelt had completed his two terms in office and was touring the world.  He passed through Paris, France, and offered a speech entitled “Citizenship In A Republic”.  It has come to be popularly known as the “Man In The Arena” speech and was meant to refute a society that had become a collection of arm-chair-quarterbacks, instead of participants in real life. Roosevelt famously says,  “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” As Antonio Brown theatrically left the arena, it was an interesting contrast to look back at the field of play and see twenty-two other men remain in the arena.  Twenty-two men along with their coaches, although likely not perfectly happy in their skill set, contract value, team relationships, or family availability; they continued on in the arena “marred with dust and sweat and blood…” erring, coming short, and spending themselves in a worthy cause. You may have woken to a New Year enthused with the opportunities that lie in wait or you may have woken to a New Year a bit dreadful of the striving that this year will require. Regardless, you have the opportunity to dare greatly, and by daring greatly to know victory or defeat along with a soul that is full of warmth and courage. Grit will be the necessary skill of a New Year.  

True crime. The case of missing joy.And the secrecy and silence of shame. Mentions in this episode: Brene Brown Ted Talk on VulnerabilityBrene Brown Ted Talk on ShameTheodore Roosevelt, Excerpt from the speech “Citizenship In A Republic”delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 191015 Minutes of Shame

By Joe Wiegand, Medora's TR 4/23/2020 Citizenship in A Republic (includes The Man in the Arena) April 23, 1910 - The Sorbonne – Paris, France Medora, ND: https://www.facebook.com/MedoraND Teddy Roosevelt Show: https://www.facebook.com/TeddyRooseveltShow Executive Producer: Joe Wiegand Editor: Dillon Olson Additional Production: Justin Fisk ©, 2020, all rights reserved. Wiegand's Victory Enterprises, Inc. and the Theodore Roosevelt Medora Foundation

Written By Theodore Roosevelt Narrated by Joshua Noyer Address delivered at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910. "Character must show itself in the man's performance both of the duty he owes himself and of the duty he owes the state." https://www.nationalreformation.org/post/citizenship-in-a-republic  

Written By Theodore Roosevelt Narrated by Joshua Noyer Address delivered at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910. "Character must show itself in the man's performance both of the duty he owes himself and of the duty he owes the state." https://www.nationalreformation.org/post/citizenship-in-a-republic  

Basketball Season is here and in the few minutes before selecting this year's Middle School team and cutting a throng of athletes, Hugo shares his thoughts on Sport and what it means to play. Today on the Show: Excerpt from the speech "Citizenship In A Republic"delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910 by Teddy Roosevelt: "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Subscribe to the Podcast or you can find Hugo on Twitter at @hugosposts on Insta at @hugotorres or his blog at sangabrielvalley.blogspot.com

"My deep emotional struggle has been a secret, hidden behind the façade of dependability. I’ve been busy making sadness wrong and I was not sure how to talk about it." Exposing the Cracks that the Light May Come In Hey guys this Sarah Mastriani-Levi and I wanted to take a few minutes to speak to you from my heart about what's been happening with me, about what's been going on with my podcast and what’s been occurring in my business over the past few months. I usually don't share a lot of personal stuff on this platform. Although, most of you know that I will share personal anecdotes from time to time to support your processes. But this time, I wanted to let you know a little bit about the authentic and human side of what's been going on lately. I hope it will encourage you and give you support that you're not alone in what you're going through. These past few months have been tough for me emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually. I have felt like I’ve gone through some challenges that have happened, if for no other reason, then to slow down my pace. For all of you, who personally know me, being an extremely driven, overachiever has been a trademark of my personality for the majority of my life. But something has happened… maybe lots of some things…that have begun to shift my perspective. In October 2016, Hurricane Matthew did some massive damage to my community, and much of the Southern East Coast. We caught the brunt of the storm. We were evacuated from our homes and forced into a “Hurri-cation mode”. Much of my business is online, so fortunately I could operate it from “the cloud” and the hotel where we were staying. However, while we were away there was a massive energy shift that happened in this area. For me, trees are like souls, and coming back to the storm damaged area was shocking, to say the least. Now nearly five months later, we are still seeing FEMA collecting fallout debris from the storm. As you may imagine, hundreds of thousands of trees were erased from the natural landscape. It felt like a spiritual emptying out, almost as if there were volunteer souls that bowed out, in order to allow space and light, for new energy, to come into the area. All in all, that would be a really positive thing, but simultaneously there seems to be a grieving process, both of the people and of the land for the changes that have happened and continue to evolve here. There's a heavy energy, and what feels like opposition to a lot of the new energy that is flowing in. Being an empath, I'm very sensitive to this. Honestly, it has caused me to lose my rhythm a little. It has toyed with my productive abilities for my business, and otherwise. All of this has challenged me spiritually and emotionally throughout these past several months. It has caused me to question my relationships and whether I am in the right location or not. The election season has been overwhelming, surprising and divisive. So much of what I never believed could happen, has…everyday seems like a new surprise, a new twist, a new turn. I feel constant fear and unease in the current political environment. I feel like I’m walking on egg-shells not to accidentally mention my opinion in the “wrong company.” Much of what’s around me believes differently, and I can’t for the life of me wrap my mind around it or support it. I keep asking myself, “is there a chance I could be wrong?” but cannot seem to understand how I could ever think or feel the opposite of what I do. I can’t understand what others are supporting. Strangely, nearly every project that I had started before October has not come to fruition. That is totally unlike me because I love efficiently finishing projects, more than just about anything else. In addition to all of that, every single project that I tried to launch over the past few months has sent me mixed messages with constant snafus and delays. Nearly every lecture that I was invited to speak at, has had a great reaction online, only to be followed by people who don't show up. That was after the fact that they told me personally that the message and topic I was sharing were excellent and important. My podcast, which has brought me so much joy, suddenly went through a shift too. The recording software stopped working for all PCs. I shifted to another recording software to record four important and powerful conversations with Jay Wong, Selena Delesie, Kelly Harrell and Toku McCree, only to discover on each one that my voice was barely audible (in spite of successful test runs). This really shook me up, not just on the technical level of why did this only work great in the test run, but also it was a huge embarrassment considering I had been waiting for months to talk with each of these people. It sent me spiraling…trying to find technical solutions. I also sunk deep into an energetic rabbit hole of questions regarding the value of my voice and why the universe was stopping it from being shared, on what seemed like every front. Was my antenna aimed at the wrong audience? Was I sharing a message that wasn't welcome? Was what I have to share not of value? During the following 2 months, I worked to create a program to launch during the last two weeks of December, along with a mastermind course. I designed it so people could read more and sign up on line, on my website. During the third week of December my website “white screened,” so not only  no launch…no one had access to my website for 10 days, as I gathered all of the parts. Essentially, I was invisible. I scheduled lectures to do an in-person of these programs. Again, tons of interest…and no one showed up. I have lost my mojo and my desire to explain myself to people, locally. Especially those who are not willing to pay $30 for a workshop that could create a healthy lifestyle change and heal what they are suffering from…but alas… that doesn’t come in a bottle or pill. I feel like I’m always swimming upstream and I’m tired. Tons of questioning and self-doubt ensued, as I pushed forward in my creative process. Perhaps I just needed to wait for the stars to fall into alignment for my message to be clear? What did I need to change? How could I possibly feel so connected on some levels and so utterly unheard? It even brought into question the worthiness of the work that I am doing. Although I know that this is a common phenomenon creators go through in the creative process (a.k.a. “the thrash”). I still was full of questions. I felt stuck in the rubble and not sure how to begin to rebuild. I have gone through a very difficult and depressed couple of months. My deep emotional struggle has been a secret, hidden behind the façade of dependability. I’ve been busy making sadness wrong and I was not sure how to talk about it. I am so thankful for the joy my kids and my work bring me in the moments between my relentless questioning. I have felt alone on my journey. I have been in the sad state grieving, within my soul, that may not be so different than the trees that were broken and uprooted. I have felt extremely challenged as a single-mother. My kids see their father 1-2 times a year for 10 days. He lives abroad. I do my best to be the support system of two parents, but it’s just me. I attempt to hold it all together and be what my kids need: physically, mentally and spiritually. They are my number one priority. I feel so happy when they are happy…but lately they have been sad too. Lonely and feeling unconnected to their peers on different levels. I try to hold space for their processes. I feel guilty for feeling jealous of happy families that have two active and loving parents. There is a strangeness in the foreign realization that there are actually couples that enjoy spending time with their partners and families. I feel ashamed to admit that every picture I see of others participating Father/daughter dances tears my heart in two, and brings tears to my eyes. There is no one to play with them on the weekends like their peers’ fathers do. There is no one else around to sign permission slips or to stay home with them should they need to. There is no one else to spilt the driving with when all four kids have activities in four different locations, all at the same time. Who do stay to cheer on…how do you divide yourself? This parenting thing is a one woman show…My commitment and intensity haven’t really left space for anyone else to join me on this journey. Not that I wouldn’t want it. However, no one seems to be able to dependably show up or keep up, as I would need for them to, to be a part of our lives. This too has been a generator of sadness and solitude. I can’t just will myself out of the situation. This past weekend I had a strange wake-up call. I was tired. It was 22:00 and the kids were doing their thing, as I was starting to wind down for the night. I went upstairs to say goodnight only to find a big mess, primarily from one of my kids. It was not just in the bedroom, also in the shared family room. There was a box under the craft table that had a couple hundred crayons dumped on the floor. A clear message that it didn’t matter to whomever dropped it. I was annoyed they had fallen and not been collected…I decided I would bend down and pick them up and not escalate with my volume and discourse on the subject. What followed was the most asinine, unintentionally self-inflicted injury that I have encountered to date. Generally, I have awesome spatial perception and orientation, but this night was definitely different. I bent down quickly, focusing my gaze on the dumped crayons and swiftly caught my forehead on the blunt of a straight back wooden chair. I heard my skull crack from the intensity. I found myself on the floor with the kids all around me, scared and wanting to be helpful. At first I saw stars, and then realized that I couldn’t see out of my right eye. I was worried and in pain. I questioned how this happened and what it symbolized… What am I not seeing that’s right in front of me? Where am I banging my energy because I am trying too hard or too fast?  And yes, I realize that I’m addicted to understanding why? but the message was there: Slow down. Rest. Zoom out. Go into the quiet. Soften up the process. Stop pushing so damn hard. Drop the harshness of the drive. It’s not helping you to move forward. Listen to the Universe’s rhythm, rather than trying overpower it. Take care of yourself. There is no one else who will take care of them. Parenting has been and always will be my top priority. Second to that is serving others and creating impact through my work. I have been struggling to know how and when to share about what I’ve been processing for a couple of reasons. The first is that, as a coach, it is not a great feeling to be totally vulnerable and to talk about personal difficulties. The second is the realization that life is series of cyclical hero’s journeys that you may or may not choose to embark upon…and it’s grueling and emotionally difficult to describe the most difficult part of the process while you are in the midst of it. You can see a diagram of the stages of the hero’s journey in the show notes, if you are not familiar with Joseph Campbell’s work. Diagram of the hero’s journey  It is so much easier to share when you are on the other side of an endeavor and you can be encouraging and remind others the arduous tasks of personal development are indeed, worthwhile. When you are at the bottom, lonely, and deep in inaccessible solitude, it is often difficult to see the end. If you’ve been through it or something like it before, then you probably know that there will be an end, but the inability to be more than a player and a witness to your process becomes overwhelming. There is no set timeline. I often think of the TED talk by Jill Bolte Taylor, wherein she describes going through a stroke, as a neurological and stroke researcher. She talks about recognizing all of the steps of what was going on…she understood it all, yet she still had a stroke and had to deal with the ramifications of it.  Click here to listen to the TED talk with Jill Bolte Taylor I also know… that when you choose to play the game…this game of personal growth and development… you are the one in the arena, subject to anything and everything that may come up…everything you could or couldn’t predict. I am reminded of this excerpt of Theodore Roosevelt’s speech "Citizenship In A Republic" delivered in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910. It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.  I am voluntarily in the arena…I choose to remain there. It’s not easy. I signed up for the advanced course. I’m here to make a difference…I’m here to create impact. I push forward…not knowing where it will take me. I recall the words of Zig Zigler, “Go as far as you can see; When you get there, you’ll see further.” From a spiritual perspective, I know that everything is as it should be. I know that timing is just a human illusion. Yet, from a very human perspective…I often struggle. I know that I do not have to give up on my dream to create impact, to generously give back, to have a voice that matters. I just have to relinquish the timeline that I have connected to the process. I know that I cannot truly accept the “call to adventure” if I have placed my own timeline on the journey. Albert Einstein’s words remind us that “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.” I have realized that everything I want to create and share couldn’t possibly come to fruition on the timeline that I created months, years…or even decades ago. Everything has shifted with divine timing that was and is beyond my control or comprehension at times. The strangeness of the past few months has also brought a different level of podcasts and expression due to my partially inaudible recordings. Over the next four episodes you will hear a different vibe than you may have become accustomed to. As my voice, either wasn’t recorded, or was recorded in limited capacity, I will be featuring excerpts from the greatness of conversations with Jay Wong, Selena Delesie, Kelly Harrell and Toku McCree. I have been waiting to bring them to refinement and release, until I was clear on how to explain what had happened. The goal of my podcast is multi-faceted and remains the same. As a coach, I want others to hear these amazing conversations that I get to experience. I believe that they are valuable, impactful and important. I honor every one of the guests that I have had on, and will have on in the future, for sharing their amazing stories and messages. I think the second and primary reason for the podcast’s creation was to give a platform for the voices that are often heard only in private conversations… to show that emotional intimacy is not only an achievable goal… it can happen in one conversation…in one moment…in one synchronized breath. I feel like I would be robbing others of the opportunity of learning something great, along with me, if I did not share these messages. I wanted to offer them my gratitude for the work they are putting out in the world, inspired by Thich Nhat Hahn’s quote of “How can I love you more?”. As well as the question of how can I help others to love what you are doing as much as I do? I questioned whether I needed to redefine my business and brand identity, knowing that on some level I wanted to redefine my hustle. I have had numerous conversations trying to gain clarity. Tons of things are in the works and I have had to call on my coaches and guides to help keep me moving forward. I’m clear that 2017 is the year I desire to become completely location independent. I do deep work with inspired and creative leaders who are invested in their own spiritual hero’s journey. I provide coaching, as well as create courses and services to support their spiritual and physical health and wellness. I have five courses in the works that are launching soon including: Food and the Heroes Journey-How to Fuel Greatness (thank you Jan Black for helping me refine the concept) The Hero’s Journey Backpack Crash Course-helping others to understand what they need to have in their spiritual backpack to embark on a true spiritual journey (Riley Temple, Brian Musial and Paul Nattoli, you guys talked me through this one) I have a mastermind in the works for people who are suffering from the loneliness and isolation that often comes from being spiritual and creative entrepreneurs (Liz Scully, your guidance is unmatched on this subject) I have a year-long program called Your year of Transformation that I've been slowly building. (Peter Rossetti, thank you for your patience and helping me to realize that everything in life is just a design problem that needs a spiritual solution) I have updated my Creating a Better You program to be in alignment with the kinds of people who are a good fit for me to work with. As many of you may or may not know, all good coaches have other coaches and advisors, because they know their value and are willing to pay for good coaching. So, I turned to MY support team of coaches and friends to really try and dig deep to figure out what I needed to shift within me to create my greatest message in the world. Amongst the others, on my support team I would like to show appreciation for: Soness Stevens, my TED speaker coach, for guiding me to connect with ease and grace as I prepare my speech. Karen Wright, you have been encouraging and helped me to remember that you can't take on as much as I have as a single parent without it being hard… That it is supposed to be hard. Marika Tomkins you have reminded me that I need to continue sharing the human side of my spiritual struggles and to allow it to come out authentically. Without you, I wouldn’t have considered sharing publicly what has been going on in my life. Deborah Williams, you have kept me returning to look at the spiritual brilliance of shifting and changing money mindsets. Anthony Mattis, you continue to remind me how to lose judgment where I didn't even realize it existed, to always consider that “it's an interesting point of view that I have that point of view” and not wrap any conclusions around that. Chris Suddeth, your Energy work has been pivotal in helping me, reminding me that it's OK to express my humor and wit, as well as my sweet side. Jacqueline Friel Smith, thanks for helping me to see myself as others see me and capturing that, even when it is difficult for me to see it. Laura Petersen, your reminder that “only good will come from this” has been reassuring. Also, bringing up the question of “what am I not willing to see, that if I was willing to see would change all realities?” has be extremely helpful. Diana Babauta, thank you for your support and believing in what I do. Thank you for helping me to keep my body in a strong and functional condition. Ifetayo White, your loving grandmother energy and powerful spiritual work continues to be an inspiration. Nick Snapp, your encouragement and understanding has helped me to connect to the very pragmatic and functional side of getting things done. Your program Real Accountable is a phenomenal resource and I want to see you succeed in serving others through this amazing gift you have created. Anna Cragin your positivity and accountability have shown up and allowed me to acknowledge the achievements that I have made. In spite of the fact that my desire to accomplish things is in constant overdrive; You have helped me to celebrate the small wins. Moshe Dekel, thank you for helping to keep me healthy, seeing value in my approach to holistic medicine and guiding me when and where necessary. There have been so many others who have shown up and offered an ear, a word of encouragement, a word of advice. For all of you, I am thankful. My focus has shifted to the questions of: What if everything I’m doing and going through is exactly right? How would I approach my work differently? I lean on the words of one of my heroes Maya Angelou who said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” I’ve been trying to be even more attuned to messages from the universe, through opportunities that present themselves. I’ve been examining where, within my spirit I have blocked the appearance of ease and grace from an outdated, limiting belief pattern that everything good needs to come through very hard work (a.k.a. the workaholics constant “fix” of validation). I am a creator and I won’t stop creating powerful tools and transformations for the amazing clients I have the privilege to work with. I am working and writing all the time, often single-handedly. I actively silence the negative self-talk, daily, to push forward while listening to the cosmic timing. Some days I flow with ease, others I feel like I must power through. But I show up. Every. Damn. Day. In fact, I’ve been sleeping in the “arena” for years. I recognize the need for surrender and I am allowing the light into the cracks. I continue from a place of deep knowing and intuitive inspiration. Rumi tells us, “the wound is where the light enters you.”   And Leonard Cohen reminds us: Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack in everything That’s how the light gets in… This is Sarah Mastriani-Levi of Mannafest Living signing off from a riff on Simple Change- Creating Impact One Conversation at a Time. Thanks for taking the time to listen.   Connect and Follow Sarah Email Website Facebook Personal Facebook Business Twitter Instagram LinkedIn     Never miss an episode of weekly inspiration from Simple Change. Subscribe now through iTunes, or Stitcher, or listen to an episode here. Simple Change Theme Music by Hani’el Mastriani-Levi Simple Change Logo by Eden Mastriani-Levi This podcast was edited by Mannafest Living

Episode 41, When a Parent Feels Judged   In This Episode:   What does it mean with someone feels “judged”?  When you feel something in your heart that your mind knows isn’t true.  It can wreak havoc on family relationships. One thing that I remember from a pre-marital training called Pre-Cana was the emphasis of not sharing personal disagreements and issues with friends and family members.  When personal conflicts occur and get resolved within the couple relationship, but close members of the inner circle are made privy to one side of the issue, long after the issue is over, the knowledge of that deep, personal feelings of their often skewed (because they only heard one side of the argument) perception lingers.  And, the relationships suffer as a result.  It can’t be unheard, unfelt or undone. Feeling judged isn’t something that everyone deals with though.  Some people are more impacted by their caring what people think of them.  It has a lot to do with how we are wired, our own life experiences and the things that we feel to be true about ourselves.  When it can have a big impact is when someone feels judged, whether perceived or real, by multiple people.  It can feel painful, especially if the parent is already conscious of a need for improvement in that area anyway. It’s important to distinguish between reality and perception.  Sometimes it can feel like others are judging us simply because we are judging ourselves.   Or if we have been judged or called out on a certain issue before, when it comes up again an emotional response could be triggered. It’s really helpful to see it for what it is. If it’s really painful, do a check in with yourself to determine if you need some healing in that area.  If big emotions come from a situation of feeling judged, it’s almost certain that the feelings link to another situation.  If that situation hasn’t been fully processed and healed from yet, you may be more at risk for feeling judged.  When people feel judged, sometimes they close up to risk their vulnerability and that is when maladaptive behaviors start to form and relationships start to suffer. Putting it into perspective can make a difference.  Looking at the source and thinking through the facts can be incredibly helpful with putting it in to a healthy perspective.   I love Brené Brown’s books.  In her works, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and The Gift of Imperfection she speaks a great deal about vulnerability. Vulnerability is  feeling free to be authentic, daring to follow your dreams, being true to yourself and your values at the risk of being judged.  When we can be vunerable, we can be more creative, we can parent better, we can love more fully, and a gazillion other things that aren’t possible if we live in that space of fear of judgement. So, why do people judge?  Quite simply, I believe it’s a character defect to go around judging everyone else.   I’m certainly not saying that I’ve never done it.  I’ve gotten so much better over the years and with my years of training and experience in this field.  It is common unfortunately, but it can be “fixed”.  When you stop judging others, you ultimately end up feeling good about yourself.  Way back in the early days of this podcast, I had an episode on about “How to Nurture Kind Kids” with Carol McCloud the author of Have You Filled a Bucket Today book.  The link is in the show notes http://jackieflynnconsulting.com/03-nurturing-genuinely-kind-kids-with-carol-mccloud/  one of the big messages in this book is that when we are kind to others, we ultimately make ourselves happy in the process. In this world, there’s no such things as a “perfect parent”.  We make mistakes, it gets messy sometimes, and it is a work in progress.  Give yourself permission to be real, to be human.  In this space of authenticity, you can model that genuine you to life and problem solving.  While it’s not always pretty, it can help you raise a confident child that feels free to be their authentic self.  Free to love and live without having guards up.  If you haven’t done so yet, listen to my episode 29 “How Taking Advice From Other Parents Can Be Like Wearing Their Skinny Jeans” on this topic. The link is in the shownotes  http://jackieflynnconsulting.com/29-how-taking-advice-from-other-parents-can-be-like-wearing-their-skinny-jeans/ In a couple of other episodes, I mentioned the quote “HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE”.  I think for this topic of when parents feel judged, it’s helpful to look at who’s doing the judging.  In Brené Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, she mentions one of Teddy Roosevelts quote “in the area” from a speech that he gave that still holds true today.  It’s an excerpt from his speech "Citizenship In A Republic" that he                                           delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910. Here it is: It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. So if the person that’s doing the judging isn’t “in the arena” then their judgment, aka “opinion” doesn’t really count.  They don’t get to take up valuable real estate in my brain.  But if they are someone in the arena, worthy of me caring about their opinion, then I take it with a filter.  I keep what is helpful and filter out what is not.  This was a profound lesson in my life.  If you haven’t read her books or watched her Ted Talks yet, I highly recommend that you do as soon as possible.  Her concepts can help you get through tough times, as well as raise your resiliency levels to other people’s judgment. If you haven’t done so yet, be sure to join us on Facebook in our group Parenting in the Rain Community and like our page Parenting in the Rain Podcast, Hosted by Jackie Flynn If you’d like to connect with me, I offer consultation and parent coaching support.  Just email me at jackie@jackieflynnconsulting.com or at my private practice at jackie@counselinginbrevard.com Below Are Some Sites, Affiliate Links to Books/Products That I Love My Parent Coaching Program - https://jackieflynnconsulting.simplero.com/products/52176-Parent-Coaching-Program   Labyrinths 20% off for calming, focus and connectedness.  http://www.relax4life.com/JF.html

This week on the 426th episode of the show formerly known as the Urban Shooter Podcast, “your friend and brother from another mother” encourages you not to give up no matter what your goal or dream is.  He gives a big shout out to https://www.facebook.com/anthony.colandro, there is a casting call for a new show on the History Channel, and introduces a new feature - reading some highlights from GunsAmerica.com. And an original song professionally done to motivate you.  New sponsor from Accu-Tac.com     THE MAN IN THE ARENA                                           Excerpt from the speech "Citizenship In A Republic"                                           delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910                                            It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.