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On this episode we were so lucky to get a chance to speak with Susan Pieper, owner and founder of DMOS. In this episode we learn: - How to pronounce Dmos (Hint think D-MOST( just leave off the T). -How Susan's frustration led to the creation of the DMOS shovel. - What DMOS actually stands for - Its probably what you think it is, but you won't know if you don't tune in! - When is a shovel not just a shovel - and how about when that shovel helps Olympians earn medals! - What it's like to be judged by and work with some of the biggest figures in the aftermarket industry at SEMA. Additionally Susan shares stories from her experiences in the Rebelle Rally and as an open ocean sailor. Join us for a great conversation about simplicity, colors, and making sure everything has a place, and everything is in its place. Make sure to follow DMOS on their: Website: https://dmoscollective.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dmos_collective Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DMOSCollective And don't forget to check out and subscribe to STO Nation's: Website: www.stonation.life Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stonation.life Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/sto_nation Or you can buy us a beer!: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/stonation A special thanks to our sponsors: Volta Power Systems - https://voltapowersystems.com Kerma Vans - https://kermavans.com La Mesa RV - https://www.lamesarv.com Canyon Adventure Vans - https://canyonadventurevans.com STO Nation Production Credits: Audio Engineer: Stephen Grasso https://www.instagram.com/go_that_a_way Marketing Director: Guillaume Golsong https://www.instagram.com/ggolsong Original Music and Artist: Jason Walsmith and The Nadas https://www.instagram.com/theracontourists Sound Designer: Lorenzo Interiano https://www.instagram.com/b2modefamily Website Designer Extraordinaire: Peng Shi https://www.instagram.com/spikeehair
Lately, I’ve received numerous emails asking, in essence, "how can I help my loved one who has this or that problem?" I would say that I get several emails like that every week. For example, here's one from a man we’ll call “Karl.” Love you podcasts. Listen as often as I can. keep reading your books. Our son is in an unhappy marriage. Last night we talked and he mentioned that there is no love in their marriage. Just coldness. The children "feel" the chasm. There is a lack of trust in the home. Our son feels he did not protect the children in defense of their mom, even though he disagreed with her. Now the children feel their father does not have their best interests. Our daughter-in-law feels that everything is fine. She uses the passive-aggressive "silent treatment" to punish others. Our son says she is controlling and manipulative, and that the children have become that way also. There's no truth in the home. Years ago, she wanted them to go to counseling, but our son refused; now the tables are turned. Sad. We want to help but don't know how to approach it. What podcasts would be helpful to us? And to our son and daughter-in-law? We visit our grandchildren often, sometimes one-on-one. Communications are open with them and with our son. Daughter-in-law feels, and tells others, we are conspiring against her Karl Thank you Karl, for that moving email. It can be really sad and frustrating to see a couple in conflict who are at odds with each, especially when your son and grandchildren are involved. And I can imagine you might also be feeling anxious and a bit helpless, and deeply concerned! When I wrote Feeling Good forty years ago, I tried to make it clear that the cognitive therapy tools I described in that book are for people to use to help themselves. It is okay to correct your own distorted negative thoughts in order to break out of a bad mood. But it is generally NOT a good idea to try to correct someone else’s distorted thoughts, because they’ll just get ticked off at you! This is a very understandable error, because you may get really excited by the things I’m teaching, and how helpful they can be when you’re feeling depressed, anxious, or insecure. So it just makes sense that you would want to share these tools with others. But those are generally NOT the tools to use when you’re talking to your son, daughter, spouse, or friend who’s feeling down in the dumps. There is a way to help someone you love who’s hurting—but you’ll have to use an entirely different set of tools and skills—the Five Secrets of Effective Communication—WITHOUT trying to “help.” So, the short answer to your question is—skillful listening is all that’s called for. Anything more runs the risk of getting you into trouble. But this may require a radical change in the way you communicate, as well as your personal philosophy. Let’s talk about what TO do, and what NOT to do when patients, friends or people you care about express angst, or seem troubled, or describe problems in their lives, and they seem to be hurting a lot. DO NOT Give advice Try to help Try to cheer the person up Try to solve the problem s/he is struggling with Try to get the other person to think or act more positively Try to minimize the problem by saying it’s not that bad, or things will get better. Point out ways the other person may be thinking or acting in a self-defeating manner. Before we tell you what does work, let me focus on just one of these errors, to bring it to life for you. Recently, Rhonda and I recorded a live therapy session with a man named who was upset because his mother had lost the use of her legs to due a rare neurological disorder, and needed much greater care in an assisted living facility. This required selling the house his mother was living so they could afford the assisted living facility, and it was a great loss for everyone, since Kevin was raised in that house, and his parents and grandparents had lived there, too. After Rhonda and I empathized with him for about thirty minutes, we asked the other therapists to offer empathy as well, as part of their practice and training that evening. We stressed the importance of simply summarizing what Kevin had told us (Thought Empathy) and how he was feeling (Feeling Empathy), without trying to “help.” One of the therapists, who was new to the group, kind of missed the mark, She did what we call “cheerleading,” telling Kevin what a wonderful and heroic person he was without acknowledging what he’d be saying and how painful it was for him. You’ll hear this brief excerpt from the session in the podcast. When we asked Kevin how he felt about her comment, he had to tell her that he was embarrassed, and not helped, by what she’d said. Here’s why. When you don’t acknowledge someone’s profound negative feelings of loss, anxiety, sadness, anger, and more, you might unintentionally convey the message that you don’t want to hear about how they really feel inside. And when you cheerlead, it also conveys the message that the person is not very intelligent, and simply has to be cheered up, and then everything will be okay! We cannot be too hard on this therapist, because her efforts came from the heart, and I'm sure she felt sad for this man. And most of us have made the same mistake at times, or even often. I frequently hear parents trying to cheer their children up, or trying to tell their children what to do, or how to change, without really listening. But, most of the time, it just doesn’t work like that! Now that you know what NOT to do, what can you do that WILL help? DO Use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, with an emphasis on the listening skills. One of the most important skills is called Feeling Empathy—simply acknowledging how the other person is feeling, and asking them to tell you more, and if you got it right. For example, let’s say a friend or family member is procrastinating on something important, like a research report or college application, and is feeling pretty upset and self-critical. You could say something like this: “It sounds like you’re beating up on yourself for procrastinating, I’m wondering if you’re feeling down, sad or depressed? anxious, worried, pressured, or nervous? guilty or ashamed? inadequate, worthless, defective, or inferior? alone or lonely? humiliated or self-conscious? discouraged or hopeless? stuck or defeated? angry, annoyed, hurt, or upset?” I find that people really like it when I ask these questions, and I let them answer each one. Then I ask them about their negative thoughts. What are they telling themselves? What are the upsetting messages? When you use this approach, you are literally doing nothing to “help” the other person, but if you listen skillfully, she or he will probably really appreciate your listening, and you may end up feeling really close. In fact, I (David), had this exact experience just a couple days ago with a student who was struggling and feeling down. Often, the person who’s depressed will be someone you love, like a family member, so your concerns for him or her, and your desire to “help,” are an expression of your love. But listening skillfully will likely be a whole lot more effective. And you can express your own feelings, too, with "I Feel" Statements, like "I feel sad to hear how down you've been feeling, because I love you a lot." Example A woman named Clarissa was concerned because her son, Billy, who is in his early 20s, had been severely depressed for several years, and had not responded to treatment with antidepressants and even lithium. Clarissa had read my book, Feeling Good, and listened to almost all of the Feeling Good Podcasts. She described herself as a true “TEAM-CBT convert because she’d worked with a therapist trained in TEAM-CBT and no longer suffered from the depression and anxiety she’d struggled with most of her adult life. She agreed with a lot of what I’d said on the podcasts about the chemical imbalance theory (there’s no convincing evidence for it) and antidepressants (recent research suggests they do not outperform placebos to a clinically significant degree). But Billy was saying things like this: “Mom, I KNOW I have a chemical imbalance because this cloud will suddenly come over me, and I feel TERRIBLE. It’s not about negative thoughts—I don’t have any negative thoughts. My depression is clearly the result of a chemical imbalance, and I feel doomed by my genes.” Then Clarissa would try to cheer him up, which always failed, or would try to convince him that it’s not about a chemical imbalance and that if he really tried TEAM-CBT, he could overcome his depression, just as she had done. These are such common errors! How could Clarissa respond more effectively? If she focuses on good listening skills, instead of trying to win an argument, she might say something like this: “Billy, I really love you, and feel so sad to hear about your depression. You’re absolutely right, too. Sometimes a bad mood seems to come from out of the blue, with no rhyme or reason. And genes can be important. I've struggled with depression in the past, and maybe you've inherited some of my genes. Tell me more about how you’ve been feeling. Have you been feeling down, anxious, ashamed, hopeless, or angry? What you’re saying is so important, and I really want to her what's it's been like for you.” Can you see that Billy would be more likely to open up and might even share some things that he’s been hiding, out of a sense of frustration, anger, or shame? And can you also see that providing some love and support—pure listening, with compassion—might be a lot more helpful than getting into an argument about the causes of depression? He might open up about all sorts of things that have been eating away at him—problems with girls, sex, sports, or his studies, or concerns about his looks, or even feelings of shame about his depression. The next question is—when DO you help someone? And HOW do you help them. The approach I use as a therapist might be the same approach you’d want to use. At the beginning of every therapy session, I empathize without trying to help, exactly as I’ve been teaching you in this podcast, and in this document, and I give the other person some time—typically about 30 minutes or so—just to vent while I use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication—listening skillfully—without trying to “help.” Then I ask the patient to grade me on empathy. I say, “How am I doing so far in terms of understanding how you’re thinking and feeling? Would you give me an A, a B, a C, or perhaps even a D?” Most of the time, the other person WILL give you a grade. If they give you an A, you’re in good shape. But if they give you an A-, or a B+, or worse, ask them to explain the part you’re missing, or not getting right. When they tell you, you can use the Five Secrets again, summarizing the part you missed, and then ask what your grade is, to see if you’ve improved. Usually, your grade will improve a lot. Do NOT try to “help” until you received an A! So, let’s assume you’ve gotten an A. What then? Then I do what’s called the Invitation Step in TEAM therapy—I ask if the other person wants help with any of the problems s/he has been discussing. You can ask the same question. If the other person does NOT want help, but just wanted to talk and get support, your job is done. You can also ask if they want to talk some more. Most of the time, all people want is a little listening and support, and they’re not looking for help or advice. But if the other person DOES want help, you can ask what kind of help they’re looking for. Then you can decide if you’re in a position to provide that type of help. Sometimes, the help they're looking for might not be something you can provide. For example, they may be angry at someone they're not getting along with, and may want you to tell the other person to change. I explain that this is not something I would know how to do, but I could possibly help them change the way they interact with that person. This may sound really simple, but it takes a lot of practice and determination! It can be a lot harder than it looks. Many people will NOT want to go down this road, and will insist on jumping in to help or cheerlead. You can do that if you want, but in my experience, pushing help on people who are hurting is rarely helpful. The “need” to help or rescue can result from your love and compassion, but it can also result from narcissism, codependency, or the desire to control or dominate another person. I see it as a kind of an addiction, too. If you want to learn more about this, here are some things you can do: You can read my book, Feeling Good Together, and do the written exercises while reading, so you can master the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. This is a BIG assignment, but the reward, in terms of more loving and satisfying relationships with the people you love, will be equally great. You can try using "I Feel" Statements and Feeling Empathy with at least one person every day this week. David D. Burns, M.D. & Rhonda Barovsky, Psy.D.
11 + Lou Bank / S.A.C.R.E.D / Most of the time it works just fine On this edition of the podcast, we welcomed Lou Bank, entrepreneur and founder of S.A.C.R.E.D (Saving Agave for Culture, Recreation, Education and Development). S.A.C.R.E.D is a not-for-profit that helps improve lives in the rural Mexican communities where heirloom agave spirits are made. We discuss the projects that S.A.C.R.E.D is currently involved in as well as the mechanism he has created to encourage donations to the organization. Lou shares his technique for bringing back expressions from Mexico (spoiler alert, you can bring back a lot more than I thought). You can find Lou traveling throughout the states sharing agave distillates along with his particular perspectives about these spirits, Mexico and the mezcal industry. As always we posted images Lou generously shared with us on the !Hey Hey! Agave page of our website. Take a look at this great time-lapse video of the quiote blooming from the 50-year-old Agave Americana at the Garfield Park Conservatory in Chicago. Lou is hosting an event there on Sept 12th to celebrate the blooming plant, a once in its lifetime event! ¡Hey Hey! Agave is dedicated to all things agave. Join us for conversations with industry experts, enthusiasts, producers and educators as we discuss the fascinating world of agave spirits. ¡Hey Hey! Agave is a podcast from TUYO NYC Music: Milagro Verde Production: Sabrina Lessard and Gabriel Velazquez Zazueta Editor: Brittany Prater
For seven seasons, Actor DONNY MOST played the devilish, girl chasing and practical joker, Ralph Malph on the iconic television show, Happy Days. He also made guest appearances on: Emergency, The Love Boat, CHIPS and Charles in Charge. Nowadays, he is back to doing what he loves best, his first love...music. His latest album D Most, Mostly Swinging has been receiving amazing reviews. He is currently delighting audiences across the country with a unique show that fuses the swing era with 50's cool jazz. SUBSCRIBE to our YOUTUBE CHANNEL! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw4fcgG7ODeiEbR7HDUZl3A
Days don’t get happier than this. Don Most ~ it’s ok with him if we call him Donny… sings and swings! Oh boy does he! He opened and closed the show with song ~ cool standards, and it just doesn’t get any better. Don went Inside Happy Days, great stories about Henry Winkler and his creation of the Fonz, Ron Howard, Robin Williams, Garry Marshall, his stronger than ever friendship with Anson Williams ~ his journey as a 9 yr old from Bklyn to hitting the stage and falling in love… from camp at Shrub Oak with my old boyfriend Ira to performing in the Catskills, commercials, TV and film, serious actor, to iconic comedic television… back to the stage, TV, more film, award-winning directing, to rediscovering his passion for singing, performing with an orchestra, a new CD, a new film, his upcoming show at The Catalina Club for WeSpark ~ cancer support of the highest order under the direction of his former co-star, the gorgeous inside and out, Nancy Allen, & pretty much everything in between. What a dollface. To know Don is to love him. One of the most glorious, fun hours I’ve lived. Don at The Catalina Club, July 29th for WeSpark https://www.facebook.com/events/395410454284108/ D Most, Mostly Swinging https://www.amazon.com/D-Most-Mostly-Swinging-Donny/dp/B01N98TQB0 Don Most on The Road Taken, Celebrity Maps to Success Wed, 7/11/18, 7 pm PT/ 10 pm ET With Louise Palanker Live on The Facebook Full Show Replay Here: https://bit.ly/2L8HKRg All BROADcasts, as podcasts, also available on iTunes apple.co/2dj8ld3 Soundcloud http://bit.ly/2hktWoS Stitcher bit.ly/2h3R1fl tunein bit.ly/2gGeItj This week's BROADcast is brought to you by Rick Smolke of Quik Impressions, the best printers, printing, the best people people-ing. quikimpressions.com And, Nicole Venables of Ruby Begonia Hair Studio Beauty and Products for tresses like the stars she coifs, and regular peoples, like me. I love my hair, and I loves Nicole. http://www.rubybegoniahairstudio.com/ Her fabulous Ruby Begonia Products can be purchased and shipped from http://www.frendsbeauty.com
News: What’s that thing in the sky? All of ToS is available in Raid Finder. Summer Games are out on Overwatch! Sharding? Plea to Blizz to remove sharding on NA RP servers temporarily. Approved in two hours? Yes, true - because RP peeps wanted no sharding. Still no release date for 7.3 - unlikely to happen before Gamescon in Germany (August 22) Speculation it may not release until as late as October A few more bans for selling raids/progression for RL money - Blizzard clear selling them for in-game gold is absolutely not a violation Mythic Dungeon Invitational: Clears done; 7 of top 10 clears completed by Europe teams. 2 Americas and 1 APAC (and 6 out of 10 were Horde ppbbbbttt :D ) Most popular dungeons: Vault of the Wardens (8/10), Halls of Valor (7/10), Neltharion’s lair (7/10), Black Rook Hold (6/10) Court of Stars (6/10 teams) and Eye of Aszhara (6/10) Rules deliberately vague on criteria for getting in - timing is just one factor Mike: Lunch with Thorn and Thyst Lots of thoughts on playing the priest (Disc, Shadow) Ren: Switched mains in Diablo 3 Necro: lot of fun, tired of getting killed a lot Crusader: “good enough” DPS and don’t have to worry about getting blown up so much - running Blessed Hammer build with the Seeker of Light set Rep-a-palooza didn’t happen, but at least finished exalted with Darkmoon Faire
The Underground Experience Presents A Special Repeat Broadcast For Black History Month! “The Power Of Black Music & Advocacy” Series # 7 Featuring JR PERRY Join us as we discuss Civil Rights & The Sickle Cell Phenomenon…..With a Musical Rainbow! Musical Artists: JR Perry, Chopp Devize, Follow You Home, Uncle Earl & The Underground Experience, D-Most ft. Dae […] The post “The Power Of Black Music & Advocacy” Series # 7 Featuring JR PERRY! appeared first on The Uncle Earl.
The Underground Experience Presents Mr. JR Perry: Civil Rights & The Sickle Cell Phenomenon! Musical Artists Include: Chopp Devize, Follow You Home, KG & The Storytellers, David Panozzo, Uncle Earl, Third Rail, Roach Killa, Pamela Threats, Oaxaca Kahn, D-Most ft. Dae Write, Kareem McFadden, The Sounds Of Blackness & JR Perry! Air Date: 7/30/12 Broadcast […] The post Mr. JR Perry: Civil Rights & The Sickle Cell Phenomenon! appeared first on The Uncle Earl.
The Underground Experience Presents Mr. JR Perry: Civil Rights & The Sickle Cell Phenomenon! Musical Artists Include: Chopp Devize, Follow You Home, KG & The Storytellers, David Panozzo, Uncle Earl, Third Rail, Roach Killa, Pamela Threats, Oaxaca Kahn, D-Most ft. Dae Write, Kareem McFadden, The Sounds Of Blackness & JR Perry! Air Date: 7/30/12 Broadcast # 131A Duration: 1:00:30 The post Mr. JR Perry: Civil Rights & The Sickle Cell Phenomenon! appeared first on The Uncle Earl.
Let us begin Brewster podcast. How are you? This is Yuichiro. And today's commentator is Motoki Sakurai. Hi, this is Motoki. Motoki, What kind of topic have you chosen this week? Well. it has been about three months since the march 11th earthquake occurred. Some reconstructing programs have already started. Also a lot of volunteer workers have been to Tohoku to help Tohoku people. Even now we need more effort. There are our Japanese people's thoughts. However, how about other countries? I would like to know ideas what people from abroad think of. Tanks sir. So today's topic is about The March 11th earthquake. Not only Japanese people have experienced such a huge disaster. Then let us consider what the people from overseas feel. We have interviewed people who come from out of Japan and we could get other points of view. First, Motoki who did you asked? I asked a guy whose name is David. O.K. Let's get start it. M: Hi, I'm going to ask you about the earthquake on March 11th. Have you ever experienced disaster like earthquake on March 11th? D: No, not at all. life experience some very strong hurricanes and big snow storms but nothing, nothing the stronger and powerful as March 11th earthquake. M: What was your reaction to March 11th? D: When I was at home in my recording studio, and my initial felling like, is my house gonna be OK?? And I just went outside calmly and chatted with the neighbors. We all just stood around waiting for the end. M: Do your family, for example your parents, brothers or cousins live in Japan? D: No, I don't have any family in Japan. M: Where do they live, and could you contact them soon after the earthquake? D: Most of my friends and family live back in east coast Canada and once internet came back on a few hours later I was able to contact everybody through facebook or skype, so I had no problem to contact with people. M: This is the last question. What did you think about the reaction of the Japanese people around you at the moment and after the earthquake? D: At the moment of the earthquake, I went outside, and my neighbors were outside, everybody was, you know, laughing, and kind of like what this is a big earthquake. But we all kind of knew that somewhere something bad happened, but we didn't know what until a few hours later when we can watch TV. And also everyone because power ____ everybody helped each other, we had radio on, we shared information. After that, response to the actual disaster area was, you know, it was overwhelming just to watch on TV and _______. Generally, Japanese people really help and take care of each other I think, you know, did the best, stay calm, you know, so quite good I think. But, a mixture of emotions most like what people are really hanging on there and fighting hard and well a lot of people died, you know so, both of good and bad. It's good? Positive feeling about Japanese people in general. Hmm.. That was my interview, so Yuichiro how about you? Who did you ask? I've asked Peter who works at ELP. O.K. Let's listen to it. Y: Hi. Thank you for coming. P: Sure. Y: First of all, I would like to know about you. P: O.K. Y: So, May I have your name? P: My name is Peter. Y: And, Where are you from? P: I’m from the west coast of the United States. Y: Ah, so how long have you been in Japan? P: I’ve been in Japan since 1985, so 26 years now. Y: So long! P: Yes. Y: What’s your job? P: I’m a teacher here in ELP. Y: Today I would like to interview about the March 11th earthquake. So what did you think of the reaction of Japanese people around you at the moment of the earthquake or after two weeks or three weeks?