Podcast appearances and mentions of mary ayers

How long does tapping take to work? It's one of the most common questions I get, and the answer is the most unsatisfying one in coaching: it depends. In this post I'll show you why that's actually the most useful answer I can give you, and how to use it. TL;DR: How Long Tapping Takes to Work How long tapping takes to work depends on the issue you're tapping on and how you define success. A 90-second round can shift a present-moment frustration, while a 35-year-old limiting belief usually takes repeated sessions over time. Happiness equals outcome divided by expectation. The same result feels like a miracle or a failure depending on what you expected walking in. You can measure tapping success three ways: frequency (how often the issue shows up), duration (how long it sticks with you), and intensity (how strong it feels). Improvement in any one of the three is a real win. The goal of tapping is to make it better, not to make it perfect. Better is often enough to change the rest of your day. Why "How Long Does Tapping Take to Work?" Is the Wrong Question How long tapping takes to work is the wrong question because it assumes there's one answer that applies to every issue and every person. There isn't. The better question is: what does one step better look like right now? Years ago I had a one-on-one session with a friend whose husband had been telling her for months that she needed to tap with me. I don't think she really wanted to be there. I think she wanted him to stop bringing it up. There was natural resistance at the start of the session, but within fifteen minutes we had surfaced a deep, specific issue and tapped through a round on it. At the end of that round, she was disappointed. Not because nothing had happened. She was disappointed because the issue wasn't completely healed yet. In fifteen minutes she had moved from resistant to disappointed because the work wasn't fast enough. That's the trap built into the question. We're asking how long until the issue is gone, when the more useful question is how much better do I feel right now than I felt three minutes ago. Happiness Equals Outcome Divided by Expectation Happiness equals outcome divided by expectation. The way you respond to any result is determined less by the result itself and more by what you expected walking in. Imagine I tell you at the end of the day that I got six things done. Was that a good day or a bad day? It depends. If I sat down this morning wanting to get eight things done, I'm disappointed. If I sat down wanting to get four things done, I'm doing backflips on my way out of the office. Same six things. Completely different experience. The same dynamic shows up every time we use a transformational tool. If you expect a single round of tapping to permanently resolve a long-standing issue, almost any real result will feel like a failure. If you expect tapping to make the next ten minutes a little easier, the same result feels like a win. This is why unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage your tapping progress even when the work itself is going well. Key Insight: "Happiness is outcome divided by expectation. The way I respond to something is based on how I expect it to work out." Why No Two Tapping Issues Heal at the Same Rate No two tapping issues heal at the same rate, even when they look identical on the surface. The tool is the same. The timeline almost never is. There's a real difference between me being frustrated in this moment and not wanting to be frustrated, and me dealing with a limiting belief I've carried for the last 35 years. The toolset is exactly the same. The rate at which those two things shift will be completely different. The same is true even when the symptom is identical. I can have pain in my right shoulder because I slept on it wrong, and I can have pain in my right shoulder because I was in a car accident and tore a muscle. Same pain, same location, same intensity on a 0 to 10 scale. The cause is different, so the time it takes to resolve is different. Every time you sit down to tap, recognize this: the goal is to make it better. Not to make it perfect, not to make it gone, but to make it better. That's a frame I keep coming back to with clients, and it's the same spirit behind tapping to embrace progress, not perfection. The Costa Rica Story: When Better Looks Like Failure Almost 20 years ago, brand new to tapping, I was in a coffee shop in Costa Rica when four other Americans walked in and sat down nearby. I struck up a conversation and one of them mentioned he had just tweaked his shoulder zip-lining through the jungle. I was at the stage of my tapping life where I was running everyone I met over with my enthusiasm. So I said, "Let me show you this amazing thing." I had him tap through Gary Craig's basic EFT recipe. Before we started I asked him, 0 to 10, how big is the pain? He said six. We tapped. I asked again. He said four. In my head, my immediate reaction was: it failed. He and his three friends, on the other hand, said, "Whoa, that's amazing." Because it was. Ninety seconds of tapping had taken a third of his pain away on his subjective measure. He had more movement in his shoulder. The rest of his day was going to be better. My expectation was healed. He experienced better. That's the gap this whole post is trying to close. Key Insight: "When I'm tapping, I live in the ERs. Not the emergency room. Better, easier, gentler, calmer." The Three Measures of Tapping Success: Frequency, Duration, Intensity There are three ways to measure whether tapping is working: frequency, duration, and intensity. Any one of them moving in the right direction counts as real progress. I learned this framework from my friend Mary Ayers, and it has changed how I evaluate every session. Frequency is how often the issue shows up. Years ago a client said to me, "Gene, it's great. I'm only having seizures six days a week." For me, six days a week of seizures sounds like a horror show. For her it meant one day a week she was emotionally and physically clear enough to get everything done. The frequency went down by one day, and that one day was her life expanding. Frequency can be the hardest of the three to measure, because if a behavior is still happening at all, you tend to notice the times it happens more than the times it doesn't. If you're trying to reduce how often you doom-scroll to distract yourself, going from ten times a week to five times a week still feels like ten because you're still doing it. When you're tracking frequency, write it down. Duration is how long the discomfort sticks with you after it shows up. Three times in my work I've had legal action threatened against me by clients. One of those times the client was blaming me for their frozen pipes, so you can judge the seriousness for yourself. The first time it happened, it threw me off and kept me emotional for about 36 hours. The second time, it impacted me for the rest of the day. The third time, it took me about 45 minutes to settle. Same kind of event, same intensity in the moment, same response required (call my lawyer, take care of myself). What changed was how long the emotional charge stayed in my body. That's duration, and it's a real measure of progress. Intensity is how strong the response is when it happens. I can be angry about something my neighbor does, or I can be frustrated about the same thing. In both cases I'm having an emotional response, but I'm far less likely to make a harsh, rash, unuseful choice when I'm frustrated than when I'm angry. Same trigger, smaller response. That's intensity going down. If you've ever found the standard 0 to 10 rating frustrating or unhelpful, this three-part frame is a useful alternative. I've written more about that in what to do when the SUD scale doesn't work for you. When Tapping Changes You Without Changing the Situation Tapping often makes things better even when the underlying situation hasn't changed at all. That's not a failure of tapping. That's tapping doing exactly what it's designed to do. Picture this. You're facing real financial pressure and you're overwhelmed by it. You sit down and tap on the overwhelm. Ten minutes later you feel calmer. The financial pressure is still there. Nothing about the bank account has changed. But you can now think clearly about the problem, see options you couldn't see before, and make deliberate choices instead of panicked ones. That's a win, and it's the kind of win we usually undervalue. The situation didn't change, but your relationship to the situation did, and from that calmer place you have actual capacity to act. This is exactly the dynamic at work in tapping for overwhelm when you have too much on your plate. You're not making the to-do list shorter. You're making yourself bigger than the list. The same logic applies to in-the-moment frustration. When something goes wrong at my desk and I get frustrated, I don't need to turn the frustration completely off in order to keep working. I need to turn it down enough that I can focus. There might be residual frustration sitting in the background. That's fine. If 90 seconds of tapping produces an hour of effective work, I'll make that trade every day of the week. The "One Step Better" Approach to Every Tapping Session The most useful question to ask before any tapping session is: what does one step better look like right now? Then use the tool to see if you can get there. If you do, ask the same question again. That iteration is the whole game. It's not how long until this is resolved. It's what does the next small improvement feel like in my body, and can I get there from where I am? Then, from that new place, what does the next one feel like? This is why the work of tapping looks less like a single grand transformation and more like a series of small, real improvements stacked over time. Each one is its own win. Together they become the change you were looking for. The principle that the key to tapping success is more than the right words lives right here: success is less about scripting the perfect setup statement and more about being honest about what better looks like and going after it one increment at a time. Key Insight: "Ask yourself what one step better feels like. Use the tool to see if you can achieve that. Then ask again. That's the work." How to Set Realistic Expectations Before You Tap Setting realistic expectations before you tap is the single most useful thing you can do to make tapping feel like it's working. Before you start a round, answer three quick questions in your head. First, what is one step better for this issue? Not healed, not gone, but better. Name it specifically. "I want to be able to read the email without my chest tightening." "I want to feel calm enough to call my mom back." Second, which of the three measures matters most here? Are you trying to reduce how often this shows up, how long it sticks with you, or how intense it gets? Different issues respond to different measures, and naming the one you care about gives you something concrete to check at the end. Third, what would you accept as a real win? If a 33% reduction in intensity would let you finish what you need to finish today, that's a real win. Decide that before you tap, not after. Otherwise the part of you that wants everything healed in one round will quietly call any real progress a failure. Frequently Asked Questions How long does tapping take to work on anxiety? Tapping can reduce acute anxiety within 90 seconds to a few minutes in many cases, especially when the anxiety is tied to a specific, present-moment trigger. Long-standing anxiety patterns tied to deeper beliefs or past experiences usually take repeated sessions over weeks or months to shift in a lasting way. Why isn't my tapping working? Tapping often is working, but you're measuring it against the wrong yardstick. If you expect a single round to permanently resolve a long-standing issue, almost any real result will feel like failure. Try measuring frequency, duration, and intensity separately, and check whether any one of them is improving even slightly. How many rounds of tapping should I do on one issue? Do as many rounds as it takes to get one step better, then reassess. Some issues shift in a single round. Others need many rounds over multiple sessions. The right number is whatever moves the issue one increment in the direction you want, then you decide whether to keep going. What does it mean if I feel worse after tapping? Feeling worse after tapping usually means you've made contact with something the body had been keeping out of awareness, not that the tapping went wrong. The discomfort is information. Continue tapping on what's now showing up, or pause and come back to it when you have more space. Is tapping supposed to remove the problem completely? Tapping is designed to make things better, not necessarily to remove the issue completely. Sometimes "better" means the external situation changes. More often it means your emotional response to the situation changes enough that you can think, act, and make choices from a calmer place. How do I know if tapping is working long-term? Look at frequency, duration, and intensity over weeks and months, not minutes. Is the issue showing up less often, sticking with you for less time, or hitting with less force when it does show up? Any one of those moving in the right direction is real, durable progress. How long does tapping take to work on chronic pain? Tapping can reduce chronic pain intensity within a single session, sometimes substantially, but lasting change in chronic pain usually involves ongoing tapping practice combined with addressing the emotional and stress components that maintain the pain. Expect incremental progress measured over weeks, not a single permanent fix.

Confusingly, similar acronyms describe two very different conditions of the lower GI tract: IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) and IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). IBD is often treated with biologic medical therapies that are infused, injected, or taken orally. IBS, or irritable bowel syndrome, is a diagnosis of exclusion, and treatment includes a different set of medication options and dietary advice. Experts from the Digestive Diseases Center Benjamin Levy, MD, and Mary Ayers, RN, offer their insights into treating IBD and IBS... and how the two conditions may even overlap. The GI Research Foundation was able to produce this podcast with a sponsorship from Metro Infusion Center. To access other podcast episodes and learn more about research to treat, prevent and cure digestive diseases, please visit www.giresearchfoundation.org.

One of my favorite parts of the tapping community is people's willingness to share their experience and expertise. A few months ago I sent an email to a number of practitioners I admire and asked them if they would be willing to share their wisdom about the following: What lessons have clients taught you about healing? What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process? If you were to start your own healing journey over again, what would you do differently? What is one thing you wish your clients believed about themselves? What is one thing you wish your clients believed about the healing process? I received some wonderful responses from Kim D'Eramo, Alan Davidson, Jondi Whitis, Robin Bilazarian, Kris Ferraro, Gwyneth Moss, Deborah D Miller, Jake Khym, Tania A Prince, Ange Finn, Nancy Forester, Peta Stapleton, Julie Schiffman, Steve Wells, and Mary Ayers. You can read all their answers (and soak up their wisdom) right here. Reading through all of these amazing answers gave me the opportunity to reflect on those questions myself. In this week's podcast I share my own answers to the five questions. These lessons are just a taste of what I will be teaching in my Mastering the Art of Delivery training. If you join us, you will get more out of your tapping while working with clients and while tapping on your own. Use the coupon code "podcast" for 50% off the registration. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Mary Ayers joins the series to give us a great overview of EFT tapping, how you can do it at home, and why it is a great strategy for relieving stress during the pandemic.   Mary Ayers PhD., is internationally recognized as an EFT/Tapping Practitioner, author and speaker who specializes in helping professional woman replace their fear and anxiety with self confidence For more than 30 years, Mary has worked with thousands of clients guiding them to identify core issues and release old pattern of anxiety that can get in the way of a thriving career and then teaches them how to install the inner resources that lead to happiness, contentment, and success.Mary's professional background includes over three decades as a licensed psychotherapist, as well as coaching with the Anthony Robbins Organization for five years. She is the creator of The Tapping Solution For Anxiety Relief and is a featured presenter at annual Tapping World Summit. You can learn more about Mary at TapIntoAction.com

I am incredibly honored to have Jim and Mary Ayers on the show. They are from my county of birth - Rutherford County in North Carolina. Their mom had been so generous with me and my siblings. When I introduce you to Jim and Mary Ayers, I introduce you to a family that sowed seeds of the gospel into me and into our family. And to now take them to a mission trip in India is really one of the highlights of my career. Jim and Mary are living proof that senior adults don’t stop living. And that age does not stop you from going where God leads you.

Support the podcast! With some issues measuring our success is a simple task. For example, after going to the gym four times a week for a few months I can measure how much stronger I am by how much weight I can now lift compared with when I started. But not all types of transformation are as easy to track, particularly for issues and responses that are incrementally changing over time. For example, how could you measure more confidence or less anger? In this conversation Mary Ayers and I talk about how we can measure our progress through the lenses of three different characteristics of the issue that are all measurable. If you are tapping on an issue over the course of multiple tapping sessions, then understanding this is a must. First, it will help you to understand what is working so that you can continue to do it. Second, it will identify the areas where you need to try a different approach. Finally, seeing the progress that is often missed will help you to gain momentum in your transformational work. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora Guest: Dr. Mary Ayers Contact: web @ TapIntoAction.com; web radio @ The Chickenshits Guide to Success; facebook @ Tap Into Action About Mary: Dr. Mary Ayers knows how to get people un-stuck! With her years of experience as a therapist and a coach, you won't find the typical or ordinary coaching techniques in her programs. When it comes to taking action, she pulls out all the stops – delving deep to find those hidden fears and limiting beliefs. Known for her UNconventional, often “off the wall” methods, she will get you moving towards your goals without bullying, shaming or "pushing through the fear". With over 27 years in the Human Development field, her accomplishments include 5 years as a coach with the Anthony Robbins Organization, EFT Expert on The Tapping World Summit, and Host of the radio show "The Chickenshit's Guide to Success".

Many people hop on the ‘action’ train by making long lists of tasks that need to be done. The problem is often times those lists trigger feelings of overwhelm and rebellion. There is another way! On this show Dr. Mary Ayers will show you what needs to happen to create long-term success, plus how to tap past obstacles.

To play the game of having a bigger life, you’ve got to find a way to get in it, then you have to find a way to do it long enough that you see results. Sure we know it makes sense….but how do you do it? On this show Dr. Mary Ayers will give sound ideas to get you in the game, and then show you how tapping will help you stay in the game. Dr. Mary Ayers brings with her over 30 years as an accomplished Licensed Therapist, Action Coach, Author and top EFT/Tapping expert.    Take advantage of Mary’s offer of a FREE 30-minute consultation to see how you can bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be! To set one up email her at Mary@tapintoaction.com

Are you motivated to do something or not to do something – that is the question? On this show, Dr. Mary Ayers takes a deeper look at motivation and how it impacts our actions (or lack of actions!). She’ll offer up some powerful questions to help you explore what gets in the way of taking action and get you tapping to clear those blocks.

How do you take action when the voice inside is saying a big NO?  In part one of this series, Moving From Fear into Action, Dr. Mary Ayers will show you how to tap on those resistant voices in your head, opeing up space to take a small step forward.

Has this ever happened to you? You wake up one morning and you feel like you can't face the day, you can't remember feeling confident, sure, strong, safe, and all you want to do is run away and hide?  What happened to the strong and confident person you were just yesterday?  And more importantly, how do you find yourself again?  Join Dr. Mary Ayers, as she shows you how to tap yourself back to confidence.

Have you ever tried to arm-wrestle a deeply ingrained fear? Totally impossible? Oh you know it. ‘Fake it 'til you make it' works totally awesome for surface fears that exist because you're just stepping out of your comfort zone and merely need to get your bearings in a new space. But when you've got a […] The post [Ep. 42] How NOT to Bully Fear with Dr. Mary Ayers, PhD. appeared first on The Conscious Entrepreneur.

I interview Dr. Mary Ayers, PhD and we discuss together a topic we can all relate to : “not feeling that you belong”. We discuss where it comes from, how to get rid of it, and also guides you through some EFT tapping to lessen that feeling that you don’t belong. You will feel better by the end of this episode.   Expert's show notes page (www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/mary/) Contact me directly: www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/contact/ Warm regards,Sebastiaan van der Schrier www.social-anxiety-solutions.com

(At least here in America) one of the most common pieces of advice you’ll hear for overcoming fear is to "just grit your teeth and fight your way through it!" That advice is plain silly! Fear is not something we should simply muscle through. Instead, it is a primitive emotion that does everything it can to keep us safe. This week I have a conversation with Dr. Mary Ayers who was in exactly that situation. She had to do something that scared her and was told by those around her that she just had to overcome the fear and get on with it. She decided to take another path. She faced the fear head on, figured out why it was there, and removed it. Not only does Mary share her own experience of transforming fear, she shares how she did it AND how you can do it too. Guest: Dr. Mary Ayers Contact: web @ TapIntoAction.com; web radio @ The Chickenshits Guide to Success; facebook @ Tap Into Action About Mary: Dr. Mary Ayers knows how to get people un-stuck! With her years of experience as a therapist and a coach, you won't find the typical or ordinary coaching techniques in her programs. When it comes to taking action, she pulls out all the stops – delving deep to find those hidden fears and limiting beliefs. Known for her UNconventional, often “off the wall” methods, she will get you moving towards your goals without bullying, shaming or "pushing through the fear". With over 27 years in the Human Development field, her accomplishments include 5 years as a coach with the Anthony Robbins Organization, EFT Expert on The Tapping World Summit, and Host of the radio show "The Chickenshits Guide to Success".

Have you ever felt like you were a “chicken” when it comes to making your dreams come true? Has fear been a constant presence in your life? We all have experienced an extent of fear in our lives and know the effects it can have on our decisions and our happiness. Listen to this interview […] The post TS 027 Being a Successful “Chicken” with Mary Ayers appeared first on .