Alternative To Rehab

In this episode we take the idea of transcendence and open up what it means, how it relates to the idea of overcoming that we get from the Bible, and what it might mean for your progress, development and recovery. The Bible says that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord is an overcomer, but some Christians don't always feel this way. Eseially when things don't go well, or they are disappointed with themselves. This episode shows the way towards contentment and growth following the Biblical approach. 

Following a trip to the William Wilberforce Museum I wanted to discuss the idea of rights and responsibiities from a Christian perspective. I'm including the subject of slavery as well as some of the consequences of getting this balance wrong. This is not the final word on this subject, but maybe a starting point for you to consider these complex questions. Below i a link to the Wilberforce story https://youtu.be/-9xAspR_9Yw?si=oAvydKHr_BbNDIlg

In this episode we take a look at where and when personal responsibility should take place over deendency on God. Jesus is our Lord and Saviour. He's both, not just one or the other. We ask the question, have you got the balance right? Has your Church?  We also offer a few tips on how to grow towards the correct balance point. I really hope you get a lot from this. If you want further information on this topic, pleas contact me on dave@buildingrecovery.org

In this episode I am reading from my new, soon to be published book "I'm a Christian, so why am I still..." This is a section from the final Chapter, chapter 12. In this chapter we are looking at how to personalise this approach, as well as some tips for making progress, and some important methods going forward. I then speak about the ideas in the chapter and in the book generally. I do hope you have got a lot from listening to these readings. There will be an ebook as well as a hard copy from all good booksellers shortly. If you want to support the channel further, I will be producing an audio book, available to my patreon subscribers at https://www.patreon.com/BuildingRecovery

One of the more common mistakes I see in Christians of all levels of experience is not making a clear enough distinction between salvation as an event and transformation as a process. In my work I have a saying "God does the healing and we do the recovery". In this episode you will hear how these things are different and how not making that clear distinction can lead to major difficulties in your progress. Than you for taking the time to listen to this. Please subscribe for notification of new episodes.

What is your expectation of life? When so many modern messages are telling you that you should be having a care free, exciting life without any problems, it's understandable that you may be disappointed with your life and what you can achieve. In this episode we take a look at what the Bible says about this life and what to expect. having lined ourselves up with the truth, it will become a lot easier to manage our lives and to make progress. There are three steps to this idea and once you have digested them all, you will be better equipped to face the issues in your life, even managing to turn these things into learning experiences. if you have any questions or need further help, please email info@davecoopercounselling.org.uk

In this Chapter I share some experiences from my own journey of recovery and development, particularly about the effect of this approach on both my personal experience, as well as my expereince as a therapist. It amazes me every time I work with someone in this way. To see the transformation of experience every time someone is brave enough to begin the work of recovery. I hope that listening to some of my experience as I developed my skill and understanding as a therapist over the past 25 years, you will be encouraged to begin your own journey of learning and development along Biblical lines.

In this next episode in the series "My New Book" we have an excerpt from Chapter Ten, which is the first time the idea of connecting what Jesus actually did (discipling) with your recovery process (inner discipling).  In this exerpt you will begin to see how to translate what you read in the Gospels to actual practice in your spiritual progress and addiction recovery. If you want more instruction here is a link to my youtube channel. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAsb75VHrRCMWT0tK9u0tGQ

Reading from the ninth Chapter of the book I find myself talking more about the important aspects of this idea. What is it like to try to put this stuff into practice? This offered me the opportunity to talk some more about the sort of difficulties I see people facing all the time. Ths like "if I don't fight this thing, it will overwhelm me!" And "How can I fkeep forgiving myself so easily?" Please bear with some of these difficulties as all will become clear as part of the practice. As you learn more and more about the Biblical wisdom of who you are and how you have been designed, you will benefit tremendously from this approach. Leave any comments you have and I will respond. Here is my you tube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAsb75VHrRCMWT0tK9u0tGQ  

In this episode I am reading from Chapter Eight of my new book. This chapter is all about putting the ideas into practice. Turning the theory into a method. This is the first step of that process and it includes a very important Biblical idea, the upper room. You have your own upper room, and you can internalise this room in the same way you are learning to internalise the other ideas covered in previous chapters.  Remember, this is not an audio book, I am not reading the whole chapters. Just enough to help you understand and consider the ideas in the book.

In this chapter I am reading about the first steps in learning about 'inner disciling' as an effective method of personal spiritul growth. You may be shocked to hear how much our culture has taught us to 'blend' everything about us into one thing. But the Bible dosesn't say that! The Bible says you are complicated and multifaceted (just like God). Don't take my word for it, study Romans Chapter five through eight and see if you can find any mention of Satan. Paul is helping us nderstand OUR sinful nature, and Jesus showed us a way to work with it. This has become known in my book as 'inner discipling'. It is Jesus own way forwards and he left it for us to learn from and practice.

One of the main questions I get when teaching this Biblical approach is "how do I know when I am in my authentic state"? In this episode we take a look at what Jesus teaches about this, how to understand it, and how to relate it to the Kingdom of God. This episode is a supplement to the episode on 'Everything starts with your state'. So maybe check that out first. Once you understand the primacy of your state in the context of your progress, then this episode will make more sense to you. Blessings and I hope you get a lot from this. Leave me a message if you want your church or charity to get involved with this approach. We can set up training days for you, online or meeting together. www.buildingrecovery.org

Here is an interview with a client I have been working with over the last two years. It includes a section on what the issue was and what this clint had tried. It also includes what was challenging and different about this approach. Finally, we talk about what is happening now and some of the exciting things in the future. This would be useful for anyone considering trying this approach. Especially if you think you have tried all the alternatives! This is not a medical approach, so it's not based on psychology or psychiatry. It is based on neuroscience and the advances that have been made recently in our understanding of the human condition. I hope you get a lot from this but if you want to discuss any of these ideas further, send me an email to info@davecoopercounselling.org.uk. I offer a free assessment session. 

In this excerpt we are entering the main idea of the book and its method. Inner Discipling is the idea of taking Jesus' work with the Disciples and reproducing this teaching internally.  I am also touching on the therapy method of growth. It's a process I have used for many years and helps us make a good start on the progress we want to make.

So here we are at the heart of this approach! It is at this stage that we begin the real journey! I am reading from another section of the book and offer an exercise that I often use with my clients. Remember to be patient with yourself as you try this. It is very typical for people to revert back to the medical model when they start. This is because we are saturated in this iew of ourselves and it is often the only way we can think of making sense of ourselves. Don't worry! This is a journey and you ahave made a start.

In this section I am reading from the last part of the book before we get into the main method. So there is a lot of emphasis on the relationship with yourself. Unless we get the relationship with ourselves right, we cannot hope to create the type of inner harmony needed to make spiritual progress. Whatever your issues, making progress in your inner life will help you to outgrow them. 

In this section of the book, I am looking at the contrast between how the medical model defimes us, and who the Bible says we are. You may be shocked to find, not only how much of your thinking about yourself is based on mans wisdom, but how much of these ideas have got into the Churches teaching. Never before have we had the tools that neuroscience offers us. It is clear to me that in this way science is now catching up with the Bible by proving what the Bible says about us. That we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that we are Gods masterpiece.

In this third session, I am reading from the main body of the book which covers the dysfunctional pattern that I see every day in my work. The same pattern that Jesus was talking about in Luke 15, the famous Parable of the Lost Son. It's a long episode so I don't add much to the reading, except to underline things from my own experience and to highlight the difference between the Biblical approach and the Medical approach. Hope you get something from it. You will be able to preorder the Book early in the New Year.

Here is the second episode in the series 'My New Book' which gives me an opportunity to introduce the book as well as speak to some of the ideas covered by the content. In this eposode we are looking at making a clear distinction between healing - which comes from God, and recovering or growing - which comes from you! There are also a few things that might just challenge you as a Christian and what you have been taught. Enjoy!

In this new series I am reading from a copy of my new book. The working title is 'I'm a Christian, so why am i still...'. I want you to add your own ending to this title. If there are still things that irritate you about yourself, and this doesn't have to be outright addiction or dependence! Then this book will be for you. We hope to make this book available in the Spring of 2023 but, until then, I wll be reading from it and speaking to some of the ideas. Enjoy!

I've written a post on this but thought that some would prefer the audio! So here is a podcast based on some of the findings of neuroscientists recently. Namely that your consciouseness could not have come from your brain! Of course our main interest is in how can we use the observer position and consciousness to make progress. Here is a link to the article. https://neurosciencenews.com/physics-consciousness-21222/ 

There are other episodes which offer a more basic description of this method but, in revisiting the idea I am taking a deeper dive into the ideas around this method and what makes it so effective.  I looking at awareness and how precious a gift it is I want to go beyond the basic ideas of self awareness of what we are thinking and feeling to include the idea of relational self awareness, encouraging you to ask the question "what is it like to be around me"?

In this episode I interview Dave A who has been using the A2R method for about a year now. We look at this background and upbringing as well as the things he tried before discovering the A2R approach.  We then look at the difference he has found in using this approach and why he believes it has worked for him. 

In this episode I am in conversation with author, actor and long time recovered person Kate Russell! We cover a lot of ground and I always enjoy talking to someone who has managed to develop and maintain their recovery.  Kate has written about her experience of her family and all that entailed, including her own addiction and recovery. The amazon links to her books are below if you want to check out her writing. Down the Rabbit Hole: A Memoir of Abuse, Addiction and Recovery (ISBN # 979-8638199470) Voicemails from My Sister: Stories of a Schizoaffective Sibling (ISBN # 979-8541019179)

In this session I will go into more depth about why we all have a core self, how we all have parts, when they show up, what are the components and resources of the self and the difference between soft and hard triggering. I hope you get a lot out of this and are encouraged to take your learning further. I just need to add a note on the idea that this should probably not be the first podcast you listen to on this subject! Please consider listening to more basic ideas about this approach first.  All the best in your recovery Dave

Part Six of a six part series In this final session we look at the important question of 'How people are trained to know who we are' and how to take this into account on your recovery journey. And the way this is Connected with our security. We also learn how to define recovery as a balanced position of self care and care for others. How these recoveries from opposite positions are 'mirrored' in the direction they need to take. How the addict looks the worst when they are addicted but why they often look better than the reverse recovery once the recovery begins.

Part Five of a six part series In this session we look at the different forms of 'flipping' and the path towards the balanced recovered position. We also include the phenomenon of 'Becoming too well for your family'. Finally we look at the important question of the difference between medical and authentic recovery.

Part Four of this six part series. In this session we ask the importan question "If what you are saying is true, why we are not all reverse addicts"? We also look at the difference between the addict brain and the normal brain. And what I call 'The self centred escape'. Finally we look at the three positions of balance and extreme overbalance towards self care and other care.

Part Three of this six part series Finishing the last of the main effects of dysfunction in the family, vulnerability. The way we relate and are attracted to is hugely affected by dysfunction. We also look at Healthy dynamics compared to unhealthy dynamics.

Part Two of six sessions  The main effects of being placed in the reverse position. Imitation, Anxiety, Lack of self care. The overbalanced sense of responsibility

Session One of a six part series on the role reverse addiction plays in the addictie cycle. Defining the systemic perspective. Moving on from the medical model. Looking at things from a relational point of view. We all start out as reverse addicts. Reminder to look at the basics first.Introducing the idea of 'flipping'. The effect on the development of the child of dysfunction in the family and the origins of the addictive nature.

here is the final session on the observer position. Here we cover the practice and some of the things to look out for.

This is the second in a short series on the observer position. Here we cover more of the basics.

In order to practice this method you will need a clear understanding of the observer position. This is the first in a short series of three that will offer you this understanding.

The final session in this series looks at the idea of the 'exiled part'. This will elp you to understand why cerrtain things have always seemed very difficult or impossible for you. Whilst others seem to find it easy to do things like, say no, or get angry, or, ask for what you want. You may have really wondered why, for you, it was an impossible task. It was probably because you 'exiled' this part of you and trained your brain never to let it show up again! The good news is that you can retrain your brain to do just that as long as you are wiling to accept that this is areal part of you too.

In this session we look at the idea of polarised parts. Thiese parts are constructed to 'balance out' your extreme parts. They are often critical and judgemental. we also look at the 'observer position' which is essential if you are going to ensure that you make progress relating to your parts. The next and final session will be on 'exiled parts' which are parts you have tried to get rid of! 

In this session we look at how to work with your older parts. Focussing on the 'teenager' as our subject we look at the reason why our parts are different ages as well as the age appropriate method of gaining the clients trust.

This is the second in a five part series on self management. This session is all about knowing the age of your part and how to work with very young parts.

This is the first in a highly requested series on self management, by which we mean of course managing our 'core' or 'true' selves. In this first session we will cover the basics and set out our terms, although this session will assume that you have some knowledge of the approach. If this is the first time you have looked at these ideas please listen to some of the earlier stuff first! The future sessions will cover working with younger parts, working with older parts, working with polarised parts and finally, working with exiled parts. If you have any questions or requests for further sessions, please leave a comment or send me an email at info@davecoopercounselling.org.uk

Here we have part three in this series on the family car. We are now going to look at getting to work with the parts and taking the observer position. In this episode I offer you some do's and don'ts around parts work and why it is so effective.

Here is the second part of the Family Car. It follows on by helping you to understand the method and why it is so effective. This method will help you to be more harmonious in yourself rather than conflicted.  Here is a link to the Blog I mention about the trap of success and failure. https://davecoopercounselling.org.uk/blog/2019/04/08/the-trap-of-success-and-failure/

Here is the first of a two part message on one of the most important methods I use. I call it the Family car. It will help you make a start on creating inner harmony as oppose to inner conflict when trying to recover from addiction or dependence. The second half of this message will go more into the method itself. This first part makes sure that you have everything you need for the way you are going to practice this important method. Look for more on my Blog at  https://davecoopercounselling.org.uk/2883-2/

We all know about the idea of an MOT right? This is when our cars need to be checked for road worthiness! I use this idea for what I call the Moment Of Temptation. This method will help you deal with one of the most difficult moments in a dependent or addicted persons life. It is the moment when the voice in your head says that it sounds like a good idea to return to old habits and substances. This method will offer practical steps to manage yourself in these moments. As well as helping you understand what is happeneing in your brain during these moments and how they are formed.

Here is another in the series on Method. It covers one of the fundamental growth methods which I call 'say AAA' or awareness acceptance and action. If you are in early recovery and want a refreshing change from traditional approaches to your difficulty, try these methods and the systemic approach.

Here is the fourth in this short series about method. If you are in early recovery and especially if you are in lock down at the moment you will probably be feeling the pressure around your relationships. Take this opportunity to try out an exercise around the way you communicate. There are times when we all speak in code. Unlocking that code and using it to grow is what this exercise will help you with.

The third in this short series about method. I call this one the Captain and, like the others, it's deceptively simple. If you are in early recovery you will be looking for ways of maintaining and developing your well being. Here I am offering you one of the tried and trusted methods I use every day. This idea may seem simple but once you start to use it you will see how effective it is. If we accept our role as Captain we also accept that a ship has more crew members. There are all sorts of jobs need doing and this gives us a good picture of the difference between our adult and our parts. It also gives us a good image of how this might work. Have a listen and if you get something out of this you can follow the podcast and get updates.

The second in this short series of messages on method. This one helps you to assess and manage your recovery in real time. Using this metaphor helps you to prioritise your recovery and develop more 'self-care'. If you are in early recovery or are thinking about stopping, this message will help you to think about some of the challenges. Using the IFS approach, learn more about your parts and how to handle yourself in difficult moments.

Here is the first in a short series on methods I employ for people in early recovery. The scales is another simple but powerful exercise that helps to solidify improvements which will help you to develop your recovery.

I have had a few thoughts I want to share with you about how the guidelines for Coronavirus are affecting you. Especially if you are in early recovery.

Here is the second in the series about what is generally known as co-dependence. I call it 'reverse addiction' because so many things are reversed but similar to regular addiction. Hope you get a lot from this.

Here is a post regarding what to do when you are really feeling the pressure! Here is one of the best techniques for getting through that difficult moment. Below is a you tube link for the same thing on video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYJZ0WpFBLA&t=242s