Forever Faithful Marriage Secrets

Do you feel that you must communicate with your husband everyday in some way or you won't feel connected and loved? This is how I used to feel. Let me share with you why that is not a healthy way to handle deployment and how I've learned to adapt to the style of communication that works well for each particular deployment.

Communication is one of the biggest keys to growing and being strong in your marriage. But if you're really honest with yourself, are you fully communicating with your husband who you really are. I lost myself in the process of making my husband happy. I now realize the importance of being an active part of our relationship by knowing myself, knowing what I want and what I don't want and honestly sharing that with my husband. Join me as I share why it's absolutely imperative to know myself and express yourself fully to your husband to have the most fulfilling and healthy relationship that you can.

Do you think it's your responsibility to make your husband happy? Do you also believe it is your husband's responsibility to bring you joy? This way of thinking will set your marriage up for disappointment and eventually disaster. How do I know this?... because this was how I lived my life just a short month ago. Yup! I got it all wrong. Join me as I share with you where I now find my joy and peace... even when there's a storm raging on the outside.

If your honest with yourself, what would you say is the one thing that brings you the most anxiety? That one thing that keeps showing up and makes you want to throw in the towel because you just can't figure out how to ignore it and move past it. What if I told you that in order to overcome your anxiety and stress you must continue to practice and work through your it so that you get to a point where it no longer overwhelms you? Join me today as I share how God must have a sense of humor when I asked him to help me through my anxiety of packing... because HOLY SMOKES... we've done more than our fair share over the past 5 months.

Does your "to do" list grow like a weed daily, causing you to feel defeated before you can even begin your day. Sigh... I struggle with this so hard. Join me today as I share with you the toxic thought I am cancelling out of my brain and what positive truth I am choosing daily to replace it with.

Why do we often allow others to determine our self worth? I know we've all done it whether a friend or family trying to give us unsolicited advice during deployment... or even a perfect stranger at a grocery store that glares you down with such judgement that you just want to hide in a dark hole and cry. This happened to me recently with a perfect stranger while I was getting into my car, and the look he gave me brought down so much shame I could hardly breath. Join me today as I share what I learned through that very dark moment.

You've heard the saying... do something that scares you every day, but does that also include while you're husband is deployed? ABSOLUTELY!! Deployment is full of all sorts of things that scare us, knock us off our butts, and get us doing things we never imagined we'd have to do. But where would you be if you never got out and tried new scary things? Join me today in this episode as I share how whitewater rafting and deployment have helped me become more adventurous.

Seriously... what does the Great Wall of China have to do with my husband being gone? It's incredibly long, beyond exhausting, tedious, and always unpredictable. But it's so worth it when you've reached the top and you can say... "I DID IT!" Join me today in this episode as I share how the most challenging and exhausting climb EVER taught me about perseverance and triumph through the challenges of deployment.

Does the idea of having to celebrate another birthday, another anniversary, and another holiday without your husband during deployment leave you feeling sad, lonely, and depressed? Join me today on this episode as I share how we choose to celebrate these special days on our own terms and actually make it fun.

Are you feeling overwhelmingly lonely today... this week... this month? While this is perfectly normal during deployment, I have found that my loneliness is not actually caused by missing my husband. But instead is created because a circumstance that I feel I don't have control over or feel overwhelmed by. So if you can take a step back and ask yourself a question... you will be surprised to find that it's not actually loneliness that you're feeling. Listen to this episode to find out this very important question you must ask yourself when you "feel Lonely."

Do you get overwhelmed when you see the things that aren't getting done on your to do list? It seems like those lists grow more than they shrink. I found myself struggling to have a good attitude and not get anxious about my never ending list. Hop on this episode to find out what I'm doing to celebrate each of my wins rather than being upset and disappointed at my lack of being able to conquer my entire list every day.

Did you step out of bed this morning already feeling overwhelmed with all that you have to accomplish today? You are not alone! I was feeling this same way just last week, but over and over again I have found a way to start my day in peace and creativity to see beyond my "to do" list. Join me today as I share with you my secret of how I do this.

Do you have days (or weeks) where you feel sad, down, lonely, and depressed... and you just can't seem to shake it? Well then it's time for you to take a break from the chaos and have a GOOD LAUGH. Join me today as I share about the dramatic fall I took while trying to get us all to the airport for Kale's departure to Africa. Hint... it involves a suitcase and a determined wife to have a good attitude.

Which do you enjoy more... being sad, down, and depressed when thinking about your husband leaving and into the first week of his absence or having something fun to look forward to right after he leaves for deployment? I've done both, and I can tell you for sure I really don't like to being sad and depressed. Listen in as I share my two stories of (one) being sad and in tears after my husband left, and (two) having the most amazing summer ever and hardly missing him. I know... sounds crazy, right? Can you really have fun while your husband is gone? Discover my answer on this episode.

I know it's popular to have a countdown app... but before countdown apps were even a thing, I found out the hard way why counting down made deployment so much harder for me. Join me today as I share my story of pushing through a year long deployment when I was ready to have a husband home TODAY. And find out when I start my "official" countdown.... you may be surprised by how long I wait to start it.

Does this deployed life cause you deep anxieties that overwhelm your entire being? It's no wonder with all the crazy changes and responsibilities you have while your spouse is deployed. This podcast is a continuation from my last episode as I share with you about how I'm dealing with my overwhelming anxieties that crushed me in between my husband's deployments. Listen in as I share my struggles and what I'm doing to take back control of my mind and emotions.

Do you get easily anxious and overwhelmed about this deployed life? You think you have it under control . . . until you fall apart in an ugly mess on the floor. That was me the week before my husband left for his sixth deployment. You'd think I would have this deployed life down much better, but after a crazy, busy past three months of moving and transitioning into a new life, I finally just lost it in Vegas. Join me today to find out how I'm working to no longer let my anxieties control me, but I'm taking charge of my life again.

Do you get overwhelmed and anxious when preparing to send your spouse off to deployment? It's no wonder with all the little and big details of preparing him, preparing you, and wondering how you're going to do life on your own. It's important not to complicate it though, that's why I've come up with the 4 things you must do and place in your back pocket as you prepare to send him off. Join me today to find out those four important items.

Do you ever feel some days like your love isn't enough to pull your marriage out of a dark hole? Are you loving the same way you always have, but for some reason, now that you're separated from your spouse, it just isn't giving you the same confidence and reassurance that it once did? I have felt the same way, but we found a deeper love to pull us from a destructive path in our marriage. Please join me today on my podcast as I share what we did to pull out of that dark hole and find a renewed perspective and love in our marriage.

We all have our weaknesses, and there's nothing like deployment and living life without your husband to bring those faults out. Ok, I'm about to share something that is a real downfall for me with every single deployment. It is very much a work in progress. Since I can't hide it any longer, you might as well listen in as I share my personal weakness.

Do you find yourself looking at an impossible task and ask God, "How the heck am I supposed to do this on my own... while my husband is gone?" Did you know there is an actual verse in the Bible that gives you incredible power beyond this world? My heart skipped a beat when I read it this week, and I want to share it with you RIGHT NOW! Hop on and find out!

Are those that you're closest cause you feel crummy or are they lifting you up with encouragement? Do they tell you that you're being ridiculous for crying and missing your husband or do they call and check on you to make sure you're doing ok and invite you over for dinner? Speaking from someone who easily absorbs others' emotions, I discovered why it's imperative to lean on friends and family that will love me right where I'm at... even when I'm a mess (which is more often than I care to say). Join me as I share how to create a good support system.

What brings about anxiety for you? Is it having so much on your to do list, that you can't even get a load of laundry done and your kids are wearing second day underwear? I'm so tired of being so disorganized and out of control because nothing in this deployed life is consistent. So How do I make it more simple and manageable? Well I think I might just have a solution. Join me as I share my big idea.

Do you wonder why your husband is so sensitive when you snap back at him when he corrects you? Why can't he just take our apology afterwards and move on? I often think this way, and when my husband shared with me this past week just what my "snapping" at him looks like on the other side, I was shocked. Jump on and find out what surprised me so much.

Do you feel like you're entire being and world falls apart when you are in conflict with your husband? I used to think it was just me who was so "sensistive" to my husband's feelings, but I know now that most women feel this same way. Join me as I share how I have discovered how to handle conflict in our marriage without falling prey to all the negative lies in my head.

Do you feel like you're struggling and there's no improvement ahead? Do you think at times that parts of deployment should be easier (like preparing for you husband coming home) so why an my struggling so much? I was reminded that every part of this Deployed Life is a season, and it won't last forever. In this episode I share my struggle to find my joy after my husband returned home and we had to hit the ground running.

Do you often wonder why deployment is so challenging? What if those challenges could actually grow your relationships... with your husband, your kids, and with Jesus? Now that's just crazy talk, right? Come find out as I share some crazy ideas on how this is possible.

Do you feel like your busy life is stealing your joy? Hop on as I share how to set attainable goals that will bring back your joy and purpose while your husband is deployed.

Does it feel as if "just keeping busy" still leaves you feeling sad or lonely at the end of the day? Join me as I share why doing just that isn't good enough and how instead you can push through the loneliness while still staying connected with your husband.

Do you feel like you're going to explode as the end draws nearer? Why is it that the close your get to your husband's homecoming the crazier your emotions get? Join me as I share my struggle to push through the end and what helps me cope.

This is part 3 of a 3 part series about how deployment can create a deeper love in your marriage. Did you know that deployment can actually improve your trust and commitment with your spouse? I know... crazy right?! Well it might not be so crazy impossible as you think. Listen in as I share how this is possible.

This is part 2 of a 3 part series about how deployment can create a deeper love in your marriage. Do you feel distance and disconnected to your husband while he's deployed and wonder how you can experience intimacy without physical touch? It might surprise you to find out that deployment can actually improve your love and intimacy while you're separated. Join me today as I share how this is true.

How is it possible to grow deeper in love in your marriage while you're separated? I know this sounds CRAZY!! Jump on to hear how I was surprised to discover this answer when Kale was deployed for a year.

Do you feel embarrassed or awkward asking for help? Have you wondered how do you ask for help... or when is it ok to ask for help? Join me to find out what my answer to this is.

Do you feel like you're always at the end of your rope and you have far more on your plate than you can handle while your husband is deployed? Let me reassure you... 1. You are not alone, and 2. You do not have to do it alone. Praise God!! Find out what the secret is to preventing burn out while your husband is gone.

Why do we women, as moms and wives, often struggle to take care of ourselves while taking care of everyone else? Do you ever stop to realize that in your fear of not wanting to neglect your family, that in fact you might be neglecting your family by not taking care of yourself? Join me today as I share the 3 reasons we don't care for ourselves and how that actually hurts your family and marriage.

Do you find at times it's hard to process all the emotions of deployment? So do I... that's why I started journaling though it. It not only helped me push through the difficult times, but it also gave me a great idea for my first book. Listen in as I share my inspiration for writing my book.

What is it that you think your husband needs from you more than anything? You may be surprised to find out it's not so much your "love" that matters to him. Join me as I share about a very big difference between men and women when it comes to loving one another.

Do you often feel as if you have so little control over what plans happen in your life? Do you get frustrated and mad some days when the military completely changes your plans? The most predicable part of the military is that it's unpredictable. That's why we decided to let go of the things that we cannot change... like being stuck in the desert... and change the things that we can change... listen here to find out what we changed to make our life feel more in control.

Do you tell yourself, there's no way I can drive long distance without my husband? That's just too far... too scary... too stressful. Even though I don't really enjoy the driving part, traveling to see family and making our own adventures is what fuels my excitement and ability to step out and try new things on my own while my husband is gone. Join me as I share our 3 month long vacation travels during my husband's last deployment.

Do you often feel like every other wife has it together but you? This could not be further from the truth!! Do you wonder why you can't keep it together and be perfect all the time while you're doing life without your husband? We all trip and fall flat on our face. In fact, listen in to hear a very humbling story about how I forgot to include my husband in my son's birthday while he was deployed.

Do you feel ready to pull out your hair some days because your kids are driving you mad? You are not alone. I believe single parenting can be one of the most difficult parts of having your husband gone. Find out how I failed in this area while my husband was deployed for a year, and what I learned from it.

Does your child thrive on routine? Do you wonder how you can keep your child happy and on a routine while your husband is gone and then help them transition to him being home again? It can be very tricky, and yet, sometimes I believe we overthink it. Join me today as I share the simple strategies to encourage your children through the transitions of deployment.

Do you feel overwhelmed and unequipped to step into your husband's shoes while he's gone? Whether it's doing things at home that he normally takes care of or driving long distances without him, you are stronger than you think. Listen in to find out how I work to overcome my anxiety when doing big tasks on my own.

HOLY VOMIT... do you every emotionally vomit all over your husband and family because you've convinced yourself you should be able to deal with your emotions on your own? Only to discover what a crazy mess you've become? Let me share with you an intensely ugly moment I had in China after my son got sick on our tour bus.

How do you prepare for the bumps, construction, and alternate routes in the road when it comes to your marriage and preparing for deployment? Do you just go with the flow and hope for the best? Or do you freak out because you hardly know how to function without your husband? I've been there! Find out how terrible I really am at driving alone and what the heck my bad driving skills has to do with filling your tool bag for success in your marriage.

Do you find yourself holding your breath on the bigger issues that you KNOW you need to discuss with your husband, but you just want to wait until he comes home? I was feeling this way last week with some very big decisions I'm having to make. Join me as I share why it's too late to wait until he comes home to start communicating.

Does life seem to bring you a cloud of thunderstorms every day? Do you feel ready to give up when things don't go as planned? While visiting Barcelona, Spain, a few years ago, I was surprised to find laughter in the midst of a downpour. Listen in to find out what made us laugh so hard that day.

Have you had days, weeks, months, and even years where nothing seems to go as you had planned for your life in the military? Do you find yourself just asking God... "Where is your hope?" I've struggled with this question for the past 6 years. But in the midst of the continual disappointments, I realized a way to see God's goodness and blessings... even when I felt lost in the desert.

Are you frustrated and bitter towards your husband because you often have to put your career and dreams aside for his military career? Believe me, you are not alone! All military wives have struggled with this at some point in their marriage. Join me to find out what I discovered 10 years into our marriage that helped change my perspective from following my own path to seeing marriage in a whole new light.

Have you lost something that you can no longer have or you worry you may never have? Is it hard to see others have just what you know you cannot have? I struggle with this kind of jealousy. Listen in and discover how to find God's blessings in the midst of sorrow.