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Two stories from Edgar Allan Poe about the masks we wear and the work we do and the profound consequences of both. Today's stories were adapted from: "Hop-frog" by Edgar Allan Poe: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Poe%27s_Tales_of_Mystery_and_Imagination/Hop-Frog "The Oval Portrait" by Edgar Allan Poe: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Works_of_the_Late_Edgar_Allan_Poe_(1850)/Volume_1/The_Oval_Portrait
Compromise, your parenting, path, voice and what's yours:).The pit falls and beauty of true and aligned compromise vs. the ones that leave you drained and regretting actions/inactions.What's bubbling for YOU, right now?______________GOT QUESTIONS/Comments? Hop over to Spotify and leave a comment, or write me at: ariel@agreenbalancedlife.com and I'll happily respond:).Support the showAs MENTIONED in the podcast: Times are strange in the world.. and there's so much possible.. My gift for you.. is making my time more available to you during uncertain times:) I'm holding sacred space, just for my audience. What about a lift up? Space held for your story, going within, with a dash of clarity and grounding? $39 for 15 minutes of nourishing time.(click the link above) If you enjoy that session.. and want more.. You can apply that $39 spent on that connect and grounding session you experience.. to a longer session:)..:) ********************** Also, I am SOOOO proud of my husband for creating a cycling app that allows a calmer experience and space: Do you like to cycle? Mats' new app is out! Definitely click and download Cyclanow, especially if you like less busy-ness in your world!:)) _____ IMPERFECT Parenting Free parent de-stress tips:http://bit.ly/34TmARwInstagram: @Ip_parenting Tik tok @imperfectparentingariel Website:https://imperfectparenting.netWrite me: Ariel@agreenbalancedlife.com...
I'm talking with Antonio Sanchez, aka @wortwrangler — hands down the best brewery meme-maker on the internet. He's done it all in the industry from brewing, sales, marketing, and more!We're digging into:
Even though they're not really into punk rock, Michael and Taylor from Imperial Oil are pretty badass (and the title of this episode is a NOFX song that Michael somehow remembered, so we'll take it). And they're movie stars in a video from Energy Safety Canada about the 4Ds from Learning Teams, Inc.The Imperial boys are the first to tell you they aren't safety people - they're field ops guys just trying to solve some problems. Pretty fucking punk, right? Shit wasn't going the way it should, so they just figured out what would work. Not perfection, but progress. "If you just go in and do it, and you do it from a place of caring," people are going to be on board.What the hell are the 4Ds Michael and Taylor are talking about (5 if you count Provan, because he's a D for sure)? They're questions about what folks see at work that are dumb, difficult, different, or dangerous.Turns out talking to people about work does some other stuff too: like a 53% reduction in absenteeism and massive increases in time-on-tool productivity. Weird, right? Figuring out how work gets done and addressing it like an adult helps make work suck less.For a lot of people, punk rock is a catalyst for being heard, for building family, and for expressing how they feel. For the teams at Imperial, using something like the 4Ds was a catalyst, too. Sometimes, it identified some problems that looked a whole lot like the supervisors and leaders in the organization. Those are tough conversations (like how bass players and ska bands are the problem a lot of times, too), but the boys took the conversations on and did the hard yards to figure out how to make leadership better.Asking questions isn't the solution, though, and that's why you should check out the rest of the episode. Michael and Taylor have got a lot more to share about how they started learning about performance, labels, and leadership. They're pretty punk without even trying, and that's "The punkest mother fucker I ever did see. Ah hell, he's even more punk than me." Got a NOFX quote in there after all, punks. Shoulda gone for Propaghandi, since they're a Canadian band, but whatever. The Energy Safety Canada video on the 4DsThe Learning Teams, Inc. folks, home of the 4Ds, are here DISCLAIMER: You probably shouldn't take anything in this podcast too seriously. Punk Rock Safety is for entertainment only. It's definitely not a replacement for professional or legal advice, and the fair amount of piss-taking, shithousery, and general ridiculousness ought to clue you into the fact that no one - and no organization - is endorsing (or un-endorsing, if that's a thing) any products, ideas, or other things. Except NOFX. We definitely endorse them.Oh, and give your money to Punk Rock Saves Lives. They're a rad organization that works in mental health, addiction, and human rights. And they're awesome people who can use your help to keep on kicking ass at what they do.https://www.punkrocksaveslives.org/Let us know what you think at info@punkrocksafety.com or on our LinkedIn page.Merch at punkrocksafetymerch.com
WHOOOM! So what kind of kid are you? Are you the type who just hangs out at the defunct theme park? Or do you do what the magical lady with white hair says? Or do you go off on your own at find the power-swapping guy with the big jacket?We're playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.Sponsors- Shaker & Spoon, where you can $20 off your first box at shakerandspoon.com/jointhepartyFind Us Online- website: https://jointhepartypod.com- patreon: https://patreon.com/jointhepartypod- instagram: https://instagram.com/jointhepartypod- twitter: https://twitter.com/jointhepartypod- tumblr: https://jointhepartypod.tumblr.com- facebook: https://facebook.com/jointhepartypod- merch & music: http://jointhepartypod.com/merchCast & Crew- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Editor (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman- Multitude: https://multitude.productionsAbout UsJoin the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who've never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Hey friend, welcome back. In this week's solo episode, I'm sharing a bit more of my backstory and what shaped me into who I was and became. You'll hear some of the triumphs and defeats in my own life that taught me how to think, feel, and heal. With my kids away for a bit, I've had space to reflect and reset, and I wanted to bring you into that moment with me. This isn't just a personal update. It's a deeper dive into how I became the woman, coach, and creative catalyst I am today. I talk about growing up in a religious household, navigating trauma and depression, and how chronic suicidal ideation has shaped my perspective in both quiet and powerful ways. But this is not a heavy episode. It's real. It's hopeful. It's a reminder that healing isn't about erasing the past — it's about reclaiming yourself through it.
In this episode, I sit down with Freedom Life Experience client Bryce Althouse, who moved to Tbilisi, Georgia without a business plan—and ended up launching a successful in-person theater program from scratch.We talk about:Moving abroad without a safety netStarting a business without a degree or formal trainingHow Bryce found his niche through the Freedom Life ExperienceThe power of going all in, even when you're scaredWhy trusting yourself is more important than having all the answers
Learn more about Level 1 Functional Pelvic Health Practitioner programGet certified in pelvic health from the OT lens hereGrab your free AOTA approved Pelvic Health CEU course here.Learn more about my guestFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/doug.vestal.5Website: https://www.freedomofpractice.com/____________________________________________________________________________________________Pelvic OTPs United - Lindsey's off-line interactive community for $39 a month! Inside Pelvic OTPs United you'll find: Weekly group mentoring calls with Lindsey. She's doing this exclusively inside this community. These aren't your boring old Zoom calls where she is a talking head. We interact, we coach, we learn from each other. Highly curated forums. The worst is when you post a question on FB just to have it drowned out with 10 other questions that follow it. So, she's got dedicated forums on different populations, different diagnosis, different topics (including business). Hop it, post your specific question, and get the expert advice you need. More info here. Lindsey would love support you in this quiet corner off social media!
The death of Forum Culture HOP: https://www.youtube.com/@Hoplopfheil https://x.com/hoplopfheil https://www.subscribestar.com/hoplopfheil Radio Free Chicago J: https://findmyfrens.net/jburden/ Buy me a coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/j.burden Substack: https://substack.com/@jburden Patreon: https://patreon.com/Jburden GUMROAD: https://radiofreechicago.gumroad.com/l/ucduc Subscribestar: https://www.subscribestar.com/j-burden Axios: https://axios-remote-fitness-coaching.kit.com/8ebf7bacb8 ETH: 0xB06aF86d23B9304818729abfe02c07513e68Cb70 BTC: 33xLknSCeXFkpFsXRRMqYjGu43x14X1iEt
First aired June 5, 2022Somwetimes I talk to myself and then we both laugh and laugh until...someone dies. Katie takes us on a horrifying dive into the world of Doppelgangers. What would you do if you passed yourself on the street or looked into the mirror and two faces reflected back? Some famous author's have fantasized the idea of an ominous double and others have lived it...but not for long. Hop aboard the creepy train, toot-toot.Support the showStay curious!
Hop aboard the Culture Train with Asher, Kristen and their special guest Robin as they take young listeners on an immersive journey to Ipoh, Malaysia! In this colorful and educational episode, our hosts explore geology, language, and—of course—food. Discover why this vibrant city is famous for feasting and adventure! Meet Our Local Friend, Robin! • Born and raised in Ipoh, Robin shares insider secrets—from culinary tastes to cultural traditions. • He opens up about Malaysia's 135+ languages, and how locals naturally switch between Malay, English, Mandarin, Tamil, and more! • Kristen explains how Ipoh is nestled between Kuala Lumpur and Penang, surrounded by limestone hills. • Asher's super-relatable curiosity helps kids picture river valleys, caves, and temples! 2. Foodie Fun! • Ever seen muscle-y bean sprouts? Kids learn how Ipoh's mineral-rich spring water makes them fat, plump, and super juicy. • We try Bean Sprout Chicken (Nga Choy Kai)—crunchy sprouts meet tender chicken in a flavorful harmony. • And the star: Kai See Hor Fun, a silky, smooth flat noodle soup made with luxe local water—perfect for slurping (it's polite in Malaysia!). 3. Cultural Etiquette & Fun Facts • Slurping—when polite, fun, and part of the experience! • Language switching is like changing TV channels—Malaysia's linguistic magic revealed. 4. Cave Temples Teaser • Robin teases a visit to Kek Lok Tong, a secretive limestone cave temple with golden statues, peaceful gardens, and magical acoustics. Please support our mission! Website: http://culturekidsproductions.org/support ⭐ Rate & Subscribe to help us grow and reach kids around the world ⏭️ Next stop: The ARCTIC, Nigeria, Italy, and more—don't miss our upcoming Culture Train adventures!
On the latest episode of the podcast, Doug doesn't know enough about P.J. Soles' boobs to answer his cohost's questions, Jamie needs to invent a backstory for Bill Murray's character in order to make sense of most of this, and we both wanted at least one mess hall scene. Hop in your Ninja Turtles Van, ask for 'just a trim' from the military barber, and join us as we really wonder just how much humor has changed over the past 44 years as we discuss, Stripes!Stripes is a 1981 film directed by Ivan Reitman and starring Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, John Candy, Warren Oats, P.J. Soles, Sean Young, Judge Reinhold & John LarroquetteVisit our YouTube ChannelMerch on TeePublic Follow us on TwitterFollow on InstagramFind us on FacebookDoug's Schitt's Creek podcast, Schitt's & Giggles can be found here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/schitts-and-giggles-a-schitts-creek-podcast/id1490637008
Send us a textEver notice how some people can't keep their mouth shut about anything? That's exactly what this raw, unfiltered episode tackles head-on. We dive into the recent censorship of adult websites requiring ID verification and question whether this represents genuine protection or just another form of control in our increasingly surveilled digital landscape.At the core of this episode is a powerful message about personal boundaries and privacy. Why do we feel compelled to broadcast every detail of our lives? Who actually deserves access to your personal business? Using a brilliant basketball arena metaphor, we explore how certain people will join you on your journey while others merely watch from the sidelines—sometimes with motives that aren't in your best interest. This distinction becomes crucial when deciding who to let into your inner circle.The most compelling moments come through vulnerable personal stories, including a shocking revelation about a family member living a double life and a traumatic encounter with an ex-partner that resulted in physical injury. These raw experiences underscore why processing difficult truths requires time and space, and why walking away from potentially explosive situations can prevent regrettable decisions. For anyone struggling with oversharing, maintaining authentic relationships, or setting healthy boundaries, this episode offers both tough love and practical wisdom. Listen now, then ask yourself: are you letting the right people know your business?Support the show
In this week's Just Yappin' Arvy and Justin talk Jagmeet vs Drake and more randomness!www.reigncitytoys.com My Official Website + Demo Reel - https://www.justindhillon.com Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thewrestlingclassic/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thewrestlingclassic X - https://x.com/twcworldwide Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWrestlingClassic/ Articles - https://www.one37pm.com/author/justin-dhillon Limited Edition TWC Tee https://headquartersclothing.com/products/headquarters-x-the-wrestling-classic-logo-tee?_pos=1&_psq=wrestlinhg&_ss=e&_v=1.0 WWE Shop Affiliate wwe-shop.sjv.io/RGRxQv 500 Level https://www.500level.com/ Join the Discord Community https://linktr.ee/thewrestlingclassic All Episodes are on "The Wrestling Classic" Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOQOYraeFlX-xd8f3adQtTw #JustYappin #Drake #JagmeetSingh #NotSeriousBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/twc-show--4417554/support.
Il y a 10 ans, la France est devenue le premier pays à reconnaitre l'obsolescence programmée comme un délit. Les stratégies des fabricants pour réduire la durée de vie ou l'utilisation d'un téléphone ou d'une imprimante en vue de favoriser un nouvel achat sont désormais passibles de 2 ans d'emprisonnement et 300 000 euros d'amende. Depuis 2015, une amende record a été imposée au géant Apple, accusé de ralentir ses Iphones via la mise à jour des logiciels à la sortie de ses nouveaux modèles mais seulement pour «pratiques commerciales trompeuses par omission». Le délit d'obsolescence programmée n'a donc jamais vraiment appliqué. En 10 ans, d'autres dispositifs ont néanmoins été mis en place pour lutter contre la production de déchets électriques et électroniques. Par exemple, l'indice de durabilité vise à informer les consommateurs sur la fiabilité des produits et leur réparabilité. Éco-conception, réparation, seconde main sont-ils suffisants pour ralentir la production de biens de consommation ? Faut-il aller plus loin sur les sanctions et contraintes imposées aux industriels ? Et quelles responsabilités des consommateurs face à leurs achats ? Avec : • Emmanuelle Le Nagard, professeure de marketing à l'ESSEC Business School et directrice académique du programme Grande École. Elle est co-fondatrice du programme CPI (Création de produits innovants) en partenariat avec SchooLab • Laeticia Vasseur, déléguée générale et co-fondatrice de l'association HOP (halte à l'obsolescence programmée) • Nathan Hubert, co-fondateur avec Mano Silberzahn de Nobsolète, start-up à mission qui produit de petits électroménagers durables. Co-auteur de Vaincre l'obsolescence, mode d'emploi (Tana éditions, 2024). Programmation musicale : ► Ya baba - Dystinct & French Montana ► Tutti frutti - Dj Pïmp & Bejo.
Hop aboard as we sail through turquoise waters and tropical vibes! We're talking sloths and monkey mayhem in Roatán, tubing through magical caves in Belize, and a wild day at Xcaret Park in Cozumel. Back on the gorgeous new Sun Princess, we dive into delicious dining, splash around in dreamy pool retreats, unwind at The Enclave, and sip on exotic cocktails. We had an absolute blast at the Grammy party in the Princess Live theatre! Watching the show with a pumped-up crowd made it way more exciting—like a sea-going award show watch party! There was popcorn, Grammy-themed cocktails, and all the glitz you'd expect... because why not live our rockstar fantasy in the middle of the ocean?
Hop aboard as we sail through turquoise waters and tropical vibes! We're talking sloths and monkey mayhem in Roatán, tubing through magical caves in Belize, and a wild day at Xcaret Park in Cozumel. Back on the gorgeous new Sun Princess, we dive into delicious dining, splash around in dreamy pool retreats, unwind at The Enclave, and sip on exotic cocktails. We had an absolute blast at the Grammy party in the Princess Live theatre! Watching the show with a pumped-up crowd made it way more exciting—like a sea-going award show watch party! There was popcorn, Grammy-themed cocktails, and all the glitz you'd expect... because why not live our rockstar fantasy in the middle of the ocean?
What if the belonging you've been craving isn't about fitting in—but about showing up as yourself? In this episode, I'm joined by my longtime friends and collaborators Tori and Shannon for an honest, laughter-filled conversation about Camp Is In Your Heart—a one-of-a-kind gathering designed to spark connection, creativity, and community for adults. We share stories from camp, behind-the-scenes details (including the handmade swag bags), and reflect on how meaningful spaces for growth and friendship have evolved over the years. Whether you're camp-curious, looking for deeper connections, or simply craving space to feel seen and supported, this conversation reminds you that camp isn't just a weekend—it's a feeling you carry with you.
Hop into the collegiate waters with our 2025 college fantasy football targets & fades for the Tadpole Bowl! Will Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets QB Haynes King continue to put up huge totals with his dual-threat skillset? Plus, can you trust Oklahoma Sooners QB John Mateer in his jump to the SEC? Seth, Steve & Phil set sail for the new college edition of the Scott Fish Bowl (SFB) on a new episode of the podcast! Timestamps: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:58 Draft Night Out 2025 Promo 00:05:43 Front & Center: 2025 College Fantasy Football Targets & Fades 00:06:22 Tadpole Bowl Scoring & Roster Breakdown 00:10:16 Rounds No. 1–5: Lock Down Quarterback & Elite Volume 00:13:02 Rounds No. 6–15: Build Flex Depth & Find Return Value 00:15:32 Rounds 16–20: Lottery Tickets, Handcuffs & High-Variance Plays 00:17:08 Target: Demond Williams Jr. (QB, Washington) 00:20:31 Target: Haynes King (QB, Georgia Tech) 00:24:24 Target: Thomas Castellanos (QB, Florida State) 00:28:33 Target: Tre Wisner (RB, Texas) 00:33:18 Target: Jonah Coleman (RB, Washington) 00:34:54 Target: Zachariah Branch (WR, Georgia) 00:39:04 Target: Antonio Williams (WR, Clemson) 00:42:46 Kevin Concepcion (WR, Texas A&M) 00:45:25 Jamal Haynes (RB, Georgia Tech) 00:47:27 John Mateer (QB, Oklahoma) 00:50:44 Carson Beck (QB, Miami) 00:51:34 Plugs + Outro
TIC TIC TIC TIC! It's nearly midterm time and that means putting all of the eggs in the skeletal basket of Coach Bonemin. Will our super seniors get on top of The Most Important Test of High School or try not to think about it and blow off some steam?We're playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.Sponsors- Bookshop.org, where the code we shared in the midroll will get you 10% off your order!Find Us Online- website: https://jointhepartypod.com- patreon: https://patreon.com/jointhepartypod- instagram: https://instagram.com/jointhepartypod- twitter: https://twitter.com/jointhepartypod- tumblr: https://jointhepartypod.tumblr.com- facebook: https://facebook.com/jointhepartypod- merch & music: http://jointhepartypod.com/merchCast & Crew- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Editor (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman- Multitude: https://multitude.productionsAbout UsJoin the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who've never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
HoP reopens and Test Track Lighting Lane info. Matt wraps up with his final Disneyland plans. Send us a textTwitter/X Handles:Dizhappenings: https://twitter.com/dizhappeningsShaun: https://twitter.com/rankingthemouseMatt: https://twitter.com/mattpetoBefore/After Watch Music in Dizhappenings copyrighted by Audio Jungle
In this episode we're diving deep into the pivotal moment where everything can change—if you're willing to let it. Whether you've just joined Freedom Life, made a bold investment in your dream, or you're still lingering in research mode, this episode is your reminder that your dream life isn't as far off as it feels. I share how I went from making $4K in an entire year to building a multiple 6-figure business, living abroad, and qualifying for digital nomad visas around the world. It all started with one decision to go all in—even when it didn't make sense on paper.In the episode:Why your dream life feels far away (and what's actually going on in your brain)The mindset shift that changed everything for me—starting with a terrifying $6K investmentThe real reason most people stay stuck (and how to stop sabotaging your future)Four common excuses that keep you from taking the leap—and how to reframe themA heartfelt reminder: You don't have to feel “ready” to beginWant to explore our Freedom Life Programs?Hop on a call with Katti to explore our Freedom Life coaching programs. No matter when you're ready to start, we'll help you find the right fit. → Follow Move Abroad Coach on Instagram→ Follow Move Abroad Coach on FacebookLove this Episode? What to Listen to Next:#114 — After 2 Years and 100+ Episodes, Here's What I Really Know About Freedom and Moving Abroad#106 Guilt, Boundaries & Moving Abroad: How to Stand Firm in Your Big Decisions with Tiffani Barton#79 The Hidden Cost of Playing Small: Why It's Time to Bet on Yourself and Move Abroad#77 Procrastination is Pricey - Why Waiting to Move Abroad is Costing You
Velkommen til denne sommerferie-edition af Kvart i bold, hvor vi i en udsendelsesrække vil bringe nogle af de Inderside-udsendelser, som vi har bragt igennem foråret. Vi har samlet dem, så der er to udsendelser i en podcast. Dybdegående interviews med store profiler samlet i pakke, der passer perfekt til en strandtur eller en flyve eller køretur på vej ud i ferielandet.Udsendelsen her er lavet i samarbejde med vores partner Pluto TV - en streamingtjeneste med masser af klasseindhold der fuldstændig gratis. Ser du nogensinde PlutoEn anden grund til at se Pluto TV, er at Kvart i bold har en kanal på Pluto TV med mere end 60 stærke interviews med store FCK-profiler. Hop ind på Pluto TV og se udsendelser med blandt andet Niels Christian Holmstrøm, Victor Fischer, William Kvist og Jesper Grønkjær for bare at nævne nogle få.I dagens udsendelse skal du høre interview med to store personligheder, der er kæmpe FCK-fans og ambassadører for FCK. Det er forsangeren for Minds of 99, Niels Brandt og Rudi Nielsen, der er enke efter Harald Nielsen, der var med til at stifte FCK.Hvis du hellere vil se interviewsene, så kig med på vores kanal på Pluto TV: https://pluto.tv/dk/on-demand/series/65279f17939c4b001a40a690/season/2Redaktion:Stine LawaetzKsaper LarsenKasper Haugaard Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this solo episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland dives into key lessons from her recent therapy sessions, emphasizing the importance of relationships. She explores how the drive to 'win' an argument often results in everyone losing, the power of genuine apologies over hollow ones, and the significance of understanding rather than feigned confusion. Danielle also shares personal insights and practical steps to navigate relationship conflicts with compassion and kindness, while promoting her journaling tool, 'Treasured,' aimed at deepening personal growth and self-awareness. 00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Solo Cast 01:47 Lessons from Therapy Sessions: Relationship Edition 03:03 Winning or Losing in Arguments 08:30 The Power of Pausing and Reflecting 14:23 Hollow Apologies and True Acknowledgment 18:02 Understanding and the Desire to Change 23:07 Final Thoughts and Encouragement RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON'T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS” Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that's new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today. DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below. Website: https://danielleireland.com/ The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured Transcript Winning Isn't Everything: Lessons from Therapy Sessions [00:00:00] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Today. I am coming at you with a solo cast. These are so fun for me for many reasons. it's like a living, breathing journal where I can process things that are happening in my life or things that I've learned with clients and therapy sessions or just new aha things or whatever's really exciting for me. [00:00:28] I get an opportunity to put those in a place. I have been having some really juicy, juicy therapy sessions with clients over the last couple weeks, and what I've started to do, There are moments when I'm in a session with a client and I'm taking notes or I'm listening to something they're processing or something will fly outta my mouth, just improvised in the moment and I will think to myself, damn. [00:00:52] That was a tasty dish that was really interesting or that was super poignant, or I get like full body chills and I don't really know exactly what to do with the information, but I wanna put it somewhere. And so what has ended up happening over the years is I'll scribble something on a post-it note or I'll scratch something at the top of the client note to try to revisit later. [00:01:15] Sometimes in previous lives I've written them into blog forms or just brought them up with my husband over dinner thinking this. And actually little sneak peek behind the curtain. That is one of the ways, one of the first ways that the title for wrestling a walrus came to me. [00:01:34] It happened in a therapy session. I'm pretty sure I used it just as a way to iterate whatever the client was processing or experiencing in the moment. I wrote it down and it just stuck with me. And there's lots of moments like that. And so what we're gonna talk about today in this solo cast is lessons from sessions, but the ones that are really focused in on relationships. [00:01:58] So this is the lessons from Sessions, relationship edition, solocast, and. The only thing that's ever shared, in this podcast space is the. [00:02:12] Lessons that are gleaned, the takeaways that we can all find value from in the human experience, not personal anecdotes, addresses, names, identifiable characteristics, nothing like that. The point is not to out anybody at all. One that would be terribly unethical and I would lose my license for it. [00:02:32] But also just on a human level that feels ick. That feels really icky. I think that anybody who's curious about therapy or anyone who is in therapy, but wondered what it would be like in someone else's session. There is this innate curiosity of, is anyone else dealing with this too? [00:02:48] Has anyone else ever thought this also, or what do you do when you face this? That is, I think, a healthy, normal, reasonable curiosity I love that there's a place to share that. So yeah, we're gonna talk about relationships. So winning or losing in the context of relationships, particularly in an argument, if the goal is to win or if, if the goal is to not lose. [00:03:15] Depends on what side you're on. Are you righteous or are you just digging your heels in and being stubborn? if you are fighting to win or doggedly. Preventing the feeling of loss. Somebody always loses, win or lose. Somebody always loses in that type of dynamic. [00:03:33] So what happens when we do a fake apology? A hollow apology. And the last is the phrase I hear a lot. I just don't understand. I just don't understand. So we're gonna talk about each of these, how they play out in relationships, what you might be able to find value from within them, where you may be able to see yourself in them. [00:03:55] And I'll also share where I see myself in these too. though I sit in a therapist chair when I'm actually working with clients. I do my own work. I'm human too, and we're figuring this out together. So let's start with. When it's about winning or losing, you always lose. I think what gets lost in most heated exchanges, if we even peel back before the disagreement itself, there is a momentum. [00:04:26] That leads to disagreements, whether a repeated pattern, a repeated behavior or a fight that we keep having over and over and over again. It's never just isolated in that moment in time, there is a momentum that leads to it. [00:04:43] The issue in the kitchen or the fight in the bedroom, or the feverishly upset text exchange, Thing that we are fighting for is to be heard or to feel validated or for the other person to give us something. Usually something in the context of, you are right, I was wrong. [00:05:03] I see it your way. I will change and I will never do that thing that has led us to this moment that makes you uncomfortable ever, ever again. We're looking for some kind of either validation or a guarantee, and some of that makes sense and some of that is. Just not. and it's hard to know in that moment in time when we are flooded with feelings we're escalating and two people have dug their heels in. [00:05:30] It's sometimes hard to see the woods through the trees, but. What I know to be absolutely true, having worked with couples who are actively fighting in front of me, which is not fun. It's probably my least favorite experience working as a therapist. it really activates my nervous system, but also in my own fights and my own disagreements with my husband. [00:05:52] For example, when I am fighting to prove myself right at his expense, the expense of his experience or his point of view. I will lose because I'm either going to say something hurtful to win or I'm not listening, so I'm not receiving any of the information he's sharing. And also, once I'm that flooded and fighting to get my point of view across, I'm no longer in the environment, and I'm no longer sitting in front of my husband. [00:06:21] I'm sitting across an enemy and I'm a battle. And once that happens, once that mode is activated. That's when our worst qualities, our most destructive behaviors, can rise to the surface, and that erodes trust. it creates the opposite of really looking for, we're looking to be heard, one of the things that can be helpful is to even just catch that you're in it. am I trying to win or am I trying to understand something new? Am I trying to win or am I seeking to be heard? Am I trying to win? Meaning I need to be right. [00:07:04] And because in order for me to be right, they have to be wrong. Now, there are of course times where there maybe is a clear cut right and wrong, but what I'm speaking about in this context is not physical altercations or the extremes that are a little more clearly discerned. It's those. Muddy, messy, icky moments with someone that you actually care about or somebody who has a relationship that's important to you. [00:07:33] 'cause maybe it's not always a spouse or a romantic partner. it could be a friend or could be a family member. It could even be a coworker, but they're not a villain. They're not evil. But that is also sometimes a trick that our mind will play on us when we are fighting so hard to win, is we'll make the other person an enemy and we'll convince ourselves a story about them [00:07:53] Whatever our mode of operating makes sense to us, but what you can do is if you catch yourself in that place, you're like, oh, the warrior, the Warrior's armors on, and I am trying to win. This is, by the way, the hardest thing for me to do. Anytime because whenever there is unease, unrest, discomfort in a relationship, my need to fix or my need to get to a resolution quickly is so strong. [00:08:26] One of the best things you can do is pause the conversation, pause and walk away for a little bit. if like me, you have that hypervigilance that that need for resolution, that need to care take. Or if you are a justice seeking person, you're like, I will fight the good fight. [00:08:46] This is going to be really freaking hard. but I absolutely know. Based on the science, based on what is happening in our brains, what's happening in our nervous system, when we are engaged in an interaction like that, win or lose, you're gonna lose. So the best thing you can do when you catch it, even if it's mid-sentence, is to, and I'll actually do this, I'll do something, I'll do a gesture with my hands. [00:09:13] Like I'll throw up my hands like this, like, woo, I need, I need to stop. Or I'll do a timeout, hand signal. But I'll take a breath. I'll pump the brakes. Literally and metaphorically, I'll pump the brakes on the conversation and I need to pause and take a beat. There's actually a really common thread that I've, clients have told me about and I've actually experienced in my own life. [00:09:38] many times. I'll get off of a heated phone call and I'll hang up, and then a few minutes will go by. something will soften or a new thought will come to me, or I'll have a moment of clarity, or I'll start to feel contrite and maybe a little guilty at something at how I said something or what I said, and I'll actually have a better opportunity to reconnect through sending a text. [00:10:05] Now, I'm not a fan of text fighting or avoiding actual connection through text, but there is this phenomenon of. I have to stop the chain of events. That's un that's gaining momentum that I have. I'm losing control and I'm fighting hard to win. And I press pause and I stop and I breathe and I reflect [00:10:28] And then I'm seeing things in a different way. And then the act of texting. Is not to avoid the deeper connection, but I think there is something to, similar to why I love journaling. I'm thinking about what I'm writing and I'm thinking about what I'm sending. And generally that is either an apology or a more well-formed thought or a clarifying statement or a question that helps reframe. [00:10:56] There is something about step out of the game. If you catch yourself in this like pickleball match of like point, counterpoint, point, counterpoint, point, counterpoint, you're just trying so hard to win. [00:11:08] Step outta the game. So the pause is not abandoning the other person or abandoning the topic altogether, or it's not avoiding it. But I need to get out of this. The rules and the context of this game win or lose. I'm gonna step out. I'm gonna breathe and, you know, you're in a better place to reapproach the conversation when I come back online. [00:11:31] That's the language I use. it's hard to articulate into words 'cause it's a full body experience, The more I am caught in winning or losing or making somebody wrong, my focus becomes really narrow and I only see the examples. I only see the points that prove my perspective. Right? When I step out of the game and I breathe, [00:11:57] I come back to the present moment. from that perspective, I'm able to actually see the context of a broader frame of reference, and that opens up the conversation to better possibilities that are less corrosive and less draining. [00:12:15] So the takeaway from there, if you are fighting to win or lose, you will always lose. There is a better way to do it and my recommendation is to pause, step outta the game, breathe, reframe, and only reenter back into that interaction. When you feel yourself come back online. if you are in a relationship with a partner where you were the one choosing to step away and they. [00:12:40] Have an anxious attachment style or they are maybe more like me in this example where they're like, but they need, they need, they need to resolve. [00:12:47] So letting them know that I'm not walking away from you and I'm not avoiding us coming to. A resolution together, but now is not the time for me and I can't be my best me and do this. So depending on who you are and where you fall in each dynamic, it can be helpful to sometimes tend to that. If you have a partner that is a little bit more anxious attachedIf you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to start, or if you've been journaling off and on your whole life, but you're like, I wanna take this work deeper, I've got you covered. I've written a journal called Treasured, a Journal for unearthing you. It's broken down into seven key areas of your life, filled with stories, sentence stems, prompts, questions, and exercises. [00:13:28] All rooted in the work that I do with actual clients in my therapy sessions. I have given these examples to clients in sessions as homework, and they come back with insights that allow us to do such incredible work. This is something you can do in the privacy of your own home, whether you're in therapy or not. [00:13:47] It has context, it has guides. And hopefully some safety bumpers to help digging a little deeper feel possible, accessible and safe. You don't have to do this alone. And there's also a guided treasured meditation series that accompanies each section in the journal to help ease you into the processing state. [00:14:06] So my hope is to help guide you into feeling more secure with the most important relationship in your life, the one between you and you. Hop on over to the show notes and grab your copy today. And now back to the episode. [00:14:19] When I am, sorry. Falls flat. Ooh, there is nothing. Well, okay, maybe there are other things. It really bothers me when there is a hollow, like a chocolate Easter bunny empty on the inside. I'm sorry. There are so many ways that repair is done wrong, and I think a lot of what though, these fake or hollow apologies feel rooted in. [00:14:49] It's an apology in sheep's clothing. we want a guarantee. If I just knew the right words, if I just knew the script, if I just said the right thing, then I could hijack all of the awkward, uncomfortable, vulnerable conversations that I don't wanna have. I don't actually have to feel any of the sticky, icky, uncomfortable feelings that. [00:15:10] Are involved in making amends, taking responsibility, because once I know something, I can't unknow it. And if I know something and I can't unknow it, then I might need to change. And change is uncomfortable and change is hard. if I just repeat the script, then I can just skip all that crap and get right to the fun part, which is, you know, avoiding discomfort altogether. [00:15:33] I'm sorry, but, or there's a good rule of thumb that whatever comes after, but is what you really mean. So if you find yourself either hearing or saying, I'm sorry, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna tell you the, I'm sorry you just said was total bullshit and what you actually think and feel and what you mean is what comes after. [00:15:56] But there are so many ways that we say the words, but we don't mean the words. And so sometimes what I recommend to couples is to just swipe it from your vocabulary altogether. Because a lot of the time what we're looking for in place of an apology of atonement is acknowledgement. I see the impact my behavior had on you. [00:16:24] I see the effect that the way that I said what I just said, I can hear it now through your ears because you just shared. Your history, that experience you had when you were young, or you told me about the type of day you just had. I can now hear how that joke I thought was a joke or that comment that kind of came out sideways, or the fact that I'm frustrated and impatient I can now hear in a new way. [00:16:52] I have a new frame of reference. I have a new context because of what you shared, and I really appreciate you telling me that's not an apology, Fuck is that more powerful than so many times where we say, oh, I'm sorry, because I am sorry. Just, I'm sorry. I thought I was just making a joke. [00:17:11] Be discerning about your apologies. And also I think a really important question to ask that I will share with clients all the time. [00:17:24] Does the situation really call for an apology or is what the other person, or what you asking for is. Clarity and confirmation that your feelings matter. That your experience is real. And most of the time that is what we really are looking for. And that is enough Hollow chocolate bunny Apologies. Can Well, they can, they can get out 'cause I'm over 'em. [00:17:54] and I just don't understand. Oh. I just don't understand the faux helplessness, the performed confusion that a lot of us do. This one I find fun because when we are confused. Then we can't really make a choice. [00:18:19] And if we can't really make a choice because we don't really understand something, then guess what else we don't have to do. We don't have to change. And so a lot of times I will be working with a client who is either in a relationship with someone who is conveniently confused or they themselves. Are maybe not ready to know what they're on the cusp of knowing, or they're not ready to acknowledge what they already know. [00:18:46] There's all these different stages of readiness when it comes to making change, because change is hard and it's scary and it's uncomfortable, but this helpless confusion, I just don't understand. This is my favorite follow up question to that, and I empower you to use it. Just be ready for it though, because you can also use it on yourself. [00:19:10] I just don't understand. Do you want to, do you want to? Oof. I love that so much. Do you wanna understand, so just imagine you're having a conversation with you don't understand. Would you like to, because I'm happy to explain why it matters to me, because this is , the beauty and the really challenging part about emotional awareness . once we become aware. We can't unsee. If I don't know, then I'm gonna just keep doing what I've always done. But if I know I'm now presented with a choice that maybe I didn't have before, but now I have a choice and my choice is to either do the same thing pretending I don't know, or I'm gonna do the same thing, knowing full well and still choosing to do the same thing. [00:20:12] But it's a choice. It's not this helpless foe. I'm just lost and confused. I can't possibly be held accountable. Oh, record scratch. You do know now, and it's a real clarifying moment for an individual or for a relationship or for a job. Once I know what I know, I can't unknow it. [00:20:36] Now I'm being called to do something with this knowing, and sometimes that's a scary leap. The example that's actually coming to mind as I'm sharing this is I knew but wasn't ready to know for six months that I was ready to go out on my own and leave the practice. That helped me develop as a therapist and launch out on my own. [00:20:59] I knew for about six months that. I could afford it, that I was capable, that I had all of the resources I needed to make this happen. But I was scared to take the leap because change is hard. The unknown is uncertain and scary, and it's a new environment and new and scary, and it is just all, all the reasons why we may be avoid doing anything that's new. [00:21:24] But I knew and needed to be confused and then reminded and confused, and reminded and confused and reminded until I couldn't ignore what I knew anymore. And then I acted on it. And I think sometimes too , to wash this all with a, a big dose of compassion. I also think that a lot of times that that. [00:21:47] Knowing, not being ready to know, knowing not being ready to know is its own form of preparation. Like maybe what we see on the outside is procrastination is its own form of preparing. Getting ready to be ready, to be ready to change, [00:22:04] wherever you see yourself or your relationship or someone in your life in this process, I hope. That this has been clarifying. I hope you found some value in it or maybe sparked a fun conversation that we can continue to have. I welcome questions. I want your questions and I would love to be able to answer them for you here. [00:22:23] You can always email me at danielle@danielleireland.com. I am the only person who has access to that email, so I'll be the person that receives it. So hit me up with a follow up question. If you want me to expand on a topic or if you have a new one that you're curious about, let me know. [00:22:38] The thing I wanna leave, whether it's about winning or losing, or whether it's about when Hollow chocolate bunny bullshit apologies or being fake confused about something. If there was a way that we could simplify, well, okay, what do you actually do with this? [00:22:55] The first is breathe. The first will always be breathing. Because the breath is what allows all of the important problem solving parts of our brain that kick offline when we're absolutely flooded with emotion or in terror or thrown back to our 8-year-old emotional selves. Breath brings us back. So breathe. [00:23:19] I love doing this next step. I will think of myself or imagine myself as somewhere between like five and eight years old, but I think of little Danielle. [00:23:29] And then whenever I'm in conflict or mentally struggling with or taking issue with anyone, truly any other person, I will then imagine them as little them. So there's little Danielle and there's little them, and it softens me because one, the reality is we go back to an emotional age wherever, whenever we are flooded with emotion, the experience is exceeding our capacity to meet the moment. [00:24:01] And this is not a judgment, it's just a truth that when we get overwhelmed or flooded or have an adult tantrum or lose our temper emotions are seeping out our eyes, right? Whatever the expression is, the emotion of the moment is exceeding our capacity to meet it. Breath helps us kick back online and then remembering, oh, this is little me not knowing how to meet this moment. [00:24:25] And she's doing the best she can do. And then there's also a little version of this other person. Who is likely having the exact same experience in their own way, and it doesn't excuse behavior and it doesn't excuse mine, especially if I step outside the bounds of what's respectful. But to meet the moment with kindness and truth, doing that with compassion, with respect to what's likely happening inside me and likely happening inside the other, just really adds a nice, soft, cozy touch to the whole context. [00:25:00] Don't worry about a goddamn script. I've spent way too much time with clients, particularly in my early years, trying to craft the right thing to say. And I gotta say that those scripts will fail you when you're actually in the moment. Sentence stems can help. And maybe if you need a point of reference to launch into a well-worded email or text, but when you're speaking from the heart, it's gonna be the right thing. [00:25:25] But you won't be able to access that if you're not breathing. Disarm yourself, disarm the other. You're not enemies. You're not fighting. No one is trying to win or lose. And then say what you really feel and mean what you're saying. you'll know that it's the truth when it's also delivered with kindness. [00:25:48] Because what I absolutely believe to be true. A belief being just something you think a lot, and I think this a lot, that the truth can always be delivered with kindness. It doesn't mean it's gonna be comfy, cozy, it doesn't mean it's gonna be easy, and it doesn't mean the other person's going to like it, but it can absolutely is kind. [00:26:07] The truth is kind. So breathe, trust yourself, disarm yourself in the other. And try to do it with as much kindness as you can access. [00:26:20] I wanna hear from you. I wanna know what you think. I want to answer your questions, and I want to grow and get better with you. So before you leave, make sure to check out the show notes, all of the important links for my children's book, wrestling, a Walrus, my journal, treasure, a Journal for unearthing you, my website, all the fun ways you can connect with me. [00:26:40] They are there for you in the show notes. Make sure to check those out and write, review, subscribe to the podcast. Those three things are like the 1, 2, 3 power punch that help this podcast meet other people who can get value from it. The best things in life are shared, so please share and I hope you continue to have a wonderful day. [00:26:59]
Learn more about Level 1 Functional Pelvic Health Practitioner programGet certified in pelvic health from the OT lens hereGrab your free AOTA approved Pelvic Health CEU course here.Learn more about my guestFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/doug.vestal.5Website: https://www.freedomofpractice.com/____________________________________________________________________________________________Pelvic OTPs United - Lindsey's off-line interactive community for $39 a month! Inside Pelvic OTPs United you'll find: Weekly group mentoring calls with Lindsey. She's doing this exclusively inside this community. These aren't your boring old Zoom calls where she is a talking head. We interact, we coach, we learn from each other. Highly curated forums. The worst is when you post a question on FB just to have it drowned out with 10 other questions that follow it. So, she's got dedicated forums on different populations, different diagnosis, different topics (including business). Hop it, post your specific question, and get the expert advice you need. More info here. Lindsey would love support you in this quiet corner off social media!
Welcome to the Chicago Beer Pass: Your ticket to all the great beer events happening in and around Chicago.On this episode of Chicago Beer Pass, Brad Chmielewski and Nik White are back after taking a little break… though don't worry, there was still plenty of drinking during that time. They kick things off with cans of Half Acre's Slow Melt, which is simply fantastic! As they crush a few, they recap stops around the city and suburbs, including Maplewood Brewing, Goose Island, Crust, Bubblehouse, Skeleton Key Brewing, and more. The guys should be back with another episode soon, so be sure to subscribe and stay updated.Having issues listening to the audio? Try the MP3 (61.9 MB) or subscribe to the podcast on Spotify.
Season 2 kicks off with a delicious cruise down the Thames as we explore the best culinary experiences on river boats—from fine dining to floating street food. We then dive into nature with a visit to the awe-inspiring David Attenborough exhibit at the Natural History Museum, followed by a stroll through the vibrant River Walk Market.For those seeking hidden gems, we take you to The Dark Horse Camden, a rooftop haven perfect for summer sunsets. Feeling adventurous? We test our wits at the immersive Squid Game London experience, and step back in time with Jurassic World: The Experience, where dinosaurs come to life like never before.Need a break? Hop on the whimsical Oasis Afternoon Tea Bus Tour, blending sightseeing with scones. And to wrap things up—great news for commuters—air-conditioned trains have finally arrived on the Piccadilly Line. It's a packed episode full of London's coolest (and tastiest) summer highlights!GET YOUR TICKETS HERE:https://ldn.fan/podcasts02e01Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.The complete Show notes:GOT QUESTIONS ABOUT LONDON?Send me your question(s) for a chance to be answered live.Whatsapp: +44 7700 1822 99 (Text & Voice)E-Mail: hello@seeyouin.londonAsk your Question: https://seeyouin.london/askWebsite: https://seeyouin.londonFOLLOW MEFacebook: @londonaskedInstagram: @londonaskedJOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUPhttps://facebook.com/groups/londonaskedLEAVE A REVIEWPlease leave a review wherever you're listening to this podcast.GET IT NOW! The London Asked and Answered: Your Comprehensive Travel Guide Book or eBookhttps://guided.london/book© 2025 See you in London, Sascha Berninger Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Preview Season Rolls On! The Sun Belt is up and this conference is loaded with awesome brands in College Football. Loaded this year with coaching changes, transfers, and programs to watch. This conference is usually referred to as the "Fun Belt", and that's exactly what this preview is. Hop in, drop your thoughts on your team and their season. Play It!
And the EGOT goes to... US! Because we finally snagged ourselves the EGOT- with Aussie Oscar-winner Tim Chappel! This week, AW sits down for a game of King Diamond's 'Them' Vs La Cage aux Folles with the 2010 Revival Cast. Plus, we chat the impact of The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, winning the Oscar- and the Oscar curse, Heavy Costumes, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Runway Credits, Logies Categories, Death of the Helpmann Awards, Sewing Injuries, and Tim spills the tea on the upcoming sequel, Priscilla 2, because even Showgirls deserve a happy ending!Hop on board the bus for this incredible Pride Month episode! --SOCIALS--Tim: https://www.instagram.com/xtcostumeTim's Website: https://timchappel.com/Disney's Hercules on the West End Tickets: https://www.herculesthemusical.co.uk/TnT/Bloop Networkhttps://www.thetonastontales.com/listen -- https://www.patreon.com/bloomingtheatricals - https://twitter.com/thrashntreasurehttps://linktr.ee/thrashntreasure*****Help support Thrash 'n Treasure and keep us on-air, PLUS go on a fantastical adventure at the same time!Grab your copy of The Tonaston Tales by AW, and use the code TNT20 when you check out for 20% off eBooks and Paperbacks!https://www.thetonastontales.com/bookstore - TNT20 ***** ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
In this punchy UNCUT mini-episode, Jenny Mitchell dives into one of the hardest questions many of us avoid: What do you want? Sounds simple, but if you're someone who identifies as a people-pleaser or is constantly tuned in to what others need, this question might leave you blank. Jenny explores how our desire to keep the peace, avoid discomfort, or live up to unrealistic expectations can cloud our own internal compass. Drawing from her own journey as a leader and coach, she offers a loving (but firm) reminder: You can't have it all, at least not all at once, and leadership means choosing what you want and accepting what comes with it. Listener Reflection: What do you really want and what are you willing (and not willing) to do to make it happen? Can you give yourself 10 quiet minutes to name it, write it down, and begin making a plan? Listen to Episode 6.8 here: https://chavender.com/underdog-leadership-podcast/stop-pleasing-others-and-start-reclaiming-your-leadership-power/ — ✨Buy the Embracing Ambition Book: https://chavender.com/embracing-ambition-the-book/ Book a discovery call: https://calendly.com/jennychavender/30min?back=1&month=2022-09 Lean into Meaningful Conversations with this complimentary 20 minute video all about the tools and techniques for moving conversations forward: https://youtu.be/zv1N_ZsDEAs Don't miss an episode by joining my Podcast VIP Email List: https://chavender.activehosted.com/f/27 Catch me on email: jenny@chavender.com Check out my website: chavender.com Hop on over to Instagram: @jennychavender Let's connect on LinkedIn: Jenny Mitchell, CFRE, CEC, DMA "See" me on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0Q97-c98aPUmfhzlpswfsw
Love Your People Well™ - Christian Marriage, Motherhood, and Family Life
Go deeper with the Stress Relief Workbook for Christian Moms. Episode 255 // Summertime is a chance for great fun and family bonding… and a chance for extra bickering, cranky kids, and one million repetitions of “I'm bored.” No more, friend. Today, we'll tackle a few angles to Summer Mom Life: a few reality checks about how to manage summer stressors, 10 fun and free ideas for family bonding, PLUS one big warning - to make sure you can fully enjoy this summer with your family! Hop in, find some ideas, rest in some encouragement, and enjoy your summer
You've got the skills. You've got the idea.But when it comes to PRICING your offers? Total panic.
"Sometimes work just fucking sucks"That's what David Strano said back on the Decline episode, and if you're not careful, saying smart things gets you volun-told for a guest appearance on the pod. David's a former touring roadie turned HSE director. That basically means he knows a lot about both parts of the PRS podcast, so the boys are considering just handing over the reins. Shit, he even knows what episode number we're on.It's a rare episode when there's not a NOFX song title involved, but this one goes way back in time with The Clash's "Career Opportunities" as a reference to shit jobs, success, and just getting things done in the face of a lot of competing goals.Since David has a real job (even closer to the actual work than Ron), we had a cool opportunity to talk about workplace safety as it's seen and lived with by folks doing work, especially those at the front line.David did 20 years of touring before Covid, and that's pretty rad. Except for the safety part. Nobody actually does that, apparently. It's the wild west, as David says, and shit happens as you might expect.There's a big difference between compliance and looking for high-performance safety, but the reality is that compliance is still important, even if it isn't the complete answer. The boys talk a little bit about the difference between awareness and something mattering, too. And tolerability - like the idea that if you choose to work here in a high-risk industry, you've basically said you accept some level of risk.Later in the discussion, all of those ideas tie together in a conversation about where expectations from customers fit in. Priorities - like getting a facility opened on time - mean safety drifts back to the old school view of production vs. protection, even when we're focused on more contemporary ideas. FSMM isn't meant to be the real deal, but there are times when it sure looks and feels like it is.Anyway, it's an episode focused on how tradeoffs materialize at work, how having multiple folks with checkbooks shapes safety, and where compliance fits into discussions about front-line work grappling with safety as an academic abstraction.Have fun, punkers! DISCLAIMER: You probably shouldn't take anything in this podcast too seriously. Punk Rock Safety is for entertainment only. It's definitely not a replacement for professional or legal advice, and the fair amount of piss-taking, shithousery, and general ridiculousness ought to clue you into the fact that no one - and no organization - is endorsing (or un-endorsing, if that's a thing) any products, ideas, or other things. Except NOFX. We definitely endorse them.Oh, and give your money to Punk Rock Saves Lives. They're a rad organization that works in mental health, addiction, and human rights. And they're awesome people who can use your help to keep on kicking ass at what they do.https://www.punkrocksaveslives.org/Let us know what you think at info@punkrocksafety.com or on our LinkedIn page.Merch at punkrocksafetymerch.com
SPAAAANG! Maybe running an errand for Principal Wordsmith wasn't so easy after all. Now Connor and Craft have to climb the Ad-Mage-Istrator's Tower while Rowan keeps the box safe. Also… I have a weird question… what's in the box???We're playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.Sponsors- Mage Hand Press, whose Gunslinger class is now available on D&D Beyond. Check out their work at magehandpress.comFind Us Online- website: https://jointhepartypod.com- patreon: https://patreon.com/jointhepartypod- instagram: https://instagram.com/jointhepartypod- twitter: https://twitter.com/jointhepartypod- tumblr: https://jointhepartypod.tumblr.com- facebook: https://facebook.com/jointhepartypod- merch & music: http://jointhepartypod.com/merchCast & Crew- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Editor (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman- Multitude: https://multitude.productionsAbout UsJoin the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who've never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Send us a textYour browser history might be your most closely guarded secret. We all have those moments—hovering over the delete button, wondering if anyone else might see the digital breadcrumbs of our curiosity. This episode dives headfirst into those moments when our private digital lives suddenly become exposed.Jack kicks things off with a provocative thought experiment: what's your honest reaction when you discover something unexpected in someone else's browser history? Through hilarious personal anecdotes—including an unforgettable night at a Guam nightclub called "Denial" that takes an unexpected turn—we explore how these moments of accidental discovery can create both comedy and crisis in our relationships.The humor here isn't just for laughs; it reveals something deeper about how we navigate privacy, judgment, and acceptance in the digital age. When someone's browser history exposes interests or preferences they haven't shared with you, is it a betrayal or simply a part of their private world you weren't meant to see?This episode also debuts our new segment "No Face, No Case," where listeners can anonymously submit their relationship questions and dilemmas. Our first submission tackles a painful situation: discovering a long-term partner is bisexual and has been unfaithful with a mutual friend. Through this discussion, we examine how couples might better navigate curiosity and desire together rather than separately.Whether you've had your own "delete my history" moment or you're curious about how others handle digital privacy in relationships, this raw, unfiltered conversation offers both entertainment and insight. Share your own anonymous questions or feedback through any platform where you listen to Four Steppers Only.Songs Featured:Leon Thomas - MUTThttps://music.apple.com/us/album/mutt/1770204463?i=1770205275Dj Drama Feat. Chris Brown https://music.apple.com/us/album/mutt/1770204463?i=1770205275Support the show
What if your next season of growth is already waiting—it's just about timing? In this solo episode, I'm coming to you from my screen porch with reflections on summer, the art of becoming, and how life is always inviting us to ask: What's ripe right now? From black raspberries to life lessons, we explore the natural rhythm of rest, renewal, and the moments that call us toward discipline, leadership, and showing up for the life we actually want. I share stories, honest insights, and practical wisdom for navigating change, building resilience, and making sure you're ready for the next chapter—even when it feels hard. Whether you're craving space to slow down or feeling the nudge to rise up, this conversation will help you meet yourself with more compassion, clarity, and courage.
On the 92nd episode of Shirley's Temple, I sat with the beautiful & talented Lyrica Anderson! Listen as we discuss recording w/ Timbaland for 6 months for nothing, writing Beyonce's “Drunk In Love” & not getting credit, why she had to get her boobs redone, compares divorce to death, getting pregnant on Love & hip Hop, collaborating w/ Chris Brown & Kevin Gates, wanting to get married again, & Natalie Nunn & Lemuel Plummer snaking her on her own song! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Hop in the RV and let's go! We bask in the Sawanaissance, ask how to take good notes in a movie theater, and question the gendering of death as we reach the final destination of our Final Destination series (so far), Final Destination: Bloodlines! (and don't forget to call your mother)
In this episode, we're joined by Stacey Carpenter of Hop'n Ridge Ranch — a dedicated homesteader, entrepreneur, and educator who's building a thriving life rooted in purpose and practicality. Stacey shares her journey of starting a homestead from the ground up and how she's turned her passion into a full-fledged business and educational platform. We talk about the realities of balancing family, farming, and finances — from raising livestock with intention to teaching others through hands-on experiences. Stacey opens up about the learning curves, the wins, and the mission behind Hop'n Ridge Ranch. Whether you're new to homesteading or looking to grow your farm-based business, this episode offers a candid look at what it takes to make it work, with tips on marketing, community-building, and staying true to your “why” along the way. Sponsored by BaseCampEd - It Takes a Village, Build Yours Today! Episode Links Find Hop'n Ridge Ranch on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/hopnridgeranch Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/sheep_of_5048 Give Stacey a call at 509-944-5559 Kody Links Website: https://www.thehomesteadeducation.com/ Shop Curriculum: https://www.thehomesteadeducation.com/shop Speaking Events: https://www.thehomesteadeducation.com/events Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehomesteadeducation Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/homestead_education Watch episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@homesteadeducation
In folklore, a werewolf, or occasionally lycanthrope, is an individual who can shapeshift into a wolf, or especially in modern film, a therianthropic hybrid wolf–humanlike creature, either purposely or after being placed under a curse or affliction, often a bite or the occasional scratch from another werewolf, with the transformations occurring on the night of a full moon. Did and do these mysterious changelings exist, or is it merely a form of madness of the human mind? Hop into the history books with Joel as he looks at lycanthropy and its indelible mark on not on the ancient world but modern times as well. He starts with Sabine Baring-Gould's Book of Werewolves, one of the pillars of exploration into the myth of the werewolf. He explores the ancient world of Greek, Roman and Norse mythology where the lycanthrope seems to have originated. Lastly, he looks at the Biblical story of Nebuchadnezzar II and if he was truly just mad or something far more wolf-like. Buy Me A Coffee: Donate Website: https://linktr.ee/joelthomasmedia Follow: Instagram | X | Facebook Watch: YouTube | Rumble Music: YouTube | Spotify | Apple Music Films: merkelfilms.com Email: freetherabbitspodcast@gmail.com Distributed by: merkel.media Produced by: @jack_theproducer INTRO MUSIC Joel Thomas - Free The Rabbits YouTube | Apple Music | Spotify OUTRO MUSIC Joel Thomas - Imposter YouTube | Apple Music | Spotify
Welcome back to 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs!' In this lively and heartfelt episode, Danielle Ireland chats with Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network. Ashlyn shares her journey from growing her nonprofit organization to the emotional rollercoaster of her daughter's complex medical journey. Get ready to explore how pain can be an unexpected teacher, the magic of community support, and why tapping into creativity can be your secret weapon against anxiety. Filled with laughs, valuable insights, and touching moments, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom and joy. Tune in and enjoy the ride! 00:00 Introduction and Guest Overview 00:20 Ashlyn Thompson's Journey and Nonprofit Growth 01:10 The Importance of Community and Support 01:37 Embracing Big Feelings and Finding Joy 02:52 Welcoming Ashlyn Back and Discussing Growth 05:44 Navigating Pain and Empowerment 09:51 The Power of Perspective and Decision Making 14:27 Balancing Life and Nonprofit Work 21:21 The Role of Pain as a Teacher 30:48 Finding Comfort in Movement and Nature 33:09 Returning to Basics 33:35 Reflecting on Past Decisions 35:20 The Role of Pain and Fear 38:20 Parent Empowerment Network 44:25 Creativity as a Lifeline 49:21 Embracing Emotions 53:07 Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Moment 01:01:20 Conclusion and Resources Ashlyn Thompson interview links Ashlyn Thompson, a passionate advocate and storyteller, is co-founder of the Parent Empowerment Network, a nonprofit providing emotional and mental health support to parents navigating pediatric medical complexities. She also co-hosts theEmpowered by Hope podcast, which equips parents with practical tools, resources, and a strong sense of community—delivered with a heavy dose of humor and hope to empower them as their child's best advocate. Ashlyn's fire for advocacy was ignited by her daughter Emery, who was born with bladder exstrophy. After Emery nearly died following a major surgery at just seven weeks old, Ashlyn became a fierce voice for patient safety. Unwilling to accept the limitations of domestic medical care, she discovered a surgical option in the U.K. that wasn't available in the U.S. at the time. In early 2023, Emery became the first American to undergo this procedure—and thanks to Ashlyn's relentless advocacy, that surgery is now available in America. When she's not advocating or recording podcasts, Ashlyn moonlights as a budding driveway chalk artist, chaos coordinator for her spirited family, and an avid nature lover. Chocolate is her daily vitamin, ADHD is her superpower, spiders and small talk are her sworn enemies, and she firmly believes laughter and boldness are two of a parent's greatest tools. Parent Empowerment Network: The Parent Empowerment Network exists to support, encourage, and educate parents of children with medical complexities—empowering them with community, knowledge, and confidence to be their child's fiercest advocate. www.ParentEmpowermentNetwork.org Empowered by Hope podcast on all major podcast streaming platforms: https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/podcast/ Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Parent-Empowerment-Network/100083218456295/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentempowermentnetwork/ She is Charlotte book by co-founder, Emily Whiting:https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/she-is-charlotte-book/ DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below. Website: https://danielleireland.com/ The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” is about creating a community around, and familiarity with, the messy middle—that uncertain and often chaotic and uncomfortable time in the middle of a process or journey. The messy middle is replete with ambiguity and challenges, but it's also where the hard and rewarding work happens. Transcript [00:00:00] Danielle: Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are watching or listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. I am so excited to be back in the interview seat. We've done some solo cast. It's been a blast. But Ashlyn Thompson is here with me today, and we just wrapped an incredible conversation. Ashlyn came on as a guest to talk about her work with Charlotte's Hope Foundation a couple of years ago. [00:00:26] She was about ready to embark right in the interview we were, she was. Days away from embarking on a trip to the UK for her daughter having a surgery with the only surgeon in the world who performed the specific type of surgery that her daughter needed. Her daughter's made a full recovery. It's a beautiful story we're gonna get into in this episode, but what I'm truly, if you could imagine even beyond that beautiful story, what I'm so excited to introduce to you and to that I was so grateful to witness and learn from. [00:00:53] Is that Ashlyn has grown her nonprofit organization, not no money in organization, but yes, a nonprofit organization that at the time, two years ago when we last checked in with her, was called Charlotte's Hope Foundation. It has grown. It's expanded, and it's evolved, and it's now the Parent Empowerment Network. [00:01:10] She and her co-founder also have a podcast for that same work, and what I love about the work that they do. They create community connection space and resources for parents and families raising children or any provider helping a child navigate medical complexities. And that sounds like such a hard and heavy and challenging topic. [00:01:33] And it is. But what Ashlyn embodies is. The work that I really wanted to bring to this season and this new phase of don't cut your own bangs, which I want big feelings to feel less scary. I want approaching them to feel possible. And then with that in mind, wherever possible, as much as possible, finding lightness, levity, and joy. [00:01:54] However we can do it. And I'm telling you, in this episode we did that. We accomplished that. We talk about important things, we talk about heavy things, and Ashland is vulnerable in a way that is inviting. But also something we can all learn from. And through the specificity of her life experience and what she's learned, there are universal nuggets that we can all find value in. [00:02:17] I know I did, and this was such a beautiful place to share, and we laughed. We had joy, we smiled . I hope that this topic invites you and encourages you to lean in and tune in because there are so many great nuggets of this. Thank you for being here, and I can't wait for you to sit back, relax, and enjoy. [00:02:38] Ashlyn Thompson [00:02:39] Hi. Yes, I know. Big jumps for both of us. I know. I feel like we're, it does feel like a lifetime ago. It I mean, in many ways it is. It's like we're, I mean, I'm still, me and all the key players are still playing. Right. But it does feel like a different life in a way. And I, with that in mind, I just wanna officially welcome you back. [00:02:55] Yes. Welcome. Ashlyn Thompson. Oh, thank. Don't cut your own bangs. I am so excited that you're here for many reasons, but the thing I'm most excited about is I think that. Building something or starting something creates a certain amount of effort and energy. Sustaining something, growing with it, breathing new life into it, that's a different part of a different element of a creative process. [00:03:17] And that's something I think specifically I'm really excited to talk to you about because you're parent Empowerment Network, which has it, it exists to support, encourage and educate parents and caregivers of children with medical complexities. And that was, it already was in existence when we, right, when we recorded the first time. [00:03:34] But it has grown. Grown. I went to a gala, people, she's throwing a gala fundraiser for her for her network. And so, I mean, I wanna hear about all the twists and all the developments of that, but more specifically the context I wanna provide for us and for this conversation. The thing that I'm really excited about, , and why I feel really passionate about bringing this to video. [00:03:57] Is that I want to help make big feelings feel less scary. Yeah. And I want to make, approaching them feel possible. And then with that in mind as much and as often as possible, laugh as much as possible. Amen. And so, right? So like, you are swimming in the trenches with people and even in your own life with people who are holding and making space for heavy things. [00:04:23] Yes. And yet there is a bright smile on your face. There's a twinkle in your eye. You laugh and you smile. And I wanna, and I don't know how to articulate what that is, but I want to, I wanna, that's something I wanna make space for in this conversation too. So it's important and it's big and it's emotional for sure, but also like, let's allow levity too. [00:04:42] Absolutely. I am so excited to be continuing our conversation, and I'm also really happy to know that. The person who's sitting here with you today is very much a different person from two years ago. And I feel like I have gone through multiple versions of myself just in the past two years. And that's one of the things that I truly celebrate about, not just the journey of parent empowerment network, but I think just growing and evolving as a human spirit, experiencing this life is recognizing that I say this phrase to only certain people, but I act, I feel compelled to share it now. [00:05:26] I feel like I have died a thousand times. And greeted so many versions of myself. But every time I rise into that extroversion and realize who I am, I like that person more and more. And. I feel like one of my greatest accomplishments just this past year has been truly settling into a, knowing a deep belief that life is meant to grow through, not go through. [00:05:58] And that change, that pivot of how I see the next big thing that comes up has been such a grounding force for me and has really helped me feel like I'm actually sitting in the driver's seat of my car. I don't know what I'm going to pass as I'm on this highway. In life. And sometimes life yanks me off on an exit I didn't plan. [00:06:23] And those exit ramps are typically the next lesson. But I'm grateful to be at a point where I can now see the next really hard thing emerging and not wanna hit reverse. Wow. Wow. Not that I like it all the time. No, God. But I can appreciate that this isn't out to crush me. This isn't here to take me down like I used to feel. [00:06:53] , Wow. There's a lot to unpack there for. Thank you so much for sharing that, but also not going in reverse. I wanna make a mental note, not going in reverse. The next version of me, I like better, and this is not here to crush me. Right. The, there's something, I got chills. I got full body chills when you, the la with the last thing that you said, because when I'm working with clients, there is this element and this is something. [00:07:18] I promise I'll come back to that original point there. There's an element of the work that I do where, and I'm sure you get this in your own way too, with like hearing stories from families who are holding really hard and heavy things. I think when I meet people for the first time, a common response is, wow, I don't know how you do what you do, or I don't know how you listen to that all day. [00:07:36] Or Oh man, and I think, yes, sure. There, there are certainly days and clients or moments where those stories are making space for people's big, heavy, painful experiences. Right. Is can be a lot at times. Far less anymore. But I think more than anything the va like, I feel so lucky to have the experience a hundred maybe even thousands of times over hurt people's pain. [00:08:03] And I know what pain sounds like. Yes. And there are different types and one thing that I absolutely believe to be true is that our pain is not personal. Our story is personal, right? But pain is not personal. And the events of our life, even things that happen to us, it's, there's it's almost shifting out of a, and I hope I can say this within the context that, that is heard with love. [00:08:27] But shifting out of a victim mentality right into it. Because being victimized or being stricken with grief or holding something hard like that is absolutely real. And also knowing that this is happening to me, but this is not gosh, what are the words I'm trying to find. It, what I'm hearing is you recognize how hard this is. [00:08:51] Whatever that insert blank. I recognize how hard this is, and I'm not going to make this pain so precious that I don't also see it as temporary. Yes, exactly. But there's something, so I think there's something really powerful and there's so much nuance to that because I certainly don't want to, people can be victimized, but the victim mentality is one of, in my professional experience it's one of the more challenging headspace to, for someone to walk out of. [00:09:21] Agree. It's really hard. Exactly. It shrinks your world. So, so much. That's well said. And we experience that very often. We really fo I mean we say all the time, you know, we are non diagnosis specific, non prognosis specific with the families that we work with, and we focus on the parents or the parent role, which could be performed by a sibling, a grandparent, a friend, an adopt, a lot of different people, but. [00:09:51] What we really found early in our journey and what helped us evolve into parent empowerment network was that recognition that, like you pointed out, pain is not it's not customized to your experience. The feeling, the emotional and physical experience relationship with pain is common through all of us, and it actually is a way that we can connect with each other when we recognize that. [00:10:18] When we stop comparing one another's pains. Now, don't get me wrong, if your kid got a bump on the head versus your kid needs a, you know, brain surgery. Right. Those are different. Yes. Very different. Yes. But most of the time we're not dealing with that. And what we have found is that when somebody is in that victim mentality, which is understandable, I think that's a, very important aspect to acknowledge when you're feeling like a victim, why is this happening to me? Or why is this happening to my child? Because I'll be the first to say, it's never okay when your child is hurting or sick or in harm's way or worse. I will never be okay with it. But when we say stuck in a victim mentality, our ability to problem solve goes from about here to here. [00:11:08] Yeah. And then your child is really the one who suffers. And I hate, it's a hard truth. But we have to face that truth because when we can help a parent start to find glimmers of hope, start to see that there's a way to build on quality of life rather than cure. Then you start to see this new version emerge where they are truly, you know, empowered advocates for their child. [00:11:45] There's something that I heard in what you said too, that a lot of times when I'm working with clients who are maybe knee deep in anxiety or depression, for example. I think why can be a powerful question, but I think a misplaced why is a really exactly damaging question. Like, why me? Why them? [00:12:02] Why this, why now? Because those are questions you can't answer that only lead to a defeating answer. Exactly. And usually another question or shame, but what I'm hearing a lot in when you. When you can kind of broaden your focus and sort of release that constriction from why you then can open yourself up to a different type of question. [00:12:23] How can I, exactly. How can I get through today? How can I get through this moment? What is needed most of me now? What do I need now? Right. And those types of the what and the how. Who do I need to show up for? Is it me? Right. Is it them? Who do I need to ask for help? Who has information that I need? [00:12:43] Those types of questions don't eliminate the pain, but it broadens the scope Yes. Of, of your field of vision. And I know that though, like, 'cause you are here in many ways. Oh, I hope it's okay to use this term. But I hope that you're here as an expert and you're also the executive Hope director of of the power impairment network. [00:13:05] And I think a lot of times. What we would imagine as the worst possible case scenario. Like the worst thing we could imagine would be something happening to our kids. This has been your lived experience. This has been your business partner's lived experience. And for, even though you have a podcast as well, where you really create a space and content and a community that helps people with that very specific set of circumstances, that Right. [00:13:33] I would imagine it's like. The best and worst club to be a part of. So we always say, we're so sorry you're in this club. Yes. But we're so glad you found us. Yes. Like it's the yes, we're really sorry, but at the same time, like, welcome home, welcome. And so I think a lot of the, a lot of the people who tune in to don't cut your own bang, I don't know how many would have this specific life experience. [00:13:57] Right. And if you do, oh my gosh, what a gorgeous resource you have in Ashlyn. Oh, thank you. And the Parent empowerment network and their podcast. But I do think that even in something like this, in within the specificity of everything you're saying, there is such a broad truth that I think we can all access and find value in. [00:14:16] And, yeah. So just thank you for all of that. And I want to, okay. I wanna shift a little bit to the growth of the parent Empowerment network. Right. Because, so when I originally started this podcast, what I was, what I really motivated me, one was I was terrified of becoming a therapist and having worked as a creative, and I just wanted to surround myself with other people who, who were building things, right? So that I could sort of sneak in my own needy questions. Like, how did you do it? How did you figure it out? What happened when you were scared? Like, what happened when your computer crashed? Oh my gosh. And you went from newly building something to, you have really grown. [00:14:53] Yes. You have really grown. And I wanna know having experienced the, you know, the gala that Right. That you that you threw that was so lovely. I wanna know . What led to the growth over the last two years? Because you're still momming, you're still life. Yeah. Your daughter is still being you. [00:15:08] I mean, like your life is still life and Yes. Life is still lifeing. How, in the midst of your lifeing, how have you also continued to grow this? And I really wanna know like what fueled your fire. And just tell me more about that story please. Yes, absolutely. So at the beginning of this, you know, when we started talking, you were very talking about how I'm sitting here smiling and I mean, I am fully, I am genuinely full of joy in this moment. [00:15:35] And I think I know actually that comes from being in something like we have with Parent Empowerment Network, which has been truly its own huge like business, right? We are called a nonprofit, but let me tell you, I mean, it is straight up business. [00:15:57] Is what it is in a lot of ways, and. That's the worst possible name for a tax category. It totally is. Because it's so confusing. Nonprofit doesn't mean no money. Right. Exactly. It's so confusing. We do not exist for free. Is great an idea as that sounds. I want that to be the slogan for every nonprofit. [00:16:16] I just, 'cause we don't exist for free. Right. You know the whole, you get what you pay for. It's, yeah. That's a whole other conversation. We're not gonna spend too much time there today. We should have a part two then. There we go. I'm okay with that. All right. So for that, what I think the biggest lesson that has. [00:16:33] Emerged from this journey just since we were, you know, you and I were talking a couple years ago when we were actually still called Charlotte's Hope Foundation. Yes. Which was our initial name. Yes. Because we had an idea for something that was this big at the beginning. And the name Charlotte's Hope Foundation fit that in theory. [00:16:52] But the thing I'm most proud of my, of Emily Whiting, who's my co-founder, fellow mom, fellow sister, fellow savior, at times the best thing we have done is allowed ourselves permission to grow and shrink as needed. And that's what we've done throughout this journey. It has not been a step process. [00:17:15] There have been countless times where we have grown two or three steps, been bigger, you know, working with international teams of surgeons, pulling together collaborations that have never been done, and then. There have been times where we have pulled back and we haven't released an episode for six weeks. [00:17:33] We have had maybe two or three social posts because our lives were on fire or just demanded all our attention, but it didn't mean we had to stop. I need to, oh my gosh. I don't know how many of you listening or watching can relate to that. I, there is a relationship I have with the expansion and contraction of output where if I'm not putting something out, producing something, making something that it really does a number on my sense of self worth. Right. And self esteem. And that is something that I'm still actively healing and repairing, because I definitely know the facts. I know. The really bumper stickery, self helpy sounding talk. [00:18:26] And I believe it. It's not that I, I don't hear it and think like, yeah. Right. It's just that there's a more practiced version of me, right. That has just had more at bats operating in a certain way. And then life in many ways rewards you for that. In theory. In theory. And I don't mean the like the laurels, like you get the the kudos pat on the back accolades but there is a cost, right? [00:18:47] There is a cost. And I think, in the I this past year I wrote a children's book called Wrestling a Walrus. And this the act of writing this book was something that I didn't realize that in the contraction, or even like in the I love the visual of the caterpillar becoming the butterfly. [00:19:09] 'Cause there's a two week process where the caterpillar is literally, we talk about the messy middle in this podcast and think, thank you Brene Brown, wherever you are for creating language and context for us for this very conversation. 'cause so much of this is inspired by that, but that gooey, mushy middle where it's not a butterfly, it's literally goo and it's Exactly, and it, and, but in that place, there is magic happening there. [00:19:33] Even if it, even though it looks like a pile of shit, right. Like, it's, there's magic happening there. I'll say the impetus or the inspiration, the. It was tough moments with my daughter, moments where I didn't feel like I was doing anything. Right. It like hitting the wrecking ball of, you know, being a parent of a toddler and a parent of an infant like that was, there's not enough grace in any space to help you go through that without serious, you know, support. [00:20:02] There were, I had some victim mentality at that point in time, even, and all things can be true at once. But all of that was what I experienced before I had the idea to write the book. And had I not had that experience, I wouldn't have been able to do that. Exactly. I don't think it would've been the same. [00:20:16] And [00:20:16] , and I promise this whole podcast isn't an ad for the book, but like, I really believe in this damn book and I love it so much. And I love that you talk about that expansion and contraction for yourself. And that you doesn't, it doesn't mean you have to stop. 'cause I think a big reason why I maybe avoided picking up the torch again and doing this podcast like I left it for so long, or I abandoned it for so long, or can I still do it right? [00:20:41] Like all of that stuff. And then yeah it. Yeah. Doubt doesn't mean you're done. No. And taking a pause doesn't mean you're stopping forever. But yeah. I mean, you can't just exhale forever. You can't just output like you eventually have to breathe in. Exactly. And that relationship is very necessary. [00:21:00] And so, I mean, everything you're saying is exactly what I need. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. And it, that lesson doesn't come easily. Nope. But I think another element of that, you know, building off of what you were just talking about, pain and discomfort and naturally shying away from it. [00:21:21] I challenge anybody in life to just take a moment to consider pain as a potential teacher, as a professor, rather than pain as an enemy, or pain as a destroyer. Right. If you ask yourself. Why does this feel painful? Because how many times do we all experience in our life something that really gets under our skin, but whether it's a spouse or it's a friend or a coworker and they seem totally unfazed by it, [00:21:56] and that used to be something that bothered me. I was kinda like what's, am I ever sensitive? Or like, what is my thing? And I grew up always hearing, not necessarily even from my parents, but I feel like. Teacher schools and saved by the bell commercials about find what you love in life and you'll never work a day in your life. [00:22:16] And that was great in theory, but I'm a very eclectic person. Yep. I love a lot. And all I was getting was a lot of burnout. That's also like saying like, love your kids and you'll never have a hard day with them in your life. You're like, no bs. No. I love my kids. But like, you know, oh my gosh, kids are the greatest, hardest thing of life. [00:22:33] Right. Right. But I think the same is true. Like , I never stopped loving this. Right. But I don't always have control over the life around. Right. But it's a, I think allowing things to be a part of you, not all of you, is really important. Yeah. And I think it's so easy to define ourselves by that output. [00:22:53] For me and Emily, the word is often it's impact. Are we actually making an impact? And the thing that helped us. Become okay with hitting the pause button when we needed to, and not officially throwing in the towel. Don't get me wrong, there were conversations about it, but we were always very honest with each other and we held each other accountable that if you are feeling like this is not jiving with your life, if it's not jiving with you personally, or it's not good for your family at this moment, let's hit the pause button and talk about it. [00:23:26] But realizing that if we only help each other while working on this, Emily and I, that's helping our kids, that's helping our families. And there's a domino effect from that goes from that. And if that's all we ever do, what's bad about that? You said something that I, it still stuck with me and it will probably be the title of this episode. [00:23:49] Pain is a Professor. Yes, it is. And I wanna go back to that because something that I talk about in my sessions a lot is that your emotions never lie to you. Now your thoughts are very different. Yes. Your thoughts can go a, now granted, we need to think critical thinking is important. [00:24:04] We probably need more critical thinking, but thoughts happen to us all day, every day, constantly. Right. I don't remember what the statistic is. I think we have roughly like eight thoughts a minute, something like that. I'm surprised it's not . Maybe that's just a DH adhd. And that could be too, like, yeah, there, maybe there's a spectrum. [00:24:18] Maybe it's eight to 80 thoughts a minute. Give or take. Give or take a hundred. But so thoughts happen to us now. We can certainly consciously choose what to focus on and what we think. But thinking happens, the emotions are in response to what we're thinking and believing. Exactly. And they never lie. [00:24:35] Right. And I But something you said like pain as a professor. And I like the thought that emotions are energy in motion. Yes. And they always have something for you to learn. There's something for every emotion. There is something it wants you to know. Right. And when you're not feeling good are we have more pain receptors in our body, unfortunately. [00:24:55] We have more pain receptors in our body than we do pleasure receptors. Like, and so when pain is activated, it just has a firmer grip. There's something that Martha Beck talks about that I love. It's called the, I think she calls it the Viper in the box of puppies. So if you were to imagine like, and enough said, right. [00:25:10] Done. You get it. But you hand, if I handed you a box full of like 15 adorable, gorgeous little puppies, I mean, it's, they're the most abundant, silly, loving, fuzzy source of love, safety, pleasure. I could really go for that right now. I mean, would it, that should be a, I'm hoping there's one hiding around somewhere. [00:25:28] We have a surprise for you, but if I were to then put a Viper in or a cobra in your box of puppies. All you're gonna see is the threat. Exactly. All you're gonna see is the threat. And I think in life, it's like we pop mo most of us more often than not, are probably living in lives with a lot of puppies. [00:25:48] But the viper, the threat is what consumes Oh yeah. So much energy and attention and shifting your focus from one to the other is easier said than done. And I wanna talk to you specifically about how you have found meaning or, and I, when I say success, I don't mean it in like a bullet point sense, but right. [00:26:12] Where you have found access to, you know, the viper, you know, or the cobra, you know, the box of puppies. Right. How you access that. I can certainly share how I have, but my emotions, I. I've learned in time. I don't always know exactly what they're telling me in the beginning, but I trust them enough to know that it's something. [00:26:36] And so the first place I try to access, if I'm not dissociating or avoiding, is to sit with it. Yeah. So usually it's like, I'm I'll just dissociate in my fantasy book or rewatching parks and recreation for the MPH teeth bajillion time. You know, it's just always a Sure bet. Yeah. It's just, it's hard for, life can only be so hard with Leslie Nope and little Sebastian, you know? [00:26:57] So anyway. But I wanna know where you find yourself in that shift. Yeah. Yeah. So you've got my head's like turning, I'm also still picturing puppies to be honest. That's okay. So I actually, I feel like I wanna give an example of something that I experienced last year, so two years ago. [00:27:11] It's crazy to think two years ago I went on this crazy journey to England. I went to London to take my daughter, who was not quite two years old yet to have a surgery over there for her ultra rare condition that was not available in the States. And I had talked to everybody in the States, of course, that had any knowledge about it and all they could tell me was, we don't really know anything about it. [00:27:35] We don't do it here. Kind of you're on your own, go for it. Or don't, we can't say that we would support you. All that matters is I went for it. And fortunately it did end up being the right decision, but I also knew that it could not be the right decision. And what I found on that experience was that I was originally desperate for picking the right way in life to move forward, that I could not make a decision. [00:28:06] I could not possibly move forward unless I was a hundred percent sure. But guess what? Life isn't real big on giving you a guarantee. Yeah. Guarantees with anything. And I think where I, that's where I started to learn that I don't have to have the answers to move forward. I can be looking at that box and I can see, oh my gosh, this could go terribly wrong. [00:28:34] But I think living with a hopeful mindset is something that allows me to keep my eye on that viper and then still interact with the puppies over here. My eye is still trained on it, but what I found is a peace in making my decision. And it was a, that feeling, that gut feeling. You know, it, I, it doesn't matter what you've gone through in life. [00:28:58] I can't believe that there's anybody out there who hasn't just had that. I call it just that knowing in your gut, it's a physical experience and that is something. That has helped me move forward in life. Because here's the thing, guys, nobody can ever stay truly still. And that's where a lot of our pain and discomfort comes from, is fighting moving forward without certainty. [00:29:23] Oh, let's pause right there. Oh my gosh. So there's something that Dr. Becky Kennedy who she has the good, she wrote the book Good Inside, and she's got her own beautiful podcast and work and content. She does. She really she focuses on kids, but she's really working on parents relationship with their inner child and by extension their parenting. [00:29:43] But she talks about something called, I've called it the Gap, but she calls it the learning space. So with kids, most of their frustration, tension and meltdowns happen between meeting a moment or. A moment arising and knowing how to meet the moment. And that learning space is usually the gap in knowing or understanding of this is what's arisen and I don't know how to meet this moment. [00:30:04] Right? And then if their context or their ability to meet it, if the moment exceeds their ability that's usually when there's a lot of pain or big feelings. Right. And I think with adults, that's usually where I see self-doubt, rumination anxiety, self-destructive tendencies. [00:30:23] Come in and you're right. You're, I love that you said we're never really still, I mean, one that's just true based on science and physics. We're never still that's actually one of the, like, there's like two necessary components, maybe three to being a living, being or a living entity. [00:30:36] I think, what is it? Movement, cell division, reproduction, and, I don't know, something else. Hey, anyone here pop off in the comments if you're a science boss, please gold star for you. Please. But but yeah, we're never truly still. And so even when you feel stagnant and stuck and even hearing you say that I'm actually processing in real time, one of the things that I have done that I, I discovered by accident, but probably because my body knew better than my mind did. [00:31:04] I would, it often does. I would take my feelings on walks. I would, I talked about that movement is essential if you are literally feeling stuck. I tell, that's what I tell everybody. Anytime they're spiraling. Which it's understandable. Go for a walk. Even if it is five minutes, walk up and down your stairs. [00:31:22] Or at the least one of my favorite things thank you Instagram reels for sucking up so much of my life at times in the hospital, but sometimes, but it's, sometimes it's, it is the perfect escape. It's okay to let the pressure off of ourselves. But there was this one that I saw it was this therapist who was like in her seventies and she was in Ireland and she's walking around in like this, you know, the quintessential Ireland landscape. [00:31:47] And she said, I tell all of my clients when you have a problem or a worry or something that's making you feel like you need to hurry, walk outside where you can see the sky and look up. Because the moment you remove a ceiling from your view, from your your line of sight, your mind opens with it. [00:32:08] And possibilities grow. And I have experienced that so often. And you think about it where you, when you're in a confined space. It only adds to those feelings of I'm stuck or I'm out of options, or I can't deal with this. But when you go outside and the world is just showing you how big it is and how small you are, there's actually a ton of comfort in that. [00:32:35] There's, I've also read and heard that there's something about the way that our eyes sort of gently move and follow and track side to side. Yeah. The movement around us that activates a similar calming sensation that our body experiences in REM sleep. Because if you're tracking a bird or tracking a squirrel, or just simply seeing like the trees and movement, track your kids. [00:32:55] Right. That'll keep you, your eyes all over the place. Girl. But like, 'cause right now we're facing a computer screen and we're in, we're under lights. Like, it's a very I mean, it's a lovely container, but it's a sterile container by comparison of being outside. And I Right. I do think that sometimes, like, like Lifeing. [00:33:11] It can be hard, and I never wanna oversimplify holding the challenges and moving through the challenges. Right. And yet I think sometimes when something feels overly, when something feels complex and impossible, it's almo. I, my instinct is to abandon the basics. And that is always the place to start. [00:33:32] That's always the place to start, is to go back to the basics. [00:33:35] Knowing what you know now what. Do you think the version of you, I wrote down three years ago, but I wanna go back to two years ago bef, like as you were navigating all the travel plans and the decision to go to the UK for your daughter's surgery, what do you think that version of Ashlyn needed to hear or needed to know? [00:33:55] And then the follow up question to that, after you answers, do you think she would've believed you? [00:33:59] It's really funny that you're asking this question because I actually had a conversation yesterday with a neighbor's daughter who is a film student, and this question has actually been going through my mind a lot lately about, I wonder where my life would be if I'd known this in my early thirties, if I'd known, or if I had known this in my twenties. [00:34:23] And I kept kind of going backwards like, I didn't know this then. Oh maybe if I'd known this. And I kept just, like I said, looking back and then what I realized is. It's so important that I didn't know those things because I had to experience them with the challenges. I had to climb the mountains for the first time to really understand the importance of gaining those skills for myself. So I actually think that Ashlyn, a couple years ago, I may have wanted to hear, I, what I wanted to hear was, you're making the right decision. I wanted to be validated by doctors, by people who I typically refer to as the ones who have the alphabet after their name. [00:35:06] Can somebody please just tell me, check, you know, you're making the right choice. Or this is what I would do if it were my child. And I wanted it so desperately that I, it did almost prevent me from going. But I am blessed that because of other experiences before that, right where pain had started to evolve into a guide for my life, a way of understanding what is most important to me. [00:35:37] It clarifies a lot. Exactly. Because often, you know, pain and fear are often about things we can't control, right? And what it showed me was that I don't need guaranteed outcomes to be able to sleep at night. I know that if I don't give it everything, including the kitchen sink, I won't be able to sleep at night. [00:36:03] I won't be able to look at Emery when she's an adult and tell her. We tried absolutely everything we could to give you the best quality of life, and that's what I needed to be able to give her. In order for me to feel good about the mom I am. And that's what was most important to me at that time. [00:36:23] So it sounds like maybe you trust in your ability to meet the moment enough that you don't think you would've gone back and told yourself anything? No, I think, and that's something that, like I said, I'd been thinking about a lot, like how many times if I'd only known this, if I if I'd only held my boundaries or if, or you know, these standards or, you know, all the things I could have done differently. [00:36:48] But as I said at the beginning of this, I feel like I have lived a thousand lives and become. A thousand new versions of myself, but you don't become your next self without going through something that carves away at you to reveal it. We don't grow through the easy no we stay stagnant. And besides small talk, my biggest fear in life is staying stagnant. [00:37:20] God, can we just let go of small talk? Oh my gosh. We all have a weather app and we all know the traffic patterns at this point. Like, do you know what's so funny about the weather app? I'm gonna use it every day. I treat my husband like the weather app, and we have an Alexa, like in, literally, like, I'll ask him what the temperature is and he'll be like. [00:37:41] Alexa. I just, oh my goodness. It's like those basic the basic like things of moving through life. I don't know why. It's like I've, I have this like faux that's of publicist. I'm like, I don't know what I'm, so what's the weather? I can't look out the window. I can't ask my own Alexa. [00:37:56] I always think, I think it's, I think it's more like, I think it's fair to acknowledge those as high. There's higher priorities that take up front of mind space. That's right. That's right. Things' so focused on the big things. Right? Yes. It's okay. We're not meant to like, you know, and I think that's another, that's one point I feel really compelled to bring up in this conversation based on all these things we've talked about, you know? [00:38:20] Yes. thank you for the chance to share what Parent Empowerment Network does, and the Empowered By Hope podcast is about addressing the real hard, the messy like, because as far as we're concerned, like once you get the news, your child is not okay. You're living in the messy middle from there on out. [00:38:36] And it can make you, or it can break you. And we're there to tell everybody, we promise this will make you. Even with worst case scenario, and that's a bold statement, but, you know, but it's one you've lived and I exactly. And I've seen countless others live, right? But I think it's so important that everybody, you know, I guess my dream would be if everybody could just realize we are not meant to carry pain and hardship and struggle by ourselves. [00:39:07] That's really what Parent Empowerment Network does. That's really what our podcast does, is it directly says to everybody who gets a chance to interact with us or who we have the honor to meet with. It just says, Hey, you are not expected to hold this alone. You know, put some of that on our plate. [00:39:24] Let's hold it together because it'll be better for everybody. It's not just you is like, again, that's what frees you from a victim mentality. You are not the only one who's ever experienced this. Right. You are not the only one who has suffered this way. And in by no means it's not to minimize. [00:39:40] Right. Exactly. It's not belittling it, it's not, it's definitely not dismissing it. But it's meant to serve as a lighthouse. Right. Our stories are unique. Yes, of course. And so that's, and I think that's what is endlessly, I will never be bored having an in-depth. Not small talk with the love of God, but like, I will never I will be endlessly fascinated by other people. [00:40:01] Because the stories are unique. Yeah. But there is a common thread that we can all see ourselves in or relate to. That, it's so enriching. Yeah. It's almost like, maybe because it's spring and, but I'm thinking it's like the pain is like the compost. Yeah. Something has to die in rotten decay in order to nurture something new. To grow. Yep. Exactly. And I, and that pain serves as fur. It's fertilizing the new, the next round of growth. Right. Yeah. It's not making anything vanish or destroying it, it's just, but it has to break down to build back up. I think that's why mosaics are my favorite type of art. [00:40:39] Yeah. I have such a strong connection to any piece that I see that's made up of a mosaic. And I remember that coming true for me when my dad had his massive stroke and. You know, he was completely debilitated, couldn't speak for himself, couldn't move his own body. He lived like that almost two years. But I remember getting really close to a couple key therapists in his life. [00:41:04] And I remember just after he passed, I got them both a small gift. It was these little mosaic art pieces for them. And I said, when I saw those, I knew that this was the right thing because you didn't see my dad as a destroyed person. You saw him as for the broken pieces. He was that to be put back, to be put together into something that was new and beautiful on its own. [00:41:33] And that's what I feel like pain has the ability to do for all of us. It's okay. And I to acknowledge that you are broken. But it's also just as important to acknowledge that you can be remade into something. You, the old you is gone. You know, when we go through something awful hard, unimaginable it's really easy to think that I will feel this way forever. There is a finality that we attach to painful experiences and it takes often somebody from the outside to gently help us realize that's not reality. I often, when I'm in that transition and I'm not aware or I'm just not ready to admit there are either, there's usually it's I there's usually things I wanna carry along with me. [00:42:28] Yep. It's like. Like an old dingy snugly blanket or like a stuffed animal that like has like holes worn in and like an eyes popped off. It's just but I when I've gone through those transitions, it's saying goodbye to maybe friendships that aren't serving me. [00:42:42] Yep. Or titles, roles levels of output expectations, stories, ways of being and the way, and to go back to pain as a professor, which is going to be the title. That it's only when I try to take the old way of being or the old relationship that is no longer serving into my new now reality. [00:43:04] When it feels anything other than good. Yeah. That's information exactly that it's showing me something and. That curiosity over constriction can also for me look like curiosity over criticism. And because that criticism is usually either dialed inward, what's wrong with me? Right. Or what's wrong with them? [00:43:25] Versus , what is happening Exactly. What's going on? What is this showing me? And I would say probably saying goodbye to relationships or friendships has probably been the hardest. Yeah. The hard, because there is this idea that I'm like if I like it, and it's like in a possessive way. [00:43:42] It's, if I like you forever. And I, and of course that is true. I mean, it, there's nobody who's been in my life that's added value that I don't appreciate. Right. But but I think that the shedding. Yeah. It's like I, I want the next thing, but I also don't wanna let the old thing go. [00:43:56] Right. And so it's, I think I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to like, pull that thing with me. Whatever it is and whatever that stage. But I think that there's when you can fully embrace, 'cause what I'm hearing from you is when you can fully embrace I am different now. [00:44:11] Yep. This is different. This mosaic. I'm not, I may not be able to carry water like I was as a vase. Right. But I'm gonna look really great as this. Yeah. And the other thing I wanna shift to before, before I get to your, don't cut your own bangs question. What I wanna ask you, you've mentioned art a couple of different times. [00:44:28] And this is to, to reference Dr. Martha Beck again. She has done a lot of incredible work in the last couple years where a way to. Step out of anxiety is not to try to access calm. 'cause we talked about going for a walk, right? So, because as much as I love these big conversations, it can be sometimes like, what is something tangible I can actually hold onto? [00:44:53] So walking with something we talked about community and connection with something else we talked about, but Art, I wanna talk about that for a moment because that is what my book was for me. Yeah. It was I created something that only that felt like it was to serve me. The process of interacting with that idea was so delightful and so delicious and so fun that I was like, I feel like I'm just the luckiest person that like this is, oh wow, I get to play with this thing. [00:45:21] Yeah. And it wants to play with me. And I don't feel that all the time. Like sometimes it's origami or doodling or coloring with my daughter. But to go back to Dr. Martha Beck's work that the opposite of anxiety is not calm, it's creativity. Oh, I love that. And you have by default really spoken through, like just healing through creating. [00:45:43] Oh, absolutely. And also there's something about, 'cause calm, there's something about calm that like, we must be still, and granted I love meditation, but like, I must be still, I must be calm. But when you are holding something that is buzzing and shaking or heavy or hot, like just some emotions are hot, like you, it's like you wanna move it through your hands or your words or your body and make something, right. [00:46:06] And you made me, she made me this bracelet before we started this episode. So like, it feels like you have a relationship with creativity too. A hundred percent. Creativity is a lifeline. And I feel like, and the most chaotic moments of my life have been the least I'm my least creative and I think it's a really. [00:46:29] Valuable, tangible thing for anybody to take from this conversation is if you are feeling out of control, lean into something as simple as I'm obsessed with those adult, you know, like the coloring books. Yes. You know, for adults to have like tons of different like lines all over the place that you have to be like really specific to keep the marker in there. [00:46:51] It can't, I do get a little bugged when it like bleeds over to the next section, but, , it's okay. I know I'm working through my, , my stressors at that moment. But yes, giving yourself a creative outlet, it's like taking a big drink of water after you've been exercising and you are so parched. [00:47:07] And I also agree that , calm sounds great in theory, but for me I feel like the more important, like the word that's become more important or I'm better able to. Absorb is the idea of am I grounded? Are my feet touching the ground? I can still have a lot going on, but when I'm like rising higher, you know, off the ground, 'cause like, I'm like a bird at this point, just flapping my arms so fast, right. [00:47:35] That I'm actually taking flight. I'm not in my best head space, but when I can just take a moment to literally just ground myself, make sure that my feet are, whether it's in the grass or sit down like this. And a conversation with a friend, somebody who really knows you is a great moment for that. [00:47:53] It's a great way to remind you who you are is somebody else. Sometimes I talk all the time about the value of when you can connect with somebody who feels with you, not just for you. Oh my gosh. It makes the world so much lighter and goodness. I mean, huh. That's probably if I could have answered the question I asked you a little bit ago, what's something that you could have if I could have told my former therapist self, like when I very when I first started, you're there to hold space for people to feel and feel with them. [00:48:23] Right. Exactly. You're not there. It's sacred. Yeah. It's there's nothing, one, it's like, there's nothing I can tell someone who's deeply in pain that they're actually gonna No. , That's, the words are just like, right. It's just noise. Yeah. And not to take anything. I'm sure I have clients who have been impacted by words. [00:48:40] But having a safe space to feel your feelings free of judgment. Is one of the reasons why I love journaling so much, but also doing that in communion Yeah. With another human right who expects nothing of you. I love Elizabeth Gilbert has language I love, like there's no precious outcome. [00:48:57] Like I can, that I can sit and have space with you or I can make plans with you or be, and there's no precious outcome. You don't have to perform for me. Right. You don't have to be anything for me. Like we can just be that is what a gift. Yes, that is. I just want to, this conversation has inspired way too many thoughts, but in the best way. [00:49:15] But something that hit me and then I think we could absolutely move on to Yeah. This the cut your bangs question. But what I've realized even in our conversation is that logic is not loud . our emotions are loud and they get louder and louder. The more we. Push them back the more we ignore them. [00:49:36] Think of your kids until they, when they need your attention. Because they deserve your attention. They do. The best thing we can do is acknowledge those emotions and just, even if it's as simple as, it's totally understandable. I feel this way right now. That is such a freeing sentence. Of course, I feel this way right now. [00:49:58] That was some serious shit that I just went through. Yeah . of course, I feel, and it doesn't have to make sense when those feelings hit the timing a lot of times feelings for me, I've found won't hit until I'm in a safe space much further down the road. Yes. And it's like being T-boned, like yes, totally out of the blue. [00:50:19] But that's also what happens to kids when they have tantrums. Ah, yeah. They'll hold. And then when they're finally either home at the end of the day or something, when the container is so full and they're finally in a place where they feel safe, they'll erupt over an orange peel not being peeled correctly. [00:50:32] Or , or a banana not being peeled correctly. Oh gosh. And it's not that, don't even start me on string cheese. God. Oh God. Parenting is fun. The best, but No, but you're right. Sometimes, I think that's probably why I cry almost with like every movie and TV show I watch. [00:50:47] Yeah. Because the emotions are just always right there and I just need a place to let it trickle out. Right. And that's okay. And I think, but just not judging ourselves for feelings. And then I think once we give that space or the feelings, the sooner we can do that, the sooner that logic, you know, like you, you mentioned multiple times, I know this, then you give logic. [00:51:13] The space that it needs to speak to you in a calm and quiet manner that you can actually trust. And that's where I think that those gut feelings truly come from. Those inner knowings are, when you've allowed space for the emotions first, given them their due. So then the logic can start to talk to you because it's never going to yell for your attention. [00:51:35] No. And I think we want it to, but that's not the way it works. And that's okay. A lot of times things make sense in hindsight, oh gosh, hindsight's 2020. Always. South Park has a great episode. If people if you have just like a dark sense of humor and you wanna laugh at, there's a character called Captain Hindsight and it's really funny. [00:51:54] . So yeah, a lot of times things don't make sense until we're. A little bit more removed from them. Yep. And some what I have found to be helpful, I've noticed you using your hands. Yeah. And I find when I am, when my mind is really active and I need it to stop or slow down or I just i'll sometimes even throw my hands up. Yeah. And I'll say, and even saying. I'm feeling something and just to myself in my kitchen. 'cause I'm almost always , because I work from home, I'm either like in my office or in my kitchen, like I'm feeling something. As soon as you did that, it's gonna show on video. [00:52:25] I like saw from the corner of my eye myself, naturally going, whew. Yeah. Just sound like inhale. Exhale. Yes. It's like something is being felt. Something's happening. I don't know what it is, but something's happening. And I think, in a lot of ways too, like that's how we have these internal smoke signals. [00:52:42] Yeah. And it's the same way, like your smoke detector in your house doesn't know the difference between burnt toast and something on fire, right? But it will beep when it senses. Yeah. When it senses something. And so my body is like sensing something. Is this a threat? [00:52:56] Are we safe? Yes, we're safe. Oh, we're likely. We just needed water. We're just dehydrated. Uhhuh. Or we just, yeah. So any number of things. But that was so good. Thank you. And yes, I would love, love, love to know your don't cut your own bang moment. And for anybody who is new to the podcast, 'cause I think there are some new people here. [00:53:15] Thank you for being here. Don't cut Your own bang moment is a moment where you went all in on something like cutting your own bangs, you grabbed some scissors, you watched a YouTube video, you're like, I got this. And you go, and then, oh no, this wasn't what I thought it would be. But the value in a don't Cut Your own Bang moment is not only that we can share in the silliness of humanity and mistakes, but also like maybe we learn something from it. [00:53:42] So, Ashlyn? Yes. I would love to hear your Don't cut your own bang moment. Oh my goodness. I think that there's probably a plethora of them. Oh, of course. And, let's see here. I'm even, I tried to have one prepared, and then I got excited about the rest of our conversation. Oh my gosh. Don't worry. So, okay I'll share one. [00:53:58] So what's a good, don't a good, oh. I invited my husband to record a podcast with me because I thought it would just be, , fun to bring him back on. And what I realized was I didn't prepare him for it at all. I just set up lights and set up a camera and asked him to sit. And he was so, visibly like he was trying, he was sitting, he was trying. [00:54:23] But I could just tell, again, something's happening. And I could tell he was a little uncomfortable and a little stiff. And I kept, because our eyes look out. My first assumption is, what's wrong out there? And I was like, what are you okay? What's wrong? And he he was , I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing. [00:54:41] And then I was like. Oh, no, it was snip the bangs. I didn't provide any context. I didn't give him any preparation for what we'd be talking about, why we'd be talking like he had no context. And the whole setup is different, uhhuh. And it was such a humbling, settling moment of context. [00:55:04] It's I'm writing something right now about this idea of play. I'm a freedom loving, freedom seeking play hungry, greedy person right now. I want more play. I could never get enough. But what makes play feel fun and safe is to understand the context. Yeah. , There's rules in a game. [00:55:20] Otherwise, what is it? And I, my first instinct is to buck. Rules. I don't like ingredient lists. I don't like recipes. I just wanna feel my way through it. But, if you wanna make a beautiful croissant, you can't just feel your way through that. There's a very exacting way to do it. And so, it, it was such a one, I'm endlessly grateful for him and his patients with me. [00:55:40] I'm grateful that , our dynamics not new, so he probably knew what was going on, but just did yeah he's pretty sweet that way. But I, it was such a refresher that , if I wanna create a space and container to play safely with people Yeah. I need to give them the context. Absolutely. And it doesn't matter how long I've known someone, how well I know someone. [00:55:59] I laughed at myself because I, the part of the reason why it feels funny to me, but in like a humbling way. I thought the problem was him for like the first 15 minutes. I was like, what dude? Relax. I was like, what? Is he doing it right? [00:56:12] Yeah. like come on. And I was like. Oh no. Context. Zero. Oh my goodness. So that was a great one. Thank you. Okay, I'm gonna do mine in like short seconds because this one just hap this that inspired me perfectly. So my 8-year-old son and I are both going to the same therapist right now. [00:56:30] I'm a believer everybody should have at least an annual checkup with a therapist, but that's a great endorsement. Everyone should have an you annual checkup. You welcome, reach out to Danielle, she's fantastic. If you live in Indiana, by all means. If not, we'll help you find someone. Yes. And also order the book. [00:56:44] Yes, order the book. Get resting the wall risk. Get treasured. Yes. But go on please. So anyway one, one of the things that my I, the reason I love the person we're working with is because she's the first therapist I've worked with when it comes to, with my kids, she actually tells me what I can work on rather than just , you're doing the best you can and like you just love 'em. [00:57:03] And like, yes, I know, but that is not helping me. And so one of the things that got pointed out to me. Was so Cole , has very low frustration tolerance, like more so than is necessarily healthy for an 8-year-old. And of course with all the trauma with our his sister, our journey, it's understandable. [00:57:22] So we're working on that. What she kindly pointed out to me was, okay, we could work on his, but do you also realize that your tolerance for acceptable emotions is about this big? Oh, she's , therapist, be therapist Uhhuh. She's , but there's like a whole lot more emo like, she's , it's like a whole rainbow. [00:57:42] We need a whole arc for acceptable emotions. She's so you need to stop making it your responsibility to control which emotions he experiences. And it's up to you to provide the solid ground for him no matter which emotion comes up for him. And I will say that has changed my parenting in the last week. [00:58:04] More than maybe anything has like faster than anything. Because all of a sudden I'm like, of course it's acceptable that his sister just made him extremely mad. Of course it's understandable that he's jealous or sad or excited or whatever the feeling is, but it also doesn't define him as right or wrong, what emotions he's experiencing in that moment. [00:58:28] And the big thing was the realization that every emotion he experiences is not a direct reflection of who I am as a parent. No. Because that was what I needed to let go of that any emotion that is considered negative that my child has doesn't mean. That I'm doing a bad job as a parent. Oh my God. [00:58:49] That is one. What a beautiful. Don't cut. Thank you. With Dr. Sarah. Yes. Thank you, Dr. Sarah. You'd be therapizing all up in that session. That was so good. And it's the, that to me is a great example that hard truths can always be delivered with kindness. Yeah. But I think the big important thing there is you had the right context. [00:59:12] Exactly. You went to her for that information. Right. It wasn't like someone on the street. But the thing that we can't give someone what we don't have. Exactly. And I actually think that what you just said, if there was ever an endorsement for what. Self-care actually is not the commoditized, right. [00:59:29] Faux sense of, I'm gonna create a problem and I'm going to prescribe collagen. Did you know that the reason why, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah is these things that you need to buy and, oh, my program for blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm gonna, I have all that stuff. I'm not I'm wanna, I wanna keep it in perspective. [00:59:45] I am drinking the same Kool-Aid 'cause I'm getting sent the same algorithm ads that we're all getting sent. Like I'm doing colostrum now. I don't even know. Like, I just, because I was like, my gut might grow up I own, but anyway but I think self-care and the best possible context is when you nurture. [01:00:03] And heal yourself. It becomes the medicine. Yes. Yes. And the offering for the other people in your life that you love most. It's like as you increase your own palette of what you're able to allow yourself to experience, you're then also able to see it in your son and give it to him. That is so beautiful and it's hard. [01:00:26] Sometimes, but it's some God that a well timed, articulated loving truth like that can change your life. Yeah. That is amazing. Thank you. I don't know, we can't top that. That was good. We're good. That was real good. Ashlyn Thompson, thank you so much for coming back and we're going to have you back. [01:00:43] You have to come back. Yes. And you're coming over to Empowered by Hope very soon. I would love that so much. And Yes. And so all of the ways, if you or anyone you know in your life has been impacted by a little one with complex me complex medical issues and you want some support, you want some information, you want some resources. [01:01:01] The link in the show notes will have every way that you can connect with Ashlyn, her business partner, and what was formally Charlotte's Hope Foundation, what is now the Parent Empowerment Network. Pick up all the books, all the resources, everything I talked about too for my stuff is also in there. [01:01:16] But , it's all linked for you there. So I hope that you get what you need and. Thanks so much, . Oh my gosh. [01:01:21] If you've ever wanted to pick up journaling,
Learn more about Level 1 Functional Pelvic Health Practitioner programGet certified in pelvic health from the OT lens hereGrab your free AOTA approved Pelvic Health CEU course here.Learn more about my guestFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/doug.vestal.5Website: https://www.freedomofpractice.com/____________________________________________________________________________________________Pelvic OTPs United - Lindsey's off-line interactive community for $39 a month! Inside Pelvic OTPs United you'll find: Weekly group mentoring calls with Lindsey. She's doing this exclusively inside this community. These aren't your boring old Zoom calls where she is a talking head. We interact, we coach, we learn from each other. Highly curated forums. The worst is when you post a question on FB just to have it drowned out with 10 other questions that follow it. So, she's got dedicated forums on different populations, different diagnosis, different topics (including business). Hop it, post your specific question, and get the expert advice you need. More info here. Lindsey would love support you in this quiet corner off social media!
We watched CHINA STRIKE FORCE, a multinational hong kong action movie starring Coolio as a guy named Coolio. Its not just a cameo though. He's the big bad and he literally does Kung Fu in it. Alex (aka @steadybloggn ) came through to help us decode the film.Join our supporters club and listen to our classic episodes plus bonus content. Just five dollars/month. https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bodegaboxoffice--1441069/supportHere's the last time we talked about Coolio in a film - DRACULA 3000
Send us a textEric, Neil and David talk about one of the greatest action movies of the 1990's, Speed. It still holds up, and we have quite a few random topics thrown in as well. Hop on the bus and join us!
First up, Amy Klobuchar…did our BBW invite get lost in the mail? Did we bump our heads and forget that we were honored attendees?? Ames??????But headlining this episode is a BRAND NEW *I CAN FIX HER* JINGLE!! Thank you listener Krista!!! We simply had to share it and therefore are reporting on that which is fixing us. Namely wax strips and a certain piece of non-religious literature sent by an anonymous Tom ;)Next, our values are up for grabs–is the short stubby screw worm a snake? Call in with your thoughts (703) 829-0003 or vote in the Spotify poll! Plus, a conspiracy/mystery we want your thoughts on. “New Drivers” are grifting our asses??? We don't believe you! You can't ALL be new here, we won't stand for it! You're gonna start getting cut off from those stickers AND cut off in traffic, sweeties. Prepare yourselves
Hop in a pickup as we head out into the National Elk Refuge outside Jackson, WY to hear all about the debate over whether to wean elk off winter feeding before chronic wasting disease strikes.
How did Mr. Box and Mr. Sizzle get paired up? Why does the superhero school have all these fantasy and sci-fi reference? And can we answer some questions from the entire podcast for someone catching up? All that and more in this Afterparty!We're playing Masks for this campaign! You can access a running list of all the NPCs from Campaign 4 here.Sponsors- Mage Hand Press, whose Gunslinger class is now available on D&D Beyond. Check out their work at magehandpress.comFind Us Online- website: https://jointhepartypod.com- patreon: https://patreon.com/jointhepartypod- instagram: https://instagram.com/jointhepartypod- twitter: https://twitter.com/jointhepartypod- tumblr: https://jointhepartypod.tumblr.com- facebook: https://facebook.com/jointhepartypod- merch & music: http://jointhepartypod.com/merchCast & Crew- Game Master, Co-Producer: Eric Silver- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Sound Designer, Composer (Connor Lyons): Brandon Grugle- Co-Host, Co-Producer, Editor (Shelley Craft): Julia Schifini- Co-Host, Co-Producer (Rowan Rosen): Amanda McLoughlin- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman- Multitude: https://multitude.productionsAbout UsJoin the Party is an actual play podcast with tangible worlds, genre-pushing storytelling, and collaborators who make each other laugh each week. We welcome everyone to the table, from longtime players to folks who've never touched a roleplaying game before. Hop into our current campaign: the drama and excitement of a superhero high school! Or marathon our completed stories: Campaign 3 for a pirate story set in a world of plant- and bug-folk, the Camp-Paign for a MOTW game set in a weird summer camp, Campaign 2 for a modern superhero game, and Campaign 1 for a high fantasy story. And once a month we release the Afterparty, where we answer your questions about the show and how we play the game. New episodes every Tuesday.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In space, no one can hear the Drunk Guys drink this week when they read Atmosphere: A Love Story by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Houston, they have a drinking problem: Pixie Dust Special Pride Edition by Sloop, I'm a Grown Ass Cat by Fat Orange Cat, and Beer Trip'd by Hop