Get Sherah’d

Have some holiday gatherings you are a little nervous about attending? This episode is for you. I walk through what a holiday care plan could look like and give you some ideas to map out your own. A little oops as recording messed up at the end and cut off my farewell! So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for one one consulting sessions at sherahjanell.com

Three final thoughts as I wrap up this series. Listen for the voice of love, Love is not in a hurry, Love is not agreement. Want to learn how to practice love? Book one on one sessions with Sherah at SherahJanell.com or keep up with her on insta @sherah.janell

In this episode I demonstrate one of the meditative exercises I enjoy taking clients through as a way to start learning how Love feels in our bodies. This is one of the best ways to begin healing from Trauma, to become aware of what things feel like in our bodies. I am willing to do more like this if my listeners are interested. So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for one one consulting sessions at sherahjanell.com

In this episode continuing the Love Series we cover how love always gives us options and we get a small glimpse of how this can help us live our lives. I breifly touch on Ecosystems in this episode and if you haven't listened to my entire episode on Ecosystems, I encourage to do so! (Episodes #2 and #10, *eyeroll* it's a popular subject) If you are interested in diving into how this is specifically affecting your everyday life and keeping you from the options that are available to you, click the website link before to learn more about one on one sessions. So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for one one consulting sessions at sherahjanell.com

Today we continue our Love Series by covering a question that I received on instagram about this series. Boundaries is one of THE BIGGEST structures in Love and I could talk for hours about boundaries. I am sure there will be more episodes on Boundaries but here is one! So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for one one consulting sessions at sherahjanell.com

This week in the Love series we cover some Love Practices to adopt for your daily routine. This is a good place to start if this subject has felt a little conceptual and not very applicable to your every day life. So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for one one consulting sessions at sherahjanell.com

Has anyone every told you why Love is so Terrifying? In this episode Sherah talks about the 2 main reasons Love is terrifying: Love doesn't let us hide and Love believes we are greater than what we think we are. Have questions about this subject?? Hop on over to my insta and let me know! So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for one on one consulting sessions at sherahjanell.com

I have started a series on Love and exploring what it is and isn't. Today I share a little bit about Love and my Faith. So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for sessions at sherahjanell.com

I have been hesitant to start this series due to the controversy that might come to the surface. But I am beginning to see the magnitude of freedom this subject is giving my clients and I can't avoid it anymore. Join me on the adventure of discovering the freedom Love has given me over the past 9 years. So excited to have you join me here! Stay connected by following me on insta @sherah.janell Or sign up for sessions at sherahjanell.com

You guys asked for it!! Here is last week's grad homework assignment! There are a variety of sexual challenges or dysfunctions that any person and couple can face. Erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, low libido, and painful sex are just a couple of the things couples can face. When addressing these issues, they are best approached through a systemic approach which means viewing the dysfunction through a variety of lenses to see what contributing factors there are. For many this can be helpful considering the following statistic. In some cases, as many as 77.5% of female partners whose male partner is experiencing a sexual dysfunction also qualify for a sexual dysfunction, suggesting a high rate of comorbid or co-occurring sexual disorders for relationship partners (Hobbs et al. 2008; Kaya et al. 2015). Having a systemic approach in navigating these issues could be very helpful and assist in resolving possible comorbidities. When using a systemic approach there are a wide variety of perspectives to keep in mind. We can start with the individual to gather information. Additionally, the therapist will work with the client's psychological system which “is composed of … personality (including personality disorders), psychopathology, intelligence, temperament, developmental stages and deficits, attitudes, values, [and] defense mechanisms” (Hertlein et al. 2015, p. 48). And then move to the wider perspectives which would be dyadic work. An Intersystem Approach, as presented here, allows clinicians to incorporate multiple factors into treatment, including dyadic, individual, societal, cultural, family of origin, and religious. This gives both the clinician and the couple a more systemic and comprehensive understanding of how each person's individual issues impact the dyadic relationship which impacts the couple's sexual relationship, satisfaction, and levels of dysfunction. (Davies, B., Gibbons, I., & Hughes, A. 2021) Assume that you have a couple who comes to you for challenges in communication, and, as you continue with them, you learn that one partner has erectile dysfunction and the other partner struggles with painful sexual activity because of medications they are taking. Both partners share they want a more active sex life, and they have both sought medical interventions with no resolution. As a result, they report a lack of sex in their lives and feeling like there is no hope. Knowing that a large part of the struggle appears to be medical, how can you approach therapy with this couple? (Davies, B., Gibbons, I., & Hughes, A. 2021) Some approach's that are going to be helpful for this couple are going to be Emotion Focused Therapy, Sensate Touch Practice, and a preventative plan for relapse. Some of the issues this couple could also be facing is a history of sexual abuse, previous relationship patterns, and internalized belief systems ab out gender roles in a relationship. If we do not use a systemic approach, we will miss an opportunity to find the other things also affecting the presenting issue. Specifically, Dave and Cindy's sex life was influenced by unhealthy relationship patterns, individual biological issues and sexual scripts passed down through their history, families and society. Treatment using the Intersystem Approach would need to focus on the dyadic need to increase emotional intimacy and connection. (Davies, B., Gibbons, I., & Hughes, A. 2021) Davies, B., Gibbons, I., & Hughes, A. (2021). Treating comorbid sexual dysfunctions using the intersystem sex therapy approach. Contemporary Family Therapy, 43, 12–19. Hertlein, K. M., Weeks, G. R., & Gambescia, N. (2015). Systemic sex therapy (Vol. 20, No. 2–3). New York: Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Hobbs, K., Symonds, T., Abraham, L., May, K., & Morris, M. F. (2008). Sexual dysfunction in partners of men with premature ejaculation. International Journal of Impotence Research, 20(5), 512. https://doi.org/10.1

I developed a tool called The Famous Five (named by a client!) which is loosely based on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The Famous Five is so important because at the core this is a tool to assist in regulating the nervous system and cultivating trust with your body. The Famous Five covers: Eating when you are hungry, resting when you are tired, drinking water when you are thirsty, moving every day, and using the bathroom when you notice (no more waiting as long as you can!) This is the number one tool I recommend to clients to learn how to get back into their body, build trust with themselves, and regulate their nervous system. You can find a free downloadable PDF in my bio on my Instagram @sherah.janell Currently, I offer a $99 single session (a $45 discount!) in which we focus in how this integration can change your life. You can sign up for sessions at sherahjanell.com

bahahhahah ok you asked for it!! This is my graduate homework assignment for this week. Here are my notes!! Would love to know your questions~ “When Sexual Needs and Expectations Among Partners Differ.” For this assignment, you are a special guest on a podcast channel titled “Getting the Most Out of Your Relationship.” The four couple sexual styles (in order of frequency) are as follows: 1. Complementary—“mine and ours” 2. Traditional—“conflict minimizing” 3. Best friend—“soul mate” 4. Emotionally expressive—“fun and erotic” (McCarthy & Ross, 2019) The relational style acts as the most important variable in creating a respectful, trusting, emotional commitment, while the couple sexual style involves the balance of sexual autonomy while being an intimate sexual team who integrate intimacy and eroticism into their relationship. (McCarthy & Ross, 2019) McCarthy, B., & Ross, L. W. (2019) Relational style and couple sexual style: Similar or different. The Family Journal, 27(3), 245-249. The four primary couple sexual styles by order of frequency are: (a) complementary (i.e., “mine and ours”), (b) traditional (i.e., conflict minimizing), (c) best friend (i.e., soul mate), and (d) emotionally expressive (i.e., fun and erotic). (McCarthy & Ross, 2018) Sexuality is an interpersonal process of sharing desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction, not an individual sex performance. Although couple sexuality can have a number of roles, meanings, and outcomes, the ultimate focus is reinforcing the intimate bond. (McCarthy & Ross, 2018) McCarthy B., & Ross L. W. (2018). Maintaining sexual desire and satisfaction in securely bonded couples. The Family Journal, 26(2), 217-222. 2 BDSM BDSM is the conscious use of “psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth” (Wiseman, 1996), Wiseman, J. (1996). SM 101: A realistic introduction [e-book version]. San Francisco, CA: Greenery Press. Retrieved from https://books.google.ca/books/about/SM_101. html?id=qRCrzBqMSX0C&redir_esc=y BDSM behaviours are not new phenomena—they are described in the classic text, the Kama Sutra (Castleman, 2012) Castleman, M. (2012). A loving introduction to BDSM. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https:// www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201206/loving-introduction-bdsm 2 BDSM A genuine and unbiased therapist would be able to assist new and experienced individual members of the BDSM community and those members involved in D/S relationships. (Hillier, 2018) The BDSM culture contains numerous subcultures and unique relationships. (Hillier, 2018) Hillier, K. M. (2018). Counselling diverse groups: Addressing counsellor bias toward the BDSM and D/S subculture. Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 52(1), 65. 1 Asexual Asexuality is broadly defined as a lack of sexual attraction to anyone or a disinterest of being sexual with others Diamond's biobehavioral model of love and sexual desire posits that sexual desire and romantic love are functionally and developmentally independent, where sexual attraction is governed by reproduction and romantic attraction is governed by attachment and pair bonding. (Diamond, 2003) Diamond, L. M. (2003). What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire. Psychological Review,110, 173–192.

CW and TW: child abuse and sexual assault Wow! We are at the end of the docuseries on Hulu called The Deep End. Melanie Huggard and I breakdown the final episode and there is so much to cover. This episode we cover autonomy, gaslighting, choice, and safety.

CW/TW: sexual assault, child abuse. Today Melanie and I are covering Episode 3 of the docuseries The Deep End hosted on Hulu. So many things come to light and Melanie and I are here to break it down for you! Even if you aren't watching the series with us, these episodes are packed full of content to help you begin to recognize healing cycles or hurting cycles. This episode covers channeling, the problem with assumption, gaslighting, and boundaries.

In this episode, we are breaking down Episode 2 of The Deep End on Hulu. Trigger and content warnings are discussed. For this round Sherah made notes and Melanie did not. So we went off of the outline my notes created. Power dynamics, necromancy, boundaries, and the function of community are discussed. If you are following this podcast as well as watching the series on Hulu, next week is going to get interesting! Check out Sherah on sherahjanell.com and find her on insta @sherah.janell Check out Melanie on melaniehuggard.com and follow her book-writing journey on insta @momdaughterconnection

Join me and Melanie Huggard as we watch the Teal Swan Documentary, The Deep End on Hulu. Melanie and I watch each episode and then give commentary on things we notice as coaches. Watch the Documentary Episode before you listen to form your own opinion or listen to the podcast episodes before you watch to be able to notice the things we are pointing out. Did you enjoy this episode? Leave a review!

There has been a new documentary on Hulu about Teal Swan. My friend Melanie Huggard and I are watching it together and sharing some of the things we notice. This episode covers a little bit of how we want to approach it and the things we are aware of commenting on t a documentary.

If you are new here I grew up in Purity Culture and Courtship Culture and dating was scary as all get out. This episode talks a little bit about lowering the stakes in dating so that no matter the outcome you are always successful. If you find that dating is overwhelming, that's ok. You can set yourself up for success by rewriting some of the "rules" of dating.

Maslows Hierarchy is my favorite Theory in Psychology. The coaching method I created is based loosely on this theory and I want to take a minute and break it down for you! Imagine a pyramid of building blocks the base being the most important to be able to get to the top. These are how our needs in life work and we cannot move from one thing to the next until that building block is established. I hope this brief look at Maslow's Hierarchy gets you a little excited about the possiblities.

Do you struggle with setting, keeping, or maintaining boundaries?? This episode is for you! Today we cover what makes advocating for ourselves so difficult. Boundaries are super helpful and keep us out of abusive, toxic, codependent, narcissistic relationships. When you begin to agree with your value and worth you choose people who also agree with your value and worth! If you would like to learn more about boundary work my 4 session packages are on sale for all of May!! Use code MAYLOVE to receive a $95 discount and let's get started!

Why viewing you life through the mindset of "ecosystem" is one of the most powerful steps you can make towards your healing

As we welcome in a new year Sherah shares her views on cultivating vs hustling. She looks at the difference between them and how they can be redefined. To stay connected, follow Sherah on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com

Sherah shares how we can learn to move towards love, increasing our capacity to receive love and give love. To stay connected, follow Sherah on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com

We all live having to fulfill certain roles; friend, spouse, parent, sibling etc…. Sometimes the lines between roles can become blurred therefore causing strain in different areas of life. Sherah takes a deeper look into this concept and shares how to “stay in your lane” throughout your different relationships. To stay connected, follow Sherah on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com

Everyone has a story of pain. Sherah shares how she changed her relationship with pain, which led to freedom. To stay connected, follow Sherah on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com

Are you an empath/feeler? Sherah shares to tools she has learned as a empath/feeler. These skills will help you avoid becoming overwhelmed and burned out. To stay connected, follow Sherah on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com

Reaching new goals or changing habits in life can feel overwhelming and impossible. In this episode Sherah shares how she creates momentum to reach her goals and keep moving forward! To stay connected, follow on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com

Sherah shares how she views each individuals life like an “ecosystem”, when elements are taken away or added does it create “life” or “death”? To stay connected, follow on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com

Sherah explores the question “what if you aren't broken?” The idea of being broken felt hopeless to Sherah. So she left that mindset behind to search for something that could offer hope and insight. To stay connected, follow her on Instagram at @sherah.janell or if you're interested in starting your own journey to healing check out her website sherahjanell.com