Podcasts about Relational

In this special Business of Woo-themed episode of The Skeptical Shaman podcast, host Rachel White (of TOTEM Readings) chats with friend Kristen Pavle (of Relational and Ember) all about her work in creating and managing community, both online and in-person, for various businesses, nonprofits and community organizations.The crux of this episode? How can we-- either in the Business of Woo, at our "normal" day jobs, or just in society in general-- identify, build and maintain community? Kristen breaks down the definition of community, why it matters for small businesses (and for us as human beings!), and how it's changed in the strange last five years. She also gets into the nitty gritty of what makes a community work or NOT work, and Rachel and Kristen dig into the nuances within the realm of "spiritual community" and its classic pitfalls: spiritual narcissists, grifters, unstable Cluster-B types, and those suffering from "Main Character Syndrome". In a post-Covid, work-from-home, gig economy world, creating community has never been harder-- but it's also never been more important! Thankfully, Kristen shares incredible insights, practical solutions, and the all-important dose of hope to get us going.LINKS:Rachel's Website: https://www.totemreadings.comTOTEM Readings Substack: https://totemrach.substack.comRachel's Other Links: https://linktr.ee/totemrachPlease support the Sponsors of The Skeptical Shaman Podcast:The TOTEM Flower Essence Deck: https://a.co/d/gw16LsGThe TOTEM Tarot Deck: https://totemreadingsatx.etsy.com/listing/1492934343The TOTEM Flower Essences: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TotemReadingsATXTOTEM Spiritual Transformation Coaching: https://www.totemreadings.com/coachingTOTEM Business of Woo Mentoring: https://www.totemreadings.com/business-of-wooKristen's Links:Website: https://www.emberconsulting.co/Email: kristen@relational.orgLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kpavle/Please note: The views and opinions expressed on The Skeptical Shaman do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, protected class, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. And remember: sticks and stones may break our bones, but words—or discussions of religious or spiritual topics-- will never hurt us.

To schedule an Intro Call with Luke 10, go to: https://LK10.com/introIn this episode of Stories from the Revolution, host John White sits down with his long-time friend, Kent Larson, to discuss the pitfalls of traditional church leadership structures. Kent shares his experiences of feeling silenced and undervalued in a megachurch environment and how he found renewed purpose and joy through the LK10 community. This engaging conversation sheds light on the dangers of narcissistic leadership and emphasizes the importance of relational community where every voice is heard. 00:00 Introduction and Painful Leadership Experiences01:06 Welcome to Stories from the Revolution02:02 Kent Larson's Journey in Church Leadership03:13 C hallenges in Traditional Church Structures12:30 Discovering Luke 10 and Relational Communities16:48 Freedom and New Beginnings18:57 Conclusion and Invitation to Luke 10----------

Being a Relational Church with Pastor Al DOering.based off of John 13:34-45, Ephesians 4:2-3, & John 15:5-7.More information is available at www.narrative.church

In today's episode with special guest Ari Gerzon-Kessler, Lindsay discusses the topic of relational family engagement as it relates to parents, students, and educators.     Liked this episode? Rate, review, and share!   Get In Touch With Ari Gerzon-Kessler: Website: www.sameteamconsulting.org LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arigerzon-kessler/ Email: arigerzon@gmail.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Same-Team-Underrepresented-opportunity-achievement/dp/1958590010/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=8egM8&content-id=amzn1.sym.9071a05a-ab8a-4eb5-82ca-461a3b81eab8%3Aamzn1.symc.a68f4ca3-28dc-4388-a2cf-24672c480d8f&pf_rd_p=9071a05a-ab8a-4eb5-82ca-461a3b81eab8&pf_rd_r=DJVF1HV92PPSA3WB88HG&pd_rd_wg=KPRCi&pd_rd_r=a0c1b955-acdd-4362-9dce-a778750016e4&ref_=pd_hp_d_atf_ci_mcx_mr_ca_hp_atf_d   Get Your Episode Freebie & More Resources On My Website: https://www.lindsaybethlyons.com/blog/235   Lindsay's Links: LinkedIn: @lindsaybethlyons  Instagram: @lindsaybethlyons Facebook Group: Time for Teachership

Learning to live in relationship is a skill, and one that many of us have not learned, let alone even considered. But to have the intimate, connected relationships we innately crave, it is imperative we learn to move into 'we' thinking, considering our spouse and our relationship just as much as we consider ourselves. When we can deeply desire our spouse's happiness and fulfillment just as much as our own, when we truly desire to understand them and be a part of making their life significantly better, then we are on the path to living relationally. If we just want to do what we want, we have no business being in relationship because choosing another person in our lives means we are also choosing to stop asking who is right, and instead focus on what is right for the relationship. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #110 The Cost of Being Right on Apple on Spotify #156 The Benefits of Being Wrong on Apple on Spotify #217 Self-Respect and Being Wrong on Apple on Spotify #216 One Up and One Down Relationships on Apple on Spotify #244 The Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship on Apple on Spotify #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #333 Sense of Self and Dating on Apple on Spotify #334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify #335 Sense of Self and Parenting on Apple on Spotify #336 Sense of Self and Our Spirituality on Apple on Spotify #337 Sense of Self and Our Sexuality on Apple on Spotify #375 Sense of Self and the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Self-worth is the operating system running your relationships, career, stress, sex life—even your biology. Update it and everything upgrades.Self-worth ≠ self-esteem. Dr. John maps 5 realms that shape love, success, health, and meaning—plus simple practices to feel enough now.Self-worth isn't a warm fuzzy—it's the master switch for how you love, lead, and live. In this episode, Dr. John breaks down The 5 Realms of Self-Worth — Inner, Relational, Achievement, Embodied, and Existential—and shows why chasing self-esteem (external approval) keeps you stuck while building self-worth (inherent value) sets you free. Expect science, stories, irreverence, and real-world practices men actually use.You'll learn: The clean split between self-esteem (weather) and self-worth (climate) How self-worth changes your nervous system, not just your mood Why achievement-based value leads to burnout—and what to do instead Repair > defend: the 30-second reset that deepens connection Two micro-practices that start rewiring “not enough” todayPerfect for: high-performing men, partners who love them, and anyone tired of hustling for approval. 03:10 Self-esteem ≠ self-worth (and why that matters) 07:20 Realm 1—Inner: upgrading the voice in your head 14:05 Realm 2—Relational: love, boundaries, repair 20:40 Realm 3—Achievement: worth beyond output 27:15 Realm 4—Embodied: your body's self-worth story 33:30 Realm 5—Existential: meaning, purpose, service 40:00 Close: one realm up, all realms riseIf this hits home, share it with a guy who's crushing goals but starving for “enoughness.”Connect Like An Evolved Caveman: TheEvolvedCaveman.com GuideToSelf.com

Relational Discernment | Robbie Hilton | Calvary Church

Comments or feedback? Send us a text! In this conversation, we speak with psychotherapist and author Melissa Fulgieri, LCSW about her powerful book Healing Relational Trauma, which offers a deeply human and integrative approach to understanding the ways our early relationships shape who we become. We explore how awareness, compassion, and self-trust can help us move from survival to connection—transforming old patterns rooted in attachment wounding and developmental trauma.  The conversation also touches on themes of reparenting, nervous system regulation, relational repair, and the ongoing process of finding safety within ourselves and others.Themes of DiscussionUnderstanding Relational Trauma: Moving beyond “big T” events to include chronic emotional disconnection and unmet needs.The Legacy of Attachment: How early caregiving experiences shape self-worth, emotional regulation, and intimacy in adulthood.Breaking Cycles: Recognizing and transforming unconscious relational patterns that keep us stuck in repetition.Embodied Healing: Learning to recognize trauma responses in the body and fostering regulation through awareness and self-compassion.Boundaries and Self-Trust: Reclaiming agency and rebuilding a sense of safety when these capacities were never modeled.Connection as Medicine: Viewing relationships not as sources of pain to avoid, but as opportunities for repair and growth.Integrative Approaches: How modalities like CBT, family systems, mindfulness, and EFT can work together in trauma recovery.Cultural & Generational Context: Understanding how family legacies and social systems influence the experience of healing.Seeing Wounds as Invitations: Embracing pain as a portal to deeper authenticity, resilience, and relational depth.Melissa Fulgieri, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, author, adjunct professor, and speaker specializing in trauma-informed care and relational dynamics. With over a decade of clinical experience, she works with individuals and couples to address the enduring impact of childhood trauma on adult attachment, emotional regulation, and interpersonal functioning.Her integrative framework blends trauma-focused CBT, family systems theory, emotionally focused therapy (EFT), and mindfulness-based approaches. Melissa is the author of The Couples Therapy Activity Book and Healing Relational Trauma, and is recognized for her grounded, compassionate, and accessible clinical voice. She maintains a private practice in New York and teaches in graduate-level social work programs.Connect with Melissa:

Group Guide Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week. TranscriptWell, good morning. My name is Chet. I'm one of the pastors here. We are working our way through our membership commitment. It's different for us. We're normally working our way through books of the Bible, but we've taken the fall to just kind of go, hey, we collectively are following Jesus together as a church family. And what are the things that we've committed to? What are the things that we believe? And then kind of, what, how have we designed how we're going to live life together? So we, we are on commitment number 11 out of 14. It's just a one sheet piece of paper that we say, yes, this is what we're trying to do here. It's kind of our outline for discipleship. I want to begin by showing you this tweet that kind of made the rounds a while back. I think it's a good intro to what we're talking about today. It says, nobody talks about Jesus. Miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s. The point of that tweet is it's hard to have relationships. Being friends with people is difficult. You're doing well if you've got one. But this idea that you'd have a lot and that they would stay together and you'd be able to keep working things out. And the reality is in the church, Jesus says that they'll know you're my disciples by the way, you love one another. So that it is supposed to look different for us, that the church is supposed to put this picture of what love and relationships are, are meant to look like and be able to walk things out together. So this is actually a miracle that we're all supposed to get to participate in as Christians. But it is difficult to do. We understand that. So that's what number 11, our commitment is for us. I want to read it as we begin. It says, I expect relational difficulty as I seek genuine relationships with other sinners saved by grace. I will actively fight against gossip, drama, bitterness and relational weirdness. I will work toward reconciliation in all conflict, seeking always to live at peace, unified with others in the mill city family. So we're going to take that line by line. We're going to show you where that comes from in the scriptures, what we're talking about, what we're committing to. Let's pray. Lord, we ask for your help. We ask for your grace. We ask in the name of Jesus that this would be true for us, that we would work towards reconciliation and all conflict, seeking always to live at peace and be unified as your people. In Jesus name, Amen.All right, so that first line, if you're going to commit to membership here, and if you have committed to membership here, you have announced, I expect this to be difficult. You're like, I looked around, I saw you guys. And I'm pretty sure this is going to be hard. Yeah, that's how it works. I expect relational difficulty as I seek genuine relationships with other sinners saved by grace. And in some ways, this is commitment. 9, 10, and 11 follow a logical flow. 9 is, I'm going to pursue deep, genuine relationships. I'm going to do that by being here on Sundays and by committing to belong to a community group and that we're going to pursue these types of relationships. And then 10 says, and I'm well aware that I'm a sinner, so I won't be surprised if someone comes to me and says that I've sinned, I'm aware of that. I'll walk through that with them. And then 11 says, and I'm also well aware that they're sinners. And so this is going to be hard. What we're saying is that we expect. It makes sense that if what brought us here is sin and the need for forgiveness, Christianity is the people who raised their hand and said, I need help. The people who said, if the Lord doesn't have mercy, I'm in trouble. If he doesn't forgive sin, I'm in trouble. I want this to be about Christ. I want it to be about his goodness. I want my hope to be in Him. And if we all get together, the assumption that we would somehow not have conflict, that we're coming from different backgrounds, different economic places, we speak different languages at times, that we're coming from all these different places and we sinful. The idea that that wouldn't cause conflict is crazy. So we're saying, no, I expect that I'm a sinner who needs grace, and I expect that you're a sinner who needs grace. And I'm pretty sure if we try to have a real relationship, that's gonna. There's gonna be some problems. A lot of times we don't have conflict with people because we don't have relationships with people. The reason there's no frustration, the reason there's no difficulty, the reason there's no conflict is because you're not around each other enough for that to have even come up. We're saying, we want to be around each other enough to grow in these deep, genuine relationships, which means we expect there's going to be Some difficulty. So we say, I will actively fight against gossip, drama, bitterness, and relational weirdness. So we're saying, okay, it makes sense that we would have some problems, but I'm going to commit to fighting against these things. And this isn't just I won't participate. It's I'm going to try to stop them. I'm going to fight against it in myself and in others. We're going to. We're going to police this. We're going to defend something that is good together. Okay? Gossip. It's listed several times in the New Testament as a sin. What it is, is me and you talking about someone else. Be true. Slander would be if it was untrue. We're not going to do that either. But gossip is like, hey, did you hear this? Hey, I got something to say. People will say, I don't know if I should say this. And I've practiced. If you say that to me, I'll go, then don't. I'll try to wet blanket that as fast as I can. Because I know if you say it, I'm probably going to like hearing it. Proverbs says they're delicious morsels. Whispering like, this is a delicious morsel. And it's like, you know, don't even open the donut box. Like, I don't want to have to choose whether I'm eating two or three. Like, I just get it out of here. So when you're like, I don't know if I should say this, then you probably shouldn't. Don't say it. I don't know if you're the right person to talk to. I'm probably not. Leave me out of this. But we're going to fight against the gossip Is me and you talking about someone else. Did you hear that this was going on? One of the things I found personally that I love doing is telling you why someone did something. I don't know, but I have good negative guesses. So I. For a long time ago, I can tell you why they said that. I can tell you exactly what they're trying to do. And I had to learn, no, I can't. And even if I was right, I should keep my mouth shut. But we're going to fight against that. This is not going to be something we're going to participate in, which means that it's not just you're not going to say these things, but you're going to be an unsafe person for someone else to say them to. We're not going to get together to spill the tea? No, we're going to keep it all well contained, Highly good contained tea in our church. Family. Drama, not a Bible word. The Bible word that most often is used is we're going to pursue peace and we're going to see that a lot. Drama would be the opposite of that, would be you making things worse, making things bigger than they are, overreacting to things. The Bible talks about stirring things up. So Romans 16:17 and Titus 3:10. We've on the screen together, it says,> I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.>> As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him.There are obstacles to following Jesus. There shouldn't be other ones that we add in. There shouldn't be other things that we go, well, you know, this is a problem. And this is a problem. And this is. Have you noticed this? I've noticed this. This is a problem for me. Is it a problem for you? We're not supposed to do that and to stir up division. He says, avoid them. Watch out for that. That's bad for you. You know, there are people who can. Their joy is contagious, and there are people who. Their bitterness and frustration and dislike is contagious. I have. I have a friend who can make you dislike a movie. You watch it with him and he can talk you out of it. I'm a little bit like that. I have to watch. So I don't dislike it when he does that. I'm like, yeah, tell me how stupid this movie is. But I heard two other friends talking, and one of them, they're friends with that guy. And one of them said, yeah, I didn't like that movie. And the third friend said, did you actually not like that movie or did you just see it with this person? And later that friend said to me, I don't know. I don't know if I actually didn't like it or if they just so affected my ability. And it's like, y', all, you've got to be aware that that's a thing. Someone can come poison something for you, and they can poison your church family, they can poison your community group. They can poison things for you. They can get in your head and talk you out of joy and forgiveness and. And life and grace. And he says, watch out. You may have someone who comes and says, hey, you know, I need to talk to you about something. And all they're doing is this.Titus 3:10. For a person who stirs up division makes it worse. That's drama. It's stirring things up after warning him once and then twice have nothing more to do with him. Or as Proverbs 16:28 says,> A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.I love the way 26:20 says it, for the lack of wood, a fire goes out. And where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. There's nobody actively stirring it up. A lot of times things will stop, we say drama, bitterness and relational weirdness. Bitterness is. You're not talking about it, you're just seething over it. It's internal. It's not gossip. It's just as something that you're working out internally. You're going, yeah, I know what they were doing. I know. No, that's fine. This is just be how. Okay, yeah, you're just working it out in your head. They were rude to me. I know they were rude to me, whatever. And it just starts changing your relationship. We're not going to do that. We're going to be on guard against that in our heart. Relational weirdness is not a Bible term. It's a catch all. We're trying to grab a concept when we talk about relational weirdness. It. It's one of those things where it's like, you know, it's developed where we used to be okay, or we had this thing and we talked about it, but now I just don't really know how to talk to him anymore. I don't really want to talk to him anymore. If I find out they're going somewhere, I don't want to be there. It's like, oh, well, that's relational weirdness. And we just kind of sometimes will consign ourselves to that and go, yeah, I don't know, I don't like them, they don't like me. It's fine, we're fine. We're not in a group together anymore. So it's fine. I'm fine, we're fine, it's fine. I'm telling you a little bit something personal about myself. When I wake up in the morning, my left heel hurts so much that it's hard for me to walk. But I'm coming up on 40. So what I thought was, well, I'll just have that be true about me until I die. I'll limp around my house in the morning and then at some point it'll stop hurting and I'll move on because I have no intention of seeing a doctor about this. That's what relational weirdness is. It's just relationships. It's where you're going. This is fine. I'm fine. No, it's okay. No, this isn't a problem. I don't need to talk about it. I'm okay. And it's like, yeah, you have this. Like, something's painful, something's weird. You feel this twinge. You don't want to talk. I don't. Nah. And you just go, it's fine, though. As long as we ignore it, it's fine. And then someday I'll die. And it's like, no, we're going to fight against that. I'm allowed to do that with my heel. But you're not allowed to do that with your relationships. But I want you to see something first. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 says this.> Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.He's talking about conflict. He's talking about forgiveness and unforgiveness. And he says, no, I forgive them if you're forgiving them, we're going to walk in forgiveness. And he says, so that Satan doesn't trick us. And one of the reasons we commit to fighting this stuff is because Satan wants us to walk in unforgiveness, wants us to walk in fractured relationships, wants us to have relational difficulty and drama all over the place, wants that to be true for us where we don't enjoy and participate in what Christ has purchased for us. And we just have all these little fractures and broken relationships and frustrations because we're trying to walk together. And if we're going to do that, it's going to be difficult. And he says, no, we're going to walk in forgiveness so that we won't be outwitted by Satan. This is one of the reasons we're fighting against it, because this stuff is cancer for a church. Most people who have church hurt, and they'll talk about it. It's them, this. So it's unacceptable here. It's unacceptable in any church. But we're. We're not going to practice it. We're going to sort things out. But how are we going to do that? And that's what we say. Next. I will work toward reconciliation in all conflict, seeking always to live at peace, unified with others. In the mill city family, reconciliation is. There's a broken relationship and we're going to fix that. There's something between us and we're going to get rid of it. We're not going to let it develop. We're not going to let it grow. We're not going to let it see. We're not going to talk about other people about it. We're not going to let bitterness develop. We're going to try to sort this out. We're going to get to where we can be at peace with one another. And this is commanded over and over again in the Scriptures. So we're about to look at a lot of verses together. 2 Corinthians 13:11 says,> Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.I said, I love that. That's a command. Agree. It's like something you'd say to your kids, hey, get along, be friends. That's what he's doing. He's saying, aim for restoration, agree with one another, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. Our God is a God of love and peace. We actually get to participate in that. We get to have love and peace. And that gets to define the relationships here. And so we aim for restoration. That's what we're seeking to do. That's what the whole point of this is. So that's what you're committing to is, I'm going to do that. I'm going to commit to aim for restoration when there's conflict, when there's frustration, when there's difficulty. Romans 14:19 and Hebrews 12:14 says,> So then let us pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding.>> Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.I love these verses. The reason I have them next to each other. Pursue and strive. Pursue what makes for peace. Strive for peace. It means it takes work. This is something that's going to call out effort in us. You know, this is the reason this is all over the place in the New Testament is because they were like us. They became Christians and then found the other Christians kind of annoying. They had problems, they had difficulties, they had hurt feelings, they had sin. And he keeps going, y' all gotta work that out. You gotta work that out. You gotta pursue this stuff. I think sometimes we think about peace as, like, a byproduct. Like, it should just be there. It's just something you have or you don't have. When it's there, it's nice. When it's not there, it's, you know, whatever. And he's like, no, it takes work. We think of it as like a musical or something. Like they're in a barbershop and somebody's sweeping and somebody's cutting hair. Somebody's buzzing, and then they just start singing. It's magic. And that's what peace is like in a church. Imagine like we're monkeys in a Disney cartoon or something. That's not what it's like. That's not even what it's like in the thing you're watching. Where did that piano come from? Like, they've practiced this, obviously, and there's now instruments that aren't in this barbershop. But we act like that, and it's like, no, it's something that's going to take work. If you're going to be at peace with someone, it's going to take effort. It's going to take striving, it's going to take pursuit. And we're not going to want to do it. But it's worth it. And we're commanded to. So Romans 12:16-18 says,> Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.>> Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.>> If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.So this idea of living in harmony, living peaceably with all. And in the middle there, he says, do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. I've been a part of a community group in this church for 12 years. One of the things that I have found is part of the problem is that I'm right and good and they're stupid and bad. You ever feel that, you ever want to say, if they would just quit being wrong, then we wouldn't have a problem? Some of you married people know what I'm talking about. I've explained it to them twice. I don't know why they're so dumb. But you just feel that, you feel like I'm right. If you just see what I see, if you just know what I know. If you would just get on board now, you're like, yeah, and I got a Bible verse now, agree with me. Where is it at? It's like, that's not. There's a level of humility needed when we approach this and we're coming in and going, I'm aware of my own sin. I'm aware of my own self righteousness. I'm aware of my own haughtiness. I'm aware that I'm so wise in my own eyes constantly. I think I'm the smartest person who's ever existed. I just feel right about everything. My opinions feel like facts. And it's like that robs us of getting to do this. We're to live in harmony with one another. This isn't a solo. You have to work at it. Repay no one evil for evil. I want you to hear this. They actually did the thing that you're upset about most of the time. Sometimes we're like, yeah, but they really did sin. It's like, right? Yeah. Nobody's arguing that. We actually started with that we expected them to sin. They're a sinner who needs Jesus. We are not nobody's. We're not scandalized. Yeah, they really did it. They really. No, but they really. But it was really hurtful. It was really mean. No, they actually said it. No, they actually did. Yeah. Yeah, they did. And it's bad. Nobody's saying it's. It's not bad. Nobody's saying it's not sin. Nobody's saying it's okay. But we are saying we're not going to repay evil for evil. We've got to give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. Then verse 18, he says, if possible, and he's clarifying so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all meaning that there are some people that you can't be at peace with, but it has to be on their side, not yours. So you can't say, well, this person's just impossible to be at peace with. And it's like, only if it's on their side, not yours. You have to be holding out, going to be peaceable as far as it's up to me. All the parts that I can handle, I'm going to handle, and I'm going to live at peace.Okay, so what does pursuing reconciliation look like? We committing to do it? We're going to pursue reconciliation in all conflict. What does that look like? Well, first thing we can do is forbearance. Bearing with one another is just a way that you are going to absorb some of their sin in a way that you're going to offer forgiveness, offer love, and you don't have to have a conversation about it. Proverbs 10:12 says,> Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.Proverbs 17:9,> Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.There's a way for us to just by love forgive one another. And I think those proverbs can apply to, you've had a conversation, you've sorted things out. But I also think it's just one of those things that we get to do. We get to delight in to do someone is rude to you in your group, or they planned a time to meet with you and then they showed up late, and that drives you particularly crazy. The most offensive thing someone could ever do, they should hang up the phone on their mom and come show up on time to meet you. It's unacceptable. But you have these different things where it's like this, no, it was really rude. It was really offensive. They said that and it really hurt my feelings. We celebrated this birthday and then they acted like I didn't exist. And I told them it was my birthday. This stuff happens and it hurts. There's times where you go, yeah, but I've offended other people. I've been rude before. And I'm just gonna offer grace and forgiveness and love so that we get to have it. If I offer you grace and forgiveness and love, then our relationship gets to have grace and forgiveness and love. I just get to pour it in. Some of you people who live, have roommates and are married or whatever, you need to learn some of this. Like some of your relationships, you get to just add grace and forgiveness and love to your house on your own, from your side, and then it gets to be there. I'm pretty sure my wife does this with me 75 times a week where she's just going to make sure there's Love and kindness in our house. I know for a fact that I do things that she's asked me not to do. I noticed it this week as I was thinking about this. She tells me all the time when we're on the phone, say bye. Yeah, seems pretty simple. I'm constantly like, sounds good. Click. Alright. Yeah. It works for me. Click. I did that a couple times this week and I thought, I wonder if she's on the other side of the phone being like, I'll get texts every once in a while that say say bye. Because it's become evident to her that I've already hung up. I don't know if she's still talking. I don't know. I hung up the phone, you guys. I don't know how she finds out that I'm not on the phone anymore because apparently I don't say bye. But there's times where I just do that. She's told me a thousand times. I know for a fact I hung up on her twice without saying bye this week. She didn't say a word about it. I don't know if she didn't notice or if she just is like, he can't help it, something wrong with him and just chooses to love me and covers an offense, something that legitimately offends her. It bothers her, but she's just showing grace and kindness so that our house just gets to have love and we get to do this because we belong to Jesus. We just get to love each other. And so there's a whole lot of things that you can just go, you know what? I'm just going to forget. I'm just going to love. This is just going to be okay and I'm not going to hold on to it. 1 Peter 4:8 says,> Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.This applies in situations where we have to have multiple conversations. This applies to situations where we're having to work some stuff out. This applies all the time that we're seeking to love one another earnestly. But I'm just letting you know that forbearance lets you do this sometimes where you just go, I'm just going to choose on my side to not be offended by that. To be offended, but then to just choose to forgive and move on. And you can do that until it starts to grow. Because sometimes I think people say that's what they're doing and they're really just avoiding conflict because they don't want to have to have the conversation that makes them Uncomfortable. So they go, I'll just forgive. They were rude to me. That's fine. They're just a rude person. And then you see them and you say in your head, well, hello, Rudy. And it's like, okay, if you're doing that, I don't know if you've done the forbearance thing where you're choosing to forgive and show love. Like you, something else is happening. And so it's like, you can choose to do that, but you also can't sit and seize and have resentment and bitterness and difficulty. And if you start realizing, I'm trying, and I've done this for a while, but now it's still growing and it's still happening, and they're still offending me, and I'm going to have to have a conversation, which is the next thing that happens. So we can bear with one another, we can forbear, we can forgive without conversations. But then there are times where Matthew 18:15 says,> If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.You're trying to aim for restoration. You're trying to gain your brother. There's something between us, and this is what I think we sometimes miss. There'd be something between us. And someone will go, just. Well, it's just what it is. And it's like, you don't care about your brother. You're okay with just losing a sister. If you're going to hold on to that, or you'll be like, well, I just don't want to. I don't want. Sometimes people have in their mind peace just means the absence of conflict. But if I know about the conflict and you don't, conflict is still there. That's not peace. That's like, we see a hole and we put a blanket over it that didn't fix the hole. It actually increases the likelihood someone will fall into it. And so sometimes we're doing that in our relationships where we're just going, well, I just. I'm not gonna say anything. And it's like, yeah, but you're gonna hold on to it. That's still there. It's gonna affect the relationship. They won't know exactly why, but they'll feel it. And so he says, now you go talk to him. Because we're trying to aim for restoration. We're trying to gain our brother. And there are some baseline assumptions. If you sin against me and I come to you and I tell you or if I sin against you and you come and tell me we're making some assumptions. I love you. I want good for you and for us. I believe the spirit's at work in you so that this can work, so that you can repent, I can forgive. Like, I'm assuming good things about you if I come and talk to you. You're assuming good things about me. Now you're telling me I've sinned. I don't like that part. But you're making some baseline assumptions that are like, but if someone sins and I just go, yeah, not worth talking to them. Well, all my baseline assumptions are bad. Don't really care that much about them. Or you'll say things like, yeah, but I would talk to them, but I know what they're gonna say. And it's like, okay, so you're just gonna condemn them from here. Judge and condemn them from here, Lock them in that. And even if you are right and that's what they say or that's how they act, still supposed to do that for their good. God has you in this position in this relationship to see this thing and to have this conversation for their good, for their joy, and for yah's restoration. And it goes the other way, too. Matthew 5:23-24 says,> So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.You say, they didn't sin against me, they're mad at me. Okay, well, go talk to them. You can go have a conversation with someone where you say, it seems like you're mad at me, but I don't know what about, and I don't want to guess. You can go and say, hey, I know I did this, and I know that we hadn't quite been right since, and we need to talk about it. Matthew 18:16 says,> But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.That every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. We talked about this last week, but it's. If someone sins against me or if there's hurt, if there's conflict between us, I'm going to go talk to him privately. If that doesn't work, I'm going to get some other people to come help, and maybe that's because they don't see it. It's very clear that it's sin, but they don't see it. They're just denying it. Or maybe it's not clear that it's sin. We just aren't having a good conversation. It's hard for us to sort this out. Or they're, they said that I'm wrong, and so now I got to get somebody else and say, hey, maybe I'm wrong here, but can you come help us sort this out? But this is why if someone comes and talks to you about someone else, you are supposed to ask, what did they say when you told them? Because you're assuming we're on step two. If you're talking to me about it, you've already talked to them between you and them alone, and it didn't go well. That's my assumption. So how did that conversation go? And if you say, I haven't talked to them, then I'm supposed to say, well, go do that first. Now, I have had a lot of people ask, can't I come and talk to someone just to try to get some wisdom on how to have that conversation? Can I come and ask and say, am I wrong about this? Like, should I even be upset about this? And the answer to that is, yes, you can do that in limited circumstances with wise people who are actually helpful. You can come and say, hey, I'm trying to have this conversation with them. I'm really angry and I don't think I'm going to do it well. And you help me think about how to word this, how to structure this. You can also do that. You can say, I'm in conflict with a person. They don't have to know who it is. They don't have to know all the details. As a pastor, I do this all the time. Someone will say, hey, I'm having a hard time with someone. Can I tell you about it? And I'm like, yeah, maybe. But you can also, like, you can redact it. You can give me some of the details and not all the details. And I can try to be helpful on how to go have that conversation or how to approach this. You can go ask someone, am I wrong about this? And they might tell you, yeah, you're wrong. And then you may still have to go have a conversation with someone that says, I've been mad at you for bad reasons and it's affected our relationship, but we're ultimately going to be having conversations with the people that there's conflict between us. But this is the thing that happens, Philippians 4:2-3 says,> I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.So there are times where you just need somebody else to be in the room to help you have the conversation. I want to have the conversation. We don't communicate well. We need help. We've tried this two times, three times. I've already brought this up. They don't understand what I'm saying. I don't understand what they're saying. We need somebody else to come sit in the room and try to help us out. That's okay. You can get help. You're not trying to build a co if it's just conflict, frustration, difficulty, not addressing someone in sin. You're not trying to build a coalition of people on your team. You're trying to have someone who's wise and helpful to help you hear both sides sorted out, working towards peace, someone who's going to help make peace. Okay. Ephesians 4 says,> I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.He's saying, the church should look like Christians, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. Oh, what if that's what it looked like? What if someone sat you down and said, hey, I love you and I need to talk to you about something. But they had humility, gentleness, patience. They said, hey, I want to talk to you because I belong to Jesus and I love you and you belong to Jesus. And we need to sort this out because there's some difficulty between us being eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. I think we need to be real about the fact that a lot of times we're most eager to maintain our own comfort, more eager to maintain that than we are to maintain unity in the spirit. That I really just want you to get on my side so you'll quit getting on my nerves. And I'm not really wanting to sort this out in a way that gives grace and helps us both grow. But we should be eager to maintain that. We should dislike conflict between us to the point that we're wanting to overcome it. We should be like my sons, when there's a tag in their shirt, they will come to me like they're being attacked. Like a four year old will come like, and it's like, what is going on? This tag, let's burn this shirt. But it should be like that. It should be like there's something between us or something causing problems, and I can't stand it. I'm eager to maintain unity. So let's have a conversation. Let's get together, let's sort this out. And if we all have this, then it becomes easier. You should expect that this is going to be hard and you should expect other people to come do it. And when they come do it, you should feel loved, not attacked. You should go, oh, good, they want to maintain unity with me. They love me enough to try to sort this out. The reality is, if we clip off years where there's aren't conversations like this, if we go through your group never, then maybe y' all just aren't around each other enough or don't love each other enough because the idea that I'm around you and haven't seen things, that maybe, maybe we just aren't sorting things out like we should. Maybe we're not eager to maintain unity when we start telling ourselves, well, I just might. I might just go somewhere else. I think this happens so often in churches, especially in the south, where there's so many churches. You reach the place where now I'm going to have to have a conversation. I'm going to have to forgive, I'm going to have to repent, I'm going to have to go through conflict. No, I'm just going to go somewhere else. And you tell yourself that this shouldn't happen. There must be something wrong here. Because our assumption is that peace is a byproduct, not something we have to strive for as we just go somewhere else. And you're there for three years or four years or five years, really just long enough for these people to start really getting on your nerves or sinning against you or hurting you or for them. And then you go somewhere else. When we've reached the moment where we could grow and we could walk in a manner worthy of the Lord and actually step in the things the gospel empowers us to do and walk with the God of love and peace and have him be with us in these moments. Let's do that. Colossians 3:12-14 says,> Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.>> And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.Saying the same kind of things. He says, put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved. He's saying, this is who you are. You're chosen, you're holy, you're beloved. And he says, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience bearing with one another. That warms my soul that that's in the. It's in the Bible. Why does he have to write to every church and say, please put up with each other. And you're in a church and you're like, I'm having to put up with these people. There's something wrong with this church. And it's like, no, we look like we're in the New Testament. We're Bible people who are having a hard time sorting some of this stuff out. That's fine. It's normal. It's what it looks like for us to walk in life together. So he says, bearing with one another, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. But I want you to see that bearing with one another if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, so you also must forgive. This is a command. This is why we commit to it. This is why we say, this is what we're going to do here. This is how we're going to handle this here. Because we're commanded to. I was talking to a pastor one time. He had been a pastor. He was doing some stuff in kind of church, the church world. And we were talking about something when the first church had just started, our church had just started a church plant, and we only had a couple of groups. And I said we had some people that were at odds with one another. And he said, man, that's tough, because you can't, you know, what are you gonna do? You can't make them talk to each other. And I said, oh, we're gonna make them talk to each other because of this, because we're commanded to do this. So we're going to expect of each other that we're going to do this. We're going to expect that we're going to try to sort things out, and it's good for us. I need that expectation on me from you. And you need that expectation on you from me that we're. No, we're going to have the conversation. We're going to sort these things out because we can. And the reason we can. And the reason why you won't do this. You will not do this unless you understand what's in the middle of that highlighted section as the Lord has forgiven you. If we don't know the grace and the mercy and the depth of the love and the forgiveness of Christ, then we won't do this. We won't want to, and we won't have the ability to. We just will refuse. But if we're walking in this if we understand the depth of our sin and the grace of Christ. And then we can. And we delight to do it because we're participating in something that Jesus bought for us, that he claimed for us, that he gave us. This is what Jesus. What Paul says when he's talking about Jesus and he's talking to the Jewish believers and the Gentile believers and the hostility that was between them. He says in Ephesians 2,> But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.>> For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility.He's talking to Jews and Gentiles there, and he's saying that we get to all belong to the Lord. And that's true for us in these other situations. He's our peace, and he bought reconciliation between us and God, which means the reconciliation between me and you is so narrow. We're drowning in the mercy and the forgiveness of Christ. So we delight to walk it out with each other, to participate in it tangibly in a real way in our lives. I love Matthew 18. So this is. He walks through the stuff we've been reading about, addressing your brother in sin. He gets through it. And I love that Jesus has disciples who follow him around and ask questions, because they ask the questions that we ask. Then Peter came up and said to him, lord, how often will my brother sin against me? And I forgive him as many as seven times. Don't you just love the disciples? Sometimes Jesus is like, this is how you forgive your brother? This is how you go get your brother back. This is what it looks like. Peter's like, mm, that's so good. Quick question, though. When can I stop? And y', all, he says, seven. Ain't none of us saying seven. We're Americans. The most we go on things is three. Because of baseball. Been trained in us. You get three, some of us lop off that third one. Fool me once, fool me twice. Fool me, can't fool me again. Sorry. That's just how some presidents say it. But I love this. Peter asks. Jesus says,> I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.Just means all the times. What's so wonderful about this? We'll talk about us. We'll talk about what Peter's asking in a second. But I want you all to see this. You ever have that moment with the Lord and you think how Long before you're done with me. How many times am I going to do this before you're just done with me? How many times am I going to fail and come back and say, I need you and I need mercy and I need grace. How many times is this going to happen before you're done with me? And the Lord Christ expects us to Forgive each other 77 times in a day, because that's the type of grace and mercy that he has for us. When will he be done with you? Never. If you belong to Christ and are covered by his blood. He has paid everything to keep you. He will keep you. So how much mercy and forgiveness do we get? All of it. And how much mercy and forgiveness do we give? All of it. Because we're the only ones who have access to all of it. That's why the church is known by their love. Because we have so much love and so much mercy and so much forgiveness that we don't run out giving it to each other. And you say, they've sinned against me and they've done it again. Right. But I'll never run out of the forgiveness that Christ gives. So I never run out of my ability to share. And I get to participate in a real way. When I feel the pain of forgiveness, I get to know that he was actually dripping blood on that cross because it hurts to forgive, but it's so good because everything breaks down without it. And so we get blood bought reconciliation and we get forgiveness and we get peace and we get joy and we get those handed to us by the God of love and peace, who loved us so much that he died for us. And we absolutely will not settle for not sharing that with each other and not participating. As people who belong to this type of God, we get to delight to share it with one another, even as it is hard, because it reminds us of the goodness of Christ and the mercy and the forgiveness that he's offered. And we get to walk what it looks like to belong to Him. If you're going to commit to a church, how many times are you going to have to forgive? All the times. And how many times are you going to be empowered by Christ to forgive? All the times. Because that's how many times he forgives us.Let's pray. Oh Lord, may you bless this church by your spirit, that we would aim for restoration and that we would be eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit. Lord, you have forgiven us so much. You have had endless mercy granted to us. May we share it with each other. May we not see the sins committed against me as higher and more egregious than my sins committed against you. May I not think so highly of myself. May we not be outwitted by Satan, but may we be people of forgiveness and mercy and kindness and goodness. And may we have the conversations that we need to have and share the love that we need to share, which is given to us endlessly by you. So God of love and peace be with us in Jesus name, Amen.The band's gonna come back up, and here's what we're gonna do. Jesus says if you have something against someone, you need to go talk to them. He says if someone has something against you, you need to leave your gift at the altar and you need to go talk to them. So they're gonna play and we're gonna have a moment. I want you to humbly walk to the Lord and just say, help me to see my sin. Help me to not think so highly of myself. Help me not to be wise in my own sight. And if there's someone I need to talk to, if there's somebody that the spirit's convicting you, that you need to have a conversation with, then go have a conversation with them. You don't have to have the whole conversation now. You can get up and go grab and say, how many. Let's plan a time. We need to talk. You can shoot somebody a text message. Some of you need to step outside and make a phone call as an act of worship. You don't need to sing. You need to go call somebody. We need to be people who are eager to maintain peace. We want people to commit to this. But some of you have come over here from another church because you're in the middle of this exact thing and you need to go back and sort some things out. But we want to be people who look like we belong to Christ. So take a moment, pray, listen, and do as the Spirit leads, and then we'll stand and sing together.

November asks us to move more slowly, more deliberately, and often in directions we didn't expect to.This is a month that comes with a looming, menacing sense of dread.But not all hopes are lost. In fact, it'll present the perfect opportunities for practice. Over and over again.In this episode, we dive into: How to heal a heart that's broken (again).What to do when you can't do it all.Healing as noticing the mismatch between perception and reality.How small moves are the biggest. If you've enjoyed and benefited from the podcast, I invite you to apply for private mentorship and coaching with me. This is an intensive container, designed to support you in refining your self-leadership skills, moving through important life thresholds with grace, and expanding your capacity for creative expansions.Try the incredible breathwork and meditation app Open for 30 days free using this special link. This podcast is hosted, produced, and edited by Jonathan Koe. Theme music is also composed by me! Connect with me through my newsletter, my Instagram @jonathankoeofficial, and my music. For podcast-related inquiries, email me at healingthespiritpodcast@gmail.com.

"Relational health and vitality is based on our ability to be empathetic toward one another as God has been empathetic toward us." - Steve Macchia In Episode 36.09 of The Discerning Leader Podcast, Steve Macchia interviews Bill and Kristi Gaultiere of Soul Shepherding as they share wisdom from their recent book, Deeply Loved. Together, they discuss how the life-giving and life-changing power of empathy raises emotional intelligence, cultivates healthier emotions, heals relationships and draws us closer to Jesus. Join the conversation about spiritual discernment as a way of life at www.LeadershipTransformations.org and consider participation in our online and in-person program offerings. Additional LTI spiritual formation resources can be found at www.SpiritualFormationStore.com and www.ruleoflife.com and www.healthychurch.net.

Are you loving it? Send Ash a text! Even after I slowed down, healed, lost 40 pounds, and felt like a brand-new human, the old patterns still tiptoed back in. Not the dramatic face-down-on-the-floor kind of burnout, just the sneaky version that makes you pause and say, “Oh, interesting… you again?” It was enough to make me curious.This part-two debrief is me pulling back the curtain on why urgency creeps in even after rest, how cortisol becomes our go-to fuel source, and the small, doable resets that actually change the pattern without blowing up your entire life. Think of it as the gentle, real-life guide to breaking the burnout cycle… and all the tiny daily shifts that we all need.TOPICS & TANGENTS:• When old patterns creep back after rest • Cortisol addiction and why stress starts to feel like energy • How “busy” becomes an identity we get praised for • Childhood wiring: control, chaos, and early responsibility • Relational fawning: regulating everyone but yourself • The urgency we learn young (and why I still watch our mornings) • Tiny resets that help: the 90-second nothing timer, sense grounding, and vagus-nerve hums • Values vs. ideals: hearing your life tell the truth • The Somatic Wealth Framework: Regulate, Reflect, RewirePOINT OF THE STORY:You can't out-sabbatical a nervous system pattern. The shift isn't a life overhaul; it's honest values + tiny, embodied resets repeated today.RELAUNCH GIVEAWAY (10/29 – 10/31): Free Access to The Energy Advantage (Mini - less than 15 minutes!) Training where I reveal the exact framework I used to double my energy, work less frantically, and actually end my days with something left in the tank.Here's how to get instant access:Leave a review for Shamelessly Ambitious on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Screenshot your review.Upload it using this short form.Once you do, you'll get immediate access to the mini-webinar, From constant exhaustion to overflowing energy: the fastest way high-achieving women can reclaim their capacity in 2025.Rooting for you, your way, always

In a cultural pivot that's as swift as a TikTok trend, the once-unquestioned allure of heterosexual romance is under fire—recast not as a fairy-tale endpoint but as a potential social liability. Drawing from a Vogue feature, viral podcast snippets, and a probing New York Times magazine essay,  we unpack the rising tide of "heterofatalism": a cocktail of exhaustion, irony, and quiet rebellion among straight women navigating the boyfriend conundrum. What was once a status symbol—think "Boyfriend Land" selfies flooding feeds in the early 2010s—has morphed into something subtly shamed, with singlehood emerging as the sleek, mysterious upgrade. Yet beneath the memes and eye-rolls lies a deeper malaise: men's relational anxieties are clashing with women's sharpened expectations, turning desire into a high-stakes standoff.The conversation ignites in British Vogue's "Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?", where author Stephanie Yeboah dissects the subtle sabotage of coupledom in the social media era. Gone are the days of overt "hard-launches"—those gushy couple photos that scream commitment. Instead, women opt for cryptic signals: a manicured hand draped over a steering wheel, a partner's face artfully blurred in the background, or entire fiancés cropped out of vacation reels to dodge the "evil eye" of jinxing fate. Yeboah cites cultural critic Zoé Samudzi's sharp take: straight women crave "the prize and celebration of partnership" but recoil from its "norminess," lest it paint them as basic or overly invested.

I continue to interest myself with the concept of “attachments.” How and why we attach to anything. In this episode, I'm focusing specifically on relational attachments again.The concept is that in our childhood, we learned how to best attach to our primary caregivers and others. As no parent or caregiver or person is perfect, we have to hypothesize that nobody learns how to attach in perfect health. We adapt and cope. And unless you have given specific attention and done the work to understand yourself, chances are high, if not 100%, that you have some attachment styles and habits that are not serving your relationships best today. I start off questioning how attached we should be, at all, and looking first at how we attach to ourselves. My expert guest is Jessica Baum. Jessica is a renowned psychotherapist who has specialized in trauma, attachment theory, and interpersonal neurobiology. Jessica feels that connection—to ourselves and others—is at the heart of healing, and she uses a range of modalities to help individuals and couples find wholeness. She is the founder of the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach, a private group practice, and she leads a global coaching company offering support to clients worldwide. Jessica previously authored the bestselling book, Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love, which established her as a trusted voice in the healing of attachment wounds and building secure, fulfilling relationships. Her new book is, Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships, which was the catalyst for the conversation you are about to hear. Type “Jessica B-A-U-M” in anywhere and you'll find her. If you buy her book she has some free gifts at her website Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever had someone freeze you out of a group text? Spread just enough gossip to make you doubt yourself? Smile to your face while subtly undermining you behind your back? That's not just “drama,” it's a form of bullying called relational aggression, and it can wreck friendships, families, and entire communities if it's left unchecked. It's not just drama. It's emotional sabotage. Today, I'm breaking down what relational aggression really is, why it's so destructive, and the research-backed strategies to protect yourself and stop the cycle, whether you're dealing with family gatherings, sorority politics, or your neighborhood book club._________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/relational-aggression-how-to-recognize-it-and-stop-itGet the Relational Aggression Response Scripts: https://abbymedcalf.com/aggression-scripts Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

Send us a textEver wonder why some moments with your child feel effortless and deeply connected — while others leave you drained, reactive, or misunderstood? In this episode, we break down the science behind why.Dr. Jessie Stern and psychologist Rachel Samson join Cindy to explore relational savoring — a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond by intentionally remembering moments of warmth, safety, and love. You'll learn how this practice calms your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds emotional security — for both you and your child.They also unpack the role of temperament and sensitivity in relationships. Why do some people (and kids) feel everything more deeply? What does that mean for how we connect, comfort, and communicate?If you've ever said, “I wish I could stay calm when things get hard,” this conversation will give you the science and the self-awareness to start doing exactly that.Because connection isn't about perfection — it's about noticing, savoring, and showing up with compassion.Read their new book: Beyond Difficult: An attachment-based guide to dealing with challenging peopleFollow Rachel SamsonFollow Dr. Jessie SternRead the science article: Savoring interventions for mothers of young children: Mechanisms linking relational savoring and personal savoring to reflective functioningListen to more podcast episodes:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000731541535Support the showJoin our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn't: A Parent's Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: info@curiousneuron.com

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Guiding Question: What will heaven really be like, and how should the promise of eternity shape the way I live today? Key Takeaways: The Power of Envisioning the End: Robert Lewis continues the theme of “sacred ground”—reflecting on death and eternity—as essential to a well-lived life. He illustrates this with the story of Alfred Nobel, whose accidental obituary inspired him to reshape his legacy. Similarly, men are called to think ahead to their end and live accordingly. Two Worldviews, Four Outcomes: Building on the previous week, Lewis recaps the two metaphysical worldviews (traditional religious vs. secular scientism) and the four outcomes people commonly choose regarding the afterlife. Most Americans believe in an afterlife, but their assumptions vary widely. Heaven Described as Dynamic, Relational, and Rewarding: Lewis dismantles the dull, caricatured views of heaven (clouds, harps, robes) and instead offers six compelling biblical insights: A place of resolution – where life's injustices and mysteries are clarified. A place of altered states – where we receive transformed, physical-yet-glorified bodies, capable of operating in new dimensions. A place of personal rewards – where how we lived matters eternally; faithfulness is honored with real commendation and reward. A place of new status and position – where people's earthly faithfulness determines their roles and responsibilities. A place of adventure and creation – not a static eternity, but one full of exploration, challenges, and creativity. A place of endless surprises – experiences beyond our imagination, prepared by a generous and relational God. Not Everyone Will Go There: The Bible is clear that there will be judgment. Heaven is not universal, and not everyone will enter. The big question isn't just how good you are—but whether you recognize your need for help. Sobering and Motivating: Lewis calls men to be honest about where they stand in relation to eternity, challenging the idea of being “good enough” and urging listeners to grapple with grace and truth. Key Scripture References: 1 Corinthians 9:26 – Living with aim and intention. 1 Corinthians 13:12 – “Now I know in part; then I shall know fully...” Ecclesiastes 12:14 – “God will bring every deed into judgment...” 1 Corinthians 15:19 – “If only for this life we have hope in Christ...” John 14:2 – “I go to prepare a place for you.” 1 Corinthians 3:12–15 – Works tested by fire, rewards given. Matthew 19:27–30 – Rewards and positions in the kingdom. 1 Corinthians 2:9 – “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard...” Matthew 25:31–46 – Separation of the sheep and the goats.

Located in the heart of downtown Maryville, Coram Deo Baptist Church (formerly Pleasant Grove at College Street) was founded as a church plant of Pleasant Grove Baptist Church in 2017.

10/26/2025At Covenant Word Church in Key West Florida.

Welcome back to my 2-part podcast episode, where I'm talking about how to “de-center” men (or really anything or anyone we've made the “sun” in our lives). We named the pattern: what it looks like to center men and the emotional, relational, and cultural costs when we orbit someone else's needs at the expense of our own. Today we move from insight to action (Yay!). This episode is about how to stop self-abandoning without burning your life down, and what decentering looks like in real, everyday practice. I'll walk you through a clear framework you can try this week—tiny choices, boundary language, nervous-system support, and specific drills for dating, work, and long-term partnership. You'll also hear a couple of personal moments that show how these tools play out when things get clear, messy, and very human. This is what you'll hear in this episode: A short recap of Part 1: a plain-language definition of “centering men” and why the costs keep adding up over time. How to spot the pattern in real time using quick questions (“Am I doing this for their comfort? For avoiding conflict? To not inconvenience someone else?”) and a pause before reacting. Relational autonomy in action: the “Two-Yes Rule”, and speaking your “why” without over-explaining. Exiting self-silence with nervous-system help: a scheduled anger/venting that doesn't bleed into your relationships. Reframing “being disliked for having needs” as data—not disaster. Decentering drills for real life: speaking first and reclaiming your voice at work, and self-regulation + clear timing in partnerships. Shifting the ecosystem: auditing your media, re-centering women in your inputs, etc. Decentering isn't about rejecting or hating men; it's about reclaiming yourself in a culture that has taught us that centering men will keep us safe and it's the only option. My hope is that this episode gives you a practical path: notice the old bargain as it's happening, choose one small values-aligned action, and let your nervous system catch up as you practice new boundaries. And please try the homework! Pick one domain where you tend to self-abandon, run a tiny experiment this week, and reflect on what your body and inner voice tell you. If this landed, share the episode and let me know what shifted for you!  Resources from this episode: Episode 697: De-Centering Men Part 1: What it means and what it costs us Download a Free Digital Version of my upcoming book, Live Like You Give a Damn Hop on my email list for updates on my books, programs, and more: andreaowen.com/free My Ketamine Therapy Journey secret podcast series Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I've compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ https://andreaowen.com/podcast/699 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Try Tank Podcast, Lorenzo Lebrija engages with Josh Packard to discuss his book "Faithful Futures: Sacred Tools for Engaging Younger Generations." They explore the evolving understanding of generational dynamics, the significance of sacred listening, and the role of relational ministry in today's diverse society. The conversation challenges traditional paradigms and offers new insights for faith communities.KeywordsFaithful Futures, generational dynamics, sacred listening, relational ministry, faith communitiesTakeawaysGenerational containers are outdated and can be harmful.Sacred listening is a transformative act for young people.Belonging now precedes believing in faith communities.Social media's impact on spirituality is still evolving.Micro narratives help reconcile ancient traditions with modern realities.Relational ministry requires new tools in a diverse world.Trust has shifted from institutions to individuals.Faith communities must adapt to survive and thrive.The church should focus on relational, not programmatic, approaches.Josh Packard emphasizes the importance of accompaniment in faith.

Join The Felt-Sense School of Evolutionary Astrology: https://www.sabrinamonarch.com/the-felt-sense-schooljoin my mailing list: https://www.sabrinamonarch.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if a single, gentle question could turn tense moments into real connection? That's the promise of “contracting,” a simple consent-based habit that replaces surprise talks with intentional, focused conversations. We walk through how this tiny shift—asking “Is now a good time?” and agreeing on a short window—respects attention, reduces defensiveness, and builds trust that sticks.• what contracting is and why it works• how consent checks prevent ambush talks• sample scripts for respectful timing• prepping topics with short previews• external vs internal processing styles• three reasons contracting builds safety• the sprinkler story and timing misfires• honoring reschedules and follow-through• presence rules: phones down, eyes up• weekly challenge to try contractingThank you so much if you've already purchased Bad Marriage Advice. If you have purchased it and had a chance to look through it, I would absolutely love and appreciate if you would go back to Amazon and leave your honest review. Use this link to leave a review --> https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?&asin=B0FQ46HG3S.Send us a text

In this episode of Relationship Growth, Lilly walks you through the exact framework she uses with her clients to help them create deeper, healthier relationships. She breaks down each phase of her signature method, the Relational Blueprint Method, and shows how it helps you identify your patterns, expand your capacity to receive love, and learn to communicate from a grounded and loving place.You'll learn how to move from reaction to regulation, from confusion to clarity, and from disconnection to lasting connection. Whether you're single, dating, or partnered, this episode gives you a roadmap for how to start doing the real work of relational growth.In this episode, you'll learn:• What the Relational Blueprint Method is and how it works• Why setting clear intentions at the beginning of your growth journey matters• How to identify your nervous system's primary survival response• The importance of emotional experiencing and building resilience• How to recognize and interrupt your relationship patterns• The role of your inner child and the wise adult in healing• What it means to “say the real thing” and lead with love in communicationConnect with Lilly:Follow Lilly on Instagram @lillyrachelsSubscribe to her Substack at www.lillyrachels.comIf this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a review. Share it with a friend who's ready to grow in love and learn how to communicate the real thing. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com

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There are ways in which we as humans share with all humans.

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Tim Cooper | 10.19.25 | Fellowship North || A series on discipleship inspired by: "Real-Life Discipleship" by Jim Putman and the "Real-Life Discipleship: Training Manual" by: Avery T. Willis, Jr., Jim Putman, Bill Krause, Brandon Guindon that our all of Life Groups are walking through during the fall of 2025.

Located in the heart of downtown Maryville, Coram Deo Baptist Church (formerly Pleasant Grove at College Street) was founded as a church plant of Pleasant Grove Baptist Church in 2017.

Something is coming: https://lectern.johnvervaeke.com/p/whatnext   What if mastery isn't about perfection—but about transformation? In this episode of The Lectern, John Vervaeke is joined by Ethan Hsieh to explore how the cultivation of virtuosity—typically associated with the arts—can become central to philosophical and existential growth. Ethan introduces his Tiamat process, a three-tier developmental framework integrating performance training, cognitive science, and dialogical practice. Together, they explore what it means to live a deliberately developmental life, moving beyond therapy into embodied transformation. Ethan draws from his background in acting, pedagogy, and philosophy to offer a new model of self-cultivation rooted in agency, feedback, metacognition, and trust. Ethan Hsieh is a facilitator, educator, and philosophical practitioner whose work bridges performance, cognition, and transformative pedagogy. As the creator of the Tiamat process, he integrates insights from embodied practice, developmental psychology, and dialogical philosophy to help individuals cultivate virtuosity as a way of life. Ethan is also a co-founder of Five to Midnight, a community of practice that fosters relational, developmental growth through shared inquiry. Learn more: http://5tomidnight.org - 00:00 – Opening and intentions 03:00 – Ethan's background in theater and philosophy 07:30 – What is Tiamat? Three-tiered developmental model 11:00 – Mapping metacognition through embodied practice 14:00 – Why “meta-maps” matter 17:00 – Habituation and interrupting automaticity 20:00 – Tiamat vs traditional therapy 24:00 – Participatory transformation and co-regulation 29:00 – Why agency must be distributed 1:00:00 – Where transformation lives: tier two dynamics 1:05:00 – Closing reflections - Tiamat Process – Ethan's developmental model blending performance, cognition, and feedback Meta Maps – Tools for mapping metacognition and lived experience Postures of Presence – Ethan's term for enacted, relational awareness Five to Midnight – Ethan's practice-based community: http://5tomidnight.org Deliberately Developmental Civilization – Concept by Ken Wilber & Dustin Dene Unified Theory of Knowledge (UTOK) – Metatheoretical cognitive framework: https://unifiedtheoryofknowledge.org - Ideas, People, and Works Mentioned: Tiamat process Virtuosity and virtue Meta maps and metacognition Postures of presence Embodied transformation Relational ontology Distributed agency Participatory knowing Deliberately developmental civilization Complexification and growth Therapy vs. transformative practice Feedback and co-regulation Performance and philosophy Five to Midnight Unified Theory of Knowledge (UTOK) Ken Wilber Dustin Dene John Vervaeke - Follow John Vervaeke: https://johnvervaeke.com https://twitter.com/DrJohnVervaeke https://www.youtube.com/@johnvervaeke https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I am giving you another sneak peek inside my Peaceful Parenting Membership! Listen in as I interview Rachel Simmons as part of our membership's monthly theme of “Friendship Troubles”. Rachel is an expert on relational aggression, AKA mean girls. We discuss how to intervene in this behaviour when kids are young, how to prevent our child from doing this, and how we can support our children when they're experiencing it.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:27 What is relational aggression?* 8:50 Both boys and girls engage in this type of aggression* 10:45 How do we intervene with young kids* 14:00 How do we teach our kids to communicate more effectively* 22:30 How to help our children who are dealing with relational aggression* 33:50 Can you reach out to the aggressive child's parents?* 38:00 How to reach out to the school* 47:30 How to help our kids make new friends after relational aggressionResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Rachel's websitexx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERERachel interview transcriptSarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's episode is another sneak peek inside my membership, where I interviewed Rachel Simmons — an expert on relational aggression, AKA “mean girls.” She wrote a book called Odd Girl Out, which is all about the topic of relational aggression and how we can support our children when they're experiencing it — and what to do if our child is actually doing that to other people.If you don't know what relational aggression is, don't worry — listen up, because she goes into the definition of it. This was a great conversation. My members had questions, I had questions, and in the end, we all agreed it was a very helpful discussion. I think you'll find it helpful as well — no matter how old your child is or whether or not they've experienced any relational aggression.This is something we should all be aware of, and as parents, we actually have a lot of control over preventing our child from becoming someone who uses relational aggression.As I said, this is a sneak peek inside my membership, where we have a theme every month. This month's theme was “Friendship Troubles,” and it actually came as a request from one of our members. So we brought in Rachel to talk to us about relational aggression, which this member's child had been struggling with.Every month in the membership, we have a theme — I do some teaching about it, and we also bring in a guest expert for teaching and Q&A.If you'd like to join us inside the membership, you can go to reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership to learn more and join us.Another thing we do inside the membership is office hours. You may have heard a recent podcast that gave a sneak peek into what those are like. We do office hours twice a week where you're welcome to drop in, ask a question, get support, or share a win — from me, Corey, and other members. It's just a wonderful place.Our membership is my favorite corner of the internet, and we've been doing it for six years. It really is a special place. I'd love for you to join us! Please let me know if you have any questions, or just head over to reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership to learn more.And now — let's hear from Rachel.Hey Rachel, welcome to the podcast.Rachel: Thank you.Sarah: Can you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?Rachel: Sure. Well, I'm based in Western Massachusetts, and I'm a researcher and author. Over the last eight years, I've also become an executive coach. I've always been fascinated by — and inspired by — the psychology of girls and women.Over what's now become a long career, I've worked with women and girls across the lifespan — beginning, I'd say, in elementary school, and more recently working with adult women.I've always been animated by questions about how women and girls experience certain phenomena and spaces differently, and how paying attention to those experiences can contribute to their overall wellness and potential.Sarah: Nice. And I just finished reading your book Odd Girl Out, and I could see how much research went into it. I think you mentioned you interviewed people for a few years to write that book.Rachel: It was a long time, yeah. I was just actually reflecting on that. I came across a shoebox filled with cassette tapes — little cassette tapes of the interviews I did when I wrote that book, which came out 20 years ago.I worked all over the United States and tried to speak to as many girls as I could.Sarah: It's a great book — highly recommended. We'll put a link to it in the show notes. Thank you for writing it.So today we invited you here because we want to talk about relational aggression. Can you give us a definition of what relational aggression is?Rachel: Yes. Relational aggression is a psychological form of aggression — a way that people express themselves when they're trying to get a need met or are upset about something. It usually starts as early as two or three years old, when kids become verbal, and it's the use of relationship as a weapon.It can start off as something like the silent treatment — “I'm going to turn away from you because I'm upset with you” — cutting someone off as a way of communicating unhappiness. That silence becomes the message.I remember once interviewing a seventh-grade girl who told me she gave people the silent treatment — that she'd stop talking to them as a way to get what she wanted. That was really unusual, because most girls won't come up and be like, “Yeah, here are all the ways I'm mean.”In fact, it's often the secrecy that makes this stuff hard to talk about. So I was like, wow, here's a unicorn telling me she's doing it. And I asked, “Why do you do it?” And she said, “Because with my silence, I let my friends know what's going to happen if they don't do what I want.”A very powerful description of relational aggression.So that's the silent treatment, but it can also take more verbal forms. Like, “If you don't give me that toy, I won't be your friend anymore.” Or, “If you don't play with me at recess today, then our friendship is over.”The threat is always that I'll take away a relationship. And it's so powerful because — what do we want more than connection? That's a profound human need. So it's a very, very powerful form of aggression.Sarah: Your book is called Odd Girl Out, and you focused on women and girls. Do you think this also happens with boys? Has it started happening more with boys? What's your take — is it still mainly a girl thing? I mean, when I think of relational aggression, I think of “mean girls,” right?Rachel: Yes, I think a lot of people do — and certainly did when I first started researching this book many years ago. I did too.It's important to remember that yes, boys definitely do this, and they do it as much as girls starting in middle school — at least according to the research I read. I haven't read the very recent studies, so that could have changed, but back when I was doing this work, no one was writing about boys doing it.There was almost no research, and frankly, because of my own experience — seeing boys being more direct and girls being indirect — I assumed it was just a girl thing. But it most definitely is not.I think I and others, in many ways, did a disservice to boys by not studying them. I wish I had. It's something that's much more widely understood now by people out in the field doing this work.Sarah: Yeah, interesting — because my oldest son, who's now 24, definitely experienced a lot of relational aggression in elementary school. And my daughter did too.And just as a side note — it's so painful to watch your kids go through that. I want to ask you more about parents' roles, but it's so painful as a parent to watch your child have their friends be mean to them.You mentioned it can start as young as two or three, and I remember reading in your book — that sort of “you can't come to my birthday party” thing. Even little kids will say that to their parents sometimes, right? Using that relational aggression.You said that if we don't actively get involved, it can turn into older-kid relational aggression that never goes away. What do you suggest parents do or say when they hear this kind of thing — whether it's to other kids on the playground, to a sibling, or even to the parents themselves?Rachel: Yeah, with little kids — we're talking about little, little ones — I often answer that question with a question back to the parent: What do you do when your kid hits or bites somebody?Usually what most of us do is stop the behavior, make sure the other kid's okay, and then turn to our own child and say, “You can't do that. We don't do that in our family. That's not what we say, that's not what we do. You have to use your words.”And we say, “We don't ever threaten people when we're angry.” It's okay to be mad — that's really key — but it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Certain ways of speaking are off-limits, just like certain words are off-limits.It's also key, though, to practice self-awareness as a parent. Because if you're the kind of person who goes quiet when you're upset, or withdraws as a way of expressing yourself, that's probably where your kid's picking it up. They're not unaware of that.It's kind of like when parents tell teens, “Hey, get off your phone,” and the teen says, “You're on your phone all the time.” Modeling is key.Sarah: That makes a lot of sense — treating relational aggression like any other form of aggression, giving alternatives, correcting the behavior.Rachel: Exactly — and helping them cultivate empathy. Ask, “How do you think that other person felt when you said that? How do you think it feels when someone says they won't be your friend anymore?”You don't want to lose friends just because you made a mistake.Unfortunately, so many people believe this is just “kids being kids.” When you hear that phrase, it's almost a way of disqualifying or invalidating the behavior as aggression. We have to be really careful not to trivialize it or write it off. That's the gateway to not taking it seriously and not holding kids accountable.Sarah: One of the things you talk about in your book — which I thought was really great food for thought — is how this often happens with girls because girls are socialized not to express their anger and to be “nice” and “good.” So it goes underground and comes out in these covert, or even not-so-covert, forms of relational aggression.What can we do as parents to change this? Any concrete ways to help girls express themselves or communicate more effectively so that this doesn't happen?Rachel: That's a really good question. I think one approach I value — both as a parent and in my work — is taking a more integrated approach to parenting, not just saying something in the moment.If we want kids — and we don't even have to say “girls,” just kids — to be more emotionally expressive and authentic so they don't resort to indirect or harmful behaviors, then they need to be raised with certain principles.Those principles have to be voiced, reinforced, and practiced throughout daily life — not just in response to an acute moment of aggression.Some of those principles are: It's not what you say, it's how you say it. All feelings are welcome, but not all behaviors are. You have the right to be treated with respect and dignity by your friends, and you owe that to them as well.And not even just your friends — everyone. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but you do have to treat everyone with respect.That's key for girls, in particular, because they're often expected to be friends with everyone, which makes them feel resentful. So another principle is: You don't have to be friends with everyone. You can be acquaintances and still treat people respectfully.You're striking a balance between supporting expression — it's good to say how you feel — and being thoughtful about how you do it.It's also a practice. Sometimes we'll make mistakes or feel awkward expressing ourselves, but that's far better than going behind someone's back or ignoring them forever.Sarah: Right. I'm reminded of a line we often use in peaceful parenting when one sibling is being “mean” to another verbally. We'll say, “You can tell your sibling how you feel without attacking them,” or, “You can tell your sibling how you feel without using unkind words.”That's really what you're saying — it's not what you say, it's how you say it.So as I was reading your book, I realized that many of the things we teach in peaceful parenting already help kids express themselves in healthy ways — and also not put up with being treated poorly.If you learn at home that you don't have power or agency because your parents don't treat you with respect, then you're more susceptible to peers treating you poorly.Rachel: Yeah, I think so. Parents teach us what to expect from other people. They also teach us how to respond in difficult moments.If they normalize difficult moments and your day-to-day life includes not feeling valued or safe, you'll import that into your relationships with others.It can be more subtle too — if you don't feel unconditionally valued, or if you have to fight for your parents' attention, or you don't feel consistent attachment, you might become vulnerable to pursuing peers who recreate that familiar but painful dynamic.If your “happy place” becomes constantly trying to get the popular girl to win you over, that might mirror how you once tried to win your parents' attention.Sarah: If your child is the victim of relational aggression — what should you do? Both in terms of how to support your child and whether there's anything you should do with other parents or the school?Rachel: Great questions. First, how to support your child when they go through something like this — and you're absolutely right, it can be really triggering for us as parents.Empathy really matters. And I know some people are like, “Yeah, duh, empathy.” But in my work — and in my life as a parent — I've found that we're wired to help and fix, not to empathize. That's how humans have survived — by fixing and protecting, not empathizing.So our instinct when we see our child in distress is to jump in and try to fix it.Sarah: It's called the “righting instinct,” I think.Rachel: The righting instinct — oh! Like to put them upright again?Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Oh, that's helpful — I didn't know that! Yes, the righting instinct.So we have to override that and remember that what a child really needs is to know that what they're going through is normal — even if it's incredibly hard — and that their feelings are normal. They need to know they're not alone.Say things like, “You must feel really hurt,” or “That sounds so hard.”Now, some kids will say, “No, I'm fine.” Not every kid will respond with, “Thanks for empathizing, Mom.” But you can still name the feeling — “If I were you, I'd feel the same way,” or, “That's really hard.”The feelings are scary, and kids want to know it's okay to feel how they feel — that they're not alone, and that it's normal.After that, try to override the fixing instinct as much as you can. Because unless your child is in acute distress, these are opportunities for them to develop problem-solving skills.They will experience social aggression — that's inevitable. If they don't, they're probably not connected to other people. So it's not a question of if, it's when.These moments are opportunities for you to be with them and support them — but not to do it for them.Ask, “Okay, this is going on — tell me one way you could respond. What's something you could do?”What we're doing by asking that is not jumping in with, “Here's what I'd do,” which doesn't teach them anything. We're giving them a chance to think.A lot of kids will say, “I don't know,” or get annoyed — that's fine. You can say, “Okay, what's one thing you could do?”If they say, “Nothing,” you can say, “Nothing is a choice. That's a strategy. What do you think will happen if you do nothing?”We live in a culture that's consistently deprived kids of opportunities to become resilient — deprived them of discomfort, and that's cost them problem-solving ability.I'm not saying kids should handle social aggression alone, but these moments are a chance to hold them and be with them — without doing it for them.So those are kind of the first two steps.Sarah: Well, I mean, I think empathize and empath—one thing that I read in your book is that sometimes parents dismiss that it's really happening, or because of their own fears of their child. Wanting their child to fit in, they might try to encourage them to stay in the relationship or to try to fix the relationship. Maybe you could speak to that a little bit.Rachel: Sure. Well, I think these kinds of moments can be incredibly disorienting for parents and triggering. And I use the word disorienting because we start to lose—we stop losing—the ability to differentiate between our feelings and experiences and our kids'.So, for example, if we have a lot of emotion and a lack of resolution around what happened to us, when our kids go through it, all those feelings come right back up. And then we may start to assume that our kids are actually suffering more than they are.Like, I'll give you an example of a kid I met and her parent. The kid had been not treated well in middle school and she said, “I just want to sit at a different table.” And her mom was like, “But this is terrible! This is a terrible thing. We have to do something about it.” And her kid was like, “I just want to sit at a different table.”So remaining aware of any delta between how your child is reacting and how you are is very key. And if you sense that difference, then you really need to conform to where your kid is and not insert or enforce your own emotions on them.I also think it runs the other direction. To your point, Sarah, if you yourself fear—if you remember being really afraid of what happened when you felt alone—and you start to imagine that if your child were to make a move that would put them in more isolation, that would be bad for them because it was bad for you. Again, that's a flag.Anytime you find that you're sort of flooding your parenting with the memories or the experiences that you had long before you were a parent—if you have the ability to differentiate—that's really where you learn how to do it differently. But becoming aware of that is most important.Sarah: That makes a lot of sense. And then I love how you're talking about inviting problem-solving—you know, “What do you want to do?” Because often we come in with this, “Well, this is what you do. You march back in there on Monday and you say this.”But as you said, that doesn't allow them to develop any skills.And, you know, where's the spot—where's the space—for encouraging? Because I know that my daughter, I went through this with her, with some mean girls in our community and at her school. And I just wanted to say, “Just make friends with different kids! Why do you keep trying to be friends with these same kids that are not being nice to you?”Like, where's the space for that? And what do you do?And that actually is a question that one of our members sent in: what should we do, if anything, if our child still wants to be friends with the kids that haven't been kind to them or who have been relationally aggressive?Rachel: Yeah, it's such a great question, and it's one that many, many parents hold. Because it is certainly a phenomenon where, you know, you keep going back to the person who has hurt you.And girls can be very inconsistent or all over the place—like, one day we're really good friends, the next day you don't want to sit with me at lunch, three days later you invite me to your house for a sleepover, right? You kick me out, you take me back in.There comes a point in a kid's life where they're old enough to make their own decisions. They're going to school, they're going to hang out with whoever they want. And I'm most interested in supporting the parents who actually can't control who their kid hangs out with.Because if it were as easy as just saying, “Well, you can't go over to their house anymore,” that would be fine. But it's not—because the kid's going to make their own social choices when they're out and about.So I think the answer is that relationships are a classroom. Relationships are a place where we learn all kinds of life skills—including how to say what we want, how to compromise, how to forgive, and how to end a relationship.I think that while it is incredibly frustrating and stressful for a parent to watch their child return to an aggressor, trying to remain as much of a guide as you can to your child, rather than bringing down the hammer, is key.So, in other words, one strategy I've suggested—which is not maybe for everyone—but it's kind of like: think about a friend you've had in your life as an adult who keeps going back to somebody who isn't good to them. Maybe you remember—they were in a relationship with a crappy person—and you're like, “What are you doing with that person? Why are you dating them?”And you probably weren't yelling at them or saying, “You better stop dating them or I'm not going to be your friend anymore.” You had to stick with them as they figured it out, and you knew they were learning and you hoped they would learn.There's a bit of that with your kid. Your kid is not your friend—your kid is much more triggering than your friend—but they're actually in a very similar learning experience to your friend who's dating somebody that everyone knows isn't right for them.And so as a parent, you want to stay connected and say, “Okay, so what's your takeaway from what just happened? What are you learning about this person—how they're treating you?” And you're going to say it a hundred times before maybe some neuron fires next week or next year, and they're like, “Oh, I get it.”Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Like, they need to keep hearing from you. They need to keep hearing that this isn't a good person—that this person's not good to you, that this person doesn't have the values our friends have.Sarah: That happened with my daughter—with a best friend from birth, too. I think it was around age eight when things started shifting, and the girl started being pretty mean to my daughter.And it took her four years until she finally made the decision on her own. One thing happened, and it finally cracked it open for her, and she just said, “I don't think [name] and I are best friends anymore.”She cried for about three hours, and she went through maybe a month or two of grieving that friendship. But that was kind of like—it had been the straw that broke the camel's back, where she finally saw everything in the true light. You know what I mean?But it was so hard for those four years to watch her keep going back and trying and giving her the benefit of the doubt. Anyhow, it was rough.Rachel: It was rough. And what do you think she learned from that?Sarah: Well, I think she learned to look other places for friends. And I think she learned how she wanted to be treated.So we've talked about how to support your child who's going through this. Is there anything you recommend doing with the other child's parents or with the school to support your child?Rachel: Yeah. I mean, I think it depends on their age, right?Sarah: Let's say tweens.Rachel: Okay. I think it depends. So first, with the other parents—it's important to remember that if you call another kid's parents without clearing it with your own kid first, you just never know what those other parents are going to disclose to their own child.If you don't know these parents well, you have no idea whether they'd go to their kid and say, “Guess who called me today?” So, as much as possible, have some communication with your own child about reaching out to another parent, especially if you don't know that parent or have a prior relationship.I understand the intention is to help, but when you call another parent, you can't control what that parent does with your words—or how that affects your own child. So you have to be very careful.Now, does that mean you always have to have your child's permission to reach out? No, it doesn't. There are times where you'll just do that because that's your job. I just want people to be aware of that.Also, when you call another parent, it's critical to start the conversation with: “I know I only have one perspective here. I know I can only see what I can see. Can you tell me if there are things I'm not seeing? I'd love to know what's going on from your perspective.”In other words, you're not going in heavy-handed or accusatory—you're going in with humility. It's okay to say you're upset and to talk about what you know, but it's critical to maintain the humility of realizing you don't know everything.And that children—just like everyone else—can have their own distortions or lenses through which they experience their peers.Finally, when you talk to another parent, be very precise in your language when you describe what happened. Stick to the behaviors that allegedly occurred.Like, you can say, “My understanding is that your kid called my kid with some kids over while they were having a sleepover, and it left my daughter feeling pretty embarrassed and hurt. Can you tell me more about what you know?”So you're not saying, “Your kid did this and really messed up my kid.” You're saying, “Here's my understanding of what happened, and here was the impact.” Those are two things you can control knowing—without accusing.Sarah: Yeah, that makes sense. I made all the mistakes with my friend's daughter's mother, so yeah, I think your advice is good.And I wish I had had it then. It's so hard not to rush in as a parent, especially when kids are younger. It's so hard not to rush in and try to—like you said—right things, to try to fix it and make things better.There's just a comment from Mare—when we were talking about kids going back to people who are unkind—she said that her grandson, who I know is nine, told her that he's “an easy mark.” And when she asked why he felt that way, he said his friend punched him in the stomach and he just accepted that and continues to be friends with him.Do you have any words for her around that—how she might support her grandson?Rachel: Yeah. I mean, first of all, I like that he's comfortable talking to his grandmother in that way—how wonderful for her that he's so vulnerable and authentic. So I would, as the grandma, be very cautious and handle delicately the vulnerability your grandson's giving you.And I would be very inquisitive. I'd put on my coach's hat and say, “Tell me more about that. Tell me more about what happens and why. Tell me more about your decision to accept it. What do you think would happen if you didn't accept it?”I've learned a lot in the later part of my career about the importance of just holding space for people to talk something through. You don't have to give advice. You don't have to have an idea. You can just ask questions and let them talk it through.Talking aloud to someone who cares and listens closely is not that different from journaling. Both can help you arrive at new insights that you couldn't otherwise on your own—but don't require someone telling you what to do.So I think that kind of stance, if you can take it with your grandson, would be very effective—and you'd probably learn a ton.Sarah: Thanks. That's great. So the final part of that three-part question that we keep getting back to is—what about with the school?One thing that I thought was interesting in your book is you talked about how a lot of the kids that are doing the relational aggression have a lot of social status, and that it often flies under the radar—that the teachers don't see what's going on.I think that would make it especially tricky to try to get support from the school if they're not seeing what your child is reporting back to you.Rachel: Yes, it does make it tricky. And you know, psychological aggression is just that—it's psychological. So unless you're listening, you'd miss it.It's also the case that—like Eddie Haskell in Leave It to Beaver—when the adult shows up, a lot of the most aggressive kids turn into very likable, charming, dynamic kids. They know how to work the adults in the room.This is why even the most devoted, skilled teachers who really want to catch this stuff still say to me, “Why don't I see it? I'm trying so hard.”That does make it hard. And I say that because it makes it particularly hard for a school to respond if they're like, “We don't see it.”So, when you talk to the school, it's important to keep that in mind—that this stuff might not be visible.It's also important to practice that same humility, because often the school does see things you don't. They may have awareness of the different sides of the story.Schools are filled with human beings who are tired, and if they get a two-page single-spaced email from a parent at 11:30 at night with a call the next morning saying, “Why haven't you responded?”—they're not super psyched to work with you.Treating people like they're customer-service reps who are there to serve you—especially if you pay tuition—I understand why that happens, but you're going to catch a lot more flies with honey.Sarah: Than with vinegar.Rachel: Yeah, I couldn't remember what the insect was—but I think you catch more flies with honey.It's hard. It's heavy. It's a tall ask, because you're hurting as a parent—you're frustrated, you're angry, you're worried about your kid. But it's a really complex situation.A couple other ways to approach this: figure out if your school has an anti-bullying or behavior policy that acknowledges these more indirect forms of aggression.Also, I'd caution parents against using the word bullying unless it actually meets that definition. That's a big turn-off for school administrators and teachers when parents elevate something to bullying that isn't.Bullying is more of a protracted campaign of one person against another, typically with a big power dynamic. Most of what kids experience are acts of aggression, but not ongoing campaigns.So being careful about the words you use is important too.And then, see what training teachers have—what professional development they've been given around what to look out for, how to manage their classrooms.There was a long period in my life where all I did was professional development sessions for schools. We talked about, “Have you talked to your students about body language? About the power of rolling your eyes when someone speaks up, or laughing, or staring?”Those are silent behaviors, but they send strong messages. Many teachers don't have those conversations with students—and that's the kind of thing that makes a difference in communicating expectations.Sarah: Someone on the call just asked a question related to that. She's curious what you have to say about shame being used by girls as a form of aggression—especially middle schoolers.Rachel: That's interesting—when you say shame, meaning like trying to shame the target for something they've done?Sarah: Yeah, she says yes. Like rolling your eyes at somebody when they do something—that would make someone feel a sense of shame. She also said her daughter was shamed for talking to boys.Rachel: Yeah. So I think there's quite a bit of shame that both boys and girls experience.So—sorry, I'm reading the comments too—your daughter was shamed for talking to boys who came to their lunch table, and was asked to sit at a different lunch table?Yeah, I wonder if that's about shaming for breaking an unwritten code—“We don't talk to boys.” Which can also be rooted in cultural expectations around girls—like, “You're such a slut if you talk to boys,” or “We don't.”And so there's a way in which girls can police each other and shame each other by channeling messages from the culture that they've learned.What I have to say about that is that girls do become agents of the culture—and of patriarchal culture—that says, “You're not supposed to talk to boys because that means you must be sexual with them,” or, “We just don't like those people, so we're going to punish you.”Boys will do it to each other too—when they're vulnerable or show feelings.So, to support a girl who's going through that: if we think about the definition of shame, it's to feel like you are a bad person—that your core identity is defective.The difference between shame and guilt is that shame is about you, and guilt is about the thing you did.We're all vulnerable to shame, but I think tween girls are particularly so because they're both able to understand what adults are saying and still in a very self-focused moment in development. That's a pretty toxic brew.It means you can easily take on shame without fully understanding what's being said to you.So I think just really taking a moment to say, “You are a good human being. You are valued. You are loved. You're not alone.”You may not think a moment like this requires those words, but if your child is feeling ashamed because of those behaviors, it's important to remind them they're just like everyone else—in the best way—and that even if they've been othered or singled out, they're still part of a loved whole, whether that's family or friends.Sarah: Yeah, when you were saying that, I was reminded of something I did with my daughter that I talk about a lot—making sure our children, even if they're having social troubles or not feeling like they have friends or the friends they want—making sure they feel unconditionally loved and appreciated and delighted in and celebrated at home can be very protective, I think.And I've heard adults talk about that—who were bullied—and say, “The only reason I came through it with my self-esteem intact was that my parents made me believe this wasn't happening because there was something wrong with me.” They made me feel loved and celebrated and appreciated at home.So I think that's something for all of us to keep sight of too—if our kids are having friendship troubles—to do the work at home to help them.Rachel: Yes. A thousand percent. That has nothing to do with their friends.Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Yes.Sarah: Okay, two more questions before we let you go. A question from a member who couldn't be on the call: any advice for making future friends once they've gone through a mean relationship?So this person's child is on the other side of a difficult elementary school relationship, starting middle school at a new school, and is finding it hard—maybe she's a little hesitant about making new friends after what she's gone through. Any advice about that?Rachel: I think you validate it. You validate the hesitation.And you also say, “Hey—do you notice how many people date and break up and then start dating new people? Or get divorced and marry new people? Friendships are the same thing.”We're not meant to have one best friend forever—that's a myth. People lose friends and also cut loose people that aren't right for them.Maybe your daughter's been through that—but remind her we're constantly regenerating new connections.It's okay to feel a little gun-shy or apprehensive. Ask, “What would make you feel more comfortable making new friends so you don't feel like you're exposing yourself too much?”Again, always staying curious, inquisitive—not assuming you know what's right because you're the parent—but asking, “What would need to be true for you to feel comfortable making this new friendship?”Maybe she's not comfortable socializing one-on-one outside of school for a long time and wants to keep it to school. That's okay.So being flexible and kind of flexing to where your child is, while also holding the line about the importance of continuing to connect—that's important.Sarah: Love that. My final question to you is one I ask all my podcast guests—and you can answer this in any context, not just what we were talking about today—but if you had a time machine and could go back to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Rachel: Oh my God, so much. Don't let your kid have YouTube as early as you did. That would be the first one.I guess I'd say that feeling out of control is normal—and you've got to learn to breathe through that more. Yelling isn't going to give you anything but a false sense of control, and it's just going to upset your kid.That's the truth of it. I think I would've yelled less if I'd been more comfortable with the discomfort—feeling like things were out of control and I couldn't manage or have the solution for something.Sarah: Love that. Thank you so much for joining us. Where's the best place for folks to find out more about you and what you do?Rachel: Find me at rachelsimmons.com.Sarah: All right. Thank you so much, Rachel.Rachel: Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Great questions. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

“What we're trying to do is build a forged family for people that have been despised, outcast, lost and forgotten, and pushed to the furthest fringes of society.”—Alan GrahamBefore you truly see an issue, you only know part of the story. But once you develop empathy for the people it affects, you can't unsee its importance.That's what happened for Alan Graham, who has now dedicated nearly three decades of his life to supporting his houseless neighbors in Austin, TX.Alan is the Founder & CEO of Mobile Loaves and Fishes, a Christian nonprofit that has been empowering their community into a lifestyle of service since 1998. In that time, they've served over 6.5 million meals and helped more than 470 neighbors move from the streets into permanent homes.In this episode, Alan shares:His personal journey of faith that led him to start Mobile Loaves and FishesWhy we should have compassion for those who find themselves without supportThe value in heart-to-heart solutionsAnd why nonprofits should stick with new initiatives longer than we often doFor Alan, the purpose of his life and the work he's dedicated to is quite simple: To love God and love his neighbor. This conversation will bring you right back to the roots of your own work, reminding you of the simple truths that truly fuel your vision. Listen in!Find links to resources mentioned and key takeaways in the show notes for this episode: www.futurenonprofit.com/alan-graham

Show Notes In this special 100th episode of Edgy Ideas, we mark a moment of reflection and celebration. Simon is joined by a panel of thoughtful voices; Chris Yates, Leslie Brissett, Eleanor Moore and Hetty Einzig, to explore a topic close to the heart,  the soul at work  and what it means to live a good life amidst the turbulence of our times. They reflect on the quiet yet powerful force of soul, not as something otherworldly, but that which connects us more deeply to ourselves, to each other, and to the work we do. The panel discusses: how do we re-enchant the workplace? How do we speak about 'soul' without falling into cliche or sentimentality? And how do we cultivate a spirituality that is lived, relational, and grounded in everyday acts? Their conversation weaves personal stories with collective insights, inviting you into a space where the sacred and the secular meet. Enjoy this rich and resonant conversation as we mark a century of episodes, and step forward soulfully into what comes next. Key Reflections Edgy Ideas has evolved to meet the moment - seeking pathways to live well in disruptive times. Soul at work is not a luxury, but a necessity - a call to engage the whole person: mind, body, and essence. Everyday spirituality matters. It's found not in lofty ideas, but in presence, care, and connection. Work can uplift or diminish the soul - context and culture matter. Relational dynamics are the hidden architecture of soulful work. Activism and soul are not opposites - activism can be a soulful practice. Grace appears in the ordinary fleeting moments that illuminate meaning. Sacred spaces can be created anywhere we choose to be present. Soul embraces the paradox - the light and the dark, joy and struggle, both shaping who we are. To witness another with kindness is perhaps the most radical act of all. Keywords Soul, Spirituality, Connection, Presence, Grace, Wholeness, Meaning, Authenticity, Relationships, Transformation, Soul at Work, Everyday Spirituality 

Still tweaking your sales page? Swapping button colors and rewriting CTAs? This episode pulls back the curtain on the real reason your sales might be stalling — fear. Meghan exposes how fear hides behind “design mode” and how your reluctance to pitch is actually costing you more than any bad funnel ever could.You'll Learn:The psychology behind why entrepreneurs stay stuck “editing” instead of selling.How to tell when you're avoiding direct sales by obsessing over pages and branding.Why your buyers crave real-time reassurance — not another Canva slide.Tactical ways to pitch based on buyer psychology — and build sales confidence fast.

One of the most powerful tools for shaping behavior is relationships. Too often behavior is framed as a problem to be fixed but we should shift our thinking since behavior is communication. We should be asking, what are they trying to tell us? Relationships can be the bridge to understanding behavior. These builds trust and safety creating a trauma-informed classroom where your students are engaged in their learning. Today you'll learn about tools and resources that you can begin to use right now.   Here are some of Andrew's resources that he discuss: Relate-to-Educate-Relational-Guidance.pdf Improving Student Outcomes Through Restorative Practices | Learning Policy Institute 101 Inclusive Get-to-Know-You Questions for Students [+ PDF Download]     GET YOUR STUDENT BEHAVIOR JOURNAL on AMAZON TODAY!                                             https://a.co/d/iFwFezb     “Enhance Your Student's Health, Wellness, and Stress Relief Through  the Power of Journaling”   Get your FREE Cheat Sheet: Effective Strategies for Emotional Regulation by signing up here: diane-bachman.mykajabi.com/opt-in   If you found today's episode valuable, please take time to subscribe and leave me a review in Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify, IHeart, or wherever you're listening. Your voice matters and will help others!   Is there a behavior topic you would like to hear or hear more of? We can chat through any of these ways….   Website: Behavior Strategies 4 Class    Book a FREE Strategy Call Today:  https://calendly.com/4behavior    Let's Connect! - diane@behaviorstrategies4class.com,    Join my Facebook Group! - Behavior Strategies 4 Class (193) Diane Bachman - YouTube (25) Diane Bachman | LinkedIn

Sometimes you share something about the brain—like how all behavior makes sense—and people push back hard. Maybe they dismiss it. Maybe they even get mad. It can feel confusing, because once you see the truth of relational neuroscience, it feels like such a relief. So why are some folks so resistant?In this episode, you'll learn:Why resistance is often the nervous system's way of protecting from grief, shame, or instabilityHow relational neuroscience challenges not just parenting practices but entire worldviewsWays to respond—with compassion for others and yourself—when resistance shows upResources mentioned in this podcast:Parenting When Your Partner Is Not On Board {EP 146} Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/resistApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

As ministry leaders, we often imagine that building trust is the ultimate goal—once we have it, the road to transformation should be clear. But what happens when trust alone isn't enough? The truth is, trust is only the starting point. Moving beyond it requires us to invest our trust in ways that actually make change possible, even when it means taking risks and facing loss together.In this episode, Tod Bolsinger, author of Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, shares why trust is essential but insufficient for transformative leadership, how we can begin to discern our congregation's unique calling, and what it takes to wisely invest trust as we guide people through the challenges of adaptive change.THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:Tod Bolsinger asserts that there is no transformation without trust.Leadership requires energizing a community toward its own transformation for the sake of a shared mission.People will not trust a leader to guide them through difficult change if they don't trust them with current, familiar responsibilities.Leaders build trust through both trustworthy character and technical competence.Relational congruence means consistently showing up as the same person in all relationships, reinforcing trust.Even leaders of good character need to be experienced by others as trustworthy in daily interactions.Technical competence in areas such as scripture, soul care, and organizational skills is non-negotiable for pastoral leaders.Trust is the bank account that leaders must invest (and spend) when leading adaptive or transformational change.When transformation is pursued, trust levels may decrease as change creates uncertainty and resistance.Tod Bolsinger notes that maintaining trust means not squandering it on trivial matters, but instead strategically investing it in real transformation.The process of transformation begins with clarifying a congregation's unique charism—its distinctive gift to the broader community.Charism emerges from actual values and stories, not from aspirational wish lists or debates about what a church “should” be.Discerning a congregation's charism requires telling stories about the times they were most proud of the church.Identifying a congregation's charism is followed by asking how it can address the pain points of the community, thus connecting internal giftedness with external needs.Transformation always involves loss, and truly adaptive change means some may leave, but new vibrancy and alignment with mission can develop as a result.RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:Church Leadership InstituteBooks mentioned:Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, by Tod BolsingerRelated episodes:230. The Power of an 8-word Mission Statement, with Tod Bolsinger264. Building a Future-Focused Church, with Kara Powell, Jake Mulder, and Raymond Chang272. Beyond Church Revitalization, with Josh HaydenSend me a text! I'd love to know what you're thinking!Get Becoming Leaders of Shalom for free HERE.Click HERE to get my FREE online course, BECOMING LEADERS OF SHALOM.

Alan Barnhart grew up in Memphis, where his parents ran a small crane and rigging company. After college he sensed a call to missions just as his parents invited him and his brother to take over the family business. As he wrestled with the decision, God's answer was clear; Alan's full-time ministry was the business world. From day one, the brothers regarded the company as God's. To guard against the spiritual risks of wealth, Alan set a “lifestyle finish line,” capping his personal income at the level of a ministry worker. They also committed to give 50% of annual profits to God's Kingdom. Over the next 39 years, the once-small firm grew toward a billion-dollar enterprise and now channels millions each year into gospel work. Later, Alan and his brother formalized their conviction by transferring 100% of their ownership to a charitable trust, while continuing to lead the company. Alan's example has inspired a generation of givers to steward their families, businesses, and resources with wisdom and courage. You won't want to miss this story. Major Topics Include: Avoiding the dangers of wealth Finding freedom in a financial finish line How God led him to give away his company while still being it's steward Thinking though what to do with profit Developing relationship with the recipients of your generosity  Generosity decisions as a group Responsive giving vs. strategic giving Differences between giving from business capital and giving from personal capital Making difficult decisions in generosity  Relational aspects of being as a business and generosity leader Managing a capped lifestyle with children Thinking through company succession Stewarding your generosity story QUOTES TO REMEMBER “God, I'll go wherever you want me to go.” “My full time ministry was going to be in the business world.” “Jesus warned about money more than He warned about anything else.” “Contentment doesn't come from stuff, it comes from enjoying what you already have.” “Holding things with an open hand has led to freedom.” “God isn't trying to extract something from us. He doesn't want our money, He wants us.” “Generosity breaks the power of greed.” “We say no to 99% of giving opportunities so we can give a big yes to the 1% we support.” “We want to be as strategic in our giving of money as we are in our making of money.” “What does God want us to do with His money?” “There is work to being a steward.” “What we're doing is not crazy.” “We didn't see the company as ours, so our kids never saw it as theirs.” “Be a steward of your story as much as you are a steward of your money, because your story may change someone else's life.” LINKS FROM THE SHOW Young Life Journey to Generosity (JoG) with Generous Giving (see our interviews with cofounder, Todd Harper and CEO, April Chapman) Rich Christians in the Age of Hunger by Ronald J. Sider National Christian Foundation (see our interview with President Emeritus, David Wills) The Finish Line Community Facebook Group The Finish Line Community LinkedIn Group BIBLE REFERENCES FROM THE SHOW Matthew 19:23 | A Warning for the Rich   And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven.   Matthew 6:24 | Choose Your Master   “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.   Matthew 6:19-20 | Treasures in Heaven   “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust[e] destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.   Luke 12:13-21 | The Parable of the Rich Fool   1 Timothy 6:6-7 | Godliness with Contentment   But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.   Luke 21:1-4 | The Widow's Offering   Matthew 5:16 | Your Good Works Give Glory to the Father   In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.   Matthew 6:3-4 | A Time for Giving in Secret But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! If you have a thought about something you heard, or a story to share, please reach out! You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn. You can also contact us directly from our contact page. If you want to engage with the Finish Line Community, check out our groups on Facebookand LinkedIn.

Nathan Raynor

By Philip Aust - In this message, let's identify four relational Truths God offers in His Word that most don't know or they've chosen to discard in the name of progress.

Today, we hear from Discovery Institute Senior Fellow, podcaster, and writer Andrew McDiarmid as he chats with In The Market radio host Janet Parshall about the dangers associated with humans having relationships with AI. The discussion focuses on what McDiarmid calls “relational AI” – AI chatbots and assistants that aim to mimic human interactions and relationships. McDiarmid discusses how relational AI can Read More › Source

Send us a textAre your conversations in networking events and client meetings leading straight to dead ends? This week on "The Selling Podcast," Mike and Scott tackle a critical skill that separates master networkers from awkward noodlers: the difference between "Nothing" and "Great" conversation starters.Mike and Scott break down the safe, lazy phrases that kill rapport (yes, we're looking at you, "How's the weather?" and "Busy day?"). They reveal why these are just statements about facts that give your prospect nothing to build on, wasting valuable time.Then, they pivot to the powerful framework of Great Conversation Starters. Learn to swap boring small talk for open-ended questions that spark genuine connection, interest, and depth, such as:Personal & Relational: "What's keeping you excited lately?"Situational: "How did you get into what you do?"Deeper & Engaging: "What's a project or goal you're working on right now?"The golden rule is simple: Nothing starters are statements; Great starters are questions about stories, emotions, or choices. Tune in to get the exact cheat sheet for transforming your introductions into meaningful dialogue that builds trust and ultimately drives your sales pipeline.Support the showScott SchlofmanMike Williams - Cell 801-635-7773 #sales #podcast #customerfirst #relationships #success #pipeline #funnel #sales success #selling #salescoach

After infidelity, “safety” becomes the word we chase; - Emotional safety - Relational safety - Internal safety But what does that actually mean? And how do you build it when trust has been broken? In this episode, Luke explores the delicate balance between finding safety within yourself and rebuilding safety with your partner. Because healing isn't about becoming immune to pain or pretending you don't need anyone, it's about knowing how to meet yourself when the pain comes, and recognising who's capable of meeting you there too. In this episode, we'll explore: What “inner safety” really means (and what it doesn't) Why self-trust and relational trust are two sides of the same bridge How to stop gaslighting yourself into accepting unsafe behaviour The difference between chaos and connection Why craving reassurance isn't weakness, it's wiring If you've ever wondered whether it's possible to feel safe again, both within yourself and in a relationship that's been shaken by betrayal, this episode is for you. Connect with Luke: Website: www.lifecoachluke.com Instagram: @mylifecoachluke Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

Shame is one of the most powerful forces in relationships and one of the least recognized. It hides behind defensiveness, blame, denial, and emotional shutdowns. It keeps us from hearing each other, owning our impact, and creating real repair. But what if we could build shame resilience and become great at relationships? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the ways shame shaped their marriage—and what finally helped them break the cycle. They unpack why most people confuse shame with guilt, how shame can masquerade as moral failure, and why separating identity from behavior is essential for connection. From psychoeducation to spiritual perspective, they share what helped them heal. Whether you collapse when someone's upset with you, or go on the offense to avoid feeling wrong, this conversation will help you clarify what's happening and build the courage to show up with more ownership and compassion. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Visit http://trademark.church​​ to learn more about Trademark and how you can get involved.  LOVE ∙ SERVE ∙ LEAD 

Dr Bruce Perry is back! Every time I chat with him, I end up walking away with my head spinning (in the best possible way). This time we’re unpacking why everyone feels so bloody fried right now... and well, how doom scrolling, violent content on our feeds, and the pressure to be 'resilient' 24/7 sure isn't helping. Bruce explains why our brains literally can’t function properly when we’re overloaded, and why the 'do hard shit' version of resilience is rubbish. Real resilience is built like strength training - small doses, spaced out, with recovery in between. We also get into dissociation and how it can save your life in trauma but also be a creative superpower... plus why so many of us are stuck in relational poverty even though we’re more 'connected' than ever. This chat will change the way you think about toughness, trauma, and how you look after yourself in a world that just won’t slow down. SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS Website: testartfamilylawyers.com.au TIFFANEE COOK Linktree: linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches/ Website: tiffcook.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tiffaneecook/ Facebook: facebook.com/rollwiththepunchespodcast/ Instagram: instagram.com/rollwiththepunches_podcast/ Instagram: instagram.com/tiffaneeandcoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daniah Greenberg: The Bible Was Missing for 1,000 Years, & It's Relational Foundation | The Basement

October is about the 'how.'There's plenty of resources in the planetary alignments this month: Mars is at home in Scorpio, Jupiter is exalted in Cancer, and Venus will enter her home in Libra halfway through the month.The question isn't about whether we have enough resources. The question is how we navigate our relationship with the resources we're given.How we walk the path is the path itself.We dive into: Foundations for creating true impact without losing your soul.Maintaining integrity as a pathway to receiving Divine assistance.Creating new, updated contracts with ourselves and others – not out of fantasy or rigid expectations, but out of clear, grounded sight.The deeper lessons behind ideological disagreements.I also pulled Hexagram 10 and 59 from the I Ching. I use Brian Browne Walker's translation of the I Ching. If you've enjoyed and benefited from the podcast, I invite you to apply for private mentorship and coaching with me. This is an intensive container, designed to support you in refining your self-leadership skills, moving through important life thresholds with grace, and expanding your capacity for creative expansions.Try the incredible breathwork and meditation app Open for 30 days free using this special link. This podcast is hosted, produced, and edited by Jonathan Koe. Theme music is also composed by me! Connect with me through my newsletter, my Instagram @jonathankoeofficial, and my music. For podcast-related inquiries, email me at healingthespiritpodcast@gmail.com.