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Welcome back to my 2-part podcast episode, where I'm talking about how to “de-center” men (or really anything or anyone we've made the “sun” in our lives). We named the pattern: what it looks like to center men and the emotional, relational, and cultural costs when we orbit someone else's needs at the expense of our own. Today we move from insight to action (Yay!). This episode is about how to stop self-abandoning without burning your life down, and what decentering looks like in real, everyday practice. I'll walk you through a clear framework you can try this week—tiny choices, boundary language, nervous-system support, and specific drills for dating, work, and long-term partnership. You'll also hear a couple of personal moments that show how these tools play out when things get clear, messy, and very human. This is what you'll hear in this episode: A short recap of Part 1: a plain-language definition of “centering men” and why the costs keep adding up over time. How to spot the pattern in real time using quick questions (“Am I doing this for their comfort? For avoiding conflict? To not inconvenience someone else?”) and a pause before reacting. Relational autonomy in action: the “Two-Yes Rule”, and speaking your “why” without over-explaining. Exiting self-silence with nervous-system help: a scheduled anger/venting that doesn't bleed into your relationships. Reframing “being disliked for having needs” as data—not disaster. Decentering drills for real life: speaking first and reclaiming your voice at work, and self-regulation + clear timing in partnerships. Shifting the ecosystem: auditing your media, re-centering women in your inputs, etc. Decentering isn't about rejecting or hating men; it's about reclaiming yourself in a culture that has taught us that centering men will keep us safe and it's the only option. My hope is that this episode gives you a practical path: notice the old bargain as it's happening, choose one small values-aligned action, and let your nervous system catch up as you practice new boundaries. And please try the homework! Pick one domain where you tend to self-abandon, run a tiny experiment this week, and reflect on what your body and inner voice tell you. If this landed, share the episode and let me know what shifted for you! Resources from this episode: Episode 697: De-Centering Men Part 1: What it means and what it costs us Download a Free Digital Version of my upcoming book, Live Like You Give a Damn Hop on my email list for updates on my books, programs, and more: andreaowen.com/free My Ketamine Therapy Journey secret podcast series Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I've compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ https://andreaowen.com/podcast/699 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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What if a single, gentle question could turn tense moments into real connection? That's the promise of “contracting,” a simple consent-based habit that replaces surprise talks with intentional, focused conversations. We walk through how this tiny shift—asking “Is now a good time?” and agreeing on a short window—respects attention, reduces defensiveness, and builds trust that sticks.• what contracting is and why it works• how consent checks prevent ambush talks• sample scripts for respectful timing• prepping topics with short previews• external vs internal processing styles• three reasons contracting builds safety• the sprinkler story and timing misfires• honoring reschedules and follow-through• presence rules: phones down, eyes up• weekly challenge to try contractingThank you so much if you've already purchased Bad Marriage Advice. If you have purchased it and had a chance to look through it, I would absolutely love and appreciate if you would go back to Amazon and leave your honest review. Use this link to leave a review --> https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?&asin=B0FQ46HG3S.Send us a text
In this episode of Relationship Growth, Lilly walks you through the exact framework she uses with her clients to help them create deeper, healthier relationships. She breaks down each phase of her signature method, the Relational Blueprint Method, and shows how it helps you identify your patterns, expand your capacity to receive love, and learn to communicate from a grounded and loving place.You'll learn how to move from reaction to regulation, from confusion to clarity, and from disconnection to lasting connection. Whether you're single, dating, or partnered, this episode gives you a roadmap for how to start doing the real work of relational growth.In this episode, you'll learn:• What the Relational Blueprint Method is and how it works• Why setting clear intentions at the beginning of your growth journey matters• How to identify your nervous system's primary survival response• The importance of emotional experiencing and building resilience• How to recognize and interrupt your relationship patterns• The role of your inner child and the wise adult in healing• What it means to “say the real thing” and lead with love in communicationConnect with Lilly:Follow Lilly on Instagram @lillyrachelsSubscribe to her Substack at www.lillyrachels.comIf this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a review. Share it with a friend who's ready to grow in love and learn how to communicate the real thing. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lillyrachels.com
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Mentorship Clarity CallInner Compass: A North + South Node Course Get Your Free Evolutionary Archetype GuideLUME red light therapy box for $260 offLearn About "The Spayce Project"In this week's episode of Soul Archaeology, evolutionary astrologer and healer Ali Ofstedal unpacks the New Moon in Libra at 28° marking the end of eclipse season — and the beginning of a new chapter of embodied relational work.As the Sun moves into Scorpio and Neptune returns to Pisces, we shift from relational refinement into emotional integration, entering a cycle of deeper truth and spiritual clarity.This episode explores how the Yod formation at this New Moon acts as a catalyst for healing karmic relational dynamics, the collective shift from air to water, and what it means to move through this threshold with grace, clarity, and self-trust.In this episode:• New Moon in Libra — closing eclipse season and rebirthing through balance• Sun enters Scorpio — integration, depth, and the truth beneath appearances• Neptune retrogrades into Pisces — final lessons in compassion and clarity• Sun square Pluto — confronting control and power• Grand Water Trine — returning to the heart through emotional wisdomTHANK YOU for being here.Kamana Coffee Replacement use the code ALIO15 for 15% offPound Jewelry use the code ALI20 for 20% offEarth Archive's Rainforest Serum - use the code ALIOFSTEDAL for 11% offUse the code "PODCAST" for 10% off an astrocartography or astrology session with me.Catori Life jewelryThank for you being here.Your presence means the world. I would love to hear from you.Ways you can support Soul Archaeology: Subscribe, rate & review on Apple or Spotify, share on social media or with a friendSoul Archaeology on Instagram Ali Ofstedal on InstagramWork with Ali
Something is coming: https://lectern.johnvervaeke.com/p/whatnext What if mastery isn't about perfection—but about transformation? In this episode of The Lectern, John Vervaeke is joined by Ethan Hsieh to explore how the cultivation of virtuosity—typically associated with the arts—can become central to philosophical and existential growth. Ethan introduces his Tiamat process, a three-tier developmental framework integrating performance training, cognitive science, and dialogical practice. Together, they explore what it means to live a deliberately developmental life, moving beyond therapy into embodied transformation. Ethan draws from his background in acting, pedagogy, and philosophy to offer a new model of self-cultivation rooted in agency, feedback, metacognition, and trust. Ethan Hsieh is a facilitator, educator, and philosophical practitioner whose work bridges performance, cognition, and transformative pedagogy. As the creator of the Tiamat process, he integrates insights from embodied practice, developmental psychology, and dialogical philosophy to help individuals cultivate virtuosity as a way of life. Ethan is also a co-founder of Five to Midnight, a community of practice that fosters relational, developmental growth through shared inquiry. Learn more: http://5tomidnight.org - 00:00 – Opening and intentions 03:00 – Ethan's background in theater and philosophy 07:30 – What is Tiamat? Three-tiered developmental model 11:00 – Mapping metacognition through embodied practice 14:00 – Why “meta-maps” matter 17:00 – Habituation and interrupting automaticity 20:00 – Tiamat vs traditional therapy 24:00 – Participatory transformation and co-regulation 29:00 – Why agency must be distributed 1:00:00 – Where transformation lives: tier two dynamics 1:05:00 – Closing reflections - Tiamat Process – Ethan's developmental model blending performance, cognition, and feedback Meta Maps – Tools for mapping metacognition and lived experience Postures of Presence – Ethan's term for enacted, relational awareness Five to Midnight – Ethan's practice-based community: http://5tomidnight.org Deliberately Developmental Civilization – Concept by Ken Wilber & Dustin Dene Unified Theory of Knowledge (UTOK) – Metatheoretical cognitive framework: https://unifiedtheoryofknowledge.org - Ideas, People, and Works Mentioned: Tiamat process Virtuosity and virtue Meta maps and metacognition Postures of presence Embodied transformation Relational ontology Distributed agency Participatory knowing Deliberately developmental civilization Complexification and growth Therapy vs. transformative practice Feedback and co-regulation Performance and philosophy Five to Midnight Unified Theory of Knowledge (UTOK) Ken Wilber Dustin Dene John Vervaeke - Follow John Vervaeke: https://johnvervaeke.com https://twitter.com/DrJohnVervaeke https://www.youtube.com/@johnvervaeke https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke
You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I am giving you another sneak peek inside my Peaceful Parenting Membership! Listen in as I interview Rachel Simmons as part of our membership's monthly theme of “Friendship Troubles”. Rachel is an expert on relational aggression, AKA mean girls. We discuss how to intervene in this behaviour when kids are young, how to prevent our child from doing this, and how we can support our children when they're experiencing it.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:27 What is relational aggression?* 8:50 Both boys and girls engage in this type of aggression* 10:45 How do we intervene with young kids* 14:00 How do we teach our kids to communicate more effectively* 22:30 How to help our children who are dealing with relational aggression* 33:50 Can you reach out to the aggressive child's parents?* 38:00 How to reach out to the school* 47:30 How to help our kids make new friends after relational aggressionResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Rachel's websitexx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERERachel interview transcriptSarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's episode is another sneak peek inside my membership, where I interviewed Rachel Simmons — an expert on relational aggression, AKA “mean girls.” She wrote a book called Odd Girl Out, which is all about the topic of relational aggression and how we can support our children when they're experiencing it — and what to do if our child is actually doing that to other people.If you don't know what relational aggression is, don't worry — listen up, because she goes into the definition of it. This was a great conversation. My members had questions, I had questions, and in the end, we all agreed it was a very helpful discussion. I think you'll find it helpful as well — no matter how old your child is or whether or not they've experienced any relational aggression.This is something we should all be aware of, and as parents, we actually have a lot of control over preventing our child from becoming someone who uses relational aggression.As I said, this is a sneak peek inside my membership, where we have a theme every month. This month's theme was “Friendship Troubles,” and it actually came as a request from one of our members. So we brought in Rachel to talk to us about relational aggression, which this member's child had been struggling with.Every month in the membership, we have a theme — I do some teaching about it, and we also bring in a guest expert for teaching and Q&A.If you'd like to join us inside the membership, you can go to reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership to learn more and join us.Another thing we do inside the membership is office hours. You may have heard a recent podcast that gave a sneak peek into what those are like. We do office hours twice a week where you're welcome to drop in, ask a question, get support, or share a win — from me, Corey, and other members. It's just a wonderful place.Our membership is my favorite corner of the internet, and we've been doing it for six years. It really is a special place. I'd love for you to join us! Please let me know if you have any questions, or just head over to reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership to learn more.And now — let's hear from Rachel.Hey Rachel, welcome to the podcast.Rachel: Thank you.Sarah: Can you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?Rachel: Sure. Well, I'm based in Western Massachusetts, and I'm a researcher and author. Over the last eight years, I've also become an executive coach. I've always been fascinated by — and inspired by — the psychology of girls and women.Over what's now become a long career, I've worked with women and girls across the lifespan — beginning, I'd say, in elementary school, and more recently working with adult women.I've always been animated by questions about how women and girls experience certain phenomena and spaces differently, and how paying attention to those experiences can contribute to their overall wellness and potential.Sarah: Nice. And I just finished reading your book Odd Girl Out, and I could see how much research went into it. I think you mentioned you interviewed people for a few years to write that book.Rachel: It was a long time, yeah. I was just actually reflecting on that. I came across a shoebox filled with cassette tapes — little cassette tapes of the interviews I did when I wrote that book, which came out 20 years ago.I worked all over the United States and tried to speak to as many girls as I could.Sarah: It's a great book — highly recommended. We'll put a link to it in the show notes. Thank you for writing it.So today we invited you here because we want to talk about relational aggression. Can you give us a definition of what relational aggression is?Rachel: Yes. Relational aggression is a psychological form of aggression — a way that people express themselves when they're trying to get a need met or are upset about something. It usually starts as early as two or three years old, when kids become verbal, and it's the use of relationship as a weapon.It can start off as something like the silent treatment — “I'm going to turn away from you because I'm upset with you” — cutting someone off as a way of communicating unhappiness. That silence becomes the message.I remember once interviewing a seventh-grade girl who told me she gave people the silent treatment — that she'd stop talking to them as a way to get what she wanted. That was really unusual, because most girls won't come up and be like, “Yeah, here are all the ways I'm mean.”In fact, it's often the secrecy that makes this stuff hard to talk about. So I was like, wow, here's a unicorn telling me she's doing it. And I asked, “Why do you do it?” And she said, “Because with my silence, I let my friends know what's going to happen if they don't do what I want.”A very powerful description of relational aggression.So that's the silent treatment, but it can also take more verbal forms. Like, “If you don't give me that toy, I won't be your friend anymore.” Or, “If you don't play with me at recess today, then our friendship is over.”The threat is always that I'll take away a relationship. And it's so powerful because — what do we want more than connection? That's a profound human need. So it's a very, very powerful form of aggression.Sarah: Your book is called Odd Girl Out, and you focused on women and girls. Do you think this also happens with boys? Has it started happening more with boys? What's your take — is it still mainly a girl thing? I mean, when I think of relational aggression, I think of “mean girls,” right?Rachel: Yes, I think a lot of people do — and certainly did when I first started researching this book many years ago. I did too.It's important to remember that yes, boys definitely do this, and they do it as much as girls starting in middle school — at least according to the research I read. I haven't read the very recent studies, so that could have changed, but back when I was doing this work, no one was writing about boys doing it.There was almost no research, and frankly, because of my own experience — seeing boys being more direct and girls being indirect — I assumed it was just a girl thing. But it most definitely is not.I think I and others, in many ways, did a disservice to boys by not studying them. I wish I had. It's something that's much more widely understood now by people out in the field doing this work.Sarah: Yeah, interesting — because my oldest son, who's now 24, definitely experienced a lot of relational aggression in elementary school. And my daughter did too.And just as a side note — it's so painful to watch your kids go through that. I want to ask you more about parents' roles, but it's so painful as a parent to watch your child have their friends be mean to them.You mentioned it can start as young as two or three, and I remember reading in your book — that sort of “you can't come to my birthday party” thing. Even little kids will say that to their parents sometimes, right? Using that relational aggression.You said that if we don't actively get involved, it can turn into older-kid relational aggression that never goes away. What do you suggest parents do or say when they hear this kind of thing — whether it's to other kids on the playground, to a sibling, or even to the parents themselves?Rachel: Yeah, with little kids — we're talking about little, little ones — I often answer that question with a question back to the parent: What do you do when your kid hits or bites somebody?Usually what most of us do is stop the behavior, make sure the other kid's okay, and then turn to our own child and say, “You can't do that. We don't do that in our family. That's not what we say, that's not what we do. You have to use your words.”And we say, “We don't ever threaten people when we're angry.” It's okay to be mad — that's really key — but it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Certain ways of speaking are off-limits, just like certain words are off-limits.It's also key, though, to practice self-awareness as a parent. Because if you're the kind of person who goes quiet when you're upset, or withdraws as a way of expressing yourself, that's probably where your kid's picking it up. They're not unaware of that.It's kind of like when parents tell teens, “Hey, get off your phone,” and the teen says, “You're on your phone all the time.” Modeling is key.Sarah: That makes a lot of sense — treating relational aggression like any other form of aggression, giving alternatives, correcting the behavior.Rachel: Exactly — and helping them cultivate empathy. Ask, “How do you think that other person felt when you said that? How do you think it feels when someone says they won't be your friend anymore?”You don't want to lose friends just because you made a mistake.Unfortunately, so many people believe this is just “kids being kids.” When you hear that phrase, it's almost a way of disqualifying or invalidating the behavior as aggression. We have to be really careful not to trivialize it or write it off. That's the gateway to not taking it seriously and not holding kids accountable.Sarah: One of the things you talk about in your book — which I thought was really great food for thought — is how this often happens with girls because girls are socialized not to express their anger and to be “nice” and “good.” So it goes underground and comes out in these covert, or even not-so-covert, forms of relational aggression.What can we do as parents to change this? Any concrete ways to help girls express themselves or communicate more effectively so that this doesn't happen?Rachel: That's a really good question. I think one approach I value — both as a parent and in my work — is taking a more integrated approach to parenting, not just saying something in the moment.If we want kids — and we don't even have to say “girls,” just kids — to be more emotionally expressive and authentic so they don't resort to indirect or harmful behaviors, then they need to be raised with certain principles.Those principles have to be voiced, reinforced, and practiced throughout daily life — not just in response to an acute moment of aggression.Some of those principles are: It's not what you say, it's how you say it. All feelings are welcome, but not all behaviors are. You have the right to be treated with respect and dignity by your friends, and you owe that to them as well.And not even just your friends — everyone. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but you do have to treat everyone with respect.That's key for girls, in particular, because they're often expected to be friends with everyone, which makes them feel resentful. So another principle is: You don't have to be friends with everyone. You can be acquaintances and still treat people respectfully.You're striking a balance between supporting expression — it's good to say how you feel — and being thoughtful about how you do it.It's also a practice. Sometimes we'll make mistakes or feel awkward expressing ourselves, but that's far better than going behind someone's back or ignoring them forever.Sarah: Right. I'm reminded of a line we often use in peaceful parenting when one sibling is being “mean” to another verbally. We'll say, “You can tell your sibling how you feel without attacking them,” or, “You can tell your sibling how you feel without using unkind words.”That's really what you're saying — it's not what you say, it's how you say it.So as I was reading your book, I realized that many of the things we teach in peaceful parenting already help kids express themselves in healthy ways — and also not put up with being treated poorly.If you learn at home that you don't have power or agency because your parents don't treat you with respect, then you're more susceptible to peers treating you poorly.Rachel: Yeah, I think so. Parents teach us what to expect from other people. They also teach us how to respond in difficult moments.If they normalize difficult moments and your day-to-day life includes not feeling valued or safe, you'll import that into your relationships with others.It can be more subtle too — if you don't feel unconditionally valued, or if you have to fight for your parents' attention, or you don't feel consistent attachment, you might become vulnerable to pursuing peers who recreate that familiar but painful dynamic.If your “happy place” becomes constantly trying to get the popular girl to win you over, that might mirror how you once tried to win your parents' attention.Sarah: If your child is the victim of relational aggression — what should you do? Both in terms of how to support your child and whether there's anything you should do with other parents or the school?Rachel: Great questions. First, how to support your child when they go through something like this — and you're absolutely right, it can be really triggering for us as parents.Empathy really matters. And I know some people are like, “Yeah, duh, empathy.” But in my work — and in my life as a parent — I've found that we're wired to help and fix, not to empathize. That's how humans have survived — by fixing and protecting, not empathizing.So our instinct when we see our child in distress is to jump in and try to fix it.Sarah: It's called the “righting instinct,” I think.Rachel: The righting instinct — oh! Like to put them upright again?Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Oh, that's helpful — I didn't know that! Yes, the righting instinct.So we have to override that and remember that what a child really needs is to know that what they're going through is normal — even if it's incredibly hard — and that their feelings are normal. They need to know they're not alone.Say things like, “You must feel really hurt,” or “That sounds so hard.”Now, some kids will say, “No, I'm fine.” Not every kid will respond with, “Thanks for empathizing, Mom.” But you can still name the feeling — “If I were you, I'd feel the same way,” or, “That's really hard.”The feelings are scary, and kids want to know it's okay to feel how they feel — that they're not alone, and that it's normal.After that, try to override the fixing instinct as much as you can. Because unless your child is in acute distress, these are opportunities for them to develop problem-solving skills.They will experience social aggression — that's inevitable. If they don't, they're probably not connected to other people. So it's not a question of if, it's when.These moments are opportunities for you to be with them and support them — but not to do it for them.Ask, “Okay, this is going on — tell me one way you could respond. What's something you could do?”What we're doing by asking that is not jumping in with, “Here's what I'd do,” which doesn't teach them anything. We're giving them a chance to think.A lot of kids will say, “I don't know,” or get annoyed — that's fine. You can say, “Okay, what's one thing you could do?”If they say, “Nothing,” you can say, “Nothing is a choice. That's a strategy. What do you think will happen if you do nothing?”We live in a culture that's consistently deprived kids of opportunities to become resilient — deprived them of discomfort, and that's cost them problem-solving ability.I'm not saying kids should handle social aggression alone, but these moments are a chance to hold them and be with them — without doing it for them.So those are kind of the first two steps.Sarah: Well, I mean, I think empathize and empath—one thing that I read in your book is that sometimes parents dismiss that it's really happening, or because of their own fears of their child. Wanting their child to fit in, they might try to encourage them to stay in the relationship or to try to fix the relationship. Maybe you could speak to that a little bit.Rachel: Sure. Well, I think these kinds of moments can be incredibly disorienting for parents and triggering. And I use the word disorienting because we start to lose—we stop losing—the ability to differentiate between our feelings and experiences and our kids'.So, for example, if we have a lot of emotion and a lack of resolution around what happened to us, when our kids go through it, all those feelings come right back up. And then we may start to assume that our kids are actually suffering more than they are.Like, I'll give you an example of a kid I met and her parent. The kid had been not treated well in middle school and she said, “I just want to sit at a different table.” And her mom was like, “But this is terrible! This is a terrible thing. We have to do something about it.” And her kid was like, “I just want to sit at a different table.”So remaining aware of any delta between how your child is reacting and how you are is very key. And if you sense that difference, then you really need to conform to where your kid is and not insert or enforce your own emotions on them.I also think it runs the other direction. To your point, Sarah, if you yourself fear—if you remember being really afraid of what happened when you felt alone—and you start to imagine that if your child were to make a move that would put them in more isolation, that would be bad for them because it was bad for you. Again, that's a flag.Anytime you find that you're sort of flooding your parenting with the memories or the experiences that you had long before you were a parent—if you have the ability to differentiate—that's really where you learn how to do it differently. But becoming aware of that is most important.Sarah: That makes a lot of sense. And then I love how you're talking about inviting problem-solving—you know, “What do you want to do?” Because often we come in with this, “Well, this is what you do. You march back in there on Monday and you say this.”But as you said, that doesn't allow them to develop any skills.And, you know, where's the spot—where's the space—for encouraging? Because I know that my daughter, I went through this with her, with some mean girls in our community and at her school. And I just wanted to say, “Just make friends with different kids! Why do you keep trying to be friends with these same kids that are not being nice to you?”Like, where's the space for that? And what do you do?And that actually is a question that one of our members sent in: what should we do, if anything, if our child still wants to be friends with the kids that haven't been kind to them or who have been relationally aggressive?Rachel: Yeah, it's such a great question, and it's one that many, many parents hold. Because it is certainly a phenomenon where, you know, you keep going back to the person who has hurt you.And girls can be very inconsistent or all over the place—like, one day we're really good friends, the next day you don't want to sit with me at lunch, three days later you invite me to your house for a sleepover, right? You kick me out, you take me back in.There comes a point in a kid's life where they're old enough to make their own decisions. They're going to school, they're going to hang out with whoever they want. And I'm most interested in supporting the parents who actually can't control who their kid hangs out with.Because if it were as easy as just saying, “Well, you can't go over to their house anymore,” that would be fine. But it's not—because the kid's going to make their own social choices when they're out and about.So I think the answer is that relationships are a classroom. Relationships are a place where we learn all kinds of life skills—including how to say what we want, how to compromise, how to forgive, and how to end a relationship.I think that while it is incredibly frustrating and stressful for a parent to watch their child return to an aggressor, trying to remain as much of a guide as you can to your child, rather than bringing down the hammer, is key.So, in other words, one strategy I've suggested—which is not maybe for everyone—but it's kind of like: think about a friend you've had in your life as an adult who keeps going back to somebody who isn't good to them. Maybe you remember—they were in a relationship with a crappy person—and you're like, “What are you doing with that person? Why are you dating them?”And you probably weren't yelling at them or saying, “You better stop dating them or I'm not going to be your friend anymore.” You had to stick with them as they figured it out, and you knew they were learning and you hoped they would learn.There's a bit of that with your kid. Your kid is not your friend—your kid is much more triggering than your friend—but they're actually in a very similar learning experience to your friend who's dating somebody that everyone knows isn't right for them.And so as a parent, you want to stay connected and say, “Okay, so what's your takeaway from what just happened? What are you learning about this person—how they're treating you?” And you're going to say it a hundred times before maybe some neuron fires next week or next year, and they're like, “Oh, I get it.”Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Like, they need to keep hearing from you. They need to keep hearing that this isn't a good person—that this person's not good to you, that this person doesn't have the values our friends have.Sarah: That happened with my daughter—with a best friend from birth, too. I think it was around age eight when things started shifting, and the girl started being pretty mean to my daughter.And it took her four years until she finally made the decision on her own. One thing happened, and it finally cracked it open for her, and she just said, “I don't think [name] and I are best friends anymore.”She cried for about three hours, and she went through maybe a month or two of grieving that friendship. But that was kind of like—it had been the straw that broke the camel's back, where she finally saw everything in the true light. You know what I mean?But it was so hard for those four years to watch her keep going back and trying and giving her the benefit of the doubt. Anyhow, it was rough.Rachel: It was rough. And what do you think she learned from that?Sarah: Well, I think she learned to look other places for friends. And I think she learned how she wanted to be treated.So we've talked about how to support your child who's going through this. Is there anything you recommend doing with the other child's parents or with the school to support your child?Rachel: Yeah. I mean, I think it depends on their age, right?Sarah: Let's say tweens.Rachel: Okay. I think it depends. So first, with the other parents—it's important to remember that if you call another kid's parents without clearing it with your own kid first, you just never know what those other parents are going to disclose to their own child.If you don't know these parents well, you have no idea whether they'd go to their kid and say, “Guess who called me today?” So, as much as possible, have some communication with your own child about reaching out to another parent, especially if you don't know that parent or have a prior relationship.I understand the intention is to help, but when you call another parent, you can't control what that parent does with your words—or how that affects your own child. So you have to be very careful.Now, does that mean you always have to have your child's permission to reach out? No, it doesn't. There are times where you'll just do that because that's your job. I just want people to be aware of that.Also, when you call another parent, it's critical to start the conversation with: “I know I only have one perspective here. I know I can only see what I can see. Can you tell me if there are things I'm not seeing? I'd love to know what's going on from your perspective.”In other words, you're not going in heavy-handed or accusatory—you're going in with humility. It's okay to say you're upset and to talk about what you know, but it's critical to maintain the humility of realizing you don't know everything.And that children—just like everyone else—can have their own distortions or lenses through which they experience their peers.Finally, when you talk to another parent, be very precise in your language when you describe what happened. Stick to the behaviors that allegedly occurred.Like, you can say, “My understanding is that your kid called my kid with some kids over while they were having a sleepover, and it left my daughter feeling pretty embarrassed and hurt. Can you tell me more about what you know?”So you're not saying, “Your kid did this and really messed up my kid.” You're saying, “Here's my understanding of what happened, and here was the impact.” Those are two things you can control knowing—without accusing.Sarah: Yeah, that makes sense. I made all the mistakes with my friend's daughter's mother, so yeah, I think your advice is good.And I wish I had had it then. It's so hard not to rush in as a parent, especially when kids are younger. It's so hard not to rush in and try to—like you said—right things, to try to fix it and make things better.There's just a comment from Mare—when we were talking about kids going back to people who are unkind—she said that her grandson, who I know is nine, told her that he's “an easy mark.” And when she asked why he felt that way, he said his friend punched him in the stomach and he just accepted that and continues to be friends with him.Do you have any words for her around that—how she might support her grandson?Rachel: Yeah. I mean, first of all, I like that he's comfortable talking to his grandmother in that way—how wonderful for her that he's so vulnerable and authentic. So I would, as the grandma, be very cautious and handle delicately the vulnerability your grandson's giving you.And I would be very inquisitive. I'd put on my coach's hat and say, “Tell me more about that. Tell me more about what happens and why. Tell me more about your decision to accept it. What do you think would happen if you didn't accept it?”I've learned a lot in the later part of my career about the importance of just holding space for people to talk something through. You don't have to give advice. You don't have to have an idea. You can just ask questions and let them talk it through.Talking aloud to someone who cares and listens closely is not that different from journaling. Both can help you arrive at new insights that you couldn't otherwise on your own—but don't require someone telling you what to do.So I think that kind of stance, if you can take it with your grandson, would be very effective—and you'd probably learn a ton.Sarah: Thanks. That's great. So the final part of that three-part question that we keep getting back to is—what about with the school?One thing that I thought was interesting in your book is you talked about how a lot of the kids that are doing the relational aggression have a lot of social status, and that it often flies under the radar—that the teachers don't see what's going on.I think that would make it especially tricky to try to get support from the school if they're not seeing what your child is reporting back to you.Rachel: Yes, it does make it tricky. And you know, psychological aggression is just that—it's psychological. So unless you're listening, you'd miss it.It's also the case that—like Eddie Haskell in Leave It to Beaver—when the adult shows up, a lot of the most aggressive kids turn into very likable, charming, dynamic kids. They know how to work the adults in the room.This is why even the most devoted, skilled teachers who really want to catch this stuff still say to me, “Why don't I see it? I'm trying so hard.”That does make it hard. And I say that because it makes it particularly hard for a school to respond if they're like, “We don't see it.”So, when you talk to the school, it's important to keep that in mind—that this stuff might not be visible.It's also important to practice that same humility, because often the school does see things you don't. They may have awareness of the different sides of the story.Schools are filled with human beings who are tired, and if they get a two-page single-spaced email from a parent at 11:30 at night with a call the next morning saying, “Why haven't you responded?”—they're not super psyched to work with you.Treating people like they're customer-service reps who are there to serve you—especially if you pay tuition—I understand why that happens, but you're going to catch a lot more flies with honey.Sarah: Than with vinegar.Rachel: Yeah, I couldn't remember what the insect was—but I think you catch more flies with honey.It's hard. It's heavy. It's a tall ask, because you're hurting as a parent—you're frustrated, you're angry, you're worried about your kid. But it's a really complex situation.A couple other ways to approach this: figure out if your school has an anti-bullying or behavior policy that acknowledges these more indirect forms of aggression.Also, I'd caution parents against using the word bullying unless it actually meets that definition. That's a big turn-off for school administrators and teachers when parents elevate something to bullying that isn't.Bullying is more of a protracted campaign of one person against another, typically with a big power dynamic. Most of what kids experience are acts of aggression, but not ongoing campaigns.So being careful about the words you use is important too.And then, see what training teachers have—what professional development they've been given around what to look out for, how to manage their classrooms.There was a long period in my life where all I did was professional development sessions for schools. We talked about, “Have you talked to your students about body language? About the power of rolling your eyes when someone speaks up, or laughing, or staring?”Those are silent behaviors, but they send strong messages. Many teachers don't have those conversations with students—and that's the kind of thing that makes a difference in communicating expectations.Sarah: Someone on the call just asked a question related to that. She's curious what you have to say about shame being used by girls as a form of aggression—especially middle schoolers.Rachel: That's interesting—when you say shame, meaning like trying to shame the target for something they've done?Sarah: Yeah, she says yes. Like rolling your eyes at somebody when they do something—that would make someone feel a sense of shame. She also said her daughter was shamed for talking to boys.Rachel: Yeah. So I think there's quite a bit of shame that both boys and girls experience.So—sorry, I'm reading the comments too—your daughter was shamed for talking to boys who came to their lunch table, and was asked to sit at a different lunch table?Yeah, I wonder if that's about shaming for breaking an unwritten code—“We don't talk to boys.” Which can also be rooted in cultural expectations around girls—like, “You're such a slut if you talk to boys,” or “We don't.”And so there's a way in which girls can police each other and shame each other by channeling messages from the culture that they've learned.What I have to say about that is that girls do become agents of the culture—and of patriarchal culture—that says, “You're not supposed to talk to boys because that means you must be sexual with them,” or, “We just don't like those people, so we're going to punish you.”Boys will do it to each other too—when they're vulnerable or show feelings.So, to support a girl who's going through that: if we think about the definition of shame, it's to feel like you are a bad person—that your core identity is defective.The difference between shame and guilt is that shame is about you, and guilt is about the thing you did.We're all vulnerable to shame, but I think tween girls are particularly so because they're both able to understand what adults are saying and still in a very self-focused moment in development. That's a pretty toxic brew.It means you can easily take on shame without fully understanding what's being said to you.So I think just really taking a moment to say, “You are a good human being. You are valued. You are loved. You're not alone.”You may not think a moment like this requires those words, but if your child is feeling ashamed because of those behaviors, it's important to remind them they're just like everyone else—in the best way—and that even if they've been othered or singled out, they're still part of a loved whole, whether that's family or friends.Sarah: Yeah, when you were saying that, I was reminded of something I did with my daughter that I talk about a lot—making sure our children, even if they're having social troubles or not feeling like they have friends or the friends they want—making sure they feel unconditionally loved and appreciated and delighted in and celebrated at home can be very protective, I think.And I've heard adults talk about that—who were bullied—and say, “The only reason I came through it with my self-esteem intact was that my parents made me believe this wasn't happening because there was something wrong with me.” They made me feel loved and celebrated and appreciated at home.So I think that's something for all of us to keep sight of too—if our kids are having friendship troubles—to do the work at home to help them.Rachel: Yes. A thousand percent. That has nothing to do with their friends.Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Yes.Sarah: Okay, two more questions before we let you go. A question from a member who couldn't be on the call: any advice for making future friends once they've gone through a mean relationship?So this person's child is on the other side of a difficult elementary school relationship, starting middle school at a new school, and is finding it hard—maybe she's a little hesitant about making new friends after what she's gone through. Any advice about that?Rachel: I think you validate it. You validate the hesitation.And you also say, “Hey—do you notice how many people date and break up and then start dating new people? Or get divorced and marry new people? Friendships are the same thing.”We're not meant to have one best friend forever—that's a myth. People lose friends and also cut loose people that aren't right for them.Maybe your daughter's been through that—but remind her we're constantly regenerating new connections.It's okay to feel a little gun-shy or apprehensive. Ask, “What would make you feel more comfortable making new friends so you don't feel like you're exposing yourself too much?”Again, always staying curious, inquisitive—not assuming you know what's right because you're the parent—but asking, “What would need to be true for you to feel comfortable making this new friendship?”Maybe she's not comfortable socializing one-on-one outside of school for a long time and wants to keep it to school. That's okay.So being flexible and kind of flexing to where your child is, while also holding the line about the importance of continuing to connect—that's important.Sarah: Love that. My final question to you is one I ask all my podcast guests—and you can answer this in any context, not just what we were talking about today—but if you had a time machine and could go back to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Rachel: Oh my God, so much. Don't let your kid have YouTube as early as you did. That would be the first one.I guess I'd say that feeling out of control is normal—and you've got to learn to breathe through that more. Yelling isn't going to give you anything but a false sense of control, and it's just going to upset your kid.That's the truth of it. I think I would've yelled less if I'd been more comfortable with the discomfort—feeling like things were out of control and I couldn't manage or have the solution for something.Sarah: Love that. Thank you so much for joining us. Where's the best place for folks to find out more about you and what you do?Rachel: Find me at rachelsimmons.com.Sarah: All right. Thank you so much, Rachel.Rachel: Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Great questions. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe
“What we're trying to do is build a forged family for people that have been despised, outcast, lost and forgotten, and pushed to the furthest fringes of society.”—Alan GrahamBefore you truly see an issue, you only know part of the story. But once you develop empathy for the people it affects, you can't unsee its importance.That's what happened for Alan Graham, who has now dedicated nearly three decades of his life to supporting his houseless neighbors in Austin, TX.Alan is the Founder & CEO of Mobile Loaves and Fishes, a Christian nonprofit that has been empowering their community into a lifestyle of service since 1998. In that time, they've served over 6.5 million meals and helped more than 470 neighbors move from the streets into permanent homes.In this episode, Alan shares:His personal journey of faith that led him to start Mobile Loaves and FishesWhy we should have compassion for those who find themselves without supportThe value in heart-to-heart solutionsAnd why nonprofits should stick with new initiatives longer than we often doFor Alan, the purpose of his life and the work he's dedicated to is quite simple: To love God and love his neighbor. This conversation will bring you right back to the roots of your own work, reminding you of the simple truths that truly fuel your vision. Listen in!Find links to resources mentioned and key takeaways in the show notes for this episode: www.futurenonprofit.com/alan-graham
Show Notes In this special 100th episode of Edgy Ideas, we mark a moment of reflection and celebration. Simon is joined by a panel of thoughtful voices; Chris Yates, Leslie Brissett, Eleanor Moore and Hetty Einzig, to explore a topic close to the heart, the soul at work and what it means to live a good life amidst the turbulence of our times. They reflect on the quiet yet powerful force of soul, not as something otherworldly, but that which connects us more deeply to ourselves, to each other, and to the work we do. The panel discusses: how do we re-enchant the workplace? How do we speak about 'soul' without falling into cliche or sentimentality? And how do we cultivate a spirituality that is lived, relational, and grounded in everyday acts? Their conversation weaves personal stories with collective insights, inviting you into a space where the sacred and the secular meet. Enjoy this rich and resonant conversation as we mark a century of episodes, and step forward soulfully into what comes next. Key Reflections Edgy Ideas has evolved to meet the moment - seeking pathways to live well in disruptive times. Soul at work is not a luxury, but a necessity - a call to engage the whole person: mind, body, and essence. Everyday spirituality matters. It's found not in lofty ideas, but in presence, care, and connection. Work can uplift or diminish the soul - context and culture matter. Relational dynamics are the hidden architecture of soulful work. Activism and soul are not opposites - activism can be a soulful practice. Grace appears in the ordinary fleeting moments that illuminate meaning. Sacred spaces can be created anywhere we choose to be present. Soul embraces the paradox - the light and the dark, joy and struggle, both shaping who we are. To witness another with kindness is perhaps the most radical act of all. Keywords Soul, Spirituality, Connection, Presence, Grace, Wholeness, Meaning, Authenticity, Relationships, Transformation, Soul at Work, Everyday Spirituality
Sometimes you share something about the brain—like how all behavior makes sense—and people push back hard. Maybe they dismiss it. Maybe they even get mad. It can feel confusing, because once you see the truth of relational neuroscience, it feels like such a relief. So why are some folks so resistant?In this episode, you'll learn:Why resistance is often the nervous system's way of protecting from grief, shame, or instabilityHow relational neuroscience challenges not just parenting practices but entire worldviewsWays to respond—with compassion for others and yourself—when resistance shows upResources mentioned in this podcast:Parenting When Your Partner Is Not On Board {EP 146} Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/resistApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
As ministry leaders, we often imagine that building trust is the ultimate goal—once we have it, the road to transformation should be clear. But what happens when trust alone isn't enough? The truth is, trust is only the starting point. Moving beyond it requires us to invest our trust in ways that actually make change possible, even when it means taking risks and facing loss together.In this episode, Tod Bolsinger, author of Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, shares why trust is essential but insufficient for transformative leadership, how we can begin to discern our congregation's unique calling, and what it takes to wisely invest trust as we guide people through the challenges of adaptive change.THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:Tod Bolsinger asserts that there is no transformation without trust.Leadership requires energizing a community toward its own transformation for the sake of a shared mission.People will not trust a leader to guide them through difficult change if they don't trust them with current, familiar responsibilities.Leaders build trust through both trustworthy character and technical competence.Relational congruence means consistently showing up as the same person in all relationships, reinforcing trust.Even leaders of good character need to be experienced by others as trustworthy in daily interactions.Technical competence in areas such as scripture, soul care, and organizational skills is non-negotiable for pastoral leaders.Trust is the bank account that leaders must invest (and spend) when leading adaptive or transformational change.When transformation is pursued, trust levels may decrease as change creates uncertainty and resistance.Tod Bolsinger notes that maintaining trust means not squandering it on trivial matters, but instead strategically investing it in real transformation.The process of transformation begins with clarifying a congregation's unique charism—its distinctive gift to the broader community.Charism emerges from actual values and stories, not from aspirational wish lists or debates about what a church “should” be.Discerning a congregation's charism requires telling stories about the times they were most proud of the church.Identifying a congregation's charism is followed by asking how it can address the pain points of the community, thus connecting internal giftedness with external needs.Transformation always involves loss, and truly adaptive change means some may leave, but new vibrancy and alignment with mission can develop as a result.RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:Church Leadership InstituteBooks mentioned:Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, by Tod BolsingerRelated episodes:230. The Power of an 8-word Mission Statement, with Tod Bolsinger264. Building a Future-Focused Church, with Kara Powell, Jake Mulder, and Raymond Chang272. Beyond Church Revitalization, with Josh HaydenSend me a text! I'd love to know what you're thinking!Get Becoming Leaders of Shalom for free HERE.Click HERE to get my FREE online course, BECOMING LEADERS OF SHALOM.
Alan Barnhart grew up in Memphis, where his parents ran a small crane and rigging company. After college he sensed a call to missions just as his parents invited him and his brother to take over the family business. As he wrestled with the decision, God's answer was clear; Alan's full-time ministry was the business world. From day one, the brothers regarded the company as God's. To guard against the spiritual risks of wealth, Alan set a “lifestyle finish line,” capping his personal income at the level of a ministry worker. They also committed to give 50% of annual profits to God's Kingdom. Over the next 39 years, the once-small firm grew toward a billion-dollar enterprise and now channels millions each year into gospel work. Later, Alan and his brother formalized their conviction by transferring 100% of their ownership to a charitable trust, while continuing to lead the company. Alan's example has inspired a generation of givers to steward their families, businesses, and resources with wisdom and courage. You won't want to miss this story. Major Topics Include: Avoiding the dangers of wealth Finding freedom in a financial finish line How God led him to give away his company while still being it's steward Thinking though what to do with profit Developing relationship with the recipients of your generosity Generosity decisions as a group Responsive giving vs. strategic giving Differences between giving from business capital and giving from personal capital Making difficult decisions in generosity Relational aspects of being as a business and generosity leader Managing a capped lifestyle with children Thinking through company succession Stewarding your generosity story QUOTES TO REMEMBER “God, I'll go wherever you want me to go.” “My full time ministry was going to be in the business world.” “Jesus warned about money more than He warned about anything else.” “Contentment doesn't come from stuff, it comes from enjoying what you already have.” “Holding things with an open hand has led to freedom.” “God isn't trying to extract something from us. He doesn't want our money, He wants us.” “Generosity breaks the power of greed.” “We say no to 99% of giving opportunities so we can give a big yes to the 1% we support.” “We want to be as strategic in our giving of money as we are in our making of money.” “What does God want us to do with His money?” “There is work to being a steward.” “What we're doing is not crazy.” “We didn't see the company as ours, so our kids never saw it as theirs.” “Be a steward of your story as much as you are a steward of your money, because your story may change someone else's life.” LINKS FROM THE SHOW Young Life Journey to Generosity (JoG) with Generous Giving (see our interviews with cofounder, Todd Harper and CEO, April Chapman) Rich Christians in the Age of Hunger by Ronald J. Sider National Christian Foundation (see our interview with President Emeritus, David Wills) The Finish Line Community Facebook Group The Finish Line Community LinkedIn Group BIBLE REFERENCES FROM THE SHOW Matthew 19:23 | A Warning for the Rich And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 6:24 | Choose Your Master “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. Matthew 6:19-20 | Treasures in Heaven “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust[e] destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. Luke 12:13-21 | The Parable of the Rich Fool 1 Timothy 6:6-7 | Godliness with Contentment But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. Luke 21:1-4 | The Widow's Offering Matthew 5:16 | Your Good Works Give Glory to the Father In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 6:3-4 | A Time for Giving in Secret But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! If you have a thought about something you heard, or a story to share, please reach out! You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn. You can also contact us directly from our contact page. If you want to engage with the Finish Line Community, check out our groups on Facebookand LinkedIn.
Nathan Raynor
By Philip Aust - In this message, let's identify four relational Truths God offers in His Word that most don't know or they've chosen to discard in the name of progress.
Today, we hear from Discovery Institute Senior Fellow, podcaster, and writer Andrew McDiarmid as he chats with In The Market radio host Janet Parshall about the dangers associated with humans having relationships with AI. The discussion focuses on what McDiarmid calls “relational AI” – AI chatbots and assistants that aim to mimic human interactions and relationships. McDiarmid discusses how relational AI can Read More › Source
Send us a textAre your conversations in networking events and client meetings leading straight to dead ends? This week on "The Selling Podcast," Mike and Scott tackle a critical skill that separates master networkers from awkward noodlers: the difference between "Nothing" and "Great" conversation starters.Mike and Scott break down the safe, lazy phrases that kill rapport (yes, we're looking at you, "How's the weather?" and "Busy day?"). They reveal why these are just statements about facts that give your prospect nothing to build on, wasting valuable time.Then, they pivot to the powerful framework of Great Conversation Starters. Learn to swap boring small talk for open-ended questions that spark genuine connection, interest, and depth, such as:Personal & Relational: "What's keeping you excited lately?"Situational: "How did you get into what you do?"Deeper & Engaging: "What's a project or goal you're working on right now?"The golden rule is simple: Nothing starters are statements; Great starters are questions about stories, emotions, or choices. Tune in to get the exact cheat sheet for transforming your introductions into meaningful dialogue that builds trust and ultimately drives your sales pipeline.Support the showScott SchlofmanMike Williams - Cell 801-635-7773 #sales #podcast #customerfirst #relationships #success #pipeline #funnel #sales success #selling #salescoach
After infidelity, “safety” becomes the word we chase; - Emotional safety - Relational safety - Internal safety But what does that actually mean? And how do you build it when trust has been broken? In this episode, Luke explores the delicate balance between finding safety within yourself and rebuilding safety with your partner. Because healing isn't about becoming immune to pain or pretending you don't need anyone, it's about knowing how to meet yourself when the pain comes, and recognising who's capable of meeting you there too. In this episode, we'll explore: What “inner safety” really means (and what it doesn't) Why self-trust and relational trust are two sides of the same bridge How to stop gaslighting yourself into accepting unsafe behaviour The difference between chaos and connection Why craving reassurance isn't weakness, it's wiring If you've ever wondered whether it's possible to feel safe again, both within yourself and in a relationship that's been shaken by betrayal, this episode is for you. Connect with Luke: Website: www.lifecoachluke.com Instagram: @mylifecoachluke Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity
Shame is one of the most powerful forces in relationships and one of the least recognized. It hides behind defensiveness, blame, denial, and emotional shutdowns. It keeps us from hearing each other, owning our impact, and creating real repair. But what if we could build shame resilience and become great at relationships? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the ways shame shaped their marriage—and what finally helped them break the cycle. They unpack why most people confuse shame with guilt, how shame can masquerade as moral failure, and why separating identity from behavior is essential for connection. From psychoeducation to spiritual perspective, they share what helped them heal. Whether you collapse when someone's upset with you, or go on the offense to avoid feeling wrong, this conversation will help you clarify what's happening and build the courage to show up with more ownership and compassion. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4
SummaryPart two of Clark's practical “Lessons Learned” series—from an old slide deck that still packs a punch. We cover why mission must lead your conversations, how to cultivate until the “yes” is likely, the art of listening (and how to measure it), why the case must be bigger than your organization, and the simple discipline of getting in the living room, not just the inbox.What You'll LearnLead with mission, not programs: Define the problem you exist to solve; then show how your programs are the vehicle.Money isn't the problem: Relational deficit > budget deficit. Build the relationship that makes the gift obvious.Change lives, not line items: Donors give to impact. Your job is to articulate how lives change uniquely through you.Listen like a pro: Aim to speak far less than you listen; measure it after each meeting to improve.Don't be flippant with the ask: Cultivate and ask—don't “just ask.” Ask when a “yes” is likely.Emotion moves big gifts: Logic opens the door; emotion carries the gift over the threshold.Meet with both spouses: If both aren't in the room, your best arguments will go unanswered.Make the case bigger than your org: Community, nation, world—then your distinctive role.Treat giving as a habit to build: Start small with first-time or reluctant givers; grow over time.Recognition matters (even if it's “no recognition”): Always ask and align.Choose the living room over lunch: Fewer interruptions, clearer decisions.Prior donors predict future gifts: Steward yesterday's givers to cultivate tomorrow's.Never take insiders for granted: Keep building the drama for board and volunteers, too.Do your homework: Know their giving, interests, and context before you meet.You must ask: After real cultivation, make the clear, specific ask.Practical ToolsAdd this to every visit report: “% of time I talked vs. % donor talked.” What you measure improves.Pre-visit prep checklist: giving history, household context, mutual connections, LinkedIn scan, recent news.Quotable Moments“Listen. Listen intently. Listen even more intently.” — Jerry Panas“I never give because there's a need. I give because I'm interested and I believe I can make a real difference.” — as referenced in the episodeRelatedLessons Learned in Major Gifts Fundraising (Part 1)Links & ResourcesMajor Gifts Fundraiser services and trainings: majorgiftsfundraiser.comTry the Clarkbot (AI coaching, prompts, and role-play): majorgiftsfundraiser.comContactHave a question or want feedback on an upcoming ask? Email Clark at Clark@MajorGiftsFundraiser.com.
Visit http://trademark.church to learn more about Trademark and how you can get involved. LOVE ∙ SERVE ∙ LEAD
Dr Bruce Perry is back! Every time I chat with him, I end up walking away with my head spinning (in the best possible way). This time we’re unpacking why everyone feels so bloody fried right now... and well, how doom scrolling, violent content on our feeds, and the pressure to be 'resilient' 24/7 sure isn't helping. Bruce explains why our brains literally can’t function properly when we’re overloaded, and why the 'do hard shit' version of resilience is rubbish. Real resilience is built like strength training - small doses, spaced out, with recovery in between. We also get into dissociation and how it can save your life in trauma but also be a creative superpower... plus why so many of us are stuck in relational poverty even though we’re more 'connected' than ever. This chat will change the way you think about toughness, trauma, and how you look after yourself in a world that just won’t slow down. SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS Website: testartfamilylawyers.com.au TIFFANEE COOK Linktree: linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches/ Website: tiffcook.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tiffaneecook/ Facebook: facebook.com/rollwiththepunchespodcast/ Instagram: instagram.com/rollwiththepunches_podcast/ Instagram: instagram.com/tiffaneeandcoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Stateline Church exists to connect people to Jesus and one another.Fill out a Start Card: https://www.stateline.church/start-here/Learn more about what's happening at Stateline: https://www.stateline.church/events/Join a Stateline Group: https://www.stateline.church/groups/Join the team of volunteers: https://www.stateline.church/serve/Learn more about Stateline Students: https://www.stateline.church/students/Learn more about Stateline Kids: https://www.stateline.church/kids/
In this episode, Dr. Oord engages the new book from pediatrician and Open and Relational theologian Dr. Chris Hanson.Dr. Hanson's book, entitled Open and Relational Parenting: Loving Parents Reflecting a Loving God, bridges child development research with open and relational theology to present a transformative model for modern parenting which rejects authoritarian parenting styles often rooted in classical theism, in favor of a vision of parenting that mirrors a loving, responsive, co-creative God.
Daniah Greenberg: The Bible Was Missing for 1,000 Years, & It's Relational Foundation | The Basement
October is about the 'how.'There's plenty of resources in the planetary alignments this month: Mars is at home in Scorpio, Jupiter is exalted in Cancer, and Venus will enter her home in Libra halfway through the month.The question isn't about whether we have enough resources. The question is how we navigate our relationship with the resources we're given.How we walk the path is the path itself.We dive into: Foundations for creating true impact without losing your soul.Maintaining integrity as a pathway to receiving Divine assistance.Creating new, updated contracts with ourselves and others – not out of fantasy or rigid expectations, but out of clear, grounded sight.The deeper lessons behind ideological disagreements.I also pulled Hexagram 10 and 59 from the I Ching. I use Brian Browne Walker's translation of the I Ching. If you've enjoyed and benefited from the podcast, I invite you to apply for private mentorship and coaching with me. This is an intensive container, designed to support you in refining your self-leadership skills, moving through important life thresholds with grace, and expanding your capacity for creative expansions.Try the incredible breathwork and meditation app Open for 30 days free using this special link. This podcast is hosted, produced, and edited by Jonathan Koe. Theme music is also composed by me! Connect with me through my newsletter, my Instagram @jonathankoeofficial, and my music. For podcast-related inquiries, email me at healingthespiritpodcast@gmail.com.
What does it look like to connect everyday interactions to broader social dynamics? To use our knowledge of interpersonal communication to create the kinds of organizations, communities, and systems we want to make?...Today, Abbie and Kate talk about a relational approach to disorganizing systemic violence in organizations, exploring themes from Kate's new book Transforming Trauma to discuss different ways of knowing (and not knowing) in our bodies, minds, and relationships; flexibility and agility in organizations when responding to trauma; and recognizing discourses that create fearful or curious responses to uncertainty. ...Kate Lockwood Harris, PhD, is an internationally recognized communication scholar, writer, and consultant. Her award-winning research focuses on the relationship between violence and communication. In her most recent book, Transforming Trauma: A Relational Approach to Disorganizing Systemic Violence, Dr. Harris shows how trauma gets stuck in an organization's practices and policies—not just in its people. Moreover, she offers guidance for addressing this organized trauma. In addition to this work, Dr. Harris has published more than 30 peer-reviewed journal articles and chapters in edited collections, and she regularly speaks to audiences in the United States and across the globe. Most recently, Dr. Harris has been authoring the monthly public essay series, CommuniKate with Kate Lockwood Harris. Each essay shows how shifts in everyday interactions can create not only thriving relationships and organizations but also a more just world. Dr. Harris offers individual coaching for people who want to grow their personal and professional communication skills, and she consults with organizations to build climates where violence is rare and where people flourish. Kate Lockwood Harris is Associate Professor of Communication Studies and a McKnight Presidential Fellow. She uses critical, feminist, and intersectional perspectives to answer the question, “How are violence and communication related?” Dr. Harris assumes that violence is a symptom of inequity, so she pays close attention to gender, race, and related systems of difference. Her research on organizational responses to sexual assault has been widely published in management, communication, cultural studies, and feminist outlets.Her first book, Beyond the Rapist: Title IX and Sexual Violence on US Campuses (Oxford University Press), was recognized with the 2020 Book Award from the European Group for Organizational Studies....Stories Lived. Stories Told. is created, produced & hosted by Abbie VanMeter.Stories Lived. Stories Told. is an initiative of the CMM Institute for Personal and Social Evolution....Music for Stories Lived. Stories Told. is created by Rik Spann....Explore all things Stories Lived. Stories Told. here.Explore all things CMM Institute here.
Send us a textWe can't relive the past, but the past never really leaves us. In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend and co-host Tiffanee Cook to explore how our history continues to shape who we are, what we value, and how we show up today. We unpack why the environments, people, and strengths that fueled our success in the past are a mirror reflecting what matters most to us now, and how dissecting those elements can help us become the best version of ourselves.Together, we dig into why the most meaningful parts of our lives almost always involve relationships, not transactions, and why success in business and life requires more than strategy, it requires being in the right environment with the right people. We discuss relational vs. transactional business models, the role of community, and why people who genuinely care are good for business. After all, Gallup research shows that 70% of the variance in all business outcomes is directly related to the department manager. Translation: people matter, and leaders who foster connection create the conditions for growth.This is a conversation about memory, meaning, and the environments that allow us to thrive, because the past may be behind us, but it still has a lot to teach us about the future.Visit us at:www.theselfhelpantidote.com
What happens when the ones we long for love and safety from are also the ones who wound us? In this episode, author, podcaster, and nurse Blanche DiDomenico shares the first part of her story. As a Filipino-American, Blanche grew up with a father working overseas for most of her childhood, leaving her mother to wrestle with fears and unresolved struggles. That environment shaped an unsafe childhood—but it did not define Blanche's future. Through her story, we see both the pain of broken family dynamics and the surprising ways God's grace can prepare a life for His purpose. Join us as Blanche opens up with honesty, courage, and hope about navigating love, abuse, and the complicated longing to be seen by the very people who caused harm. Connect with Blanche: Website: https://blanchedidomenico.com/ Blanche's book: Rise with Purpose: A Biblical Workbook for Building Resilience, Growing in Faith, and Living Your God-given Calling To inquire about counseling, email Louise at Louise@louisesedgwick.com.
In this episode Dr. Oord engages with the work of Tracy Tucker and his new book, Can We Talk About Death?: An Open and Relational Vision.For chaplain and theologian Tracy Tucker, both the language of life and death reflects one's thoughts and convictions and his new book explores (un)healthy language and pathways for speaking about death and walking alongside those approaching the end of life.
To sign up for an Intro Call with LK10, go to: https://LK10.com/introJoin us as Sandy Malone from Parker, Colorado, shares her transformational journey from feeling unfulfilled in a traditional church setting to discovering a life-giving community through Luke 10. Sandy and her husband Rich ran a Christian camp every summer for nearly three decades, fostering deep connections with college students. However, they found regular church services seriously lacking in relational depth. As a result, Sandy said that every fall, the day they returned to church was the worst day of their year. Their encounter with Luke 10 revolutionized their approach to faith and community, offering a refreshing shift that aligned with their deepest longings. Sandy speaks about the paradigm shift, the impact of facilitator training, and the profound bonds formed within their newfound community. This is a story of finding true relational connection and spiritual fulfillment.00:00 Introduction to the Relational Revolution01:06 Meet Sandy Malone: A Journey of Longing04:20 Discovering Luke 1006:21 Embracing a New Way of Leading09:04 Conclusion and Reflections----------
We live in a culture obsessed with fairness. The word is heavy with scales, tallies, and invisible scoreboards. Did I do my part? Did they? Am I getting what I deserve? Is someone getting more than me? Fairness sounds righteous on the surface, but when you live inside it, fairness is a trap. It drives us inward, judging ourselves and everyone else against an impossible standard, measuring every crumb, every kindness, every silence.When fairness rules, love shrinks. We second-guess our own thoughts, scold ourselves for favoritism, and keep our generosity under lock and key so we won't “give too much.” Fairness whispers that compassion must be rationed, that care must be weighed like coins, that justice is about sameness instead of healing.But the ancient call of Spirit is not fairness. It is equity.Equity is not about everyone receiving the same thing. It is about giving each person what they need. When I stop worrying whether I've distributed care evenly across every relationship, and instead ask, “What does this one need from me right now?” something shifts. Relief floods in. My shoulders unclench. I no longer have to police every interaction or keep score of invisible debts. I am free to meet the human being in front of me.That is the heart of justice. Justice is not sameness. Justice is not balancing a ledger. Justice is seeing clearly and acting rightly. It is equity.The Trap of FairnessFairness has become one of the most cherished myths of our time, especially in societies built on meritocracy. We are told from childhood: if you work hard, if you follow the rules, if you wait your turn, things will be fair. But fairness is fragile. It crumbles the moment we see how wealth, health, opportunity, and power are not evenly spread. It fractures when we notice how privilege tilts the scales. And it collapses entirely when we realize that life itself is not fair: illness, disaster, and tragedy visit without rhyme or reason.When fairness fails, many double down. We chase punishments and rewards, lawsuits and policies, hoping someone, somewhere, will enforce the rules of fairness. But the more tightly we cling to fairness, the more bitter and exhausted we become. The constant comparison, who has more, who has less, who “deserves” what, keeps us in a state of judgment, always suspicious, always resentful.Fairness was never enough.The Relief of EquityEquity breaks the spell. Equity says: stop measuring. Stop comparing. Look at the person before you and ask, “What do they need?”Some need encouragement, others need listening, others need space. Some need bread for their table, others need a place to belong, others need protection from harm. Justice is not everyone receiving the same thing. Justice is everyone receiving what will allow them to live, to heal, to flourish.When we shift to equity, the anxiety of fairness dissolves. Instead of wondering, “Am I doing enough for everyone equally?” we ask, “Am I present, honest, and caring in this relationship?” It becomes practical. Relational. Human.That first step is where the practice begins: check your relationships. Are you being equitable with those around you? Not fair, but equitable. Does your friend who is grieving receive your tenderness, even if that means you cancel plans with someone else? Does your coworker who is struggling receive your help, even if it takes more of your time than another? Do you allow yourself to receive what you need, even if someone else doesn't understand?This is equity. It feels like a deep sigh, a release from the tyranny of fairness.From Personal to CommunalThe small shift in our relationships points toward a larger horizon. If justice is equity in the personal sphere, then justice is equity in the communal sphere as well.When we give only what is fair, society becomes rigid. Schools, hospitals, workplaces, and governments end up enforcing sameness, not care. But when we design systems with equity in mind, we look at who has been excluded, who has been harmed, who carries heavier burdens, and we act to rebalance.Equity notices that some need ramps, others need interpreters, others need affordable medicine, others need safety from violence. Equity doesn't ask who deserves it. Equity doesn't weigh worthiness. Equity simply acts to provide what is needed so that everyone can participate fully in life.To treat one person unjustly is to treat everyone unjustly. Because once we decide that someone can be excluded, neglected, or silenced in the name of fairness, we set a precedent that eventually comes for us all. Equity protects the whole by tending to the part.Scarcity and the Lie of DeservednessOne of the deepest obstacles to equity is the myth of scarcity. We are taught to believe there is not enough: enough food, enough time, enough money, enough love. And in a world of scarcity, equity sounds threatening. If they get what they need, will there be enough left for me?But scarcity is a lie. Our world already produces more food than we consume, more wealth than we distribute, more capacity for care than we unleash. Scarcity is an invention of empire, a tool to keep us grasping and competing instead of sharing and creating.Deservedness is scarcity's twin. We spend endless hours debating who deserves help, who deserves opportunity, who deserves compassion. But nobody deserves anything. Deserve is the wrong question. The right question is: what do they need?When we stop asking “Who deserves?” and start asking “What is needed?” the world changes. Compassion flows more freely. Communities grow stronger. Justice becomes possible.Living Into the PossibleThe call is not abstract. The call is practical. Begin with your relationships. Ask what equity looks like in your friendships, in your family, in your community. Practice it, even in small ways. Notice the relief it brings.Then lift your eyes. See the wider society. Ask: who around me is not receiving what they need to flourish? What can I do, in partnership with others, to change that? Sometimes the answer is mutual aid. Sometimes it is advocacy. Sometimes it is simply showing up and standing alongside the vulnerable.Justice is not waiting for laws to be rewritten or for leaders to act. Justice is practicing equity now, in our daily lives, in our choices, in our commitments.The dream is an equitable society. A world where no one is left behind, no one is cast aside, no one is told to earn their right to live. Every small act of equity is a seed of that world. The more seeds we plant, the more inevitable that world becomes.A Call to ActionSo here is the call: stop chasing fairness. Stop policing yourself with invisible scales. Stop rationing compassion. Let relief wash over you.Practice equity in your relationships. Ask what each person needs, and respond with love.Then widen your practice to your neighborhood, your community, your world. See where equity is missing, and act.Because justice is not a concept. Justice is a way of living. Justice is equity. Righteousness is right relationship. And the Spirit who made us longs for both.To treat one person unjustly is to treat everyone unjustly. But to treat one person equitably is to open the door for justice to grow everywhere.May we live as if an equitable world is already possible. And in our living, may we help bring it into being.Now find a quiet place. Sit comfortably. Close your eyes if you wish.Take a slow, steady breath in.Breathe in calm.Breathe out calm.Let your body settle. Let your spirit rest in the present moment.Now, softly speak these words aloud, letting each phrase open like a seed within you:May I treat myself with equity,giving myself what I need in this moment.May I treat my loved ones with equity,giving them what they need in this moment.May I treat my friends and community with equity,giving them what they need in this moment.May I treat my enemies with equity,giving them what they need in this moment.Rest again in silence. Feel how each phrase widens the circle of your care, from self, to loved ones, to community, to those who oppose you.Stay here as long as you need. Let the practice reshape your breath, your thoughts, your life.Thanks for reading! This post is public so feel free to share it.Thank you for Tips / Donations: * https://ko-fi.com/cedorsett * https://patreon.com/cedorsett * https://cash.app/$CreationsPaths* Substack: https://www.creationspaths.com/This essay grows out of the podcast episode **“Justice, Not Judgment: Equity and Right Relationship.”** It is not a transcript, but a written reflection that expands on the themes we explored in conversation. If you'd like to listen to the full discussion, you can find the episode above.New to The Seraphic Grove learn more For Educational Resource: https://wisdomscry.com Social Connections: * BlueSky https://bsky.app/profile/creationspaths.com * Threads https://www.threads.net/@creationspaths * Instagram https://www.instagram.com/creationspaths/#christopagan #creationspirituality #justice #equity #rightrelationshipChapters:00:00 Introduction to Justice and Righteousness01:34 Understanding Hebrew Concepts of Justice and Righteousness02:41 Right Relationship and Moral Laws04:34 Modern Interpretation of Ancient Laws05:51 Equity vs Equality07:29 Questioning Deserving and Worth08:52 The Myth of Scarcity11:45 Reimagining Work and Society14:22 Education and Creative Freedom19:49 Embracing Change and Moving Forward23:02 Closing Prayer and Outro Get full access to Creation's Paths at www.creationspaths.com/subscribe
Proverbs 3:27-32
Stateline Church exists to connect people to Jesus and one another.Fill out a Start Card: https://www.stateline.church/start-here/Learn more about what's happening at Stateline: https://www.stateline.church/events/Join a Stateline Group: https://www.stateline.church/groups/Join the team of volunteers: https://www.stateline.church/serve/Learn more about Stateline Students: https://www.stateline.church/students/Learn more about Stateline Kids: https://www.stateline.church/kids/
In this episode, Dr. Oord engages the theme of prayer in conversation with Gayle Hansen Browne's new book, Wild Geese Rising: Living Prayer as Moment-by-Moment Contemplative Action.For Hansen Browne, prayer arises as a way of beholding and befriending life. This book transforms the practice of “saying our prayers” into an instinctive way of living prayer as moment-by-moment contemplative action.
“No man is an island,” wrote poet John Donne in the 1600s, and these words still ring true today. However, much of our modern analysis and study of ourselves is turned entirely within. We focus on our needs, wants, and abilities rather than how we interact with others. How much does this individualistic view limit our ability to understand ourselves Read More › Source
This Week: Better Governance With Relational Leadership Let's have a frank conversation about the state of nonprofit governance, and staff and volunteer leadership. Some of the issues are individual. Some are systemic. All are fixable once we identify them and … Continue reading →
This episode is all about tactics and customer value. Join Sarah and Aimane Ben M Hand, head of AI & Innovation at Bright Digital, for a packed 20 minutes on how to build a relentlessly innovative AI-first culture within your business and how to deliver AI outcomes for customers, even when trust has been eroded in the past. You'll learn: How to drive AI adoption internally: Bright Digital's playbook for building an AI-first mindset and scaling team innovation fast. What to do when AI projects fail: Why 62% of mid-market companies struggle with early adoption, and how to reset the strategy. Relational intelligence in practice: Why human connection and trust are more critical than ever in an AI-driven world. Bright Digital's AI service mix: From strategy and governance to hands-on agent workflows that boost client outcomes. Practical frameworks for ROI: How to evaluate tools without falling into FOMO and build a realistic path to return on investment. Consider this your step-by-step guide on moving beyond hype, building trust, and delivering measurable AI outcomes.
Brady, a highly literate learner, explains why he stayed with Simply The Story. He has used STS with pagan groups, the downtrodden and rejected, college students, and more. Brady describes STS as the great equalizer that allows people to engage with Scripture relationally. Links: Simply the Story … Upcoming workshops … God's Story: From Creation to Eternity … Moment for Eternity - Training for Evangelism Follow us on Twitter ~ Feedback ~ Facebook ~ iTunes Podcast ~ Vimeo ~ STS Youtube ~ God's Story Youtube
In this episode of the Shift AI Podcast, Dr. Vanja Josifovski, CEO of Kumo and former CTO of Airbnb and Pinterest, joins host Boaz Ashkenazy to explore how artificial intelligence is transforming the way businesses unlock value from their structured data. Josifovski shares his journey from building recommendation systems for millions of users to founding Sequoia-backed Kumo, which is tackling one of AI's biggest challenges: turning business data into actionable insights.From his early days witnessing the evolution of embeddings and vector representations to today's transformer revolution, Josifovski offers a unique perspective on the AI landscape. The conversation delves into why the current AI boom has largely overlooked structured business data, the future of personalized consumer experiences, and how coding tools are democratizing software development. If you're interested in understanding how enterprise data can drive better business decisions and what the future holds for work in an AI-driven world, this episode offers invaluable insights from someone who's been at the forefront of the AI revolution for two decades.Chapters:[02:00] Vanja's Background and AI Journey [04:00] The Evolution of Embeddings and Vectors [07:00] Silicon Valley's AI Revolution [09:00] Founding Kumo and the Enterprise Data Problem [12:00] The Future of Personalization [15:00] How AI is Changing Software Development [18:00] The Optimistic Future of Work [21:00] Societal Changes and Abundance [25:00] From Big Tech to Startup Life [00:28:00] Two Words for the Future: "Lots of Fun"Contact Info:Connect with Vanja Josifovski:● Website: kumo.aiConnect with Boaz Ashkenazy:● LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/boazashkenazy● Email: info@shiftai.fm
Defining Moments Podcast: Conversations about Health and Healing
How do we give voice to complex stories that defy words and the conventions of language? These stories, often of trauma or other profound lived experiences, reside not just in our heads and hearts, but in every cell in our body. Embodied stories are layered, complex, and often chaotic. They vie for expression but lack a means or a format to accommodate them. In this episode of Defining Moments, Dr. Marie Thompson, Professor of Communication at Wright State University, joins host Dr. Joe Bianco to share her pioneering work on narrative mapping. Narrative mapping is a form of visual storytelling born within a carefully cultivated relational setting. Through deep listening and guided questions, Marie creates space for participants to visually map their emerging stories, creating layered representations of their innermost experiences. You can read Marie's articles published in Health Communication at: · https://doi.org/10.1080/10410236.2024.2414471 · https://doi.org/10.1080/10410236.2020.1733228 You can see “Cracked but Never Broken,” Megan Westerfeld's narrative map referenced in the episode, here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cracked-never-broken-barbara-geralds-institute-for-stor-bovzc
Frederick Christian Fellowship Church is a non-denominational church where all people, regardless of where they are on their spiritual journey, are welcome to learn about God and how to have a relationship with him. As a Christ-centered, Bible-believing church, we exist to help people reach their full redemptive potential in Christ. ___ Subscribe to our channel for fresh daily content to keep you connected and inspired all week long. ____ Tap here to give: https://pushpay.com/g/fcfchurch?nt=YouTube&lang=en&src=pcgl ____ FCF Church Service Times: • Online: Sunday's at 9:15 AM and 11:15 AM ____ FOLLOW US Website: http://fcfchurch.com FCF Church Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fcfchurchfrederick FCF Church Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fcfchurch/
“Be sure to look them in the eye and say please and thank you.” If you grew up in home like mine, you constantly heard those words from your mother as she was training you to be kind and polite in social situations. I learned that lesson well and hope that we were successful in passing it on to our own kids. New research from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign has found that when family members show appreciation and gratitude to each other through saying “thank you”, relationships are strengthened and mental health improves. For married couples, showing gratitude to your partner improves relationship satisfaction and mental health. When a child expresses thanks to a parent, parenting stress is actually reduced. As Christian parents, we want to be sure to teach our kids that all good things come from God, including the gift of salvation. Point them to I Chronicles 16:34: “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”
In this episode of Healthy Waves, host Sana explores the transformative intersection of communication, self-awareness, and relational intelligence with Amara Samata — a globally recognized transformational guide and founder of the Inner Guidance Institute. With insights drawn from ancient Tibetan Dzogchen wisdom and modern psychological frameworks, Amara shares how tools like the Inner Mirror Method and Golden Request model help individuals build trust, resolve conflicts, and navigate power dynamics consciously in both personal and professional settings. She addresses common myths about transparency, emotional expression, and the real meaning of empathy. A must-listen for anyone seeking healthier connections and deeper communication. About the Guest:Amara Samata is a transformational guide, communication strategist, and creator of methodologies including the Inner Guidance Method, Inner Mirror, and the Golden Request. With experience across 35 countries and over 2,000 clients, she blends ancient Eastern philosophies with modern psychology to help leaders, couples, and individuals enhance relational intelligence and authentic self-expression. She has worked closely with psychologists, therapists, and spiritual teachers to evolve powerful tools that improve communication, trust, and self-awareness. Key Takeaways: Inner work precedes outer connection: Trust in others starts with self-trust and self-awareness. Communication isn't about talking more — it's about listening to yourself and others simultaneously. Dzogchen-inspired techniques like “feeding your demons” help heal inner resistance and past trauma. Healthy power dynamics rely on mutual respect, not manipulation or dominance. Transparency without discernment can be harmful — honesty must meet emotional intelligence. Misconceptions around ideal communication styles often hinder relational growth. Connect with Amara Samata:Website: www.amarasamata.comInstagram & YouTube: Search “Amara Samata” for updates and future content. Want to be a guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life?DM on PodMatch: Send me a message on PodMatch Tune in to all 15 shows:Podcast Network – Healthy Mind By Avik Subscribe To Our Newsletter:Healthy Mind by Avik on Substack Join Our Community:Nas.io/healthymind Stay Tuned and Follow Us!YouTube – Healthy Mind, Healthy LifeInstagram – @healthyminds.podThreads – @healthyminds.podFacebook – Podcast.HealthymindLinkedIn – Reema Chatterjee | Avik Chakraborty #podmatch #healthymind #HealthyMindByAvik #relationalintelligence #communicationtools #mentalhealthawareness #selfleadership #transformationtools #mindfulnessmatters #podcastlife #consciousrelationships #AmaraSamata #innermirror #goldenrequest #Dzogchenwisdom
In this episode review (Season 14, Ep. 372), Andrea revisits interviews with Dr. Dan Siegel to explore Mindsight—the focused attention that helps us see and reshape our own minds and connect with others. She breaks down how Mindsight underpins social and emotional intelligence and offers practical ways to develop it, including theory-of-mind practice, the Wheel of Awareness, and daily narrative reading. This week, in our review of EP 28 with Daniel J. Siegel, MD and his book Mindsight, we learned: ✔ A deeper definition of Mindsight or seeing the mind in another Mindsight, a term coined by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, is the ability to perceive the mind within ourselves and others. It goes beyond simply observing behavior; it's about sensing thoughts, feelings, intentions, and perspectives that aren't immediately visible. This skill allows us to look beneath the surface of words and actions, to “see” the mind behind them, which leads to deeper empathy, better relationships, and stronger social intelligence. ✔ What is Theory of Mind and how can this skill help us to connect and understand others better Theory of Mind (ToM) is closely related to Mindsight—it refers to our ability to attribute mental states (beliefs, desires, knowledge, intentions) to ourselves and to others. In simple terms, it's recognizing that other people have thoughts and feelings that may be different from our own. This skill is essential for meaningful communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration, because it helps us predict how someone might react, understand why they feel a certain way, and respond with compassion rather than judgment. ✔ What is Theory of Mind and how can this skill help us to connect and understand others better Theory of Mind (ToM) is closely related to Mindsight—it refers to our ability to attribute mental states (beliefs, desires, knowledge, intentions) to ourselves and to others. In simple terms, it's recognizing that other people have thoughts and feelings that may be different from our own. This skill is essential for meaningful communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration, because it helps us predict how someone might react, understand why they feel a certain way, and respond with compassion rather than judgment. ✔ Practical tips to improve our Mindsight or Theory of Mind abilities Pause and Reflect – Before reacting, ask yourself: What might this person be thinking or feeling right now? Name Emotions – Practice labeling your own emotions and noticing them in others (“I feel frustrated” → “They might be anxious”). Perspective-Taking Exercises – Put yourself in someone else's shoes: If I were in their position, what would I be experiencing? Read Fiction Regularly – Choose stories with complex characters and notice how your mind tracks their thoughts and motives. Practice Curiosity in Conversations – Instead of assuming, ask open-ended questions to better understand another's perspective. Mindfulness Training – Strengthen your awareness of your inner world, which improves your ability to tune into the inner world of others. The episode also emphasizes the importance of face-to-face relationships for learning and development, contrasts relational learning with screen-based approaches, and provides actionable tips educators and listeners can use to strengthen empathy, self-awareness, and relational skills. Welcome back to SEASON 14 of The Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast, where we connect the science-based evidence behind social and emotional learning and emotional intelligence training for improved well-being, achievement, productivity and results—using what I saw as the missing link (since we weren't taught this when we were growing up in school), the application of practical neuroscience. I'm Andrea Samadi, and seven years ago, launched this podcast with a question I had never truly asked myself before: (and that is) If productivity and results matter to us—and they do now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make them happen? Most of us were never taught how to apply neuroscience to improve productivity, results, or well-being. About a decade ago, I became fascinated by the mind-brain-results connection—and how science can be applied to our everyday lives. That's why I've made it my mission to bring you the world's top experts—so together, we can explore the intersection of science and social-emotional learning. We'll break down complex ideas and turn them into practical strategies we can use every day for predictable, science-backed results. Which brings up to today's episode #372, where we will take Dr. Dan Siegel's concept of Mindsight, to the next level. On our last EP 371 with Dan Siegel, PART 1 of our review of a very early interview EP 28[i], recorded in November 2019, we covered the importance of: Understanding and Applying Mindsight which is “the way we focus our attention on the internal world. It's how we bring consciousness to our own thoughts and feelings, and how we attune to the inner world of someone else. Mindsight gives us insight into ourselves, and empathy for others.” Mindsight is a concept Dr. Siegel felt to be critical for us to develop noting this skill to be “the basis for social and emotional development.” He notes, that it's a teachable set of skills that we can teach in school, and once mastered is a truly transformational tool. In his book, Mindsight he explains this concept further: “Mindsight is a kind of focused attention that allows us to see the internal workings of our own minds. (and we've been talking about how important it is to go within, for true change in our lives to occur). It helps us to be aware of our mental processes without being swept away by them, (which) enables us to get ourselves off the autopilot of ingrained behaviors and habitual responses, and moves us beyond the reactive emotional loops we all have a tendency to get trapped in. It lets us “name and tame” the emotions we are experiencing, rather than being overwhelmed by them. Consider the difference between saying “I am sad” and “I feel sad.” Similar as those two statements may seem, there is actually a profound difference between them. “I am sad” is a kind of self-definition, and a very limiting one. “I feel sad” suggests the ability to recognize and acknowledge a feeling, without being consumed by it. The focusing skills that are part of mindsight make it possible to see what is inside, to accept it, and in the accepting to let it go, and, finally, to transform it into a NEW reality. You can also think of mindsight as a very special lens that gives us the capacity to perceive the mind with greater clarity than ever before. This lens is something that virtually everyone can develop, and once we have it we can dive deeply into the mental sea inside, exploring our own inner lives and those of others. A uniquely human ability, mindsight allows us to examine closely, in detail and in depth, the processes by which we think, feel, and behave. And it allows us to reshape and redirect our inner experiences so that we have more freedom of choice in our everyday actions, (giving us) more power to create the future, to become the author of our own story. Another way to put it is that mindsight is the basic skill that underlies everything we mean when we speak of having social and emotional intelligence.” (Dr. Daniel J Siegel, Mindsight, Location 105, Kindle Edition). VIDEO 1 Click Here to Watch
In advance of the upcoming Solar Eclipse in Virgo on September 21st, I'm re-sharing a section of my deep dive on the 2025 astrology with Kelsey Rose Tortorice – specifically the part where we discussed the Lunar Nodes in Pisces-Virgo axis. I hope this serves you! If you're into my and Kelsey's vibes and transmissions, check out the full conversation: Part 1 on this podcast (Outer Planets + Chiron)Part 2 on Kelsey's podcast, The Maia Games (The Lunar Nodes, Saturn, and Jupiter)Here's Kelsey's bio:Kelsey is a post-capitalist astrologer, teacher, human design experiMentor, and community initiator. Ruled by a 7th house Jupiter in Gemini, they are a student-teacher of the maia; seeking to understand and universalize the mechanics of reality within the context of individuality, relationship, cosmos, and consciousness as a whole. Kelsey's frequency facilitates upheaval; disrupting homogenized programming and re-orienting people to their differentiated truth and separateness as a means to arriving to connection & inherent wholeness. With reverence for differentiation and a knack for universalization, they embrace the simultaneous uniqueness and sameness of each human experience. Their work incorporates various modalities, frameworks, and spiritual teachings in honoring and navigating this apparent contradiction.Kelsey accompanies others on their journeys towards remembering what they Know, and invites deeper levels of autonomy, authenticity, faith, freedom, and surrender along the way.Kelsey's Links:Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/kelseyrosetortWebsite: https://www.kelseyrosetort.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/kelseyrosetort/Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/themaiagames/ If you've enjoyed and benefited from the podcast, I invite you to apply for private mentorship and coaching with me. This is an intensive container, designed to support you in refining your self-leadership skills, moving through important life thresholds with grace, and expanding your capacity for creative expansions.Try the incredible breathwork and meditation app Open for 30 days free using this special link. This podcast is hosted, produced, and edited by Jonathan Koe. Theme music is also composed by me! Connect with me through my newsletter, my Instagram @jonathankoeofficial, and my music. For podcast-related inquiries, email me at healingthespiritpodcast@gmail.com.
Julia is joined by bestie of the pod Michaela Okland to explore the practice of chosen celibacy, from its ancient history to its resurgence in modern culture. The girlies share their own celibacy journeys, revisit iconic historical figures who opted out of sex and marriage, and discuss the radical 4B movement gaining attention in South Korea, where women are walking away from men entirely. Digressions include the karmic power of The Melting Pot, graduating from Men Are Trash discourse, and dating after grief and loss. This episode was produced and researched by Julia Hava and edited by Livi Burdette. Find Michaela Okland (@michaelaokland) on Twitter and IG! To support the podcast on Patreon and access 50+ bonus episodes, mediasodes, and more, visit patreon.com/binchtopia and become a patron today. SOURCES: 4B movement: what is it and how did it start? | The Week After Trump's win, some women are considering the 4B movement | CNN Are antidepressants making you asexual? | The Spectator Book of the 10th Muse: Love and Marriage Boston Marriages Boston Marriages: Romantic but Asexual Relationships Among Contemporary Lesbians Chaste Marriage In The Middle Ages Going boysober: the women who turned to celibacy in 2024 How Celibate Women Became a Threat | TIME “I Don't Miss It”: Celibacy Is Bringing Some Women Peace Less Is More: Welcome To The Rise Of #Celibacy Neither ‘incel' nor ‘volcel': Relational accounts of UK women's sexual abstinence Re-reading (Vestal) virginity Sex-positive feminism had its moment – and now it has been replaced by voluntary celibacy | Arwa Mahdawi | The Guardian SWORN VIRGINS OF THE BALKAN HIGHLANDS The 4B movement: envisioning a feminist future uwith/in a non-reproductive future in Korea The last of Albania's 'sworn virgins' The rise of voluntary celibacy: ‘Most of the sex I've had, I wish I hadn't bothered' | Sex | The Guardian Women's Agency Through Spinsterhood and Celibacy – Childfree History Museum. Women's rights and the rise of the 4B movement - University of Birmingham Why Gen Zers Are Choosing Celibacy