Monsters in the Morning

Before the fame, before the millions, before the blunder, there was just one man and a dream… Greg Bibington was nothing more than a regular guy with a big idea: How can I make bibs fashionable? What Greg didn't expect was that not only would his dream come true, but he'd also be the new face of food fashion… Unfortunately, in the bib biz the old saying goes: “everyone loves you, till they don't”… Greg “the Bib” Bibington would see first hand what happens when one strays from the public's expectation, but how also salvation can be found while embarking upon the unknown… This is: Behind the Bib, the Greg Bibington Story.

Moon seek stability, hunger for normalcy, while striving for innovation and excellence. It's this constant craving for creativity and wandering for wonder which makes us pioneers of the present. While other company's may hide behind their bottom line, Big Moon drives into the unknown murky waters of the future. For it's this bravery with which we rely upon to guide us in our ever continuing journey not only for the collective truth, but for our collective soul. In order to solve problems you mustn't be afraid to make a few… BM

The Monsters in the Morning are absolutely honored and over joyed to present their brand new food segment On the Table Cloth with Broth featuring food critic Broth Jennings. Providing in depth and insider insight to some of the best known and not so known foodie hot spots in Chi-Town. Broth brings to the table not only a seasoned knowledge of the best cuisine, but a raw and full bodied love of all things food related. From farm to table, garden to gullet, pan to man, Broth knows best! Orders up?

It simply is not the holidays without a revisiting of the most celebrated holiday Christmas tradition seasons greetings celebration time family album Cotton Man's “A Sleigh Full of Cheer”. This year's album is chock full of classic songs, memories, and plenty of cheer. Won't you come celebrate with us… again?

From scientist to swamp people, the mysteries of the Oracles of Delphi have transfixed and transformed the minds of seekers and streakers for eons. With the help of recent discoveries and unearthed and uncovered insight the Monsters in the Morning are proud to present Decoding the Oracles of Delphi. An in-depth and in-dirt expose' and exercise in phenomenological wonder. Won't you join us?

We are in the thickness of October and chewing are way through this delicious prime rib roast of a month and absolutely savoring every morsel of its fatty, sweet, succulent, complex, flavorful, protein body. What a world we live in that us two gents from the big city are able to rap with you all about the bountiful bounty that is Chicago sports. Lucky is too little a word, yet its hard not to feel that way while mopping up the sweet sporty juices of a tender beef steak with a fresh baguette of data and fandom. Bon Appetite.

When one thinks of the major earth shaking events in history of Chicago football some tend to stick out more than the rest. For instance when Papa Bear George H swapped the traditional dead and decaying turkey carcass for a more usable and less stinky pig skinned bag of wheat, thus changing the physical and emotional relationship players have with the o'l kick'n gizzard. Or when Big Dave Wanstead and his coaching staff installed indoor plumbing in the players wash'n hole, kicking aside the old civil war era tin tubs for shower heads. Fast forward to 2024 and the major investments management has made in this year's squad and we may just be privy to boring witness to the next BIG thang. Hold onto your hats.

From Paper Plates to Paper Bags, from kids named Cody to kids named Zack, from Pogs to Pigs, Russia to Reptiles, Robin Hood to Robin Williams the 90s sure were a rich decade. So much so it garners yet another revisiting of what really was big in the 90s…

#267 - Beverly Green: Tacos, Creativity, Beans, Biology, Questions and Fragments of Possible Answers.

Every once in a while it's best to go back to bay sacks. You know what I mean… Those warm cozy sacks of hay that sit by the bay waiting to be visited by weary nomads and those astray… For thousands of years bay sacks have been a comforting sight, a welcoming softness consisting of a bright billowing blanket-like sack that yearn for a visit from non other than… you. So dive in, it feels good here :)

I'm sure you no doubt have had your mead fill. Unfortunately theres simply too much information, content, context, history, texture, juicy details, creamy middles, savory crusts, nutty back ends, fruity fronts and mouthwatering mouth feels for this Mead Saga to end. So as they say in the Land of Mead: Let's make some “pour” decisions!

Mead is a honey wine. It's made from fermenting honey. Ain't that something? Some enjoy this drink. So much so that they have free standing buildings dedicated to to celebrating its creation. They also drink it there and talk about how it tastes, its level of dryness, fruitiness, stink, and how the subtle pine notes dance upon the tongue and throat when slowly gathered in the mouth and down the esophagus. What a time to be alive.

MY birthday is very important. It's probably the most important day of the year, right next to Christmas and Memorial Day. Simply put, Its my most favorite day EVER! I love love love it. I really do. Everyone who knows me understands this and respects the severity of the universal acknowledgment of extreme importance MY DAY deserves. And why wouldn't they. They love me and hence they should also love MY DAY. And they do. And that makes me smile :) So gear up gals because this year is gonna be big! Real big!! Really really big!!! It better be…

The 90s… Ten years of fun, family, french fries, and freedom…A decade of TV shows, tap dancing, tag and tang…521 weeks of Wendys, wishing wells, Walters and wonder…120 months of memories, muppets, mittens and mint…3652 days of doorbells, dips, dip shits and dung…What a time to be alive…?

With so much information out there its hard to compute what's worth investigating and what to toss in the old trash heap. A good rule of thumb is to do a broad general search online where you will no doubt be inundated with a cornucopia of factoids and expertise first hand accounts that will for sure tickle your underbelly. After a few hours of mindless scrolling, word skimming, and video vomit, your eventually find your fancy. From there the world is your oyster. Dive in, enjoy the jelly and see where your research takes you. Cheers!

Raising and nurturing a dog is said to be the most important job/life event one will ever embark upon in their short journey on this earth. From late night walks to the dog park to get one last sniff of a favorite bush, to early morning piles of feces on the threshold. There truly is no grater joy then dressing your pup in its favorite rain coat and boots and going frocking in the big city. Dog Talk with Sparky and Smokey celebrate this fact, and are here to provide you with years of expertise and know how to make sure your most important companion stays top dog.

Christmas time can bring about a jubilee of emotions. Where some enjoy the scents and sounds of cookies being baked in Nana's kitchen, other may find the experience difficult and nauseating. While most love standing in long lines, tasting the many tints and textures offered by kraut carts, and sipping on $12 hot cocoas all compliments of the local Christkindlmarket; a small number, in fact a select few, may actually find the event idiotic, a rip off or dare I even say… stupid. And as most love the wonder and magic of Cotton Man's Annual Sleigh Full of Cheer Christmas Special, others simply skip the episode - the choice is yours. God Bless!

This whole sports watching and analyzing thing can get quite exhausting. Especially when your in-depth investigation and expert commentary are shouted into a vacuum, a cosmic void, a barren tundra, a sunken ship taken over by the sea and its many mysteries, an elderly man's sterile garage where a mint condition ‘96 Ford Taurus may or may not be parked, an empty gymnasium that smells of farts, a sleepy meadow where you and a lover once walked barefoot and naked in the dewy long grass in search of shade and patch of soft moss to lie down both your bodies and inhibitions. Oh to be young again.

Legend has it that the one known only as “The Keeper” shall inherit the cans. And as it has been foretold The Keeper shall: “Salvage, store, and keep safe” thy bounties. Today, tomorrow, and until thou is called upon to “return they from hence they came”. Until authorized: “thy Keeper shall continue to keep, even as thy spoils spoil, seals become unsealed and what was once liquid turns to hardened stone”. For it is written, it shall be true.

Happy Halloween Everyone! Seriously we hope you are smiling throughout the day. Really smiling and beaming with joy. Glowing really! We know that can be hard. So to help you celebrate this most celebrated and enjoyed of the holiday celebrations of fun-fun we a MITM pulled all our available funds to present to you a VERY SPECIAL episode chock full fo SPECIAL GUESTS. We hope you enjoy! Heck, special guests cost a special amount of money and since we did this we really have little to none left. So there that too…

Most doctors agree that your health is very important. Of course you can disagree, however, it's hard to doubt the very notion when looking at the raw data and examining the fresh numbers that believe it or not you health IS a major factor when determining if your body is in good working order. It can be surprising and a tough pill to swallow and the choice is yours to use such information to benefit a better, cleaner, more active and healthy lifestyle, OR disregard such findings and continue to go on enjoying a lifestyle where all is on the table and your hunger is never deprived from sinking into whatever seems pleasing at that very moment. I say “Live your Bliss” and the rest will follow suit. Cheers.

Mike and Charley are back bringing you all kinds of shit for you to listen to. Put your ear near the speaker and let the crap envelop your concha while leaving a fresh coat of audio feces all over your large bowl shaped helix. Yep it's a shit show for the ages, with plenty of burning, blasting, loud, and painful tones ready and waiting to be dumped all over your face and or neck. Beware, you've been warned.

‘Twas once a time when we had the time to sit. We'd sit on a wooden chair and gaze longingly out our kitchen window. We'd sit on an old bucket and sing in 3 part harmony with our fellow neighbors. Yes, we would sit and stare and stare sit, and sit in shit and shit and sit. It truly was a beautiful era and a time we so desperately lack today. So take a moment today and sit, listen and watch. Heck you just may learn something new, see an exotic bird, or at the very least have a chance to rest your aching back. XOXOXOXO

Feces. For decades scientists have been trying to duplicate the subtle textures, scents, and overall durability of one of the worlds' most plentiful organic substances. However, such a feat has illuded some of this century's most brilliant minds, as failure after failure had rendered the process near impossible. That all changed with the development of Synthetic Shit. The worlds first 100% Synthetic fecal matter. The future is now and its currently on sale!

Today on the Building Fence podcast “Where We Bridge the Gap”. Ben speaks with Rodney Curtin, Cambridge neuroscience expert and leading scholar on sustainable energy. Rodney is also a leading thinker and notable entity on all things AI, computer interfaces and Mediterranean cuisine. Today's discussion includes: AI, the significance of Beluga Whales, LLCs, MBAs, the NBA, VBI and P.I.G, Existential Risk, Dangerous info Vs. Fun information, apples, pork futures, the number zero, the letter “O”, and other topics.

Tackling the hard questions of the day while providing in debt quasi answers within a meandering complex labyrinth of words and guttural toots. Monsters in the Morning: After Dark is an open source, free wisdom, public service given to the world as a gift by Manic Mike and Touchdown Charley. Any and all donations are welcomed and celebrated.

To live in Pompeii was to live a life of happiness, joy, fruit, seawater, rocks, sand, sex, milk, mush… but also fear. For those in Pompeii knew there was an evil lurking in the sky, towering above them, waiting to spew its hot and juicy inner core all over the place. Twas only a matter of time till the grand “Party in Pompeii” would come to an end… for good.

One day it just hit me. I got up on a cool September morning, gazed upon the dewy grass, and knew right there and then that I belonged on a stage. Have I ever performed? No. Did I have any talent? No. Had I ever expressed in any way some sort of sign or signal, either verbal or nonverbal, to my loved ones, or even to myself, that I had an urge to entertain? No. Was I scared? Yes. Was I nude? Yes. Am I still scared? Yes. Am I still nude? Yes. But I still did it. I picked up the phone and called Giggle Playhouse right there and then. Within a week I was standing alone in a small unfurnished room with no air conditioning, a few less hundred dollars in my bank account, a bladder full of urine and a heart racing. I was home.

Just like the old saying goes: “March comes in like a lion, and out… like a… lion?” How true it is. How true it really is... But luckily as the cold wind turns to a quiet breeze, as the frost on our doorknob transforms from a chilly handshake to a dewing hello, we rejoice in the transformation of not only the season but of ourselves. Alas, rise up and rejuvenate in the warm glow of the sun - Ita Vero.

Traditions come and traditions go. But those that last the test of time are special, precious, sacred…important. We hold these traditions close, we hug them and love them and look forward to their perennial arrival with much anticipation and glee. So it's only natural to celebrate these traditions throughly and intensely. It's what makes them so much fun! So overdo it, indulge, and fill your body and soul with the overflowing joy and pride these traditions require. Then go and vomit it all out. Cheers.

Its a dog eat dog world out there. Everywhere you go someones trying to strap a short lease on you and strangle your emotions. Leading your ass along as they watch you urinate in the nude. Real nasty like that. Yelling every time you happen to bark at a car or the door bell. Lambasting you for eating out of your trash can or enjoying the taste of your own shit. Rubbing your under belly like your some kind of pet, as they laugh at you. Laugh! Well, keep laughing I say. Keep laughing and enjoy the dog show.

‘Tis a busy time to be a sports fan, and an even busier time to be a sports fanatic! So many sports to choose from, yet so little time to watch each and every match one wishes they could… What to do…? Well for starters you may need to reevaluate how you spend you time. If you spend most of your time at work earning a good wage to support your family, however, in doing so your missing the big games of the week; well then maybe its time you take a step back from the grind, quite quit or do it loudly, either way YOUR team needs YOU. So do whats right. Same goes for family gatherings, outings with friends, community engagements, funerals, weddings, major holidays, lunar anomalies, barn dances, dance recitals, dance lessons, cooking classes, etc. etc. etc.

When the winter air begins to nip,Heres a quick style tip.Toss out your puffy coat and your long johns too,And embrace the world with a fashion so old that it's new.So what is this new and exciting mode that we speak?It's nothing more that a simple sweater tweak.Tighten the neck and add elastic to the wrist,You see it's still a sweater but heres the twist.You ditch the hood attached to your back,And with your newly made sweatshirt your life will be back on track.

If you like salt and love yourself some soda then you'll have a grad time tuning into our resident salty-soda heads: The Salt ‘N Soda Boyz featuring: John Salt and Dan Soda. Sit back, recline, and relax as these world class soda-sippers fill your bucket to the brim if all the bubbly salty liquid your big bloated belly can handle. Life can get pretty salty sometimes, rest assured as the soda stuffers stuff your gullet with as much salty salt and slippery soda your pie hole can clench. Salt. Soda. Repeat until sick.

Traditions can be hard. They can bring about anxiety, worry, and a host of other suppressed feelings one has worked diligently to bottle deep within the bowels of their psyche. However, in some rare occasions time honored traditions can in fact provide just the right amount of respite and cheer our bodies and souls require in order to make its way through yet another year on this god forsaken planet. Alas, Cotton Man's Christmas Special is simply not one of those traditions. However, here it is anyway. Prost.

It's the holiday season and with the holidays come everyones favorite annual holiday tradition: the annual holiday party. So jump into the holidays with the holiday maestros themselves Mike and Charley, and listen in as they guide you through the best holiday inspired ways to rein in the holiday cheer. Holidays can be hard, and no doubt these upcoming holidays will be no different… for it is the holidays after all. So let's all put on best'st, bravest, holiday'st face. Happy Hollandaise?

Relive the journey as the Monsters in the Morning proudly present: Moon Dump 2022: The Entire Saga in One Nice and Neat Package.

Strange how every year around this time we no doubt will wake up one nondescript morning, roll up our socks and gaze in disbelief at the sudden metamorphosis in our environment. This once comfortable and cozy atmosphere now filled with chilling uneasiness and biting unfamiliarity. We wander around with a head full of wonderings unsure of the future yet petrified of the present. It's a scary place and and an even scarier mindset. The abandonment of security and awash with venerability, we seek answers yet can't find the questions. Days go by without a speck of happiness within arms reach, and whenever the fleeting sparkle may float by, it withers once touched, falling apart into nothingness as our body and soul tries to grasp its necessary nourishment… Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Its The Monsters In The Morning Election Night Extravaganza Spectacular Fun-Fun Big Time Up To The Minute Hyper Local Hyper Focal Hyper Notable Dirty Little Stink-Pit Election Headquarters HQ Dr. Q Crazy Time Wow Show.

Every morning during the month of October I like to start the day with a fresh hot pumpkin for breakfast. It's nothing special. I simply pop a small one in the microwave for a few seconds till soft, sprinkle it with powdered sugar then proceed to eat the pumpkin stem and all. I don't condone the practice, nor particularly enjoy it myself. In fact anther tradition I have during the month is vomiting up chunks of pumpkin all over my walkway, sidewalk, car interior, car exterior, workplace washroom, the local 711 coffee station, my shower stall, the park district locker room, my walk in closet, my antique wardrobe, and my bosses lap. So there's that. Well Happy Halloween.

Autumn leaves whisper to us their sweet songAs they crackle and crunch while we walk along. The air is brisk and the smell is amber.I hide my shit-stained undies at the bottom of the hamper.The coffee is hot and the flavor is pun-kin.Its my drawers I say that I accidentally took a dump in…We rejoice each year with this sudden change of the weather.You know what that means, break out the sweaters!But alas I can't because of the discovery she sees…Apparently my favorite fall cloak is covered in feces.Happy Fall Everyone!

‘Twas written long ago, on some sort of ancient scroll, made of some sort of ancient parchment: “Be it so, thy first dump to fall upon thee surface of thy moon will be grand indeed!” In keeping with tradition and driven by a curiosity bordering on mild stupidity and ineptitude, Mike and Charley finally reach their final destination. Landing a much needed end to this long winded and meandering story, one which will hopefully be stricken from the record forevermore and never spoken of again.

It's the kind of thing every little boy dreams of: getting the chance to fly to the moon, land on said moon, and then having the unique opportunity to take a large shit on that very same moon, only to fly back home to a waiting ticker tape parade and a true heroes welcome. It's all so surreal that it could have come directly out of a book of space themed fairy tales with a scientific spin. God speed sweet princes, may your bodies and bowels fare thee well. Love Always, Houston

Carrying the weight of the world upon his larger than normal body, Maniac Mike must contemplate just how in the world he and TDC will make it to the moon. While lying with his soulmate the big man just can't seem to turn off his giant head. Alone in the woods, body bloated, inflated with MSG, it's within the television screen that the human balloon finds his only solace.

With bodies and minds full of highly salted and sauced meats and veggies, Mike and TDC begin their long journey towards the truth: the moon. Logistically getting there is a whole other thing. Were talking bout spaceships, space suits, space food, space for Mike's big ass within the space ship, cameras for space, space for the cameras, space for any extra soy sauces or condiments for the space food or any other land food brought aboard, funding for the space trip and so on and so forth. Its a lot of work, but also a heck of a lot of fun too. Cheers.

When I need a bite but have no place in sight, I simply pick up the phone and make it a take out night.So many choices for me, a large body to ponder; but in the end I don't fret, for there's no need to wander.My appetite intense, my pangs quite the shock; my body craves carbs, General Tso and noodles via wok.Looking though the menu the options are endless, not ordering a few egg rolls would just be senseless.Soon the order is placed and delivered in due time; the payment: charge, and the portions: all large.

“Analogies are a lot like cookies, they taste good even when they crumble” - Known But Forgotten On holiday from the the rat race and rigamarole of sports podcasting excellence, Mike and Charley are at peace amongst fauna and flora. It's within this silent melancholy that an epiphany is awakened within big Mike's big ‘ol melon head. Finally the connections are fitting, the pieces are connecting, and the answers seem fit for discussion and there's only one man who can help lead the charge towards total enlightenment.

“When duty calls you better not shit your pants…” - UnknownFirst Commander Chuck has just entered into the final stage of his mission to the moon. After months of hard pressed, sweaty, wet, and downright silly trainings, TDC is now ready to disembark the ship and relive himself on the moon. The mission; which has been meticulously planned and executed with the help of larger than most earth based moon-man Mike, has been mostly successful, all that awaits now is for TDC's final dropping(s).

Believe it or not the world was once just one giant floating piece of rock, just rumbling around in the ocean without a care. It was a wild time. Full of all kinds of strange plants, bugs, and weird looking fish things that had like no face or body… Imagine that! But hey, that was just how it was. It was a simpler time indeed. A time when we were one solid thing of soil-like stuff. Unbroken. Undone. This was the time of Pangaea.

When opportunity comes a knock'n you can either answer the door and embrace the good fortune with open arms and grace. Or (as I like to do) pretend not to hear, lie back down on the couch in silence, and simply wait out said knocker until they eventually move on to another unsuspecting larf. It's your choice after all. You hold all the cards, and it's you and only you who can open that door and walk over the threshold. What lies beyond that gateway is scary and unfamiliar, yet necessary towards living a more stable and secure life… so I prefer not to enter. After all Mother needs me more here.

Most birthdays come but once a year. And that's really too bad. For if it was up to us, we'd celebrate you every single day of the calendar year. So enjoy today. YOUR day. The day YOU were born. Today is yours and yours alone. Its YOUR DAY! Hooray! And for that we wish you the happiest of birthdays. May you dance.