Podcasts about yelling

When a child is in meltdown, 30 seconds matter most. The 5 Phrases to Calm an Angry Child in Under a Minute gives parents science-backed tools to calm without escalating the nervous system. Roseann Capanna-Hodge is an expert in Regulation First Parenting™ and emotional dysregulation in children.When your child is angry, those first few seconds can feel chaotic and overwhelming. Your heart races, your voice tightens, and suddenly nothing seems to work. But there is a way to shift the moment—starting with your nervous system and the words you choose.Let me share how to respond in ways that calm the nervous system instead of escalating it—and what parents can do right now.Why does my child explode when I try to calm them down?When your child is already overwhelmed, even calm words can feel like pressure to their nervous system.Anger is not defiance—it's a full-body survival response where the brain moves into protection mode.The amygdala is in charge, not the thinking brainLogic shuts down when threat is perceivedYour child isn't choosing the reaction—they're stuck in itReal-life example: You say “calm down,” but your child hears “you're not safe,” and escalates further.What should I say in the first 30 seconds of my child's anger?Those first 30 seconds can either lower or raise the intensity of dysregulation.Here are simple, grounded phrases that signal safety and connection:“I see this is really hard right now.” → reduces threat“I'm going to stay calm with you.” → co-regulates the brain“You are safe, I'm here.” → signals safety to the body“Let's take one small step.” → prevents overwhelm“We can solve this when your brain is calm.” → delays reasoning safelyReal-life example:Instead of arguing during a meltdown, you sit nearby and calmly say, “I'm here. We'll figure this out together.”Yelling less and staying calm isn't about being perfect—it's about having the right tools.Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it.Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletterHow do I calm my nervous system when my child is melting down?Your nervous system sets the emotional tone in the room.When you regulate yourself first, you become your child's anchor.Slow your breathing before speakingLower your voice instead of raising itFocus on being a stable presence, not a perfect parentTry tools from Quick CALM and the Regulated Child Summit to get step-by-step, science-backed strategies you can use in real moments of dysregulation.Why doesn't reasoning work during emotional outbursts?Because your child's brain is not online for reasoning in that moment.When dysregulated, the prefrontal cortex goes offline, meaning:Problem-solving is temporarily impossibleInstructions feel like pressureEmotions override logic

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Send us Fan MailYou did not sleep. Again. And now you have a full day ahead, kids to manage, and a voice in your head already telling you it is going to be a terrible day.In this episode of the Zen Supermom podcast, Alena shares the 3 steps she uses to get through a productive day even on no sleep, without snapping at her kids and without burning herself out.This is not about pushing harder. It is not about spa days. It is about understanding why the mental suffering on tired days is actually optional, and what the real root of the problem is.What you will learn in this episode:Why lack of sleep is not actually the reason you lose your patience with your kidsThe concept of learned helplessness and how it connects to your childhoodStep 1 How to catch the poor me story and create space between the feeling and your reactionStep 2 What taking care of yourself actually means, starting with asking for help without feeling guiltyStep 3 The big picture helicopter view and the 99 year old grandma exercise that puts any exhausted day into perspectiveWhy the mental suffering on tired days is optional even when the physical exhaustion is completely realWhy taking care of yourself on no-sleep days is the most important thing you can do for your kidsNext step: join Alena live in the free Mommy Tantrum Masterclass: https://zensupermom.easywebinar.live/mommy-tantrum-masterclassApply to be coached live on the podcast: https://form.jotform.com/261413211817347Free Mommy Tantrum Masterclass: https://zensupermom.easywebinar.live/mommy-tantrum-masterclass Website: alenagomesrodrigues.com Instagram: @alenagomesrodrigues Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/ZenSupermom Book — I Yelled I Cried I Healed: https://www.amazon.com/Yelled-Cried-Healed-Supermom-Tantrums-ebook/dp/B0FNS4QRNCTopics: no sleep mom, mom burnout, sleep deprivation parenting, learned helplessness, mommy tantrum, emotional regulation for moms, generational trauma, people pleasing mom, taking care of yourself as a mom, calm parenting, stop yelling at kids, zen supermom podcast.Support the showHi, I'm Alena - founder of Zen Supermom and creator of the IDTR method (Intergenerational Developmental Trauma Repatterning).I work with thoughtful, committed parents who have already tried to understand themselves - and still find themselves reacting under pressure in ways they don't want.My work focuses on changing the underlying pattern that formed early, shows up in the nervous system under stress, and gets passed on to the next generation unless addressed as a whole.

New here? Start with our Start Here playlist — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood. The Yelling Series: Part 1: Why You Keep Yelling Even When You Promised Yourself You'd Stop Part 2: Why Your Body Starts the Yelling Before Your Brain Does (And How to Stop It) Part 3: Why What You Do After You Yell Matters More Than the Yelling Itself — you're here You already know the guilt that comes after you yell. This episode is about what to do instead of drowning in it. In the finale of the Yelling Series, JoAnn shares the complete three-step repair framework — the exact words to say to your child after you lose it, why repair actually builds a stronger relationship than perfection ever could, and how to close the loop in under a minute so everyone can move forward. Because here's what the research on attachment tells us: it's not the yelling that causes long-term harm. It's the absence of repair. And once you know how to repair well, everything changes. What you'll learn: Why rupture and repair from attachment theory means the yelling itself is not what damages your relationship — and what actually does Why a mom who repairs consistently is doing something a mom who never yells but never addresses conflict cannot do Step 1: How to apologize simply and specifically — and the one word that destroys every apology (hint: it's "but") Step 2: How to take complete ownership of your behavior without letting your child off the hook or making them defensive Step 3: How to say what you'll work on in the future — and why promising effort instead of perfection is the only promise you can actually keep What all three steps sound like together in one real conversation — under a minute, no drama required How to teach your kids to apologize without ever telling them to — just by modeling it yourself What to do if your child isn't ready to respond right away after your repair Why if you've been yelling for a while, it'll take time for your kids to trust the change — and why that's completely okay "It's not yelling that causes most of the issues in relationships. It's the absence of repair. When repair exists, everything gets better. That's what creates the long-term relationship."

If you've ever wondered why your child melts down over small things, you're not alone—what looks like overreacting is often a nervous system that has already reached its limit. Learn more about what's really happening underneath these meltdowns, how emotional dysregulation builds throughout the day, and what actually helps calm the nervous system instead of escalating the behavior.It can feel confusing when your child holds it together all day… then falls apart over dinner, a simple “no,” or a change in plans. Parents often say, “Why is everything such a big deal?”Once you understand nervous system regulation in children, you stop reacting to the explosion and start seeing the pattern underneath it. And that's where real change begins.Let's break it down in a way that finally makes sense—and gives you something you can actually do about it.Why This Matters More Than You ThinkWhen you see why your child melts down over small things, it's easy to think it's just a behavior issue or a phase they'll grow out of. But what's actually happening is much deeper—your child's nervous system is telling you they've reached their limit. And when we miss that signal, we end up reacting to behavior instead of supporting regulation. Repeated dysregulation isn't just about hard moments at home—it affects sleep, learning, relationships, and your child's ability to recover emotionally over time.Once you understand that behavior is communication and not defiance, you stop asking “How do I fix this?” and start asking “What is my child's nervous system needing right now?”Why does my child melt down over small things after a “good” day?When parents ask why your child melts down over small things, they're usually looking at the wrong moment. The meltdown isn't caused by chicken nuggets, bedtime, or homework—it's the final drop in a full stress cup.Throughout the day, your child is constantly regulating:Following directionsManaging frustrationNavigating social pressureHolding it together at schoolBy the time they get home, there is simply no capacity left.Key takeaways:Meltdowns are delayed stress release, not sudden reactions“Good days” can still be neurologically exhaustingCapacity matters more than behavior in the momentReal-life example:A child seems fine after school, but at dinner, they explode because the smallest demand tips them over the edge. The issue wasn't dinner—it was everything before dinner.What causes emotional dysregulation in children throughout the day?Emotional dysregulation in children builds quietly through small, repeated stressors that adults often don't see. Each transition, instruction, or expectation adds weight to the nervous system.Over time, the system shifts into survival mode.What fills the Stress Cup:Academic pressure and focus demandsSocial masking and peer stressTransitions (class, home, activities)Sensory overload (noise, chaos, movement)Constant self-control effortWhen the cup is full, even small requests feel overwhelming.Parent-friendly insights:It's not about one trigger—it's about total loadDysregulation is cumulative, not randomYour child isn't refusing—they're depletedReal-life example:Harry gets through school by holding everything together. At home, his system finally lets go—not because he's being difficult, but because he's out of regulation capacity.Yelling less and staying calm isn't about being perfect—it's about having the right tools. Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it. Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletterHow do I calm a dysregulated child without making it worse?When a child is in a heightened state of emotional dysregulation in children, correction, logic, or consequences will not work. The nervous system cannot process language—it can only respond to safety.This is where co-regulation techniques matter most.What helps in the moment:Pause before respondingLower your voice and slow your paceSay less, not moreOffer calm presence instead of instructionWhat does NOT help:Explaining why they “should calm down”Asking too many questionsRaising your voice to gain controlParent example:Your child is melting down over dinner. Instead of correcting, you sit quietly nearby, soften your tone, and say, “That was a lot today.” The shift doesn't come from words—it comes from your regulated presence.VISUAL: What a dysregulated brain needs first = Safety, not solutionsWhy does parent emotional regulation change everything?One of the most powerful shifts in parenting a dysregulated child is this: your nervous system leads theirs.When you escalate, they escalate. When you regulate, they borrow your calm.That's why parent emotional regulation is not optional—it's foundational.What changes when you regulate first:Fewer explosive cyclesFaster recovery after triggersMore connection during conflictLess power struggle energyMicro-shifts that matter:Pause before correctingBreathe before respondingSlow your physical movementsFocus on connection before correctionReal-life insight:A parent notices that when they stop reacting immediately and instead lower their voice, their child's intensity drops within minutes. Nothing else changed—just regulation first.What is really happening in your child's nervous system?At the core of why your child melts down over small things is a simple truth: regulation takes energy. For dysregulated kids, it is not automatic—it is effortful.That means your child is constantly working to:Stay focusedFilter inputManage emotionsHandle transitionsBy the end of the day, their system has no flexibility left.Key nervous system truths:Low capacity = high reactivityStress reduces emotional flexibilitySafety restores regulation abilityReal-life example:A teenager who seems “fine” all day becomes irritable and explosive at night. It's not attitude—it's nervous system exhaustion.“It's not the chicken nuggets. It's everything the nervous system has been carrying all day.”— Dr. RoseannWhat You're Seeing Isn't the MomentIf your child is melting down over small things, it does not mean they are difficult—it means they are overwhelmed. Once you understand emotional dysregulation in children through the nervous system lens, everything starts to make sense.And the most powerful shift you can make today is simple: slow yourself down first.You're not alone in this—and you're not doing it wrong. You just needed a different lens.Take one step toward regulation first. That's where change begins.FAQsWhy does my child melt down over small things?Because stress builds throughout the day. The meltdown is the nervous system releasing accumulated overload.How do I calm a dysregulated child?Start with co-regulation: slow your voice, reduce language, and focus on calming before correcting.Is my child defiant or dysregulated?Often what looks like defiance is actually a nervous system overload, not intentional behavior.What is nervous system regulation in children?It's the ability to manage stress and emotions. When overloaded, children lose flexibility and react strongly to small triggers.When your child is struggling, time matters.Don't wait and wonder—use the Solution Matcher to get clear next steps, based on what's actually going on with your child's brain and behavior.Take the quiz at www.drroseann.com/helpDr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge is a licensed therapist, certified school psychologist, and leading expert in emotional dysregulation in children. With over 30 years of experience,

You've been the parent yelling. Or you've been the parent watching the parent yelling and thinking thank God that's not me, also it's kind of me sometimes. That's where Jonathan Carone started Healthy Sports Parents — standing on a sideline watching a dad reduce his nine-year-old to tears, feeling sympathy for the girl and empathy for the dad.Eighteen months and 100K+ Instagram followers later, Jonathan joins Chad and Craig to talk about the part of youth sports nobody puts on a brochure: the way it holds a mirror up to the parts of you that haven't been processed. The pride that swells when your kid scores. The rage that flashes when they jog. The 13-year-old running at your kid in a corner kick, who somehow turns into the kid who slammed you into a wall in 1999.We go places this conversation usually doesn't:Why the dads who knew the game best left rec league — and why that left Jim the Accountant coaching your eight-year-old off YouTube tutorialsThe "self-love and self-glory" framework Jonathan teaches in module one of his course — and why it explains every parent meltdown you've ever witnessedThe middle-school cliff that nobody talks about (top 10 of 300 kids make the team — what about the other 290?)The Let Kids Play Act, private equity vs. venture capital in youth sports, and the line between earning a living and preying on parents' fearsWhy Jonathan's book agent told him the parents who need his book most won't be the ones who buy itThe honest conversation about money: Healthy Sports Parents is a $16K-this-year side hustle. He's figuring it out in real time.Chad's daughter on a winning team who came to him and said "this isn't fun anymore" — and what they did nextIf you're staring down summer camps, all-star season, club renewals, or just one more Saturday tournament — this is the one to listen to before the games start.Jonathan Carone is the creator of Healthy Sports Parents — a podcast, social platform, and forthcoming book (Fall 2027) helping parents raise great humans through youth sports. Find him at healthysportsparents.com and @healthysportsparents on Instagram.

Am I an old man yelling at clouds!? Excuses to use when trying to get out of plans! Tearaway pants should make a comeback! All this and more on The Mark and Jess Replay!

In a change heard across the world, Xbox is now XBOX!  And the crowd goes... mild?   Now on with The Regular Show!  

What if the goal of parenting is not to control your kids, but to become the parent they call when life gets messy?In this episode of The Men's Collective Podcast, I sit down with Wendy and Terry Snyder from Fresh Start Family to talk about connection-based discipline, strong fatherhood, nervous system awareness, and how dads can lead their homes with both firmness and warmth.We talk about why so many fathers default to fixing, controlling, threatening, yelling, or shutting down when their kids have big emotions. Wendy and Terry share how “connection before correction” helps parents build trust, reduce power struggles, and raise strong, emotionally resilient kids without relying on fear-based parenting.This conversation is especially for dads who want to stop repeating old parenting patterns, repair faster after conflict, and build a relationship where their kids feel safe, respected, and deeply loved.In this episode, we cover:Why dads often try to fix big emotions too quicklyWhat children actually need during stressful momentsWhy discipline means teaching, not punishmentHow to set firm boundaries without fear, shame, or controlWhy repair matters more than getting parenting perfectHow to stop using threats and bribes as parenting toolsThe difference between true strength and forceHow nervous system awareness changes the way dads respondWhy strong kids need connection, not dominationHow to become the parent your child calls when life gets hardLearn more about Fresh Start Family: freshstartfamilyonline.com

The News consists of Greg sharing a story of a child demanding a hot dog on ferry right next to him and Matthew Perry's assitant being sentenced to jail.

New here? Start with our Start Here playlist — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood. The Yelling Series: Part 1: Why You Keep Yelling Even When You Promised Yourself You'd Stop Part 2: Why Your Body Starts the Yelling Before Your Brain Does (And How to Stop It) — you're here Part 3: Why What You Do After You Yell Matters More Than the Yelling Itself (coming Thursday, June 4th) You've tried counting to ten. You've tried breathing. You've read the books, you've watched the reels, and you still yell. What if it's not about trying harder — what if something else entirely is going on in your body? In Part 2 of the Yelling Series, JoAnn goes deeper than the standard coping advice. Your body starts the yelling before your brain even knows what's happening — and for some moms, the tools just don't work because the root cause isn't a mindset problem at all. This episode covers the physical mechanics of yelling, a breathing practice to try right now, and a deeply personal conversation about hormones, neurodiversity, and why so many women have been left without answers for far too long. What you'll learn: Why the rushing feeling Jenna Free talked about on Tuesday is your body's earliest warning signal — and what to do the moment you notice it The relationship between time and stress — and the reframe from The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks that will change how you talk about not having enough time Box breathing: what it actually is, how to practice it, and why it only works if you catch yourself early enough JoAnn's personal story of going on hormone replacement therapy — and how it eliminated her migraines, fixed her sleep, and gave her energy back Why so many women's symptoms (stiff shoulders, anxiety, waking at 3am, mood swings) are being treated individually when the underlying cause is estrogen The progesterone and sleep connection that nobody talks about enough Why women with ADHD experience perimenopausal symptoms up to 10 years earlier than the general population Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) — what it is, how it shows up in parenting, and why knowing about it keeps JoAnn calm when her kids reject her boundaries Why if somatic tools aren't working for you, it is not you — and what might actually be going on "If the tools aren't working, it might not be you. It might be hormones, neurodiversity, or biology that's worth investigating. You deserve to have the best relationships and best life possible — free of the guilt." Note: JoAnn's hormone story is shared from personal experience only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your own healthcare provider about any health concerns. Resources mentioned: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks — the time reframe JoAnn references in this episode Dr. Mary Claire Haver on the Armchair Expert podcast — perimenopause and menopause episode ADDitude Magazine article: Study: Perimenopausal Symptoms Are More Severe, Begin Earlier in Women with ADHD Tuesday's episode with Jenna Free: Why You're Always Rushing — And What Your Body Is Actually Trying to Tell You Remember: the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

AI subscriptions are becoming as essential as internet bills - and just as expensive. The vBrownBag gang takes a hard look at the real cost of LLMs and what happens when the free ride ends. Chris, Shala, and Damian dig into the Anthropic pricing plot twist, why AI data centers consume 10x the power of traditional racks, the DeepSeek distillation controversy, and what happens when the first hit's free phase ends. You'll learn practical strategies for reducing token burn, why local models are becoming a viable cost escape hatch, how to pick the right model for the right job, and why blindly using Opus for everything is lighting money on fire. This is the unfiltered conversation every AI practitioner needs to have - before the subsidies disappear and the real bills arrive. Timestamps 0:00 Cold Open: Get These Darn Kids Off My Lawn 1:27 Chris's Big News: Leaving IBM for Six Feet Up 8:09 How Many AI Subscriptions Do You Have? 16:41 Stack Overflow Is Dead, Long Live Claude 17:12 Don't Just Blindly Copy and Paste (AI Edition) 31:00 Anthropic Gross Margin 2025: Negative 53% 35:30 When Token Costs Exceed a Junior Dev's Salary 42:02 Find the Model That Fits the Job 46:11 AI Multitasking Is a Lie (Just Like Humans) 49:05 We Are Uniquely Bad at Making Money Off This Show 53:19 Supply Chain Attacks and GitHub Actions 54:45 Did We Solve Anything? Yes. No. Maybe. 55:58 Grateful for Friends & Wrapping Up Links from the show:

The war between Rosie and Kelsey rages on at trivia night, when Kelsey arrives wearing a Miss Slam Pig sash and the women end up in another screaming match…leaving Ashley mortified and in tears. Lauren takes us into the mind of Ashley during the trivia night, which Ben claims is even wilder than the original Kelsey/Rosie blowup!Plus, Liz and Alicia’s argument reaches a breaking point that brings on the tears!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The guys discuss how a defective port-a-potty will ruin your sex life, when having “special socks”  makes playing left field for the Mets at 50+ a possibility, and why having sex with your neighbor 72 times almost always results in a lawsuit. 

The Art of Communication: Finding Your Voice as a CoachJP Nerbun sits down with co-host Betsy Butterick to explore how intentional communication transforms athlete relationships, team culture, and coaching identity.TOC 3-2-1: 3 Quotes, 2 Questions, 1 Resource3 Quotes Worth Writing Down"Anytime someone says 'that's just who I am,' what immediately comes up for me is — no, that's who you've been. You get to choose who you get to be in the next moment." — Betsy Butterick"If we hope to teach them, we first need to reach them. It is arguably much easier for one person — the coach — to shift how they communicate than it is to try to change an entire generation." — Betsy Butterick"When you speak quietly, people need to come closer, lean in. That was exactly the space I wanted to coach athletes in." — Betsy Butterick2 Questions for Your TeamWhen you communicate with your athletes before a big moment, are you trying to inspire them — or genuinely educate and invite them into something? What's the difference for your team?Are there phrases or habits in your coaching communication that fall under "that's just who I am"? What would it look like to ask instead: Is this who I want to be?1 Resource to Go DeeperKids These Days by Betsy Butterick — the practical communication guide for coaches working with today's athletes. Packed with immediately usable frameworks, real-world stories, and a resource section built to last.Visit: betsybutterick.comKey TakeawaysCommunication is a craft, not a personality trait. Betsy's communication didn't come from natural talent — it came from decades of intentional reps: journaling, coaching thousands of young athletes, and a relentless curiosity about language. The implication for every coach: this is buildable.Inspiring a room and inviting athletes in are not the same thing. Betsy's goal is never to inspire — it's to educate. But the best teaching carries emotional charge, and the question you ask after a lesson is what bridges information to behavior change. Don't just tell them. Ask them what they got from it.Yelling is a tool — use it like one. In a decade of coaching, Betsy raised her voice about seven times — and believes every player could still tell you exactly why. Coaches who rarely yell make every raised voice meaningful. Coaches who yell constantly give athletes nothing to read."That's just who I am" is a pattern, not an identity. When coaches or athletes use that phrase, it closes the door on growth. The reframe Betsy offers: that's who you've been — not who you have to be. Adapting your communication style isn't lowering your standards; it's what makes holding high standards possible.Accountability requires co-creation, not just enforcement. Most accountability conversations fail because expectations were never truly shared — they were just announced. When athletes help build the standard, they're far more likely to hold each other to it. Peer accountability only works after shared understanding exists.Action Items for Leaders and CoachesAudit Your Volume: Track how often you raise your voice this week. Is it a tool — or a habit you haven't examined?End With a Question: After your next team talk, close with one question that invites athletes to reflect on what they just heard.Spot the Pattern: Notice when you or your athletes say "that's just who I am." Replace it with: "That's who I've been — is it who I want to be?"Co-Create One Standard: Pick one expectation you've been enforcing alone. Build shared understanding around it with your athletes this week.ConnectGet episode notes and team culture tools: tocculture.comJoin the TOC Coach community (free): tocculture.comBetsy Butterick — blog, book, and resources: betsybutterick.comIf this episode was helpful, share it with a coach in your life who is working on their communication. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you never miss an episode of the Coaching Culture Podcast.

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, my guest is Dr. Justin Coulson, an Australian parenting expert and father of 6 who has his PhD in psychology and is the author of 10 books on parenting and the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie. We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!And if you love the podcast, FREE ways to help us out:1- Rate and review the podcast in your podcast player app2- “Like” this post by tapping the heart icon ♥️3- Share this with a friend. THANK YOU!We talk about:* 1:45 – Introduction to Dr. Justin Coulson and his personal parenting turning pointHow struggles with anger and discipline led him to rethink everything and study psychology.* 08:20 – Learning to regulate ourselves, practicing repair, and growing over time.* 15:50 – Why peaceful parenting starts with the parent's self-awareness and regulation.* 19:50 – Understanding behavior through compassion and curiosity.* 20:50 – The HALTS frameworkHow hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness, and stress impact children's behavior.* 23:00 – Self-determination theory and parenting* 33:00 – The 3 E's of Effective Discipline* 41:50 – How to use the 3 E's in everyday parenting moments.Real-life examples: screens, sibling conflict & collaboration* 49:00 – Building trust and the “goodwill bank” with kidsWhy collaborative parenting pays off when tough limits are needed.* 53:30 – Advice to his younger parenting self: “soft eyes”A powerful reflection on kindness, connection, and showing up with compassion.* 56:30 – Where to find Dr. Justin CoulsonHis podcast, books, and upcoming work on boys and healthy masculinity.Resources mentioned in this episode:* Dr. Justin's website and podcast* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Evelyn & Bobbie brasConnect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HERESarah: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Dr. Justin Coulson. He's an Australian parenting expert with a PhD in psychology, the author of 10 books on parenting, the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie, the father of six children, and, last but not least, grandfather of one.We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline, which I just loved.If you like this episode, please share it with a friend so more parents can learn about peaceful parenting. If you're a fan of the podcast, you can help us out not only by sharing it, but by leaving a review and a five-star rating in your podcast player app. While you're there, don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss an episode.If you'd like to support us even more, you can become a supporter on Substack to help us offset the cost of making the show. We'll put a link in the show notes.Let's meet Dr. Justin. I hope you enjoy this conversation and get as much out of his insights as I did.Sarah: Hello, Dr. Justin, and welcome to the podcast.Dr. Justin: Sarah, I'm so glad to be with you. Thanks for having me on.Sarah: Yeah, and it's morning for you, evening for me—nice—and I'm just glad that we could make this time to talk to each other. I really appreciate it. Thank you. So, could you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?Dr. Justin: Sure. I grew up on the east coast of Australia, about an hour north of Sydney. Geographically, that kind of locates where I was. I was the teenage boy that every parent hopes they will not have. I don't think I was a particularly bad kid, but I certainly wasn't a good kid.My parents were spending a small fortune—I'm a 1975 baby, I turned 50 last year—but this was in the late '80s and early '90s. My parents were spending so much money to send me to a private school. Because we were on the coast—a very quintessentially Australian thing—I was wagging school.Do you say “wagging school” in Canada? Is that a term Canadians use?Sarah: No, but I think we get the context. I think it means not going to school.Dr. Justin: Yeah, I was truant. They thought I was there, but I wasn't.Sarah: We say skipping.Dr. Justin: I was skipping school. Okay, yeah. We call it a school wag.So I would go to school in the morning and get my name marked off in roll call. Then I would sneak out of the school. Across the road from the school, there were bushes—kind of a forest, or whatever you might call it in Canada and America. I would get changed out of my tie, long pants, and black school shoes, throw on some board shorts and a T-shirt.My surfboard was stashed in the bush, and I'd grab it from the hiding place. Then I'd jump on a bus, go to the beach, and surf all day. Afterward, I'd get a bus back to school in the afternoon, change back into my uniform, and race into the school just in time to get my name marked off, looking like I'd been at school all day.This was in the days before schools communicated with parents via email and text, because none of that existed. I was able to get away with it.So I finished high school. I scored in the bottom 15%—Sarah: Goodness.Dr. Justin: Not just my class, but of the entire state of New South Wales. My parents were devastated.I didn't care. I wanted to have a media career. I wanted to be a radio announcer. So I got into radio. If you've ever listened to the radio—and no offense to radio people—you know you don't have to do well at school to be good at radio. You just have to be able to sit on the microphone and say things that make sense.I knew I could do that, so school didn't matter to me. I didn't care about it. That's what I did.But this is where it intersects with parenting.About 10 years into my radio career, my wife and I were having some challenges, particularly around my parenting. We had a threenager and a newborn baby.That three-year-old—I had always held the opinion that my children would do as they were told, and if they didn't, I would make sure they understood that I was the father and that their job was to do as I said.So I was very punitive. I basically made all of the parenting mistakes you can imagine when I would get angry, frustrated, and ill-tempered. It's not that I was a bad father—I spent a lot of high-quality time loving my kids—but I was also really short-fused and highly aggressive.Frankly, I went from threatening to hitting really fast. You call it spanking; we would call it smacking. I was very, very quick to smack or spank my three-year-old, and it wasn't working.After one particularly bad incident where things escalated, I really did lose control. I didn't just spank her once. There were multiple spankings. This was like a 10-minute escalation session where it just got worse and worse and worse.My wife was out at the time. When she came home, I said to Kylie, “I'm a bad father. I'm not doing this well. I'm making a lot of mistakes, and here's what happened while you were out.”Full confession: Kylie has always been this wonderfully supportive wife—very kind, gentle, compassionate, soft-spoken, thoughtful, considerate, empathic—all of those beautiful attributes that I prize and treasure in my good wife.She was none of those things that day.She had fire in her eyes and said, “You are not living up to the father that I hoped you would be, and you're also not living up to the husband I need you to be.”And it took me back, because I was already feeling downcast. I felt like I was failing anyway, and she just—it was like she picked up a great big lump of wood and whacked me over the head with it and said, “No.”Of course, she didn't actually do that, but that's how it felt. It felt physical. Visceral. Like, Ow. This is serious.I left my radio career shortly thereafter.I was working at one of the biggest radio stations in Australia at the time, and I gave up all the backstage passes with global superstars and hanging out with record company executives at the best restaurants, eating their food so they could bribe me to play their music on the radio station. I went back to school.I became a full-time student. I worked part-time at three different jobs while studying full-time. I'd sleep under the desk at university so I could do the study and the work—Sarah: No surfing this time?Dr. Justin: No surfing this time, no. I was just so committed to it.After eight and a half years of full-time study, I graduated with a doctorate. I had to do a couple of other qualifications first, including a psychological science degree. I graduated with a doctorate in psychology and became a university lecturer.Along the way, Sarah, we went from having our two kids at that point to having our third child in my first year of study, our fourth child in my fifth year of study, and our fifth child while I was doing my doctorate. Shortly after I left the university setting, stopped lecturing, and started writing books and giving talks, we had our sixth child.So we're the parents—Sarah: Amazing.Dr. Justin: —of six daughters. Today, they range in age from 12—the youngest—to the oldest, who is in her mid-to-late 20s. She and her husband have a baby now. They've been married for a few years.Sarah: Wow. You're a grandpa.Dr. Justin: A grand—I'm a grandpa. We have a two-and-a-half-year-old grandbaby, four adult children, one in her teens, and a 12-year-old.So that's kind of my very short version of the journey.Along the way, I've written a bunch of books. We've got a TV show in Australia called Parental Guidance. We've had three seasons of that show on primetime TV. I've got a website and all the things that you'd expect—a podcast and so on.Sarah: What did you do when you had that aha moment—that realization that you weren't being the kind of dad you wanted to be, and your wife also agreed that you weren't being the kind of dad she wanted you to be? What did you change?Because you just mentioned that you spent eight and a half years going back to school. I imagine that you made some changes before you had six kids. So what did you do right away, maybe for anyone listening who can relate to those feelings of rage and feeling triggered by your child?Dr. Justin: Sarah, the first thing I'd say is that there was no linear change, and there were no immediate changes, because I didn't know what to do.I was unskilled. I was uneducated. I didn't know anything about psychology, and I clearly didn't know anything about parenting.But I found a mentor. I have a faith background, and there was a writer who wrote eloquently and compassionately. I just felt like he understood me, and he became a mentor to me.I also discovered a guy called Alfie Kohn. You might be familiar with Alfie Kohn.Sarah: Oh, Alfie Kohn was the first thing I ever read about parenting—Dr. Justin: Oh, great.Sarah: —before I even had kids. And he was on the podcast last year, which felt like a full-circle moment between how influential—I told him on the podcast, “You have probably had the biggest influence on me—not only in my parenting, but in my life's direction—of any single person out there.”So, sorry, fan-girl moment. I'm right there with you with Alfie Kohn.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I've gotten to know Alfie over the years as my academic career advanced and I began to understand where he took his research from.I read his book Punished by Rewards—I think it was a 1993—Sarah: That was my first one too.Dr. Justin: Yeah, it's a 1993 publication or something.Sarah, it was just so influential.What happened was, I was doing my university degree and learning things, and honestly, I'd be sitting there thinking, Hang on, the things they're teaching me in these university courses seem to clash with what Alfie Kohn taught me in Punished by Rewards.So I spent a lot of time in the notes section at the back—you know, all the references nobody ever reads?Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: As I went through them, I discovered researchers named Edward Deci and Richard Ryan from the University of Rochester in upstate New York.They had developed a theory known as self-determination theory.A large portion of Alfie Kohn's work is based on self-determination theory.So I really dug deep into that. I still love Alfie, but I moved very much into the academic side because I became a university lecturer and really got into the nitty-gritty of understanding the deepest depths of what self-determination theory is all about. That has become the foundation of the work that I do.And to your question: nothing is linear when you are trying to make improvements.Whether you're trying to change your diet, exercise, get your finances in order, or improve your relationships, you have insights. You have moments where you think, Oh my goodness, this is what I need to do. I need to show up with warmth on my face and soft eyes.And then three hours later, one of your children does something, and you forget what soft eyes look and feel like. You look at them with hard eyes, frustration in your voice, and short, clipped sentences.Then half an hour later, you think, Oh, self-awareness. I missed that.So it's this gradual process: two steps forward, one step back. Three steps forward, one step back. Four steps forward, three steps back. Eight steps forward, no steps back.Over the years, I had this beautiful experience—and maybe you've had a similar experience in your family as you've raised your kids.We were maybe in my third or fourth year of study. My wife has an early childhood background. She knows child development. She knows what kids need.She was a little skeptical about a lot of the things I was starting to talk about and discover as I went through university and got into the depths of what the research meant—comparing and contrasting it with what was mainstream, but actually not always quite right.We had some tension around how we should respond to the children. I was moving away from that authoritarian bent and developing ideas around exploring their world more.One night, I came home from university a little late. It was probably around 9:00 p.m. Our three children were still awake.As I drove into the driveway, all the lights in the house were on. The windows were open. Looking through the living room window, I could tell the house was—to put it politely—a mess.And as I stepped into the house, the kids—it was just awful.I walked over to Kylie and said, “Honey, it looks like it's been a pretty tough day.”I was trying to be compassionate and empathic. I was really trying to do what psychology says is the right thing to do.Kylie looked at me without hesitation and said, “Don't give me any of that psychology crap. I've had the worst day in the world.”Then she stormed out and said, “You fix it,” and walked into the bedroom and closed the door.Again, this is not how my wife usually is, but it had been a really rough day. The kids were feral. The house was a mess.I looked at my priorities. I sat down with the child who was struggling the most and worked with her for two or three minutes. She calmed down, I gave her a little food, and put her to bed.Within about 20 minutes, I had all three kids in bed, and I was so proud of myself.I stepped into the kitchen and started tidying up. I thought, I'll just give Kylie some space.After another 30 or 40 minutes of tidying, I stepped into the living room and said, “Honey, I know you're really upset. It's been a pretty tough day. I wasn't trying to be judgy or anything.”And she said, “It's fine for you. You're not dealing with it all day. You walk in and think you can just snap your fingers and everything's fine.”Then she looked at me and said, “But tonight, you walked in and it feels like you snapped your fingers and everything's fine.”And we had this beautiful conversation where she said, “I've been resenting the things you've been trying to tell me because it felt like you were telling me I was wrong.“But I've been watching, and I'm actually seeing that the things you're doing are working, and our family is feeling better.”It took four or five years to get there, Sarah.It's not like I had this epiphany—I'm a bad father, I need to change—and suddenly I was a good dad.There were many embarrassing, shameful moments after that epiphany where I still made terrible decisions and treated the children badly.Even today, I still lose my temper, say things I shouldn't, and get frustrated, because kids are kids and we're fallible humans.But we call parenting parenting because it's about us. If it were about children, we'd call it childrening.Which sounds silly, right?Dr. Justin: But what I've really discovered is that if I can learn how to regulate myself—high emotions equal low intelligence—then I can regulate my emotions, turn them up or down appropriately for the context, and keep them in harmony with my long-term goals, which are to have loving, kind relationships with my children.If I can do that, I'm going to approach them with a tremendously different focus than I will if I'm looking for a short-term fix.And that is something—Anger is a habit. Yelling is a habit. Time-out is a habit. Reward charts are a habit.We can create other habits. We just have to understand the processes and principles behind those habits and then practice them, like we practice a song on the piano, until we finally get it right.Sarah: I love that.So you and Kylie really had a journey—a back-and-forth dance of your own processes and your own development.I do love how you say it's really about us. Whenever I'm working with clients, after a couple of sessions they'll say, “You know what? This isn't even about my kid. This is just about me.”Dr. Justin: Yes. Yes.Sarah: Nobody wants to believe that at first, because it's so much easier to think, I've just got to change them and what they're doing.But it's really all about what we're bringing to the moment and what we're bringing to the relationship.Dr. Justin: I get in trouble sometimes for being overly provocative and saying things that are insensitive, so a quick warning:I want to say what I'm about to say with all the compassion in the world and all the tenderness and care in the world, because I work with people every single day who are dealing with exactly the struggles you're talking about.I want to step into the world of neurodiversity—ADHD, autism, trauma—those kinds of areas.What we're talking about applies there as well. It's just harder.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But ultimately, if I'm raising an ADHD child or a child who's been through a traumatic experience, once again, parenting is not about them. It's about how I show up for them.So I can say, “Well, my child's like that,” or, “I'm like this because of the diagnosis,” or because of the label, or because of the trauma, or because of the neural networks doing what they're doing.I can say all of those things, and many people do. It's understandable, and I have all the compassion in the world for them when they do.But the key thing I want to highlight is that in spite of all of those challenges your child might be facing—or even that you might be facing—today begins now.It begins with what you put on your face and what you think in your mind.If we can soften our features and go to our children with kindness and compassion while still holding appropriate limits—or working with them to develop appropriate limits—then what we can say is:“Yes, that bad thing happened,” or, “Yes, we are dealing with this difficulty, so what are we going to do about it?”We can fall into the I can't do anything way of thinking, which is really ineffective and doesn't help at all.Or we can step into I have this incredible thing psychologists call agency, or self-efficacy, where I can make a decision now, and if we work on it, we can actually improve things.It might be a longer, harder road. There may be more obstacles to climb over than a typical family without those challenging circumstances.It may be harder.But we can always improve.I never want to be the person who puts limits on what kids can do or what parents can do.If we change our language, change our focus, and recognize that this is a long game—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —which requires sustained effort every single day, it's extraordinary the progress we can make and the changes we can create in our home and our family.Sarah: For sure. Yeah.And unfortunately, it's a long game, right? Because I think today we always want quick answers and solutions.Really, it's just showing up every day as best you can and repairing when you don't show up the way you wish you had.And I think another really important part of it—which you were talking around a little bit—is trying to understand our child's experience and see things from their perspective.I was just talking to a client about that today:What's the most emotionally generous explanation you can come up with for their behavior?Because we don't actually know why anyone does anything, since we're not in their brain.But we often jump to, They're being rude on purpose, or They're trying to annoy me.Really, if we can think, Well, I don't know why they're doing this, but there's probably a reason, because kids want to be good. They want to be connected with us.And just reminding ourselves that they're not giving us a hard time—they're having a hard time.That actually makes it easier, I think, to show up as your best, most compassionate self—with, as you say, soft eyes and warm features.Dr. Justin: Yeah.No child wakes up in the morning thinking, Today's the day. I'm just going to ruin everything.This is the perfect opportunity. My parents are tired and frazzled. There's a cost-of-living crisis. There are all these challenges happening, and if ever there was a moment—it's now. I'm going to do it today.They don't wake up thinking that.Like you said—and you said it so perfectly—kids really do want to please us.I know some parents listening to me say that right now are thinking, No, no. My child does not want to please me.And so the question becomes: Why? Why are they struggling?And maybe this is a nice way for me to bring in some of the principles I learned as I went deeper into self-determination theory.There are a couple of times when children are almost guaranteed to be challenging, and this has nothing to do with self-determination theory. This is just general psychology and wellbeing.I always think of Germany. A police officer tells you to stop, but they don't say the word stop because they're German.In German, the word for stop is halt—H-A-L-T.So we add an S to the end, and the acronym becomes:Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Stressed.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Those are the five times when you can all but guarantee your children are not going to be doing well.If they are hungry, get some food into them—ideally a little protein, because it's satiating and helps them feel full quickly.If they're angry, then we've got to remember: high emotions equal low intelligence.You can't think straight in a high emotional state.So our job is to get curious, not furious, because if we fight fire with fire, we end up with a scorched-earth policy and everything gets burned.Dr. Justin: Lonely.I could be sitting right next to you, Sarah, and feel disconnected and lonely—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —even if we were very close.Our children are sometimes literally sitting at our kitchen bench, and they feel alone. They feel a little lost. Because of the way we're responding to them—with hard commands, correction, and direction rather than connection—they feel lonely.Tired.I don't even need to explain that.Even as adults, I don't know any couple who, at the end of witching hour—or whatever you might call it in North America, that 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. stretch when the kids—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —are just oof…It's the end of that period, and you're exhausted, the kids are exhausted, and you look at your husband or wife and say, “You know what? We are so tired. We're shattered. But boy, are we nailing it tonight.”Nobody ever says that when they're tired—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —because you're not nailing it. You're just hanging in there.And it's the same with kids.Then the S is for stressed, and that includes sickness, because sickness is a stress on the body as well.Those five indicators are going to let you know when your child is likely to be challenging, and I think they're really good to watch out for.But if we go a little deeper and talk about self-determination theory, it says that each of us has these needs.You have them, Sarah, and I have them, and our children have them—even your mother-in-law has them.We have three basic psychological needs.When we're in environments where those needs are supported, oh my goodness, we thrive. These are environments we're drawn to and attracted to. We approach them with a smile on our face and can't wait to be there.But if the environment is what researchers call need-thwarting or need-frustrating—meaning it frustrates and thwarts those needs—then we avoid it.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Or, if we're in those environments, we act in ways that are challenging.So the basic psychological needs are:Number one: a sense of relationship, or relatedness. That's the technical term they use.Relatedness is a sense of mutual belonging.Sarah: So would it be similar to mattering? Like you feel like you matter to somebody?Dr. Justin: Yeah. There's been a lot of talk recently about mattering.But it's reciprocal mattering. It's not just one-way.It's I matter to you, but you matter to me.Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Let me use Mother's Day as an example.We just had Mother's Day in Australia at the start of May.If I've got a great relationship with my mother-in-law, and it's Mother's Day, I'm probably going to spend the morning with my wife and family while my children celebrate their mum. Then maybe at lunchtime, we head over to the in-laws to celebrate my wife's mum.If I feel like that relationship need is supported at my mother-in-law's—meaning there's mutual belonging, I matter to her, she matters to me, we enjoy one another's company, and it feels good—I'm going to say:“Great. Let's get in the car. Let's go. What do we need to do?”But if I'm going to a need-frustrating environment—if there's tension, antagonism, snide remarks, eye rolls, silence, defensiveness, or wounds from bad things that happened in the past—that environment doesn't feel good to me.So I'm going to say to Kylie:“Honey, why don't you take the kids to your mum's? Have a great lunch. We've made a big mess this morning, and I think the best thing I can do for your Mother's Day”—and I'll frame it nicely, of course—“is stay home, tidy the house, clean up the kitchen, get everything ready, and put dinner on for tonight so you can have your perfect Mother's Day dinner. I'll see you in four hours.”And then I send her out the door.Why?Because my in-laws' home has become a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment. I just don't want to be there.And if I am there, I'm going to be sullen and sulky. I might try my best for half an hour and then say, “Oh, this is too hard,” and retreat—Sarah: Or text. The adult version of misbehavior.Dr. Justin: Yes, exactly. Exactly.But if I'm a child in a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment, I'm going to get into fights with the kids I don't like.Or I'm going to say, “I don't want to go to school because everyone picks on me because I don't regulate my behavior properly because I've got ADHD.”Right?So school becomes a place I don't want to go.Or maybe you have a faith background and your child doesn't have any friends at church.Or you've signed them up for soccer, but they don't know anyone on the team.And they're saying, “Yeah, but I don't want to go.”It all comes down to relationship.Relationship is the basic psychological need that's being thwarted.Now, the second basic psychological need is competence.Competence, I would describe as feeling like I can do the thing I'm being asked to do.Sarah: Or that I want to do.Dr. Justin: Yeah. We'll get to want to in just a second, because want-to is the third basic psychological need—autonomy.So stay with me on competence for a second.Competence is capability. Capacity.It's not even necessarily about being able to do something—it's about feeling like you're making progress toward the goal.Let's say I'm joining acrobatics and trying to learn how to do a handstand.That's really tricky. It's a tough skill.If I show up every week to acrobatics, even if I've got great friends there—so my relationship need is supported—and I love my coach, but every time I try to do a handstand my shoulders buckle, my elbows aren't straight, my form is wrong, I fall over, or I can't stay up…After four or five or six weeks, I'm going to say:“I don't like this anymore. I'm out.”I had a daughter who wanted to come cycling with me.I'm a really keen cyclist. I ride on the road. I'm a middle-aged man in Lycra.But I also ride on the velodrome.You've seen those velodrome bikes at the Olympics—the indoor track where they go around and around and around.You might have noticed that after they finish the race, they keep pedaling and do another 10 laps.The reason is twofold.Number one: there are no brakes on those bikes.And second: they use what's called a fixed gear, meaning that when the wheels are spinning, the pedals are spinning.If you stop pedaling, you're going to get thrown over the handlebars because the wheels are still moving, which means the pedals are still moving, even if you try to stop them.So you just have to keep riding until the bike slows down.My daughter wanted to come to Friday night velodrome racing with me.We didn't have the money, but we spent all this cash on a bike, the Lycra, the helmet, the special shoes—it cost a lot, and I was a poor university student.But my daughter wanted to cycle with me, and I wasn't going to miss that opportunity. So we sacrificed and made it happen.Unfortunately, she was competing against girls who had been riding for four, five, or six years.For the first few weeks, she gave it a good go, but she was losing by several laps every race.After about a month, she said:“Dad, I don't want to do this anymore.”And my response was:“But I've spent all this money.”But what was really going on was that as much as she liked the girls and the atmosphere, she didn't feel competent—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —and she didn't see progress.She didn't feel like she was ever going to master the activity, so her motivation and wellbeing plummeted.Cycling became a need-thwarting environment for her.Whether it's piano, violin, rock climbing, cycling, swimming, math, PE class—it doesn't matter.If your kids don't feel like they can do the thing, they're going to push back.They're going to say:“This is too hard. I don't like it.”They won't use these exact words, but what they're really saying is:“This is a need-frustrating environment for me. I don't like it. I don't want to be there.”And then they start to act out.My mom got to the stage with me as a 13-year-old boy where she was physically holding me by the arm and dragging me into my piano lessons.Dr. Justin: Which brings me to my third and final basic psychological need, which is autonomy.A lot of people hear the word autonomy and think it means freedom—that kids can do whatever they want. They think it means independence.That's not what autonomy means, certainly not in the strict scientific form we're talking about within this theory.Rather, autonomy comes down to identifying the value of an activity and therefore endorsing the actions required to do the activity.See, if I, as a 12-year-old, looked at piano and thought:This is going to be a lifelong skill that will bring me joy, that I'll be able to share with others, that I can use in service of my family and community. If I can play piano or keyboard, I could be in a band. I could do all of these things.If I identified the value in the activity, then I would endorse the work required to learn it.So autonomy is not about freedom and independence. It's about choice based on values.That's a lot when you're thinking about three-, four-, and five-year-olds, but not necessarily—Sarah: No, I love that.We talk about that all the time in my communities—how important it is for kids to have autonomy.And I think you can have autonomy even when kids can't be independent, right?Because you can't have a four-year-old who's independent, but you can have a four-year-old who can make decisions that matter.Dr. Justin: Yes, yes.And that decision goes well beyond, Do you want to wear the blue suit or the green one?Sarah: I'll quote our friend Alfie Kohn. He says, “Kids should have the ability to make decisions that make adults gulp a little bit.”Dr. Justin: I love it. Yes. Beautiful.Let me give an adult version of this, and then I'll swing it back into childhood, because sometimes parents hear this and think, This isn't quite computing for me.In Canada, you drive on the right-hand side of the road.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And it's true that if you choose to drive on the left-hand side of the road, the authorities will probably get involved. You may cause harm to somebody. You could even end up in prison.But even in the middle of the night, when nobody's on the road, I can't imagine there are too many Canadians who get in the car and think:Tonight's the night. Nobody's watching. I'm gonna drive on the left.You are being absolutely controlled by the government and by the law. You're driving on the right-hand side of the road.But because you identify the value in driving on the right-hand side of the road, nobody has to compel you to do it.You just do it because you endorse the idea that driving on the right is safer. It's what you need to do.So our job with our children is twofold.First, when it comes to these basic psychological needs, we want to help them be in environments—or create environments—where those needs are supported.We want to send them to a school where they have good relationships, where somebody says, “Hey, come sit with us,” where teachers know them by name and smile when they see them and are excited to support them.A school where they're able to experience progress—which might mean less emphasis on grades and more emphasis on developing capability.And a school where they feel like they have some say in where they're going and what they're doing.Rather than being forced to attend a school like I was when I was a teenager, they get to say:“No, I want to go to that school because that's where my friends are.”Or:“That's where the teachers help me feel good.”Or:“That's where my interests lie.”That's the basic psychological-needs concept.Now let's bring that into discipline, which is what started this whole conversation.Based on this theory—and I guess it ties back to a lot of what Alfie Kohn has said as well—I developed a little model that's really easy to memorize and even easier to enact.I call it the Three E's of Effective Discipline.The Three E's of Effective Discipline are need-supportive.If you look at the root of the word discipline, it comes from the idea that we teach, guide, and instruct—that we show the way to follow.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But if you look at the modern definition of discipline, the modern definition is punish.Punish means exact retribution. It means hurt. It means make someone pay a price.Sarah: Make people feel bad on purpose.Dr. Justin: Yeah. That's exactly right.And I'm interested in disciplining our kids, not punishing our kids.Punishment is need-thwarting, right?If you make someone feel bad on purpose, there goes the relationship. They feel incompetent, and you've taken away their autonomy.So standard discipline strategies—whether it's time-out, spanking, yelling, withdrawing privileges, taking away the iPad, bribery—all of those standard discipline practices trample over basic psychological needs.We've got to come up with something better.So I developed the Three E's of Effective Discipline, which are basically this:On a beautiful bed of empathy, we explore, we explain, and we empower.Sarah: Ooh, I love that.Dr. Justin: Explore basically means I sit down with my child at an appropriate time.Because we always try to fix things right here, right now.Sometimes we need to, but often intervention simply to make sure people and property aren't hurt—that's all you need.Then you can say to your child:“We'll have a chat about this later when nobody's got a head full of steam.”Kick it down the road.You don't have to fix things right here, right now. Most of the time, it's just not necessary.So once everyone is calm, you explore.You say:“Hey, I've noticed there's been a lot of tension in our home lately between you and your brother.”Or:“Have you noticed that for the last few weeks we've had so much conflict about screens?”And your child says, “Yeah.”And you say:“I just want to listen because parenting's about parents, right? I must be getting something wrong here. Can you help me understand what I'm missing? Where am I going wrong? What's the real problem from your perspective?”Now, there are three things that make this better.Number one: never do it with an audience.Kids always want to save face. They don't feel competent when we start these conversations in front of other people.Number two: have some treats.Because once you're feeding them, they're like:“Oh, I'm not in trouble. We're just chatting, and there are cookies,” or a thick shake, or something like that.And number three: take notes.When you're trying to solve problems—and that's really what discipline is—The Three E's of Effective Discipline are about problem-solving.Discipline—meaning helping, teaching, guiding, instructing—is really about solving problems.So if I want to solve problems effectively in my home—if I want to discipline my children well—I'm trying to say:“Where are you coming from? What am I missing?”When you take notes on what your kids are saying, it's amazing how much information they give you because they realize:You're really listening to me.Sarah: Yeah. You're taking me seriously. You're writing down what I say.Dr. Justin: They're blown away by it.So they'll tell you a bunch of stuff.Now, every now and then they won't. Sometimes they'll shrug and say, “I don't know.”And you can say:“Well, if you don't know, that's fine. But if you did know…”This drives kids crazy, but it's my favorite sentence.“If you did know, what do you think the answer would be?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And they roll their eyes.“Well, I don't know. That's what I said. If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't know.”And I say:“I know you don't know, and I understand that if you did know, you would tell me. But if you did know, what would you tell me?”Sarah: I love that.Dr. Justin: They get this feeling—it's like this horrible psychological trick where:I don't know the answer, but if I had to come up with one, I guess I'd say this…And now the conversation starts.You get momentum.Sarah: You Jedi mind-trick them.Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's beautiful.And you write it down.At no point are you allowed to interrupt.At no point are you allowed to tell them they're wrong.At no point are you allowed to respond with your adult wisdom.You just listen.Sarah: Okay, and we're still on explore?Still on the first E?Dr. Justin: We're still on the first E.You make all these notes, and once it sounds like they've told you everything, you say:“All right. So what you're telling me is…”And then you read the notes back.This is the oldest psychological strategy in the book—I'm not saying anything new here.If they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you say:“All right. Great. I've got it.”If they say no, then you say:“Oh, what have I missed? How did I get this wrong? Clarify it for me.”And they give you more information.But there's a really valuable question at the end.When they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you ask:“Fantastic. Is there anything else?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: The power of asking that extra question is profound.It forces them to go deeper.Sometimes they'll say, “No, that's it.”But often, their first answers are shallow answers to get you off their back.They're thinking:I'm telling you what I think you want to hear.But when you say:“Got it. You're happy with this answer? Fantastic. Is there anything else going on?”That's when they look at you and think:Oh—you're actually serious about this. You really care.Sarah: And you're really listening to me.Dr. Justin: Yeah.And it's profound what children will give you after you ask, “Is there anything else?”Once you've got everything written down, confirmed, and you're clear, the next step is explain.Dr. Justin: Now, there are a couple of things around explain.Explain is basically the part where you tell them what they need to know. This is the parent bit.But all too often, we step into lecturing, and the kids fall asleep. They're like, “Oh, here we go again. I thought this was going to be different, but it's no different after all.”So there are a couple of things we need to get right here.Number one: if you're going to explain anything to your children, my recommendation is that you keep it to less than 20 seconds.Now, there's no science around this. This is just my experience in talking with parents and kids in my own family. I find that if you talk for more than 10 to 20 seconds, kids really do tune out, and it goes back to the way things have always been.The second thing is that I always ask permission.“Now that I've listened to you, Sarah, there are just one or two things I'd love to run by you about what's going on. Do you mind if I do that?”I want to make this absolutely clear: as a parent, you do not need your child's permission to tell them things. I really, absolutely, honestly believe that. As the parent, you have the right to tell them stuff they need to know.But this isn't about rights. This is about effectiveness.If I launch into, “Well, Sarah, now that I've listened to that, I get it, but I need to tell you these two things,” I'm already bringing defensiveness back into the relationship.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Barriers are coming up.Whereas if I say, “Sarah, this is so helpful. As I've listened to you, two things have come to mind. Do you mind if I share both of those with you?” Your instant response, even as I say it—I'm watching your face—Sarah: I'm nodding.Dr. Justin: And you're going—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I actually want to know.You're opening up your heart and mind to me, and we're just role-playing this.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And that's what our kids do. They're like, “Oh, okay.” Because we've given them the courtesy of listening—Sarah: Well, and you're not trying to use your power over them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.This is a non-coercive, really supportive conversation.And I still haven't had this happen. A lot of parents will say, “Well, what happens if they say no?”And I'm like, “I've raised six kids, and they've never actually looked at me and said, ‘Now that I think about it, no, I don't need to know anything that you…'”They've just never done it.But even if they did—Sarah: Well, if they do, it's probably that they're—what did you say? When emotions are high, intelligence is low. Maybe it wasn't the right time to have the conversation.If they're saying no, then they're probably still angry and holding onto whatever was going on for them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.But if they're that angry, they're probably not going to have explored nicely with you anyway.Sarah: Yes, exactly. So pick—Dr. Justin: A different time.You're probably not even going to—Sarah: Get to that point. Yeah.Dr. Justin: So it's very much: keep it really short, ask permission, and then share.Sarah: Okay. So give me examples.You said, “We've been fighting about screens,” was one example. You also gave the example of, “You've been fighting a lot with your brother.”So in the explain—10 to 20 seconds—choose one of those scenarios. After hearing your child, what would you say in that 10 to 20 seconds?Dr. Justin: I did this just the other day with my 16-year-old daughter, Lily, who is on social media more than she should be. There's been some tension and conflict.I listened. She shared some ideas, and I said, “There are just a couple of things I want to run by you. Is that okay?”She said, “Sure, Dad.”I said, “Great. There are certain times when we're trying to connect or have family time, and there are certain contexts where you're on your device and we just can't reach you.”She looked at me and said, “Yeah, I know.”I said, “Okay. The second thing I want to highlight is that we've noticed you're sleeping in because, even though you're not supposed to, you've been taking your phone into your bedroom at night and staying up late scrolling. Unless I'm reading it wrong, I'm pretty sure that's what's been happening.”And she said, “No, I have been, Dad. You're right.”So it's just two really succinct sentences where I'm stating what I'm seeing. I'm sharing my experience.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: If it were the sibling fighting, I'd say, “Yeah, your brother is really annoying. I get what's going on. Sometimes I wish he didn't live in our house as well.”I might have a joke with them about the challenge associated with that.And then I might say, “So when this happens, can I just share how it feels for me? It breaks my heart. I love both of you so very much, and my dream is for our family to enjoy being in one another's company and to look forward to conversations and jokes and doing the things we do. When this stuff is going on, it feels like that's a pipe dream.“And secondly, psychologically—you know I've got this PhD in psychology—I know that there's damage being done to the way your brother feels about himself. That's what I'm worried about.”So I've had both of those little conversations on two different topics, sharing two different things, and both were about 10 seconds each.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Again, it's conversational. It's not lecture-style.Sarah: And it's from the heart.I can feel it, even though this is just an example you're giving. I can feel that it's from your heart—that you're really being open and sharing with your child what your true concerns are.You're not trying to power over or control. You're really sharing a heartfelt sentiment.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Thank you. That's the goal.You won't always do that, but that's the goal.The reason there's a problem is because your values are not being upheld in the home, and you're trying to communicate that in a way that shows you honor them and that they've got a brain.Now, we've used two really grown-up versions—or teenage versions, I guess. But you can have the same conversations with three- and four-year-olds. It's just shorter. It's simpler.Usually, with those conversations, in a pretty tight timeframe—60 to 90 seconds—you've done the whole process.There is a higher-order—Sarah: Okay, so what's the third part?Dr. Justin: Just before I get to that one, if you really want to do the advanced version of explain, what I'll often do after I've explored with my child is say:“Okay, so this is the bit where I'd normally explain what's going on from my point of view. I wonder if you can tell me what you think I'm going to say here.”Sarah: Ah.Dr. Justin: And so I get them to explain the explain to me.The reason that's so effective is that whenever my mouth is the one that's moving, my brain is the one that's working.If I can get their mouth moving, their brain is doing the heavy lifting.Sarah: Love that.Dr. Justin: That's really, really effective.And then the last one—Sarah: Is empower.And you're also helping them see things and develop empathy, right? To see things from somebody else's perspective.Dr. Justin: Yes. Powerful.The last one is empower.That's literally as simple as saying, “Okay, so I get where you're coming from. We've had that conversation very thoroughly. You know what my challenge is here. What do you think we should do?”“Where do we go from here? How do we solve this in a way that we can both feel good about?”It's true that every now and then, your child will shrug their shoulders and say, “I don't know.”Or they'll shrug and say, “Well, we should just do what I want to do.”And as a parent, that's where you step in and say my favorite line:“Don't you just wish? Don't you just wish we could?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Because—well, let me ask you, Sarah. When I say, “Don't you just wish,” or, “Wouldn't it be good if we could?”—same thing—what have I actually said?Sarah: Total empathy. Heaps of empathy.Dr. Justin: Total empathy.But I've also said something else really clearly.Sarah: That that's not going to work.Dr. Justin: Correct. The answer is no.But it's a no with so much love, kindness, empathy, and gentleness in it—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —that your child goes, “Oh, yeah. I know.”And then you say, “So let's see if we can come up with a solution that will work.”What else might work for you when it comes to your brother?What else might work for you when it comes to the party on Friday night that I'm not willing to let you go to?What else could work when it comes to our screen challenges? Because this is an ongoing issue for us, isn't it?Every now and then, you won't get an answer right away. You'll say, “Well, let's talk about it again tonight,” or, “Let's talk about it again tomorrow once you've had some time to think about it.”But I'm big on deadlines.“We need to have this worked out by the end of the weekend, okay? I don't want to go through another week of this. We've got to find a solution. If we haven't had another chat by tomorrow night, we're going to sit down and work it out then.”And I also don't have a problem at this point—Laura Walker is a researcher at BYU in Utah, and she did a study published in the Journal of Adolescence where she found that parents who use these kinds of strategies—she's not talking about the Three E's of Effective Discipline, because that's the thing I developed, but it's based on the same sort of theory that she researches—Parents who use these kinds of strategies, even when they do have to step in and say, “All right, well, we haven't come up with a solution, so it's going to be my way,” kids are much more likely to be responsive and compliant—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —because we've been through a process with them that is not autocratic. It's not authoritarian.They've felt like they had a voice. Their perspective has been seen and heard. They've had some input.And even though they don't get what they want all the time—because we're the parents, and sometimes the fact that we've climbed 47 rungs on the ladder of life and they've only climbed 13 is all we need.Sarah: That's what I call in my work the goodwill bank.When your kids experience you as collaborative, non-coercive, and not power-tripping—when they know, over the period of their childhood, that they can trust you to take their preferences into account and be respectful of them—then when you do have to say no about something, even if they don't like it, there's this goodwill bank behind you and this level of trust.When you mentioned, “You can't go to the party on Friday,” I never had that issue with my kids because everything was so collaborative.We'd have similar conversations. I didn't have—I'm not very good at thinking of things like the Three E's—but similar kinds of processes where they'd say why they wanted to go, I'd say what my concerns were, and then they'd invariably say, “Oh, yeah, you're probably right.”It was never, “You can't go.”It was, “These are my concerns. This is what I've been thinking about.”Because they experienced that whole process over years of parenting, you don't get the pushback because they don't feel like you're power-tripping them.Dr. Justin: Yeah.Sarah, I had an experience with one of my adult children who was still living at home. I think she was maybe 19 or 20 when this happened.She wanted to go and do something, and I said to her, “You're an adult. You do get to choose for yourself whether you will do this or not, but I've got some really big concerns about you doing it.“I actually think you're putting yourself into a dangerous situation. There's some history, some volatility, and some challenges if you go and involve yourself in this particular activity. Tell me why this is so important to you.”So she walked me through it, and I said, “Okay, I get it. How do my concerns stack up against your desire to be there?”And she said, “Dad, I get what you're saying, but I want to go.”And I said, “Okay, so…”You used that beautiful term, the goodwill bank. I can't remember exactly what my words were, but I'm going to use your term right now, because I essentially said:“I'm going to use the goodwill I've built up with you over the last however many years and step in really firmly and say you're making a mistake.“As your dad, even though you're an adult, I want to forbid you to go. That's how strongly I feel about this. To the degree that I can, I forbid it.“Ultimately, you will choose because you are an adult, but I don't want you there.”Sarah: I'm going on the record.Dr. Justin: Yeah, yeah.“I need you to trust that this is a bad idea. We can come up with any number of other activities you could do instead, with different people in a different location, but this is a bad idea, and you have none of my support should you go.“If you go and something goes wrong, you call me and I'll come rescue you. But it is a bad idea, and I forbid it.”And I couldn't believe I was saying those words. I've never said them in my life, and now I was saying them to an adult.But she looked at me and said, “Okay.”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: She didn't fight me. She didn't say, “I can do what—”Sarah: No, because you built up the history with her of how she experienced you.Dr. Justin: Yeah. She was like, “Wow, this is serious. He's never said that before. If he feels that strongly, maybe he's right. Maybe I need to find an alternative.”So anyway, that's the Three E's of Effective Discipline.I feel like I've talked too much, Sarah. I wanted to be much more conversational, but I get carried away when we—Sarah: No, no. I love it.I feel like it's very complementary to the things that I teach, and you've given me some new things to teach parents as well.I love having sort of snappy—the Three E's of Discipline. I think that's great. I love it. I'll share it.Dr. Justin: Yeah, please. Absolutely.It's helped so many millions of parents.Sarah: Yeah.Well, I love that we've connected across the world—from the other side of the world to each other—and I look forward to hopefully talking to you again in March of 2027 when your book Boys comes out.I figured we were going to talk about that, but we had such a lovely conversation about peaceful parenting, discipline, and—oh my God, it's gone right out of my head—Dr. Justin: Self-determination theory.Sarah: Self-determination theory.I think it was a really great conversation, and I really appreciate you sharing all of your experience and wisdom.Dr. Justin: I loved the conversation.Like I said, it was too one-sided. I wish we'd been able to go backward and forward a bit more, but let's do it again.Let's chat again next year when the book comes out, and we'll talk about boys and how to help them.There's so much talk about toxic masculinity.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Wouldn't it be great if we could give them a view of healthy masculinity—a model of that to follow?That's what my book is all about: how we can guide boys into a healthy form of masculinity.Sarah: Well, for folks in Australia, your book is coming out in June 2026. For folks in North America, it's not coming out until spring 2027.So I will definitely be ringing you up and having you come back on to talk about the book when you've got your North American release. I know we're going to have a great conversation then.Before I let you go, though, I have a question that I ask all my podcast guests:If you had a time machine and you could go back and tell your younger parent self something, what advice would you give yourself?Dr. Justin: Jean-Jacques Rousseau said there is—I can't remember the quote exactly—but: What wisdom is there that is greater than kindness?I've paraphrased it. It's not perfect, but it's something along those lines.Interestingly, Rousseau had, I think, five children—maybe six—and he put them all into orphanages somewhere in the first 18 months of their lives so he could spend more time writing and focusing on how to be a good person, which I just find criminal. I can't believe it.So take it for what it's worth, but “What wisdom is there that's greater than kindness?” is what Rousseau said.I've mentioned this idea of soft eyes a couple of times. If I could go back, I would teach myself about kindness. I'd teach myself about many of the things we've talked about today.But I just want to quickly share the story of soft eyes.As an academic, I want everything I say to be evidence-based. There is no evidence that I'm aware of where people have done any kind of randomized controlled trial where parents are asked to interact with their children with soft eyes, neutral eyes, hard eyes, or anything like that.Soft eyes is this idea—I was giving a presentation at a public library one time, and an elderly lady stepped into the back of the room, sat down, and listened to the last 25 or 30 minutes of my presentation. She must have liked what she could hear from the corridor outside, and she stepped in to listen.After everybody had left, she walked over to me and said, “I really enjoyed what you shared. I'd love to tell you something my grandmother said to me.”So we're going back into the early 1900s.Her grandmother said, “Whenever you're talking to your children about matters of discipline, make sure you have soft eyes.”And I thought, I really like that.Because if you try to have a conversation with somebody and your eyes are soft, you just can't say mean things. You can't say harsh things. You can't have harsh thoughts.If you soften your eyes, your face softens and your heart softens. You have this beautiful compassion and kindness, this ability to see the best in them rather than the worst in them, to assume positive intent.There's something gorgeous about soft eyes.So I would go back and quote Rousseau better than I just quoted him to you, and I would tell my younger self that soft eyes will make a tremendous impact on all of my relationships.Sarah: Ah.There's an American—I don't know if you've heard of him in Australia—but he's a pretty well-known marriage counselor, Terry Real.Dr. Justin: Oh, yeah. I quote him in my book.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. He does a lot of work about—well, he says something like, “There's nothing that harshness can accomplish that kindness can't accomplish better.”Dr. Justin: That's so beautiful.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Thank you. That's inspiring. I'm so glad you shared that.Sarah: Yeah. I love it.It's hard to remember, but I think it is true. And I wish that—and I know the world needs a dose of that right now.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: One hundred percent.Well, thank you so much.Where's the best place for folks to go and find out more about you and what you do?Dr. Justin: Probably my podcast, the Happy Families Podcast. My wife and I drop a 15-minute nugget of parenting wisdom every day, five days a week.Sarah: Oh, wow!Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's a lot of content, but it's bite-sized chunks, and it's entertaining. We're fun. We get to do it together.And the Happy Families Podcast. I've got a website called happyfamilies.com.au, but basically, if you like what we've talked about—Sarah: We'll link to all of that in the show notes. We'll link to your website and your podcast, and I'm sure it's easy to find you.Dr. Justin: That sounds great. Thanks, Sarah.Sarah: Thank you so much.Dr. Justin: What a great, great conversation. Lovely to be with you.Reimagine Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

New here? Start with our Start Here playlist — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood This is Part 1 of the Yelling Series — three episodes all about why you yell, how to stop it in the moment, and what to do after it happens. You promised yourself today would be different. And then it happened again. If you're stuck in the yelling cycle — the yell, the guilt, the promise to do better, repeat — this episode is for you. JoAnn breaks down what's actually driving the yelling (hint: it's not anger, and it's not a character flaw) and gives you the first tool in breaking the pattern for good. What you'll learn: Why knowing better is never enough to stop yelling The meaning problem: what your brain is actually reacting to in the moment Why the guilt spiral after yelling makes the pattern worse, not better How to identify your personal yelling triggers — and what they're really telling you The 3-question Yelling Audit to do after this episode Next week: Part 2 — the body reset tools you can use in under 60 seconds, even when you can't leave the room. Remember: the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the gut–brain connection is driving emotional dysregulation in your child? Hidden gut imbalances may fuel mood swings and meltdowns. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, helps families calm the brain and restore emotional balance.If your child's meltdowns feel unpredictable or tied to physical discomfort, you're not imagining it. What if the gut–brain connection is driving emotional dysregulation in your child?This episode unpacks how gut health impacts mood, behavior, and stress—and what you can do to help your child feel calmer and more in control.Why does my child have emotional meltdowns when they're hungry or have stomach issues?You're not alone in noticing this pattern. Behavior is communication, and sometimes your child's body is sending signals before their brain can explain them.When the gut is out of balance, it can increase irritability, anxiety, and emotional reactivity—especially when blood sugar drops or digestion is off.Mood crashes when hungry can signal unstable blood sugarFrequent stomach aches or constipation may point to gut imbalanceAnxiety tied to physical discomfort is a major clueImagine this: Your child melts down every afternoon before dinner. It looks behavioral—but their nervous system may actually be overwhelmed by hunger and gut stress.How does the gut actually affect my child's brain and emotions?Let's calm the brain first by understanding what's happening underneath. The gut and brain are constantly communicating through the vagus nerve—like a two-way highway.Here's what matters most:Most serotonin (the “feel-good” chemical) is made in the gutThe gut microbiome helps regulate inflammation and brain signalingSignals travel from gut to brain more than you thinkWhen the gut is balanced, your child's nervous system can regulate stress more easily. When it's not? That “stress cup” fills fast—and spills over as meltdowns.Yelling less and staying calm isn't about being perfect—it's about having the right tools.Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it.Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletterWhat are signs my child's gut is affecting their behavior?It's not always obvious—but there are patterns parents can learn to spot.Look for these clues:Mood shifts after certain foodsDigestive issues (constipation, discomfort, picky eating)Energy crashes or fatigueBehavior changes when sleep is offThese don't automatically mean it's the gut—but they're signals worth paying attention to.One parent shared: After addressing gut health alongside nervous system regulation, their child's emotional outbursts didn't just improve—they dramatically shifted. That's the power of looking at the full picture.

Andy and Jeff unload their frustrations on the Cavs giving up a 22 point lead and dropping game 1 to the Knicks in overtime.

In Dumb Ass News, Chaz and AJ played a news report detailing the firing of a bus driver, after brake checking the kids on board and yelling at them. (0:00) A bakery in Louisiana made a $600 cake, then purposely destroyed it on camera. (9:29) Nick Stevens was in studio with Chaz and AJ this morning, to talk about his career on Boston radio, thanks to his character "Fitzy." Nick also addressed rumors that he'd lost his job because of his take on Mike Vrabel. (14:19) The New Jersey angry driver, Nick Goldsack, was on the phone with Chaz and AJ this morning to talk about idiots on the road. Nick has gained quite a following, even though his wife, Lisa, can't understand it. (23:10) What's with the lobster roll war in Connecticut? Matt Rader was on the phone to talk about the Guilford LobsterFest in June, and went through all the details of years of lobster roll wars in CT. (30:54) 

The boys talk 76ers and Flyers, all winners who went on to defeat their respective opponents and certainly did not get swept. Also featuring Rin yelling loudly from the couch and talking shit about Jayson Tatum. Shoot a message or leave us a voicemail (leave your name and pronouns): 267-371-7218 Find our bonus episodes and Discord on Patreon. Follow us on Bluesky:  Podcast Liam Tom  

Mukhtar Kadiri: When the Smartest Person on the Team Becomes the Biggest Bottleneck — And Explodes in a Meeting Read the full Show Notes and search through the world's largest audio library on Agile and Scrum directly on the Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast website: http://bit.ly/SMTP_ShowNotes.   "A lot of times, the problem is not necessarily technical. It's a human problem. Just figuring out the human dynamics removes the obstacles and makes the project flow." - Mukhtar Kadiri   Mukhtar was brought into a healthcare software project where the team couldn't hit any of their milestones. The product manager, engineering team, and head of engineering were supposed to be self-sustaining, but chaos reigned. What Mukhtar found through his one-on-ones was a pattern of finger-pointing — product blaming engineering, engineering blaming product. Then, in one meeting, the head of engineering exploded. He burst out yelling in front of the entire team. In a private conversation afterward, Mukhtar discovered the root cause: this brilliant architect was a bottleneck. Everyone depended on him, he was stretched across multiple projects, and the frustration had been building with no outlet. Mukhtar's approach was direct — "Your name is on this project. Yelling is not going to help." But the real insight came from what happened next. Once the head of engineering started controlling his outbursts, team morale improved almost immediately. Combined with basic structure — regular meetings, low-hanging-fruit milestones — the team built momentum and eventually became self-sufficient. The lesson? No matter how technical the challenge looks, it's always a people problem. And one-on-ones aren't just status updates — they're pressure valves that prevent public explosions that can cause irreparable damage to team morale.   Self-reflection Question: Is there someone on your team who's carrying too much load in silence — and what would it take for you to create a safe space where they can express that frustration before it boils over? Featured Book of the Week: HBR Project Management Handbook by Antonio Nieto-Rodriguez Mukhtar recommends the HBR Project Management Handbook because, as he puts it, "A lot of project management books, I can read them and it's almost like I'm not really learning anything new. But this one had substance." After stumbling into project management and leading projects for seven years before even pursuing his PMP, Mukhtar found that most PM books simply codified what he already knew from experience. The HBR handbook was different — it offered breadth, depth, and fresh approaches to common project management challenges. He also recommends the Rita Mulcahy PMP Exam Prep for those preparing for PMP certification, noting that studying for the exam crystallized frameworks around things he had been doing instinctively.   [The Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast Recommends]

His mom loves to show up unannounced and this time he snapped. Is he the jerk?

In this solo episode of Robot Unicorn, Jess tackles a common parenting struggle: How to find a middle ground between being passive and resorting to yelling. Tune in to gain practical insights that will empower you to break negative cycles and lead your children with respect and calm authority.Learn more about our Parenting Little Kids course here.Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN.We'd love to hear from you! Have questions you want us to answer on Robot Unicorn? Send us an email: podcast@robotunicorn.net. Credits:Editing by The Pod Cabin Artwork by Wallflower Studio Production by Nurtured First  Head to nurturedfirst.com/bodysafety to learn more about our Body Safety & Consent course!

Jay and Mark are joined by Dr. Daryl McPhee to discuss "Unsure Shooting," the 31st chapter of Deep Blue Sea. In this episode, they also talk about discuss BMX Bandits, Australian shark films, and Rose Byrne near water in movies. Enjoy!Make sure to buy Dr. Daryl McPhee's upcoming book "Sharks Down Under"

A few years ago, Trae Crowder went out to the woods, pointed his phone at his face, and started yelling. Hundreds of millions of views later, he's still basically doing that... just with a shirt on now.Trae joins the Holler to talk about the origin of the Liberal Redneck (North Carolina played a bigger role than you'd think), what it's like to be the guy who's supposed to represent the South to people who've never been here, and why he used to text JD Vance.We also get into losing friends over politics, what's actually wrong with the Democratic Party, why Hollywood still can't quite figure out what to do with him, and whether rednecks are the one group nobody gets cancelled for mocking.Join the Holler today!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/thehometownholler/membershipSubstack: https://substack.com/@thehometownhollerWebsite: https://www.thehometownholler.com/

Scott Thiede returns to talk Season 8 Episode 15, "To The Max"!

It's the Netflix comedy from Mindy Kaling starring Kate Hudson that is equal parts glossy, chaotic, and completely addictive. Yep, we’re diving headfirst into Running Point Season 2!It’s a sports show, a family mess, a workplace comedy, and a rom-com experiment all at once — and somehow we’re still fully invested. We unpack why Isla Gordon is such a compelling disaster of a lead, why Season 2 pushes her even further into chaos, and why we can’t decide if we want to be her or run from her.We get into the love triangle that keeps collapsing under its own “perfect vs passion” logic, why Lev stops feeling so perfect this season, and how Coach Jay suddenly becomes a lot more interesting than expected. Plus, the friendship storyline that quietly becomes the emotional centre of the entire season, Cam’s slow villain energy, and the cameos that feel like Mindy Kaling collecting icons for fun.And then there’s that finale — the betrayal, the twist, and the very obvious setup for Season 3 chaos.Love binge-watching TV? The Spill has launched a new podcast called Watch Party where we deep dive into the shows everyone’s talking about. Follow the feed on Apple or Spotify now. Plus remember The Spill drops the tea twice a day in this feed so follow us for all the latest entertainment news… OR you can WATCH our show in full length video on the Apple Podcast app - make sure your phone is up to date and enjoy the watch! Link here. THE END BITS Find and follow us on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespillpodcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thespillpod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thespillpodcast/ Read all the latest entertainment news on Mamamia: https://mamamia.com.au/entertainment/ Support Independent Women’s Media: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe/ Your subscription helps us continue to tell the stories that matter to women. Want to join the conversation? Have feedback or a topic you want us to discuss? Send us a voice message or email us at thespill@mamamia.com.au and we’ll get back to you ASAP! Executive Producer: Monisha Iswaran Audio & Video Producer: Michael Kean Mamamia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast. From MoMA Mia. Welcome to This Spill, your daily pop culture fix. 00:05Speaker 2 I'm Laura Brodnick and I'm and Benham and welcome to a. 00:08Speaker 1 Very special episode of This Spill. We have been just hanging out to do this since we heard that this show was being made on Netflix, So welcome to our brutally honest review of Running Points Season two. I love this show, me too. 00:24Speaker 2 I love this show so much. 00:25Speaker 3 We talked about it, I think for a week in watch and a bit when the show started in season one when they had season one, but we never did a brially honest review in season one. 00:33Speaker 1 No, I know we didn't mind, Mae, because we did three episodes leading up. Well. 00:36Speaker 3 I think there was also a lot of content happening around the same time, and also not a lot of people were talking about it. I remember we were like, are we the only ones watching this? Because we really wanted to do a brilliant review and we thought not enough people were watching it to be interested in really interview. And then when Netflix put out their numbers for that year and Running Point was so high on the list of being like one of their most watch shows, we were like, oh, we have to do it. 00:59Speaker 2 For season two. 01:00Speaker 1 Yes, and so season two debuted about a week ago and ever since then it's been number one on Netflix in Australia for multiple, multiple days. So we know you crazy kids are watching it because you listen to us. 01:10Speaker 2 Make your last week. 01:11Speaker 1 Yeahs all these running points, super fans, No, I mean I feel like it sells itself. I mean it's a comedy starring Kate Hudson created by Mindy Kaling. Like the show sells itself. 01:20Speaker 2 It's like literally the perfect Vendi. 01:22Speaker 1 Yeah. So that was our initial attraction to the show. Well, when I heard Kate Hudson doing like a proper TV show for the first time comedy, I was in obviously the Mindy Kaling of it all, but also that it was so many of the creative team like Ike Baron Holtz, who co created the show with Mindy Kaling. It was so many of the same creative team from one of our joint favorite TV shows of all time, The MINDI Project. The Mind Guys, if you haven't watched The Mindy Project yet after all these years, what are you doing? 01:53Speaker 3 I even think And this might be an unpopular opinion that like the funniest funniest parts in running point, the show barely even touches the surface of how funny Mindy Project is, But you can so tell which jokes Mindy and Ike have written compared to the other writers on the show, because it's so like, specifically that really smart, quick sense of humor that they had on the Mindy Project. And it's so interesting because I'm looking at Kate's character in this show, she plays Isla Gordon, and I'm like, your character would have fitted perfectly within the Mindy Kayling universe in the Mindy Project. 02:27Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. 02:28Speaker 2 That's the thing. 02:29Speaker 1 Running point is very much I guess, like almost like the Little Sister of the MINDI Project, Like it's it's fun, but it's not. And I say this myself, who as a little sister's it's like great and fun, but just not quite. 02:41Speaker 2 As good as the original. I my younger sister to put it. As an oldest girl, I love that. 02:49Speaker 1 Well. The thing is, I'm not trying to diminish it, but the thing is, like, in my humble opinion, nothing else that Mindy Kaling has come close to being as perfect and hilarious as the MINDI Project. But that's not saying how the work is an incredible. It's like the MINDI project is like lightning at a bottle, Like you can't recreate it, you can't move it over to other projects. It's just like that bar is like in the Heaven. 03:11Speaker 3 It's like perfect humor, perfect storyline, perfect cast. 03:15Speaker 1 But it doesn't mean her other TV shows aren't great. It's like that's a special thing all of itself. So in season one, we were introduced to the Gordon family and the character of Isla Gordon, who was played by Kate Hudson, who's based on a real woman who took over Do you not know that? 03:28Speaker 3 I feel like I kind of I think you told me in season one and I had the same reaction. 03:33Speaker 1 Like what, I actually love this that I can tell you the same facts like multiple times and you'll give me a great reaction each time. 03:40Speaker 3 Because I think the first time you told me, I was like, oh, yeah, she's based on the Murdoch family, like Terry Boys. 03:46Speaker 1 Well, yeah, based on a woman who took over a family NBA team and like rows up the ranks to be like a really high like player in the National Basketball League in America, But a lot of it is fictionalized in terms of like all the party of girls stuff, brother going to jail, little legitimate child, like, all that stuff is just like a Mindy Kaling oh creation. So in season when we introduced to Aila Gordon, who I loved. She's like a messed up party girl heiress who was always just kind of on the outs of this extreme family business of owning this LA basketball team. And when her oldest brother Cam played by Justin Threw, and Justin Throw he loves a quirky role. Yeah, he's so good at them, just like he did the same thing in Devils prior to He's done the same thing so many times of the year. 04:30Speaker 2 But he has such like a serious demeanor. 04:33Speaker 1 Yeah, he looks so serious. He looks like a brooding heart. 04:36Speaker 2 He's really serious and scary. 04:37Speaker 1 And inside is just a little quirky character actor just waiting to get out. So he went to rehab and there was all this terrible stuff. 04:44Speaker 2 So that's not Justin Throw his character. Yeah, although maybe his method I don't know. 04:48Speaker 1 I don't know what he does in his spare time, probably running point method for imagine. 04:53Speaker 2 Telling the police. 04:54Speaker 1 I just I'm in this Many Kaling show. I started to my character, He's like, you guys, get it right, like absolutely not, You're going to jail. So we saw Eila take over the family business and have to kind of like prove herself to her brothers and also the basketball team. 05:09Speaker 2 And at the same time, she was. 05:11Speaker 1 In a relationship with lev played by Max Greenfield, who I love and adore so much. 05:16Speaker 3 His character is so similar to his character and your girl. 05:20Speaker 1 Oh really, I think opposite? 05:22Speaker 2 No way, How are they? How are they similar? 05:25Speaker 1 Because both love green juice. Okay, you're just that's literally every white man in LA. 05:31Speaker 3 They're both they're both obsessed with their partner, like he's obsessed. 05:34Speaker 1 With her, Yeah, but in a different way like he he Schmidt because if you haven't seen you girl, also, if you haven't seen you girl, also what are you doing? 05:41Speaker 2 So many recommendations? 05:42Speaker 1 That is also a top top tier comedy. Here's character of Schmidt on that is just one of those breakout stars from like one of those ensemble comedies that is like such a kind of like an individual thing that can't be recreated. Whereas Levins, like he does have that same kind of lovable energy. I guess that Schmidt does. But I think that's just Screenfield in general, because and hiss like a little smile. Again, that's just Max Greenfield's face, because whatever, Schmid's so like neurotic. 06:09Speaker 2 Yeah, but I feel like, you know, I'm gonna stick to my guy. Okay, you similar like. 06:14Speaker 3 I when I was watching him in Running Point, I'm like, I couldn't take Schmid out of my head. Maybe that's just because he is that character. 06:21Speaker 1 Yeah, well he does kind of create that character. 06:24Speaker 3 And like when you watch New Girl, it's hard to like separate them both. Yeah, but I do think he was perfectly cast for this role. 06:31Speaker 1 Well, the thing is, they wanted her love interest to kind of like again be a bit out of like this like every other all the other men in the show, like a bit douchey but also really power, like hungry with secrets and stuff. And Lev is meant to be sort of like this outside world of like an opposites of track, like iile agorded as this rich, kind of messed up woman who is also like a big theme of also season two was like she's a bad person, which is, you know, the whole kind of like thing that we see her go through, and Lev was kind of like this all too good to be true, nice doctor who cares about his family and cares about her and gives her second chances and like makes her coffee in the morning, and it's just always there in the background. And that's a very common rom com trope, which indicating loves to take a rom com troop and like put it in the show, but then like play off it in a bigger storyline because it's his idea of like, this is the perfect guy, but I'm not in love with him, as we find out in this season, and I can't force on paper he's perfect, but there's no like fire, yeah, which. 07:28Speaker 3 We kind of saw towards the end of season one where she kisses Jay like coach j Coach also very hot and attractive, but it was one of those storylines where you weren't like overtly rooting for them because Lev is such a good guy as well, yeah, and you like love them both so much, so it was very much like up to I guess her discretion on what she would do, and the audience would just like back whatever decision she made. And then I think that's where like season one ended, was her kissing Jay after Jay announcid he's moving to Boston and leaving the team, as well as us finding out that Justin Thurrow's character Cam is not as good as he seems. 08:10Speaker 1 Yes, because you thought at the in season one that he had, even though he'd done some bad things, that he had picked Eyelight to take over the family business because he really believed believe her. He was giving her a chance. It's only because he thought she would fail huge plot twists. In fact, Mindy Kayling said recently that they put a huge amount of cliffhangers at the end of season one of Running Point, because she's like, You've got to do that on a Netflix show. You've got to fill the last episode with cliffhangers so that the people at Netflix are forced to go, oh, okay, we'll do a second season then. And I was like, Mindy Kelling, just so you know, that only works for you. Yeah, when you have a TV show starring Kate Hudson. Do you know how many shows Netflix cancels famously, things like. 08:50Speaker 2 The Society mind Hunters. Yeah, exactly. They ruined people's lives. 08:55Speaker 1 They don't care if there's a plot twist at the end, they will cancel that shit. Even if either you end on the biggest plot twist ever and everyone's like oh again, like a society, they'll just be like cut sorry, it's good. Sorry. Sometimes Mindy Kelly doesn't know her privilege. 09:09Speaker 2 Oh my god, she's. 09:10Speaker 1 Out there being like me, playing a fun little game Netflix this little thing. 09:15Speaker 2 Yeah. 09:15Speaker 1 So again, that's why they ended season two on a plot twist that we'll get to because is like it's probably gonna get picked up, but it's at the time of recording, it's not official, but Mindy Kellings knows what she's doing. 09:26Speaker 2 It has to be a picked up. It will be. It has to be. 09:29Speaker 1 You don't cancel Kate Hudson's show. Ah, so we pick up in season two. 09:35Speaker 3 Yeah, we pick up in season two with Cam having been out of rehab and surprising the family. He's back in their office and he's like sitting in the islids like now, I guess his old office and that has made her own, and he asks for his job back now because she CEO. She's like, are you okay with working under me? 09:55Speaker 1 And he's huge when you're the big brother and like the patriarch of the family. 09:59Speaker 2 Exactly, and he was like yes, yes, yes, And then her other brothers are so excited to have him back. 10:05Speaker 3 And the beginning, we just see like Cam trying to merge himself with the family while also the audience know that he's not there on good terms for himself, Like we know he has like this underlining message he wants to like delivered to them, and we're trying. 10:17Speaker 2 To figure out what his play is. Yeah. 10:19Speaker 1 Yeah. 10:19Speaker 3 At the same time anyway, as that's happening, we also are with Eiler while she tries to find a new coach for their team, which is actually so funny, Like I found all the interview processes I did for the coaches were so funny. Ray Romano, Yeah kill that role. 10:39Speaker 1 I know, so good and so funny the way he because he was talking about getting the role when you're very Romano like he's just so humble, but also he knows his worth. He's like, my people told me that Mindy Kayling you want to be for a role, and I was like, yeah, I know him, Mindy Kaling, she's funny, I'll do it. And then he's it's so funny because he's also like I guess people just think he's just a bit of a comedy kind of person, but he's also like white an actory actor. Yeah, he's like, no, no, but normally I have to because apparently they're like, oh great, we're shooting next week. So he got the call and they booked him and they're like, oh great, so be on set next week. And he was like, wait, an actor needs time to prepare. He's like I usually like because I give myself a backstory and I think about it and I do research and. 11:15Speaker 2 All this topic. 11:16Speaker 1 I was like, oh my god, Ray Romano preparing for his roles is like someone make a documentary about that. 11:21Speaker 2 It's so bad. 11:22Speaker 3 And then like Ike Barnhost is probably like, this is a Mindy Kaling show. 11:25Speaker 2 You don't need to be doing. 11:26Speaker 1 So apparently he started researching like famous NBA coaches. And it's even weird that even I know this name, Greg Popovich, who was the San Antonio Spur, like a famous coach. 11:36Speaker 2 I don't know this. 11:37Speaker 1 Why don't it must have been it must have been referenced in like movies or something. Probably I didn't know what team he was and I've just heard that name. Maybe it's one of those names because he How many famous coaches are they? I'm sure in America heaps, but how many famous coaches names get used in TV? 11:50Speaker 2 Shows and movies. 11:51Speaker 1 That's true, so he modeled himself off him. Oh and that's a fun fact for the sports fans. And I just will clarify that's the last fun sports factor. 11:58Speaker 2 Okay, no sports fact. I had my mind and I just used it. I loved his character. 12:03Speaker 3 I love that his character had the potential to be so serious, but then the other characters pull him out of it. Like there's so many points where he tries to bring up his late wife who passed away, and all the other characters is like, we. 12:16Speaker 2 Don't have to. They're like, yeah, for your wife, caresn for your wife. Let's go. 12:21Speaker 1 I know. It's so funny because the thing is he does sentimental so well. So he has all those like when he comes in for his meeting, like he has all these like kind of bumbling moments. But then when you see like, yeah, he tells a story about his late wife, but then also knowing that he left his playbook behind. And I love the thing between him and Marcus where AILA's like you have to make him feel like your main girl. Raymond is like, I know his name's not Raymond over, you don't He's like, yeah, I get it. 12:45Speaker 2 I get it. 12:45Speaker 3 Like Marcus, You're my main girl, and Marcus is like, who's like the star player, He's like okay. 12:50Speaker 1 Gets thrown off the court to look after him. So yeah, there's a lot of kind of movement in the team and in the business as they kind of start putting the new team together, getting a coach, and also looking towards the playoffs. Yeah, sports jargon. 13:02Speaker 3 The best thing about Mindy Kaling shows and Running Point does this so well is like there's always a female lead, Like all her shows have a female lead, and that female lead has at least five problems happening at the same time exactly. So you're seeing like this really beautiful, put together woman just have these like frantic moments of all of these things happening in her life. Like she's having to deal with a new coach, she's a sponsorship with the team, her love life is in perils, she has to plan a wedding, best friend Ali is trying to join a different team. 13:32Speaker 1 Yeah, so she's got all of these. 13:33Speaker 3 Things happening and they're all snowballing into each other exactly, and like it's only specific type of person can do those roles, which is why I'm so glad Kate Hudson is like the main character of that role because I feel like all the leading women in Mindy Kaling's projects have been the best at that type of person. 13:49Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly, Yeah, Mindy Hellings. 13:51Speaker 2 It's such a specific thing. 13:52Speaker 1 I can't even describe a Mindy Kayalen leading lady, but I would say fashionably dressed, yeah, running somewhere, dropping things, spilling a coffee and having a hand. 14:00Speaker 2 It's a man treat. 14:00Speaker 1 Her badly but also be in love with her. That's because Mindy Kaling is like, she is a die hard romantic comedy fan. She's watched every romantic comedy, study them, she used to watch them over and over again as a kid, and she just wanted to live in one so badly that she created the Mindi Project, which is just a TV series that's one big, long romantic comedy set in New York. But the twist is the character would never be in a traditional rom com because she's an awful person and famously rom com women are like in a lot of the old school rom coms are just like they're clutch in sweet, but sometimes a little bit bland and sometimes not quite like they're Yeah, they never do the wrong thing because rom COM's taught us like you have to kind of be a bit perfect and like the man will eventually realize he's actually in love with you plot. 14:46Speaker 3 Twist and it's a really cute and like mousey yeah, and like her co worker is like calling her big l. 14:54Speaker 2 She's like, I'm not big, al I'm a tiny age and they're like, yeah, you are big. I'm wasting away. 15:00Speaker 1 And that's the thing about the MINDI character and the MINDI project is like she's so unlikable and that's why she made her a doctor because she's like, oh, this woman's gotta have unlikeable in the best way possible. 15:10Speaker 2 We love her. 15:11Speaker 1 It's just like a traditional Romcom lady wouldn't be pulling the stunt set. Actually Lindy pulls in that show. And so she made her a doctor because she's like, oh my god, this one's gotta have one like kind of redeeming thing about her. Even if sometimes she's like, oh you do have insurance, she's like, oh, you're gonna do it tonight and lost at home. 15:31Speaker 2 Watch. 15:32Speaker 1 So she's not the doctor you'd call, but I guess if she was there, she would. 15:35Speaker 2 Yeah. 15:36Speaker 1 So I like characters kind of meant to be that, And I love that she does have this redemption where she does decide to try and be a better person, but she's still a bit of a shitty person all the way through. And I love that about her because if she had this complete personality change, it wouldn't work. 15:51Speaker 3 It wouldn't work, and it also just wouldn't be good content. Like you want to kind of like have this like push and pull against the main character where it's like a very clever way of writing a main character where everything about them you hate, but you're rooting for them so hard. 16:06Speaker 1 Yeah, And I'm always rooting Foriler, except every time she says I'm a bad person, I'm like, yeah, girl, yeah, but not a bad person, just a bad person. And just like when they show them montage of her doing bad things like stealing a sandwich or stopping a chair and stuff, and they're just like, yeah, that's weird. 16:20Speaker 2 Love that I've never changed. 16:22Speaker 1 The biggest sign to me they were trying this season to kind of paint her as someone who used to be a bad person is trying to get better is the fact that they point out that before she met Ali, she never had a female friend is like you just know as a girl, that's the worst thing you can say to another girl. It's like you're not a girl's girl. Women don't like you. And usually in a movie and TV show, that's the biggest red flag for a character like that would be the villain, not the main character. 16:47Speaker 2 That's so true, and they really showcase that with It makes you think about season one. 16:52Speaker 3 You're like, oh, yeah, I guess she's like so successful in this world because you would see I guess quote unquote past shots of her like bringing her friends into the basketball stadium and stuff, but you never really see the friends. 17:04Speaker 2 Yeah. You always just see her hanging out. 17:06Speaker 3 In the locker rooms with the players and like her dad and her brothers and stuff like that. But you like don't hear about her mum or any other women in her life besides Allie, who's honestly, Brenda's song is like amazing in this it was only because they had to live together in Uni, so like their friendship was kind of forced upon each other. Yeah, but then like Alie literally becomes her person. 17:29Speaker 1 Yeah, And I do love that because it's also saying like, yeah, this is that woman that you get warned about that. And again, we know so many of those women who hang out with their family or their partner and that's it. Yeah, and they're kind of stuck in that world because and that's the interesting thing about the Gordon family in this is they are that very specific family that everyone knows a family like this where they're kind of all terrible and they hate each other, but they just don't have anyone else. Yeah, so they have to Gordon family, always coming back together and having each other's backs, like, oh, it's us or nothing. 17:57Speaker 2 Yeah, that's so true and I love that. 17:59Speaker 1 And yeah, again, Eiler is that very specific character where she's just like, girls don't like me, and yeah, we sometimes see her with a group of friends, but it's very specifically that thing of like party friends. 18:08Speaker 2 Yeah, like you can like a rich people friends. 18:10Speaker 1 Rich people friends where you know, like Isla Gordon's got the bottle service, she's got the table, she's gonna like you can take her car there, you know what I mean. Like she's those people like I'm sure half those girls don't even have her number and she doesn't know their names. They're just like her party girlfriends that latched onto her when she was like young in. 18:26Speaker 3 Her ghost clubs, which is why I like the friendship episode with Alie started off so strong with showing their backstory of how they became friends, and then we find out that Ali has been asking for a promotion. Firstly, asking for a promotion from your best friend must be like insane. 18:41Speaker 1 Yeah, when your best friend becomes your boss, which is something that happens in workplaces because you bond and become friends with the people. 18:47Speaker 2 Especially for the only two women working in that workplace. 18:50Speaker 1 And she has become like part of the family to an extent, and you can see that in the way like Ness and Cam to an extent, but he's a bit evil. But like how like Kness and Sandy have a back and forth with her, Like it's very brother sister. Yeah, like they're so mean to her, but they're only mean to her because they kind of treat her like Isler and they call her out and stuff. 19:07Speaker 2 It's very brotherly. 19:08Speaker 3 Also equals, right, Yeah, it was like her and Ali aren't exactly equals when it comes to that like hierarchy of power, which is why when Alie said that she's going to Canada, Yeah, she's going to Canada because she got a new opportunity that has more money, and like Ila's team could not pay her the same amount, and Eila just couldn't like work out why she was leaving, and she was like, you're leaving because you hate me, and al He's like, if you're a good friend, you'd congratulate me. 19:36Speaker 2 Yeah, And it just shows that, like how she's. 19:38Speaker 3 Just been living in that world a privilege for so long. Yeah, that like I think it was the first time that Eyler realized that Alie is not on her level. 19:46Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. And also because it was so interesting how their like flashback scenes of them as college roommates set up their dynamic of the fact that Allie was the first person who didn't give a crap that she was Isla Gordon or Isla Gordon, and she's like, hey, Islam who didn't kind of give a crap that she was this rich, like party girl, that she came from a well known family and just well she didn't like her at first, which is in the chasing there was a classic like you know, opposite and then they watched slowly become friends that scene where they're crying together watching a movie and it and they're like he can't see without these glasses, and it flashes to my girl is so good, especially because Macaulay Culkin wanted a bigger part this season and he only got for anyone who doesn't know, I'm sure people do, but Macaulay Culkin is Brenda Song's partner and they have two children together and madly, madly in love. 20:40Speaker 3 And they're also both massive basketball fans, every single and she's. 20:45Speaker 2 A bigger fan than him. 20:46Speaker 1 Do you know that once in the Lakers game she had to be hospitalized because she was watching the game and she became so like fraught watching it, and then she took a sip of water and they scored, and then she was like, oh my god, you have like sports people are very superstitious, and they're like, if I won this day, I've got to wear the same underwear or drive the same way to work, or like put the same stick on or whatever it is. And she was like, oh my god, every time they should have just so she was hyperventilating and taking a sip of water to help them score, to the point where she like nearly stopped breathing and had to go to the emergency room. 21:12Speaker 2 Brenda song Man just just a girl, just a girl who loves it. 21:15Speaker 3 Was so funny when I was watching the like part of the promo for this season. Yeah, Kate Hudson and Brenda Song had to go to a few NBA games and sit like in the like celebrity see, like on the court and like Brenda songs like jumping up and down and like. 21:29Speaker 2 Yelling at the players and pointing, and you can hear Kate Hudson just sitting next to her and she's just like, you're crazy. Yeah, she was like, I didn't sign up at this level of promo. 21:38Speaker 1 And so when they went to that movie and crying, it's cute because that's Brenda Song's partner or pot we culked, and he gets a few little cameos in, but like he was gunning. Apparently he was gunning for a big partner, like we'll see you next season. So that's cute. So yes, so we see there's this whole story about like a headhunter's in town. Yes, this headhunter who's going to come and take the team away. 21:56Speaker 2 Did you recognize him? 21:57Speaker 1 I did, reckon absolutely, I really jumped off my chair because guys, he's from the MINDI Project. He's so in the fans. So the actor's name is Tommy Dewey and he plays Magnus in Running Points. So he's from the Toronto Trappers. I'm sure if that's a real team, and do you know what, I don't think it is, and I decided not to look it up because I didn't. 22:18Speaker 2 Want to ruin the magic yea. 22:20Speaker 1 And so he's called the Poacher, So he was, And there's just that was actually quite a good plot twist because they're like, they thought he was coming to take a player from their team, and then he wasn't. And so it cuts to the Gordon siblings and they're like, but if it wasn't for that, why was he here? And then it cuts to him offering her this job? 22:36Speaker 3 And isn't it so funny that that was his exact character in The MINDI Project. 22:40Speaker 2 He like managed an NBA team and he would be at all these parties. 22:44Speaker 1 No Mindy Kayling knows what she's doing. So yeah, he played Josh in The MINDI Project and he was one of Mindy Kayling's many love interests. But he had a couple of seasons up, yeah, and then he left when his girlfriend showed up, played by Ellie Kemper, who is Mindy Kaling's very good friend and a coast on the off and he was dating the Tools at the same time, and they have this massive fight, remember when she has to handcuff Midy Kelly handcuffs Ellie Kemper. But I always remember him from one of the very best scenes ever in the MINDI Project, where she goes, oh, after they've like woken up together. She goes, Oh, let me throw on your shirt. 23:18Speaker 2 It'll be so over I was talking about. She's like, oh, let me throw on your shirt. 23:25Speaker 1 It'll be so oversized on me because I'm so dainty to be so sexy. She puts on like fits perfectly, but just a little snug. Then he's like, what happened to my jeans? He puts on her jeans and again they fit. 23:38Speaker 2 And he was like, oh they fit me, and she starts screaming. 23:40Speaker 1 She's like it was so it's the funniest thing ever. And it's because like in your head, you're just like I'm living in a rom com in the rear. It's just like, absolutely not. 23:51Speaker 2 I love that. Let me put this on to be so dainty. 23:54Speaker 1 And so that's his whole character, is that he offers Allie this job that she can't turn down, and that causes that huge falling out between Ali and Isla. And it's the worst falling out of the show because, as we know, like falling up the family member, fine ya, falling up the love interest encouraged fully out of your best friend, especially when you've aready got one. 24:13Speaker 3 Oh heart breaking, heartbreaking, And they really pushed that storyline because I'm just gonna say it. 24:20Speaker 2 Alie was in Toronto for way too long. What she's there for one episode? No, it felt way too okay, Like she fully. I was like, oh my god, Isla, stop her at the door, stop her? Oh okay, and then she's like fully in a different country. She had to go. Actually, they made it so dark. 24:34Speaker 3 There's dark and gloomy and blue, and the poacher only cared about what Isla thought of her leaving. 24:41Speaker 2 Did Eila crime, She's scream. 24:44Speaker 1 So I thought it needed more of a build up than which they would just I thought the whole Gordon in my head, this is the note I had in my head. The whole Gordon family would just fall apart without her not realizing that she was the lynch pin or not holding the entire company together, because I do think that's true, and also holding the family together, and all these boys who are mean to her and had taken her for granted would also go with Island to apologize to her. That was my fantasy, which happened, But it was enough when Ilan went. It was enough when Island and they had their friendship moment and She's. 25:13Speaker 2 Like, how did you get in here? 25:15Speaker 1 It's no small planes. 25:16Speaker 2 Did you fly commercial? 25:18Speaker 1 You're like, yeah, that is the whip put in near the bathroom. That is the world we're dealing with. And at the same time as all that's happening, Cam is slowly but surely being the super villain of the season. 25:30Speaker 3 Oh I love him though, justin Thrower, he's so funny in this. So we find out that Cam is trying to take back his place as CEO, and he's doing it through like very discreete insidious ways where he's slowly trying to make decisions on behalf of Isler. Like firstly he tried to hire his own coach and was just saying, this is what we're doing now, and Isla was like, no, we're not doing that. And then he tried to get his own sponsor on and Isla was like. 25:57Speaker 1 No, which his own sponsor our fly? Can I give him a shout out? 26:01Speaker 2 Yeah? 26:01Speaker 1 Because do you know who that is? Yes, that is one of my favorite actors of all time. 26:04Speaker 2 That is Ken Marino. Where he's your favorite actor just in so many. 26:08Speaker 1 Things, so funny, so funny. So he plays a really iconic role in for Roddi Kamas. He's the rival private investigator to Rodi Kammas and her dad. 26:18Speaker 2 Just so funny. That's just so weird. Yeah, a lot of the times. So he's always like kind of like and again he's just he always plays like a goofy bad guy. 26:25Speaker 1 He plays like he always plays like the worst person who's also secretly hilarious. So when I saw him pop up, I was like, well, dog mindy Kayley. And he was also in that like iconic series like Party Down. 26:34Speaker 2 Yeah, he's just in Brooklyn, My night. 26:36Speaker 1 Yeah he's been You look for a really good comedy show and he's in it. He's like one of those comedy actors who just like everyone calls him to be in their show. So when he rocked up, I'm like, now we're going Now this is a show. 26:48Speaker 2 Now this is. 26:48Speaker 3 Happening when he rocked up too, because he sponsors the company on behalf of toilets. 26:54Speaker 1 Yeah, so he owns a toilet company. No, No, he's a he's I guess he does all the in the stadium. He owns like a toilet company that installs. Yeah, that owns all the pipes and toilets and stuff like that. So and he's a season ticket holder. 27:08Speaker 2 Yeah. And he's obsessed with the team. 27:10Speaker 1 And so he donates money to them and stuff. 27:12Speaker 3 And he keeps wanting more and more and more, and they're like, no, no, no, you can't sit courtside that You're not a celebrity, you're just a billionmaire. 27:20Speaker 1 And then he becomes like a co conspirator with Kim. 27:23Speaker 3 He does, and they become buddy buddy. At the same time, Eiler is trying to get their existing sponsor to stay on, so they have. 27:32Speaker 2 A family basketball playoff. 27:35Speaker 1 Okay, I freaking loved this. 27:38Speaker 2 Oliver Hudson. 27:41Speaker 1 No, that's so because it was because there wasn't inter you with Kate Hudson. They were saying, like, oh, Ali should have been in there because she's practically family, and Kate Hudson's like, no, I know, but like the rule was so clearly that they had to be family, and she's like to the point where we got my real life family in there. So that is her brother Oliver Hudson and I weirdly know so much about their sibling dynamic because they have a siblings podcast. 28:02Speaker 2 They do have a podcast. You listen to it, No, because it's wild. 28:06Speaker 1 I don't think Hate's been on it for a really long time because she's booked and busy now. 28:09Speaker 2 But there was a great he's just soloing it. 28:12Speaker 1 Yeah, sometimes he solos. He did a really good episode with Blake Lively sister where they're justalking about a siblings are more famous than us? 28:18Speaker 2 Oh, I mean I like that younger brother Wyatt. 28:21Speaker 1 No, because why it's also working. 28:24Speaker 2 You know what he's working on What Monarch? Your favorite show? 28:30Speaker 1 So they have to have this family basketball thing because they have to have a thing over the rent of a stadium to this other basketball family. 28:37Speaker 2 No, it's a hockey fan. 28:39Speaker 1 Sorry, please forgive me. 28:41Speaker 3 It's a hockey family who are like wanting to invest in that who in that space. So they're like rivaling and they had like this weird bet going on. What's funny is that Oliver husband's playing for the other family. 28:52Speaker 1 Yeah, because he's playing a different thing. 28:53Speaker 2 Which is so funny because then they bring in Barrett Hole. 28:56Speaker 1 Oh my god, can we talk me that for a second. So again, finally I've been waiting for him to get on my screen. Yeah, exactly, because he was on the MINDI Project with Mindy Kley and they have a great professional relationship together where they create together and he is the co creator, co writer all the things of writing point and they had been talking for a while about if they would co star, if they would like make a cameo, would they act on it, because up until then they were like no, no, no, we're just behind the scenes. And then I said he started to get really kind of just being like, oh, I want to be on the screen. 29:27Speaker 2 I want to be in the because he wants to. 29:28Speaker 1 Be like famous, cause he's already famous and he's like in the studio and stuff. But he more SOO was getting jealous of the actors because they're think such a good time. Than he found out the actors had a text chain that was just for the actors, and every time he saw the message on it, he was like, I want to get in on that, and so in his mind he was like, what if I played the coach of a rival basketball team and I had a love affair with Kate Hudson, And what about that dynamic? It's a will they won't they? And Mindy Kaling said, yeah, or you play their cousin and you're the. 29:58Speaker 2 Dumbest person in the world. And so that is he plays. 30:03Speaker 1 Their cousin, and he's just so creepy and wonderful. He plays his exact character as Morgan, but with a slight he's like, he said, from his point of view, he was playing it like this cousin character has sexual tension with his cousin Aila. So he's like, just in his head, just so gross. And he said, there's a scene where his character, I can't even think of his name. I just think of him as like his Eyke Baron in this Cousin Ike. And there's a scene where he comes over to massage Kate Hudson's shoulders, and he wanted to make her freaked out every time because she's meant to be repulsed by it, which is like fair enough, she's meant to repulse by it, And so every time he did it, he would dip his hands in like a little bit of warm water, so when he went over, his hands were warm and wet. 30:46Speaker 2 And that's why I'm in And. 30:47Speaker 1 The first time she did it, she went ah, And that's the take. That's why she looks so freaked out. 30:51Speaker 2 That's so funny, but you can malage you mention it. I have like on the. 30:55Speaker 3 Basketball in that basketball scene where like he's like dying on the ground and he's like, I help me up, but she just walks me. 31:02Speaker 2 So gross. 31:02Speaker 1 Also, can we talk about, sorry, I'm not feeling the sexual tension between her and the coach of the one she ends up with. Can I tell you who she had wild sexual tension with? Is Scott's Speedman? 31:13Speaker 2 Yeah? 31:14Speaker 1 The actor Scott Speedman. I mean not what the actor. The actor is Scott Speedsman, but he plays the head of the rival family that they and their sexual tension so horeririble. I love Mindy Kelling so much because he's a real nineties early two thousand's heart throm and that's exactly when she would have been in her like, I don't I've seen him before, really, Scott Speedman a little show called Felicity. 31:39Speaker 2 I haven't watched it. 31:41Speaker 1 What I know underworld movies, other things, he's been what's okay, Wow, that was so her fe. 31:47Speaker 2 I've seen him in Running Point. 31:48Speaker 1 I think he's on Greasy Anatomy right now playing meritiths love interest right now. Yeah, right now, he's just going between shows being a love interest, because that's what Scott Speedman does. He's the ultimate love interest. He comes on the screen and everyone like, that's who you fall in love with. He does actually play a bad boy like this. 32:03Speaker 3 Though, that is quite likely and it's not just a bad boy, but he's like I don't know, like when that scene where like her car has a flat tire, Yeah, and then he starts like flirting with her a bit to get butterflies. 32:16Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the thing. They have such good sexual chemistry and sometimes you just can't will that into existence there it's not So I want him to come on next season when season three inevitably happens, and be the love interest for her, because now we've got tension, now we've got stakes. And also I can read Mindy Kayaling like a book, mostly because I wrote all her books multiple times, and I know that she loves will they won't they enemies to love the story. 32:43Speaker 2 Her whole MINDI project was all will they won't they? 32:45Speaker 1 Yeah? Because the MINDI Oh my god, you know how the other day I said to you, Bridget Jones is based on pride and prejudice. Yes, do you know that the MINDI Project is also based on pride? I know that, Thank gosh, Oh my god, embarrassing. I'm like your mind you just pass away. If anyone's listened to that an episode or seeing that video that went quite via, Oh my god, Emily loses her mind because she didn't know that Bridgittan's Diary was based on briden Bridge. 33:11Speaker 2 Go look at the video on our Instagram page. You can fight with everyriend in the comments. 33:14Speaker 1 Everyone who's like opened the schools. So I loved that, and like all the cameos this year was so good. The other cameo I loved before we move on to the downfall of Eiler in Love, which is the next moment after this, The other cameo I loved and again and Mindy Kelly and I are the same. 33:28Speaker 2 Person is Nicole Richie. Oh my god, yes, I forgot I was in there. 33:33Speaker 1 Nicole Richie is such an elusive being. 33:35Speaker 2 She's really good in it. 33:37Speaker 1 No, she's good. She If anybody who doesn't know the I mean, you know who Nicole Richie is. 33:41Speaker 2 If you don't, it's hard to. 33:42Speaker 1 Explain unless you were there, unless you're a teen girl or a young woman in the early two thousands, it's hard to explain the power of Nicole Richie because for a long time there she was the ultimate girl, the ultimate taste maker. And unfortunately it did happen after she lost a huge amount of weight and also committed a few crimes. Yeah, drug beast, and then went to court, went to jail all those things. Was one of those jail you know, like for a while that like Chloe Kardashi and Lindsay Low and Nicole Richie all in jailed. 34:15Speaker 3 Like me, and they all had like these dark gray underbags, but like smiling and. 34:19Speaker 1 They take their mugshots. So she went through a lot of shit. She went through a lot of shit, which she's been opened about. But then she became this glamorous fashion it girl, and she was in the whole like Rachel Zoe co hole. She was. Yeah, she was a zobot and dressed in a very specific way, but everything about her she wasn't a manufactured it girl, like she was the old cool it girl. Like everyone got a rosary beat. I mean, not me, but if my mum would let me, I would have. She has a rosary beat around her and cool tattooed falling down to her foot. Coolest thing ever she wore, like all the headbands that she used to tie on her hair. I used to do that and I used to also, and I lived in Townsville, so what was I doing. I used to lay in necklaces like herd okay leggings and the like kind of like lacy singlet tops and the massive handbags. 35:05Speaker 2 And it was such a moment. 35:07Speaker 1 And even when she had her kids and she named her daughter like Harlow Winter Kate Madden, and I was like, why is that the coolest baby name? Now she goes by Kate, which I actually find disrespectful. 35:18Speaker 2 Kate, Yeah, that's so many other names. 35:20Speaker 1 And then girl, I'm like, imagine being called Harlow Winter Kate and being like going to school and being like call me Kate. 35:26Speaker 2 I would say, no offense. My sister's name is Kate. I just like that. 35:29Speaker 1 I remember when that name Everyone's like, that is the coolest name. I've ever heard, and now she has like the jewelry brand, the fashion business and stuff because people just still want to look like Nicole Richie to this day. And I was never sure if she was a good actress. But then she did a guest in on the show he was obsessed with called Chuck, where she played like this evil got that she only like for oneiso. Okay, she played the evil high school nemesis of the lead girl, and she was so funny and good on it, so I feel like, but she doesn't do anything like that anymore. So the fact that she came in did a cameo for Running Point was so good and again played a nemesis one episode. 36:00Speaker 2 Oyah, she's so good. 36:02Speaker 1 And that I was like, Mindy Kayling, I just again, I get you. Mindy Tayling's like I want the heartthrow I grew up with and the cool girl I grew up with in my show. 36:09Speaker 2 Yes, that's so true. Okay, moving on to the. 36:15Speaker 1 The ill fated wedding of Eiler and Love. Did you think they were going to get married? I thought I had seen obviously there's stills of her trying on the wedding dress, so I thought we were actually getting a wedding. 36:26Speaker 2 Well, the wedding was such like a subplot. 36:29Speaker 3 Yeah, I feel like this whole season her romantic life was a subplot, Like it wasn't the biggest thing that was going on. If it was happening in season one, I feel like there would have been more tension with. 36:38Speaker 1 A wedding happened. 36:39Speaker 3 Yeah, But I didn't really feel the tension of will it won't it at all, Like I completely forgot it was happening until we get to the night before the wedding, which I loved. I love when the brothers got up on stage and did their Scottish Dad. 36:51Speaker 2 It was so good. It was so good. 36:53Speaker 3 And also I think seeing the four of them up there reaffirmed the idea to the audience that it is crazy that she is CEO of the company. 37:01Speaker 1 Yeah, and there's like four guys who are working for her exactly exactly, but it was so well done. 37:07Speaker 3 And then in the at the end where she like opens the ring and sees the ring that Coach Jay had given her for like the for winning and that was like the catalyst of her breaking up with Lev. And that is when Lev says you are a bad person. I know, which is the worst and you can ever say to a significant other. 37:30Speaker 1 And the thing is, I think we'd had this character thread with her. It's like she had done bad things in her past. Sometimes she did bad things now, but she had this guy that was so good and he loved her, so by extension, she too must be good. And I think she was really hanging on to that, and that's why she was pushing forward the wedding and everything. And also there's so many jokes. They don't say how old she is, but Kate Hudson is late forties, and so the character you've got to think his late thirties or early forties. You know what that means in a rom coom in life at any time, but especially in her realm, they're like, girl, get married, what's wrong with you? 38:04Speaker 2 And so she's also got. 38:05Speaker 1 This thing of is like she's like, I need to marry this man because he's good and he's so different to all the terrible men I'm surrounded with my family, like love them, but like her brother's open and her dad. 38:13Speaker 2 Was an awful person, and her mum. 38:15Speaker 1 By all accounts like, but she's like, I'm marrying this good guy, so I'm different to you, and I'm finally doing the right thing after being a washed up party girl for so many years, that I'm finally doing the right thing by getting married and letting all of that go was like a huge character arc for her, and a much bigger character art than getting married, I think, because it was her letting go of everything that made her good and right and having to just be like, and I'm just gonna be this new person I am who tries to do the right thing but still steals the sandwich. 38:42Speaker 2 Oh yeah, yeah. 38:43Speaker 3 And you can tell, like in that breakup that they're having where I was like meant to be a conversation. He when he says I think you might be a bad person, he knows, like that's the worst thing he could say he could say to her, because he's known like forever. She just wanted to prove that she was a good person, and like he knew that would be like the final thing and then he blocked her on. 39:03Speaker 1 Into which again, the worst thing you can do is you can do and say this. But I understand again I'm saying from a storytelling point of view, because Minny Kaylene, like she knows in her head she's got that third season, and just for the rom com premise to work around this basketball show, she needs to be single so that she can have the back and forth with the coach, so she can hopefully have the back and forth with Scott Speedman and she can you know, having her like happily married doesn't fit with where this story needs to go. So then we get into the final act, which is cam Like showing his hand that he's also back on drugs and using Jackie for his urine. 39:35Speaker 2 Jackie, he says that whole thing. 39:37Speaker 1 So we obviously we got not as much Jackie this season. We had the whole subplot with the dancers. I like that, which she was like, I'm like, I'm sorry, is this a Dallas cheerleaders documentary? 39:46Speaker 2 I don't know where they got that? 39:47Speaker 3 Plus and also so fair, And then we got to see Kate hasn't dance. 39:51Speaker 1 Yeah, so so funny about that because she said that was the scene that she was the most nervous about, was dancing with the cheerleaders. And she's a trained dancer because she's all saw a trained see I don't know if you've seen her dance in nine Glee, you've seen a dance in Glee. 40:04Speaker 2 I her dancing in Glee. Oh my god, go after this, straight after this. I remember her and Glee. What I remember Gwyneed Paltrow and Glee. Yeah, okay. 40:13Speaker 1 So in Glee, Kate Hudson played Cassandra July. And when Rachel Barry, Lee Michelle's character moves to New York, she's her teacher. But they have they hate each other at first of her back and forth and at one point they have a dance and song off to all that jazz from Chicago, and it's actually the greatest scene ever. You need to watch it because they're having a dance battle. 40:32Speaker 2 It's so good. 40:33Speaker 1 Okay, And Kate Hudson's a trained dancer and singer, but she hadn't danced for a really, really long time. She's professionally singing now for the first time ever. She was too scared to do it before her forties. She's so good. Kate Hudson can start becoming a singer in her forties. I know she's Kate Hudson, but I think we can just all do whatever we want. 40:50Speaker 2 We can all do whatever. That's what I'm taking away from her. Whatever age. 40:53Speaker 1 So they showed her the dance so Kate Hutson said, she got to set, they had the dances, they did the dance and she's like, oh, that looks kind of hard, but yeah, I can do it. When are we shooting? And they're like, oh, tomorrow. So she learned that whole dance in twenty four hours. The girl can dance. 41:07Speaker 2 Yeah, she is talented. So I love that. 41:10Speaker 1 So Jackie's other main storyline, apart from the fact that his girlfriend was like leading a Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders coup over fair pay and fair working conditions, that part where they're like getting dressed in the alley and stuff was so funny is that he also was pulled into Cam's web of lies and having to give him urinec heare. 41:29Speaker 2 And like jump out a window so we want to get caught. 41:32Speaker 1 My funniest line of the season came after that when Ness who is such a good character and this is not even a funny line, but it made me laugh out loud, where they're like, oh, he jumped out of the window because he was looking at a bird, and he's we've got to get those windows speaks. He's like, yeah, we love birds, but we love brothers more. 41:48Speaker 2 Like you're so stupid. His lines are so funny, he's his only funny lines. 41:52Speaker 1 It's just so so good. And then we find out what Cam's been planning, that he's going to overthrow the company, and it's such a kind of great moment when Ali and I like kind of band together to overthrow him and get their own like sponsors and get everything sorted and that ness and Sandy and I also love Standy this season. I thought I wanted him to have this big romantic story arc and I'm sorry his lover left him to be on Lisa in a another great cameo. 42:15Speaker 2 He has shown like, oh he's so cute. I do love Sandy. 42:21Speaker 1 I know, I love I love because his whole thing is like, I'm not that type of gay, because it would be the whole thing for a show to have that like very stereotypical flamboyant gay character. And I love that they've just like he's just got this full accountant yeah, and he's just like kind of this like gruff businessman who just happens to also be gay. But I also love the idea of out of the whole family because sometimes they sort of treat him as like, oh, you're the stoic one, you're this, you're that, like you're the serious one. I really wanted him to be the only one that had this beautiful romance and it didn't really work out maybe a season, but. 42:52Speaker 2 The whole family was going through the season. 42:54Speaker 1 The whole family really went through the ring up and then the part where Ness and Sandy choose to stand by Isil or not I thought was the ultimate kind of like build up moment for this season. 43:03Speaker 3 Yeah, and then like took away from like season one where it was like Bro's band together, Yeah, where like she actually proved her worth and they really found newfound respect for her, not just as like a younger sister, but just as like a business partner. 43:17Speaker 2 Yeah. 43:17Speaker 3 I was so nervous in this season, like Mindy Kayling would do that trick where she's just like not boys will be boys, Like these are the worst men ever. 43:25Speaker 2 We just have to live with that. 43:26Speaker 3 And I'm glad they came around because I don't think I could have dealt with another like annoying brother sister things. 43:32Speaker 1 Yeah, we need to see a little bit of growth from the season one finale to this season two finale. 43:35Speaker 2 I think we got that. 43:36Speaker 1 So where do you think season three is gonna go after that. 43:40Speaker 3 Oh the cliffhanger for the last episode. Also, I have to talk about when Jay and Isla were making out on the couch and I walked in. 43:48Speaker 2 And took form, like I thought we were gonna go Skinny Saunery. 43:53Speaker 1 Yeah, He's like, we go ski to be like yeah here. 43:58Speaker 3 So it ends after they win the playoffs against Boston, which. 44:02Speaker 1 Was so good because that's why you watch a sports show, Like I didn't care about actual sports, but it's so hooked to like life and death, human emotion, triumph over adversity, all those things. 44:10Speaker 2 So good. 44:11Speaker 3 It was like down to like the last second and they scored and one and that was like Jay's team, and you can see him getting kind of like giving her like a weird look and then storming off and then they just partied really hard. 44:24Speaker 2 They all woke up so drunk. 44:26Speaker 3 The next morning in Eli's house, Jackie comes running in and turn on the TV and it's this big press conference where it's announced that Cam and Al are starting their own LA basketball team to rival the Waves. 44:41Speaker 2 And their head coach is j Yeah, that's crazy, the ultimate brother lover. 44:47Speaker 1 Betraying me and I have like wearble their romans. They're like Romeo and Juliet now that they're on proper like rival team. So yeah, so season three it. 44:56Speaker 2 Just ends with going motherfucker. 44:58Speaker 1 Yeah, so good. She's so angry and hate Hudson does angry so well. So yes, humps for season three. I think it'll be really fun. Indy Kelly will get her way. She's like, take that plot twist, Netflix, Oh my god, and Mindy get on screen. 45:11Speaker 2 Please. 45:12Speaker 1 Yeah. 45:13Speaker 2 I beg you, I beg you. No, she's got an idea. 45:16Speaker 1 She's gonna play ix side piece because she's like, what's worse than playing like the worst t emn ever? Playing the side piece of the worst funny. 45:25Speaker 2 I love them together. 45:26Speaker 1 She's joking, but I'm also like, don't toy with me, make that happen. 45:29Speaker 2 No, I would love that. I want them to have their own storyline. Yeah, do a spit please. Thank you so much for listening to the Spill today. 45:38Speaker 3 Do not forget. On Monday morning, on Morning Dose of Entertainment News, morning tea drops right here in this feed at seven am, just hit follow so you do not miss a thing. The Spill is produced by Venitius Wine, with video production by Michael Keane, we will see you next week. 45:53Speaker 2 Bye bye,Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Heal Squad! Parents, listen up…this is the episode you didn't know you needed. We're with world-renowned parenting educator and author Jon Fogel, and trust us…this will completely reset how you think about raising kids. Jon literally wrote the book on it (loll), called Punishment-Free Parenting: The Brain-Based Way to Raise Kids Without Raising Your Voice, and today he's breaking down why punishment and yelling don't work long-term (even if they feel effective in the moment), and what actually does. Jon shares real-life tools you can use immediately...like how to handle meltdowns without escalating them, and the surprisingly simple “game” that can turn chaos into connection in seconds. Plus he's sharing top tips like why you should never try to reason with a dysregulated child, what strengthens secure attachment, why apologizing to your kids might be the most important parenting tool you have, and a must-hear relationship hack for couples navigating different parenting styles (this alone is worth the listen!).Bottom line: this isn't about being a perfect parent. It's about being an intentional one. Small, consistent shifts can totally have a massive impact on your child's future. Hope you love this one, because we just know you're going to walk away with tools you can use today! HEALERS & HEAL LINERS Punishment doesn't teach, modeling does: Punishment might stop behavior in the moment, but it doesn't create lasting change. Kids learn far more from what we show them than what we say or threaten.  Regulate first, teach later: When kids are in meltdown mode, their brains are in survival, not learning, mode. In those moments, your only job is to help them regulate (through movement, games, or calming their body). The teaching and boundaries come after they're calm. Repair is more powerful than perfection: You don't have to be a perfect parent, what matters most is how you show up after you mess up. Learning how to apologize, repair, and reconnect actually builds stronger relationships and emotional intelligence in your kids. Join Us at Heal Squad's Day of Reset: https://www.healsquad.com/reset  HEAL SQUAD SOCIALS IG: https://www.instagram.com/healsquad/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healsquadxmaria HEAL SQUAD RESOURCES: Heal Squad Website:https://www.healsquad.com/ Heal Squad x Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealSquad/membership Maria Menounos Website: https://www.mariamenounos.com My Curated Macy's Page: https://stylecrew.macys.com/@mariamenounos EMR-Tek Red Light: https://emr-tek.com/discount/Maria30 for 30% off Airbnb: https://www.airbnb.com/host AG1: drinkag1.com/healsquad  GUEST RESOURCES: Follow Jon Fogel (aka Whole Parent) on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wholeparent Follow Jon Fogel (aka Whole Parent) on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wholeparent Website: http://wholeparentacademy.com Order Punishment-Free Parenting: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/751238/punishment-free-parenting-by-jon-fogel/ The Whole Parent Podcast: https://www.wholeparentacademy.com/copy-of-about-jon-2 ABOUT MARIA MENOUNOS: Emmy Award-winning journalist, TV personality, actress, 2x NYT best-selling author, former pro-wrestler and brain tumor survivor, Maria Menounos' passion is to see others heal and to get better in all areas of life. ABOUT HEAL SQUAD x MARIA MENOUNOS: A daily digital talk-show that brings you the world's leading healers, experts, and celebrities to share groundbreaking secrets and tips to getting better in all areas of life. DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content (published or distributed by or on behalf of Maria Menounos or http://Mariamenounos.com and http://healsquad.com) is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company's Podcast are their own; not those of Maria Menounos or the Company. Accordingly, Maria Menounos and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions. This podcast is presented for exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for preventing, diagnosing, or treating a specific illness. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment.

If you've ever found yourself repeating the same direction six times, voice rising, before your child finally moves — this episode is for you. The truth is, you don't have a bad kid. And you're not a bad parent. What you have is a defective pattern. And patterns can be changed. In this solo episode, Albiona revisits one of the most downloaded and shared episodes on the show — why kids don't listen — and goes even deeper with real-life examples, coaching language you can use today, and the mindset shift that makes all the difference. Inside, she explores: →  What a “defective pattern” actually is — how kids collect data from their environment to decide when they actually have to listen, and why recognizing this changes everything →  The repeating cycle most parents are stuck in — and how priming your child ahead of time breaks it without yelling, threats, or emotional spirals →  The negotiation trap: why strong-willed kids learn to play the odds, how small moments of flexibility accidentally teach them to push limits, and what to do instead →  Why your action matters more than your words — how to give yourself something clear and followable so you stay regulated when your child tests the new pattern →  How to identify the pattern you've created, name the outcome you actually want, and build a new one — practically, without judgment, and in a way your child will respond to Connect with Albiona: →  Book a Free Discovery Call (1:1 Coaching) — https://www.theparentingreframe.com/coaching →  Follow Albiona on Instagram — @theparentingreframe →  Join Albiona's Paid Substack Community — https://theparentingreframe.substack.com →  Email Albiona directly — albiona@theparentingreframe.com Loved this episode? Please rate, review, and share it with a parent who's in the middle of a power struggle right now — the one who's exhausted, second-guessing themselves, and just needs to hear that there's a way through. Patterns are always fixable. And you've got this. Until next time, Albiona

Have you ever felt that soul-crushing mom guilt that comes from completely losing it on your own child — especially when you're supposed to be the one holding it all together while helping them with their big emotions?What if that guilt isn't the sign of a bad mom, but actually the sign of a great one?And what if there's so much more in your control than you think?In this episode, Emily Hamblin — neurodivergent mom, teacher, and emotion health coach for neurodivergent families — shares the brain science behind why you keep losing it, simple emotional regulation tools to catch yourself before you explode, and why your child's regulation journey and yours are more connected than you realize.You don't need more guilt. You need better tools. Let's find them.Connect with Emily on Instagram: instagram.com/emilyhamblincoachingJoin the Brain-Body Emotional Regulation for Neurodivergent Kids Waitlist at https://emily-hamblin.com

Dan discusses the importance of finding the right youth sports coach for your kids. He shares his own experiences coaching and playing sports, and talks to a coach with 53 years of experience about what makes a good coach. They also dive into the topic of coaches who yell at their players, with Dan arguing that it's a major red flag. The conversation is a must-listen for any parent looking to give their kids the best sports experience possible.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Does disciplining your teenager leave you feeling drained, angry, or like nothing is working?If every boundary turns into an argument, every consequence becomes a negotiation, and every hard moment ends in distance, this episode is for you.In this solo episode, Tess breaks down how to discipline teenagers in a way that teaches responsibility without damaging the relationship. She explains why the old model of more punishment, more talking, and more control often backfires with tweens and teens, and what to do instead.You'll hear how to use clear limits, calm consequences, and connected follow-up to guide your teen more effectively. Tess also shares practical, out-of-the-box discipline strategies that help rebuild trust, reduce power struggles, and increase respect over time.This episode draws on adolescent-development guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics and NIMH, along with CDC findings on parental monitoring and teen risk behavior.If you have been wondering:how to discipline teenagers without yellingwhat consequences actually work for teenshow to hold boundaries without constant conflicthow to rebuild trust after your teen breaks rulesthis episode will give you a more grounded and effective framework.You'll learn:the biggest discipline mistake many parents make with teenswhat healthy discipline needs in order to workunique ways to teach accountability, repair, and responsibilityphrases to use when your teen is disrespectful or pushes limitsListen now, share this episode with another parent of a tween or teen, and make sure you're connected with Tess for more support around parenting, boundaries, and communication.If you want help creating more calm, more structure, and more connection in your family, join the community and explore parent coaching support.⭐Got screen time problems at home, get the Tech Reset Agreement here

Raising your voice isn't the only form of that kind of communication. Here Mikel shows you a higher level understanding of yelling and how to better communicate with your team.

Plus size fashion news, brands I refuse to give my money to, and ranting about a new Serena Williams commercial promoting a CGM as a "wellness hack." 

Ever threatened something ridiculous in the heat of a parenting moment… like canceling Christmas?You're not alone.In this episode of the Sustainable Parenting Podcast, Flora McCormick shares a powerful shift that helps parents discipline without yelling, threatening, or escalating power struggles with kids.After working with a dad of three who found himself regularly reaching for extreme punishments when his kids ignored him, Flora introduces a simple but transformative tool: Notice + Curiosity Questions.Instead of commands like “Why can't you just listen?”, you'll learn how curiosity can help kids move into problem-solving mode and dramatically increase cooperation.You'll also learn:• Why discipline is meant to teach—not punish • How the “discipline pyramid” helps reduce constant consequences • The common Coo-Coo Cycle parents fall into with commands and punishments • How curiosity questions help stop power struggles with kids • A powerful reflection tool (WWHD) that teaches kids what to do differently next timeIf you're looking for positive discipline strategies, gentle discipline tools, and realistic ways to get kids to listen without yelling, this episode will give you practical language you can start using today.Because Sustainable Parenting is all about raising resilient, cooperative kids while staying a calm, confident parent.✨Want more?  ✨JOIN me in an upcoming event: https://sustainableparenting.com/events✨ Get my 3 KEYS to Calm, Confident Parenting (30 min. FREE webinar) - https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63640a05c74edb4b6bdce1f3✨ Buy a 3 session Coaching Bundle (saving you $100) - for THREE 30-min sessions 1:1 with ME, where we get right to the heart of your challenges, and give you small, powerful shifts that make a huge difference fast.✨Schedule a FREE 20 min clarity call with Sustainable Parenting, so we can answer any questions you may have about working with Flora.✨Purchase a $19 short course on Etsy✨

Still feeling stuck despite doing all the right things? Discover how trauma and your gut keep you stuck in stress mode—and what your body needs to heal. With Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, learn how calming dysregulation creates lasting change.When your nervous system has been under chronic stress—whether from childhood experiences or ongoing life demands—it adapts to survive. That can leave you living in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, even when life looks “fine” on the outside.This episode uncovers a powerful truth: it's not just stress. It's the deeper connection between trauma, hormones, and gut health that can keep you stuck in a cycle of dysregulation.Why can't my body settle down?When your nervous system has been under chronic stress—whether from childhood experiences or ongoing life demands—it adapts to survive.That can leave you living in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, even when life looks “fine” on the outside.This isn't a mindset issue. It's a body-based response.And over time, that dysregulation doesn't just affect emotions—it impacts your gut, immune system, and hormones, too.Does trauma always have to be extreme?Many people think trauma has to be extreme to count. But in reality, it often shows up in quieter ways, like:Growing up in a tense or critical homeFeeling like you had to be perfect to stay safeNot having emotional support or validationThese experiences shape how your nervous system responds to stress. You may have become high-achieving, independent, or “put together”—but underneath, your system may still feel unsafe.Why do anxiety, brain fog, and overwhelm suddenly spike during perimenopause and menopause?For many women, everything seems manageable—until it suddenly isn't.Perimenopause and menopause can act as a tipping point because hormone shifts lower your stress tolerance. That's when you might notice:Increased anxiety or irritabilitySleep disruptionsBrain fog or low moodFeeling overwhelmed by things you used to handleIt's not random. It's your body signaling that it can't compensate anymore.Yelling less and staying calm isn't about being perfect—it's about having the right tools.Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it.Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletterWhat is the gut–brain–hormone loop?Chronic stress raises cortisol, and over time, that can disrupt your gut in significant ways:Weakening the gut lining (often called “leaky gut”)Altering healthy bacteriaIncreasing inflammationFrom there, the gut sends distress signals back to the brain, affecting mood, focus, and emotional regulation.Add hormone fluctuations into the mix, and the system becomes even more reactive. This is why healing has to address the whole body—not just symptoms.How do patterns get passed down?One of the most important takeaways? Kids don't just inherit your genes—they absorb your nervous system patterns.If you're constantly overwhelmed, reactive, or anxious, your child's system learns that as the baseline. But the opposite is also true: when you create calm, you model regulation.

When calm words don't work, many parents feel stuck as their child escalates despite every effort to stay calm. This episode explains what the nervous system is signaling and how to respond effectively. Featuring insights from Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a leading expert in Regulation First Parenting™ and emotional dysregulation in children. If you've ever felt like your efforts aren't landing, you're not alone. Many parents are doing everything “right” while their child still struggles. The answer isn't more words—it's understanding the nervous system and meeting your child where they are.In this episode, I share why calm communication sometimes fails, what's happening in the brain during escalation, and a simple, practical strategy to help both you and your child regulate in real time.Why are my calm words not working when my child is upset?When your child is in an anxiety response, their nervous system has shifted into survival mode. In that state, the sympathetic nervous system takes over, and the thinking brain essentially goes offline.That means:Reasoning, listening, and problem-solving are not accessibleYour child may seem like they “can't hear you”Calm phrases like “use your words” or “take a breath” may not landReal-Life Example: A child mid-meltdown after school may appear defiant, but in reality, their brain is overwhelmed by stress and sensory input, making communication difficult.Key takeaways:Behavior is communication.The brain must feel safe before it can process language.Calm words alone aren't enough when the nervous system is dysregulated.Support your child's regulation with tools like Quick CALM, a simple way to help reset the nervous system in real time.What is happening in my child's brain during meltdowns?During intense emotional moments, the brain prioritizes survival over thinking. This creates an anxiety response where fight, flight, or freeze takes over.What this looks like in real life:Racing thoughts or negative thoughtsIncreased energy, yelling, or shutting downFeeling mentally drained or stuckReduced ability to access coping skillsWhen the system is overwhelmed, your child isn't choosing to ignore you—they simply can't access the skills you're asking for.Key takeaways:The brain needs regulation first before learning can happen.Stress, pressure, and overload reduce access to healthy coping strategies.This is not bad behavior—it's a dysregulated system in need of support.Yelling less and staying calm isn't about being perfect—it's about having the right tools.Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it.Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletter What should I do instead of repeating calm phrases?Instead of trying to talk your child out of dysregulation, the goal is to regulate first, then connect. One powerful tool shared in this episode is the “love pause.”This involves:Pausing before reactingTaking a deep breath to reset your own systemGiving space (even 3 seconds can matter)Responding from a calmer stateReal-Life Example: A parent notices their child escalating and chooses to pause, breathe, and quietly say, “I'm here. Let's slow down together,” instead of escalating the situation.Key takeaways:Your nervous system influences your child'sDeep breathing exercises can help regulate both of youSmall pauses create space for connection and safetyCalm energy is more powerful than calm words aloneWhy does my child seem more overwhelmed despite my efforts?Sometimes, even with the right intentions, increased interaction can unintentionally add more pressure. When a child is already overwhelmed, additional speaking, correcting, or explaining may increase stimulation.This can lead to:Feeling stuck or emotionally floodedIncreased sensory input overloadMore resistance or shutdownHeightened anxiety or frustrationKey takeaways:Less talking, more regulatingSupport the body before the conversationRecognize when your child needs space instead of instructionHow can I support my child's nervous system in daily life?Supporting regulation is about consistent, small practices that build safety over time. These micro steps can include:Practicing deep breathing togetherCreating predictable routines for sleep and transitionsEncouraging sensory breaks or movementModeling calm responses during stressOver time, these strategies help build resilience and improve emotional regulation.Key takeaways:Regulation is a practice, not a quick fixSmall, consistent actions create meaningful changeHope grows when the brain and body feel supported

- Get NordVPN with a special discount - https://www.nordvpn.com/goodareas - Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data plans! Use code 'goodareas' at checkout. Download Saily app or go to: https://saily.com/goodareas - This week on Wagon Wheel, Jarrod talks about why Ian Botham may not be in the upper echelon of All-Rounders. Is Cricket making a mistake by playing ODIs. How can First-Class cricket become financially feasible. And more fun stuff. - - To support the podcast please go to our Patreon page -  https://www.patreon.com/c/goodareaspodcast  - Head over to commbox.tv to learn more about our network. - This podcast is edited and mixed by Ishit Kuberkar,    he's at https://instagram.com/ishitk86 Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episode 10: The Trial Series Is Rutherford a bad witness? Why was Freeman's trial so public? What are the full combat rules for Barter By Combat on Orion? Why do the courts rely so much on technological evidence? Join Ashlyn and Rhianna as we discuss the Trial episodes in Lower Decks! This is the tenth episode of our Trial Series, where Ashlyn and Rhianna talk about the Trial episodes of every Star Trek show. SPOILER WARNING: Lower Decks Next time, we'll talk about a trial by combat in Prodigy! DISCLAIMER: We do not own any of the rights to Star Trek or its affiliations. This content is for review only. Our intro and outro is by Jerry Goldsmith. Rule of Acquisition #Rule 58: There is no substitute for success. Please check out our Patreon and donate any $1, $6, $10, or $20 per month to access exclusive episodes of trivia, documentary review, and reviews of every episode of The Animated Series, Lower Decks and the Short Treks, plus our mini-series. Head to https://www.patreon.com/thedurassisterspodcast for all this and more!

Today on Valentine In The Morning: Have you ever yelled at someone else’s kid? Vanessa explains a tricky situation amongst family members before she took matters into her own hands. Plus, we hear from men about tips they have when trying to get on their partner’s good side. Listen live every weekday from 5-10am Pacific: https://www.iheart.com/live/1043-myfm-173/Website: 1043myfm.com/valentineInstagram: @ValentineInTheMorningFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/valentineinthemorningTikTok: @ValentineInTheMorningSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Passion is great—until it turns into tension. In this episode, you'll get a practical framework for running ownership meetings with clarity, respect and accountability so you can build unity instead of resentment.   Next Steps:

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Get your questions in via the Talkback Mic for Justin's wife Jenn!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The most effective parents aren't the loudest—they're the most consistent. Summary Why do we yell at our kids, even when we know it doesn't work? In this episode, we unpack the hard truth behind yelling in parenting: it's often not a discipline strategy, but a reaction to stress, frustration, and lack of follow-through. While it may get quick results, it slowly weakens our authority and damages connection with our kids.  We talk about why yelling becomes a habit, what it's actually teaching our children, and how to replace it with calmer, more effective discipline. You'll walk away with simple, practical strategies to respond with intention instead of reaction, and build a home where your voice doesn't have to get louder to be heard.  This is a re-release of "Yelling, the Lazy Approach to Parenting". Key Takeaways Pause before reacting to your child.  Take a breath and step away if needed.  Get physically close.  Instead of yelling across the house, get up and go to them and make eye contact.   Use fewer words, but use them clearly.  Short instructions are better than long, angry diatribes.  Follow through consistently.  Sometimes kids don't listen the first time because you never made clear that is what you expect.  Address your own triggers. Notice when you tend to yell and plan ahead for those moments.  Make sure to repair the relationship when you mess up.  When we apologize we model humility and it can actually strengthen your relationship.   Couple Discussion Questions When are we most likely to yell at our kids? (Time of day, situation, stress level) How does yelling affect our relationship with them long-term? What would change in our home if the kids listened to us without raising our voices?

Recently, I realized I've been talking louder than usual. Spending more time taking care of my elders has changed how I communicate. I just have to remember to TURN IT OFF!Stay connected:* YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@shannoncasonstoryteller* Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shannoncason/* Twitter - https://twitter.com/shannoncason* Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ShannonCasonTalks* TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@shannoncasonSupport the stories:* Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/shannoncason* CashApp - https://cash.app/$ShannonCason* PayPal - https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/homemadestories1* Merch & more - https://www.shannoncason.com/Supporters get a mention on the next Homemade Stories Podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dave Rubin of "The Rubin Report" talks about Donald Trump getting into a heated yelling match with Ilhan Omar during his State of the Union address to Congress; CNN's Jake Tapper being one-upped live on-air by US Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy; CNN's Kasie Hunt putting Nancy Pelosi on the spot for Donald Trump singling her out in his comments on insider trading, which even Elizabeth Warren applauded; CNN's Abby Phillip belittling war heroes by comparing Donald Trump awarding them medals to a game show stunt; MSNOW's Symone Sanders attacking the Olympic gold medal winning USA hockey team for attending the State of the Union address; Scott Jennings talking to swing voters about Democrats deciding not to support the idea that American citizens should come before illegal immigrants; and much more. WATCH the MEMBER-EXCLUSIVE segment of the show here: https://rubinreport.locals.com/ Check out the NEW RUBIN REPORT MERCH here: https://daverubin.store/ ---------- Today's Sponsors: Polymarket -Go to http://polymarket.com to trade on the outcomes of live events from politics, pop culture, to sports and more! Ghostbed- Ghostbed mattresses have Cooling Features in EVERY Mattress that sense your body temp and adjusts – so you never get too hot or too cold.  Go to: http://ghostbed.com/rubin and use code RUBIN for an extra 10% off the best deal of the year!