The Query

"It's hard to regret anything that's taught, shown, or revealed something to you - especially relationships." ~ Robert Pruitt. In our quest to seek out the new - before moving forward - Pruitt encourages us to seek clarity about what we've learned from the old. We talk re-engaging love, dating, and marriage after break-ups, separation, and divorce. If soul mates are real? The critical distinction between warning flags and deal breakers (where's your list?) And the importance of dating yourself first. Credits: Robert Pruitt (www.robertpruitt.com) Music: "Former Fiancé" - by Electric Cowbell (CSC Funk Band) Audio Editor: Alicia Barrett

Data scientists believe the art of modern dating to be lost. We invite Robert Pruitt: life coach, author, and international motivational speaker, to guide us back to foundational principles of dating, and relationships. Are our beliefs sabotaging our success? Are we clear about the rules and messages upon which we live our lives, and how they drive our choices? Can healthy and unhealthy co-exist? Pruitt shares why our answers matter, and how they serve as a source of who and what shows up in our lives. Credits: Robert Pruitt (www.robertpruitt.com) Music: "Former Fiancé" - by Electric Cowbell (CSC Funk Band) Audio Editor: Alicia Barrett

What keeps us from experiencing the love we say we want? We answer listener questions... and discuss: resolving guilt, the importance of honesty, loyalty to family patterns, staying together for the kids, unhealthy marriages, the courage to walk away, the pain of staying, how to stop blowing up our lives... and more. Credits: Ken Kizer (www.kenkizer.com) Music: ‘Former Fiancé'–by Electric Cowbell (CSC Funk Band) Audio Editor: Alicia Barrett

"Love isn't all we need. We need direction." That's what Ken Kizer: spiritual life coach, expert leader in conscious breathwork, relationships, and astrology, wants us to know. In this first two-part episode of our 'Men, Wisdom, Love & Relationships' series–Ken directs us on finding the love of our lives–by consciously attracting, creating, and sustaining the relationships we most desire. Credits: Survey Reveals Just How Many People End Up With Their True Love Ken Kizer Music: ‘Former Fiancé'–by Electric Cowbell (CSC Funk Band) Audio Editor: Alicia Barrett

Inspired by the Caroline Myss TEDx Talk ‘Choices that can Change your Life' we discuss the principle and power of Choice. Mainly you'll hear about: - the energetic distinction between choice and decision - different types of choices and why they matter - how belief systems drive the direction of our choices - the essentialness of integrity - the necessity of personal development - shifting from victimization and fear into empowerment; and - why having a foundation to sustain our choices isn't really optional.   REFERENCES / CREDITS: Caroline Myss. TEDx Talk Portions of information shared herein are informed in part from the following organizations curricula: - Because I Matter, LLC - Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM

Last year, 2018 was predicted to be the “Year of Woman”. Countless women emerged from the shadows of silence, fear and shame into solidarity, to radicalize movements like Me Too and Times Up—which advocate against sexual violence and unequal treatment of women. Yet many voices remain missing from these conversations and movements. We discuss the absence of men, LGBTQIA community, minorities and the church, whose experiences of sexual violence and trauma remain silenced in the face of newfound solidarity.   REFERENCES / CREDITS: Experts: Males Also Are Victims of Sexual Assault. Department of Defense. J. Garamone Sexual Assault and the LGBTQ Community. Human Rights Campaign   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM

In her interview with Krista Tippett, civil rights icon Ruby Sales invites us to look into the collective consciousness of where we hurt. Sales “unsettles some of what we think we know about the force of religion in civil rights history, and names a “spiritual crisis of white America” as a calling of this time.” We discuss how historical shame in the white community has designed attitudes of denial and minimization towards the minority experience–and how wounds cannot heal until they cease being touched.   REFERENCES / CREDITS: Where Does It Hurt? with Ruby Sales (Mp3 interview and Transcripts) – Krista Tippet Where Does it Hurt?: Overcoming the Pain of White Supremacy with Ruby Sales – The Roundtable Intercultural Development Continuum (IDC™) – IDC describes a set of knowledge/attitude/skill sets or orientations toward cultural difference and commonality that are arrayed along a continuum from the more monocultural mindsets of Denial and Polarization through the transitional orientation of Minimization to the intercultural or global mindsets of Acceptance and Adaptation.   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM

In our most difficult show to date, recorded on the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and days after more racist remarks from President Donald Trump color negotiations for the protection status of black and brown immigrants; we look beyond a moment into how the international legacy of systemic racism has set a precedent of deciding which human life is valued, entitled, and worthy. While exasperation aggravates Manaz's feelings of separation, Melinda hopes in those working to make our world better.   REFERENCES / CREDITS: Divided island: How Haiti and the DR became two worlds History of Haiti by Bob Corbett, August 1999 The Emergency by Ben Taub, The New Yorker   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM

Forgiveness is often a word visited upon us by way of religiosity, spirituality, morality, addiction and recovery. Yet more than just a word that can be pressed upon us–forgiveness is a process that we get to practice until the weight of what we've been holding is cleared from our minds, bodies, energy and environments. Forgiveness is ours to both create and receive, in ways which invite us to tell our whole truth, feel all our feelings and care for ourselves along the way. Today, we examine this and more.     REFERENCES / CREDITS: • Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything, Iyanla Vanzant • Justice Matters, Mona Sue Weissmark – Justice as intergenerational, as interpersonal, and as compassion • Still Mostly True: Collected Stories and Drawings, Brian Andreas • The Forgiveness Handbook, Rev. Canon Marianne Wells Borg • The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness, Simon Weisenthal   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM  

Along with Trump, natural disasters and women's rights, Melinda talks surrendering attachments, new cast of clarity in her worldview, no longer fearing death, sitting with Koans, and Zen training. Manaz talks being okay with loving someone from her past, newfound sensual and sexual energy, relationship equality, and staying out of the Universes business. In our final episode this year, we share our most impactful moments, learnings and resolves, about 2017!   REFERENCES / CREDITS: Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM 

More than any other time in the year, the holiday season forces us to reckon with what's missing in our lives and to face what we may have managed to avoid: grief. The experiences of losing loved ones, relationships, jobs, finances, security, our sense of self, and physical or mental capabilities, can swallow us whole, leaving us raw and vulnerable to feelings and emotions of devastation and profound sadness. So, how do we take care of ourselves and others as we grieve? And where do we begin?   REFERENCES / CREDITS: Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM 

Family relationships are full of complexities and unique dynamics. Combining elements of stress, anxiety, toxic emotions, unresolved trauma, addiction, and grief to holiday gatherings, often exacerbate and deepen existing complexities and trigger emotional wounds. We discuss supportive steps to manage and move through trigger-filled holidays in ways we can feel safe and whole in the presence of loved ones–and more importantly, long after we bid farewell.     REFERENCES / CREDITS: Feelings Chart. Baton Rouge Counseling The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series. Melody Beattie Dysfunctional Family Bingo. Best Game Plan for Gatherings: Find Allies, Structure Time, Get in the Mindset Home for the Holidays: Tips for overcoming holiday anxiety and stress. R Morgan Griffin   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz    CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM 

“Either you understand how shame operates in your life, or it operates your life.” - Brene Brown Is the experience of shame a choice? Can shame be disempowered when we choose not to be trapped, powerless and isolated? In a continuation of our last episode where we outlined shame, we introduce Shame Resilience: a practice with tools to engage feelings of empathy, connection, power, and freedom. We also discuss the gender divide in how shame and resilience is explored differently between men and women. IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL FIND MORE ABOUT:   The elements of Shame Resilience Practical, self-supporting ways to disengage shame Specific resilience tools for men The cost of being out of shame Why “it's hard” is not a valid excuse The importance of examining our unconscious and conscious relationships with shame How identifying specific thoughts, feelings, emotions and belief systems are essential to shame resilience Moderating resilience through planning and practice Creating safe connections with others     REFERENCES / CREDITS: Guided Meditations. Tara Brach Shame Resilience Theory by Brene Brown (video and readings). Habits for Wellbeing Shame Shields. The Armor We Use to Protect Ourselves and Why It Doesn't Serve Us. Linda Hartling Messages of Shame Are Organized Around Gender.  Anthony Hinds Open Path Psychotherapy Collective – Therapy Directory   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz    CONNECT: Website: The Query Podcast Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM 

When you think of shame and guilt, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Are they attached to a story? Has the story been holding you hostage; zapping your life of vitality creativity, and joy? As shame cannot live amongst words, today we expose shame through unpacking and examining the baggage of hurt, anger, loneliness, regret, disappointment, humiliation, embarrassment, fear and unforgiveness, that we attach to our identities. We discuss how this emotion can be transformed by reexamining our thinking, and owning our power to reframe and recreate our stories.     IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL FIND MORE ABOUT:   Distinctions between shame and guilt   How to know when shame is happening   Cognitive and physiological responses to shame   The danger of comparison   The essentialness of creative expression to authenticity and vitality   Strategies of disconnection   How we collect and share shame with others   How we distort our relationships because of shame   Owning our power to choose   Reframing experiences and stories attached to shame   Our individual shame stories and how we recovered     REFERENCES / CREDITS: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead — Brené Brown Listening to shame — Brené Brown The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom — Don Miguel Ruiz   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz    CONNECT: Facebook: The Query Podcast Email: thequerypodcast@gmail.com Rate us on iTunes Podcasts or PlayerFM   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM

Is social equality an achievable or desirable goal? Statistics in 2016 showed that 4 out of 10 African-Americans said they doubt the nation will ever achieve racial equality but as many white Americans believed it has been achieved. In this episode, we ask ourselves is this too much to think about or is it worth fighting for?   IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL FIND MORE ABOUT   What is social equality? The different ways in which people of color self-identify. The unpopular message of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. before his execution. Are we returning back to the middle age? Is there a way forward? Why Manaz is tired of it all.   REFERENCES/CREDITS   On Views of Race and Inequality, Blacks and Whites Are Worlds Apart - Pew Research Center Study Shows Blacks Will NEVER Gain Wealth Parity With Whites Under the Current System - Black Agenda Report    Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz   CONTACT US: thequerypodcast@gmail.com   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM

With this being our first episode, we, Manaz and Melinda, introduce ourselves, how we met, and why we began this podcast. Deeper in, we discuss race in construct, intention and deception. We strongly believe separation is an illusion we keep returning to and we're willing to talk about it.   IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL FIND MORE ABOUT   Our working definitions of ‘white and race'. How race identification was constructed. Why white people in largely segregated communities don't tap into the pool of rage and hurt. What race was intended to do and be? How avoiding conversations about race is connected to avoidance in other areas of our lives. The deception of race.   REFERENCES/CREDITS   I Am Not Your Negro - James Baldwin James Baldwin and the Meaning of Whiteness - Common Dreams Construct of Race  - PBS Peculiar Institution: Slavery in the Ante-Bellum South - Kenneth Stamp The People's History of the United States  - Howard Zinn   Music: Burning by Tri-Tachyon Producer: Oleksandr Hedz - PodcastAssistant.net   CONTACT US: thequerypodcast@gmail.com   SUBSCRIBE TO THE QUERY PODCAST: The Query Podcast on iTunes The podcast app for Android that we recommend (Player FM) The Query Podcast on Player FM