You Got Jobbed

An employee from the department of motor vehicles has to clean up poop someone smeared on the walls after they took his license away. An obituary clerk has a co-worker who says, "people are dying to get into the paper."

A wedding dress salesperson and a pathologist's assistant. Also an 80s countdown and the new Jordan Peele movie trailer.

This week I talk about the nightmare that was Brigantine Castle, NJ. Also, a woman makes Christmas wreaths and another woman makes donuts in a building with stairs that lead nowhere.

Cheese sculptor and Casino surveillance employee! Also decapitated mouse ornament and banana-peel-style fall!

Tom worked on a Christmas tree lot. It was not fun. Also I worked on a construction site installing door stops. Also I'm on twitter, can't you like my #birbigsunderstudy thing so I don't feel like such a loser? @iloveusue

This week: Jen Belt at a law office babysitting a pig, Elizabeth Griffin taught (and learned) how to log roll, another woman shipped tuna, and then a guy worked at a strip club called Tuna's. It all comes back around.

Geoff Fox is a meteorologist with a long career in Connecticut. Jake Vick makes inflatable things, like the boob bounce-house from the Museum of Sex in NY.

Pest control salesman and prairie dog relocator. No one wants animals around. One day THEY WILL DESTROY US! Or not. This podcast does not have the answers.

Wearing a bee beard at a bee farm; Shooting rats at an animal rehab center

Nick Jurkowski ate ostriches

I worked at a pizza place, and Gloria Steinem wants me to keep podcasting...

Abby Markson (from episode 11) is back to talk about a variety of crappy jobs and one bad car accident. Also covered: Jon Hamm on the dating game, Cheba Hut, and the elusive Loverboy album cover.

I’m interviewing myself this week. Come listen to what it was like to work at a titanium plant. I charm some men from the French Navy and hilarity (and diarrhea) ensues.

This episode is just, well, I don't know. Listen at your own risk. You may never get this time back…

Gil Prowler is a cameraman who’s seen it all. Stunts, alligators, Van Halen, Mohammed Ali, Manny Pacquiao, gophers, Santana, hot bods, hair growing, and paint drying. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/gil-prowler-has-not-yet-been-eaten-by-a-bear

Ken Doyle, safecracker extraordinaire, talks about his time as a paramedic, responding to a variety of horrific calls. If you have a weak stomach, this may not be the episode for you. And just another note! Guess how many people have jumped off of the Golden Gate Bridge and lived? 26! Is that more or less than you thought?

Sorry for the pun. Samuel Thornhill, owner of MasAppetit.com, talks about his crazy path from the music to the insurance industry, onto personal chef and wine stomper.

Happy Holidays to Taylor Swift fans everywhere! Hope to do more episodes in the new year.

Haley DeLeon plays in a wedding band with her family. She played her first weddings at age 12! She plays accordion and violin, but can play drums if the drummer needs to use the bathroom. Original interview with her twin sister here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/zoe-deleon-and-the-family-band

Justine Coldwater drives the bookmobile! She talks about her sweet new ride (it replaced a sad old school bus), about her patrons, and the history of bookmobiles. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/justine-coldwater-no-keys-in-the-ignition

Rachael Burke started her young career at a lampshade store in Vermont. Later, she won a dance competition on Jimmy Fallon and performed with Jimmy and the Roots. Now she works for him! I actually thought the interview was going to be about lampshades. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/rachael-burke-apprentice-to-the-lampshade-lady

Mike begrudgingly joins me to talk about a few of his friends. One was a movie extra for a brief period of time. The other catalogued porn. Original interviews here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-interview-with-matt-haze-former-movie-extra https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/buying-malt-liquor-with-nickels

In the 80s Kim Engler worked at a now-defunct amusement park in Northeast PA. She ran the Scrambler at Angela Park, a great place with a garbage-eating pig trash can and Olympic-sized pool. Original McSweeney’s interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-ran-the-scrambler-an-interview-with-kim-engler

Dexter O’Connell is a referee who has been yelled at in every language of eastern Europe. He drops some Globetrotters knowledge, for example, how many times have the Globetrotters lost? Listen to find out! (Or Google it…) Original McSweeney’s interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/dexter-oconnell-referee

John Ertle tells us what goes on at a cemetery when you’re not there. He’s crawled down into graves and removed thousands of tiny flags for Memorial Day. He says it’s OK if Suzanne gets a huge statue of herself doing a Rocky-style pose for her gravestone. Original McSweeney’s interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/john-ertle-buries-dead-people

Avril and I read an interview about selling knives door-to-door. We also cover the definitions of diaphragm, wrestling movies, Days of Our Lives, Bon Jovi, Avon, and Hempfest. Original McSweeney’s interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/never-been-to-jitterbugs-an-interview-with-michele-beardsley

Erica Jameson runs a camp that’s been in her family since the 1930s. We talk about animals and how to kill them, as well as that old camp standard--Bloody Mary. In the last 10 minutes, my daughter steps in to ask some hot-button camp questions and to give “shout outs” to kids in her class. Original McSweeney’s interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/erica-jameson-is-not-crazy-nor-in-a-cult

Avril and I discuss airplane drama, 80s trivia, and her mom, who called BINGO for a brief time in the 80s. Original McSweeney’s interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jackie-watson-on-calling-bingo

Allison Williams had a long career as a fire-eating, whip-cracking trapeze artist. She talks about what it's like to put fuel in your mouth and to use a whip to crack celery out from between some guy's legs. Original McSweeney’s interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-eat-camping-fuel-an-interview-with-allison-williams

This week Avril and I talk about what it's like to work at a sperm bank, and what it takes to be a firewalk instructor. Needless to say, we know nothing about either. Original McSweeney’s interviews: here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-sperm-bank-an-interview-with-dina-n https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-interview-with-robert-cork-kallen-certified-firewalk-instructor

Preston Smith, who works in a jail, talks about how weapons are made from toothbrushes, how women hide food in their “purse,” and how farting causes the most fights.

Larry worked for the Air Force, back when there was budget for researching UFO sightings. Now the aliens will probably just catch all of us unawares… Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tell-me-about-your-lights-in-the-sky-an-interview-with-larry-haapanen

Dave Norman is a writer who wrote about paintball until the industry dried up. He’s met William Shatner and Russians making tanks to play paintball. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/dave-norman-and-the-paintball-invasion-of-normandy

Kari was a lifeguard back when there were no real rules for lifeguards. Avril and I talk about this job, and Ludacris, and a car called a Comet. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/saving-lives-and-doing-dip-an-interview-with-kari-former-lifeguard

Phil So was an ice cream truck driver for a brief time. Hear about the ins and outs of how he held his territory. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/phil-so-sold-ice-cream-to-your-children

This week, Avril Watson and I discuss Tom Cooney, who worked at a potato chip factory. We also touch on 80s telephones, solar panels, and scorpions. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wearing-a-shower-cap-and-raking-the-chips-an-interview-with-tom-cooney

Going to mix up the podcast. Some will be with the interviewees, and some will be reading the interviews without the interviewee present. Give me feedback! @iloveusue on twitter, facebook.com/suzanneyeagley or suzanneyeagley.com.

Shelby Frantz worked in two huge haunted houses in Kansas. Drunk people yelled at her. She was an angel. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/shelby-frantz-come-home-with-me-i-drive-a-chevy

Abby Markson is a former “clothing exchange” employee who lived in LA and saw all kinds of nasty things. She has also taught music and been in bands, and collected fur for orphaned animals (long story).

Stephan Horvath wants you to remain calm when your kid has lice. It could be worse (listen till the end if you want to know how). Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/stephan-horvath-picks-out-the-lice

Ken Doyle and Ken Dunckel continue with safecracking and locksmith stories. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ken-doyle-safecracker

Safecracking for fun and profit with Ken Doyle and Ken Dunckel! Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ken-doyle-safecracker Also, I know you probably can't find your password, but please rate/review on iTunes. It would mean a lot to me.

Gabriel Harley talks about being a record producer and audio engineer in rural Indiana. Original interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/gabriel-harley-record-producer

Amy Rose dressed like Zippy the mailbox. Also sings barbershop quartet. Original interview is here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/just-call-me-zippy-an-interview-with-amy-rose

Christopher Brune Horan talks about maggots and other dead things. Original interview is here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/christopher-brune-horan-lifting-three-garbage-cans-for-every-one-of-yours

Mona McCune talks about her first job in high school and the most dramatic way she's ever quit.

Aaron has been a janitor, hot dog employee, shipping boss, hospital chef, typewriter intern. He listened to all of War and Peace on audio book cassettes. Interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/on-the-night-shift-an-interview-with-aaron-bostian-on-vacuuming-scrubbing-and-mopping

Avril Watson, former magician’s assistant, gets herself and others in trouble with the law. Interview here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-interview-with-avril-watson-former-magicians-assistant

Welcome to You Got Jobbed -- unforgettable stories about people and jobs. This podcast is based on the "interesting or unusual jobs" column from mcsweeneys.net. See yougotjobbed.com for details.