Podcasts about swan queen

Natalie Portman, the young and ambitious ballet dancer, takes on her first lead role as the Swan Queen in the classic ballet, Swan Lake. Portman steps into the spotlight, taking the place of the character Beth Macintyre, the once famous and favorited dancer of them all, now being tossed aside as her youth begins to fade. Take a wild guess which actress is covering that role...

Growing up, Ashton Edwards spent hours watching videos of famous ballerinas. Ashton loved the ballet “Swan Lake” – especially the role of the Swan Queen. But they noticed that only female dancers danced that role, and got to dance on pointe.  One day, years later, they decided to put on a pair of pointe shoes anyway. Say hello on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Follow the show and review us on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2BmMZr5 Want to listen to This is Love ad-free? Sign up for Criminal Plus – you'll get This is Love, Criminal, and Phoebe Reads a Mystery ad-free. Plus, behind-the-scenes bonus episodes of Criminal and other exclusive benefits. Learn more and sign up here. We also make Criminal and Phoebe Reads a Mystery. Artwork by Julienne Alexander. Check out our online shop. Episode transcripts are posted on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses potentially triggering topics including suicide, self-harm, and eating disorders. Welcome back to Analyze Scripts, where a psychiatrist and a therapist analyze what Hollywood gets right and wrong about mental health. As two dancers, Dr. Furey and Portia were thrilled to revisit the 2010 psychological thriller "Black Swan" starring Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, and Winona Ryder. In this episode, we analyze the masterful depiction of Nina's first psychotic break and wonder if the character Lily was real or a hallucination. We also discussing toxic dance culture and discuss the differences between anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. We hope you enjoy! Analyze Scripts Instagram Analyze Scripts TikTok Analyze Scripts YouTube Analyze Scripts Website [00:17] Portia Pendleton: Hi there. So, yeah, before we get started today, I just kind of wanted to give a little trigger warning for some of the content. We will be discussing the film Black Swan. And there are some themes of suicide, self harm and eating disorders that we're going to discuss. So if that is something that is triggering or might be upsetting to you. [00:34] Dr. Katrina Furey: Please feel free to skip this episode. [00:36] Portia Pendleton: And catch us next time. Thanks. [00:42] Dr. Katrina Furey: Hi. Welcome back to another episode of Analyze Scripts. I'm Dr. Katrina Fury, a psychiatrist, and I'm joined by my friend and colleague. [00:50] Portia Pendleton: Portia Pendleton, a licensed social worker. [00:53] Dr. Katrina Furey: We are just going to dive right in today. We're talking about the 2010 psychological thriller Black Swan. There's so much to talk about. So we just got to dive right in. Portia oh. [01:04] Portia Pendleton: So I saw this movie in theaters when it came out. [01:06] Dr. Katrina Furey: I think I had a couple of times. [01:08] Portia Pendleton: Yay. Like dance movie. [01:09] Dr. Katrina Furey: I think I went with some of my dance friends. [01:11] Portia Pendleton: Yeah, it was supposed to be I actually don't think I knew that it was like a psychological thriller. [01:17] Dr. Katrina Furey: Do you think it was going to be like center stage? [01:18] Portia Pendleton: Yes. I was expecting it to just be kind of like toxic ballet culture and some relationships. I went with my at the time boyfriend and now current partner. And I think he was traumatized from it. He was very confused. And I left that movie feeling like gross. Oh, yeah, I can remember it. [01:47] Dr. Katrina Furey: I remember you told me when I recommended this, you shuddered. And you were like, well, I'll have to watch it during the daylight hours. [01:54] Portia Pendleton: Yeah, I don't know. And maybe we will talk about this a little bit. Like if it's because it hit on stuff for me. But oh my gosh, there were just so many moments that I feel like physically make my skin crawl and make me feel so uncomfortable and shudder almost. [02:15] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah. It's a beautiful movie, period. I think it was nominated for a bunch of Oscars. I think Natalie Portman won an Oscar for best actress, rightfully so. But even like the physical stuff, like her scratches and skin peeling and all of those things. Exactly. And I think it's meant to make. [02:36] Portia Pendleton: You feel that way. Yes. I feel like I'm very. [02:41] Dr. Katrina Furey: Visually impacted. [02:43] Portia Pendleton: I guess in previous episodes, I talked about vomit a lot. Like, seeing actual vomit makes me crazy. But I work with people who sell farm and we've all seen, I'm sure, especially you in your training, like scars and even fresh cut wounds and things like that. That is just not bothersome to me at this point. But seeing someone peel their skin back, that literally makes me shudder. I feel like it's meant not, but. [03:12] Dr. Katrina Furey: I think it's totally meant to there when she's washing her hands on that scene. I think we all know what we're referring to there. But so to give a recap of the plot if you haven't watched it in a while. So this movie focuses on Nina, who is, like, prima ballerina, I think, in New York City Ballet. It seems like they're implying. And she really wants to be the lead dancer, the principal dancer in her company's production. She sort of goes back and forth with another character, Lily, who's played by Mila Kunis. A lot to say about her. And then her mother, nina's mother is played by Barbara Hershey. That dynamic. And their home is fascinating. I'm sure we'll get into it. And then there's, like, this gross director. We'll talk more about him, too, and. [04:11] Portia Pendleton: Then I totally forgot about her. But Winona Ryder makes his parents as Beth, like, the retiring maybe on being forced to prima ballerina. [04:21] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah, exactly. And so I believe this movie really amazingly predicts, nina's first psychotic break. Is that how you interpreted it, too, or did you see other things? [04:35] Portia Pendleton: No, I mean, I don't know what else I would call that. Yeah, I think throughout the movie, we see the really the final push right into that. But I have many questions, as I'm sure many people do. It's like, how did you get here and why? So I think the movie just starts off right away. We see this kind of relationship with mom. It almost feels a little bit like Mommy dear. [05:06] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yes, I was going to say the same thing 100%. [05:09] Portia Pendleton: It feels real icky. [05:11] Dr. Katrina Furey: Like, even Nina, she looks like she's meant to be, like, in her twenty s, I would guess, right. She alludes a couple of times to Beth being, like, 27 or 28. So she's, like, too old now to dance. So I think she's in her early 20s, maybe mid 20s. Like, maybe she's getting there. But she's, like, so infantilized, very childlike. Like, her room still has, like, pink flowers everywhere. Her mom tucks her in, brushes her hair. What did you think about when the mom fed her breakfast of a big old grapefruit and egg white? [05:45] Portia Pendleton: I was like, oh, that's pretty spot on, I think, for, like, I'd say, right, like, toxic ballet culture to kind of remain very small in your body. Which is, I think, kind of a crazy feat because the amount of work that it takes to be a ballerina a ballerina. I mean, it's you are so strong, even though you look so small, like crazy. [06:11] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah. [06:11] Portia Pendleton: I mean, your entire body physique is just muscle and strength. [06:18] Dr. Katrina Furey: Right. But I thought it would depicted it so perfectly that they're so thin. They're, like, scary thin. I felt uncomfortable watching them. I remembered back then they had talked about Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis had talked about how much weight they had to lose. And they are already petite, period, like, just by themselves. But they both and I looked it up after I rewatched the movie, lost, like, at least £20 following these crazy, restrictive diets. And on the one hand, I'm like, that's really accurate for the roles they're playing. On the other hand, I feel really gross about that, just like in our society. And it makes me worry for them that they were able to sustain that, to play these roles and train. [07:00] Portia Pendleton: Right. [07:01] Dr. Katrina Furey: Mila Kunis said that she survived on carrots and cigarettes, which is shocking. But yeah, I mean, they both looked so gaunt. And there's that physical therapy scene where someone's working on Nina and you just see her ribs, and it's just like, again, talk about feeling, like, visually uncomfortable, right? [07:22] Portia Pendleton: I mean, it's like you're all kind of bones and so even kind of stepping away from the story a little bit. Like when she gets dropped on her knee, like, her ankle kind of snapping. At one point, I was so worried. [07:36] Dr. Katrina Furey: About her bone density, just even from. [07:39] Portia Pendleton: Being a dance, I guess. Specific ballet. I feel like I have a lot of physical. [07:46] Dr. Katrina Furey: How do I say this? [07:48] Portia Pendleton: Physical trauma from the act of dancing. Bleeding toes. Or I have knee problems. And so I think a movie like this, for me, again, really hits me in a physical sensation when she's on. [08:04] Dr. Katrina Furey: Her know what that feels like. [08:05] Portia Pendleton: Oh, my gosh. Definitely my body tightened up exactly how that feels. Her getting the physical therapy, like you were just saying, it's brutal. The amount of training and pain that people at this level, I do believe and will say exist 100%. [08:28] Dr. Katrina Furey: And I did appreciate in this movie that they really did show that. Especially, like, the dancer's feet, because, of course, when you're on point, your feet are disgusting. You have all these blisters, your toenails break. There's such physical trauma to your body and your feet. And they really displayed that in this movie. And I also was so curious. All of the ballerina's outfits, like their leotards, the shrugs they were wearing. All this stuff is just so accurate. And I also feel like now, looking at it as a physician, I'm so worried about all their labs. They probably all have labs suggestive of anorexia. They're probably all freezing all the time. [09:08] Portia Pendleton: They probably all have a mennorrhea, so they are not getting their period. [09:12] Dr. Katrina Furey: They probably every time she fell, I was so worried she was going to break something because I don't think I bet she has osteoporosis because she's not fueling herself. Like how gleeful she was at how pink that grapefruit was. So perfect. Like, such a good scene. But she clearly has an eating disorder. And then when her mom gets her the cake what did you think about that scene and the mom's reaction? [09:38] Portia Pendleton: I thought it was interesting because I feel like the mom, on the one hand, really wants her right to be this, like, prima ballerina. And I feel like, you know what? [09:44] Dr. Katrina Furey: The mom could never be, it sounds like because she got pregnant with her. [09:47] Portia Pendleton: And so she serves her typically because, again, she is treated like a child, typically, like, pretty low calorically, dense food. And then it's like, you get her. [09:56] Dr. Katrina Furey: This cake for a party size. [09:58] Portia Pendleton: You're cutting her this big piece. Nina right. [10:02] Dr. Katrina Furey: To celebrate that, she was chosen to be a Swan Queen. [10:05] Portia Pendleton: So Nina is like, oh, I want a little smaller. And mom immediately is, like, so hurt. [10:10] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah. [10:12] Portia Pendleton: Puts it right back on Nina. I'm going to throw it away. Makes Nina feel bad. Nina then apologizes and then eats it anyway. I'm sure she probably threw it up, but it was, like, a very strange moment besides Mom's mental health issues. But just like, you want your daughter to be this person. Let me back up a little bit. I felt like through the movie, the mom comes across as Mommy dearest. Like, kind of like abusive, weird, like manipulative, narcissistic. [10:43] Dr. Katrina Furey: And we did see that dynamic. Remember, in center stage with that ballerina and her mom. [10:49] Portia Pendleton: That's interesting too. [10:50] Dr. Katrina Furey: Do you remember that? I forget that ballerina's name. But that mom was also really involved in calling around and also involved. It's really similar. And I wonder if that's again, part of the ballet culture, if that happens. [11:02] Portia Pendleton: Yeah. So mom, in some ways, is trying to protect Nina. And it's almost like at the end, she sees Nina literally falling apart and losing her mind and doesn't want her to go through the role, obviously. Then Nina feels like then she ends up going to perform. That is later in the movie. But I thought that that was different. At first, mom comes across as just really inappropriate. [11:30] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah. [11:30] Portia Pendleton: Just the paintings of Nina all over. [11:34] Dr. Katrina Furey: There's some things in the movie that I'm sure we'll get into more that I really wondered about Nina's perception of it. And I wondered, are those paintings of her or are those examples of her hallucinating? But certainly the mom, it's just weird. It's just weird. They're very enmeshed. Mom strips off her clothes and brings her to clip her nails because she sees her scratching. It's just icky. [12:01] Portia Pendleton: It gives me the ick. [12:03] Dr. Katrina Furey: It's a really dysfunctional relationship. [12:05] Portia Pendleton: Mom emerges from the dark of the apartment. At times. It's always like it's startling. It's scary. It feels like the mom is coming in to be mean. And I think you hit the nail on the head with what I was trying to allude to is, like, it's hard to know if mom is really as bad as she is or if it's Nina's perception paranoia. Right. Like, all kind of coming out throughout the movie. And I think initially, it seems like, really clear mom has all these issues. She's not a good mom. She's, like, making Nina to be this way, in my opinion. Then by the end of the movie, I'm really questioning, was she really that bad? Was she even really in the room? Was she really even coming in? I mean, right? [12:49] Dr. Katrina Furey: 100%. Like, when she finally got that stick of some kind to keep her door shut when she was masturbating and turns over and mom's right there. Those kinds of scenes are just, like, no boundaries. But, yeah, I think it's a really interesting depiction of a toxic mother daughter relationship. But again, I think, like, Ford Nina's story and thinking about her first break. So we know that first psychotic breaks most often occur in that time frame for women. Like, between your twenty s and thirty s. For men, it's a little younger. It might be like late teens into your twenty s. And again, so you're like, okay, so let's rewind. And how did she get here? Like you were saying? So she has this relationship with her mom where she feels like she's supposed to be this prima ballerina her mother never could be. And she even said that thing to her about at one point. Nina is like, what career? To her mother and her mom's like, well, I would have had one if it weren't for you kind of thing. That's really toxic. But just thinking about the stress of that relationship, there's no dad in the picture or even alluded to. So we don't even know what kind of stress was there. What kind of stress was Nina under as a child growing up with this huge expectation on her? Who even knows if she wants it? So that's like A, and then B, we see that she seems to have a very neurotic personality. And I'd love for you to speak more to that, especially in your line of work. [14:22] Portia Pendleton: Yeah, I mean, it seems like, right? Like, one, it's not a causation, but it's often a correlation. Right. So it's narotic a little bit Type A, I'd say, or a lot Type A compulsive. Again, there are a lot of rituals that kind of come out in just like I think the job right. It's like tying your point shoes a certain way. It's like you do all these things that are very ritualized and rich and rigid, and I think it's like a perfect opening for I think there's a lot of ballerinas, in my opinion, who probably do have OCD, probably are perfectionistic, 100%. And I think all of these traits and symptoms really kind of do fit hand in hand with eating disorders, both bulimia and anorexia. I think you see quite frequently in dance self harm. I think it's just, for whatever reason, it breeds just this type of person. Chicken or the egg. [15:25] Dr. Katrina Furey: Right. [15:25] Portia Pendleton: I mean, I think if you think. [15:26] Dr. Katrina Furey: About ballet, to take ballet classes, how many classes Nina has taken over the course of her life? Probably from the age of, like, three. Ballet classes aren't the most exciting thing to do. [15:41] Portia Pendleton: Very repetitive. [15:42] Dr. Katrina Furey: Very repetitive. Boring. It's always classical music. Again, it's beautiful, but it takes a certain kind of personality to tolerate that and to do it to such a degree. These people are taking, like, seven classes a week this isn't like just once a week. You're doing it, and you've done it. [16:02] Portia Pendleton: For years at that level. [16:03] Dr. Katrina Furey: Exactly. And to be on point, point hurts so bad. I remember I was so excited to finally get on point, and I was not the best ballerina, so it was like, late high school, and as soon as I did, I was like, I hate this, it hurts so bad. But to keep doing it despite the pain again, sounds like such a parallel with anorexia, like, being able to keep depriving yourself despite that physical pain, and. [16:31] Portia Pendleton: Ultimately it's sometimes getting a little bit of pleasure from it. I feel like there's two ends of the spectrum. It's either, like, you're kind of numbing everything or you can kind of develop specific to anorexia, like a level of euphoria around starvation. And I think research says that also just fun. Fact anorexia really is the rarest eating disorder by far, and it's the most. [16:51] Dr. Katrina Furey: Fatal mental illness depicted, though. [16:53] Portia Pendleton: So I think when we think of eating disorders, we think of anorexia, but that's not true. Anorexia is more rare, and like you said, it has the most fatalities. And there's really a certain type of profile that can maintain anorexia. Typically, people might start restricting and then kind of lean into bulimia because you cannot do it for that long. [17:17] Dr. Katrina Furey: Right. Your biological drive to eat kicks in. Most people, if you can really push past that, like, whoa. [17:24] Portia Pendleton: Right? I don't want to say normal, but it's really not part of a general experience to be able to do that. That's why we get all these signals. We get hangry, we get irritable. It's like our body's way of cueing us to eat, and most people don't feel good doing that. So it's like, there's this flair. I think it's a lot of genetic research. It's like, what makes some people be able to develop and maintain this disorder for sometimes, really sadly, like, decades. And why, you know, can't others do it? And it seems like there is some sort of a gene marker that makes, like, extreme hunger desirable, almost fascinating. It is really opposite of our human nature. Our human nature kicks in and we need to survive. So food and water and shelter is all a part of that. So it's like when your body is screaming at you that eating is dangerous. It's like that is so injecting that you are able to kind of over. [18:25] Dr. Katrina Furey: In your brain and see the neural networks are just like flip flops. I wonder if there is some sort of, like, if there's so little, like, dopamine, which is, like one of the pleasure neurotransmitters, like, what's their dopamine? Like, does it bump up the longer they go without eating? Yeah, it just sounds so fascinating. [18:47] Portia Pendleton: Like, everything is controlled. And you even see with Nina, like, that night that she kind of goes out on the town with Lily, that's not something that she literally has ever done. She does this routine, she practices. Her life is very controlled. [19:01] Dr. Katrina Furey: Life is all ballet in her mind. Right. [19:03] Portia Pendleton: And I think that is a similar profile. Again, with someone who has really classic anorexia. It's like everything is controlled. There's no small you're not even going out to, like, a concert and having fun. You can't it's stressful to go. [19:14] Dr. Katrina Furey: Right? It's like your world is so small and just totally consumed by this. And then I think with such severe malnutrition, your brain just isn't functioning. [19:28] Portia Pendleton: You're more anxious, you're more depressed. And I always kind of say to patients, like, you don't have depression first. You probably never would have self harmed. You never would have wanted to kill yourself. I think it's about even with death rates of anorexia by medical complications, heart complications, and suicide. [19:51] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah. [19:51] Portia Pendleton: And I think it's like most of these people without anorexia would not have these other disorders that arise because your brain is kind of solo functioning, right? [20:00] Dr. Katrina Furey: 100%. I feel like it's interesting, I think our different perspectives here, Portia, because you do this all the time. That's why I'm fascinated to talk to you about this movie. But I see it come up when people are like, I think I have Add, and they come to me and they're like, £90 and we have a totally different discussion, like you're talking about. And I'm like, no. And also, again, it's like, no, you can't focus because you have no energy source in your brain. And I would never start a stimulant on you because your heart is already compromised. You're already so thin. It's just really fascinating. And I did think this movie did such a good job, and Natalie Portman did such a good job just portraying that obsessive pattern that you see in this character and probably in a lot of ballerinas, maybe. And I think it's also the culture. Like, the ballerina body type is so unattainable for, like, 99.9% of the world, I would imagine. And the technique you need, the turnout you need, all of it is so hard. And so you have to practice so much to get there. It's just this unattainable standard and goal that just feeds into breeding, this perfectionism, this obsessiveness, the rituals, the diets, the everything to get to this unattainable point. And I think we see Nina have a psychotic break under that level of stress. [21:32] Portia Pendleton: And I think, too, what I think is really hard is while you are performing oftentimes in a core, so in the corpse, which means with the group of people, you're not the prima ballet arena who's in the lead role, you're. [21:49] Dr. Katrina Furey: All this other swans. Right. [21:50] Portia Pendleton: And it's like that still at a level like the New York City Ballet, american Ballet Theater is like the highest of the high, but it's so uniquely like an individual sport still. Right. Like, you're not a soccer team where it's like you're passing back and forth and the team is celebrating. It's weirdly. Very individual. Even though you're competitive together, it's wildly competitive. And I think, again, feel like a failure. It just breeds this type of person who chooses to go into it, who. [22:19] Dr. Katrina Furey: Sticks with it to this level. And again, you're so right. That's such a blow to their self esteem. You see Nina come home and just fall apart with her mom when she thinks she's not going to be picked. And she's tried so hard and she's still not good enough. It just feeds this almost I want to say narcissistic, but in the, like, I'm never going to be good enough way. But you stay in it and it's like you're flagellating yourself over and over. You're just in this culture where you never feel good enough. Oh my gosh. And then she does get the role, but after the director has assaulted her. [22:59] Portia Pendleton: Right. So we see Tomas. He seems like he's the artistic director of the company. It seems like he has had a history of a relationship with Beth, who all the premium. Right. It seems like this is probably a kind of toxic, abusive, sexual assaulty environment. [23:19] Dr. Katrina Furey: Interesting to watch. It now post Harvey Weinstein in the MeToo movement compared to back in 2010. [23:24] Portia Pendleton: And so he is kind of, I think, like trying to see to test her. That's my impression of first. Right. He's like asking her all these questions. He invites her back, is asking her. [23:36] Dr. Katrina Furey: If she's a virgin, if she has a boyfriend. [23:40] Portia Pendleton: And again, it's like. [23:43] Dr. Katrina Furey: I think that was after she got the role. Yeah, but even before then, they were maybe dancing and he was trying to seduce her, remember? [23:50] Portia Pendleton: And then he kisses her, she bites him, which she thinks is, now it's done, she lost the role, she's not going to get it. But for whatever reason, the bite really got. Exactly. And then she still thinks she doesn't get it. She thinks Lily no, she thinks another random girl got it because she says, oh, congratulations. [24:12] Dr. Katrina Furey: That girl was maybe Michelle Trachtenberg, but maybe not. No. I don't know. [24:16] Portia Pendleton: Not Harry. Looks like, yeah, that's a good call. And then she ends up getting it, goes to the bathroom, calls her mom. You see her at times. I don't think that time she went. [24:27] Dr. Katrina Furey: In to throw up. No, but other times she's feeling a big emotion. You see her go to the bathroom. I thought that was a really smart depiction of bulimia. [24:36] Portia Pendleton: So it would be anorexia. How would you type? Okay, because I'm assuming that she is not binging. So you have to binge in order to have bulimia, which is actually like a lot of people don't know that. A lot of people only associate the purge with bulimia. [24:52] Dr. Katrina Furey: That's so important. [24:53] Portia Pendleton: Many people with anorexia do purge, for example, they might have something that they believe to be a larger meal that would be, I would say, a subjective binge. [25:03] Dr. Katrina Furey: Like someone might come in eggs rather than an egg white, right. [25:07] Portia Pendleton: And then they're going to throw that up versus somebody who is really, truly engaging in a binge behavior, which is about consuming like 3500 calories in kind of around 90 minutes in secret. You almost are dissociative. You're eating a lot of the same food, so it's not like you are going up for your third helping at Thanksgiving and you're feeling really uncomfortable. You have overeaten. [25:32] Dr. Katrina Furey: It's also not like you're sort of mindlessly grazing at dinner time while you're prepping dinner. So 3500 calories in 90 minutes, that's a helpful right? [25:40] Portia Pendleton: So it's really rapid. You might be eating like loaves of bread, right? So you're not going up and taking multiple bound piece items on your plate, bringing them back. It would be like consuming an entire. [25:54] Dr. Katrina Furey: Party sized cake, right. [25:55] Portia Pendleton: And then having a bag of donuts and then having a bag of plain untoasted bagels. It's like it's not we're going through the drive through, like seven times, multiple drive through. So I think a lot of people kind of say that they binge. I think a lot of and maybe you're serious. Some people I do think we throw that word around a lot. [26:13] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah. [26:13] Portia Pendleton: But bulimia really does require a binge. [26:18] Dr. Katrina Furey: Again, I don't have as much experience with eating disorder, so this is really educational for me. I've always wondered, how do you quantify a binge? [26:25] Portia Pendleton: Yeah. So I think that's more of like a research criteria, which I think is helpful. [26:31] Dr. Katrina Furey: No, it's super helpful for me to know. Yeah. [26:33] Portia Pendleton: And then, so I'd ask someone, like, did you have an objective binge, which I just described, or did you have like a subjective binge? Same thing, just with binge eating disorder. So people are then not using a compensatory behavior. So they're not self induced vomiting. They're not taking a laxative, they're not then restricting. [26:50] Dr. Katrina Furey: They're not over exercising. [26:52] Portia Pendleton: Correct. They're not over exercising. But I think a lot of people who do show up with binge eating disorder often do restrict. So they'll maybe restrict during the day at work, intentionally or unintentionally, and then they go home, and then they might consume like a large quantity of food. There is a little bit of difference between night eating syndrome and binge eating disorder, but I think we think of restriction only in anorexia. [27:18] Dr. Katrina Furey: And that's it. I think, like you've told me before, that's super rare to have that form of anorexia where all you do is respect. [27:26] Portia Pendleton: Most people have purged who have anorexia. [27:30] Dr. Katrina Furey: And again, purging being the self induced vomiting which we see depicted in this movie, but also laxative use over exercising. There's a lot of different ways of purging. So, like, your patients you have who meet criteria for the restrictive type but then run a lot. Would you say that's the purging? [27:48] Portia Pendleton: Because oftentimes if they are unable to exercise to a certain degree, they might then restrict more of their food intake because they're not able to compensate for it or have a lot more anxiety. [28:01] Dr. Katrina Furey: And this is where, oh, my God, I just so worry about their hearts. And we've talked about this a lot, just not in the podcast. [28:10] Portia Pendleton: People who have heart rates in the 30s, right? [28:12] Dr. Katrina Furey: They're like running marathons and you're just like, how are you doing this? And again, these ballerinas, this is what they're living in, too. And it just makes me so nervous. Like, if I strapped an EKG on them, I would have a heart attack myself. [28:25] Portia Pendleton: Because restriction does impact your muscles and. [28:29] Dr. Katrina Furey: Your heart is a muscle. [28:31] Portia Pendleton: So I think as someone's just wanting to lose, as so many diets say, that will work, that we're just kind of taking the fat away. Restriction doesn't work that way. Your body doesn't know that. You just want to target this quote unquote problem area right on your left hip. It's like no. Restriction takes from everywhere. It takes from the gray matter from your brain. Yes, we need fats for our brain to work. Well, so seeing Nina's diet is really concerning. And again, she has a really high output of exercise. She should be fueling throughout the day, protein shakes. [29:07] Dr. Katrina Furey: She should be eating like Michael Phillips. Yes, it's just wild. [29:11] Portia Pendleton: But then when we think about ballet culture, right, so I noticed the costume design piece. So in most ballet shows, you tend to do them more than once. So The Nutcracker, Swan Lake, you have. [29:26] Dr. Katrina Furey: To fit in that costume giselle. [29:27] Portia Pendleton: So they keep these costumes, especially the core, and they might refresh the prima ballerina's costume, but they try to use them over and over again. And if you are bigger than the last dancer was who was in your costume that you are getting that is so upsetting and shameful, even if somebody is not directly shaming you, it's like, oh, we have to add this piece of fabric on to make a new one. [29:52] Dr. Katrina Furey: Or you're not in you're not in the show. Right. 100%. I agree. I thought that was like yeah, there. [29:59] Portia Pendleton: Is pride in a really sick way that when you are smaller and they need to take it in and there's shame and guilt when you are too big and it won't class. [30:10] Dr. Katrina Furey: 100%. And also just the lifts, like the male ballerinas lifting the girls, like the lighter you are. I mean, the prima ballerina, I think, until like, Misty Copeland always had the same very small body type. Yeah, misty Copeland was white. And so Men white. [30:26] Portia Pendleton: Copeland kind of came in. And if you don't know about her, she's this really amazing black ballerina. And she is, though, I will say, in a very small body. But she's muscular. [30:37] Dr. Katrina Furey: Muscular? [30:38] Portia Pendleton: I would say like more toned. It seems like she has more muscle mass, but still in a very small body. Right. And I think that there is still way more room to grow. In many literal areas of diversity, in all ways in the ballet field. So that leads me to thinking of Lily, who is played by Mila Kunis. [31:03] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yeah. Tell me what you think about Lily, then I'll tell you what I think. [31:07] Portia Pendleton: So kind of on the surface level, I think Lily is supposed to be so obviously like the black San Francisco tattoo on her back, which is like these black wings. Natalie Portman's character, Nina, is very childlike, dough eyed. Where's pink where's pink ballerina? E. And I didn't know the hair down. [31:27] Dr. Katrina Furey: Sorry to interrupt. I did find it interesting, the first scene we see of Natalie Portman walking into rehearsals, she had some wispies, which in the dance world means, like, your bun isn't totally hairsprayed. Like, there's some stray pieces. And I thought that was interesting because she would not have wispies like that version of her at that point, would not. I just thought that was again, maybe no one thought of it. Or maybe it was sort of purposeful as like, she's unraveling already. Right. I don't know. [31:56] Portia Pendleton: Anyway no, I mean, that's a good point. Hair, I think, is so important. I think, again, it really cared characterized them as so different. But I think there is no way that they would ever allow it's just not ballet etiquette to not have your hair in a box. I know. [32:12] Dr. Katrina Furey: When she's dancing around with her hair. [32:14] Portia Pendleton: Down, like flinging around, you can't spot if you have your hair down, it's going to get in your partner's face. [32:18] Dr. Katrina Furey: Absolutely. There's no way. But she's like San Francisco. That's what I'm trying to do. Right. [32:21] Portia Pendleton: She's like, cool, she's sexy, she eats a cheeseburger. Right. And it's just, again, to me, that's so unbelievable. But it's all, like, triggering Nina because Lily is the exact opposite of her. [32:36] Dr. Katrina Furey: And what she needs to be to play the role queen. Right. I don't think Lily was real. I think she was a hallucination the whole time I. [32:49] Portia Pendleton: Felt that way. [32:51] Dr. Katrina Furey: I didn't think that back in 2010. No, I do. [32:54] Portia Pendleton: I was, like, kind of mind F word in 2010 after seeing it and had a lot of questions about that. I think you are 100% right. I don't think Lily exists at all. I think in so many ways, Lily is this version of Nina that she needs or wants or that she's trying to access. There's so many times when she's not really there. I think it's like when Nina is not herself, she is Lily. Like, Lily goes out to the bar. I don't think she was ever there. Right. [33:26] Dr. Katrina Furey: No. [33:27] Portia Pendleton: When they have sex like that, she was masturbating. I think when she sees Lily having sex with Tomas and then he turns into this swan creature again, I don't think any of it's real. [33:39] Dr. Katrina Furey: I think you're right. That didn't hit me until I was watching this at the end. I remember back when it came out, the sex scene between them was like, that was like all that big draw, see the movie. But now watching it, I'm like, I think the closer she gets to Lily that's representing the further she's going into psychosis. We see, like, at the very early, early on in the movie, when Nina is walking onto the subway, she thinks someone laughs at her. She sees a weird face. We see some of that early on. [34:20] Portia Pendleton: These little ghosts see Lily. [34:22] Dr. Katrina Furey: Right. Or, like, someone's face that I couldn't tell who it was, if it was Lily or that other girl she was feeling competitive with, that Michelle Trachtenberg looking girl. [34:31] Portia Pendleton: And then it always morphs back into Nina, though. [34:33] Dr. Katrina Furey: Right, exactly. And so I thought this movie so artistically and beautifully depicted the descent into Psychosis with some very classic things. Like, again, those little things that can happen at first, where you have, like, a small break from reality. Was it real or was it just in my head? Okay. I think I hear people laughing at me. Are they really or are they not? And then it just growing and growing and growing and growing. Like, the mom's weird paintings, like, laughing at her. I started to even wonder about the scratches on her. Were those real? I think they were. I think she was doing that out of stress, but not realizing she was doing it. Oh, it's so interesting. [35:18] Portia Pendleton: Yeah. I mean, such an artistic way to I think exactly what you just said, to kind of show Psychosis and, like, the descent into it. I am even kind of remembering, which I had talked about before with the mom. Yes, I believe that they do authentically have a strange relationship and national, however, right then, I think it kind of throws me to having all these questions about everything. Is the mom really that bad? I don't know. Is all of this just, like, in paranoia now? [35:51] Dr. Katrina Furey: Some paranoia, yeah. And you even see when Nina shows up late to a rehearsal, I think after their big night out, maybe, or her, who knows? Big night out. And I wondered even about the ecstasy. I don't think she was actually on drugs. I think that was the psychosis. Like, she was starting to feel disconnected from herself. And she shows up, she thinks she sees Lily filling in for her, and she runs after Tomas, like, really tearful, like, really paranoid. She's after me. She's trying to take my role, like, all of that. She's just unraveling. And at some point, her mom tries to stop her from performing. Right. So at some point, the mom, I think, is trying to help. [36:32] Portia Pendleton: I know that's where I was confused, fuzzy. Right. [36:35] Dr. Katrina Furey: Because then mom's in the audience. Right. And the mom but even, like, as she's performing as the swans, like that last half hour of the movie, however long it is, you just see the full descent, like, in such a beautifully. [36:51] Portia Pendleton: She becomes the black swan. I mean, it comes out of her skin. She performs it so amazingly well. Tomas is, like, giving her such good feedback after initially, right? Like, the first scene, she has that fall, the white swan, and I think even that more I think that's real. I think that even catapults her further. [37:09] Dr. Katrina Furey: Because the stress, the stress that she's under, it seems like she has this complicated relationship with her mom, this perfect storm of an obsessive neurotic personality with an eating disorder. And then we add on this level of stress. She has a psychotic break. I don't think she's depicting schizophrenia, which perhaps she goes on to develop. But schizophrenia would involve other things, too, like her thought process, her affect, which is we think of mood as, like, your own subjective experience about your emotions and affect being what other people observe on you. There's negative symptoms associated with schizophrenia. She's not displaying any of that. She's really displaying a first break, which at that age, you don't really know. Is this a one time thing? Is it stress induced? Is it signs of an underlying bipolar disorder or signs of a schizophrenia? We don't know. But oh, my God, it's so masterfully depicted. [38:02] Portia Pendleton: So fun fact, I watched it on Amazon Prime. I rented it, and they give you kind of a running some facts on the side, like, if you move the mouse and who's on screen right now? [38:12] Dr. Katrina Furey: So they always say the characters. [38:13] Portia Pendleton: So I really enjoy that sometimes. And they had shared that Natalie Portman recommended Mila Kunis for the role. She really wanted her to do it. She felt like she would be a perfect kind of counter to her. And then Mila Kunis, I guess, didn't even audition. Like, they just kind of talked to her over Skype or something. And then they gave her the role. They thought she was the perfect fit. [38:36] Dr. Katrina Furey: And I know Natalie Portman said that she did a lot of ballet training. I think she was a ballerina as a kid. Not professionally, but then there was a body double, of course, because the ballet was amazing. Those left sided fuets were just like, oh, my God. But, oh, my gosh. I know. I feel like we should break down just a little bit before we wrap up the final show. Yeah. [39:02] Portia Pendleton: Prior to that, though, I was curious on your thoughts about why is Nina visiting Beth in the hospital? Right. So Beth, like, jumps in front of. [39:10] Dr. Katrina Furey: A car, attempts suicide, and then she's in the hospital. [39:13] Portia Pendleton: Like, her body is damaged, which I think is just like the ultimate I don't even know, trauma and trauma. Right. You had the suicide attempt, and now your body is really more even incapable of being who you identify as, which is a dancer, which now that you're not. That that's why she, I'm assuming, you know, wanted to kind of end her. [39:33] Dr. Katrina Furey: Life, and she was feeling rejected by Tomas and yep. It's terrible. [39:38] Portia Pendleton: So Nina brings her or gives her back the little items that she stole. [39:44] Dr. Katrina Furey: Those weird little things she stole. I thought that was interesting, and one. [39:47] Portia Pendleton: Of them being, like, it looked a letter opener, but I'm assuming it was some kind of knife, maybe even for, like, point shoe stuff, like it was some part of a kick up or something. And then she stops herself. [39:58] Dr. Katrina Furey: I think that was all a hallucination. [40:00] Portia Pendleton: I hope, building all of this energy. I feel like just the watcher, like I'm all over the place. [40:08] Dr. Katrina Furey: That was also super graphic. I do think she visited her initially when she brought her flowers and everything. I was really uncomfortable when she was picking up the blanket to look at her injuries. I felt like that was really a violation. And I think Nina so wanted to be Beth. [40:28] Portia Pendleton: Yes. [40:29] Dr. Katrina Furey: And so maybe it was like seeing her potential future that was, like, haunting her. Maybe she felt guilty that now she's the Swan Queen, and then Beth attempts suicide. Maybe she felt guilty, and then she did. Even before Beth was ousted, there was that scene early in the movie where she leaves her dressing room angry, and Nina goes in and takes all those trinkets, kind of like a Kleptomaniac. I don't know. I was like, Are you trying to become her in a real creepy way? [41:00] Portia Pendleton: I even wonder. And maybe it doesn't add up in the movie, but did Nina push Beth in front of the car? I mean, it just seems like anything could be part of her psychotic break or not. And I think that's the fun of the movie is trying to kind of figure that out. But so she wakes up late. Mom hides the doorknob. She's in her room. She looks at the clock. It's way too late. So she gets ready. She like fights, mom. [41:26] Dr. Katrina Furey: And mom said, like, I've already called and told them you're not feeling well. Which I think, again, for Nina, is like, what the f? I've lived my whole life trying to be this person. [41:36] Portia Pendleton: You want me to be nothing. [41:38] Dr. Katrina Furey: Now I'm here, and now you call me out. I still can't be good enough for you, mom. Right. So anyway, so she rushes in, she gets ready. I was really interested in the fact that she did all of her own makeup. Is that true? Yeah. [41:54] Portia Pendleton: So I thought about this while I was watching it. So in, I guess, traditional ballet production, too, you are not doing you always try to do, like, a dramatic face, dramatic eye, comp dancing, all of that stuff. But again, it was a little triggered by the makeup because I've done that makeup before. You try to make the top of your face really white, so it's, like, reflecting. You draw, like, really wide black eyeliner. So, like, under your eye all the way out. You wing it white in between. And that makeup is so sticky and uncomfortable. [42:33] Dr. Katrina Furey: And she had to redo her makeup multiple times throughout the show. And the makeup and the costumes were so amazing when her eyes turn red as the black swan, but so she starts off as the white swan. She has the fall, which is devastating. And then her and Lily have the physical altercation and she ends up in. [42:50] Portia Pendleton: The dressing room stabbing her with the glass. [42:53] Dr. Katrina Furey: Also, Lily was trying to take the role, remember? Lily was like Toma had said she was going to do it because Nina was late. Again, I don't think Lily is actually real, but that all depicts it so well. And then she stabs her, drags her into the bathroom and just leaves her there. And I thought she really killed her. [43:14] Portia Pendleton: Yeah. There's blood coming out from under the door. She puts the towel on it. She goes and then performs as gets positive feedback, which I think was very interesting because the whole movie, it's like all she's getting is negative feedback. She's not sexy enough from the male partner and from Tomas. Everyone's jealous of her. But then at the performance, besides the fall, you hear all of this positive feedback from her peers, people in the core, Tomas. It's really nice that some of people are asking her if she's okay after she fell. So I'm wondering, too, that doesn't fit her previous view, that's like everyone's out to get her. Everyone's trying to take this role. It's like, I wonder again, was that all in her head? [43:57] Dr. Katrina Furey: There's some competition, of course, or was she unraveling? And people are like, oh, my God, are you okay? I think she's starting to appear psychotic. The way she carried herself was different. She walks up and kisses Tomas after the performance. She dances differently. The way they have her sort of sprout the wings as she's turning, it's like now she's psychotic. Right? It was just so beautifully depicted. But she was hearing them laughing as they were switching. She was in the wings and the core was coming off stage and their faces kind of looked off. She was upstage when she should have been downstage. She was confused. I thought they were asking her that. Not out of I mean, out of caring, but because she was, like, appearing more and more psychotic. And then she gets back to her dressing room. There's no blood coming. [44:52] Portia Pendleton: There's no body. [44:53] Dr. Katrina Furey: There's no body. [44:54] Portia Pendleton: There is a glass, though. [44:55] Dr. Katrina Furey: There is the glass. And she looks and she stabbed herself. And that's when at least watching it again, this time I was like, Billy was never real. It's like a depiction of her wrestling with that part of herself. And then she carries on, puts on the white swan makeup again, goes and does a beautiful performance at the end, and then quite literally jumps to her death. [45:18] Portia Pendleton: Right. [45:19] Dr. Katrina Furey: And at the very end, as she's dying, I think she says it was perfect, or I was perfect or something, and I was like, oh, my God. [45:27] Portia Pendleton: Just floored. [45:28] Dr. Katrina Furey: Just floored. Like, the lengths you go to achieve perfection. [45:32] Portia Pendleton: I mean, it does drive you mad. I feel like at both times that I've watched, I'm always left a little speechless besides feeling unwell and triggered. But yeah, I had a lot of questions, which it seems like the glass was real on the floor, but I don't know if you get stopped, I just don't see you performing. [45:54] Dr. Katrina Furey: But again right, but also, she is the person who can sustain anorexia for that period of time. Right. I don't even think she feels it. And they even kind of show that, but where her wound doesn't grow until she's finally done dancing. God, what a movie. [46:13] Portia Pendleton: Yeah, I think it touches on so much stuff and so much toxic energy that is in the ballet world. I think it talks about also, like a psychotic break. Mom and daughter relationships. [46:29] Dr. Katrina Furey: It's predatory. [46:30] Portia Pendleton: Predatory relationships. [46:32] Dr. Katrina Furey: Touches on so much and it's so artistically beautiful. Yeah. I don't know if I'd say it was a pleasure to watch again, because it's really disturbing, but yeah, amazing movie. [46:48] Portia Pendleton: For me, I think I didn't quite enjoy dance while I was kind of competitive at that level, like, in high school. And I think I really started to enjoy dance again when I stepped away. [47:05] Dr. Katrina Furey: From the ballet world. [47:06] Portia Pendleton: I mean, I think that's not a universal maybe experience, but I think if something doesn't become fun anymore and it's not fulfilling and it's just, like all work and pain, I think it's, like, time to move on to something else. And I think it's really hard for dancers as like, that's your identity for so many people. We don't become professionals. I know. It's just really hard to do that. [47:32] Dr. Katrina Furey: Did you ever have guest teachers be like, raise your hand if you hope to be a professional dancer someday? I feel like they were always asking us that, and I always raised my hand. I think it was just like I. [47:43] Portia Pendleton: Feel like we were some of my instructors at some places. That was the assumption. I mean, this is kind of like a horrifying thing to share, but when we started Point, I think I was probably like eleven. [47:57] Dr. Katrina Furey: Oh, my gosh. Your little feet are still developing. [48:00] Portia Pendleton: We were not allowed to use padding. [48:03] Dr. Katrina Furey: No. [48:04] Portia Pendleton: Yeah. [48:04] Dr. Katrina Furey: So if you're not familiar with point so, like, in the point shoes, actually, same with me. I just started later. But you can put, like, wool or buy these gelburns. There's all sorts of but all these pads in the very tip of your shoes. So your toes have some padding. [48:21] Portia Pendleton: But you're right. [48:21] Dr. Katrina Furey: Same with me. Now that I'm thinking about it, you weren't allowed to use padding because that's. [48:27] Portia Pendleton: Not what the professional a real feel for the shoe and build up your toe. Your calluses. [48:33] Dr. Katrina Furey: I remember I used to cut off dead skin like in between rehearsals. [48:36] Portia Pendleton: You weren't allowed to get a pedicure because you didn't want soft skin, right? [48:40] Dr. Katrina Furey: Yes. If I would get one, I would say, don't remove the calluses. [48:43] Portia Pendleton: So I sneakily brought in cotton balls and put them in my shoe. It was so painful. [48:50] Dr. Katrina Furey: So painful. It's the worst. [48:51] Portia Pendleton: Oh, my gosh. I think dancing now as an adult and doing other forms of dance, like tap, I feel like the joy has returned. And it's fun and it's nice, but I think I do follow. Her name is Isabel Boylston. I think she's a prima ballerina for the American Ballet Theater. I like her content. I mean, I will say, like, she is a small bodied ballerina, pretty traditional speaking. She's an amazing dancer. And I'd like to think and hope that the ballet world is making some efforts to be more inclusive and to be safer for everybody. I'm not in it anymore. I can't speak to that. And I know I feel like we said a lot of negative, bad things about it today, which I think that's just the reality. But I also am hopeful that there are wonderful companies with wonderful instructors and better PT. But I think it's cutthroat. I think it is. [49:48] Dr. Katrina Furey: And at least the way it's depicted in this movie, very cutthroat. So I'm just thinking, like, if you and I experience some of that on such a local dance school level, imagine what it is at the New York City Ballet. Right? Wow. So is there anything else we wanted to touch on? [50:06] Portia Pendleton: No. I'm glad that it's behind us. I feel like it deserves to be. [50:12] Dr. Katrina Furey: Called a film, not a movie. All right, well, this was fun. I'm also glad it's behind us. Thank you all for tuning in. If you could please rate, review, and subscribe, that would be great, and we will see you next time with succession. [50:25] Portia Pendleton: Yeah. [50:26] Dr. Katrina Furey: All right. Bye, guys. [50:27] Portia Pendleton: Bye. [50:33] Dr. Katrina Furey: This podcast and its contents are a copyright of analyzed scripts. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction of part or all of the contents in any form is prohibited. Unless you want to share it with your friends and rate, review, and subscribe, that's fine. All stories and characters discussed are fictional in nature. No identification with actual persons, living or deceased places, buildings, or products is intended or should be inferred. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only. The podcast and its contents do not constitute professional mental health or medical advice. Listeners might consider consulting a mental health provider if they need assistance with any mental health problems or concerns. As always, please call 911 or go directly to your nearest emergency room for any psychiatric emergencies. Thanks for listening, and see you next time. [51:23] Portia Pendleton: Bye. Our channel, Sam.

In 2010 Darren Aronofsky unleashed the ballet hellscape upon us with his award-winning, Black Swan. Featuring Natalie Portman as a ballet dancer driven mad with ambitions drive and paranoid vigor as she tries to be crowned Swan Queen. However, her anxiety gets the best of her when Mila Kunis appears as the dancer who could challenge her throne. This film was an award-winning thriller that brought Portman the best-actress Oscar, but does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent ask why sex scenes are so short and how multiple personalities can help as we try to figure out if this is a beautiful swan or an ugly duckling.

Inspired by Beth from The Queens Gambit & Nina from Black Swan this podcast explores the concept of the obsessive artist in movies and literature. Essentially, an obsessive artist is always a leading character that needs to perfect their craft and by doing so has to sacrifice something to reach their goals. With Beth she must overcome her addiction to become a grandmaster at chess and with Nina she must let go of her old self to become the Swan Queen. Both are very well written and greatly performed. My goal here is to deliver and understanding of how these characters attain their goals throughout their journeys. I hope you all enjoy this, be sure to let me know what you think. As always you can find me on my social media platforms below Instagram - @lazo.podcast Twitter - @lazospodcast

In which The Narrators Three discuss: Queer Panic, Regina's New Fairy Gal Pal, Swan Queen, Fairy Fashion Glow Up, Blindingly Bad CGI, The Chaos Gene, Pan Loves Himself an Attempted Murder, #LinWasRight, and Cowards Sank Our Beautiful SleepingWarrior Ship. Sorry for the two week delay! We recorded plenty of episodes to cover the time off we had for the wedding, but I forgot to plan for enough time to edit all the pre-recorded episodes before the wedding and honeymoon. But 3x03 is finally here! -Narrator Elisa Please note some adult language is used in this episode. Thank you to Laichiruru (twitter.com/laichiruru) for our podcast cover artwork! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/onceuponarewatch/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/onceuponarewatch/support

Swan Lake wraps up the season for Pittsburgh Ballet Theater with  eight performances at the Benedum with orchestra.  Debuting in this new production is original choreography from Artistic Director Susan Jaffe, a seasoned and celebrated Swan Queen herself. Ms. Jaffe first danced the role of Odette-Odile for American Ballet Theatre at the age of 19 and gave a performance that The New York Times called, “a beautiful triumph.” She danced the role every year of her 22-year illustrious career, including international performances.  

Het bitch! You been Annihilated lately? Cause your shimmer is poppin'! This week, the boys enter the alien refracting prism that is ANNIHILATION (2018)! This female-centric Sci-Fi adventure inspires the boys to revisit an FTTQ classic game, F/M/K... Girl Power Edition! Then it's time to dive into the beautifully dangerous world of the Shimmer where the Swan Queen, Jane the Virgin, and Stacy from "Fast Times..." battle mutated wild animals and explore their own self-destruction. Will they make it out? Or will it be someone or something else? Find out on FTTQ Friday! Sweet Scream Bears! . . . REVIEW. COMMENT. SUBSCRIBE. WEBSITE: www.fearthetalkingqueers.com Instagram: @fearthetalkingqueers Intro music prod by YGOD BEATS Episode music by: WavebeatsMusic --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/fearthetalkingqueers/support

Authors on the Air host Pam Stack welcomes cardiovascular doctor Antonio Gomes about his romance book and more. António aka Anthony Gomes is a Professor of Medicine at The Mount Sinai Medical Center, NYC. He has published more than 150 articles in Cardiovascular Medicine and two textbooks of Cardiology, Signal Averaged Electrocardiography: Basic Concepts Methods and Application  and Heart Rhythm Disorders . He has also published articles in the humanities in anthologies, books, newspapers, and magazines; two books of poetry entitled Visions from Grymes Hill  and Mirrored Reflections ); and three novels, The Sting of Peppercorns ; Nas Garras Do Destino ; and Have A Heart .  ABOUT HAVE A HEART: mAY 1998, Ali and his mother attend the premiere of the ballet Swan Lake at the Metropolitan Opera House, where Anna, the Russian ballerina, is making her American Ballet Theatre debut as Odette/Odile. While dancing in the ballet, suddenly and unexpectedly, Anna, the Swan Queen, collapses, and the story begins. The next day, Dr. Ali is called to consult on Anna. He finds her in heart failure due to weakness of her heart muscle. Anna undergoes a barrage of tests and is crushed that her dancing days are over. During Anna’s hospital stay, and subsequently, Anna and Ali, take a liking to each other and when her heart condition improves, they became lovers.  Several months later, Ali meets Nancy, an investment analyst who works at the World Trade Center. He remains torn for his concern for Anna’s health and his blossoming relationship with Nancy. In Have A Heart, Gomes explores the intertwined romantic and professional lives of three individuals. @copyrighted  Listen on your favorite podcast app.

Hey Queen! The Swan Queen that is! You ready to grand jeté into this episode on the award-winning psychological thriller, 2010's BLACK SWAN?! You better be. The boys start by spilling all the backstage tea from their time in the theater, battle it out over which of them is the swan queen, and then dance their way through this intensely complex masterpiece. Spread your wings and fly with your favorite boys! Enjoy, bitches! . . LIKE. COMMENT. SUBSCRIBE. FOLLOW. WEBSITE: Www.Fearthetalkingqueers.com IG: @fearthetalkingqueers E-Mail: fearthetalkingqueers@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/fearthetalkingqueers/support

The Winter of 1877 in the Baroque City was surprisingly warm. Birds sang from the silver-tipped concert hall roofs as if spring were near, or as if to welcome the legions arriving from the old world to hear the newest ballet. Peter Tchaikovsky, the composer of the ballet’s music, and Marius Petipa, the ballet’s choreographer, […]

Welcome to Everything Trying to Kill You, the comedy podcast that talks about horror movies! For episode 20, join Maegan, Mary Kay, Mary as they discuss Darren Aronofsky’s film Black Swan. They answer questions like these: What was the first dance each host saw that made her go, dayuuuuuuum!? What is the metanarrative that director, Aronofsky uses throughout his films? What is the deal with the relationship between Nina and her mother? Does Nina’s ambition inevitably turn into obsession? How does Black Swan differ or ascribe to tropes of other dance and ballet movies? Is Nina’s experience authentic to that of an ACTUAL ballerina’s experience? Why is the Swan Queen the penultimate choreography for a ballet dancer? Why can’t Mary point her feet? How is Black Swan a fairy tale retelling of the original, 200-year-old Swan Lake? What makes this movie scary? How does this movie update the concept of Freud’s doppelganger? What brand of lipstick does Nina steal from Beth? Is this movie antifeminist? Black Swan (2010) – Directed by Darren Aronofsky and written by Mark Heyman and Andres Heines. Starring Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, and Vincent Cassel.Genre: Horror, Supernatural, Thriller, Suspense, BalletWhere to watch: Netflix, AmazonSummary: Nina (Portman) is a ballerina in a New York City ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. She lives with her obsessive former ballerina mother Erica (Hershey) who exerts a suffocating control over her. When artistic director Thomas Leroy (Cassel) decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre (Ryder) for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice. But Nina has competition: a new dancer, Lily (Kunis), who impresses Leroy as well. Swan Lake requires a dancer who can play both the White Swan with innocence and grace, and the Black Swan, who represents guile and sensuality. Nina fits the White Swan role perfectly but Lily is the personification of the Black Swan. As the two young dancers expand their rivalry into a twisted friendship, Nina begins to get more in touch with her dark side - a recklessness that threatens to destroy her. Written by Fox Searchlight Pictures

We have a two hour action packed show for you today. D.P. Lyle is back with some friends talking about their latest anthology. Bestselling Author Tasha Alexander, Michael Brandman all join us on the show. Tasha Alexander "A Death in St. Petersburg": After the final curtain of Swan Lake, an animated crowd exits the Mariinsky theatre brimming with excitement from the night's performance. But outside the scene is somber. A ballerina's body lies face down in the snow, blood splattered like rose petals over the costume of the Swan Queen. The crowd is silenced by a single cry— "Nemetseva is dead!" Amongst the theatergoers is Lady Emily, accompanying her dashing husband Colin in Russia on assignment from the Crown. But it soon becomes clear that Colin isn't the only one with work to do. When the dead ballerina's aristocratic lover comes begging for justice, Emily must apply her own set of skills to discover the rising star's murderer. Her investigation takes her on a dance across the stage of Tsarist Russia, from the opulence of the Winter Palace, to the modest flats of ex-ballerinas and the locked attics of political radicals. A mysterious dancer in white follows closely behind, making waves through St. Petersburg with her surprise performances and trail of red scarves. Is it the sweet Katenka, Nemetseva's childhood friend and favorite rival? The ghost of the murdered étoile herself? Or, something even more sinister?

We have a two hour action packed show for you today. D.P. Lyle is back with some friends talking about their latest anthology. Bestselling Author Tasha Alexander, Michael Brandman all join us on the show.  Tasha Alexander "A Death in St. Petersburg":  After the final curtain of Swan Lake, an animated crowd exits the Mariinsky theatre brimming with excitement from the night’s performance. But outside the scene is somber. A ballerina’s body lies face down in the snow, blood splattered like rose petals over the costume of the Swan Queen. The crowd is silenced by a single cry— “Nemetseva is dead!” Amongst the theatergoers is Lady Emily, accompanying her dashing husband Colin in Russia on assignment from the Crown. But it soon becomes clear that Colin isn’t the only one with work to do. When the dead ballerina’s aristocratic lover comes begging for justice, Emily must apply her own set of skills to discover the rising star’s murderer. Her investigation takes her on a dance across the stage of Tsarist Russia, from the opulence of the Winter Palace, to the modest flats of ex-ballerinas and the locked attics of political radicals. A mysterious dancer in white follows closely behind, making waves through St. Petersburg with her surprise performances and trail of red scarves. Is it the sweet Katenka, Nemetseva’s childhood friend and favorite rival? The ghost of the murdered étoile herself? Or, something even more sinister?

Tamar is back this week, and we are so excited to welcome Lissete Lanuza to talk with us about 'shipping on Once Upon a Time. Are you a fan of Captain Swan or does Swan Queen rule your world? Did you love Neal? Will True Love win for Rumbelle? Does Jennifer Morrison have chemistry with everyone? We get into all of that and more this week!

This week we’re wrapping up our hiatus relationship discussions with a chat about the Savior and the Evil Queen, Emma and Regina, also known as Swan Queen. From enemies to friends, family to even soul mates, we talk about the … Continue reading →

WARNING: This podcast is NSFW In this episode of Hope of All Trades, my guest Maegan and I discuss sex in the hit ABC series Once Upon A Time. We have a lot of fun discussing our top sexiest people in Storybrooke. Then we talk about the ships and what kind of sex those characters have. From Captain Swan to Swan Queen to Sleeping Warrior, we cover them all! Also, we play some exciting rounds of "Make love, F***, Marry" with the characters! To go along in the fun, we also go into deep topics such as: -Gender roles between men and women in Once. Are they truly equal? -Which threesome would make the best polyamorous group? -Who in town would make a great and balanced gay character? All this and more in this episode! Thanks to Tim for the input and comment too! See my latest work with What the Fangirl and on my website Geeky Girl Experience! Feedback for this show can be sent to: hope@twotruefreaks.comYou can now follow Hope on Twitter @HopeMullinax or read her work at What the Fangirl! THANK YOU for listening to Two True Freaks!!

WARNING: This podcast is NSFW In this episode of Hope of All Trades, my guest Maegan and I discuss sex in the hit ABC series Once Upon A Time. We have a lot of fun discussing our top sexiest people in Storybrooke. Then we talk about the ships and what kind of sex those characters have. From Captain Swan to Swan Queen to Sleeping Warrior, we cover them all! Also, we play some exciting rounds of "Make love, F***, Marry" with the characters! To go along in the fun, we also go into deep topics such as: -Gender roles between men and women in Once. Are they truly equal? -Which threesome would make the best polyamorous group? -Who in town would make a great and balanced gay character? All this and more in this episode! Thanks to Tim for the input and comment too! See my latest work with What the Fangirl and on my website Geeky Girl Experience! Feedback for this show can be sent to: hope@twotruefreaks.comYou can now follow Hope on Twitter @HopeMullinax or read her work at What the Fangirl! THANK YOU for listening to Two True Freaks!!

Listen to our full discussion of Breaking Glass and hear our thoughts on Young Emma and Lily, Swan Queen, Emma and the Snow Queen, Elsa, Mary Margaret and more!

Ace returns and discussed episode 405, Breaking Glass, with Erin!