Happily Married (to other people)

Waxing poetic about all things relationship-related has been the highlight of our collective week for nearly two years. But Phil's got a fancy new job and Jenna's launching a new book and Diane's sick of trying to wrangle the crew... so we decided to take a little break. It's not you, it's us. And it's not forever, we practically promise. Feel free to revisit your favorite past episodes as often as you'd like until we can get the HMTOP train back on the tracks. Until then, thanks for tuning in. Sincerely. Your time is precious and choosing to spend it with us means everything.

If you find yourself worried about the future of today's youth, Jenna's oldest daughter might just change your mind. Wise, witty, warm, and way more mature than her 20 years, Sophie shares a uniquely Gen Z take on mating, marriage and more. If you don't know what it means to be "left on opened" or you wonder what the next generation thinks of til-death-do-us-part, you won't want to miss this one.

All couples fight. Only some of them do it successfully and actually move forward happily afterward. What sets the ones who can brush off a spat apart from the grudge-holders? Turns out, there's a seven-minute exercise research shows can make you both happier overall--and not just in the minutes after you bicker. This is one episode you don't want to miss.

Summer brings with it some pros...like having more time with the kids, and some cons...like having more time with the kids! Here are some new and old ways to make the most of summer and stay sane.

Summer brings with it some pros...like having more time with the kids, and some cons...like having more time with the kids! Here are some new and old ways to make the most of summer and stay sane!

Apparently millennials are even more narcissistic than we ever thought: to wit, enter the weekend marriage, a supposed trend where couples exist separately during the week (sometimes in the same house, but preparing their own meals and coming and going as they please) and then live like a unit on the weekends. Is this mad drive to preserve independence a sign of healthy boundary setting--or is it a self-absorbed way of avoiding the sacrifice and compromise inherent to marriage? As you'd imagine, we have lots of thoughts. (Note: This week's catch-up intro is longer than most; the day's topic starts around the 26-minute mark. Sorry, Carol! Spoiler: Jenna cries. Again.)

How do you show your dude your appreciation on the daddy of all Hallmark holidays? Tune in for some ideas (and one hilariously major misunderatanding among the hosts).

Sometimes we have to wonder who the heck is coming up with some of the "relationship wisdom" on the internet. From talking about what's making you miserable to reminiscing about how great your love lives used to be, bad advice abounds out there. Don't worry. We're here to set the record straight.

Pareting, spending, snorinng, social media use, thermostat settings, division of household labor, the direction the toilet paper comes off the roll: there are untold things married couples strive to have (and keep) in alignment. So what happens if your respective beliefs aroud one of life's biggest issues--religion and faith--aren't in sync--or fall out of it? As always, we have some thoughts.

Almost everyone has a default reaction when they're frustrated or annoyed. Some people slam doors (ahem), others shut down, and still others start plotting immediate revenge against the perceived perpetrator. Knowing your own (and your partner's) knee-jerk reaction to discord can pave the way for swifter, smoother resolution. Really.

Popular marriage folklore (and at least one classic movie) would have you believe that droves of couples start to feel restless, bored, or downright miserable right around the marital seven-year mark. But is that old seven year itch a documented, scientific thing? And if so, is there anything we can do to to prevent it? Tune in for a rock-solid plan for protecting your relationship from this infamous speed bump.

A Harvard-trained psychologist has identified nine key phrases that are virtually guaranteed to make your marriage happier than most. (Spoiler: "I'm sorry" may be on there. #SorryNotSorry) Tune in for a crash course in epic couple communication.

Some people believe marital issues should be the exclusive domain of husband and wife; others feel that having a sound ear to bend can help you work through issues swiftly and successfully. Tune in to find out which camp the HMTOP crew is in.

Let's face it: some people have glasses that are half-empty; others' cups are routinely overflowing. We're not saying everyone needs to morph into Pollyanna in order to be happy in life, but changing your mindset can absolutely change your marriage. We're positive you're going to love this episode. (Do you see what we did there?)

Is Phil's "care less" approach to marriage backfiring out there? This week, we tackle apathetic partners; the ones who never initiate or follow through with plans, seem indifferent to your needs and are reactive rather than proactive. It's a great time (really)!

Over time, bad habits can creep into the best of relationships. Are you guilty of any these potentially harmful behaviors? Tune in for the HMTOP take on compatibility, patience and realistic relationship expectations.

We're not saying talking to your spouse is a bad idea, ever. But should you go in there probing for problems? One expert apparently things you should--by asking your partner questions like, "If you could change two things about me, what would they be?" and "Is your love for me growing stronger?" Team HMTOP vehemently disagrees--but fear not. We've got alternative talking points for you that can and will help you feel closer.

Not until you graduate. Not until you both have jobs. Not until you're earning XYZ a year. Not until you have XYZ in the bank. Once upon a time, finding a mate and starting a family were noble life goals; now they seem to have taken a far back seat to chasing the almighty dollar. This week, team HMTOP talks life, love, careers, and kids - and how they all fit into the grand plan.

Everyone's heard about make-up sex, and some folks (namely, men) are all for it. But is it always the best way to recover from a spat? According to experts, it depends. Here's how to make sure you're using make-up sex properly--and for the mutual best benefit. (Don't worry guys, you'll still get to have it!)

There are lots of reasons folks may be less than excited to sign up for couples counseling: dealing with uncomfortable feelings, digging up your ugly skeletons, and sobbing in front of a stranger come quickly to mind. But certain experts say there are actually seven myths (read: they're not true!) that keep people from seeking professional marital help. Turn in for our take.

It's taxing enough adjusting to being someone's spouse--now you're a very tiny someone's parent! For some crazy reason, no one prepares new parents for the very real fact that when you have a baby, roughly every single aspect of your world gets rocked--including the marriage that got you into this mess in the first place. This week team HMTOP tackles tips for staying connected to your partner during this magical but also potentially trying time.

To some people, Valentine's Day is the most romantic day of the year. To others, it's one layer beneath the pit of hell. Some experts even insist it can be downright toxic. Whichever side of the fence you're on, here's how to navigate the mother of all Hallmark holidays with your sanity (and relationship) intact.

This week's hodgepodge includes that guy who's annoyed because his wife is annoyed, free fast food for a year, and the one simple, seemingly minor gesture that supposedly spells marital doom. (For folks who like to get straight to the meat of the 'cast, feel free to fast forward to the 25 minute mark.) *This podcast may or may not be sponsored by #chik-fil-a

Jenna wrote a book titled, "If It Was Easy, They'd Call the Whole Bleeping Thing a Honeymoon," for a reason: That blissfully blind newlywed stage doesn't last forever. And when the blush wears off, some folks are woefully unprepared for the reality of marriage. Today we discuss some landmines that might be lurking beneath your fledgling union--and how to sidestep them.

"For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for... what on earth?" Let's face it, when we're dating and even engaged, everyone's on their best behavior. Which means sometimes, when the wedding dust has settled, folks start to feel comfortable enough to let it all hang out. This can be sweetly endearing--or downright disgusting. If nothing else, listening to the weird things someone else's spouse is doing is likely to make you feel better about your own. You're welcome.

From a quasi-controversial piece titled "Happy Wife, Happy Life and other misleading advice," this week the HMTOP team tackles another online bit of lousy counsel (and of course, offer our superior guidance). TODAY'S TANGENT bonus: How to protect yourself from your shady robotic vaccuum. For real.

The premise is beyond awkward: Two couples go out to dinner, and one of them spends the entire meal sharing their best, most scintillating sex tips. Well, supposedly it happened--and naturally, HMTOP has some thoughts.

New Year's resolutions may get a bad rap (namely because something like 99.9% of people break them in a matter of days), but that doesn't mean you can't start off a shiny new year with some goals or intentions for your marriage. Tune in for some ideas you might just like. (Yes guys, even you.)

For many of us, the week between Christmas and New Years means lots of food, family, and flexibility. (Oh and apparently, filth--and you're fine with it. #NotJenna) Unless you're a pilot or ER surgeon or have some other important, life-or-death job, feel free to sit back, slack off and binge-listen to us all week.

Between the shopping and wrapping and cooking and cleaning and endless decking of halls, it's easy to forget the reason for the season. In this episode, the jolly HMTOP elves identify the top holiday landmines and how couples can avoid them.

From slightly-annoying Cousin Chrissie who refuses to discipline her spawn and has never rinsed a plate in your presence to drunk Uncle Bob who wants to take your toddlers joy-riding after downing a six pack, family gatherings can quickly turn into marital minefields. Laying some sanity-saving ground rules in advance can help put the merry back in your next family gathering.

What started with an article about respect in marriage turned into a bigger conversation about emotional intelligence, free will, values, expectations, acceptance, belief systems and much more. Of course, we laugh a lot, too. If you listen to ONE episode this week/month/year, you might want to make it this one.

We all need to be needed... but sometimes "helping" your partner looks (and feels) a lot like a power play. Today's advice features tricks for being thoughtful and supportive without tiptoeing into parenting territory.

When two people commit to living together for life, there will inevitably come a day when somebody's little feelings get hurt. It turns out "I'm sorry" can range from slightly empty to downright toxic. In this episode, we discuss alternatives to the throwaway two-word standby.

You know how easy it is to fire off an angry text to your partner? Newsflash: It's almost as easy NOT to send it. It's a whole lot smarter, too. Here's why fighting via text (aka fexting) is never a good idea.

Even the happiest marriage will hit an occasional hiccup. You may find yourself feeling hurt, lonely, disappointed, overwhelmed, underappreciated, or some combination of the above. The good news: It's perfectly normal. The better news: We can help. Tune in to this week's episode for HMTOP's top coping tips.

In honor of Halloween, we cover why some people think marriage is "scary AF" (cheating spouses! boring bedroom antics! FOMO!) and cover a random list of things couples allegedly argue about on the spookiest of all days. Tune in for a frighteningly fun episode.

It's no secret that kids can complicate virtually any situation. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that couples across the globe have taken to the secret confession site Whisper to blame their babes for their miserable marriages. Tune in for a HMTOP-style smackdown.

How do you move past disappointment, anger or betrayal? More importantly, should you? This week, the HMTOP team debates the path to peace in the aftermath of marital hiccups, and Phil shares his simple, airtight trick to finding forgiveness in your heart.

Respect is a lot like love: we all want it, it's difficult to define, and the only way to get it is to give it first. In this week's episode, we take a deep dive into Aretha Franklin's favorite topic. (Bonus: Phil mansplains his simple, unique method for dealing with stress! You'll definitely want to hear it.)

The good news: divorce rates in general are on the decline. The bad news: That happy statistic doesn't include older couples. In fact, split-ups in the over-fifty crowd doubled between 1990 and 2010, not just in the US but around the world. Here's why a handful of "experts" think this is, and what HMTOP thinks of these "expert" analyses.

Marriage is many things (amazing, challenging, trying, rewarding); it's also not lots of things (easy, predictable, self-sustaining, boring). This week the HMTOP team breaks down happily ever after into its simplest parts and pieces. As always, hilarity ensues.

From a secret stash of chocolate to donating some change to charity under the radar, apparently lots of us are keeping a few (harmless, baby) skeletons in our marital closets. Researchers say this actually isn't a bad thing--as long as you keep a few important considerations in mind. Tune in for tips delivered in quintessential HMTOP style.

How often should you be doing it? How often is everyone else doing it? Is more necessarily more when it comes to sex? This week's podcast takes a deep dive into the mother of all biblical acts. Bonus topics: Jenna reveals exactly how warped her criminal mind really is, and why you should never, ever hold an open house.

Here's a newsflash: Living with another person day in and day out for the rest of ever can be a challenge. Invariably, we will all do things that bug our spouses. Today, the HMTOP trio tackles the guys' top marital peeves. (Don't worry, the wives get to weigh in, too.) Bonus: Jenna cries in the first five minutes of the podcast! Cut her some slack; her daughter is leaving for college an hour after recording.

With age (and time) comes wisdom. Today's topic comes from a writer who has compiled her top tips for having a thriving marriage in retirement. Team HMTOP decided that you don't have to be old and unemployed to benefit from these timeless tidbits. From not keeping score or bringing up past offenses to keeping your cool when debating hot-button topics, this episode is packed with laughs and plenty of actionable advice.

It's a fact: You can't fight and laugh at the same time. (Mean-spirited laughter doesn't count FWIW.) Turns out, couples who chuckle together are closer, happier and possibly even feel friskier than their crabby, mirthless chums. Here's how to infuse more passion and playful fun into your marriage.

Are mainstream movies to blame for unrealistic marriage expectations? Maybe! (We're not saying it's all Renee Zelweger's fault with that whole "you complete me" nonsense... but she's definitely part of the problem.) The fact is, despite what Hollywood would have you believe, happily ever after doesn't drop out of the sky after any single three-word phrase. Today the HMTOP experts weigh in on the cinematic love lines that may be setting the relationship bar impossibly high.

If you're an HMTOP regular, you already know Jenna's not a big fan of Pharma. One evolutionary anthropologist claims that love drugs may be the secret to mending a mediocre marriage, and insists that love is nothing more than a chemical cocktail of hormones, something we can easily replicate in pill form. Seems legit in theory… but… So. Many. Questions.

The couple in question have been dating for a few months. They both have kids and exes and limited funds. They're not technically moving in together; they're buying a house together... and then splitting it into his-and-hers halves. You see, it's a tough housing market out there! Neither could afford the house solo. The kids think it's great! What could possibly go wrong?

Tons of young couples think their twenties are the time to be selfish: to have fun, build careers, make money, and explore the world. But many experts ask: why can't you do this as half of a married couple? In this episode, Team HMTOP explores some of the many benefits of trudging through the trenches together.