Life of the Lost

Dear Maya, oooooft. It's been a busy few weeks, but I'm getting back on track. I've had to activate all my support systems recently, and I'm so grateful for everyone in my life.I know one day you'll have a wonderful set of friends and family who you can lean on in any situation. You are never alone in this world, and you are so loved!

Dear Maya,Pour your emotions into your craft - let them create something beautiful.

Dear Maya, I forgot to tell you that life is not linear.

Dear Maya, Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is against you, but when you stick to your gut, you can't go wrong. Let others fall into their accountability—we can't make them see through our lens. But we can be there for them when they finally dust off their glasses and see clearly.

Dear Maya, check in with yourself (intuition), look for the clues, and make a decision. Sometimes it's ok to make it that simple.

Dear Maya, back for part 2! We usually don't make changes out of the blue. Most times, it is a situation or event that creates change. Don't forget your 'why' and always stay true to self.

Dear Maya, once you've answered the questions in the audio, what can you do to follow through?

Dear Maya, It's been 3 days since this recording and I'm in my anger phase. He took the first "swing" and I should have taken mine. Nevertheless, I'm grateful that I was unharmed and I'm safe.Key takeaways include:The importance of situational awarenessHow training creates crucial muscle memoryProcessing trauma through creative outletsThe power of community support in healing

Dear Maya, as we grow older, our perspectives often shift from black-and-white to shades of gray. The key is to have patience and grace for those going through challenges that have gray areas. Not every decision can be acted on right away.

Dear Maya, there is a delicate art to building lasting relationships. Key takeaways:-Finding partners who align with your values-Recognizing and setting healthy boundaries-Dealing with bullying and personal insecurities-Embracing life's lessons, even the uncomfortable ones-The power of mature emotional communication

Dear Maya, it takes courage to change.

Dear Maya, despite the uncertainty and chaos, the best thing we can do is to be kind, grateful, and supportive of one another. I hope you're reading this 5 years from now. There is hope on the horizon.

Dear Maya, creating can be as complex or simple, as you make it. Be open to different modes of creative expression. When you feel like you're boxed in, find what feels fluid. Keep exploring - keep creating. Love, Annie

Dear Maya, you might look back at these recordings and think everything I say is complete bullshit and I'll respect that. You get to deem what a mother means to you and rewrite your story every day; not everyone, including me, deserves to be in it - I recognize being part of your life is earned not given. Moment by moment I'll work towards fulfilling the responsibilities of motherhood. It will come with many apologies, I'll ask for 're-dos' and we won't always get along but I'll never stop trying. Love, Annie

Dear Maya, the world will sometimes feel heavy on your shoulders, but in those moments, you must move. If you can't pick an option start with a 2-mile run. Keep your mind and heart open to all the goodness you'll find during the run. Be playful and put on some happy music (but please don't listen to it so loudly...be aware of your surroundings lol). Feelings are temporary little Gumbie - this will pass, I love you.

Dear Maya, as you approach your 10th birthday, I'm reminded of the bittersweet moments of watching you grow. I feel a lot of nostalgia as I navigate the challenges of your emerging independence and emotions.

Dear Maya, walk with me and listen to a few conclusions I came to after running and taking a class. Remember, not every time will our emotions and feelings make sense. Every dream doesn't need to be transcribed but it doesn't hurt to tap in with yourself and listen.

Dear Maya, you got this.

Dear Maya, one year, my grandma was staying at a rehabilitation facility around Christmas time and I went to visit her. I lucked out - that very day an Elvis impersonator was singing in the cafeteria for all the residents. Grandma sat in a wheel chair watching Elvis with stars in her eyes. For a moment I saw her pain fade into happiness. It felt like heaven was shining a spotlight on both of my grandparents as they danced and enjoyed the music together. I knew I wouldn't get that moment back. I sat there knowing it was going to be a memory I would keep in my pocket forever. I hope you have many moments like this with your grandparents.

A short and sweet reminder to be kind to yourself. If we pause for a moment before we attack ourselves maybe we can create a better environment for ourselves to grow.It feels selfish at first and there will be growing pains but it's important to check in with yourself. Reprioritize yourself.

Self-discovery is the key to growth—embracing who you are and who you can become. Add a dash of imagination and a pinch of ambition to fuel your journey. And remember, it's alright to start fresh and reinvent yourself.

When it comes to assessing progress and growth focus on people's actions rather than their words. Critiques can be difficult, but we have to find the willingness to listen and learn to grow WITH the ones around us.

We all face challenges in life, but it's how we respond that truly matters. I've been so inspired by the resilience, courage, and emotional openness of YOU. I'm so lucky I get to be your Annie.

Dear Maya, I find no joy in being "right" when trying to help loved ones. Often the conversation leads to a stalemate rather than productive change.I do recognize transformation is a gradual process and I do believe we all have the willingness to grow - sometimes we just need to find our 'why'.

BE FREE, you don't need permission to do what is best for you.

Dear Maya, this is what worked for me but only you will know what's best for you. Look for the clues.

Dear Maya, don't sweat the small stuff. Ask yourself, 'will this matter 5 years from now?'

A new series dedicated to Maya.

We talk about our own experiences with violent tantrums, sensory issues, and oppositional behaviors growing up as two adoptees.

Are there notable differences between growing up as a girl VS a boy adoptee? Is the difference based on who raised us?

A deep dive into Sam's mind when it comes to adoption. How it's changed his outlook on other adoptees, how it's impacted big events in his life, and most importantly how it's helped him as continues parenting.

A deep dive into Meg's adoptive family, finding her identity, learning how to express emotions in productive ways, and newfound confidence.

We had the honor of sitting down and chatting with Lillian Wolfe, a PhD student at Stanford University, who also happens to be a transracial Chinese adoptee! She is researching adoptees and how family support influences how they form their racial-ethnic identities.This is our chance as adoptees to talk about our adoptive families - positive or negative (it can be totally anonymous). Let's support her as she helps our community learn and thrive. If you would like to participate in her study please email or call Lillian at lrwolfe@stanford.edu or at 541-321-8577.

Today's podcast is about life, love, stress, & setbacks - what's going on and how to cope moving forward. Life - what's newLove - thoughts after attending Jay Shetty's 'Love Rules' eventStress - new ways to focus before a panic attackSetbacks - a new approach to balancing life with Ayurveda

Pain, embarrassment, shame, and fear followed us for the first week. The mental toll was something neither of us was ready for. It was sure a valentine's day we'd never forget!

Maya's 8th birthday party and all the nerves during her big day...not for her but for us!!

A day late and a buck short - BUT HEY, we're still here getting our voice out into the world wide webs. :) Sam is a champ for handling Meg's family in MN and Meg talks about why she wakes up at 4am every morning.

Living in NYC has been detrimental to how people judge Sam. He questions if it's in his mind or if it's truly his skin color that limits his ability to be himself.

Even in unexpected circumstances, we move forward. As Sam says, "we must have that next-play mentality". In football, if you mess up in a play you can't dwell because you have the rest of the game to prove you still got it. NEXT PLAY.

A chaotic ending to our week landed us in the ER with little Maya.

We had a week off work and it felt like a nice practice run to not having a 9-5 job. We discuss a few goals for 2023 and you get to hear me (Meg) go down a giant rabbit hole and Sam pulling me back out at the end. That's why we're a team - we got this, you got this! Thanks for sticking around! Happy New Years!

Sam talks about a food disorder he struggled with as a teen. He talks about how the condition could have started and how he's handling it right now.

Taking a deep dive into what it's like being in a relationship with another adoptee.

Let's finally talk about something we've been tip-toeing around for the past 2 years. Divorce, custody, attorneys...you can hear how shaken up we still are. Progress has been made and the most important part is how both sides have Maya's best interest at the forefront.

These conversations can get so intense and unexpected - sometimes I (Megan) want to hit that power-off button and end in the middle of a sentence but I know it's best to push through.We had such a solid conversation but at 1 hour it got erased and only 30 minutes were saved. We started again and thought…1. do we start all over again 2. Merge them together 3. Try to pick up where we ended. At this point I think it's best we just be as honest and raw as we are and put them both together side by side. A few things we unpack in this episode:-Meg starting to be more selfish with her time/responsibilities-Sam asking why Meg can't take productive criticism-Meg talking about childhood tribulation & her brother-Sam talking about being in jail and a wilderness program & how that's helped him

We start by listening to an audio clip explaining the deeper meaning of the movie 'Fight Club'. Sam breaks down part of the clip and relates it to his life - having no father and questioning what to do with this dwindling feeling of masculinity. We try to end it by talking about the root of the problem and how we think it can be reshaped.

More specifically...Brown Peruvian adoptees parenting in a rich neighborhood in NYC - but that's only to get super specific. :') Sam's a bit more sensitive to the daily stigmas he faces in NYC and you can hear his pain when he speaks about being a parent. I wish he could see what a fantastic job he's doing being Maya's dad but I know in time he'll see how much his dedication and love impact her.I've been learning to embrace the differences a lot more lately. I think maybe I have an easier time knowing Maya has two great parents already and I'm an avenue of support for them to tag me in if they need me!All and all, thank you for tuning in. We missed talking to you.

From taking care of Oreo to taking over the world...you'll just have to listen.

Maya, Sam's daughter, asked if we could do a ‘girls talk' podcast episode without daddy! She talks about: -the drama that's happening in first grade (we tried to change the names of the people we talk about) -what she likes to do for fun -what she wants to be when she grows up -a fun event we went to yesterday -an idea for a slime stand

WE'RE BACK.  In this episode, we talk about the insecurities we have about what we're wearing.  The things that affect what we wear: -Being adopted -Being a parental figure -Comparing ourselves to what others are wearing -Still feeling like kids We also talk about Mother's Day and how Sam's detoxing from caffeine cold turkey. 

Saturday night and we're feeling just right! We knew we wanted to bike downtown to eat some fish tacos…but the rest of the night was in the air and we'll ramble about it on this episode of Life of the Lost.  https://www.instagram.com/lovesupay/ or @lovesupay to check out some of the collage prints we were talking about.