Raw Man

It's official – men are in a loneliness epidemic. Equimundo recently published its “State OfAmerican Men 2023” report, showcasing some alarming statistics related to men's social and mental health. Some of the most striking statistics: 40% of all men show depressive symptoms; 44% of all men had thoughts of suicide in the prior two weeks; 65% of men aged 18 to 23 say that “no one really knows me well” ;  48% say their online lives are more engaging and rewarding than their offline lives ; and almost 30% of younger men reported not spending time with someone outside their household in the past week.Find the full report here: https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/STATE-OF-AMERICAN-MEN-2023.pdfThere are so many reasons for this, some of which are covered in the episode: men are lacking the soft skills (relational skills) that would help them build social infrastructures that support their wellbeing. Today's discussion covers how this hurts men, especially when things take a turn for the worse in their lives, and how men can proactively address this. Men need to get better at finding and growing emotionally deep and resilient relationships.--This episode references a previous episode, "Men's Groups - Why They're Critical to Everyone's Wellbeing". Listen to that here:https://pod.fo/e/20ec84--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Gentle Man is proud this week to host a longtime collaborator, Robin Nelson. Robin is a podcaster and lifelong enjoyer of videogames. We discuss videogames and their role (if any) in perpetuating real-life violence. We examine how gaming intersected our other childhood influences and the role it plays in our adult lives. Robin also explores gun ownership and how gaming fostered that interest in him. This conversation is a critical meditation on the role that outside and media influences play on male violence.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Today I'm thrilled to share my conversation with Shura Eagen, MS, LPC. Shura is a licensed therapist who works with men on a daily basis in a number of applied modalities. I invited her on the show to talk about the common issues she sees coming up for the men she works with. We discuss how men often experience unknown emotions as “anxiety”, and that befriending the sensations - rather than fixing them - is the way forward. We discuss the dynamics of partners in the home, dating in the age of digital loneliness, and raising children with more opportunity to play and find their self expression.--Shura Eagen has a master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with an emphasis in Somatic Psychology through Prescott College. She has completed advanced training in trauma-informed Hakomi Mindfulness-based Somatic Psychotherapy and Experiential Attachment Psychotherapy through the M.E.T.A. Institute in Portland, OR. In 2020, she became a level I AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) therapist, and her current focus in working with her clients is breathwork. Find Shura and learn more about her offerings athttps://www.luminousheartwellness.org/--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Today we are discussing the (what should be) controversial topic of male polarity. This is a theory popularized by David Deida that states that masculine and feminine energies must be balanced and opposite to create attraction between people. In his book "The Way of the Superior Man" and through his teachings, David outlines how people can improve their relationships and their sex lives by adhering to the behavioral guidelines of the polarity they're trying to achieve. In this episode we cover why these teachings are problematic and how they are essentially a New Age repackaging of old patriarchal ideals. We also cover alternate teachings and theories that provide much more useful and realistic blueprints for people trying to grow or preserve intimacy in their relationships.--Esther Perel's article "In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?"https://www.estherperel.com/blog/when-are-you-drawn-to-your-partner-in-long-term-relationships--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

The rigidness of expectation on male behavior from our culture is mirrored in the rigidness in the bodies of men. We internalize messages about how we're supposed to hold ourselves and act, and these messages literally shape our bodies. It can take a lifetime to assess and address the implications of this. When we are held back from expressing our authentic desires, we restrict the flow of our life's force. When we allow social expectations to limit our behavior, we stifle vital parts of ourselves. This episode identifies areas in which this commonly happens for men and outlines strategies for giving ourselves more freedom.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Shame is one of the deepest challenges men face and one of the strongest reinforcing elements defining gender roles in culture. From the moment we are born and continuing on into our lives, we are exposed to shaming by our parents, siblings, peers, romantic partners and coworkers. Shame is so pernicious because it often lurks internalized in our own psyches – we may not even be aware of the original external motive that informed our negative internal dialogues. The amount of restrictions that shame places on men consciously and unconsciously is monumental. Working through shame gives men greater access to the things they often want: success in dating and their careers, and the esteem of their peers. This episode outlines many of the ways in which shame gets instilled in us, and then supplies 6 tools and approaches for working through it.--This episode references a previous episode, "Male Body Dysmorphia - It Probably Affects You". Listen to that here:https://pod.fo/e/1ebd65--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Affection is something adult men often struggle to share with each other. We may feel comfortable showing it towards the women in our lives, whether it's our spouses or kids or other female relatives. But many men, even those who are close in friendship or share familial ties, are loath to share much physical or verbal affection with other men. Many factors go into this, such as a pervasive culture of homophobia, memory of traumatic harm at the hands of other men, and lack of sufficient role modeling in the culture at large. In this episode we explore the challenge and suggest strategies for getting more male affection in your life.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

In this episode, we're honored to bring an interview with Sage Liskey, activist author and founder of Rad Cat Press. His work for the last many years has focused on wellness in many forms. Today's conversation focuses on men's wellness, from finding community to being in more direct conversation about changing gender roles. We explore reflections on dating in a contemporary feminist climate and discuss how education could better serve children and young boys. Sage has a wealth of knowledge on wellness that goes all the way down to the genetic level.--Sage Liskey is an Oregon-born author, artist, designer, poet, event organizer, and public speaker. He is the founder of the Rad Cat Press and writes books about uplifting lives and reimagining society. His works include You're A Snarky Darkness, Radical Self-Care, and You Are A Great And Powerful Wizard.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Men often struggle to grieve. Grief is one of the most basic human impulses and imperatives. Without it, we will always on some level lead tortured or incomplete lives. Women in most cultures are more encouraged to feel and express grief, which helps them to maintain healthy emotional balance. Without this same encouragement and healthy outlet, men can become lonely, alienated and violent. Today's show discusses the challenges of male grief and suggests some approaches to unlocking it.Also don't forget to check out previous episode “Boys Don't Cry - How to Work With Feelings” for some useful tips for men wanting to get into grief: https://pod.fo/e/1e457f--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Some would consider violence to be an innate male trait. Statistics would certainly seem to back up this hypothesis. The nature / nurture debate around this and many other topics related to gender continues. Today's show focuses on the nurture side of the equation. I see a clear pattern of nurture towards boys and men that drives them in the direction of violence. In this episode I explore some of those patterns, and cover aspects of my own personal story related to male violence.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

A lot of discussion is given to the cost of privilege for the underprivileged. Less attention has been given to the ill effects of privilege on the privileged. The assumption is often that men enjoy - and benefit from - male privilege. In today's episode I argue otherwise. The ways are numerous in which male privilege separates men and makes them feel like monsters. Many of the things men most need are obscured from them by the very privilege that is purported to make their lives better. A world without privilege is a better world for men, and a better world for everyone.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Today the topic is male body dysmorphia - a preoccupation with or a belief that a part of the body is wrong or ugly. Men commonly struggle with dysmorphias related to their height, musculature, penis size, hair and other parts of the body. These are conditioned insecurities that rest upon a deep foundation of cultural expectations around what men should be and do. Today we explore these dysmorphias and how we can begin to understand and address them.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Self care is near the top of the list of things men struggle with. We are raised in a culture that tells us we don't need it, and when it is clear that we do need it, we don't know how to do it. From going to the doctor, taking downtime and relaxing, having emotionally supportive conversations with friends – men struggle to do even these basic activities. As a result, men are more prone to negative behaviors and self harming behavior. This episode talks about these challenges and suggests some ways for men to get proactive about self care.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Society is flush with the implication that men have to work, or produce something of value, in order to be respected as men. The idea of man as a machine of production has been around long before the industrial revolution – it likely dates back as far as the advent of agrarian culture, and perhaps further. As such, men are raised with the implicit imperative that they must work hard and be successful in order to be worthy. When men lose their livelihood or sense of purpose, it can come as a huge blow to their self esteem.This episode addresses this paradigm and suggests some alternative ways of approaching and living within it. Men whose sense of self-worth comes from a place deeper than how productive they are being – and divorced from any notion of how 'manly' they are – will be happier and more resilient to change.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence #toxicmasculinity

"Boys don't cry" is how the saying goes. Men have incredible trouble feeling their feelings, and it has huge consequences in their lives and in society. This episode covers how the messaging starts during infancy, how it gets perpetuated by peers in school, and how 'grown man' propaganda continues it in adulthood. Then we cover how men can start to get in touch with their feelings, and we explore methods that can concretely help to create safety and inspiration around exploring feelings.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism

Today we are joined by Dr. Arian Mobasser, neuro & behavioral scientist and coordinator of the Men's Resource Center at the University of Oregon, as well as cofounder of Circle Science. He has done men's work both theoretically through the lens of his research and pragmatically through his position at UO. In this episode we explore his deep insight into the world that young men navigate, both within and without the academic settings of colleges and fraternities. He shares how important it is to meet men where they are and to function from a fundament of understanding when doing social justice work.Follow Dr. Arian on instagram:https://www.instagram.com/arian.mobasser/Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism

Today we're examining the role of the man as protector in society. We explore how the two current main cultural warrior archetypes – the soldier and the police officer – are both dangerous and lacking in necessary restraint, moral bearing and responsibility. Then we go into healthier ways that men can express the protector role in their relationships and communities.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism

This week we are fortunate to share a conversation with Foster McKeon, a trans man and seahorse dad who has deep learning and insight into the spaces between gender binaries. We explore how he conceptualized manhood during his transition and the surprising privileges he gained along the way. Then we dive into hormones and how they do – and importantly don't! – affect our behaviors. Finally, we explore the complex and rich experience of being a trans man giving birth (known as 'seahorse dads') and some of the social challenges therein.This episode also contains a deep rumination on male violence against women and how invisible it can be to other men. There are aspects of this work that are mostly or only visible to women, which underscores the importance of believing women and survivors of abuse. I am so grateful to be able to have this deep and insightful conversation with a man who has been on so many sides of the cultural navigation between genders.--Find Foster on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dearellisonlouise/https://www.instagram.com/foster.the.person/--Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!--The track "Radio Right Now" by Felix Laband is used with direct permission from the artist. Find Felix's music here:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3E6Tbv49KoKnCoGqHJHQGx?si=Np0twh5xTv2ah2aBkfJKPw#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence #toxicmasculinity

Today we are joined by Luke Adler, a bodyworker and spiritual healer with deep insight into men's challenges and their movement towards maturity. On this show we discuss key points in his childhood and adolescence that shaped his adult understanding of manhood and a spiritual life. We dip into topics such as reconciling assertiveness with gentleness, clean shame and what it looks like, and some of the dynamics underlying straight relationships between men and women.Find Luke online:The Luke Adler Healing Podcasthttps://open.spotify.com/show/6k6WH1tFeL7hWzJY6aKr8y?si=c5adc1a257014e8bInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukeadlerhealing/Website: https://lukeadlerhealing.com/Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #masculinity #feminism

Today's episode focuses on the toll homophobia takes on society, with a focus on its effects on straight men. The harm goes so far beyond the harm to gay and queer men. Straight men need to examine how they are perpetuating homophobic behaviors and how they can experience more pleasure, connection and wellbeing by escaping them.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast#boys #men #masculinity #feminism

Today's episode tackles the vulnerable and complex topic of men's relationship with beauty and aesthetics. Men are encouraged away from aesthetic pursuits and towards concretely productive pursuits. This focus denies many men from experiencing beauty, or feeling beautiful. This in turn prevents men from experiencing pleasure and from exploring their tenderer selves.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast#boys #men #masculinity #feminism

Today's episode looks at men's health through the lens of average life expectancy. The episode is informed by this article in the Washington Post:https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/04/17/mens-health-longevity-gap/Using the statistics in this article as a baseline, Arjuna explores the ways that men are not showing up for their wellness and self care. The episode lays out a number of ways men can create more wellness and resilience in their lives.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast#boys #men #masculinity #feminism

Join Arjuna in going through his 4 Tenets of 21st Century Manhood. These are 4 categories that, when focused on, can help men transform their lives and their relationships. The 4 categories are:Do no harmContributeWork on yourselfDevelop social awarenessWhen men embrace and work on these 4 tenets, they will see huge positive change in their lives. They will start to feel like more responsible and empowered participants in their families, relationships, communities and workplaces.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast#boys #men #masculinity #feminism

Gentle Man returns – new, updated, reinvigorated! Today, Arjuna tackles the big picture question troubling lots of men: is manhood shrinking? Are the parameters of acceptable behavior narrowing in the wake of the #metoo movement and other 21st century criticisms? Are men less today than they once were?This show presents a counterpoint – rather than getting smaller, manhood is growing in the space it provides men to experience rich and fulfilling lives. Men today have more space to feel their feelings, express themselves, get the support they need and live healthier lives than they have at any other time in recent memory. This show will explore the ways in which manhood is expanding and affording men more opportunities for self-knowing and self-expression.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast#boys #men #masculinity #feminism

This episode goes into what I feel is missing from the cultural dialogue about what men need – missing not from the conversation entirely, but underrepresented by the main information outlets I see.

My reaction to George Floyd's murder in Minneapolis, and how it reflects on male violence, power and racism.

Today, we discuss what it means to fit in and be "one of the guys." There's a surprising amount of misconception when it comes to what this means or looks like. We take the example of a young trans man trying to understand what being "one of the guys" means to explore the broader conversation about manhood and male behavior.

How can men wield power and yet feel so disempowered? Why do some men feel threatened by the idea of women gaining power? This episode is a meditation on the nature of power and how it is healthily and unhealthily expressed.

Men hear it their whole lives – "If only you were man enough." This damaging phrase is at the heart of a lot of compensating – and ultimately harmful – behaviors. Let's dive into 'man enough' and see what's really there.

"Boys don't cry" is how the saying goes. Men have incredible trouble feeling their feelings, and it has huge consequences in their lives and in society.

Today, we explore the nice guy / asshole dichotomy, how it demeans everyone, and how misunderstood niceness is.

This week we explore how men are expected to be "the rock" in their work and personal relationships and keep it together.

Today we're going over men's groups, exploring positive and negative opinions on them, and discussing their importance in the culture.

Today, I explore manhood and how I define it.

Welcome to Raw Man. This is an introduction to the show, and my initial reflections on why a podcast about manhood is important.