Podcasts about OBS

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Best podcasts about OBS

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Latest podcast episodes about OBS

Sista Måltiden
#205 - En tjockumentär (Gäst: Fredrik Boltes)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2023 60:54


Gänget gästas av komikern, producenten och artisten Fredrik Boltes. Han har producerat Svenska Nyheter och är grundare och sångare i reggaebandet Partiet. Fredrik är aktuell med dokumentärserien Min tjockumentär som skildrar hans liv som överviktig före, under och efter en magsäcksoperation.Min tjockumentär på SVT PlayBiljetter till Fredriks standupturné Boltes Feta ShowOBS. Det här är inte hela avsnittet. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Animation Industry Podcast
Episode 235: Stop Motion Animator Dale Hayward On Perfectionism In Animation

Animation Industry Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2023 59:11


This chat features renowned stop motion animator Dale Hayward, co-owner of See Creature Animation Studio in Montreal, Canada. His credits include the feature film The Little Prince, the NFB short Bone Mother, as well as a number of commercial spots for Nike, Honda, Tim Hortons, and Hot Wheels. Hayward shares his recent experience directing the New Zealand claymation kid's show Kiri and Lou as well as his thoughts on the idea of achieving perfectionism in animation. Tune in to Ibele and Hayward to hear: *Why Kiri and Lou is one of the few claymation shows in the world *Common misconceptions around how to achieve actual perfectionism in animation *Five steps to drastically improve your animation performance ~[SPONSORED MESSAGE]~ This episode is sponsored by HUE. Makers of colorful, Plug & Play cameras for learning, work and play. Originally designed for teachers, HUE cameras can also be used for creative activities such as capturing hand-drawn pencil tests and shooting behind-the-scenes footage, time-lapse videos and stop motion animation. The cameras have flexible, posable necks, manual focus controls and they are compatible with Dragonframe, OBS, Twitch, Zoom and many other camera apps. Visit huehd.com to learn more and follow @HUEcameras on social media for news, fun and giveaways. Get 10% off any Hue product from www.huehd.com with code: 10TERRYAIP ~~ Social Links: *Follow Hayward on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dale_seecreature/ *Follow See Creature on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seecreature_anim/ *Check out Hayward's website: https://www.seecreature.ca/ *Add Hayward on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/see-creature-animation/

Sista Måltiden
#204 - Fader Mikael (Gäst: Fader Mikael Fälthammar)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2023 62:00


Den ortodoxa prästen Fader Mikael Fälthammar gästar gänget. Fader Mikael har en masterexamen i teologi från Göteborgs universitet och är verksam som präst vid Kristi Uppståndelses Ortodoxa församling.OBS. Hela avsnittet är 2 tim 51 min långt. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Torsdagar med Jessica
163: Brave New Shiny You 2024 + meditation

Torsdagar med Jessica

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2023 18:55


Hej fantastiska du!Jag är så glad att kunna presentera Brave New Shiny You 2024 för dig! Detta är en fantastiskt möjlighet för dig att kliva in i din fulla kraft och vara den du är här för att vara! Brave New Shiny You är något helt nytt i min business och erbjudandet kommer bara att gälla en begränsad tid och i ett begränsat antal. Brave New Shiny You består av Shine Your Light, Courage och en privat session med mig där vi tittar på vad som håller tillbaka just dig från att stå i din fulla kraft så att du kan ta dig förbi detta och var mer du! Jag avslutar detta avsnitt med en fantastiskt jordande meditation som hjälper dig att låta hjärtat guida dig. Keep Shining!Jessica

Sista Måltiden
#203 - Israeliskt folkförsvar

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 56:52


Gänget drabbar samman i klassisk anda.OBS. Det här är inte hela avsnittet. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sista Måltiden
#203 - Israeliskt folkförsvar

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 56:52


Gänget drabbar samman i klassisk anda.OBS. Det här är inte hela avsnittet. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Umeå Studentradio
Världens bästa julkalendrar 2. Sunes jul

Umeå Studentradio

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 22:35


Frida återvänder till julkalendrarna, och den här gången diskuteras Sunes jul från 1991. Hur är julstämningen hos familjen Andersson? Fungerar humorn lika bra för barnen som för de vuxna? Vem stal egentligen pepparkaksdegen, och vill man verkligen äta den efteråt? OBS! I dagens program påstås det att skådespelerskan Meta Velander fyller hundra år den 23 augusti 2024. Detta är inkorrekt då Velanders födelsedatum är den 13 augusti, inte 23 augusti.

vem detta obs b sta andersson fungerar sunes julkalendrar meta velander
OBS
Stoppa ljusföroreningarna och anamma mörkret!

OBS

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 9:44


Många svenskar tillbringar stora delar av året med att längta efter ljuset. Eva-Lotta Hultén är inte en av dem och i denna essä varnar hon för det artificiella ljusets lockelse. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. ESSÄ: Detta är en text där skribenten reflekterar över ett ämne eller ett verk. Åsikter som uttrycks är skribentens egna. Essän publicerades första gången år 2020.Får man längta efter mörker i det här landet?Någon gång på senvåren börjar det. I takt med att dagarna blir längre blir jag allt mer nedslagen. Årstidsbunden depression drabbar de flesta på hösten och vintern men mig slår den mot på sommaren. Det tog ett tag att förstå vad det var för fel på mig. Jag tycker ju om att bada, odla, spana på växter och mycket annat som man främst kan ägna sig åt på sommaren. Ändå mådde jag så dåligt. Med september kom befrielsen men jag greppade inte att det var själva mörkret som var medicinen. För det är ju så med vårt språk och vår kultur att ordet ljust är synonymt med gott och glatt och alla förväntas älska sol och värme. Det gjorde det svårt för mig att få syn på att hösten äntligen gav mitt mörkerälskande jag löfte om ljusare tider.Men eftersom normen är att älska ljus försöker vi förvandla även höst och vinter till en enda lång ljusmanifestation och förstör de njutningar som mörkret erbjuder. Som promenader i så starkt månljus att träden kastar långa skuggor; eller vandring under stjärnklara himlar som gnistrar och överväldigar med sin oändlighet.Vi sätter upp fasadbelysningar och ljusslingor och gatlampor och strålkastare för att belysa träd och hus och pyntar vartenda fönster med lampor och allt detta ljus bildar ljusföroreningar. Människor som bor i städer ser allt färre stjärnor och märker allt mindre av månens sken. Eftersom gatlampor bara gör det riktigt ljust något tiotal meter omkring sig så upplever vi dessutom områden bortanför lampskenet som mörkare än om inte det artificiella ljuset funnits där som kontrast. Och så känner vi oss manade att lysa upp mer och mer av våra samhällen, för ingen människa ska ju behöva vara rädd för mörker. En effekt av det har fått det poetiska namnet himlaglim: ett diffust sken som i värsta fall kan bädda in hela städer i en gul kupol helt utan natthimmel. Alltfler människor lyser också upp alltmer av sina trädgårdar. Men om en massa lampor lyser i trädgården går det ju inte att se vad som finns bortanför ljuskäglorna. Sikten blir kortare, världen mindre. Och nattliga vandrare får sin mörkersyn förstörd.Det är inte bara vi mänskliga mörkerälskare som lider av det myckna artificiella ljuset på fel tider av dygnet och året. I boken ”Mörkermanifestet” berättar författaren och biologen Johan Eklöf om hur ljusföroreningar påverkar även djur och växter. Han börjar med sitt eget expertområde: fladdermössen. För 40 år sedan gjordes en studie som visade att två tredjedelar av kyrktornen i Västergötland hyste fladdermösskolonier. Eklöfs forskning visar att siffran nu sjunkit till en tredjedel. Skälet är att många kyrkor numera är upplysta av strålkastare för att synliggöra arkitekturen. Fladdermössen blir förvirrade och vet inte om det är natt eller dag. Istället för att ge sig ut och söka föda kurar de kvar inne i mörkret och svälter ihjäl.En tredjedel av alla ryggradsdjur och nästan två tredjedelar av de ryggradslösa djuren är nattlevande. De får sina dygns-, parnings- och födosöksrytmer störda, med förödande konsekvenser. Nattfjärilar är en av de mest drabbade arterna. De är lika viktiga pollinerare som bina men utför sitt jobb nattetid och fastnar lätt i ljuskäglor av olika slag när de försöker orientera sig efter månen, och dör. Den totala insektsbiomassan minskar i naturen och ökar i våra städer eftersom insekter som borde hålla till i skogen eller på ängen men förvirras av artificiellt ljus, är många. Jag förstår dem. När jag precis flyttat ut på landet blev jag själv lurad eftersom det såg ut som att solen gått ner rakt i söder, där himlen glödde vackert röd. Tills jag fick förklarat för mig att det var ljuslågorna från raffinaderiet i Stenungsund, två mil bort. Överbliven gas behöver emellanåt eldas upp och från de höga skorstenarna kan lågorna stå 20 meter höga. En annan ahaupplevelse fick jag för några år sedan då jag ännu flög och färdades över Egypten nattetid. Under mig syntes Nilen som en starkt upplyst orm genom landskapet. Människorna hade koncentrerats kring vattnet och ljuset spillde 10 000 meter upp i atmosfären. Men inte bara människor behöver vatten för att kunna leva. Vad gjorde den starka belysningen med alla andra levande varelser som rimligen är koncentrerade kring Nilen?Ljusföroreningarna rubbar och utarmar våra ekosystem och Johan Eklöf går till storms mot vår vansinniga strävan att lysa upp allt i vår värld. Förutom att det stör djur- och även växtliv är det också ett gigantiskt energislöseri – en tiondel av all vår energiförbrukning går till belysning. Studier visar att för mycket, och fel sorts, artificiellt ljus bidrar till sömnsvårigheter, depressioner, fetma och vissa cancerformer. Så vad innebär det för invånare, djur och växter i den kinesiska staden Chengdu om en artificiell måne följer staden; en satellit som ska spegla ner solljus åtta gånger starkare än naturligt månljus om natten?Visserligen minskar kriminaliteten i mer upplysta miljöer men vi kanske kunde prata lite om vilket pris vi betalar för det? Lösningen måste inte vara total mörkläggning. Vi skulle inte bara kunna minska på ljuset utan också bli mycket bättre på att skärma av ljus så att det lyser på rätt ställen och inte strålar ut i atmosfären. Och vi skulle kunna välja färg på våra ljuskällor med större omsorg. Nattinsekter flyger framför allt mot grönt, blått och ultraviolett ljus. Gatlampor som lyser i orange är ett mindre problem än de som lyser med vitt sken – som innehåller stora mängder violetta nyanser. Också andra djur och växter, och vi människor, påverkas olika av olika färger på ljuset. Och till skillnad från andra föroreningar kan vi göra något åt de som har med ljus att göra och få omedelbar effekt.Några av mina allra starkaste naturupplevelser har jag haft i mörker: nätter med mareld så intensiv att fiskars flykt under bryggan blir till långa ljusblixtar i vattnet och varje vågskvalp upp på stranden ser ut som flytande guld över sanden; nattliga bad i mörka sjöar, lägereldar, månljuspromenader, att ligga i sovsäck under bar himmel med åskblixtar i fjärran. Mörker gör det möjligt att se det naturliga ljuset och de ljusfenomen naturen bjuder på. Därför blir jag glad av att läsa i Mörkermanifestet att man runtom i världen börjat uppmärksamma problemen med ljusföroreningar alltmer och också börjat värna mörkret. Strandpromenader släcks ner för att invånarna ska kunna se havet ordentligt även när det är mörkt; LED-belysning anpassas för att lysa med olika sken beroende på när på dygnet det är; länder stiftar lagar som sätter stopp för ljusföroreningar ut i atmosfären och kräver ljusavskärmning; The International Dark Sky Association certifierar mörkerparker, kommuner och reservat som kan uppvisa extraordinär natthimmel, fri från störande ljus. Låt oss, som Johan Eklöf formulerar det, fånga natten - carpe noctem. Mörkrets krafter, mobilisera er!Eva-Lotta Hultén, författare och journalist

Historier från Hälsingland
Helsingesägner del 4

Historier från Hälsingland

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2023 32:28


Idag fortsätter vår genomgång av militären och tecknaren från Söderhamn Wilhelm Engelkes samling av Helsingesägner, vilket släpptes i tryckt form för första gången 1879 I dagens avsnitt återfinns berättelserna "Hur det kom finnblod i släkten", "Kungens tjänare" och "En skrömthistoria".  Missa inte årets sista berättarkväll som går av stapeln den 10 dec kl. 18 på Gamla Järnboa i Kilafors. Vi utlovar julsägner, trolldom, livsöden kring Ödmården, spökhistorier och mycket, mycket mer. OBS! Ytterst få platser. Pris endast 100 kr per person. Förboka via SWISH 1235672431 (skriv i meddelanderutan 10 dec + förnamn på den/de som kommer). För mer info se Facebook samt vår hemsida historierfranhalsingland.se  Vill du, ditt företag eller förening boka in Historier från Hälsingland för en kväll? Kontakta oss via kontakta@historierfranhalsingland.se alt ring 0739937451  Följ oss gärna på TikTok. Historier från Hälsingland har också en systerpodd vid namn Historier från Dalarna. Den hittar du där poddar finns. 

1023 Diesel Shop Talk
Ep. 62 | OBS 7.3 Build with a New Engine - Whats Next?

1023 Diesel Shop Talk

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2023 28:36


1023 Diesel Shop Talk PodcastIn this episode:Listener Question - When do you need an HPOP?Build call on OBS build with new engineLooking for more but reliable powerOwn a 7.3 Powerstroke? You are in the right place.The Build list: Reliable Tow Rig Build List | OBS 7.3LBlack Friday Deals: SHOP HEREIf you have any additional questions, drop them in the comments.Want to join the podcast or have questions or topics you want more info on?Email us: media@1023diesel.comShop with us: 1023diesel.comSchedule a build call: Plan Your Build

engine obs powerstroke
OBS
Korkad godhet och übersmart ondska

OBS

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2023 9:11


Är den deprimerade människan smartare än den lyckliga? Lars Hermansson reflekterar kring det filosofiska självmordet. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. ESSÄ: Detta är en text där skribenten reflekterar över ett ämne eller ett verk. Åsikter som uttrycks är skribentens egna.Varför är den gode dum, den onde klok, varför är allting en trasa? undrar berättaren i Carl Jonas Love Almqvists satiriska stycke Ormus och Ariman. Det är han inte ensam om. Föreställningen om godheten som enkel och lite korkad och ondskan som komplex och intelligent, har djupa rötter till åtminstone bibeln, tänk till exempel Guds lamm å ena sidan, och ormen i paradiset å den andra, den illistiga varelse som förleder Adam och Eva att äta av kunskapens frukt på gott och ont. Innan dess fanns ingen synd, all ondska var samlad på enda plats, hos djävulen och hans anhang. Men i och med det där äpplet gavs vi möjligheten att välja gott eller ont, oskuld eller erfarenhet, gud eller djävulen.Det finns en uppsjö kulturprodukter, från ormen i Första Mosebok till Jokern i Batman som reproducerar motsatsparet korkad godhet/smart eller kanske übersmart ondska. I förlängningen av tankefiguren finns föreställningen om att intelligens, i synnerhet den ondskefulla förstås, leder till olycka. Annars vore ju allt verkligen en trasa. ”Dumm sein und arbeit haben, das ist Glück”, som den tyske poeten Gottfried Benn skrev, alltså ”Lycka, det är att vara dum och ha ett jobb”.De som är intelligenta nog att vara missnöjda med sakernas tillstånd, förtvivlade, olyckliga, kanske till och med ondskefulla – för att kompensera för den olycka de måst utstå, inbillad eller ej – sådana vimlar det av i böcker, teveserier och filmer. De godmodiga och hyfsat nöjda däremot anses inte lika intressanta.Därför är den engelske regissören Mike Leighs film Happy go Lucky från 2008 intressant, den handlar om en ung tjej, Poppy, spelad av Sally Hawkins, som tar tillvaron med en klackspark, och inte har särskilt höga förväntningar på livet, vilket stör somliga i hennes omgivning. Hon trivs med jobbet som lärare, dansar gärna, går på puben, skrattar ofta och högt, ibland blir hon beklämd av andras olycka, men det rinner av henne. Hon har ett starkt rättvisepatos, men hon är ingen revolutionär, hon jobbar på utan större åthävor, och är, verkar det, hyfsat lycklig. Dum? Nej, hon går kanske inte runt och strör citat omkring sig, men hon är en fena på att lösa konflikter, både privat och i arbetslivet, och på att sprida glädje, till de som har vett att ta emot den, vilket inte alla har, och kanske är det det som är filmens sensmoral. Att EQ och IQ inte riktigt förstår varandra.Poppy har sin antites i Johnny, huvudpersonen i Mike Leighs genombrottsfilm, Naked från 1993, om en ung, arbetslös, och till synes beläst solipsist som driver runt och lever på andra och frenetiskt argumenterar för att livet är meningslöst. Är han smartare än Poppy, ser han tillvaron klarare? Det förblir oklart i filmen. Han går runt och säger sådant som: ”You might have had the happiest moment in your fucking life, and all you have to look forward to is sickness and pervertry”. Jaja, men det kan ju också vara tvärtom, att det lyckligaste ögonblicket i livet ligger framför en. Jonnys svartsyn är inte intellektuellt övertygande, och inte heller särskilt intelligent.För det är ju inte den intellektuella stringensen eller briljanta samtidsanalysen som gör att vi lyssnar till Dostojevskijs källarman eller Becketts och Thomas Bernhards gnällspikar. Det är för måttlösheten, för att de vägrar vara resonliga i sin svartsyn, för att de beter sig som arga treåringar med en professors ordförråd. Det är klart att det ligger en del i vad de säger, inte minst idag, klimatkris, krig och fattigdom, och dö ska vi också, utan att förstå varför vi kom hit från början. ”Varför är vi inte i paradiset”, lyder mottot till en av Ann Jäderlunds böcker. ”Varför är vi inte i helvetet?” kunde man lika gärna fråga. För de flesta av oss är ju inte det, trots allt, annat än tillfälligt. Poppys livsglädje är filosofiskt sett lika befogad eller obefogad som Jonnys nihilism. Och inte mindre intelligent.En av de mer övertygande i skaran av litterära kverulanter är Alicia Western, huvudperson i det som kom att bli Cormac McCarthys sista roman, Stella Maris. Alicia är ett ungt mattegeni som redan som tonåring umgås med den internationella forskareliten inom kvantmekanik, och som dryga tjugo år gammal tar livet av sig av filosofiska skäl, skäl som hon redogör för inför en terapeut på en psykiatrisk klinik där hon lagt in sig, inte för att få hjälp, utan för att umgås med en av de inlagda hon fattat tycke för vid en tidigare vistelse på kliniken.Alicia är mindre aggressiv än Johnny, mer vältalig och beläst, men lika bottenlöst förtvivlad. Av filosofiska skäl är hon noga med att inskärpa, hon är inte deprimerad. Fan tro´t. Romanen är andra delen i en diptyk, där den första utgörs av Passageraren, i vilken Alicias brors historia berättas. Även Bobby, som brorsan heter, är, liksom alla i familjen, ett mattegeni – inte ett lika stort som lillasystern, vilket, helt enligt den logik denna essä undersöker, gör honom lite mindre olycklig; han lyckas utveckla vänskaper, odla en annan och annan kärleksrelation, ha ett jobb.Bägge syskonen är sympatiska. De har inte vänt sina livsbesvikelser utåt, som Jonny i Mike Leighs film. De är artiga, belevade, någorlunda hela och rena för det mesta, och det som framför allt skiljer dem från deras olycksbröder och enstaka systrar bland kulturhistoriens lamentörer, är att de har skådat tillvarons meningslöshet ändå ned på kvarknivå. Kvarkarna har så fåniga namn, säger Alicia till terapeuten: ”Toppkvark och bottenkvark. Uppkvark och nerkvark. En positron består av två uppkvarkar och en nerkvark. En neutron av två nerkvarkar och en uppkvark. Allt funkar. Ingen vet riktigt hur.” Och det är det som plågar henne så, att det stora ovetbara är just det, ovetbart. ”Verkligheten är i bästa fall en kollektiv magkänsla”, säger hon.Och sedan tar hon alltså livet av sig.Albert Camus berättar i Myten om Sisyfos om en fastighetsdirektör som förlorat sin dotter, och hur denna händelse hade citat ”underminerat honom”, vilket leder fram till hans självmord. ”Att börja tänka”, skriver Camus lite senare, ”är detsamma som att börja bli underminerad.” Jag kan förstå fastighetsdirektören, men jag förstår inte Camus. Jag tror inte på det filosofiska självmordet. Jag tror det är en litterär konstruktion. Folk tar livet av sig för att de är deprimerade, och inte kan se någon väg ut ur depressionen, för att de upplever livet som meningslöst, inte för att de tagit del av smarta argument. Alicia Western har en liten låtsaskompis som besöker henne i hennes rum ibland. En glåmig novemberdag står han och slötittar ut genom fönstret och säger: ”Livet. Vad kan man säga? Det är inte för alla.” Inget vidare skarpt argument, men för den som länge känt att allt är en trasa, kan en sådan replik vara en utlösande faktor.Lars Hermansson, författare och kritiker

WJB
Karekano (ft. Rosalite & Nighstark) | WJReview

WJB

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2023 118:04


Em mais um WJReview, ⁠Maitos⁠, acompanhado pelos convidados ⁠Rosalite⁠ e ⁠Nighstark⁠ analisam o mangá shoujo KAREKANO (Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou, ou as razões dele, os motivos dela), da autoria de Masami Tsuda, popular no Brasil em 2006 e conhecido pela polêmica da adaptação. Será que é um dos melhores shoujos já escritos? Como lidar com as problemáticas da obra? Final incrível, ou rushado? Essa e outras perguntas serão respondidas no podcast! Obs: este programa tem Spoilers, então, por favor, leia o mangá antes de ouvir o episódio! Você foi avisado!

OBS
Traumat är vår tids musa

OBS

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2023 9:28


Hur ser bilden av inspiration ut idag? Kristoffer Leandoer berättar hur traumat blivit vår tids musa. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. ESSÄ: Detta är en text där skribenten reflekterar över ett ämne eller ett verk. Åsikter som uttrycks är skribentens egna.I sjuttonde avsnittet av Neil Gaimans kultförklarade serie Sandman, häftet som publicerades maj 1990, hålls en av antikens nio muser fängslad på övervåningen i ett hus i det moderna London. Förövaren heter Ric Madoc och är en författare med skrivkramp, musans namn är Kalliope, den skönsjungande, som brukar betecknas som den episka eller den heroiska poesins musa. Madoc köper Kalliope av hennes tidigare utnyttjare, våldtar henne och använder henne som ersättning för sin egen sinade skaparkraft, konstgjord andning för ett författarskap som gått i stå. Madoc skriver som i trans, tiden flyger och rekordsnabbt har han skrivit klart sin roman. Snart tar han framgången för självklar och har inte tanke på att ge upp det han tillskansat sig. Den gudomliga hålls fången tills hon räddas av sin forne älskare Oneiros, drömmarnas herre: Sandman själv.Episoden visar hur grundfrämmande föreställningen om gudomlig inspiration är för vår tid. Vi tänker oss att det måste vara en form av fusk, en illegal hantering som kräver övervåld och smussel. Gudomen kommer in i vår värld genom en reva i verklighetens väv, här blir hon genast ett traffickingoffer.Att överlämna sig åt en gudom, att göra sig själv till ett kärl för det gudomligas stämma – nej, det går ju inte, tvärtom måste det vara! Ingen ger frivilligt upp makten över sitt eget jag. Vi vill vara Miles Davis, inte hans trumpet.Vi måste få vara den aktiva parten, om det så reducerar oss själva till kidnappare och våldtäktsmän. Jublet över att sångmön visat sin gunst var så självklart för tidigare generationer att det formaliserades i standardfraser: man inledde sin dikt med att tacka henne för att hon stigit ner från Helikons berg och nedlåtit sig till att ta en i besittning.Det jublet tillhör inte direkt den samtida ljudbilden.Muserna måste solkas ner för att inte lämna oss likgiltiga. Annat är det med sagan om Filomela i Ovidius Metamorfoser, våldtäktsoffret som får tungan avskuren men ändå hittar ett sätt att berätta om sitt trauma. Den är en självklar utgångspunkt och referens för moderna poeter och dyker ständigt upp på nytt. Liksom naturligtvis Orfeus, berövad sin Eurydike på själva tröskeln ut från dödsriket.Orfeus mamma var just Kalliope, som i sin tur var dotter till Mnemosyne, minnets gudinna, och Zeus som i en herdes gestalt överfallit gudinnan.Både hennes mamma och son tycks mer relevanta idag än Kalliope själv. Mnemosyne står i centrum för den litterära samtidsdebatten och dess turer kring autofiktion och självbiografiskt skrivande: vem har rätt till minnet som ett sätt att gestalta det förflutna?Vår tids främsta inspiration är traumat, såret, övergreppet och förlusten. Det som saknas, det vi berövats: inte det vi skänks i överflöd. För oss är skapandet en process som sätts igång av att vi berövas något. Hur många sorgeböcker har vi inte läst de senaste åren? Hur många böcker om kränkningar, sjukdom?När verklighetens muser tar till orda är det för att gå i svaromål. Offret för en vältalig förövare kräver genmäle, som i Samtycket, där Vanessa Springora bryter ett livs tystnad och berättar hur hon som fjortonåring utnyttjades sexuellt av den då över femtioårige författaren Gabriel Matzneff, som inte ens drog sig för att använda hennes brev i sin egen litterära produktion – Min ögonsten, hans bok där Springora alltså helt ofrivilligt medverkar i rollen som författarens musa, utkom bara något år efter Sandmanepisoden ”Kalliope”: verkligheten går i diktens fotspår.Den moderna musan kräver replik, eller betackar sig för uppgiften. I Leif Randts samtidsroman Allegro Pastell skildras en sällsynt harmonisk kärleksaffär mellan webdesignern Jerome och författaren på modet Tanja Arnheim. Efter framgången för hennes senaste bok har Tanja haft svårt att komma igång med ett nytt projekt tills hon en dag formulerar följande idé för Jerome: ”mitt nya skrivprojekt ska bli en beskrivning av lycka. Jag tänkte att jag skulle kunna berätta om hur du och jag tillbringar några veckor i Hongkong”. Kort efteråt kapsejsar deras förhållande för första gången, och med tiden väljer Jerome affärskvinnan Marlene som klarar sig utmärkt på egen hand och inte har minsta användning för en musa.Den moderna musan kan också ta makten över relationen, som hos singer/songwritern Lana Del Rey. Genom hela hennes produktion genklingar populärkulturens fascination för spelet mellan manliga förövare och tragiska kvinnogestalter som Natalie Wood, Marilyn Monroe eller Sylvia Plath. Hon förskjuter rollerna, ändrar maktbalansen. En gestalt hon återkommit till är den tolvåriga Lolita i Vladimir Nabokovs roman. När Lana Del Rey citerar förövaren Humbert Humberts åkallan av sin unga musa, är det för att ta orden ur munnen på förövaren och ge dem till offret i stället: på så sätt får Lolita sin röst.Nabokovs skapelse är extra tacksam för lekar av detta slag eftersom rollväxlingarna redan finns hos honom och har vilselett läsare ända sedan Lolita utkom 1955. Eftersom han använder ett av sina favorittrick: en extremt opålitlig berättarröst, nämligen förövarens egen, har många velat se Lolita som ett uttryck för författarens egna intressen.Som bevis har anförts ett textställe i självbiografin Tala, minne där det berättas om en färgstark morbror med lila nejlika i knapphålet och ungkarlsvanor, som gärna satte Vladimir i knäet och smekte honom, tills han tröttnade på pojken vid pubertetens inträde, och avfärdade honom med beskedet att han en dag skulle få ärva allt.Men den som säger ”jag” i en berättelse av Nabokov ljuger alltid, även när denna berättelse kallas självbiografi. Tala, minne hette från början Tala, Mnemosyne. Nabokov åkallar alltså gudinnan direkt, och till skillnad från de övriga män vi mött försöker han inte betvinga det gudomligas kraft. Hans text är en form av jubel, ren och skär lycka över att finnas till: ”När jag skärskådar min barndom”, skriver han, ”ser jag medvetandets uppvaknande som en kedja av uppflammanden som uppträder med allt kortare mellanrum tills helt belysta förnimmelseblock bildas, som ger minnet ett slipprigt fotfäste.” Medvetandet är alltså inte uttryck för det egna jaget, utan en plats där gudinnan får tända sin eld: är inte det vackert?Kristoffer Leandoer, författare, essäist och översättare.

This Week in Linux
242: Blender 4, OBS 30, Red Hat, AlmaLinux, €1Million to GNOME & more Linux news

This Week in Linux

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2023 23:56


On this episode of TWIL (242), we'll find out if it will blend with Blender 4.0. OBS project has released OBS Studio 30. AlmaLinux has a new release with 9.3. GNOME is getting funding of 1 Million euros. The Linux Foundation is creating a new foundation for High Performance Software. All of this and more […]

Bogafjellkirke
Gudstjeneste 19.11.23 - Den som har ører, hør - Torstein Eidem Nordal

Bogafjellkirke

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2023 16:26


Hvem sier nei til en invitasjon? Jesu lignelse om det store gjestebudet (Luk 14) og helbredelsen av den døvstumme (Mark 7) setter rammen for dagens preken. Det er ikke bare gaven som koster. Det kan koste å invitere også. Og det kan koste å gi et svar. Når Jesus inviterer til fest, så er det en ting som står i veien for de fleste. OBS! I bildet om togsporene, bruker Torstein feilaktig ordet "sviller". Det er ikke alltid prekenen går på "skinner"!

OBS
Med musan in i döden

OBS

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2023 10:00


Stefan Zweigs sista år utspelade sig i Förintelsens skugga, tillsammans med hustrun Lotte. Men vem var hon? Elin Grelsson söker ett svar och reflekterar över felet med bilden av den passiva musan. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. ESSÄ: Detta är en text där skribenten reflekterar över ett ämne eller ett verk. Åsikter som uttrycks är skribentens egna.Det är februari 1942 och eftermiddag i den brasilianska staden Petrópolis när hushållerskan, som inte sett till paret i huset under hela dagen, slutligen öppnar dörren till sovrummet. I sängen ligger två avlidna kroppar. Den ena tillhör Stefan Zweig, en av mellankrigstidens mest lästa, produktiva och hyllade författare som sedan drygt två år lever i exil. Intill honom är hustrun Lotte. Hon är 33 år, han är 60.Dagen innan har Stefan postat memoarboken ”Världen av igår” till sin förläggare. Den utkommer senare samma år via ett förlag i Stockholm och är i våra dagar fortfarande en vida läst och omdiskuterad bok. Den i exilen nedtecknade berättelsen om uppväxten i det habsburgska imperiet, ungdomsår under första världskriget och ett liv i Hitlers alltmer hotande skugga räknas av många som Zweigs största verk. Bakom sig lämnar han också ett avskedsbrev, som blivit närmast ikoniskt i sitt melodramatiska avslut.”Jag hälsar alla mina vänner. Måtte de få se gryningen efter den långa natten. Jag, alltför otålig, går före dem”, skriver han.Från den unga hustrun som ligger vid hans sida, och som tillsammans med honom tagit en dödlig dos sömnmedel, finns däremot inga efterlämnade anteckningar, memoarer eller någon sista hälsning. Om Stefan Zweig har det skrivits mängder av biografier och artiklar, men hustrun Lotte förblir än idag rätt okänd. I de biografier där hon omnämns beskrivs hon som en blek, melankolisk och tystlåten flicka, som därtill lider av en svår astma som tidvis tvingade henne till sjukhus- och sanatorievistelser. Men kring hennes bevekelsegrunder, inre tankar och vad som ledde henne till en tidig död i Brasilien är det svårt att få fatt i något.Det vi vet är att Lotte Altmann föds 1908 som yngsta barnet med tre äldre bröder i en judisk företagarfamilj och studerar franska, engelska och nationalekonomi på universitetet i Frankfurt. Efter nationalsocialisternas maktövertagande får hon sommaren 1933 veta att hon inte längre är välkommen tillbaka till universitetet. Hennes bror Manfred, vars läkarpraktik några månader tidigare tvingats upphöra, har flytt Tyskland för London och Lotte följer snart efter. Hon läser språkkurser och söker arbete genom en organisation för judiska flyktingar. Det är genom den som Friderike Zweig hittar en ny sekreterare åt sin man.Han har nyligen lämnat hemlandet Österrike, efter att antisemitism och förföljelse har ökat och deras hem i Salzburg utsatts för en godtycklig husrannsakan av polisen. Nu bestämmer han och hustrun att hon och hennes döttrar från ett tidigare äktenskap ska stanna kvar och han vara baserad i London på obestämd framtid. Men då behövs en sekreterare, som kan sköta praktikaliteter och korrespondens på samma sätt som Friderike brukar göra.Det dröjer inte länge innan Stefan och Lotte inleder en kärleksrelation, inte heller innan den upptäcks av Friderike. 1938 är skilsmässan ett faktum och året därpå gifter han om sig med Lotte. Han skriver till vännen, författaren Joseph Roth, och berättar lyckligt om sin nyförälskelse:”Jag känner mig återigen oviss och full av nyfikenhet. Nu, som 53-åring, njuter jag av en ung kvinnas kärlek.”Det är en klassisk, ja stereotyp historia som utspelar sig; den äldre kulturmannen och den unga sekreteraren som förlöser honom ur svårmodet och får honom att leva igen. Lottes ungdom verkar för Zweig också bli ett sätt att försöka återuppleva den tid han senare i ”Världen av igår” beskriver som den lyckliga: de fria ungdomsåren, innan krig och förföljelse. I brevet till Joseph Roth är det också tydligt hur Zweigs politiska pessimism och oro för ett andra världskrig spelar in i hans begär för Lotte:”Jag tror på ett kommande krig på det sätt som andra tror på Gud. Men därför lever jag också mer intensivt nu. Jag vill se den här världen en vända till innan den brinner.”Här anas något om hans bevekelsegrunder. Det mörknar över Europa, Zweigs judiska identitet har redan gjort hans författarskap omöjligt inom det språkområde som han räknar som sitt eget. Han har alltid betraktat sig mer som österrikare och europé än judisk, ändå är det som det sistnämnda han nu utestängs från en gemenskap. Och där är hon; den unga, judiska kvinnan som beundrar hans författarskap och nedtecknar hans tankar.Men kanske förhåller det sig på ett liknande sätt för Lotte? Hon har just flytt sitt hemland och blivit avskuren från den framtid som hon trodde sig ha. Nu befinner hon sig plötsligt i ett sammanhang med PEN-konferenser, litterära salonger, fullsatta föreläsningar och researchresor. Precis som hon erbjuder Stefan Zweig en värld när den han haft håller på att gå förlorad erbjuder också han en ny värld då hon har behövt lämna sin.Lottes egen röst är frånvarande i merparten av all efterlämnad dokumentation om och av Stefan Zweig. Ett undantag är den samling brev som skickades från henne och Stefan i exilens Sydamerika. De flesta är skrivna till Lottes bror Manfred och svägerskan Hanna, som stannat kvar i England. Det allra sista brevet från Lotte till Hanna är förmodligen så nära ett självmordsbrev som det går att komma.”När vi nu lämnar såhär är min enda önskan att du tror mig när jag säger att det här är det bästa för Stefan, i det lidande som pågått för honom ända sedan nazismens maktövertagande, och för mig, i min kroniska astma […] Tro mig när jag säger att det här är det bästa för oss.”När brevet poststämplas är parets död redan en världsnyhet. Exhustrun Friderike Zweig har då, med visumhjälp av Stefan, bosatt sig i USA. Ett år efter krigsslutet utkommer hennes självbiografiska bok ”Married to Stefan Zweig”. Hon, som påbörjade en karriär som skribent men övergick till att arbeta som fransklärare för att kunna försörja sig, kan nu äntligen titulera sig författare. Boken är en blandning av saklig biografi över Zweigs författargärning ihop med en personlig berättelse om deras äktenskap. Här tonar Friderike genomgående ner Stefans och Lottes relation och gestaltar den snarare som en ömkan om den unga, astmatiska kvinnan än äkta kärlek från hans sida. Samtidigt är delarna kring Zweigs författarskap mer djupgående än i många andra biografier. Friderike var själv i allra högsta grad delaktig i hans arbete fram tills att Lotte tog över som både sekreterare och fru, och hon hade goda insikter i allt från skrivprocesser och redigeringar till depressioner och tvivel.Om den unga musan Lotte i slutet av Zweigs liv förblir en gåta är Friderike, den bedragna hustrun, den som själv skriver till slut. Det ligger förstås nära till hands att se hur denna kärlekshistoria i Förintelsens skugga slutade där i Petrópolis, med makarna Zweigs självmord. Men man kan också se det som att den fortsätter här: Med att den övergivna musan fattar pennan, med den döde poeten som musa.Elin Grelsson, författare och kritiker.

Opera Box Score
Wicked, the Opera! ft. Aaron Sheehan

Opera Box Score

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2023 73:22


[@ 3 min] It's awards season! Grammy nominations are in; so are the International Opera Awards winners. Find out who's cashing in on the OBS bump this year… Plus, Matt and Ashlee play 'Monday Evening Quarterback' from coast to coast to... well, third coast… [@ 51 min] Friends of the Show Boston Early Music Festival are set to present "The Dragon of Wantley" as their Thanksgiving weekend chamber opera. Their star tenor Aaron Sheehan takes a 'Free Throw' on what it's like to be in one of BEMF's lavish, historically informed productions... [@ 57 min] In the ‘Two Minute Drill'… The Met plans to celebrate Stephen Schwartz. Could a staging of "Wicked" starring Lise Davidsen and Nina Stemme be far away...? GET YOUR VOICE HEARD operaboxscore.com facebook.com/obschi1 @operaboxscore IG operaboxscore

P1 Kultur
På plats i Pajala – sanningen om övergreppen i Tornedalen

P1 Kultur

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2023 54:27


I dag kommer slutbetänkandet från den första svenska sanningskommissionen, om övergrepp mot tornedalingar, kväner och lantalaiset till följd av Sveriges assimileringspolitik. Vad betyder det för kultur och uttryck? P1 Kultur rapporterar direkt. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. VÅR REPORTER HELENE ALM MED GÄSTER UR KULTURLIV OCH HISTORIAUnder en tio timmar lång manifestation, som börjar i Pajala och sedan sprider sig till Dramaten i Stockholm och sedan tillbaka upp till Norrbotten och Pajala, kommer berörda skådespelare och andra kulturpersoner att berätta, sjunga och dikta. Bland många som vi kommer att få höra på plats i Pajala finns Erling Fredriksson, chef för Tornedalsteatern som nu utropar sig till nationalscen, och 21-åriga sångerskan Klara Pasma. Dessutom intervjuar vår reporter Jenny Teleman skådespelaren Lo Kauppi, vars släkt kommer från Tornedalen och som uppträder på manifestationen i Stockholm.VI HAR TRÄFFAT DANSKA LONE SCHERFIG PÅ STOCKHOLMS FILMFESTIVALFrån Pajala flyttar vi oss till Stockholms pågående filmfestival - och Chile. I en liten chilensk gruvstad på 1960-talet utspelar sig nämligen danska regissören Lone Scherfigs film ”Filmberättarskan”, som handlar om en kvinna med ett ovanligt yrke, med den politiska turbulensen som bakgrund. P1 Kulturs Lisa Bergström har träffat henne för en intervju.NU KOMMER EN UKRAINSK KLASSIKER - SOM FÖR 30 ÅR SEDAN FÖRUTSÅG KRIGETFörfattaren Jurij Andruchovytj skrev 1993 boken ”Moskoviaden” - som i dagarna utkommer i svensk översättning. Den var på många sätt profetisk. Vår reporter Fredrik Wadström, även programledare för Radiokorrespondenterna Ryssland, har läst den.ESSÄN: OM FÖRFATTAREN MAJKEN JOHANSSONS LIVSVIKTIGA BOKSTAV”Finns S, så finns Gud. Finns Gud, så finns S.” skriver poeten och frälsningssoldaten Majken Johansson i en anteckning. Man kan läsa in mycket i denna konsonant som svävar genom hennes diktning; Sorg, Saknad, Suktan. Där finns även en människa på samma bokstav med ett sorgligt öde. Litteraturvetaren Paul Tenngart tränger in i världen bakom s:et. I inslaget hörs en snutt av låten Après toi, Eurovision-vinnaren 1972, som framförs av Vicky Leandros. Producent för OBS är Olof Åkerlund vid Sveriges Radio i Malmö.Programledare: Lisa BergströmProducent: Mattias Berg

OBS
För Majken Johansson var Solveig Borg och Gud svåra att skilja åt

OBS

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2023 10:00


Hon hör till den svenska litteraturhistorien, men länge dolde sig Majken Johanssons stora kärlek bakom bokstaven S. Paul Tenngart berättar om kvinnan som poeten sörjde och skrev dikter om i decennier. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. ESSÄ: Detta är en text där skribenten reflekterar över ett ämne eller ett verk. Åsikter som uttrycks är skribentens egna.Efter att alla hennes efterlämnade papper donerades till Lunds universitetsbibliotek vet vi det mesta om poeten och frälsningssoldaten Majken Johansson, till exempel att hon från mitten av femtiotalet ända fram till sin död 1993 hela tiden tänkte på, sörjde och skrev dikter om sin stora kärlek Solveig Borg, hon som tog livet av sig den 19 augusti 1956.I dikten ”Après toi”, som hämtar sin titel från Vicky Leandros Eurovisionvinnare från 1972, skriver hon till exempel om ”den dagligen vaknande smärtan // i tomrummet // efter dej”. I dikt efter dikt finns den, sorgen, och den bidrar starkt till Johanssons poetiska idiolekt – de drastiska växlingarna mellan djupaste förtvivlan och språklig lekfullhet.Men vad vet vi om Solveig Borg? Och vad har vi rätt att ta reda på?Majken Johansson dolde Solveigs identitet hela livet. Inte för sina allra närmaste men för den svenska offentligheten. I de publicerade dikterna kallas hon bara ”S” och nämns uteslutande med könsneutrala pronomen. I de många intervjuer som Majken gjorde i dagspress och veckopress på 1960-, 1970- och 1980-talen framställs Solveig antingen som en nära vän, eller så görs hon om till en manlig partner.Dels vill Majken Johansson inte smutskasta Solveigs minne hos de bekanta och de släktingar som inte hade accepterat deras kärlek. Dels vill hon skydda sitt eget rykte i den svenska offentligheten och, förstås, inom Frälsningsarmén. Hon är ju en av de mest kända poeterna i samtidslitteraturen – och hon är dessutom Frälsningsarméns viktigaste språkrör i den svenska majoritetskulturen. Hon har ett uppdrag från Gud att utföra. Det får inte förstöras.Men hon tänker också på sina dikter. Om det blir känt att de gestaltar kärleken mellan två kvinnor så upphör de att vara kärleksdikter och blir homosexdikter. Och det är de inte tänkta att vara. Det är de inte.Men det finns en öppning, och det är tidens gång. De ägodelar som betydde allra mest för Majken Johansson samlade hon i en chokladask från Fazer. Där la hon fotografierna av Solveig och deras kärleksbrev. Asken förseglades i ett igenklistrat A4-kuvert och placerades i det arkiv som sedan donerades till framtida forskning. På kuvertet finns instruktionen: ”bör inte utlämnas till läsning och publicering förrän tidigast år 2015!”Nu är vi på andra sidan den där historiska gränsen. Nu är tiden mogen för oss att lära känna Solveig. Ja, det är kanske rentav vår plikt att berätta om de villkor som hon levde under på 1950-talet så att vi kan hindra att begränsningarna, stigmatiseringen och skammen återkommer. Den bedömningen gjorde åtminstone Majken Johansson innan hon dog.När hon träffade Majken var Solveig Borg en ensamstående 47-årig yrkeskvinna, direktör för företaget AB Specialpapper. Hon var född och uppvuxen i Finland, och hade etablerat sig i Stockholm efter kriget. Hon reste mycket i arbetet – både i Sverige och i Europa. På vintrarna älskade hon att åka skidor i Alperna.Måndagen den 15 augusti 1955 får hon syn på en kontaktannons i Dagens Nyheter. ”Ung, kvinnl. akademiker söker väninna”, står det. ”Gärna 30–40 år. Övervägande intellekt. o. konstnärliga intr.” Solveig låter det gå en dag, sen svarar hon den anonyma annonsören: ”Just nu står jag i beråd att åka till London, men ville med dessa nedkastade rader nå Er så att om Ni har intresse ville ta kontakt med mig då jag återkommer kring den 4 sept. Med hälsning / fru S. Borg.”Visst tar Majken kontakt, och snart blir de ett par. I januari flyttar den 25-åriga poeten hem till den 47-åriga direktören. I efterhand ska Majken betrakta de där månaderna som den enda riktigt meningsfulla perioden i ett liv av brist och saknad.Men det knappa år de får tillsammans är långt ifrån problemfritt. Solveig kommer från en högborgerlig finlandssvensk släkt, och hennes inkomster är robusta. Majken själv är en arbetarflicka från Möllevången i Malmö som vuxit upp i ett fosterhem. Visst, hon betraktas som en lovande poet, men diktsamlingar blir man inte fet av. Ibland känner Solveig det som om hon köper den fattiga Majkens gunst. Betalar för hennes unga kropp.Båda bär på tuffa personliga trauman. Majken lämnades som spädbarn bort av sin biologiska mamma, och hon blev mycket illa behandlad i fosterhemmet. Två gånger har hon försökt ta livet av sig. Solveig lider av ständiga mardrömmar efter sin tid som sjuksköterska under finska vinterkriget. I sin dagbok beskriver Majken dem som två sjuka som inte förmår ge varandra stöd.Det största problemet är ändå att de har så olika inställningar till sin gemensamma kärlek. Majken tycker inte att de behöver smussla med den. Men Solveig har alltför mycket att förlora. Om det kom ut att hon levde ihop med en kvinna på det sättet skulle hon riskera allt annat: släkten, firman, anseendet.Precis ett år efter det att Solveig fick syn på Majkens kontaktannons kommer uppgörelsen. Solveig vill avsluta förhållandet. De bråkar och Majken råkar drämma till Solveig. Arg och ledsen störtar Solveig ut från lägenheten och tar bilen till sitt sommarställe några mil norr om Stockholm. Där skjuter hon sig i huvudet.Solveig är borta. Förlorad. Och Majken kan inte ens visa sig på begravningen.Det som sedan händer ska komma att anta mytologiska dimensioner för Majken Johansson. Under flera decennier ska hon i anteckning efter anteckning förklara för sig själv hur hon lyckades ta sig ur det totala mörkret. Först försöker hon nå Solveigs själ via spiritistiska seanser. Dessa försök nämner hon inte med ett ord i tryckta texter eller offentliga samtal. Sedan testar hon olika kristna samfund. Det är hon också ganska tyst om i efterhand. Men resten av berättelsen sprider hon så ofta hon kan: till slut finner hon Frälsningsarméns Gud. Via botbänkens hallelujah-rop når hon sin älskade. S och Gud blir nästan samma sak.Resten av sitt liv längtar Majken. Diktsamlingarna bär vittnesmål om denna långvariga passiva kamp. Det händer att Solveig uppenbarar sig, påminner om vad som väntar på andra sidan. ”I Allhelgonatid / kom min S”, avslöjar hon i en dikt. I en annan skriver hon: ”Själva julaftonsnatten / återkom du. Kyssande / mitt vänstra bröst.”Så blir Majken Johanssons livs kärlek en del av den svenska kulturhistorien. Och sedan 2015 är alltså S inte längre en gåta, utan Solveig kan träda fram som den hon är.Paul Tenngart är litteraturvetare. 2016 gav han ut boken ”Livsvittnet Majken Johansson”. Musiken som hörs i slutet är just den låt som omnämns i essän: Vicky Leandros Eurovision-vinnare ”Après toi” från 1972.

Panowie dogadamy się
063 JAKIE SĄ WYZWANIA MĘŻCZYZN? (Gość Marcin Wąsik)

Panowie dogadamy się

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2023 74:46


Rozmowa z moim gościem Marcinem Wąsikiem. Marcin jest autorem książki "Zintegrowana Męskość". Od kilkunastu lat oprócz biznesu intensywnie zajmuje się pracą z męskością i relacjami partnerskimi. Temat ten obok duchowości jest jego pasją, ma zamiar poświęcić jej najbliższe lata. Jego wielkimi mentorami są David Deida, DR. Robert Glover. Link do strony Marcina: https://marcinwasik.pl Spis treści: 0:00 Wstęp 2:10 Czym się zajmuje Marcin 7:15 Co mi dał system Roberta Glovera 9:16 Męskie Grupy Wsparcia 12:45 o czym rozmawiacie? 16:45 Wyzwania mężczyzn 19:45 Efekty spotkań męskiego wsparcia 21:10 Jak mężczyzna powinien okazywać słabość 24:50 Obsługiwanie emocji kobiety 31:00 Mężczyźni w intelekcie to tryb awaryjny 38:27 Relacje z innymi ludźmi 46:18 Instagramowy Świat 51:38 Młodzi mężczyźni 53:16 Decyzyjność mężczyzn 57:12 Dwa typy mężczyzn 1:05:20 Twórczość Marcina IG PDS -   / panowiedogadamysie   Możesz Nas znaleźć również na TikToku: panowiedogadamysie

Ask Noah Show
Ask Noah Show | Network IP Migration

Ask Noah Show

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2023 53:51


This week Noah and Steve talk about migrating subnets from a smaller one, to a larger one. What things should you think about, how should you approach the problem, and tools should you know about. -- During The Show -- 01:43 MARS/MS-DMT On Linux? - Klaus Never used MARS 02:57 Using Chrome Extension of IE requirements - Glenn ANS 361 ~25:14 Min (https://podcast.asknoahshow.com/361) IE Tab Extension (https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ie-tab/hehijbfgiekmjfkfjpbkbammjbdenadd) Pull things to modern Frigate (https://frigate.video/) 06:18 Veracrypt, bash and ACLs? - ST Bash history program Add the following to your ~/.bashrc ``` Avoid duplicates HISTCONTROL=ignoredups:erasedups When the shell exits, append to the history file instead of overwriting it shopt -s histappend After each command, append to the history file and reread it PROMPTCOMMAND="${PROMPTCOMMAND:+$PROMPT_COMMAND$'n'}histor ``` Original Stack Exchange Post (https://unix.stackexchange.com/questions/1288/preserve-bash-history-in-multiple-terminal-windows) Works on all distros fallocate -l 16GB hidden.img add file system encrypt with LUKS KDE Vaults CryFS EncFS gocrypfs SELinux Ask AI hallucinates alot gets you a jumping off point Persons IT SELinux Link (https://www.pearsonitcertification.com/articles/article.aspx?p=2990397&seqNum=2) fapolicyd (https://github.com/linux-application-whitelisting/fapolicyd) Mandatory Access Control 20:50 News Wire Blender 4.0 - Blender (https://wiki.blender.org/wiki/Reference/Release_Notes/4.0) OBS 30.00 - Phoronix (https://www.phoronix.com/news/OBS-Studio-30-Released) Bazzite 2.0 - Gaming On Linux (https://www.gamingonlinux.com/2023/11/steamos-like-linux-package-bazzite-20-is-out-now-for-steam-deck-and-desktop/) Fedora 39 - Fedora (https://docs.fedoraproject.org/en-US/releases/f39/) Alma Linux 9.3 - 9 to 5 Linux (https://9to5linux.com/almalinux-os-9-3-is-here-as-a-free-red-hat-enterprise-linux-alternative) CBL Mariner Update - Phoronix (https://www.phoronix.com/news/CBL-Mariner-2.0-November-2023) CIQ & CentOS Migration - Inside HPC (https://insidehpc.com/2023/11/ciq-announces-rocky-linux-solutions-for-centos-migration-on-google-cloud/) Linux-Based Amazon OS - OMG Ubuntu (https://www.omgubuntu.co.uk/2023/11/amazon-vega-linux-based-os) ADA Joins JDF - Tech Crunch (https://techcrunch.com/2023/11/08/google-app-defense-alliance-linux-foundation-meta-microsoft/) New Attack Steals SSH Keys - ARS Technica (https://arstechnica.com/security/2023/11/hackers-can-steal-ssh-cryptographic-keys-in-new-cutting-edge-attack/) Malware in Trojanized Code Libraries - ARS Technica (https://arstechnica.com/security/2023/11/developers-targeted-with-malware-that-monitors-their-every-move/) BiBi Wiper - Bleeping Computer (https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/israel-warns-of-bibi-wiper-attacks-targeting-linux-and-windows/) Silo AI Unveils Poro - Venture Beat (https://venturebeat.com/ai/silo-ai-unveils-poro-a-new-open-source-language-model-for-europe/) 23:10 Unexpected Keyboard Git Hub (https://github.com/Julow/Unexpected-Keyboard) Fdroid (https://f-droid.org/packages/juloo.keyboard2/) Type characters and numbers by swiping to the corners Arrow Keys Originally developed for Termux No Ads, No Internet connection No voice or swipe input Hacker Keyboard (FDroid) (https://f-droid.org/en/packages/org.pocketworkstation.pckeyboard/) 29:47 Network Migration IOT is on it's own VLan Created network migration plan map out static IPs hidden gotchas (ie. static routes) hardware access/configuration/management set expectations set time window & stick to it roll back plan test cases, have multiple be prepared for after math over communication firewall rules Monitoring solutions? NAT reflection Problems PFSense stopped handling default routes software with hard coded IPs access control and security, static IPs set on device other devices, static IPs set on the router Prioritizing services -- The Extra Credit Section -- For links to the articles and material referenced in this week's episode check out this week's page from our podcast dashboard! This Episode's Podcast Dashboard (http://podcast.asknoahshow.com/363) Phone Systems for Ask Noah provided by Voxtelesys (http://www.voxtelesys.com/asknoah) Join us in our dedicated chatroom #GeekLab:linuxdelta.com on Matrix (https://element.linuxdelta.com/#/room/#geeklab:linuxdelta.com) -- Stay In Touch -- Find all the resources for this show on the Ask Noah Dashboard Ask Noah Dashboard (http://www.asknoahshow.com) Need more help than a radio show can offer? Altispeed provides commercial IT services and they're excited to offer you a great deal for listening to the Ask Noah Show. Call today and ask about the discount for listeners of the Ask Noah Show! Altispeed Technologies (http://www.altispeed.com/) Contact Noah live [at] asknoahshow.com -- Twitter -- Noah - Kernellinux (https://twitter.com/kernellinux) Ask Noah Show (https://twitter.com/asknoahshow) Altispeed Technologies (https://twitter.com/altispeed)

Sista Måltiden
#202 - Den juholtska fritidsgården (Gäst: Håkan Juholt)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2023 63:53


Håkan Juholt gästar gänget.Silldiplomati av Håkan Juholt finns att köpa på Bokus och hos andra bokhandlare.OBS. Det här är inte hela avsnittet. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sista Måltiden
#201 - Nilsson & Arafat (Gäst: Bengt G Nilsson)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2023 61:32


Bengt G Nilsson är journalist, författare, filmare och socialantropolog. Han har arbetat på TT, DN och public service som utrikesreporter och tillbringat större delen av sitt liv i Mellanöstern och Afrika.OBS. Det här är inte hela avsnittet. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Entrez dans l'Histoire
LA QUOTIDIENNE - Pourquoi Luther s'est-il attiré les foudres de L'Église de Rome ?

Entrez dans l'Histoire

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2023 3:24


Le 10 novembre est l'anniversaire de Luther, un des plus grands théologiens de tous les temps et un sacré Révolutionnaire. Obsédé par la quête du paradis, Luther n'hésite pas à entrer en conflit avec sa hiérarchie mais surtout avec L'Église de Rome. Cette dernière offrait aux catholiques de l'époque la possibilité de racheter ses péchés avec de l'argent... Du lundi au vendredi, Lorànt Deutsch vous donne rendez-vous dans la matinale de RTL. Chaque jour, l'animateur de "Entrez dans l'histoire" revient sur ces grands moments qui ont façonné notre pays.

Opera Box Score
The Shirley Verrett Biopic Starring Angela Bassett! ft. Lise Davidsen

Opera Box Score

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2023 63:41


[@ 5 min] As Lidiya Yankovskaya prepares to step down as Music Director of Chicago Opera Theater, we take a look at some of the ‘Swings and Misses' of her tenure, including being a three-time Inside the Huddle guest on the OBS... [@ 30 min] And then… PJ files a report on “X: The Life and Times of Malcolm X” from the Met, and Lise Davidsen joins us for a ‘Free Throw' on Janacek's "Jenůfa"… [@ 42 min] Plus, in the ‘Two Minute Drill'… France is the big winner in the World Cup of Opera, and an opera company in Dallas attempts to show the relationship between opera and sports... GET YOUR VOICE HEARD operaboxscore.com facebook.com/obschi1 @operaboxscore IG operaboxscore

Financial Residency
Grand Rounds - Locums and Independent Contracting with Dr. Holly Shen

Financial Residency

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2023 29:03


This episode is sponsored by Eckard Enterprises. To start empowering your financial future, visit www.EckardEnterprises.com Dr. Holly Shen is an OB/GYN doc who decided to forego being employed and venture out as an independent contractor. She started a group on Facebook to help educate and empower other OB docs who are thinking of doing the same. She shares her experiences in finding jobs, securing insurance (both malpractice and health), getting licensed in multiple states, transferring DEA licenses, and talking with other doctors to ensure she is always paid fair market value when taking a new job. This episode is not just limited to OBs who are thinking of making the switch. 

Nova Acrópole Palestras Filosóficas
#601 - “A Gente Por Dentro” -Live completa com Thais Itaqui e Lúcia Helena Galvão

Nova Acrópole Palestras Filosóficas

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2023 59:39


repost @thaitaqui (Thais Itaqui,Jornalista de alma. Ativista em saúde emocional e Sustentabilidade Humana. Criadora do A Gente Por Dentro. Trajetória Globo- Profissão Repórter/Gnews. youtu.be/m83ePmJkoZ8) Live completa com a filósofa e professora Lucia Helena Galvão ✨✨✨ "Estou profundamente feliz com tanto ensinamento em somente 1 hora. Obrigada mais uma vez @profluciahelenagalvao , pela sua disponibilidade e generosidade imensas em contribuir e democratizar o ensino da filosofia. Seu amor pela sabedoria nos alcança profundamente e nos faz amá-la também. OBS.: livros comentados na live: “Caibalion: A viagem da vida” (esse para crianças) O outro “Para entender o Caibalion”, ambos de autoria da professora Lúcia Helena Galvão"

Sista Måltiden
#200 - Gaza Pride (Guest: Andrew Doyle/Titania McGrath)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2023 62:07


Andrew Doyle is a playwright, journalist, author and political satirist from Northern Ireland, who has created the character Titania McGrath and written for the fictional character Jonathan Pie. He joined GB News in 2021 and hosts the weekly show Free Speech Nation. Three of his most recent books are fresh off the press with Swedish translations.Andrew Doyles böcker De nya puritanerna, Yttrandefriheten och Woke finns att köpa i den svenska bokhandeln.OBS. Hela avsnittet är 2 tim 29 min långt. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Prædikener fra Aarhus Valgmenighed
Bevidst om de onde, betaget af Gud

Prædikener fra Aarhus Valgmenighed

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2023 23:42


Bevidst om de onde, betaget af Gud   Prædiken af David Viftrup Tekstlæsning: Eferserbrevet 6, 10-18   OBS. Computeren lavede en fejl i midten af prædiken. Så der er et hul i lyden.

onde obs computeren
Sista Måltiden
#199 - Guden Gullbert (Gäst: David Thurfjell)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2023 62:13


Gänget gästas av David Thurfjell som är religionshistoriker och professor i religionsvetenskap vid Södertörns högskola i Stockholm. Hans forskning handlar om islam, kristendom och sekularisering i dagens Sverige. Hans senaste bok En lockton i ödemarken utforskar gränsen mellan religiösa och sekulära uttryck med nedslag i myter, riter och maktstrategier i världens olika religiösa traditioner.En lockton i ödemarken finns hos Bokus och andra bokhandlare.OBS. Hela avsnittet är 2 tim 33 min. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Animation Industry Podcast
Episode 230: How Jim Capobianco Wrote Directed & Funded The Inventor - His Stop Motion Feature

Animation Industry Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2023 63:46


Support this podcast on Patreon: www.patreon.com/theAIP This chat features Jim Capobianco, known best for storyboarding on movies like The Lion King, Finding Nemo, and Up, as well as his writing credits on Ratatouille, and The Inventor. This chat focuses mainly on The Inventor, which Capobianco wrote, and directed from a 2D short film into a stop motion feature - over the course of 14 years. He also shares how hard it was to pitch, what it took to get it funded, and the full experience of what it was like producing the feature in such a short amount of time. Tune in to Ibele and Capobianco to hear: *How Capobianco managed to get over ten million in funding *Why Capobianco decided to produce the film in stop motion when he had no experience in it *What sacrifices Capobianco had to make while filming The Inventor ~[SPONSORED MESSAGE]~ This episode is sponsored by HUE. Makers of colorful, Plug & Play cameras for learning, work and play. Originally designed for teachers, HUE cameras can also be used for creative activities such as capturing hand-drawn pencil tests and shooting behind-the-scenes footage, time-lapse videos and stop motion animation. The cameras have flexible, posable necks, manual focus controls and they are compatible with Dragonframe, OBS, Twitch, Zoom and many other camera apps. Visit huehd.com to learn more and follow @HUEcameras on social media for news, fun and giveaways. Get 10% off any Hue product from www.huehd.com with code: 10TERRYAIP ~~ Social Links: *Check out Capobianco's website: https://www.jimcapobianco.com/bio-capobianco *Check out the film's website: https://www.theinventorfilm.com/ *Watch the trailer on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k95b1s6XoE&ab_channel=BlueFoxEntertainment *Check out Aerial Contrivance for more resources: https://www.aerialcontrivance.com/

On The Whorizon
Ep 58: Where To Sell Used Panties, Clips4Sale, OBS Streaming, Photo Editing and More!

On The Whorizon

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2023 41:12


Welcome back to another episode of On The Whorizon! This episode is a recording of a live audience Q&A that took place on August 29th, 2023, in a Twitter Space hosted by Sex Work CEO founder Melrose Michaels.  We discussed a wide range of topics, including how to sell used panties and other items, Clips4Sale, photo editing, 2257 compliance, OBS streaming, work/life balance, and much more! Like, subscribe, and share this episode with fellow creators looking to navigate the complexities of adult content creation and platform growth. Together, we'll explore the limitless possibilities on the "whorizon"!  Premiere podcast sponsor: → AssemblyFour: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://assemblyfour.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tired of coming up with content ideas and captions? The SWCEO Daily Inspo Bot sends you one daily trending idea and professionally written caption for feed, PPV, & clip store, ALL with calls to action to unlock, tip, etc. to increase sales! These get sent to you around 10 am CST on Telegram DAILY. The bot costs less than .50 cents a day! Grab your free 3-day trial here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://t.me/NSFWinspo_bot⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ On The Whorizon is a podcast about what's on the whorizon for sex workers, and how to navigate it. We want to elevate sex worker stories and experiences, as well as provide tangible takeaways to approach online sex work as a business model, should listeners choose to envision it that way. S O C I A L    M E D I A → MelRose's  website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠MelRoseMichaels.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → MelRose's Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠MelRoseMichaels⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → MelRose's Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@MelRoseMichaels⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → MelRose's Snapchat: MelRoseMichael → MelRose's TikTok: @MelRose_Michaels → SexWorkCEO's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → SexWorkCEO's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → SexWorkCEO's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → SexWorkCEO's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ S E X   W O R K   C E O Sex Work CEO is an educational platform where online adult creators can find courses, resources, informational blogs, and industry consulting work through our Influencer Advocacy program. Whorizon is a SexWorkCEO podcast focused on strengthening awareness around the political, societal, and personal impacts on sex work as an industry as well as providing educational resources to help online adult creators grow their businesses. It is our hope that a better informed SW community can better unite and advocate for itself where and when it matters. See more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SexWorkCEO.com.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ C R E D I T S → Video and Photography By MelRose Michaels → Production By Kevin Byrnes https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~01771f13585da1ce42 → Music By: Love by LiQWYD https://soundcloud.com/liqwydCreative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0 Free Download / Stream: https://bit.ly/3AmrvcXMusic promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/Q6toqxlDCR --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whorizon/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whorizon/support

Level BackUp
E437 – Spider-Man 2, Sonic Superstars, Lords of the Fallen, Alan Wake 2, House Usher

Level BackUp

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2023 85:03


Nick er kanskje Norges største Spider-Man-entusiast – hva synes han om Insomniac-spillet Spider-Man 2? Og hva synes Rune? Svaret får du i ukens episode!Karl har kommet i gang med Lords of the Fallen, et spill både Rune og Svenz har snakket veldig varmt om. Er Karl enig? Og ikke minst: hva synes han om Sonic Superstars?Vi går også gjennom høydepunkter fra innsamlingsaksjonen vi gjorde for Redd barna og TV-aksjonen i helgen, hvor Frida blant annet fikk dykket dypt ned i det nydelige Planet of Lana.Og ellers i podcasten er vi innom alt fra TV-serien The Fall of the House Usher til Microsofts oppkjøp av Activision Blizzard, Alan Wake 2-forberedelser i Fortnite og… kremt… Taylor Swift.God helg!OBS! Du kan fortsatt støtte årets TV-aksjon via Level Ups innsamlingsaksjon, gå inn på http://spleis.no/gamingaksjonen og gi ditt bidrag der.

Hälsosnack med Lotta och Victoria
269 Forskningsspaning med Peter Martin - Nya spännande upptäckter om glycin och NAC!

Hälsosnack med Lotta och Victoria

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2023 64:59


I det här avsnittet forskningsspanar vi tillsammans med Peter Martin. Peter är läkaren och medicine doktorn som lämnade läkemedelsforskningen och startade Funmed, en läkarklinikkedja som arbetar med precisionshälsa på funktionsmedicinsk grund. Idag pratar vi om en ny stor studie som heter Supplementing Glycine and N-Acetylcysteine (GlyNAC) in Older Adults Improves Glutathione Deficiency, Oxidative Stress, Mitochondrial Dysfunction, Inflammation, Physical Function, and Aging Hallmarks: A Randomized Clinical Trial.Glycin och Cystein är två viktiga aminosyror och den här studien visar vilka fördelar man kan få på hälsan hos äldre personer som tar tillskott av glycin och N-acetylcystein (NAC). Peter förklarar hur själva studien är upplagd och genomförd samt går igenom de spännande resultaten. Vi pratar också om vikten av kollagen i kosten och hur vi under evolutionen klarat oss utan några som helst tillskott. Det här är verkligen superspännande, så precis som titeln antyder så har det kopplingar till allt från oxidativ stress, mitokondriefunktion, inflammation till vår fysiska kroppsfunktion och åldrande. För alla som vill leva länge och bibehålla funktioner som att kunna resa sig från en stol, bära sina matkassar eller gå upp för en trappa, även upp i hög ålder, verkar det finnas mycket att hämta i just glycin och NAC.OBS! Doserna av glycin och NAC som de använde i studien är rejält höga och deltagarna screenas både före och under studien av medicinsk kunnig personal. Vi rekommenderar inte att du tar dessa höga doser av glycin eller NAC. Mer information om studien hittar du i länken nedan.Länk till studien hittar du här:https://academic.oup.com/biomedgerontology/article/78/1/75/6668639Här är mer information om Peter Martin och Funmed: https://www.funmed.se Vårt avsnitt om anti-aging med läkaren Suzana Maltar Zoric hittar du här: https://shows.acast.com/halsosnack/episodes/254-suzana-maltar-zoric-longevityPeters avsnitt om oxalater hittar du här: https://shows.acast.com/halsosnack/episodes/157petermartin-varfordingronasmoothieintearsanyttigsommantrott- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

acast inflammation idag obs nac uppt oxidative stress peter martin mitochondrial dysfunction physical function glycin cystein
Applelianos
Especial: Mi Experiencia con el MacBook Air 15" M2

Applelianos

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2023 280:40


¡Bienvenidos al episodio especial de nuestro podcast! En este episodio, desglosaremos mi experiencia con el MacBook Air 15" M2, hablaremos sobre los puntos clave que me han impactado, y debatiremos sobre los aspectos que amamos y los que podrían mejorar. //Puntos de Discusión: Primeras Sensaciones: Compartiré mis impresiones iniciales al desempaquetar y encender este dispositivo por primera vez. ¿Marcas? ¿Huellas?: Analizaremos la resistencia del MacBook Air a las huellas y marcas. Prueba en Directo con OBS: Pondremos a prueba la capacidad del MacBook Air para manejar la transmisión en vivo con OBS. Teclado: Comentaremos sobre la funcionalidad y la comodidad del teclado. Pantalla 60hz: Discutiremos sobre la experiencia de visualización en una pantalla de 60hz. Uso Día a Día: Relataré mi experiencia diaria con este dispositivo, desde tareas profesionales hasta uso personal. Tiempo de Batería: Evaluaremos la duración de la batería durante el uso intensivo y el uso normal. Velocidad de Edición: Verificaremos qué tan rápido puede manejar el MacBook Air las tareas de edición. GeekBench Test: Compartiremos los resultados de las pruebas de rendimiento de GeekBench. Sonido: Hablaremos sobre la calidad del sonido producido por los altavoces del MacBook Air. Pantalla: Discutiremos la calidad de la pantalla, la resolución y la experiencia visual. Dimensiones/Uso Resolución: Explicaremos sobre la portabilidad, el tamaño físico y como afecta la resolución al uso diario. Muesca (Notch): Hablaremos sobre el controvertido notch, su utilidad y su impacto en la experiencia de usuario. Touch (Respuesta y Pass): Comentaremos acerca de la funcionalidad touch, su respuesta y la seguridad con Touch ID. Peso y Portabilidad: Compartiremos nuestros pensamientos sobre el peso del dispositivo y su portabilidad. La Magia Negra de la Batería: Discutiremos la impresionante duración de la batería y si nos encontramos constantemente buscando un enchufe. Puntos Positivos (Pantalla y Batería): Destacaremos los puntos fuertes del MacBook Air, en particular la pantalla y la batería. Puntos Negativos (Notch y Huellas): Identificaremos los puntos débiles, incluyendo el notch y la tendencia a las marcas de huellas. Temperatura (Bajo Cero): Hablaremos sobre el rendimiento del MacBook Air en temperaturas frías. ¿Me Arrepiento de Su Compra?: Reflexionaré si el MacBook Air ha valido la inversión y si he tardado demasiado en comprarlo. Mi Uso: Detallaré cómo uso el MacBook Air en mi vida diaria y cómo se adapta a mis necesidades. Puertos (Algo Corto): Comentaremos sobre la cantidad y utilidad de los puertos disponibles en el MacBook Air. ¡No te pierdas este episodio lleno de información útil, opiniones honestas y debates apasionantes sobre el MacBook Air 15" M2! Te esperamos en este viaje tecnológico para ayudarte a entender mejor si este es el dispositivo que necesitas en tu vida. //Enlaces https://www.amazon.es/gp/product/B0B49TLF2Z/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_image?ie=UTF8&psc=1 https://www.amazon.es/gp/product/B07Y42ZCMR/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 https://www.amazon.es/gp/product/B0B8X6H96S/ref=ppx_od_dt_b_asin_title_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE3XHvZmydk&ab_channel=HiClavero https://topnotch.app https://docs.google.com/document/d/1My1zjgWRkZskuttaX6hRXQtgpWT3giA0LhE3mONYEuk/edit?usp=sharing //Donde encontrarnos Canal Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/ApplelianosApplelianos/featured Grupo Telegram (enlace de invitación) https://t.me/+U9If86lsuY00MGU0 Correo electrónico applelianos@gmail.com Canal Telegram Episodios https://t.me/ApplelianosFLAC Mi Shop Amazon https://amzn.to/30sYcbB Twitter https://twitter.com/ApplelianosPod ( (https://twitter.com/ApplelianosPod)https://twitter.com/ApplelianosPod )  Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/applelianos-podcast/id993909563 Ivoox https://www.ivoox.com/podcast-applelianos-podcast_sq_f1170563_1.html ( (https://www.ivoox.com/podcast-applelianos-podcast_sq_f1170563_1.html) https://www.ivoox.com/podcast-applelianos-podcast_sq_f1170563_1.html ) Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/2P1alAORWd9CaW7Fws2Fyd?si=6Lj9RFMyTlK8VFwr9LgoOw

#PTonICE Daily Show
Episode 1577 - Valsalva: what does it even mean?

#PTonICE Daily Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2023 13:04


Dr. Rachel Moore // #ICEPelvic // www.ptonice.com  In today's episode of the PT on ICE Daily Show, #ICEPelvic faculty member Rachel Moore takes a deep dive into the Valsalva Maneuver from 3 different lenses: the scholarly research, the pregnancy & postpartum patient, and the strength & conditioning world. Take a listen to learn how to better serve this population of patients & athletes. If you're looking to learn more about our live pregnancy and postpartum physical therapy courses or our online physical therapy courses, check our entire list of continuing education courses for physical therapy including our physical therapy certifications by checking out our website. Don't forget about all of our FREE eBooks, prebuilt workshops, free CEUs, and other physical therapy continuing education on our Resources tab. Are you looking for more information on how to keep lifting weights while pregnant? Check out the ICE Pelvic bi-weekly newsletter! EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION00:00 - RACHEL MOORE Good morning PT on ice daily show. My name is dr. Rachel Moore. I am here with Representing the ice pelvic division. I'm on faculty with ice pelvic division. Whoo. Sorry. I need to drink my coffee um i just got back in last night super late night flying from a course this weekend our pelvic live course in um wisconsin it was so much fun we got to see some leaves change which is exciting for me because in houston we don't really have that happen um so really awesome super great weekend awesome and engaged group that we had. If you are looking to join us on the road to catch our live course, our live pelvic course, there are still so many opportunities this year. In that course, we are doing so many things. We are talking about pelvic floor considerations. We're talking about the internal assessment and actually going over and practicing it on your back and in standing. We're talking about pelvic girdle pain which is such a huge topic in the pregnancy and postpartum and just pelvic world in general and then day two we're diving into the actual fitness side of things where we're doing squats and we're learning how to brace and we're using weightlifting belts and we're getting up on the rig and doing gymnastics moves it is a blast every time I come home from a course I'm hyped and there are four more chances of in 2023 to catch this course on the road. So October 21st, we've got a course in Corvallis, Oregon. November 4th, we've got one coming up in Bozeman, Montana. November 18th, we've got one coming up in Bear, Delaware. And then December 2nd, we've got one in Nova Scotia, Canada. So tons of opportunities to catch this course live on the road. Our online course will pick up again in January. So if you're interested in joining us in the ice pelvic division, that's what we got coming up. 02:08 - THE HISTORY OF VALSALVA This morning we are here to talk about Valsalva. So the word Valsalva is kind of a term that nobody really knows what it means or everybody thinks they know what it means and they all have their own separate camps of what it could mean because it's described so many different ways in the literature. So what we're going to do this morning is clarify what the different definitions of this one word are, talk about the history of it a little bit more, where this term really even came from in the first place. So this topic is really near and dear to my heart. Recently, Christina Prevett and I recently just wrote a clinical commentary on Valsalva and on the nuances of Valsalva. and how as clinicians we can take this term and how we need to take this term and understand the lens, especially when we're looking at research, but when we're talking to patients about what this term even means and what we're actually looking for in our strength training fitness world when we say the word Valsalva. So let's kick it off with the history of Valsalva. The term Valsalva is actually named after a physician from the 18th century. So he was an otolaryngologist. Anyway, he worked in ears and throat, ear, nose and throat doctor. And he created this maneuver essentially as a way to push infection out of the ears. So, the maneuver that Dr. Valsalva described actually doesn't even look like the Valsalva that a lot of people talk about today. His maneuver was plugging your nose and blowing out, but not against a closed glottis. And when he created this maneuver, the purpose of it was to flush infection out of the ear by having that tympanic membrane push outwards to, in theory, push pus out of the ear. That is where this term was created. So when we look at Valsalva in the research lens, when we talk about diving into the specifics of research on this topic, if we're looking in the ENT world, autolaryngological world, we're thinking about this maneuver as a plugged nose, closed glottis, now push out in order to push that tympanic membrane out. When we're looking at this word in the urogynecologic world, it has a very different emphasis or purpose. So when we think about pelvic organ prolapse and the diagnosis of pelvic organ prolapse, that's where we see the Valsalva, quote unquote, being useful, I would say. So the Valsalva in a urogynecologic world is an intentional bear down and strain with a closed glottis. in order to measure the descent of the pelvic organs, particularly during that POPQ or that assessment for pelvic organ prolapse. So on the ENT side, we have the focus of plugging nose, blowing out, pushing tympanic membranes out. In the urogynecologic world, we've got this strain down through the pelvic floor in order to descend the pelvic organs and measure what that descent is. 06:04 - VALSALVA IN STRENGTH TRAINING In the strength and conditioning world, the term Valsalva means something completely different. In the strength and conditioning world, the Valsalva is a maneuver that is advantageous, particularly if you're a competing athlete in the strength training world, where we need a little bit extra spinal stiffness in order to hit a lift to PR. so in the strength training world this is an inhale into the belly and then a brace of those core muscles that anterior abdominal wall and all of those muscles within the core in general in order to increase that intra-abdominal pressure and spinal stiffness to be able to lift heavier. So when we do the Valsalva, we have a 10% increase in that spinal stiffness and that carries over or translates into pounds on the barbell. So when we're again thinking about our competitive athletes who are maybe trying to like edge somebody out, the Valsalva is an incredibly useful and productive maneuver. Even if we're not a competing athlete, if we're talking about just getting stronger and we're pushing ourselves to the capacity that we want to push ourselves to in order to make those strength gains, the Valsalva is likely utilized in order to increase that capacity to lift heavier. The confusion here comes from that one word having many different definitions. And when we look at the urogynecologic world versus the strength training world, they really are truly opposite. When we're thinking about straining and bearing down, we're pushing down with our abdominal wall muscles, we're pushing down with our pelvic floor, and we expect to see that descent. I 100% agree that we shouldn't put a heavy barbell on our back and then strain and push down through our pelvic floor. That is not beneficial and it is going to put a lot of strain through the pelvic floor. Absolutely. However, when we talk about Valsalva in a strength training capacity, that's not what the Valsalva is. The Valsalva in a strength and conditioning world is that intentional inhale into the belly and brace of that anterior abdominal wall muscles. When we do that brace of those anterior abdominal wall muscles, we don't want to see a descent of the pelvic floor. That would be an improper brace that would need training to improve that coordination. What we expect to see with a valsalva in the pelvic floor world is a matched degree of contraction for the demand that's placed on that system. So if we're thinking about somebody who's lifting a heavy lift, a one rep max, We expect that pelvic floor to kick on, but we're not necessarily volitionally thinking about lifting pelvic floor and doing that pelvic floor contraction. As that core canister is engaged and we engage that proper brace, the entire core canister should kick on to a relatively equal degree. So in the strength and conditioning world, that Valsalva is advantageous. In the urogynecologic world, if we're taking that concept and applying it to lifting, it is the opposite of advantageous. So when we're looking at recommendations for our strength training athletes and our patients, we need to understand the language that is being used and what the definition of that language is. So from the standpoint of our OBs who are telling our patients, don't ever do a Valsalva, in their mind, they're saying, don't ever strain and push your pelvic floor down when you're lifting. Totally. We agree. 100%. Don't do that. It's not going to be great. But the disconnect is that this one word has so many different definitions. So we really have to dive in and break down what was that recommendation specifically. So when we're with our patients, that looks like breaking down the definition for them. 09:01 - VALSALVA MANUVEUR IN THE LITERATURE But if we're looking in the research world and we're trying to read literature, read the newest evidence about what recommendations are for our pregnant and postpartum athletes, we need to go into the article itself and look at how they define Valsalva. Because we can easily read the abstract and the conclusion of an article that says Valsalva is not recommended, but if we're, looking at this article and it's actually meaning the bearing down, then we're not getting, we're not able to extrapolate that to the strength and conditioning side. So really with this term, it's one word named after a man who the original maneuver isn't even what we're talking about anymore anyway. Across the board, we have to either figure out different words or different ways to describe this, or it really falls on us as providers to break down what it is we're talking about. So rather than just telling your patients, do a Valsalva, maybe we don't use that language at all, and we just talk about bracing. When we do a brace, we can manipulate breath. If we're gonna take that intentional inhale and then brace, that is a Valsalva, But in order to eliminate the confusion across the board, we can just call it a brace. This makes a lot more sense to patients than being told by one person to never valsalva and then by another person to valsalva. And when we lay it all out and explain what all of these differences are and how it's all one term, but it has different meanings, and none of these meanings necessarily are the same. And in fact, in the urogynecologic world, in the strength and conditioning world, they're literally the opposite. It starts to click with patients, why it's okay that my physician told me not to do this Valsalva, but you're telling me that I can, because I understand that these are two very different physiologic mechanisms. Our clinical commentary over this that dives into all of this and so much more comes out in the spring. So keep an eye out. We'll be sending it out in the ice pelvic newsletter. So if you are not signed up for that newsletter, head to PT on ice.com, go to the resources tab, sign up for that newsletter, not only for our clinical commentary in the spring, but for all kinds of resources. in the pelvic floor world. Stay up to date on the newest evidence and also just check out some cool stuff that we find along the way. I hope you guys have an awesome Monday and I hope we see you on the road soon. OUTRO Hey, thanks for tuning in to the PT on Ice daily show. If you enjoyed this content, head on over to iTunes and leave us a review and be sure to check us out on Facebook and Instagram at the Institute of Clinical Excellence. If you're interested in getting plugged into more ice content on a weekly basis while earning CEUs from home, check out our virtual ice online mentorship program at ptonice.com. While you're there, sign up for our Hump Day Hustling newsletter for a free email every Wednesday morning with our top five research articles and social media posts that we think are worth reading. Head over to ptonice.com and scroll to the bottom of the page to sign up.

Sista Måltiden
#197 - Från terrorns frontlinjer (Gäst: Magnus Ranstorp)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2023 60:20


Gänget gästas av Magnus Ranstorp, docent i statsvetenskap och terrorforskare vid Försvarshögskolan, samt särskild rådgivare vid EU:s Radicalisation Awareness Network. Han är även ledamot i Kungliga Krigsvetenskapsakademien. Magnus är bokaktuell med Från terrorns frontlinjer som skildrar alltifrån hans hemliga uppdrag som medlare i Mellanöstern och ledande forskaruppdrag till att stå öga mot öga med världens mest eftersökta terrorister. [Avsnittet spelades in innan terroristorganisationen Hamas attack mot Israel] Från terrorns frontlinjer finns att köpa på Bokus och andra återförsäljare.OBS. Hela avsnittet är 2 tim 33 min långt. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Animation Industry Podcast
Episode 228: Ben Treat's Stop Motion Social Media Journey From 13K To 2M Followers

Animation Industry Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2023 62:39


Support this podcast on Patreon: www.patreon.com/theAIP This chat features Ben Treat, known on social media as Frantic Frames. This is actually Treat's second chat on the Animation Industry Podcast - the first being in 2019 when he was still in highschool, trying to figure out what to do with his career. Back then he had about 13,000 followers - whereas today he has nearly two million and makes his entire living from social media. Tune in to Ibele and Treat to hear: *How Treat lands big brand clients *What Treat did to grow millions of followers in just four years *Which social platforms have the highest payoff ~[SPONSORED MESSAGE]~ This episode is sponsored by HUE. Makers of colorful, Plug & Play cameras for learning, work and play. Originally designed for teachers, HUE cameras can also be used for creative activities such as capturing hand-drawn pencil tests and shooting behind-the-scenes footage, time-lapse videos and stop motion animation. The cameras have flexible, posable necks, manual focus controls and they are compatible with Dragonframe, OBS, Twitch, Zoom and many other camera apps. Visit huehd.com to learn more and follow @HUEcameras on social media for news, fun and giveaways. Get 10% off any Hue product from www.huehd.com with code: 10TERRYAIP ~~ Social Links: *Follow Treat on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/franticframes/ *Follow Treat on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@franticframes *Follow Treat on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@franticframes

Sens Créatif
(#94) Le Boxon Créatif Ép.7 : STRATEGIE DU N'IMPORTE QUOI

Sens Créatif

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2023 79:45


Voici le 94ème épisode du podcast qui est également l'épisode #7 du BOXON CREATIF !Au milieu du chaos et des perturbations, Laurent a développé au fil des années ce qu'il appelle (pour rigoler mais pas que) la STRATEGIE DU N'IMPORTE QUOI ou comment s'en sortir sur le chemin d'une carrière créative sans être un as de l'organisation et en faisant parfois vraiment n'importe quoi (mais pas n'importe comment). Il partage avec nous ses expérimentations, ses anecdotes, tactiques et réflexions pour aller de l'avant, s'y mettre et franchir le cap en jouant le jeu du sans enjeu et de l'adaptabilité !Note / toutes nos excuses pour la mauvaise qualité du son de Laurent, il y a visiblement eu un souci avec le flux audio depuis OBS vers TWITCH.Dans cet épisode, nous explorons ensemble :- l'état d'esprit "I have no idea what I am doing but I know I am doing it really really well"- quel est le meilleur des plans de bataille- comment s'en balancer (des règles) sans faire n'importe comment- le concept de déloyauté (pour notre propre bien)- le biais du syndrome de l'imposteur- pourquoi le levier "Fake it until you make it" a ses limites et comment aller plus loin que ça- comment redéfinir ses projets dans le temps- la tactique des habitudes- la tactique du changement- la tactique du reversible thinking- la tactique de l'audace- et comment Jérémie et Laurent s'organisent pour sortir leurs épisodes du podcast dans le chaos parfois le plus total (et pourquoi c'est bien comme ça au final)On termine enfin avec un featuring de Keyboard Cat pour le plaisir des oreilles !NOTES ET RESSOURCESJanis Ozolins https://www.instagram.com/jaozolins/Creative Pep Talk (Andy J. Pizza) https://www.creativepeptalk.com/

The Playbook
The Importance of Showing Up Everyday with Stephen Jackson

The Playbook

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2023 8:45


In today's episode, I sit down with Stephen Jackson, the all-time rushing leader for the Rams. We delve deep into Jackson's transition from an iconic football career to becoming an entrepreneur, founding the unique lifestyle brand OBS. Stephen emphasizes originality, authenticity, and the transformative power of barbering in his mission to uplift communities. As he discusses his spirit of excellence, our conversation highlights the importance of showing up every day, self-improvement, and carrying a positive energy into business. Dive into this inspiring conversation to understand the essence behind Stephen Jackson's journey, and the brand that resonates with his principles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Divergent Conversations
Episode 22: Autism and Pregnancy Loss: An Autistic Journey of Grief and Identity (featuring Dr. Kiley Hanish)

Divergent Conversations

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2023 65:28


Pregnancy loss is traumatic and the grief process that follows is complex. And when you are Autistic, the way you express grief and loss might not meet the expectations of society, which can result in feeling ashamed and isolated.  In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, speak with Dr. Kiley Hanish, a neurodivergent occupational therapist specializing in mental health during the perinatal period, about autistic grief and loss while focusing on pregnancy loss. Both Dr. Neff and Kiley, who are both Autistic, experienced pregnancy loss and they talk about their experiences personally, within the medical system, going through pregnancy again after experiencing loss, having to parent their children after pregnancy loss, then sensory overwhelm that comes with pregnancy and parenting, and the ongoing process of grieving. Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode: Hear about the profound grief associated not only with losing a child but also with the loss of one's identity when becoming a parent. Understand some of the many ways that grief can manifest, and learn how to incorporate rituals and practices into the grieving process to honor your loss that is tailored toward the needs of autistic individuals. Identify the ways that the healthcare system can improve the responses to individuals experiencing pregnancy loss to help create safety and reduce trauma in difficult times. When experiencing loss, it's not realistic to just “get over” the grief and move on. There are many complex emotions and often misunderstandings about what is the right way to deal with grief, especially when autism is brought into the equation. If you are experiencing this loss, you're not alone and your experience is valid regardless of whether other people say you are “doing it right.” More about Dr. Kiley Hanish: Dr. Kiley Hanish is a neurodivergent occupational therapist specializing in mental health during the perinatal period, which includes pregnancy, postpartum, and perinatal loss. After suffering the stillbirth and loss of her first child Norbert, Kiley co-created the Emmy-nominated film Return To Zero to break the silence and stigma around pregnancy and infant loss for parents around the world. The film's success and critical acclaim led to her non-profit organization Return to Zero: HOPE. This organization provides inclusive and compassionate education and support for bereaved families after pregnancy and infant loss. In addition, they provide training and support for health providers in order to foster more confidence when working with these families. Return to Zero: HOPE Website: https://rtzhope.org Kiley's Instagram and Facebook: @rtzhope Additional Resources Mentioned Worden's Four Tasks Of Grieving: https://whatsyourgrief.com/wordens-four-tasks-of-mourning    Transcript DR. MEGAN NEFF: So, Patrick, I don't know if you know this, but October is a busy Awareness Month, especially, for the topics we talk about here on this podcast. It is ADHD Awareness Month, it's OCD Awareness Month, it's Depression Awareness Month, Dyslexia Awareness Month, and it's Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, which is what we're going to be diving into today. So, I do want to just offer kind of a gentle disclaimer, if you are in the process of trying to get pregnant or recently experienced a pregnancy loss, do take care of yourself while listening to this episode because we will be talking about pregnancy loss. So, first, I just streamlined through the intro. Patrick, anything to add to the intro before I introduce our guest? PATRICK CASALE: I have nothing to add. I appreciate you laying the groundwork, so that's where [CROSSTALK 00:01:00]- DR. MEGAN NEFF: …role reversal, there's a role reversal happening here. PATRICK CASALE: [INDISCERNIBLE 00:01:05]. I told Megan and Kiley before we got started, been up since 3:00 AM. So, I'll be here in existence, but maybe also not… DR. MEGAN NEFF: Appreciate how you name how you can come into this space however you are. Yes, so we have Kiley on today, who is, do you go by doctor? Because you're a occupational therapist, right? KILEY HANISH: Yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: How do you introduce yourself? KILEY HANISH: Well, my students call me Dr. Hanish, but Kiley is perfectly fine. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Okay. So, Dr. Hanish or Kiley is an occupational therapist, autistic ADHDer, newly diagnosed, you mentioned. And you started a nonprofit around pregnancy loss I think to help families, but also to help educate the medical field around how they can be walking through families and people, walking through that process better. Do I have that right? KILEY HANISH: Yes, yeah. So, we're supporting families who have experienced different types of losses. And then there's a lot of trauma that can be done, like with health care providers, and especially, in the hospital, and so they don't receive training in their formal education. And so how can we kind of share information to help them be more confident working with bereaved families, and then therefore reducing trauma and other negative mental health outcomes. DR. MEGAN NEFF: I love that so much. I think I've mentioned it on here a few times, but I used to work as a therapist in an OB-GYN clinic. And this was an area where it was evident there was just so much growth for the medical community in how this process is handled. And yeah, I love your lens of reducing trauma. So, yeah, I'm backing up bird eye view a little bit, we connected because you emailed me. We were asking folks for like topic ideas and you emailed me with four or five wonderful ideas, but one that caught my eye was autistic grief. And we've heard other followers ask for us to cover autistic grief as well. I think it is a really important and complex topic. So, we're going to be looking at that today, we're going to anchor in the experience of pregnancy loss. Oh, partly you reached out because you heard me mention that I had had two pregnancy losses on the podcast, which you have a good ear because I think it was a really passing comment. But I also think once you've lived through pregnancy loss, you hear it when people talk about it. Okay, that was a long-winded intro. To anchor our conversation today, we do have a broad framework we're going to follow. I'm going make it explicit because I think structure can be helpful. We're going to talk through different phases of the pregnancy loss experience. And I think this is really important to think through it in phases in the sense that this is actually something we know helps people walk through the grief process is when they can story tell and narrate their experiences. So, we'll be talking about the acute phase of coming to know the processing around that, the postpartum experience, and then grieving itself. And when we get to that fourth part, we're going to globalize it to talk more broadly about autistic grief. Does that sound like I have that right Kiley of what we talked earlier? KILEY HANISH: Yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Okay. KILEY HANISH: And I think just so for other people who are listening that have not experienced pregnancy loss or maybe have but other types of loss, like loss, isn't only death, and that you can take what we're talking about and apply it to your own situation because it will be in some way relatable. It just may not be the exact same story. But I think there's a lot of lessons that can be just like, well, lessons learned, and then just like, exploring for yourself. Like, "Well, how did I react? And what, you know, my interactions with…?" I don't know, it's complicated for sure. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. So, Kiley, can we go back to starting kind of at the beginning for you of your experience around pregnancy loss, but then also how you got interested in this topic of autistic grief, and then supporting families, and people through this process? KILEY HANISH: Yeah, so yeah, I'll first start just by sharing, like setting the stage of like, my situation. So, 2005 I was pregnant with my first child. You know, everything was fine, you know, up until when I was 35 weeks pregnant, which is like five weeks before due date. And I started bleeding. And because it's my first child, like, you don't know what's normal, and what's not normal. And so my midwife was like, "Oh, you probably just lost your mucus plug." And so I didn't think anything about it. I had no awareness of baby movement because no one told me to pay attention to it. And there's this, like, myth that babies slow down when they're, you know, getting bigger because there's less room, which is not true. But you know, there was no talk about paying attention to baby moving or anything. So, I wasn't even aware of baby movement. But thinking back I'm like, "Yeah, I didn't really feel him move." So, when I went to the doctor the next day, they couldn't find a heartbeat, they did an ultrasound. And at that point, told me that he had passed away. And I went into immediate shock. I was by myself. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what that meant. And it was just like, I feel like I really left my body. And so, like, I said to the provider, I said, "Well, what am I supposed to do?" Like, I wanted to understand, like, okay, my baby is there but then what happens, you know? And I know, I've mentioned this to you before, but then, you know, she says, "Well, maybe you could cry." And I was just like, "No, that's not what I'm asking." I'm like, "I'm asking for you to tell me what is going to happen?" Because when you're that pregnant, you have to deliver your baby. Unless there's, like, a threat to your life, they're not going to do a C-section. But I'm like, "How does the baby come out?" Like, I don't know. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. KILEY HANISH: So, there was… go ahead. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Maybe pause there just to, like, that feels really powerful of in that moment you needed to know what to expect to get back into your body, to get back to safety. And that probably really threw the medical provider off of like, where's the emotion? We should process the emotion and then talk about logistics, which I think would be a very allistic way of moving through grief. But for you, I almost wonder if you needed to know what to expect to have enough safety to experience your emotions. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, I mean, it's like the [INDISCERNIBLE 00:10:06] right? Like, I'm just learning about myself. Like, with the autistic piece, the uncertainty brings so much more fear and anxiety in a situation that's already horrible. And from her, I got nothing. And I'm not going to go into details, but just like her obsessing about other things that were really not important, and then she sent me home. And I was already in labor, actually, which is really odd. DR. MEGAN NEFF: It is odd. KILEY HANISH: You know, and then even at the hospital the following day, very little telling me what was going to happen, what to expect, and then, also, like, once your baby is born, there are lots of things… this is going to sound creepy to some people, or strange, or whatever, but like, there's a lot of things you can do to make memories to parent your child that it seems strange to talk about, but it's like your only time with your baby. DR. MEGAN NEFF: It's really important, yeah. I actually went to a training on this about how important it is to touch your baby, be with your baby, take pictures with your baby. And from an attachment lens, just how important that is. I literally have shivers talking about it and how rarely, parents are given that opportunity unless the medical system really understands how important that is. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, and so it's just like, what I really needed was a guide. I mean, I needed the doctor, or the nurses, or social someone to be a guide. It's like, you haven't been through this, but here's what's going to happen, and here are things that you can choose to do if you want to do that could be helpful to you. And I didn't get any of that. And so, like, the trauma in the hospital was so horrible. And then just, also, like, when you're in that state of shock, and I think this is anyone, it's like, then they took my baby out of the room, they put him in a box in front of me, like to take to the morgue. But then also you're just like, I can't even talk. Like, I don't even know what to say. And it's just like trauma upon trauma, was really, really hard for me. So, I think that, like, there was just too much without any guidance, and I shut down for like six months. I don't remember very much from that six months following. So, that was kind of, I would say the, like, acute phase but it lingered. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Well, it lingered… I mean, going back to those post-birthing rituals, it lingered partly because you didn't get, I mean, I'm sure it lingered for many reasons, but you didn't get to say goodbye and like I feel so much heaviness hearing you talk through that of it was such an ambiguous grief in the sense that there wasn't a goodbye and there wasn't clarity around what was happening and I think for any human that's incredibly difficult and then through being autistic on top of that, it's just so much. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. So, do you want to share any of your experiences in terms of like finding out, like, that part? DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, I do. Yeah because I think there's some similar patterns. I think I also, and this is probably for my own self that I'm saying this. You know, I know that whenever we're comparing grief, that's not like a helpful thought experiment. I think it also, for me, I do want to name that it feels like we're comparing apples and oranges in the sense that from my own experience and walking with a lot of people through this first-trimester miscarriage,e 35-week stillbirth are very different experiences. So, I want to name that. I did share some of that medical confusion. I've had two complicated first-trimester miscarriages, one in which, like my HCG kept going up, which is the hormone that says you're pregnant. So, there's about a three-week window where it's like, well, actually, maybe you're still pregnant. And I kept getting conflicting messages from nurses when I would call of like, "Well, your HCG is rising, but it's not doubling. Maybe they were twins, and you lost one, and another one's in there." So, there's like a three or four week, I was getting a lot of mixed information. And that was really hard for me of like, "Am I supposed to be grieving right now? Am I still pregnant?" So, just that. And that's actually more common than I think people realize there can sometimes be this roller coaster, especially, in early pregnancy of maybe I'm losing the pregnancy, maybe I'm not. And then my second pregnancy was a missed miscarriage, which means that a heartbeat never developed, but the miscarriage didn't organically happen. So, it wasn't identified till nine weeks. And then, similarly, I didn't know what to ask and I didn't know what to look for. And I was reading a lot of things from like, kind of natural childbirth and midwives, and I love the work of midwives. And at the same time, I think it's very much set on typical pregnancies, a lot of the advice. And as an autistic person, I got really attached to the right way of being pregnant and the right way of walking through a pregnancy loss. And this was my second pregnancy loss and we very much wanted to have another child. So, I was convinced I shouldn't do a DNC because it might cause scarring, which could impact future pregnancies. That lead to what I think at the end of it, I, essentially, was like in my first trimester hormones for 20 weeks because I started miscarrying at 12 weeks and then miscarried for eight weeks and should have sought medical advice, should have known what to ask for, but I didn't and I'm kind of has medical avoidance. So, I didn't actually get help until I started developing an infection. So, there was a lot of uncertainty around those times. I wasn't advocating for myself very well and I think, partly, because I was also very shut down. I responded by shutting down, similarly. I was confused by kind of the absence of emotions during that period. So, yeah, that was my experience. What happened when you went home from the hospital and when you made it through after those six months? You talked about six months of shutdown, what happened after that? KILEY HANISH: Well, like I felt somewhere a shift inside of me of, like, the wanting to engage in life again. And that was like a month of that maybe, or maybe even less, and then I found out I was pregnant with my daughter which I hadn't had a chance to grieve. And then, like, grief process… whatever, and then pregnancy after loss is just like anxiety- DR. MEGAN NEFF: So, anxiety. Oh, my gosh! KILEY HANISH: …on steroids. KILEY HANISH: It is anxiety on steroids, yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: It's crazy. KILEY HANISH: And so that was a whole nother thing. DR. MEGAN NEFF: And did that, again, I'm thinking about potential education, like, when I was in the medical setting, I did a lot of education of like, after pregnancy loss there can be a lot of anxiety, you might find yourself resistant to attach to the baby growing. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Like, did anyone walk you through that? KILEY HANISH: Yeah, which is why I created everything I created. I created the guide for the hospital. I mean, all because it's like, when I learned things like, well, people knew this, why didn't they tell me? You know, and it's like I feel like the OBs are dealing with the waist down. They don't want to touch the emotion piece. And if there's a problem, they don't know what to do. Nobody, like, unless you get fortunate to have a therapist who knows about this, really, it's like luck. No, there's nothing, you're just like going blindly into everything. And you feel like you're going crazy, you can't talk about how you're going crazy because other people are going to think you're crazy. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Well, and especially, when you start showing, and people start coming up to you. I mean, like outside of pregnancy loss, right? Like, I hated being pregnant. When people would come up to me and touch me, and like, be like, "Are you so excited." And then I'm expected to have this positive emotion, right? That was just hard for me, even with my first pregnancy before any pregnancy losses. But throw in there, like, I am so anxious that this baby will survive, and then strangers are coming up and like expecting you to be all teary. Did you have some of that experience? KILEY HANISH: Yeah. Well, I mean, for me, it was my first, also. So, like, when I was pregnant again, like, "Oh, is this your first?" And then the whole question was like, "Well, do I tell them about, well, I had a baby that died or do I not?" And most of the time, personally, I feel like my business is my business. And I don't need to tell other people my business, you know? But you feel like you're like, kind of, disrespecting your child. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely. KILEY HANISH: You know? DR. MEGAN NEFF: And it's that small talk, right? It's small talk that is so painful. Like, there's so many questions we ask pregnant people I've since learned not to ask like, "Are you planning to have more? Is this your first?" Like, things that we think are small talk is not small talk. And that's for non-autistic people, too. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Let alone throw in the, like, we hate small talk component. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. I had a thought, but it went. Oh, no, I know what I was going to say, in the pregnancy after last piece, like, there was like, what you were starting to say is like, denial of the pregnancy, non-attachment, which is called emotional cushioning. So, you're like- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Oh, I like that term. KILEY HANISH: I found that word somewhere recently and I'm like, "Oh, I like the term." You know? And so, it's like, oh, there's an explanation of, like, fear of getting attached because maybe the baby will die. And like the thought is, well, if I'm not as attached, and the baby dies, it won't hurt as bad. Which is a joke, but it's your brain trying to protect itself. Yeah, and just like not, like, I didn't buy anything. I didn't want a shower. I just I was like, "No, we're no, we're not doing anything to prepare." Like, so I did nothing. DR. MEGAN NEFF: So, even setting like setting up a nursery or a lot of the things, you did none of that. KILEY HANISH: The second time no because I did it the first time. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. KILEY HANISH: And then I had to take it all down. So, then I was like, "No way." DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, it's actually really logical. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. And then I will just throw in here, like, looking at our agenda because agenda is postpartum. So, I will say after you lose a baby, even though your baby's not living, you are still in postpartum. But I was in such shock and like, disorientation. It didn't really matter. But after my daughter was born, my second pregnancy, I went into, I don't even know what it was, undiagnosed for 10 years, whatever. I just suffered a lot. But it was like this total hypervigilance, anxiety. I mean, so I first diagnosed myself with like postpartum PTSD, like, a few years ago, but now I'm wondering is like how much is it like sensory overload of being a parent? Like, I mean, or both? DR. MEGAN NEFF: I would argue both- KILEY HANISH: Yeah, and so- DR. MEGAN NEFF: [INDISCERNIBLE 00:24:29] on top of each other in really brutal ways. KILEY HANISH: I feel like… and this has nothing to like, say bad things about my children, but becoming a parent broke me. Like, it turned me crazy, into like, my mental health it just was never the same and I think part of it's like, with things I used to do to self-regulate that I didn't know where self-regulation strategies were no longer possible once I have children. And just the feeling of like being claustrophobic, and constantly on, and all of that, so… DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, Kylie, first of all, just thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying becoming a parent broke me. I think, again, like we've got to hold space for so many complex emotions. And I think this gets really tricky to talk about as a parent. Of course, we love our children, I'm so thankful for my children, I wouldn't have life any other way. But I feel similarly. Like, so my children are now 13 and 10. So, I'm through the thick of it, I would say. Those 10 years, especially, those five years, when they were like two neurodivergent children, I didn't know were neurodivergent, no one was sleeping. They're sensory seekers. Like, I was so, first of, all tired and I think partly because of the pregnancies and complications my body felt very broken. I wasn't sleeping, being touched, and sounds all of the time, having a hyperverbal toddler talking all the time. Like, for someone with a sensitive sensory system, that's a lot to absorb. And I think there can be a lot of shame, especially, for mothers around, like, why is it so hard? And I did the hyper-vigilant thing, especially, with my second. Like, it's true. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, and you're worried they're going to die. Like, constantly, like, are they breathing? DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, all that. KILEY HANISH: So, it's just so complex, all of it. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. PATRICK CASALE: I imagine that there's this, like, really confusing simultaneously, like, held grief experience. Obviously, I cannot relate, but where it's not only postpartum, and grief, and grief around loss, but then there's also grief around loss of identity because as a parent your identity has completely shifted and changing. And then, you have to hold space for, I'm grieving the loss of who I was, or what my role was, or how I moved through the world. Now, I'm also grieving this newfound role in my life and I'm kind of, it sounds like there's a lot of shame-inducing experience too, of like, I'm not getting it right? Why do I feel this way? That's so complicated and that's so heavy to have to carry. DR. MEGAN NEFF: I love that, Patrick, that inclusion of identity, I don't know about your experience, Kiley, but like that was huge for me. I was kind of coming out of academia, I had just finished my first graduate degree, and I thought I was going to love being a stay-at-home mom. I now understand like, how much of my identity comes through my interests and my values. And my husband will talk about this, it felt like I was like trying to find something to orbit in those years. Like, I remember, I got really into sewing, and I got really into like, kombucha making, and all the DIY stuff, but none of it, like, felt robust enough. And then the shame of like, why am I not content as a stay-at-home parent? Yeah, yeah. KILEY HANISH: Yes, I agree. And looking at other people, well, number one, like I couldn't leave the house very often because I was like, obsessed with nap schedules. And it just overwhelmed me and all that. But then all the other people were like, "Oh, I'm taking my baby everywhere." And all that. And then being a bereaved parent on top of that, you can't go into normal spaces with parents and children because you're like, "I have just been through, like, a trauma and you don't understand and so it's way different." Yeah, I mean, I feel like there's a whole nother parenting episode here. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, there's a lot. KILEY HANISH: There's a lot. Yeah, I mean, yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. Did you find community like… KILEY HANISH: No, I didn't. I was very isolated. It was super isolating. It was hard. And I also feel like my interests are not… yeah, I cannot be a stay-at-home mom. Like, I am a disaster. And, I mean, I'm good at all the things and all that, but it's just like, there isn't enough, like, intellectual meaning and purpose. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yes, I literally had, like, I feel like my brain is atrophying. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. KILEY HANISH: And then not being able to connect to other parents, even like as kids go through school. Like, I'm so intense and I'm like wanting to talk about like, things that I care about, and being able to talk to men more than women because men talk about things rather just women it's just small talk. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yep. KILEY HANISH: So, it's interesting. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, I think mom culture has been the hardest place for me to integrate. And I didn't understand it for so long, that that brought on a lot of shame. But yeah, I have like a visceral response to mom culture. I actually hosted last year an autistic moms group. And it was the first time that I felt connected in a group with other moms. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, well, there's this woman [PH 00:30:37] Moinia Taslon who wrote an article, a qualitative study of sensory experiences of autistic mothers, which I recently read, and was like, "Oh, this explains everything." And then with my students, we kind of took that and one other article, and did a survey with autistic mothers to just understand their experiences, and right? Like, they're all diagnosed post-children. And just all the things that are hard for them, that are different than, I mean, parenting in itself is really hard anyways, but you add the autistic piece, and the sensory challenges, and all that. It's fascinating, so… DR. MEGAN NEFF: I would love to see your research from that. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, I think, you know, I've shared this before, maybe it's changed by now. But if you Google like, you know, autism and pregnancy or anything related, yeah, to kind of birthing, you'll find a lot of it like how to avoid having autistic children, but the experience of the person birthing who's autistic, like, we're only now beginning to get curious about that experience. And yeah- KILEY HANISH: Yeah. And, like- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Go ahead. KILEY HANISH: So, I was going to say, like, there's like the pregnancy itself, so the interaction with medical providers, the sensory pieces in the hospital, all that. And then there's the after… It's fascinating. But I even remember, like with my last child, so I have two living children now, but I went in, and it was like a very quick, like, one hour, I got to the hospital, and he was born. But like, I hired a doula for that one because I wanted to, like, reclaim my birth experience. And she and my husband were talking the whole time. And I was like, "Just shut up." Because like, when I was there, like, I don't know, for me, I mean, labor for everyone's different, but I was very much in a meditative state. And I just like, "Why are you talking…" And then I heard the nurses like, "Oh, well, we need to do this." And like all these questions, I was like, "I'm in labor. Like, just nobody talk to me right now." And even, like, the doula did not understand pregnancy after loss. And was like telling me at eight months, "Well, you should really talk to your baby. You know, you're having a baby." And I was like, "You have no idea." So, I mean, that's the other thing is just like, my nonprofit, which I don't think we said the name of is Return to Zero Hope. And my husband made a film about our experience called Return to Zero Hope that like, is a feature film, has mini driver in it. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Oh, wow. KILEY HANISH: But then she did an incredible job. So, it's like, emotionally, our story, but with the nonprofit we have all of these free webinars on there, some for health care providers, some for parents, right? Just like educating and empowering people, which I think is so important. And so, that's just my little shout-out there. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Well, please talk about your resources. I mean, these are the resources and I love this. Like, you built what you would have wanted and needed. Actually, I feel like I see that a lot with autistic people. Like, when we have an experience it's like, okay, how can I build the thing I didn't get? And I love that you've done that. So, yeah, please [CROSSTALK 00:34:11] for like pregnant and birthing people? KILEY HANISH: I mean, so first of all, I'll just say to, like, normalize this, the film didn't come out until nine years after our loss, a long time. And the first, like women's healing retreat I held, which is the first thing I did was nine years after the loss. So, it was a long time. And so I tell people, like, you know, I think people want to do something. Like, there's sometimes there's that urge. And for me, it took a lot of time until I feel it's a very spiritual journey for me. Like, I heard a voice in the shower that said, "You should do a retreat." I'd never been to a retreat, I never hosted, I didn't know anything. But it came from this email I received about there was a lack of resources and a lack of connection of other grief parents. And I hadn't had any support. It was like this isolated me and my husband for nine years. We understood, but no one wanted to bring it up to us because they thought that it would bother us. And I mean, well, that's a whole nother thing. So, with that, I just started doing that. And that's been an evolution and now has evolved. We do in-person retreats, we're doing a provider retreat in 2024, which I'm so excited about because I mean, first of all providers after COVID it's so hard, but also providers working in perinatal health, perinatal mental health it's hard, and there's nowhere for them to go so… DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, it's one of the highest burnout professions among physicians is OB-GYN, which, like I think makes so much sense. People often think about, like, working in OB-GYN is like, oh, it's all happy. But no, I mean, it can also be traumatizing for providers in a different way. But I love that you're thinking also through [INDISCERNIBLE 00:36:35] plans and community among providers. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. And then with the pandemic, I think there's been a lot of gifts with being able to do virtual support groups, reaching people who are anywhere in the world, really, because a lot of people even if there was a in-person group before the pandemic, a lot of people don't live in places where they can attend. And so we do a really unique structure. And I think everything, my partner, Betsy, in the nonprofit, like we have really pulled our life experiences and sort of unknowingly created resources that are neurodivergent affirming, and trauma-sensitive, and resilience-focused. And I think that what we offer is really unique. And so like with our support groups, they're six weeks closed support groups, so it's the same people. So, you can build community, but there's trying to create safety as much as possible. We have a curriculum that we follow, we walk people through things that you don't even know that you need to know about grieving and navigating life after loss. And then the group itself is very structured. And like, we did this because I would never go to a support… I went once, like, right when the movie was coming out. And I was like, "Maybe I should go and process." And I went to this group, it was in a hospital, which, first, hospitals freaking scare me. Secondly, it was in the cafeteria, so it was like uncomfortable. And it was zero structure. And it was like people just telling their traumatizing stories. And I left. And I was just, like, at a certain point, and I also, like, get tired early in the night, like, because my brains been on all day. And I just got up and left at a certain point. Like, I'm not sitting through this. But being like in our groups, it's like very structured. Like, we have a topic, we have a psycho-education piece, we have a discussion question, people answer one by one, so there's no like crosstalk. Then there's like weaving it in, and then there's self-reflection, but it's very tightly structured. DR. MEGAN NEFF: I love that, I love that. KILEY HANISH: So, like, and I love it, too. I would never do any like… and I tell people even at the retreat, I was like, "I would never go to a retreat, but don't worry, like we got you here." Like, it's all super tightly held and I feel like really holding space is what we are doing. And so there's all sorts of different support groups. You know, we started out with pregnancy and infant loss and now there's early pregnancy loss, recurrent loss and infertility, termination for medical reasons, people of color. We do like an LGBTQ drop-in group, pregnancy after loss, parenting after loss. So, there's like- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Oh, my goodness, you do so much. And because these are all such different experiences I love how it attuned you all are. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, well, like, for example, before I would say people who had a TFMR termination for medical reason, that they could just come to the pregnancy and infant loss. So, I was like, "Yeah, of course, you're welcome, you lost your baby." And some would come. But like, no, they have a very unique experience and that group sells out all the time. And we're the only, like, pregnancy and infant loss organization who sees that as a loss. I think there's a lot of groups out there who feel like it's abortion, and they're not going to be supportive of that. And I'm like, "But these people… you don't understand. Yes, they made a choice, but you know, it's for their health, sometimes, or their baby is going to die, or live a very disabled life." And you don't even know, you cannot get the information that you need. I mean, that's… So, it is a very specific space that needs their own space. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely, yeah. KILEY HANISH: Okay, what other things do we… We offer, just the website itself is a wealth of education information. We have downloadable PDFs, that is all free, we have beautiful printed brochures for provider offices. Like, for example, partners grieve too, grandparents, siblings, loss of multiples, like early pregnancy loss, and even wanted, like, all these different things, so there's so many different topics. And then the webinars I mentioned, so like we have a YouTube channel with different playlists, which is amazing. And then providers, we offer monthly provider consultation groups. One is for, like, more of the hospital medical providers, one is more for mental health providers. And I don't know, I mean, that's kind of the main. We have a pregnancy and infant loss directory, also, I forgot about that. So, like, that has- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Really helpful. KILEY HANISH: Local and virtual resources, depending on whether you need, like, counseling therapy, or like a support organization, psychiatry. Like, I'm really tied into Postpartum Support International, which offers like the perinatal mental health certification. So, reproductive psychiatrists. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, I like that. You have [CROSSTALK 00:42:44]- KILEY HANISH: So, like, I send everyone. I'm like, "You need to see a reproductive psychiatrist, regular psychiatrist do not know about, like, they give you the wrong information." And I'd be like, I had someone working for me who became pregnant, and they were on an antidepressant, and the psychiatrist says, "No, get off of it." And I said, even the OB, and I was like, she was not able to get out of it. I was like, "Oh, no, we need to get you to someone who knows what they're doing." DR. MEGAN NEFF: Oh, yeah, that's scary. KILEY HANISH: [CROSSTALK 00:43:17]- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, and I think you've built neurodivergent, like, accessible resources without even realizing that's what you're doing just by being you and by caring. Like, you built this, and like, because right, only in the last year you discovered you're- KILEY HANISH: Well, I did like a self-diagnosis in December, which was like, nine-ish months ago, and then a formal diagnosis because I wanted to see what was going on with like trauma, like [CROSSTALK 00:43:46]- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. KILEY HANISH: …because there was a significant amount of trauma from all of this, stillbirth and stuff like that. But I got a formal diagnosis of, you know, autism, ADHD, plus some other mood disorder stuff, but I knew it all. So, now, I'm like, very much an advocate of self-diagnosis. I was like, "You know what, this didn't really do anything." I mean, it validates me and there's not something else hidden in there, but I was like, "Whatever." I'm like… DR. MEGAN NEFF: I love that because I think sometimes it can be put on this pedestal like medical diagnosis all of a sudden huge things will change. But I love they're like, "You know." KILEY HANISH: Well, and then it's like, they're like, "Oh, here's your diagnosis. Okay, good luck." Nothing, nothing. And I was like, if I was that person, obviously, they're not neurodivergent, if I was the person doing the assessment, I would be like, "Hey, here's the whole website I built, here's the all the blog." Blah, blah, blah, blah, you know? Kind of like what you did. That would be something that I would do, but they just like, "Okay, here you go." So, I don't know. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Which was your experience around pregnancy loss. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. KILEY HANISH: And so I also feel like, I cannot take this on right now, but the gap in, like autistic adults, like giving information, and just like, but how many people I talk to now who share, I mean, they share the same, "Oh, my kid has autism." And then I self-disclose. And then they're like, "I think I might, too." And then I'd like, "Here's my Google Drive with a bunch of stuff." Which is totally informal. But I'm like, "There's so much stuff I put together go read it." DR. MEGAN NEFF: I love that. You're so good at like systematizing and building systems, and I love that. KILEY HANISH: It's like a superpower that I didn't even know that I had, but it's so, I mean, I think going back to kind of that initial experience of coming to know so many of us who by getting access to information, and that psych-ed piece, I mean, that's something you are so good at is building like, here's the things that are helpful for you to know about your experience, about your body, about what to expect. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. I'm cognizant of time and I think the part on our agenda we maybe didn't hit was around the grieving process. And I know that you mentioned like, I think there were some collective rituals or practices that you felt were helpful or that were distinct as an autistic person. Do you want to share a little bit about the grieving process? KILEY HANISH: Well, okay, I think actually, for me, up until I started doing the retreats there was not a lot, you know? There was, basically, like, I didn't have any guidance. I mean, I don't know. And at that point, the Internet was, like, not really a thing. It was so long ago. And so I feel like my connection was very private and I connected, or my son appeared to me as a white butterfly. Like, I feel like the deceased of any kind can send us messages through animals, insects, things like that, or signs, different, you know. There's a great couple of books out there by a medium named Laura Lynn Jackson, The Light Between Us and Signs, and I just love it, just, basically, the veil between this world and the other world is very thin. And I think I've had a lot of like psychic abilities in terms of like being able to, like, because I'll hear… Everything with Return to Zero has been inspired by other. I'm a very, very left-brain person. So, this is not how I operate. However, it is very much nothing I ever would have thought I would do is like, I was being chosen to do this. And I know that sounds woo woo, but it's just the way it is. DR. MEGAN NEFF: I actually love it because I'm so similar to you. I'm so science-based, except when it comes to, like, collective energy, spirituality, and like I sometimes say I feel like a lot of autistic people would have been Shamans in a past life, like, in historic times, of like, I've definitely had moments of knowing when something is about to happen, or like, these spiritual experiences. I'm like, this does not fit within my scientific frame, but yes. So, I actually love that. And I know it sounds really woo woo too, so I often don't talk about it. And these are very real experiences I've had and I know a lot of autistic people have. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, and so I think, you know, I didn't really do a lot. It was through the retreats, through other people who were even more connected to the spirit, I would say, that the importance of bringing in ritual and collective ritual. And I think the biggest things we do are, we like light a candle, like, we have like a group circle, and we have like this, I'll say altar, but it's not just on the floor. And we have candles with every baby's name tied around the candle, and we light it every morning when we sit down, and we [CROSSTALK 00:49:36] candle, they say their baby's name. So, I like I'd say, "Norbert." And everyone else would say, "Norbert." And just like you don't ever get, if you named your baby, not all people do, but you don't ever get to hear their names spoken. And so it is really powerful. So, like that's something that we do as a group. We also allow people… we set up like a memorial table that people can bring things or pictures, whatever because that's also something that people don't always put out in their home, or they put it out, but it's in this, like, a more private space. I don't do a lot and I sometimes feel bad about it, right? But I know that that's just me. You know, I think like, green- DR. MEGAN NEFF: [CROSSTALK 00:50:29] oh, sorry. KILEY HANISH: No, like, right, there are societal expectations- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yes, yes. KILEY HANISH: …of grief and also gender expectations. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yes, yes. And especially, I think, for autistic women, those conflate because, especially, if we have alexithymia. Like, I definitely experienced that through my grief, specifically, around my pregnancy loss is I'm not doing this right, there's a right way to grieve this and I'm not doing it right. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, like, I never cry. Like, I mean, occasionally, but it is rare. And so like, after my loss, I didn't cry. My husband was way more emotional than I was. And I was just like, super stoic, and I go to these retreats. And the last retreat, I actually knew I was autistic. And so I said to everyone, I was really excited. I was like, "Hey, just to let you know, I'm autistic and I don't show a lot of emotion. So, it might look like I'm really stoic, but I do have a ton of emotion inside of me, it just doesn't show. And when I'm there, also, it takes a tremendous amount of concentration and energy to hold space." And like when Patrick talks about his retreats, I'm like, preaching to the choir. Like, I do this. Now I know when I have to go like, take a little sensory cocoon nap in the middle of like, in the afternoon, but the draining, like I am drained at least a week after. Like, I cannot schedule anything and then you're like, at what cost? But it is such a powerful experience. And it is such an honor to be with these women. It's so powerful. You can't even put words to it. And it drains the life out of me. So, it's very interesting, but it- DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. Well, and there's some interesting research that, like, we are more impacted by kind of the affect of people around us. We don't always know how to identify it, which actually makes it kind of more of a sensory load, but that we pick up energy tone a lot of us very sensitively. And again, that disconnect of like, maybe looking really flat, but being so deeply impacted by the emotional tone, I would think, especially, in grief spaces that's a complex autistic experience. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, I mean, I am hyper-empathic and hypersensitive to other people's energy. And that's also, like, I know, auditory is one of my big sensitivity areas, but energy, like literally, someone walks in the room, I can sense what's going on, even if I drive outside, and there's like, we had, like, a hurricane warning here a few weeks ago. And like, I wouldn't be here to put it together. But I went to the grocery store, and everyone was like, and I was like, "What the heck is going on?" Like, just superpowers, but it's hard to say what it is. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, okay, more about grieving. Like, I mean, I think that one big one is like not grieving as other people think you should be grieving. DR. MEGAN NEFF: I think that's a great global. Like, whether it's a death of a loved one, whether it is an identity shift. I think that's a really global, like, autistic experience of the way we grieve, especially, what people observe from the outside doesn't always match kind of the cultural expectations. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. And then I think there's also the false belief in, like, old grief culture, that like, oh, like, you get over your grief, you move on from your grief. And I feel like for me, and I think this is similar, like people are really great for about three weeks after something bad happens. And then they all continue to go on their life and your life it's like there's a before and an after, your life will never be the same. And you're just, like, standing there in shock, and you're like, "What the heck?" You're like, "My life, I can't go on." And so, it's this long, long process of integration and processing, and other people, like, "You look better or you seem better?" You know, things like that. And maybe even not to me, I don't know. But I hear this all the time. And you're like, well, this is complicated. And this just doesn't happen over a week or a month, like grieving is a lifetime, and it changes. And like, it's not linear at all. There's no stages. And it's like, back and forth, and up and down. And you and your partner are grieving on different timelines, and different, like phases. And it's messy. DR. MEGAN NEFF: It's so messy, it's so messy, especially, with yeah, the kind of co-grief, if someone has partnered, and then the timelines don't always, like, sync up. And that can create confusion and kind of disconnect. Yeah, yeah. I love how you were talking about grief of, I'll often talk about like, yeah, learning how to carry the grief well, but I love your language of integration. And that, yeah, this myth that it's like something we get over, and then move on from versus like, it becomes part of us and we live with that in an integrated way. That's like, yeah… KILEY HANISH: And I think for, like, anyone that dies, so in my case of my stillbirth, like, I still celebrate my son's birthday, he would have been 18 this past July, but people do that, that will be forever. But even with loved ones who die who are not babies, like you're going to remember their birthday. You might remember their death day. Like, those are days to like, whether you do something or not, it is a touch point, I think. But other people around you don't see that necessarily. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. They forget the touchpoints. And yeah, yeah, yeah. KILEY HANISH: You were going to say something but you probably forgot. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Well, it's like, it was in response to something you said like two comments ago. So, [CROSSTALK 00:57:44] connect now. I was just going to share I appreciate the wave metaphor of grief. That was, I was 18 when I first had my significant loss. My best friend in high school died of a brain tumor. And learning, like, I remember the first week or two it was just constant. And then I remember the very first time I forgot that David had died I was in a movie theater. And maybe I forgot for five minutes. And then it hit me like a wave. And that idea of, at first, like the wave, that it's like a tidal wave, it's constant. And then there might be some spacing out of the waves, but like, it can catch you off guard. Like, maybe it's been a stretch since there's been a wave, but there'll be some remembrance. And a wave can just kind of be like a sneaker wave and catch you off guard. But that imagery of waves was really helpful in my initial grief of, like, just understanding that this is a process. It ebbs and it flows, and there's some really heavy grief days and there's, like, lower impact days. KILEY HANISH: And I think, also, like one thing I experienced myself, but also hear a lot is, you know, you will over time have moments of respite from that intense grief. And hopefully, those moments get more often and longer. But there is this connection… like there is an attachment with you to your loss or your baby through the pain. And so you start feeling guilty if you don't feel the pain or you begin to feel moments of joy. And so teaching people that okay, we don't only have to connect through pain, we can also connect through joy or through other ways. Like, there's lots of ways to connect and so, you can let go of the pain and still remain connected. So, I thought that was like something else that I learned. DR. MEGAN NEFF: I love that because you're absolutely right, that can lead to complex grief. In the DSM, there's a diagnosis of complex grief, especially, when people kind of get stalled in the grief process. And I think it's part of that, of I don't want to release my pain because this is my attachment to that person. But I love your expansion of it, of there's so many ways that we can continue that attachment beyond pain. KILEY HANISH: Yeah. And so, like the term or a term or is continuing bonds. You can go out there and Google that. And the idea that, yes, there is a physical relationship that is not there, but there's other relationships that can continue. So, it's interesting. DR. MEGAN NEFF: I'm going to put a plug, I don't know what you think of this theory. But since you said continuing bonds, I'm going to put a plug out for Wordens for tasks of grieving, and much appreciate that to the stages of grieving. They're, like, active steps that a person takes in the process of grieving and they're nonlinear. So, there's four tasks, and the thought is like, you will be in one of these tasks, like, and you'll go back and forth. And it's a process, but one of them has to do with the continuing bonds. And I'll put a link in there, but that's another great... if someone is experiencing, especially, the loss of a loved one, I think Worden's tasks of grieving can provide a framework, which again, is helpful for autistic people to learn how to integrate that loss and live with it. KILEY HANISH: Well, I'll look it up. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. I'll send you a link. KILEY HANISH: I know we're sort of running short of time, I just have one other thing that I didn't really think about before that I think is important. So, right, as autistic people our friend circle can be small, very, very small. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yes. KILEY HANISH: And so I know that, like, we talk about, like in our relationships module, like with your partner, that your partner is also grieving, and you can't be the only support for each other. However, when you're autistic and you don't have a lot of other people to talk to that's really hard. And like, for years, the amount of therapists I tried to find that didn't understand my experience at all, you know, and so being really lonely. And it wasn't until I met other people who had been through this, that I was like, "Oh my gosh. Like, you get what I've been through." And it's the same as being autistic, but just like being with other people who've been through this type of loss and not having to explain yourself. Like, those are my closest relationships now, but it's lonely. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. I think after this episode record if you start an autistic pregnancy loss group, I think that would fill up really fast. KILEY HANISH: But the question is, do people know they're autistic? DR. MEGAN NEFF: Oh, probably not. Like, I definitely didn't when I was going through it. And I would imagine a lot of people even five, 10 years later, would still benefit actually, from- KILEY HANISH: Yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Because I do think that we perhaps are more prone to getting stalled in our grief process because of alexithymia, because of interoception, because of lack of community. So, I actually think people who have now since discovered they're autistic, even if this was 10 or 12 years ago, like would still benefit. KILEY HANISH: Interesting, yeah. DR. MEGAN NEFF: That's my hypothesis. KILEY HANISH: I don't know. I think like, if you suspect you're autistic, if you have a autistic child, or you're highly sensitive. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Because I think if you're highly sensitive person. KILEY HANISH: Because I'm attached to the highly sensitive person thing about like, five years ago, like that was my language. DR. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, like, that's the pathway for a lot of, especially, women, I notice, yeah. KILEY HANISH: Yeah, so, okay. That's all. I mean, we could keep on talking forever, but there's a lot of things in here. DR. MEGAN NEFF: There are so many interweaving themes, which is kind of what we do here. We try to create space for how complex these topics are. And I think we definitely did that today. There's a lot of interweaving pieces here between identity, autism, loss, grief, advocating the medical systems. There's a lot here, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for the generosity of your time. Like, I know you're wildly busy, but also just the generosity of sharing of yourself, and your experience, and of the community that you've built. It's interesting, this episode might be listened to less, because people will see the title and be like, "I don't relate to that." But I think the people that listen to this will be so deeply impacted because of what you said, of, there are so few spaces for autistic people to talk about this. And our worlds tend to be small. So, I think the impact of this episode for those who relate to this subject, I think, will be really incredible. So, thank you. KILEY HANISH: Thank you. Thank you for having me on. Like, I feel like I've been devouring your podcast. I've been like, I haven't done this so deep dive into your website because there's so much but just like I joined your membership just because I want to learn about myself. And it's just so amazing to find language, to feel validated. And that you both are so vulnerable and that it's hard to do that, I think. But like, what is most personal and intimate is really most universal and people identify. And I know that they're grateful. So, thank you. PATRICK CASALE: Thank you so much for coming on. Okay, well, awkward goodbye time. So, new episodes are out every single Friday on all major platforms and we will see you next week.

Wrench Jockey Radio
Talking with Miss 97 OBS

Wrench Jockey Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2023 49:13


On this episode of Wrench Jockey Radio, Goose and Dakota talk to an old friend that Goose knew from way back when he was in college. Breanna, aka Miss 97 OBS, comes onto the podcast to talk trucks and bullshit with the boys. Talking about her current truck build as wells as discussing her time spent learning in trade school, Breanna has lots to tell the crowd of listeners that tune in to lend an ear. We hope you have fun while you sit back relax (or grab a wrench and keep cussing at your project) as you learn more about Breanna and her story.

Sista Måltiden
#196 - Blame game (Gäst: Annika Strandhäll)

Sista Måltiden

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2023 61:19


Annika Strandhäll gästar gänget. Annika är riksdagsledamot för Socialdemokraterna och har tidigare tjänstgjort som chef för Socialdepartementet, socialförsäkringsminister och miljö- och klimatminister. Idag är hon ordförande för S-kvinnorna.OBS. Hela avsnittet är 2 tim 44 min långt. Vill du få tillgång till alla hela avsnitt? Bli medlem på Sista Måltiden.Som medlem får du tillgång till alla nya och gamla avsnitt i sin helhet. Lyssna i valfri podcast-app, inklusive Spotify. Enkelt att komma igång. Ingen bindningstid. Inga avbrott eller reklam. Tryck här för att bli medlem eller gå in på https://sistamaltiden.se. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.