Reddit Asks Us

So it turns out you can get a job by just walking in one day, sitting down at an empty desk and just pretending to work...cuz nobody is working there anyways...

Sorry guys my files got corrupted and I didnt have a backup for this weeks episode :(

Yea it turns out if you drive drunk in front of, well I don't know....WITNESSES...YOU WILL GET CAUGHT

I hate to break it to you Mike but everyone definitely remembers you stripping down to your tighty whiteys at the karaoke bar...on the bright side at least you won't have to work here anymore after your meeting with the boss!

No dude trust the more I watch this guy play blackjack online the higher my odds are of winning!!! You wouldn't know because you don't have any hobbies where you actually learn something and earn your way in life 

Hey man I'm new on the job so any work you do just let me take credit and we'll get along just great! Also I forgot to flush the toilet so could you go ahead and do that for me? 

Don't rock the boat by putting your elbows on the table?? Well sorry but we are about to experience a tsunami cause comfort MATTERS!

If anybody sees me driving this Prius I may have disappear forever…also do you think I'll get a lot of likes on this ab pic for my IG??

A restaurant?? Alone? By yourself?? What do you like good food or something you LOSER?! 

Hey son, I love you…but did you ever think about my life and your life by extension are worthless if you don't play the same sports as I did in high school? Good talk. 

Birds migrating at night? What do you think I'm that stupid?? Everyone knows birds can't fly at night so those obviously bats. Really big ones though. With beaks. Huh. See new things every day I guess….

Okay hear me out…I know this deserted island has food and water and all the things we need to survive for a while…but I think we should take our chances in the middle of the Pacific

Okay hear me out…I know this deserted island has food and water and all the things we need to survive for a while…but I think we should take our chances in the middle of the Pacific

Hey babe, we needed more drama this year so I told everyone you cheated on me but I forgave you...❤️

Not only have I lost my keys...but I lost my bowl that I'm supposed to keep my keys is...and everything else in my apartment. Yanno I may have just gotten robbed

Well it turns out Australia is the scariest country in the world…and chickens aren't pregnant when they lay eggs...

Being healthy? Living longer? No disease or pain? Sorry that's going to be one billion dollars…ooof sorry

I mean I've been sticking carrots directly in my eyes for years but as it turns out it always comes back to Big Carrot trying to push their agenda

No questions asked but I really need you to help me put in Rhinosaurus into this guy's car...trust me it's for the greater good of society and because I want to

No trust me bro *insert any streamer* knows a lot about crypto!! You'd be absolutely stupid not to invest!! I literally mortgaged my house because they told me it was a LOCK!!

Well sorry officer I personally believe it's my god given right to walk around with this double bubble ice cream in my pocket…if you want it you're gonna have to lick it off me yourself!

"I've asked you out like 12 times...so is this time a yes??" "And no princesses aren't allowed to have drivers licenses...or cars...or anything really...but it's because I'm a KING!"

Unfortunately Superman physics don't actually work and we cant build a "time machine" by "spinning the globe backwards" but I appreciate the enthusiasm :)

Smiling to yourself alone isn't going to start your journey into becoming the Joker...unless you're like me and starting talking to yourself and eventually scheming and plotting

Not every man will speak with his words…sometimes its with his clothing, like not wearing any around the house…cuz damn its gettin hot down there

Get off my back mom and dad! Weed is a great investment!! Well…an investment in my sanity! How am I supposed to put a job application together when you're stressing me outtttt…its literally my 45th birthday 

Yeaaa so turns out sleeping with my friends boyfriend isn't going to ‘strengthen our relationship' like I thought it would….oops! Also we have a date tomorrow so if you could not be in your house the would be great!

Yea I actually don't bathe because its such a waste of water and resources...I also don't wash my clothes either because duuuuh waste of water AGAIN!!

Yea actually company policy says I'm actually allowed to care for my children so sorry that doesn't fit into your schedule :( I filed complaint on your behalf to HR tho!

Yeaa so who would've thought it wasn't a good idea to control a submarine with a PS5 controller…also didn't think id have to tell you but please don't take that nuclear waste home with you :)

I know you think I'm doing drugs, but even if you shoot that directly into your veins you'll realize it's dust from a T-Rex fossil...also I will be cleaning my own towels now.

I'm not supposed to tell anyone but Iron Man is a true story…based on my dad…he said he will disintegrate bullies for me…also don't eat in bed or ants are going to live in your ears and nest in your brain :) luv u 

Babe it's actually awesome, the cockroaches have learned to carry us around the apartment! No more walking!! And don't worry every time you show up the dishes get done! Not sure who it is but it makes it perfect for when you're here spending quality time :))

Listen...microwave popcorn every night for dinner might be the move, also next time we are at the bar let's be sure to find the bathroom and talk right in front of the door so people have to sneak by and say "excuse me" to get in...and let's also give them dirty looks for doing that!!

I promise I just barely glanced down at my phone when driving and hit that pedestrian, everyone knows a glance doesn't count! And let the record show I was also hardly even drunk!!

If you don't set aside at least a thousand per month for DOGE then you don't deserve to eat. Time to be smarter with your money, just invest when your parents friends at all street tell you to!!Join our subreddit r/Redditaksus

Hey guys! As I'm sure you can tell by the recording I'm feeling quite ill so I can't record an episode until I'm feeling better. Take care!Love you all ❤️

My buddy is great guy! Other than the fact he thinks all women are worthless. But other than that he s'a stand up dude! He also collects hair and will only stare at your toes on dates, so just prepping you in case you notice your haircut looks different! Join our subreddit r/Redditaksus

Did your dad ever stop to think about the productivity scores at the office before his stroke?? Also, take some time to look at the email I sent regarded by failed almost engagement! Plus, why are we all talking about Lisa's dead baby when mine is alive!

If their back is turned towards the door, you won't be leaving that elevator…also please keep off the grass I have to vacuum it again later! Also don't mind me, I just HAVE to get this hole dug by 4AMIn this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What's something that's completely legal but still makes you look like a total psychopath?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

Vegas is going be so CRAZY we are hitting up a WINE TASTING! But. Before we do that I am going to cheat on my husband overseas. Who knows? Maybe I'll also be convicted of a crime against humanity??In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “Folk who did something in Vegas that did not stay in Vegas, what happened?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

Ahhh how sweet promotion is...I'm getting you arrested for tax fraud boss. Mean girl wants to come to my birthday party? Sure. But I get first punch in the children's octagon. Also remember if you are less than 1 foot apart you can legally kiss your brosIn this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What's your "if you go low I'll go lower" moment?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

Trust me if you listen close enough you can hear the footsteps of people through the EARTH!! Play sports you enjoy because you'll eventually transform into the ball! Also vegetables are not actually healthy, they are just there for earth aesthetic In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What's the stupidest thing the most intelligent person in your life believes?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

Yea Jacob is never going to find out what I did to his toilet :| and unfortunately I accidentally turned your grandma into funko pop…sowwy :((In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What's the worst fuck up you've had that you'll admit on your deathbed?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

The only way to know if your oxygen tank is working is to hook it up to a carton of cigarettes! Did you know that you can even choose condiments as your side drink in your next meal from McDonalds! Also remember children need their daily doses of caffeine directly injected into their bloodstream In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What's the most unhealthy thing you've seen a human do?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

I can't believe I have to say this but geese and monkeys are not your friends! Also, don't steal from baseball pitchers because you will feel it…in your headIn this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What's the worst case of "fuck around, find out" you have ever seen?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

No your wifi doesn't follow you around. Also, no wind is not the trees just trying to rizz up the ground and finally the government is not stealing your data, you just forgot your phone password. In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What was your"I can't believe I have to explain this to an adult" moment?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

I have a no music or podcast policy in drives longer than 2 hours. Having wet feet is actually healthy for you! I love having animals around, that why I taxidermic my past 17 pets!In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What mundane activities are you convinced are a sign of a serial killer or psychopath?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

No it's totally cool I don't even drink coffee at work! No I absolutely would love your leftovers from the group BBQ!   No trust me I didn't even want to be in the photo anyways!In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What are examples of 'being picked last in gym class' as an adult?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

You mean we stopped giving away free meat because I was selling the rotten stuff in the back alley? What do you mean no more corporate credit cards?? I needed a spray tan for this meeting!!In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What was ruined for everyone by one person being an idiot?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes

Don't you miss the cigarette haze? Or if I wrote your number down wrong I would never see you again? Or maybe learning the cure for depression is just taking a nice hike? In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “Everyone always talks about how good the 90's were. What was bad about the 90's?”New episodes every Tuesday @8 AST Follow @redditasksuspodcast on instagram and Tik Tok to watch clips, receive updates on guests and new episodes