Podcasts about joking

The After Party Merch store is now open! Check out afterpartyinc.com. On this episode we feature the return of Kayla and Tori comes on for some redemption! We talk exes, crazy R&B brunch stories and answer some horny questions you wouldn't believe the answers to! Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty Watch the full video and listen to the episode on all platforms and head over to our instagram @ AaronScenesAfterParty

Joking about pride ended up leading us to an organic conversation about the meaning of scripture and where the line is on being able to choose it's meaning. While there are a lot of misused verses, there is also room for a different application of the same scripture in our own life. 

Stuart Laws is a comedian, actor, writer, producer, editor and director. He performs sketch comedy and stand-up comedy. He supported James Acaster on his UK tours and has appeared on and written for Radio 4, has two specials on NextUp Comedy, one on American label 800 Pound Gorilla Media, and has written a play The Journey, that debuted at The Edinburgh Fringe at The Pleasance in 2018. In 2021, he was nominated for Leicester Comedy Festival Best Show and in 2022 he was nominated for Comedians Choice Best Show. In 2023, his Fringe show was awarded 4.5 stars by Chortle. ​Stuart runs his own production company, Turtle Canyon Comedy, and writes and directs sketch shows, sitcoms, live shows and specials that have been shown on Netflix, Prime, BBC, Sky, ITV, Channel 4 and more. Stuart has directed Sindhu Vee, Nish Kumar, Rosie Jones, Suzi Ruffell, Paul Foot, Ivo Graham, Jess Fostekew, Jen Brister and Ian Smith's Specials. Stuart had a breakout year at Edinburgh Fringe 2024 for review with 9 x 4-star reviews and a British Comedy Guide Recommendation. Stuart was featured in The Scotsman, The Guardian, the I newspaper, 5 live and in the Times and the Telegraph best jokes of the Fringe selections. Stuart's most recent directing project is James Acaster's ‘Hecklers Welcome', Acaster's first HBO Special. His latest special, ‘Stuart Laws, Is That Guy Still Going?' Is now available on YouTube under 800 pound gorilla (links below). Comedy shows – Stuart Laws has to be Joking?: Everyone's dealt with it: first, a bad breakup; then, become a puffin island caretaker; suddenly, you're implicated in a puffin murder. A classic. You know how it goes. A vibe shift for acclaimed comedian Stuart Laws. ****½ (Chortle.co.uk). Stand-up comedy/theatre hybrid. Praise for his previous theatrical work: 'I left this show with the chills and feeling just a bit shaken' (MumbleTheatre.uk). 'It is really smart stuff, elegantly exposing hypocrisy' (Stage). 'Fantastically funny' (EdFestMag.com). 'One of the most skilled and likeable comics... a deliciously joke-dense show' (Scotsman). We chat about Michael Caine's iconic delivery of the line ‘Never' and making a show about it, directing and producing, his new Edinburgh shows, authenticity and real self, almost quitting comedy, flow state, being good at comedy, saying no, posting quality plus plenty more! Check Stuart out on: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stuartlawscomedy/ Comedy Special: https://800pgr.lnk.to/thatguy?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaeMNrDccTIlOuMFvbbVBvalQL4Dp6yMwvA8t0TklzMLkY89HvRCdrwyOLpkSQ_aem_S4AT3qIopeJHSO5szqwoCQ   Tickets: https://linktr.ee/stuartlawscomedy?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAacaAgRfREt9v53YRPXM9SfwuD64zafU06nEfaN9iKjqQuz--Nm-SOz1Kbizhg_aem_Mi6Sbw1Foi1AZrkeIQictA Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC97T7gP1Ai1z19MR3-S40vw Website: https://www.stuartlaws.com/ ------------------------------------------- Follow @Funny in Failure on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/funnyinfailure/ https://www.facebook.com/funnyinfailure/ and @Michael_Kahan on Insta & Twitter to keep up to date with the latest info. https://www.instagram.com/michael_kahan/ https://twitter.com/Michael_Kahan

It's Free Game Friday on The Coach JB Show with Big Smitty as 10 Year NFL Veteran LB Ben Leber joins the show to talk Minnesota Vikings Football and more! Former NFL TE Ed Smith joins the show to talk Michael Penix & Atlanta Falcons! Join us for this Free Game Friday on The REALEST Show on Planet ERF! Like, Comment, and Subscribe! The Coach JB Show with Big Smitty is the realest sports show on Planet ERF! We discuss what other talk shows & debate shows refuse to discuss! We are LIVE 3 hours a day from 6-9am pacific with the realest guests on Planet ERF! Coach Jason Brown is the star of the hit Netflix series "Last Chance U", master motivator, and legendary JUCO football coach!! Darnell Smith Fox Sports very own, Ball State Alum, and Nap towns finest! Merciless Monday | Talk that Talk Tuesday | Work-Boot Wednesday | Truth Telling Thursday's | Free Game Friday Matt McChesney on Monday/Friday Steve Kim on Tuesday/Thursday Shaun King - Former NFL QB Monday/Wednesday/Friday Live M-F 6am-9am PST. Subscribe and become a member today, $2.99 for general membership or $5.99 to join Slap Nation and get access to the exclusive Coach's Crew group Chat!!

The After Party Merch store is now open! Check out afterpartyinc.com. Its another episode of the After Party and on this one we bring on Devante who spills some tea on the podcast! From toxic times with his ex, to some nightlife tea and even him getting ran over, we got enough tea on this one for you. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

Join my next live Reclaimed Masterclass: The 7 Identity Shifts every woman must walk through to go from stuck wife to liberated, Woman of Power: https://leanneoaten.com/reclaimedclass Enroll End The Cycle: https://leanneoaten.com/etcenrollment Enroll in She's Moving On: leanneoaten.com/movingon Apply for 1:1 Coaching: leanneoaten.com/coaching ____________________________________________________ Connect with Leanne on Social Media:    Instagram: www.instagram.com/awakeningwomenofficial/  Facebook: www.facebook.com/awakeningwomenofficial/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/theevolvedfeminine Leanne Oaten is a former Registered Professional Counsellor with a background in Counselling Psychology and has over 13 years of experience counselling and coaching women. Over the past 6+ years, she has focused her expertise on educating and helping women identify narcissistic abuse break free from destructive relationships, and transform their lives on the other side of divorce. Her mission is helping successful career-driven, entrepreneurial women and moms who want to reach new levels in their income, success, and health but their destructive, high-conflict relationship is holding them back. She works with powerhouse women who are ready to transform their lives on the other side of narcissistic abuse and turn their pain into power to create a new sense of purpose and fulfillment in their new chapter.  You can find out more about her and her offerings at leanneoaten.com

The After Party Merch store is now open! Check out afterpartyinc.com. The After Party is back! And for this episode we bring on El Paso's finest swingers Jasmine and Javi. They come on and tell us about how they got into the adult industry plus they share some of their favorite and some of their least favorite swinger stories. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty Watch the full video and listen to the episode on all platforms and head over to our instagram @ AaronScenesAfterParty

Ben Maller talks about the NFL's punishment of Falcons DC Jeff Ulbrich for the prank phone call to Shedeur Sanders during the draft and how the NFL SHOULD have handled it, Henry Ruggs hoping to get another shot in the NFL after getting out of prison, #AskBen, and more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Humour in Islam Our messenger ﷺ had the title: ‘al-Dahook' - meaning ‘the cheerful'. He ﷺ is called this in the Torah. He ﷺ would lighten up any situation, bringing a smile to one's face no matter what one was previously lost in. Our messenger ﷺ had humour, and used it perfectly, as he himself is. Umm Ayman (رضي الله عنها) once requested a mount. Our messenger ﷺ said: “I will give you an offspring of a she-camel”. Umm Ayman رضي الله عنها was confused and said: “How can an infant camel support me?”. The messenger ﷺ said again: “I will give you an offspring of a she-camel”. When the time came, he ﷺ gave her a healthy beautiful camel - to her surprise. The joke was that all camels are offspring's of she camels - umm ayman assumed it was an infant! Such the is humour of our messenger ﷺ. Humour amongst the Salaf: Ibraaheem Ibn Adham (r.h) said: “A believer, complete with iman, could shake mount Abu Qubais if he wanted to”. He had a friend with him called Abu Qubais (r.h), and he started to shake jokingly! Ibraaheem r.h humorously replied: “Be still, I didn't mean you”. It is crucial to understand: one mustn't joke in plethora. Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen (r.h) advised: “Joking is like salt in food - too less the food is bland. Too much it cannot be eaten”. One must be truthful in his jokes and must read the situation before he speaks - thus adhering to the sunnah.

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Amy interviews her pregnant classmates for the school paper.Based on a post by shimm2, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. It was a Friday night with nothing else going on, and Amy was hanging out at her friend Jill's house."Now that we're in the home stretch here, we should let loose a little," Amy said. They were both admitted to college, and sure to graduate high school."You mean like have affairs with older Casanova's?" Jill teased.Amy laughed. Jill knew that Alonso, who had been her Spanish tutor, had become something more. Amy told Jill one version of it, anyway."I meant maybe we should raid your dad's liquor cabinet," Amy said."I can't," Jill said quickly.When she didn't elaborate, Amy asked, "Not in the mood for a drink?"A longer pause. Then Jill explained quietly, "I'm pregnant.""What?" Amy's world came to a screeching halt.Sure, this kind of thing happened to other girls sometimes, but that was other girls. Not girls like Amy. She'd had it drilled into her all her life that there was a narrow path to success in this world, and not a lot of room for error. And a teenage pregnancy would definitely count as an error. And an unforced error at that. It wasn't that Amy was ashamed of sex or didn't enjoy it herself, but;"All you had to do is take precautions," Amy said. "It's so simple. How could you?"Jill was supposed to be one of the good ones, like her. Sure, she'd been hooking up with Dave, but how could she be so stupid? Amy felt dizzy and nauseous herself."What the fuck?" Amy said, finding herself shouting."'What the fuck' is right," Jill said, blinking away tears. "I know it's a surprise, but this isn't something happening to you.""Not happening to me? I'm losing my best friend!" Amy said, getting up off the floor. She couldn't sit still, not while this was happening."Maybe you are," Jill said. "I; I think you should go."Amy rushed out, not because she needed permission or needed to be told, but because she didn't know how to handle this.It was a mile walk home, which helped her unwind, but didn't really clear her head. If Jill was going to get an abortion, then maybe it wasn't that big a deal. But if she wasn't willing to drink, that meant she had other plans. Plans she must have been hiding from her. Amy wondered how long this situation had already been going on. How long Jill had kept it a secret from her already. She didn't think Jill looked pregnant yet, but now she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure of anything. It had rattled her whole worldview.When she went to school the next day, and it seemed like pregnancy was everywhere she looked. There were a couple girls with rounded bellies that stood out in the hallway. For girls that had already given birth, there was even a lactation room for them to use, repurposed from a supply closet. She saw a couple girls queuing outside it, waiting for their turn.She had kind of taken it for granted that this kind of thing happened. But now it was hitting close to home, and it seemed almost like an epidemic that was catching. Amy had heard of "baby fever" where spending time around pregnant women made you more fertile. She started to fear that at some point the school as a whole would reach a tipping point, where there'd be no stopping the trend."What's your next story going to be?" Barb, the head of the school paper asked her, in school the next day. "Amy?""Oh. Right," Amy said, trying to refocus. "Have any of you noticed how many girls in our school get pregnant?""Sure," her classmate Bill said. "It happens, and we're a large school with a slightly higher than average rate of teen pregnancy, so there's definitely a few around.""I; I just don't understand it," Amy said with frustration. She felt guilty about how she reacted to Jill's news, but Jill was avoiding her today, and Amy wasn't ready to make up yet. She realized she needed to work on herself first. "Like, how could you let that happen to you?""Not everyone 'lets it happen'," Maria said across the table."I know that rape is a problem, but most of the pregnancies around here aren't from that, or we'd see more boys getting charged.""You can't know that for sure," Maria said. "It often goes unreported.""I don't think it's as simple as you think," Bill said."Well I think it is," Amy said, trying not to get too wound up. "So I want to understand why it happens. I'm thinking, an interview series with girls who are pregnant or have been in the past."Bard said, "Okay. It's a touchy subject, so tread carefully. I look forward to reading your piece when it's done."After school, Amy went over to Alonso's house. He had been tutoring her in Spanish, up until she aced the AP exam and then finally gave herself permission to kiss him. That ended their tutoring relationship, and started the relationship they had now.He answered the door in a bathrobe, and brought her in quickly. She'd been eighteen when they first kissed, but he was still self-conscious about being seen with her. And it wasn't like Amy was going to introduce him to her mother or anything. What they had was raw and physical. Except for the "raw" part.In his bedroom, she took off her shirt, and he embraced her from behind, kissing her on the back of her neck as his hands reached around for her breasts. It made her breath catch every time.He undid her pants as she leaned back, melting into him. She could feel his cock pressing against her from behind. She climbed onto the bed and paused on all fours, and asked, "Is this how you want me?""No foreplay?" he asked."I'm in a wild mood today," she said."Training wheels on or off?" he asked.She reached down and fished a twenty dollar bill out of her pocket, and put it on the nightstand. This was part of their arrangement from the start.He knew she was a virgin while he was; the exact opposite. He considered sex with a condom to be just practice for the real thing. And while he had enjoyed tutoring her, he wasn't going to tutor her for free. So when she wanted him to use a condom, she had to pay. She could hardly complain about the education he was giving her, but it was becoming harder to find the money.Now when she felt him pressing into her from behind, she asked to double check, "Is it on?"Alonso chuckled softly to himself. "Let's consider this a teachable moment. I want you to focus on how it feels, and see if you can tell for yourself."After all thinking about Jill and seeing all the other pregnant girls at school that day, and thinking about her assignment, Amy wanted to be certain. She resented being denied that, but for the moment she played along.She focused on where they were in contact, his flared cock head pressing into the opening of her vagina. Even just that little bit of him was an intense pressure inside of her; sometimes she couldn't take the full length of him. It felt so, so good, and made her hunger to feel him push deeper into her. Of course that would be a mistake if he wasn't wearing protection. She wanted to push her hips back against him; it took all her resolve not to. Not yet. But even when she tried to analyze everything she was feeling down there, she couldn't tell. It felt like it always did, although concentrating on it made it more intense.Would he really penetrate her bareback? She didn't think so, not when she was paying him, but she couldn't be entirely sure. Guys pulled this kind of trick all the time, and she couldn't count on Alonso being better than them. Which meant that even this contact of his tip to her hole was dangerous. Her heart was starting to race."I don't know, okay?" she said, feeling defeated and inadequate."It's okay," he said soothingly. "You don't have any basis of comparison. Someday you will. We can try that whenever you're ready."She didn't like the fact that she couldn't tell. It worried her, even now, that he could slip it off and she might not even know."Okay," she said. "Show me."She felt feverish and tense. She almost jumped when she felt him nudge against her again. Just the tip, barely inside of her, and he stopped there, letting her feel it.He felt bigger, if she wasn't fooling herself. And the friction between them was; different. She could feel more of the flare of his cock's head."More," she said.He slid more of his shaft into her. She was incredibly wet, fitting him in more easily than usual, even though he definitely felt bigger without a condom on. And then he stopped there, letting her savor the sensations. This was different, and she was relieved that she could tell the difference so clearly. Even so, it made her aware of what she'd been missing out on all this time. She knew she was lucky he wasn't actively fucking her, because she wasn't sure she'd want to stop.His cock pulsed inside her, and Amy recognized that. Whenever she was sucking or jacking him off, his cock would do that sometimes, and a drip of precum would glide down from the top. Feeling that happen inside her was a reminder that this wasn't safe. She had already gotten carried away, but she had to stop it there. She pulled away, and even the feeling of his shaft on its way out of her was delicious."You want the condom back on?" he asked. "Or another blind test?""Back on, please," she said, desperate now for relief.When he slid into her again, she could tell he had the condom on again. It paled in comparison, but for better or worse, it got her mind off the risks involved. Though as they fucked, she kept thinking with disbelief that she'd actually let him put it in her bare. What if that was all it took?She was worked up already, and fast approaching her climax. But Alonso reached his first, maybe worked up by their little transgression. Amy could feel it when he filled up the reservoir tip inside her; she wondered how that part would feel without the condom, but that would definitely be going too far. A surefire recipe for baby batter.Knowing she was close, he kept thrusting into her, and she didn't want to stop, but she kept thinking about what would happen if the condom slipped off now. If that happened, it would be too late by the time either of them realized what happened."I can't. I can't," she said, pulling herself off his cock. To her relief, the condom was still on and still holding all of his load, as far as she could tell anyway."Not a problem," he said. "You lie down, I'll take care of the rest."He spread her legs and brought his mouth to her crotch. Soon she writhed and whimpered, but it was bittersweet. It wasn't the kind of climax she wanted most."Do you want to talk about it?" he asked afterwards. "Why you're so paranoid about this today?"She explained about Jill, and her story for the paper, and all the other pregnant girls, and how she worried it might be catching, but also saw no excuse for not taking simple precautions."So what?" Alonso said. "Women get pregnant all the time. It's not right or wrong. It's a natural process. It just happens sometimes.""Well, not to me, if I can help it," she said. Alonso laughed at that. "What's so funny?""It's just," he gestured to her form, up and down. "Look at you. Thick thighs. Wide hips. Plump breasts. You're built for it. It's going to happen, sooner or later."The way he was looking at her made her feel sexy, but what he was saying scared her. And she worried he might get carried away if they continued down this train of thought. They both might get carried away."I've got to go," she said, getting dressed."Don't be ashamed. It's what I'm attracted to," he said.At lunch the next day, Amy sat down next to Helen, who was gorging herself on peanut butter. Helen's dowdy clothes did little to hide the almost spherical bulge underneath."It's Helen, right?" Amy said. "I'm doing a story on the teen moms in our school. I wondered if you might share how you ended up; uh; pregnant." It sounded more awkward out loud."Glad to talk about it!" Helen said. "I'm just so proud to be bringing this little one into the world. It's the best thing I've ever done."Her attitude was utterly foreign to Amy. "So you got pregnant on purpose?""Well of course! I would only ever have sex for the sake of procreation," Helen said. "The only sin involved here is that Zeke and I consummated our marriage a little early.""Oh, congratulations! When did you get engaged?" Amy asked.She was getting the sense that this conversation wasn't going to do anything to help her understand what goes into an accidental pregnancy, and thought Helen wouldn't want to get into the juicy details anyway.Helen blushed. "Funny story, we did get engaged before we conceived, but; well; it was a matter of seconds."Her words painted a clear picture in Amy's mind. Helen and Zeke, conjoined and about to knowingly make a baby, and committing to marriage in that moment. She couldn't picture herself doing that, but it did have a certain allure. Maybe someday, with the right guy.That Friday, Amy turned her room upside down looking for cash. She had to have a twenty here somewhere. She couldn't be dead broke, could she? She couldn't keep asking her mom for cash without explaining where it was going. Otherwise maybe it was time to get a job. But not in time to meet up with Alonso that afternoon.As she went to Alonso's place, she reasoned that there were plenty of other things they could do, rather than risk it. But even after he ate her out, she found herself wanting more."Come on, can't we just skip the twenty dollars?" she asked. "Or you could spot me. I'll have it soon."He ran a finger close to her nipple, keeping her aroused. "If you go into debt with me, the conditions might be more than you're expecting."He was right. The glint in his eye made it clear that he would use her how he wanted if she gave him that opportunity. And then all her money spent on condoms would be effectively down the drain. It scared her, but she also felt her hips shift of their own accord, eager for that punishment."How about this. We could play a round of roulette for free. Fifty-fifty odds. What do you think?"Oh god, he had her on edge, and he was asking her to leave her fate entirely to chance. Better than nothing, she supposed. She felt her pussy becoming absolutely soaked."You know that letting you ejaculate inside me is something I can't afford. That would cost me a lot more than twenty dollars.""What do you mean, 'let me'? When I ejaculate inside you, it'll be your choice as much as mine."There was a lot to unpack there. 'When'? Like it was inevitably going to happen? And Amy wasn't so sure it'd be intentional. It could be accidental for them both.He got up and handed her a blindfold. Funny, how he had that handy. "We can stop whenever you want."So she could take the fifty-fifty odds, and if she could tell that he wasn't wearing a condom, she could call it off."Fine, I'll play your game," she said, tying on the blindfold. "Will you warn me when you're about to cum?""That would be cheating, would it not?" he replied. "Trust your instincts. You know what my tells are by now."Lying on her back on the bed, she heard a coin flip, and if he was tearing open a condom wrapper, she didn't hear him do it. Soon she felt the bed shift as he joined her on it, and she reached out, finding him by touch. It was a new thrill, discovering the shape of his body all over again like this.He kissed her shoulder, her collarbone. It was like he was everywhere at once, she couldn't predict where he'd kiss her next. The heat was radiating from him as he loomed over her, close enough that she could feel the thin line of hair down past his belly button. And then there was the pressure, aimed perfectly true, pressing her open for him.As he crossed that threshold again, she remembered what it felt like before, both of the ways it felt, and she was pretty sure this time he was wearing a condom. He pressed into her depths, to where she had to stretch to accommodate him. The air left her lungs and she felt like she was never going to get it back."Mm, I can't believe we waited this long to do it this way," he muttered in her ear. She could hear the smile."You mean blindfolded?" she asked."I mean raw. Unprotected. I always knew it was going to happen eventually," he said.Her rational mind was repulsed at the thought, and all that came along with it. But it also gave her an unexpected thrill. But; he had to be psyching her out, right? She was pretty sure he was wearing protection; unless that was just wishful thinking."Hang on," she said, and he stopped thrusting into her, but he was still there, tantalizing her. "You are wearing a condom, right?"Inside her, his cock spasmed as if in response. It would be weeping precum, which could be carrying a few of his sperm."Amy, I can't tell you that," he said.She was almost sure she could feel the ring of latex at the bottom of the condom. Almost."I know you are. I guessed correctly, so now there's no harm in confirming it," she said."Oh? That's your guess?" he asked. "We can stop anytime you like. Heck, you can take off the blindfold anytime you like. Either way, it's game over.""Come on, that's not fair," she said."Fair? I've played by your rules for months. This is a compromise," he said.If he wasn't playing by her rules, did that mean he was breaking them? He started moving in her again, and it was a struggle to hang on to conscious thought."But you're trying to get me to believe you're not wearing a condom right now. If I that's true, we have to stop. Are you trying to convince me to stop?""No, I want you to be honest with yourself when you decide not to. Someday soon you're going to willingly give up your silly little precautions and accept the inevitable. You're going to get yourself knocked up, and you're going to know exactly what you're doing when you do it.""No; " she objected, but his words, combined with his cock probing her depths, his entire body wrapped around hers, teasing her with every touch, all of that screamed otherwise. He had to be wrong about her, she thought. She just wasn't sure how to prove that, when she was arching her back into his embrace, gasping in his ear.When she said no, he stopped moving, but that wasn't what she meant or what she wanted. "Don't stop!" she pleaded. She was so close.He didn't tell her he was cumming, but he was right that she could tell when it was about to happen. He pushed harder into her. She wondered, if she were smaller or less sturdy, whether she might break under the strain. She could feel the muscles in his arms tensing. He swelled up inside her, and she prayed that she was right about there being a condom between them.Then after one more long pulse, their bodies as tightly coupled as they could physically be, she felt the warmth of his ejaculate. When it stayed put and didn't spread, she felt a conflicted twinge of disappointment and relief. No catastrophe today. But it was still enough to push her over the edge. Her orgasm rolled through her hard enough that she wondered if her vaginal muscles might pull the condom right off him anyhow, the way they clenched down on him.The next week, Amy managed to track down Carmen for her interview series. Carmen wasn't so far along, but everybody knew she was pregnant, for now at least."First question. Are you planning to carry it to term?" Amy asked, getting her laptop out."Hm, I don't know yet, to be honest. It would have been simpler to get an abortion earlier on, but; maybe this is weird; it's been kind of a turn on." She rubbed her belly suggestively.Carmen was a thin, with a pixie-ish bowl cut of fading green hair. Amy wondered if Carmen was flirting with her, not that she was interested."So you might keep it?""Yeah, maybe. It's not that big a deal. I could put the baby up for adoption if I have to. But also, like, I've got a support network. It'll be fine."Carmen seemed so unconcerned about her impending parenthood, that Amy was starting to feel stressed on her behalf."So how did it happen?""What, do you need a biology lesson?" Carmen said. "Joking. I've always been turned on by the feeling of a guy cumming inside me. I mean it's physically intense, like it really does the trick for me, but also, like, it's physical proof that he's climaxing, and that it was me who brought him to orgasm. And that is just the hottest thing, when I'm cumming right along with him. You know?"Amy glanced around to make sure they were alone within earshot. She couldn't believe Carmen was talking about this so explicitly, but it just seemed to be who she was."No, I, " She caught herself before admitting to this girl that she had never had a man cum inside her before. But Carmen carried on, not noticing."And then, whenever there was a risk of pregnancy, past tense now, you see, that was even more intense. When he's releasing his sperm inside you, and you know those sperm could get you pregnant, and you feel it happen, knowing you might get pregnant from it, and you want it, oh my god, it's the most. It makes me have the hugest multiple orgasms ever. Like almost to the point of blacking out."Despite herself, Amy was getting wet in her chair. She was suddenly having a lot of ideas that hadn't seemed like good ideas a minute ago. She wanted to go to Alonso and tear his clothes off and have raw, animalistic, but told herself she was just sympathetic to Carmen's story. These weren't her own attitudes towards pregnancy risk and cream pies. Her porn viewing tended to skew that way, but that was different. This was the real world, where those things were for people other than her. People who made life-changing mistakes."Sorry, you were asking when it happened?" Carmen said. "Okay, so I know the weekend that it happened, but; I couldn't tell you exactly which time it happened or whose baby it is, because we had a lot of fun that weekend. It's okay though, because the two guys at the cabin were cousins, so it's basically the same genes either way.""Oh my god," Amy said without thinking."I know, right?" Carmen said. "And now I'll always have a memento from that experience."Amy typed up her notes afterward, because she was too distracted during the interview itself to write anything down.She didn't know where this story was heading. She went into it expecting cautionary tales, but she'd talked to a Christian fundamentalist and a Satanist nymphomaniac, and both of them had embraced motherhood knowingly and willingly.It almost made Amy start to feel like the weird one, for being so decidedly against reproducing, and being so careful to avoid it. And yet, when Carmen talked about the things that turned her on, it resonated with something in her too.To be continued in part 2, based on a post by shimm2 for Literotica.

Daily Dad Jokes (20 Apr 2025)The official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast electronic button now available on Amazon. The perfect gift for dad! Click here here to view!Email Newsletter: Looking for more dad joke humour to share? Then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly round-up of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs, and groans, and sign up today! Click here to subscribe!Listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast here: https://dailydadjokespodcast.com/ or search "Daily Dad Jokes" in your podcast app.Interested in Business and Finance news? Then listen to our sister show: The Daily Business and Finance Show. Check out the website here or search "Daily Business and Finance Show" in your podcast app.Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.Joke credits: Fourwindsgone, Sweet_molly19, Jesse_Bitchman, Healthy_Ladder_6198, DrHoleStuffer, TnBluesman, emmdieh, TooOldToBePunk, Physical-Diamond-824, PersonWalker, Dyrogitory, harryharhar9, , Yokelele, jstein916, Dashover, Yokelele, tlk0153, goodcyrusSubscribe to this podcast via:iHeartMediaSpotifyiTunesGoogle PodcastsYouTube ChannelSocial media:InstagramFacebookTwitterTikTokDiscordInterested in advertising or sponsoring our show? Contact us at mediasales@klassicstudios.comProduced by Klassic Studios using AutoGen Podcast technology (http://klassicstudios.com/autogen-podcasts/)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Listen to all my reddit storytime episodes in the background in this easy playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_wX8l9EBnOM303JyilY8TTSrLz2e2kRGWatch my videos in full on my YouTube channel (you even get to see my face!): https://www.youtube.com/Redditor This is the Redditor podcast! Here you will find all of Redditor's best Reddit stories from his YouTube channel. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For episode 82 of "Hot Takes", the bois decided to bring another act from the vaporwave zero genre to the broadcast! Skilled breaks-influenced vaporwave producer and 1/2 of VaporVA alongside Roge Corp, V4NGOE is known for being a pioneer of a subset of vaporwave that is more vocal-driven and influenced by breaks and 90's R&B than your typical slowed and reverb fare. He helped drive the growth of that new sound alongside acts like Ahero, Satin Sheets, and Simple Syrup; he and Roge Corp together threw a blockbuster show called i2K in Richmond, Virginia in Summer 2024; and he's just an absolute sweetie pie. Noteworthy moments include Vincent's game plan for how to treat acts that he books and how to network with other artists in addition to his experiences discovering acts that were seminal to him like George Clanton, Nmesh, and Windows 96. Joking around about Christian rock and reminiscing about the George Clanton fanclub and the Big Stream during the pandemic era also happened during our two hours with V4NGOE! How many chances do you give an album before you decide if you like it or dislike it? What beverages does Shiro drink while he's dieting? Is OSCOB truly the laziest vaporwave producer of all time? Only one way to find out and that's by listening to "Hot Takes"!   "Hot Takes" is a safe space for all opinions! Join the conversation at https://linktr.ee/hottakesvapor

The After Party Merch store is now open! Check out afterpartyinc.com. Krystal steps into the After Party party and tells us about her double life! (She's a barber and bartender) plus she shares some party stories from back in the day, the first time she got cheated on and how she came up in the bartending world. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

Grapes: the final frontier. These are the recordings of The Maker & The Merchant. Their continuing mission: to explore strange new wines; to seek out new puns and new levels of humour; to boldly go where no pod has gone before! That's right. Ferg hasn't just attended the Next Gen Fruit Conference, he IS the Next Gen fruit conference. Wearing his finest starfleet dress uniform, Ferg gave a talk on growing grapes in the UK to some of the finest agricultural minds in the industry. But just what is The Next Gen Fruit Group? What is its Prime Directive, and can they redirect all power to forward shields? Joking aside we learn from Ferg about the differences in knowledge, understanding, and potentially foresight between UK fruit growers and grape growers. What are his key takeaways? Where can grape growers learn from those who grow top fruit and soft fruit (and, err, what is the difference between those two things?)   As well as this we take a quick look at the large news of Majestic purchasing Enotria & Coe and what this may or may not mean for the trade and the UK wine consumer. There's also something about Ferg causing trouble in the middle east.   TM&TM: A Critical Mass Of Talent available to beam down to the planet's surface from stardate 030425.

Did you fall for any April Fools jokes? Was Meghan Markle joking us?! How Gen Z knows your age, and Steve Kornacki's new gig Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Did you fall for any April Fools jokes? Was Meghan Markle joking us?! How Gen Z knows your age, and Steve Kornacki's new gig Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Donald Trump's long-promised "Liberation Day" of insane new tariffs approaches, but what's his plan for the global trade war he's promising to start? Jon, Lovett, and Tommy discuss all the latest madness, including Trump's new hints that he'll serve a third term, the galling new details about Alien Enemy Act deportations, and Elon Musk buying votes in the Wisconsin judicial race. Then, Jon sits down with Arizona Senator Ruben Gallego to talk about how Democrats can fight back against Trump and how we can win again in states like his.

President Donald Trump did not dismiss the idea of pursuing a third term in the White House, despite the 22nd Amendment of the Constitution prohibiting it, claiming that “there are methods” to achieving this and emphasizing that he was “not joking” in recent interview. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's talk about Trump not joking about a third term....

President Trump recently declined to rule out running for a third term, setting up questions about the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution which implements a two-term limit for the presidency. NPR's Domenico Montanaro explains. Support NPR and hear every episode sponsor-free with NPR+. Sign up at plus.npr.org.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

SEASON 3 EPISODE 114: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: NO, NBC NEWS AND KRISTEN WELKER - YOU IDIOTS - TRUMP HAS NEVER BEEN 'JOKING' ABOUT A 3RD TERM: Only to dimwitted media types who have been lying to themselves and their audience was it a shock when Welker insisted yesterday to Trump that he’s “joking” about stealing an unconstitutional and illegal third term and the Dictator replying “No I’m not joking, I’m not joking" and he alluded to several ways to game the 22nd Amendment Term Limits. Trump has been serious about this since at least 2023 and the first time I reported on that fact on this podcast was on Wednesday, November 8th… 2023. This has been the plan (like all the other plans) take something unconstitutional and illegal and do it anyway and dare you to sue and get his Concierge Supreme Court to invent a new law and a new country to LET him do it anyway AND insist THIS is the law and if you oppose him, YOU’RE breaking it. That’s the way they papered over Trump’s violation of the Insurrection Clause in the 14th Amendment. Worse yet, the man who has best encapsulated the evil inside Trump, Yale History professor Timothy Snyder, is leaving the country. Literally. Moving to the University of Toronto. If that doesn't tell you all you need to know about how much Trump is NOT kidding. IF ANYBODY STOPS TRUMP it'll be the corporations and Wall Street types who suddenly realize that when he said he'd cook the economy to give all the money to the rich guys he meant just him and Musk. Or maybe it'll be Trump's Intel Community. Somebody is leaking career-ending stories about Pete Hegseth and Bring-Your-Wife-To-Secret-Meetings-Work-Day and Bring-Your-Brother-Into-A-Nepo-Job-Day and I wonder who it could be. Perhaps the National Security Advisor who needs Hegseth to take the fall for SignalGate and just happens to have the number of the editor of The Atlantic programmed into his phone? If we're lucky maybe Hegseth and Mike Waltz will accomplish the rare simultaneous double knockout! B-Block (33:06) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Anna Paulina Luna thinks NBC is hiding a videotape with time code proving Oswald wasn't at the JFK Assassination (three years before time code was invented). A would-be GOP Nominee for Governor of Virginia thinks Anne Frank appeared in a classroom in California 20 years ago to tell gang bangers about the holocaust. And Bill Maher has self-destructed again. Now he thinks he's going to meet Trump because they respect him, because he was the first to predict Trump wouldn't leave office, and to heal the country. And Chris Cuomo and Gavin Newsom are there to reinforce Bill's gullibility! C-Block (49:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: So I've resumed my TV sports career! I am back on the air this week in pre-season specials on nine regional baseball networks that carry nine major league clubs. This kinda conflicts with my complaints about the same guys doing sports and politics at this time. I'll explain my rationale.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

According to CNN, President Donald Trump did not rule out a potential third term during a recent interview, despite the 22nd Amendment prohibiting it. “There are methods which you could do it,” Trump said, adding he was “not joking.” He hinted at plans involving Vice President J.D. Vance or other strategies, though he declined to elaborate. Trump, who has teased a third term before, now insists the idea is serious. Some allies, like Steve Bannon, argue the amendment doesn't ban nonconsecutive terms. Legal experts, however, maintain it's unconstitutional and unlikely. Trump would be 82 by the end of a second term in 2029. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elon Musk holds town hall in Green Bay.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In our news wrap Sunday, Trump said he is considering a third term despite the Constitution banning it, the growing Texas measles outbreak is sparking concern in Washington and putting a spotlight on RFK Jr., crews are fighting to contain wildfires in the Carolinas, ceasefire talks between Israel and Hamas hit another roadblock, and actor Richard Chamberlain has died at age 90. PBS News is supported by - https://www.pbs.org/newshour/about/funders

In our news wrap Sunday, Trump said he is considering a third term despite the Constitution banning it, the growing Texas measles outbreak is sparking concern in Washington and putting a spotlight on RFK Jr., crews are fighting to contain wildfires in the Carolinas, ceasefire talks between Israel and Hamas hit another roadblock, and actor Richard Chamberlain has died at age 90. PBS News is supported by - https://www.pbs.org/newshour/about/funders

Hana shines and Aya rises.Book 3 in 18 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.“It is selfish to believe that your family will always love you. At some point you will be asked to earn it.”My equilibrium decided to cut me some slack and not invoke the reflexive vomiting. "It is only me, Hana, Imogen, Deidre, Mom, Buffy, hi Juanita," I hadn't spotted my designated bodyguard standing behind Chaz."Don't talk to me right now," she seethed. "I'm furious with you." Yep, she was the Caribbean Buffy."Perhaps she's pissed about the five extra Illuminati bodyguards added to the regular two around Hana plus the two circling Ghost Tigers having not a fucking clue what those other armed parties are doing in Hana's company," Pamela joked. She could. Everyone else was giving me crap about my social gaff."Hey now. This meeting is important. Imogen and I are going to have a child," I enlightened them. The door chimed open and we piled in with two Amazons whose 'fresh' look indicated a use of the showers within the past ten minutes."You consistently maintain particularly low standards," Chaz dryly remarked."I sent her here for a check-up and that gave Buffy a chance to meet Mom, Deidre and Imogen, plus two unarmed bodyguards," I kept bailing out the Titanic."Chaz, I am happy we aren't going to miss this one (lunch)," Pamela smiled at her two grandsons."Cáel, are you going to tell your fiancée you've impregnated your aunt?" Chaz was back to being mildly sympathetic to my 'totally fucked-up' life."Yes. I figured Buffy shooting death rays at me from her eyes will garner me enough confusion to get the words out of my mouth without her throwing her drink in my face, slapping me, then storming out," I envisioned.I got no more shit until I reached the garage for my vehicle. There an armed FBI Special Agent Virginia Maddox (did you know when a Federal Agent adds 'Special' to their title it means they have a gun?) stood next to my chariot. She'd drawn the short straw, meaning she had been given the chore of driving today.I found myself wondering when Yasmin would finally finish her orientation. Her training involved some serious mental challenges including a crash course from the FBI at Quantico concerning modern judicial theory & practice as well as whatever pre-Iron Age jurisprudence the Host practiced.Javiera promised me (and Katrina) that she would not-so-subtly remind those scholastically-groomed legal minds that a (couldn't use the word 'Amazon') legal code they followed had existed, with minor tweaking, as a successful social instrument for over 3,000 years. If they truly behaved in a respectful manner, the owners of the code might even show those people the Codex on the original horse-skin, written in Hittite cuneiform.Anyway, everyone assumed I had a good reason for heading to my apartment (aka need to retrieve a sleepy Odette.) Had I repeated 'the Bitch stole my fortune cookies', they might have simply taken me to an Asian-inclined grocery store. As we hit the second story landing, Chaz in the lead, we heard a passel of folks come down toward us from the fourth level.I didn't think there were that many people on the entire floor. Chaz and Pamela each went for their holstered pistol, while keeping them hidden in their jackets. Wiesława, who went for her PDW, backed up so she could fire through the stairs from beneath.Juanita, bless her heart, and Virginia had remained in the S U V because sending in more people would have left us piled into one another. If a firefight did break out, Juanita could bring in some serious hardware to back us up while Virginia called the appropriate authorities before rushing in herself.Around the corner on the third floor landing came a number of women, early/mid-twenties, physically fit, foreign clothes and downcast expressions. A few looked like they were about to cry. They were all in shirts and jeans, with no obvious weapons. Not looking lethal didn't ratchet down Chaz's vigilance. Me? I was instantly reminded how much sex I had been missing."Prince Cáel! You are alive!" spilled out of the first one, a fiery red-head with a billowing, thick mane, porcelain skin and adorable freckles. Her Irish brogue was enchanting. I had to wonder if she cried out in Gaelic during orgasm. Wasn't I about to meet my future bride plus numerous other love interests?She was fit, curvy and wearing an aqua shirt which exposed her midriff with a belly ring bearing a pearl drop, the requisite tattered skin-tight jeans and soft leather calf-boots."Why wouldn't I be alive?" I grinned, like a pirate discovering an all-girls school oceanographic classroom in need of plundering."How do total strangers know how unlikely it is that you would still be alive?" was Chaz's spin on things."We talked with your roommate. He said you had moved to Svalbard where you suffered an excruciating painful, yet richly deserved, death in a lemming stampede," she pouted, "and then the UN had your ashes exiled to Pluto because the Sun was too good for you."9, 10, 11 --12 of them looking, 3 with pale blonde hair that eerily reminded me of my fiancée, another red-head, two russet and five with deep, dark brown, or black hair. They were all fit, fit, fit! With an air of 'I graduated college only to discover: 1) no one was hiring Saline Soil Scientists, or 2) I no longer want to do any of the things I wanted to do when I picked this major. I was familiar with both types.Timothy would have been at work and Odette would have invited the troupe in to regale them with all sorts of tales, which would have included a tour of my bedroom. They clearly had missed Odette so, now I recalled; that particular excuse was one of the ten I had given the guy in 4B should anyone suspicious come calling.I imagine twelve hot, English-as-a-Second-Language girls might be considered, a bit odd. See, his was my address of record. I lied about my actual apartment, so random people who came looking for me went to him instead. This arrangement had been made prior to my understanding of the nature of my employment at Havenstone.I'd neglected, telling him to move out and go far, far away? Poor guy. I'd find a way to make it up to him later."Actually it was a southern vole immigration incident that was set off by the Bulgarian consulate offering repatriation for the first 10,000 applicants," I frowned, clearly traumatized by memory of the incident."These poor southern vole, native to the vacationer-friendly Black Sea resorts, were accidently introduced to the coldest inhabited place in the Northern hemisphere and they've been trying to get home ever since, that would be the equivalent of a century and a half in 'vole-years.""Despite the UN trying to quarantine any news of this Cricetidae catastrophe, I decided to evacuate the six most critically injured vole using a Bortolanza Pluto ultralight, which he must have confused with the UN sending my ashes to Pluto," I explained.Mind you, the 'southern' voles are native to, among other places, Norway, the owner of Svalbard. They were also native to the Bulgarian Black Sea coast so, The Pluto ultra-light, once built in Italy, is now called the 'Puma' and made in Canada, has a maximum range of 675 km, which would leave me crash landing into the Barents Sea, 260 km north of the northernmost airport in Norway, rendering me and my voles so much frozen food."You are an animal rights activist too?" several of the girls gasped. Yes. Yes I was. I was an animal and I was all for me having rights."Please, don't tell anyone about this," I grew serious. "I don't want my philanthropic efforts to be publicized. What I do, I do for the Earth's endangered ecosystems because it is what everyone should do, not because we suddenly feel bad about neglecting it.""E haere koe ki te whai kia nui ai," Pamela snorted. I'd ask her why she knew Maori later, right after I figured why Grandpa knew it."Ko toku mahere whānui," I replied. The girls looked confused."I'm also trying to revitalize endangered languages and revive dead ones. It is more of a hobby than life pursuit," I informed them."You really are a modern-day noble warrior-poet," the red-head leader sighed."Nah. I'm just a guy," I shrugged. "Besides, Ba ch ir fear a bheith ar eolas ag a gn omhais, n  a oidhreacht." (A man should be known by his deeds, not his heritage)."Sa ch s go bhfuil misneach, t  s il agam," she replied using my 'family' motto."Jos on jalot on toivoa,", "Ahol van b tors ga, van rem ny," and "cesaret olduğu yerde umut vardır," all followed. 'Where there is Valor, there is Hope' in Finnish, Hungarian and Turkish. I got the sneaking feeling this wasn't a college field trip gone awry. These chicks were coming at me with a purpose that included more than sexual gratification and a kiss good-bye. Ugh."Thank you," I genuflected, paying honor to their reciting of my personal vow. "Anyway, you appear to be looking for me, but I am afraid I don't know any of you. Taking into account that I have a late lunch date with my fiancée in a half-hour and will be taking notes at a feminist convention at 8, what can I do for you?" I was establishing my escape plan."We have come here to join you," an assertive, dusky-skinned one smiled. I had to think about this. I was a bit tired. Taking all twelve of these girls on in one orgy was currently beyond me. I'd do eight tonight and the last four before breakfast tomorrow. Ah, happy thoughts of the Lacrosse Finals."What exactly do you plan to do with Mr. Nyilas?" Chaz interrupted."We are the (Irish) 'Na conairte soith an   S aghdha ar', (Hungarian) 'A szuka kuty kat Herceg Nyilas', (Turkish) 'Prens ok u Kaltak K pekleri' and (Finnish) 'Narttu koirista prinssi jousimies'," they chorused.Pamela snickered. All of those fancy sounding names were variations on 'the Bitch Hounds of Prince Archer/Nyilas (with the Irish going for O'Shea)."You want to be my bodyguards?" I gawked. Lacking lions, the Irish choice of the 'fur-balls of death' were hounds. Being women technically made them 'bitches'. I had to move fast. Any second now Wiesława was going to figure out these over-anxious non-Amazons were trying to replace her."You do realize I've left piles of dead bodies in my wake, right?" I nearly choked. Pamela slapped me on my back."Of course," they sounded so chipper. Fuck you Internet and 'First Person Shooter' games. This wasn't a fucking game! Trained combatants who joined my retinue met grisly ends and this was their freaking profession!"Can I think about it? I mean, do any of you have any combat experience at all? Attacked someone in anger? Send off a blistering instant message?""Some of us have (combat experience I was assuming). We won't let you down.""You do realize Ms. Dubois is going to kill them, don't you Sir?" Chaz sent me a chilling look."Ms. Dubois?", "who is that?" and "kill us?" floated around."Ms. Dubois is my blood-hungry ferret who wears a 'naughty berserker' human suit to trick the masses.""Three of us have military training," one of the Finns spoke up.By that they meant they had volunteered for military service in their native countries, then left after their first term because they found military life to be boring. On the 'plus' side, all but one had martial arts experience and six of the twelve had been a member of a Gun Club of some kind. Yep, Buffy was going to kill them, all twelve at once by herself."I'll make you a deal," I offered. Chaz was giving me his 'I'm a stone yet clearly unhappy with you' face. "At 7:15 tonight, you will show up at Havenstone. I will sign you in, we'll go upstairs to one of the gyms and then warm up for fifteen minutes. When you are ready, or 7:30 rolls around, we are going to the sparing mats. If I lose, you can stay. If you lose, you will write this off as one of a legion of ideas that look good in print yet are foolish in practice. Do you accept?""How many of us do you have to beat for us to join with you and your Crusade?" the lead Irishwoman asked."All of you. I will fight you all at once. The mat space is quite extensive.""You mean all twelve of us against you at the same time?" one of the Turks blinked in disbelief."Yes. I am not disrespecting you, any of you. You've shown initiative, courage and a spirit of adventure. I found all three to be both admirable and worthy of reward (i.e. I will gladly have sex with you). What I am also telling you is of the three people with me, the only one I can most likely defeat in single combat is her," I motioned to Wiesława, "and I'm only saying that because she is 19 and relatively new to the art of killing."Their eyes flickered to Pamela. Chaz was scary without even trying. Pamela could be threatening, or appear harmless, as she wished."Chaz is a professional military man from a long line of diligent warriors and in a branch of service that requires close contact with hostile individuals, teams, tribes, clans and nations.""The woman behind me is much, much worse. I've met precisely three people who could possibly kill her and I killed one of them. Would you agree, Chaz?""Absolutely," he concurred."We know who you two are," a Finn spoke up. She had a dazzling smile and cleavage that had to obscure her toes when she stood."You do?" Pamela played nice. For once, it was technology biting her in the ass, not me. Yay?"You are Rhingyll lliw Siarl Yfory," the Irish lass looked at Chaz. That was Welsh, and meant Color Sergeant Charles Tomorrow, I imagined his superiors in the British military weren't going to be happy with any of us, him being a 'secret military operator', emphasis on the 'secret'."And you are Sverkhsekretnykh Shpiona Vsemed Svaya," the Turkish girl pointed at Pamela. Pamela snorted. In Russian that meant 'Super-secret Spy Pamela Pile'. Since Pamela in Russia was pronounced 'Pamela' they had gone back to the origin of the name of Pamela, a fictitious 17th English novelist creation using mangled Hellenic, which translated as 'all-honey'.'All-honey' in Russian was Vsemed. Pamela snickered. Oh yeah, those twelve had combed through millions of articles and pictures to figure out who Chaz was and who Pamela claimed to be. Actually, one of my Hungarian admires back when we were all in Eastern Europe had suggested Pamela was a remorseful ex-SMERSH agent turned Princely-sidekick. Pamela jabbed me, the unspoken 'sidekick' thing.(For those who don't know, in Russian SMERSH loosely means 'Death to Spies', it really existed from 1943 to 1946 and was resurrected by Ian Fleming as a foil for James Bond.)"Chaz, since Cáel is, without a doubt, already having a stupendously wretched day, we must insist he inform Addison of all three of these developments, in person. I want to see the look on her face," Pamela plotted with the man who had thrown himself between me and an explosive vest, probably out of some psychic impulse that I would suffer far, far worse later, like in today, within less than 24 hours of said act."Why am I here again today?" I lowered my head and groaned."Are you okay?" a dozen innocent voices cried out."We are here to pick up Odette," Wiesława reminded me."Oh yeah, fortune cookies," I mumbled."Is 'Fortune Cookie' a nickname for one of your other operatives? Many of them are real enigmas. We can't find out anything about her," one of the Hungarians said. Yeah, because SD doesn't have a Facebook page, or Twitter account. Odette, she was protected by a completely unremarkable lifestyle, but I had a feeling that was fading fast."Excuse us," I asserted myself. "I need to get something on the third floor. Chaz began pushing forward while Pamela had my back."What are you doing?" to me and "Hey, is that a gun?" to Chaz, then Wiesława. Pamela was too sneaky to get caught."I'm here to pick up Agent Fortune Cookie then head out to a meeting with some really shady characters and my fiancée," I informed them."Agent Fortune Cookie," Chaz mused. "She's going to love that,""And then," Pamela continued."She is going to want a gun," I groaned.Oh goddess! No! Chaz had joined Pamela and my 'group think'."No, I have not," Chaz corrected me, about my mental ruminations."I've been coaching him," Pamela faux-consoled me. As my new prospective bodyguards parted for my current bodyguards,"Do you have psychic powers?" "Where is your android?" and "Is it true you can have sex up to ten times a day?""Yes, but we can't talk about it," then, "Which one? We have six models," and finishing up with, "Yes, I can have sex up to ten times a day with each session lasting at least an hour, though I do need breaks for food, drink, quiet romantic conversations and showers, cause shower-sex is so damn fun."While they mulled that over, I unlocked my door in time to see a nicely-dressed (as if she was about to go out on an expensive lunch date) Odette spring off the sofa. Looking at the crowd behind me, she blessed me with an incredibly happy smile."Oh cool! Do we really have enough time for an orgy?"I wanted to cry.(A Family FUNction, minus the 'fun' part)My fiancée giving me a congenial and contented look. Good.My fuck-buddy/friend Libra giving me a salacious 'you and me are going to hook up soon' smile while dressed in a red, 'business suite/slinky number' combo with a plunging neckline. I put her invite on my mental day-planner. Fellas, if you can't keep it in your mind, forget about it. Print equals pain, believe me.Brooke had joined the lunch group, sharing a smile and wink with Libra with the secret agreement for a three-way. Sweet! I could do this, hmm, lunch break Friday, yum-yum-yum. She was wearing a beige business suit with slacks, minus the shirt. Only her cunningly cut jacket kept her goodies from exposure.Hana was a saint for putting up with those two, and me.Buffy was studying me with the clear desire to put me in a dog cage for the rest of the week. Technically she had to produce my body for work Monday. As for the hot, sweaty, intense Brooke-Libra-Cáel m nage   trois, Buffy was reading the undercurrents and setting up a breakwater. At least her attire suggested well-paid, successful international assassin. I wondered if I had paid for her clothing as well. I'd given Chaz's wardrobe a serious upgrade courtesy of Pamela faking my signature.The gathering was rounded out by Mom, Imogen and Deirdre. Thank God they all had different hair styles and forms of dress. Mom was in 'casual-durable' attire, Imogen was going with the military-chic and Deirdre's get up was in the same style as Hana.I was pleasantly pleased that Hana had reserved two adjacent tables for what she assumed would be my support network, Pamela, Odette, Chaz, Wiesława and Juanita, plus Imogen's five and her (Hana's) two Illuminati minders. That made me squeezing my twelve newest over-eager admirers into the mix doable, if not comfortable. Better yet, none of the new girls was dressed for a restaurant this exclusive.Hana was quietly amused. Buffy was volcanic. Thankfully she was being a volcano on the mid-Atlantic ocean ridge ~ submerged."Chaz, Pamela, explain," Buffy seethed."I don't work for you," Pamela playfully bantered back, "Sweet-Cheeks.""They are part of a clandestine operation to provide cooperation and assistance from the European Union," I offered up in such a sincere manner. I almost had them. Buffy looked to Chaz who opted to channeled his 'inner- Cáel'."I can neither confirm nor deny their status as operators from four European nations," he nodded.Buffy forked a helpless appetizer shrimp then catapulted at one of my Finns, I thought it was Oili. It bounced off her bosom. She couldn't even claim to not have seen it coming."What?" Oili gasped."Operatives?" Buffy sizzled at me."Prince Cáel," Flannery asked, "why did that strange woman throw a, shrimp at Oili?""It was a hand-eye coordination test," Odette informed her. "Had Oili been a real spy, you would have snatched up a nearby napkin, deflect the item with the napkin and all while drawing down on her. It is what they do all the time. It is pretty neat to watch.""Why use a napkin?" Oili asked Odette while eyeing Buffy in case another decapod was coming her way."You use a napkin because the shrimp might have a contact poison on it," Odette rolled her eyes. "Buffy used a fork to flip it at you. She didn't use her hands, so the possibility existed." Pamela gave Odette an 'atta girl' high five."Prince Cáel?" Brooke giggled. "What have you been up to?""Okay. I got this. Ladies, may I introduce Annikki, Belgin, Berit, Flannery, Gizi, Ilkay, Kato, Neve, Nuray, Oili, Pirkko and Zsuzsi. These fine women have decided to put their productive lives on hold so they can be my bodyguards," I made the introductions."They have volunteered to be, basically the 'Hounds of Prince O'Shea/Nyilas/Archer'. My Hounds, please let me introduce Hana, my fiancée, Brooke, my close friend, Libra, a sweet & sincere childhood acquaintance, my Mother, Sibeal, my O'Shea aunts, Deidre & Imogen and Kalmarasērmi Buffy."Despite the absurdity of the situation and my clear irresponsibility, Buffy let a smile crease her frown. 'Kalmarasērmi' was my term for her in the Amazon language = my Mountaintop."I will volunteer my facilities to train them," Aunt Imogen offered me drolly. She was the primary trainer for all O'Shea guardians/Special Forces."Train us?" a half dozen voices murmured."Yes Child. I am Imogen O'Shea, Cáel is the greatest treasure in my life and I have serious doubts any of you can be anything more than distracting bullet-catchers for my favorite (and only) nephew. It annoys me to think you are yet another walking advertisement showing him to be both big-hearted and soft-headed.""I will offer prayers upon the mounds of my ancestors (lie, her only 'ancestor' refused to stay buried) for Cáel's safety. You should invoke whatever supernatural entity you place faith in to keep Cáel safe as well, because if he gets so much as a scratch defending any one of you, I will exercise my nearly endless knowledge of human pain to make you pay.""Is she Ms. Dubois?" Flannery asked Odette."That would be me," Buffy showered fury their way."Do you really want to kill us?" Neve tried to stare Buffy down."Until ten seconds ago, Yes. Now I want to hand you over to these two," she motioned to Deidre and Imogen with her fork."Prince Cáel, why are they all so hostile?" Flannery requested understanding from me. "We have come here to help you. We have skills. All we are asking if for a chance to prove ourselves to you.""To Us," Buffy snapped. "Cáel's vote doesn't count.""Chill, Buffy," I snapped back. "I'm dealing with this, and your lack of trust is pissing me off.""Buffy," Hana intervened. She placed a hand on Buffy's thigh out of sight, yet not outside of my notice. "When was the last time Cáel failed to take your advice on something life-critical? These young ladies appear to be honest and diligent. If not, Pamela and the Color Sergeant wouldn't have let them come here, or near Odette."If I dated dumber women I would have less explaining (lying) to do, but I'd miss the challenge both inside and outside the bedroom. Hana's deft touch and gentle words calmed Buffy more than anything (outside of a righteous cocking) I could have accomplished. I was suddenly seized with the realization there was a goodly number of Katrina's positive attributes in Hana. How had I missed it?"Marrying you is going to be Hana's first step toward mortal beatification," Brooke teased me. Normally only dead people were made saints."A Servant of, probably not Jehovah. I think everyone at the table can agree she has interacted with supernatural forces," Sibeal hid her joking well."Martyring her hopes of monogamy?" Deidre's fey gaze flickered over the women of note (the women at the main table)."Her Heroic Virtue is Prudence?" Buffy added. Buffy had been Catholic?"Ladies, I'm Lutheran. We don't normally venerate saints. Joking aside, I was given a reason to believe this lunch date was important on a social level between myself and my fianc . Food would be nice too."Brooke and Libra's presence regulated Pamela and Chaz to an adjacent table. A waiter slipped in, took my order, I decided to forgo an appetizer because I was late, then the conversation began."Hana, this is my Mother, Sibeal Nyilas. Imogen and Deidre are my family from Ireland," I made the introductions, most definitely unnecessarily. I was buying time to get a better read on the women around me."I know," Hana showered me with mature compassion."Get to it, damn you," Buffy huffed."Wow, I'm thinking of the best way to tell you this," I barely could meet Hana's eyes."I am pregnant with your fianc 's child," Imogen cut to the chase. What she said was delivered on purpose. Imogen wasn't as socially maladjusted as Rachel. The fewer women in my life, the easier the O'Shea would have roping me in. Imogen's words were meant to hurt Hana and drive a wedge between us."You too?" Hana's sad eyes studied Imogen. She hid her anger-disappointment-disgust well. In this crowd her efforts to obfuscate her feeling only worked on Libra and Brooke. Those two ladies were less astute at concealing their surprise."She's your aunt, right?" Libra's look settled on me instead of a blatant Imogen, or a pained Hana."No," Mom answered for me. "My sisters and I were born sterile. It is impossible that our paternal heritage has been passed along. Whatever Imogen's maternal contribution was, it is not from our DNA. My sister does have a child inside her, Havenstone verified it and will have the precise genetic make-up within 24 hours," she persisted (lying)."If Cáel has a failing, it is that he was seduced by my sisters who played upon his very confusing Mother-Son relationship. I faked my death when he was seven. I 'died' in a quite painful manner and he had to watch helplessly as he witnessed me wasting away. I did such a horrible thing to a young boy because the people who were hunting me down, the two O'Shea before you and the nine who aren't here, would have used numerous means of torture to verify my death."(Until they realized 'what' I was. Then my imprisonment would have begun)"My wonderful husband would have died without giving them the truth. It was too much to ask of our son. For fifteen years he believed me dead. He learned the truth at his Father's funeral. I believe every woman at this table knows my son doesn't handle emotional pain well.""Imogen's statement was a thinly-veiled stab at Hana's heart and a kick to my son's sense of responsibility to both Hana and his unborn child. How could this not hurt Hana? How could Cáel possibly respond, torn between the woman who has already sacrificed so much of her happiness for a man barely aware of his own maturity, and the woman bringing his child into the world?""Good one, Imogen. Those two are better than you, or I. By all means, make a mockery of my son, your nephew, who has pledged to fight for your life when he should clearly walk away and let the rest of you die. He asks nothing of you yet you feel no remorse at sullying his happiness.""There are ten good reasons for you getting up and walking out of here intact right now. There are six better reasons for making you pay for your cruelty," she threatened."Ten?" Brooke whispered."The sisters' five bodyguards, the two body guards they gifted me with, Deidre, Imogen and Cáel. You don't think he would let the woman bearing his child take a beating, do you Brooke?" Hana enlightened her."No.""The Six?" Libra scanned the room."My other two bodyguards won't act unless I am directly threatened. They won't be out to hurt anyone. If anyone tries to hurt me, they will jump straight to the making them dead option. The 'Six' are Buffy, Pamela, Chaz, Juanita, Special Agent Maddox and Sibeal.""We'd help," Libra insisted. Brooke was onboard with that proclamation."No," came forth from Hana, Mom and me."Brooke and Libra; you two, Odette, the other twelve and the wait staff will only confuse the issue. My sisters and their soldiers will use you and the rest to distract Cáel. Except for Ms. Maddox, the rest won't give a fuck so your best bet is to hit the deck and let the professionals deal with things," Mom clarified."Brooke, Libra, this is a wacko chicks with guns moment," I put things in perspective."Hana?" Libra put a hand on Hana's shoulder."Don't mind me," she patted Libra's hand. "I'm diving for cover and not getting up until you, Brooke, Cáel, or Buffy tell me to get up. Sorry Sibeal, but I don't know you that well yet.""I understand," Mom agreed.To punctuate the awkwardness of the moment, Aisha (the Arabic swimsuit model) and three other SD ladies waltzed into the place and took a table. When the maytre dee tried to impede them, Aisha threatened to exterminate his entire extended family with a look alone. Been there, done that, and the maytre dee was nowhere close to being in my league.I had to think that through. Had Buffy called them, the SD would have been here before I arrived. Pamela was a possibility, except the SD still hated her over Constanza's maiming. If she told them my life 'was' in danger, they would still show up. My life wasn't in danger and Pamela wouldn't yank their chain.It had to be Juanita. The head of my bodyguard telling Elsa that I was in an exposed position with 9 armed Illuminati would have elicited this level of response. Pamela prodded Odette. Odette had a 'what do you want me to do' non-verbal exchange with Pamela then got up and went over to Aisha.Odette even remembered to navigate the room in such a manner Aisha and her team could keep an uninterrupted view of the threat. Pamela and Chaz's lessons were paying off. They weren't training her in the lethal arts. They were showing her how to not be an obstacle, which was better, given our current circumstances."Hana, don't hate Imogen. The only parent she's ever known was Granddad," I returned my attention to the crisis at hand."Oh, I'm sorry," Hana sent sympathetic waves Imogen's way. If there was a hint of 'you bitch' hidden within those words, none of us would admit it."Yes, yes," Imogen smiled back. "Father was a real troll.""That's not true," Hana responded. "I've met him and he has always been very nice to me. It was easy for me to look past the nations of dead he's murdered, his propensity to rape his daughters and his plans to destroy my Cáel.""I don't hold you to blame for not protecting Cáel more than you have. He's a handful and reminds you of your Father, the mass-murdering rapist. And Imogen, don't try to hurt Cáel using me again, you Bitch. I'm not a part of your circus. That doesn't render me powerless. I love more than I hate. I count a person great by the lives they save, not those they take. Where there is Valor, there is Hope and my fianc  has both in spades. Do we understand one another?""Proving you are smarter than Ms. Sievert is not something which equates to being a threat," Deidre countered."Cáel, why aren't you saying something?" Brooke whispered to me."Because he knows better," Mom grinned. "This is a battle Hana has to win, or lose, on her own.""Cáel has plenty of women willing to go behind his back and kill people, Brooke. Now, if Hana asks for such a favor, we know it is not over some petty bullshit," rolled menacingly forth from Buffy as her feral countenance made a few of the Illuminati at the next table nervous."That won't be necessary," I broke up the tension. "We are as dysfunctional a family as they come, but we are family and we will all treat one another as such by the standards of the only one who matters. Clear?""You?" Deidre soothed me."No. Ferko Nyilas', my Father and the best man I've ever known. He taught me to never make excuses for your own behavior. Surrendering our control over our lives is a cop-out. If you want to continue acting like the creepy-ass bitch daughters of Cáel O'Shea, so be it. That is your choice to make. I care for you.""I care enough for you to fight Granddad over your futures. I hope all of you know I mean what I say. Whatever you decide to do, no matter how you act, I will always love you. I've made my choices and I am going to hold you responsible for yours. Let's eat lunch. It has been a rough fucking day and it isn't over yet."If there was ever any doubt, I destroyed those twelve hopeful bodyguards on the mats. They possessed neither the skill nor the savagery necessary in a warrior culture. We Amazons didn't recoil from pain. Our sisters' lives were on the line. That was why you practiced no-holds-barred fighting with, or without, weapons."We can learn," the lead Finn protested. The rest were getting over the physical and spiritual pain of being so easily beaten."My normal bodyguards go through three years of intense 24/7 training. Being a member of that elite body means you train in all forms of weapons as well as hand-to-hand combat techniques.""Once you've mastered the core physical and skill baseline requirements, and this core training never stops, no point is considered 'good enough', you begin learning at least two specialties. Those are disciplines such as close-protection, sniping, small unit tactics, infiltration, battlefield medicine, electronics, computing, communication systems, linguistics and 'training' expertise.""In my current team, the ones who fought at my side in Hungry and Romania, all have three specialties. Discounting their regimen since the age of five, each had been on the job in a professional capacity at least six years. The leader had eleven years in.""Finally, when you are at that level of excellence, you need a specific mindset. What you need to do is think why you shouldn't kill someone, not if you should. If there is any doubt, you strike. If you hesitate, someone close to you might be killed, not just me.""Look around you. If you aren't ready to kill for any of your companions, you will never cut it. Now, I'm going to have you shown out. I will have taxis take you back to your hotel. Think about it. Seriously, think about dedicating yourself to more than some stranger you've met on the internet.""You will be dedicating yourself to the other elven women in your group, to the death. That is the level of spiritual dedication it takes to be at my side. Go, take a rest, talk it over, search your souls. Call me if any of you want to continue and we can have lunch Sunday and make plans. Questions?""Do the other women around you do this, make those choices?" one of the Turkish women frowned while nursing a bruised jaw."No. They have it worse. They have thrown their old lives away, never to return. Each and every one has either murdered a human being, or attempted to, before they are even considered for the task.""Under normal circumstances, we wouldn't be having his conversation. You would never be given the chance. You are woefully unqualified in every way except spirit. Your willingness to cross the Atlantic to make your offers resonates with me, so I am both warning you this is horrible, horrible path you are taking and I am explaining precisely how slender any of your chances are of accomplishing your goals.""I, I don't know," whispered one of the Hungarian lasses."At the Seven Skulls, I led three such women into combat (Rachel, Charlotte and Saku) against a group of warriors who were fighting free of 500 elite Romanian Mountain Troops. Of the Romanians, nearly 200 were either dead, or wounded. The FBI Special Agent we took with us was badly wounded."One of the three was killed, a head shot, and the remainder left her body where she had fallen because the enemy were still out there and they had to protect me. The world will not bend to your sensitivities. Life around me is exceedingly dangerous and unforgiving," I finished.No immediate consensus united them. Fear and disbelief were the major vibes I was picking up. None of them were angry, insulted, or overly terrified."Time for you to go," Buffy concluded our meeting. "Tigger Maeve and Dora Farānak, would you please see Cáel's guests to the lobby." A new pleasure of Buffy's was using the House names of the Full-bloods she interacted with.I have taken a few mystic liberties:Maeve was a Celtic War Goddess ~ the Enslaver of Men.Farānak was a Scythian Goddess also known as the Lynx Goddess and the Silent Huntress.As for the other new hires:Daphne was, as explained earlier, of House Cotyttia (Thracian Goddess of Sex, War and Slaughter)Fabiola was of House Minerva (Roman Goddess of War & Strategy)Violet Maza was in House Oshun, the Yoruba Goddess of Love, Sexuality, Beauty and Diplomacy; Lady of the Orisha ~ life spirits.Paula Wadena was of House Cybele (Phrygian Earth Mother, Guardian of the Lion Throne)}They were dismissed and smart enough to know that was the best possible answer to their current predicament, learning your romantic adventure was actually a gory supernatural battle for survival. A growing number of Isharans had been gathering while I dealt with the wannabes. A few were amused, perhaps even understanding, of my actions.Soon enough, using her position as Record Keeper of House Ishara, Helena cajoled the other Amazons into giving us peace and quiet. Not all left. Watching a jury-rigged House Ishara work through its business in a semi-public setting was an event both unlooked for and possibly enlightening.For this gathering, we had 122 of the 159 members. The missing members were not close enough, or were providing a critical function that wouldn't allow them to be in New York on this night."Sisters, a moment of personal prayer for each of us to seek guidance from our Ancestors as we seek to continue their legacy," I intoned softly, calling the meeting to order.I had barely opened my eyes, failing to get any inspiration from Yakko, when the struggle began."Why are we including them in a House Ishara meeting?" Madori pointed out the three 'new hires' who were sticking around."Memasant (Amazon for to speak true)," I answered her. Since Daphne, Paula and Violet had clearly been sitting among us before the meeting began, I gave Buffy a disappointing frown. "Ishara respects these three for teaching the rest of you the Amazon language so that we can teach it to others, thus all of you becoming able to engage all our sisters in our native tongue.""I doubt any other House would extend this honor to others. Thankfully, we are not like any other House. We know better. We have all been outsiders. We aren't a 'normal' House and I am working toward us never being one. We have to be kind and just when necessary, and forgive when it is what the Host needs.""We will do this because we Isharans alone will decide on the prestige of our sisters. If the other Houses make an issue of it, who cares? None of them have made the sacrifices necessary to be Isharans. I know that you have not all gathered here tonight to hear me pontificate. Who wants to be first?""Will you accept a challenge?" Madori stood up. We had spread out in a ring, two Amazons deep, along the edges of the mats. I had never sat down."Put forth your complaint," I responded."You emphasize duties other than that of a House Head. You don't take the time to show up at initiation ceremonies. In essence, you ignore your sisters to advance your own prestige.""Yes, I am not showing up at the initiation ceremonies.""Yes, I prioritize other activities over running the day-to-day operations of our House.""Yes, you are utterly ignoring the two Amazons sitting at either side of me. I chose Buffy Ishara and Helena Ishara to lead this House because I knew I would have others issues coming up in my life concerning the Host.""Buffy, are you challenging me?""No, Wakko Ishara," she responded angrily. She wasn't angry with me. She had chosen the majority of the assembly and they were turning on me, thus her."Helena, are you challenging me?""No Wakko Ishara. I am intimately familiar with your work and the dangers you constantly confront for the greater Host," she answered in an equally hostile tone."Now that the issue of relevance has been dealt with, I will accept any challenge from any of you selfish, bigoted, power-hungry cunts who wish to put your own self-interest above that of our House. By all means, stumble over one another for the top spot," I mocked them. I'd played nice. No more.It was telling that my classification of any challenger was completely ignored. Madori and five supporters stood. In theory, challenges were the rare 1-on-1 Amazon experience. Another Amazon, Arianne, stood with another supporter."Cool beans," I nodded.I backed up, stepped off the mats and picked up the four axes I had pre-prepared. Back on the mat I went past my handful of supporters, brandished two weapons and advanced a quarter way onto the sparring area. The mass of my opponents muttered in confusion and resentment."Ishara, we have not trained in archaic weapons. Most of our facilities never had then," Madori protested."Amazons don't play fair," I glared. Several migrated to the walls to pick out whatever looked the least daunting. Buffy, Helena, Marsha, Daphne Cotyttia, Violet Oshun and Paula Cybele did likewise."Is this how you want to answer a challenge for leadership?" Madori glowered. "Cheating, utilizing a clear advantage in a farce of equality and justice?""No. Please step back and call every member of JIKIT," my eyes narrowed. "How about this, call the Amazon's contact with the Earth & Sky? Can't do that either? How about convince the 9 Clans to help us pursue a House obligation?""You duties as Chief Diplomat are not that of Isharan House Head and actually make you less of a House Head," she countered. She had chosen a short spear, using it two-handed. And that made Katrina what precisely?"I should fucking kill you," Buffy snarled."Madori Ishara, Dot-Ishara is not the Goddess of Scrabble. She is not the Goddess of," and Madori tried to catch me flat-footed with a spear-thrust. I was appalled at how easy I dealt with her. My right axe diverted her spear enough so when I twisted my stance, she missed. I placed the head of my left axe on her shoulder, blade against her throat."Madori, you lose. Sit back down and contemplate that you were beaten by a 22 year old man," I seethed. There was no 'you didn't give me a chance' bullshit. She had struggled for advancement in the Amazon way. Such people weren't crybabies. "Next."Arianne approached me with a shield and short sword. My read on the situation was she was going to use acrobatics to compensate for my superior reach. I readied myself."I don't suppose you would accept a suggestion we fight unarmed?" she put out there. I took two steps toward her then dropped my axes."I trust you," I looked down at her. I could see the 'oh, fuck me' written all over her face. The unfairness had been tossed in her lap. She put the point of her leaf-shaped blade under the left side of my ribcage, close to my kidney."Yield.""Never.""Yield, or I will kill you."I took a quarter-inch penetration when I clamped down on her right wrist and slammed my elbow into her face. A quick exchange of footwork ended up with both of us on the mat, Arianne on her back, sword pinned to the mat and her shield trapped between us. Head-butt followed head-butt until she was unresponsive.I stood up, blood oozing down my side."Water!" I barked. A bottled water was rolled my way. Three more Amazons were sizing me up. This challenge phase was far from over. I splashed water down on Arianne's face until she sputtered into wakefulness."Pathetic," I sneered at her. "This House is worth any and all of our lives. If you were the best candidate to lead this house and I refused to yield, then why did you spare me? Not only could you not kill me when you clearly could, you failed to do so even when it became an unequal contest of arms."Arianne was shamed and furious. I was treating her like a presumptuous, outsider woman."I'm feeling particularly generous in victory, Arianne, don't you dare stand up," I growled when she tried. "I will not kill you for your disrespect. I will not exile you from our House because doing so would show both of us failing to grasp one of the key principles of our People, learn. Learn and keep learning. A loss is nothing more than a temporary setback. Learn, don't repeat the same mistake twice and never stop striving for success until you take yourself to the cliffs."One of the two newes

It has been too long of a break and we appologize for that. To make it up, Adam and Scott are coming in with some potential hot take topics here.The duo starts out with a good hypothetical: which players in the world right now would you have serious considerations to replace Martin Odegaard at Arsenal?Adam went with the following: Florian Wirtz, Jamal Musiala, maybe Cole Palmer but not really and a whole bunch of not really sure there is better options.Scott went with the following: Florian Wirtz, Jamal Musiala, Pedri, Jude BellinghamThis is a fun exercise to do because I think you start realizing that while Odegaard might not be the best player in the position, the number of players that are for sure an upgrade, plus don't have some other flaw in their game like their age that tilts things against them, is quite hard.This digs into some of the bigger issues that we have with player discussion in general, especially how familiarity breeds contempt and a bit of grass is always greener with other players. Scott went deep into this topic if you haven't seen it yet, it is worth checking out.With Saka back on the grass and Scott with egg on his face for his pessimism, the next question is how do Arsenal set up and how do they go about setting up for the rest of the season? Also, how do they prioritize things while they are mostly safe in second place and set for Champions League qualification while juggling the Champions League?Should Arsenal move Odegaard? Move Nwaneri? Move Saka to left-back (Joking)? Who is going to be starting striker? It's April 16th at the Santiago Bernabéu what does Arsenal's eleven look like? What if we have a team that we expect to throw a deep block at Arsenal? One the other big bits of news that has hit during our break is the addition of Andrea Berta as Director of Football.It is an action packed episode and glad to get back into the swing of things. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.cannonstats.com/subscribe

You can watch the replay of the webinar here https://event.webinarjam.com/go/replay/27/n0rnxu71sp7b8nb1Eurodollar University's one-time webinar offer for its subscriptions and memberships:https://www.eurodollar.university/webinar-offerWhy on earth would anyone say we need a serious financial and economic crisis? Simple: it might be the only way to avoid a lot worse. We've had two so far in the last almost twenty years that got us nowhere; worse than nowhere. If nothing else, maybe third time's a charm.Eurodollar University's Money & Macro AnalysisBen Bernanke's pathetic response to some real Congressional questioning in July 2012:https://www.c-span.org/program/house-committee/us-economic-outlook-and-monetary-policy/282124https://www.eurodollar.universityTwitter: https://twitter.com/JeffSnider_EDU

Welcome to TC Live! Join hosts Coco Vandeweghe, Steve Weissman, and Paul Annacone as they discuss our Men's 4th round highlights and Women's quarterfinals action. Novak Djokovic not joking around as he looks to reach the final 8 for the 8th time here in Miami. Aryna Sabalenka continues to dominate as she makes it to the semifinals. Team Europe announced Tim Henman as the Vice Captain for them in the upcoming Laver Cup. All that and more on today's episode of TC Live! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The things of God are often very serious, but if you have listened to us long enough you know we tell a lot of jokes. We talk about the line with that and get into some theological mysteries with our special guest Cameron Wetzel!

Have you ever had a man make a "dark joke" that made you uncomfortable? Well, you're in good company. Today my cohost is the musical artist Fae. She's got quite the story about a man who kept saying he was going to abduct her. But that's just the start of all her terrible tales with men...     F THE NICE GUY LINKS Patreon: Patreon Page Tiktok: FtheNiceGuy Tiktok Youtube: F the Nice Guy Youtube Page   FAE LINKS Find Fae's music across all streaming platforms Regan's Current Favorite Song by Fae - TEMPER Fae's LinkTree  

Michael Proctor's Career of Alleged Cover-Ups In Memoriam Michael Proctor had everything a cop could want—respect, power, and a reputation that, for years, seemed untouchable. But by March 2025, he wasn't just out of a job—he was a liability. Fired. Disgraced. Publicly humiliated in a way few law enforcement officers ever are. And it all comes back to one thing: the way he handled the Karen Read case. Or rather, how spectacularly he mishandled it. Proctor's downfall wasn't a quick and clean dismissal. This wasn't one of those “effective immediately” situations where a cop gets caught doing something catastrophic and is gone by the next morning. No, this was a slow-motion train wreck. A case study in watching someone who thought they were untouchable get tangled in their own arrogance, their own bias, and their own mistakes. It started with a mistrial in July 2024—a high-profile, publicly scrutinized moment where Proctor didn't just look bad on the stand, he became the story. His testimony wasn't just shaky; it was an unmitigated disaster. Prosecutors must have known it was coming because the moment his text messages came out, it was game over. These weren't just any texts. Proctor, the lead investigator in the Karen Read case, the man responsible for gathering evidence and ensuring a fair and unbiased investigation, repeatedly called the defendant a "wack-job ct," openly mocked her, laughed about digging through her phone for nude photos, and, in one of the most damning moments, said he hoped she would kill herself.** Think about that for a second. The guy responsible for finding out what actually happened had already made up his mind before the investigation even started. And he wasn't keeping that bias to himself—he was texting it to people. Joking about it. Making it impossible to argue that he had conducted an objective investigation. And that wasn't even the worst of it. Proctor had undisclosed personal connections to key people involved in the case. His own sister was friends with members of the Albert family—the same family that owned the house where John O'Keefe was last seen alive. His family knew them socially. And yet, he never disclosed this. He took the case, took control of the evidence, and built a case against Karen Read while having direct ties to the very people who could have been alternative suspects. Then there was the taillight evidence. The prosecution's whole theory hinged on the idea that Karen Read backed into John O'Keefe with her SUV, breaking her taillight and leaving him outside to die in the snow. But the glass fragments that allegedly proved this theory didn't make it to the crime lab for six weeks. Six weeks. And guess who was in charge of that evidence? Michael Proctor. When asked about the delay, there was no good answer. No chain of custody explanation that made sense. No reasonable justification for why a critical piece of forensic evidence in a high-profile murder case sat around for over a month before it was analyzed. The defense didn't even need to prove that the evidence had been planted—they just had to point out how incompetent and sloppy the investigation was. And Proctor had done all of their work for them. The mistrial was a disaster. But the fallout was worse. Within hours of the decision, Proctor was suspended. That was the first clue that even his own department knew he was a problem. The Massachusetts State Police don't just throw their own under the bus. It takes serious misconduct for them to cut someone loose. And by this point, they had no choice. Because once Proctor went down, he took a whole lot of other cases with him. One of the first dominoes to fall? The Ana Walshe murder trial. This was another major case where Proctor had been deeply involved—investigating the disappearance and presumed murder of Walshe by her husband, Brian. But after the Read mistrial, prosecutors dropped Proctor from their witness list. They weren't even willing to put him on the stand. Think about what that means. Prosecutors, who normally go to great lengths to protect their investigators, decided it was better to move forward without their lead detective rather than risk having him testify. Then came the defense attorneys lining up to challenge other convictions. Proctor had worked on multiple murder cases, and now, anyone convicted in those cases had a potential argument for appeal. If Proctor had lied, manipulated evidence, or acted with bias in the Read case, who's to say he hadn't done it before? By late 2024, the Massachusetts State Police were scrambling. They launched internal investigations not just into Proctor, but **into his superiors—**the people who had allowed him to operate without oversight. They needed to figure out who knew what and when. And once they started digging, it became clear that Proctor wasn't the only problem. The truth is, he was never operating alone. And that brings us back to Sandra Birchmore. Sandra Birchmore was 23 years old, pregnant, and terrified. She had been manipulated for years by a man with a badge—Officer Matthew Farwell, a cop she had known since she was a teenager, a man who had groomed her since she was 13 or 14 years old under the guise of a police mentorship program. By 2021, she was pregnant with Farwell's child. Days later, she was found dead in her apartment. The official cause? Suicide. The police wasted no time shutting the case down. No suspicious circumstances. No deep dive into her relationship with Farwell. Just a quick, convenient conclusion that kept everything under wraps. And guess who oversaw that investigation? The same Massachusetts State Police unit that Michael Proctor worked for. It would take three years for the truth to come out. When federal investigators finally stepped in, they re-examined the crime scene, the autopsy, and Birchmore's relationship with Farwell. What they found contradicted the original ruling completely. Sandra Birchmore hadn't died by suicide. She had been strangled. Her death had been staged. The scene manipulated to look like something it wasn't. And when that became undeniable, Matthew Farwell was arrested and charged with murder in August 2024. This should have been the moment when the Massachusetts State Police admitted failure. But instead, they scrambled to explain how they had gotten it so wrong. And that's where things start to look uncomfortably familiar. The same people involved in burying the Birchmore case had direct ties to the Read investigation. Lieutenant John Fanning, Detective Brian Tully, and Sergeant Yuri Bukhenik—all senior officers **in Proctor's chain of command during the Read case—**had connections to the Stoughton Police Department, the same department where Farwell worked. This wasn't a coincidence. By the time Proctor was fired in March 2025, it wasn't about just him anymore. It was about all the people who had allowed him to operate unchecked for years. And the fallout was just beginning. Because once people started asking who had protected Proctor, they started realizing he was just one piece of a much bigger problem. A problem that wasn't going away. Want to listen to ALL of our podcasts AD-FREE? Subscribe through APPLE PODCASTS, and try it for three days free: https://tinyurl.com/ycw626tj Follow Our Other Cases: https://www.truecrimetodaypod.com The latest on The Downfall of Diddy, The Trial of Karen Read, The Murder Of Maddie Soto, Catching the Long Island Serial Killer, Awaiting Admission: BTK's Unconfessed Crimes, Delphi Murders: Inside the Crime, Chad & Lori Daybell, The Murder of Ana Walshe, Alex Murdaugh, Bryan Kohberger, Lucy Letby, Kouri Richins, Malevolent Mormon Mommys, The Menendez Brothers: Quest For Justice, The Murder of Stephen Smith, The Murder of Madeline Kingsbury, The Murder Of Sandra Birchmore, and much more! Listen at https://www.truecrimetodaypod.com

Michael Proctor's Career of Alleged Cover-Ups In Memoriam Michael Proctor had everything a cop could want—respect, power, and a reputation that, for years, seemed untouchable. But by March 2025, he wasn't just out of a job—he was a liability. Fired. Disgraced. Publicly humiliated in a way few law enforcement officers ever are. And it all comes back to one thing: the way he handled the Karen Read case. Or rather, how spectacularly he mishandled it. Proctor's downfall wasn't a quick and clean dismissal. This wasn't one of those “effective immediately” situations where a cop gets caught doing something catastrophic and is gone by the next morning. No, this was a slow-motion train wreck. A case study in watching someone who thought they were untouchable get tangled in their own arrogance, their own bias, and their own mistakes. It started with a mistrial in July 2024—a high-profile, publicly scrutinized moment where Proctor didn't just look bad on the stand, he became the story. His testimony wasn't just shaky; it was an unmitigated disaster. Prosecutors must have known it was coming because the moment his text messages came out, it was game over. These weren't just any texts. Proctor, the lead investigator in the Karen Read case, the man responsible for gathering evidence and ensuring a fair and unbiased investigation, repeatedly called the defendant a "wack-job ct," openly mocked her, laughed about digging through her phone for nude photos, and, in one of the most damning moments, said he hoped she would kill herself.** Think about that for a second. The guy responsible for finding out what actually happened had already made up his mind before the investigation even started. And he wasn't keeping that bias to himself—he was texting it to people. Joking about it. Making it impossible to argue that he had conducted an objective investigation. And that wasn't even the worst of it. Proctor had undisclosed personal connections to key people involved in the case. His own sister was friends with members of the Albert family—the same family that owned the house where John O'Keefe was last seen alive. His family knew them socially. And yet, he never disclosed this. He took the case, took control of the evidence, and built a case against Karen Read while having direct ties to the very people who could have been alternative suspects. Then there was the taillight evidence. The prosecution's whole theory hinged on the idea that Karen Read backed into John O'Keefe with her SUV, breaking her taillight and leaving him outside to die in the snow. But the glass fragments that allegedly proved this theory didn't make it to the crime lab for six weeks. Six weeks. And guess who was in charge of that evidence? Michael Proctor. When asked about the delay, there was no good answer. No chain of custody explanation that made sense. No reasonable justification for why a critical piece of forensic evidence in a high-profile murder case sat around for over a month before it was analyzed. The defense didn't even need to prove that the evidence had been planted—they just had to point out how incompetent and sloppy the investigation was. And Proctor had done all of their work for them. The mistrial was a disaster. But the fallout was worse. Within hours of the decision, Proctor was suspended. That was the first clue that even his own department knew he was a problem. The Massachusetts State Police don't just throw their own under the bus. It takes serious misconduct for them to cut someone loose. And by this point, they had no choice. Because once Proctor went down, he took a whole lot of other cases with him. One of the first dominoes to fall? The Ana Walshe murder trial. This was another major case where Proctor had been deeply involved—investigating the disappearance and presumed murder of Walshe by her husband, Brian. But after the Read mistrial, prosecutors dropped Proctor from their witness list. They weren't even willing to put him on the stand. Think about what that means. Prosecutors, who normally go to great lengths to protect their investigators, decided it was better to move forward without their lead detective rather than risk having him testify. Then came the defense attorneys lining up to challenge other convictions. Proctor had worked on multiple murder cases, and now, anyone convicted in those cases had a potential argument for appeal. If Proctor had lied, manipulated evidence, or acted with bias in the Read case, who's to say he hadn't done it before? By late 2024, the Massachusetts State Police were scrambling. They launched internal investigations not just into Proctor, but **into his superiors—**the people who had allowed him to operate without oversight. They needed to figure out who knew what and when. And once they started digging, it became clear that Proctor wasn't the only problem. The truth is, he was never operating alone. And that brings us back to Sandra Birchmore. Sandra Birchmore was 23 years old, pregnant, and terrified. She had been manipulated for years by a man with a badge—Officer Matthew Farwell, a cop she had known since she was a teenager, a man who had groomed her since she was 13 or 14 years old under the guise of a police mentorship program. By 2021, she was pregnant with Farwell's child. Days later, she was found dead in her apartment. The official cause? Suicide. The police wasted no time shutting the case down. No suspicious circumstances. No deep dive into her relationship with Farwell. Just a quick, convenient conclusion that kept everything under wraps. And guess who oversaw that investigation? The same Massachusetts State Police unit that Michael Proctor worked for. It would take three years for the truth to come out. When federal investigators finally stepped in, they re-examined the crime scene, the autopsy, and Birchmore's relationship with Farwell. What they found contradicted the original ruling completely. Sandra Birchmore hadn't died by suicide. She had been strangled. Her death had been staged. The scene manipulated to look like something it wasn't. And when that became undeniable, Matthew Farwell was arrested and charged with murder in August 2024. This should have been the moment when the Massachusetts State Police admitted failure. But instead, they scrambled to explain how they had gotten it so wrong. And that's where things start to look uncomfortably familiar. The same people involved in burying the Birchmore case had direct ties to the Read investigation. Lieutenant John Fanning, Detective Brian Tully, and Sergeant Yuri Bukhenik—all senior officers **in Proctor's chain of command during the Read case—**had connections to the Stoughton Police Department, the same department where Farwell worked. This wasn't a coincidence. By the time Proctor was fired in March 2025, it wasn't about just him anymore. It was about all the people who had allowed him to operate unchecked for years. And the fallout was just beginning. Because once people started asking who had protected Proctor, they started realizing he was just one piece of a much bigger problem. A problem that wasn't going away. Want to listen to ALL of our podcasts AD-FREE? Subscribe through APPLE PODCASTS, and try it for three days free: https://tinyurl.com/ycw626tj Follow Our Other Cases: https://www.truecrimetodaypod.com The latest on The Downfall of Diddy, The Trial of Karen Read, The Murder Of Maddie Soto, Catching the Long Island Serial Killer, Awaiting Admission: BTK's Unconfessed Crimes, Delphi Murders: Inside the Crime, Chad & Lori Daybell, The Murder of Ana Walshe, Alex Murdaugh, Bryan Kohberger, Lucy Letby, Kouri Richins, Malevolent Mormon Mommys, The Menendez Brothers: Quest For Justice, The Murder of Stephen Smith, The Murder of Madeline Kingsbury, The Murder Of Sandra Birchmore, and much more! Listen at https://www.truecrimetodaypod.com

Michael Proctor had everything a cop could want—respect, power, and a reputation that, for years, seemed untouchable. But by March 2025, he wasn't just out of a job—he was a liability. Fired. Disgraced. Publicly humiliated in a way few law enforcement officers ever are. And it all comes back to one thing: the way he handled the Karen Read case. Or rather, how spectacularly he mishandled it. Proctor's downfall wasn't a quick and clean dismissal. This wasn't one of those “effective immediately” situations where a cop gets caught doing something catastrophic and is gone by the next morning. No, this was a slow-motion train wreck. A case study in watching someone who thought they were untouchable get tangled in their own arrogance, their own bias, and their own mistakes. It started with a mistrial in July 2024—a high-profile, publicly scrutinized moment where Proctor didn't just look bad on the stand, he became the story. His testimony wasn't just shaky; it was an unmitigated disaster. Prosecutors must have known it was coming because the moment his text messages came out, it was game over. These weren't just any texts. Proctor, the lead investigator in the Karen Read case, the man responsible for gathering evidence and ensuring a fair and unbiased investigation, repeatedly called the defendant a "wack-job ct," openly mocked her, laughed about digging through her phone for nude photos, and, in one of the most damning moments, said he hoped she would kill herself.** Think about that for a second. The guy responsible for finding out what actually happened had already made up his mind before the investigation even started. And he wasn't keeping that bias to himself—he was texting it to people. Joking about it. Making it impossible to argue that he had conducted an objective investigation. And that wasn't even the worst of it. Proctor had undisclosed personal connections to key people involved in the case. His own sister was friends with members of the Albert family—the same family that owned the house where John O'Keefe was last seen alive. His family knew them socially. And yet, he never disclosed this. He took the case, took control of the evidence, and built a case against Karen Read while having direct ties to the very people who could have been alternative suspects. Then there was the taillight evidence. The prosecution's whole theory hinged on the idea that Karen Read backed into John O'Keefe with her SUV, breaking her taillight and leaving him outside to die in the snow. But the glass fragments that allegedly proved this theory didn't make it to the crime lab for six weeks. Six weeks. And guess who was in charge of that evidence? Michael Proctor. When asked about the delay, there was no good answer. No chain of custody explanation that made sense. No reasonable justification for why a critical piece of forensic evidence in a high-profile murder case sat around for over a month before it was analyzed. The defense didn't even need to prove that the evidence had been planted—they just had to point out how incompetent and sloppy the investigation was. And Proctor had done all of their work for them. The mistrial was a disaster. But the fallout was worse. Within hours of the decision, Proctor was suspended. That was the first clue that even his own department knew he was a problem. The Massachusetts State Police don't just throw their own under the bus. It takes serious misconduct for them to cut someone loose. And by this point, they had no choice. Because once Proctor went down, he took a whole lot of other cases with him. One of the first dominoes to fall? The Ana Walshe murder trial. This was another major case where Proctor had been deeply involved—investigating the disappearance and presumed murder of Walshe by her husband, Brian. But after the Read mistrial, prosecutors dropped Proctor from their witness list. They weren't even willing to put him on the stand. Think about what that means. Prosecutors, who normally go to great lengths to protect their investigators, decided it was better to move forward without their lead detective rather than risk having him testify. Then came the defense attorneys lining up to challenge other convictions. Proctor had worked on multiple murder cases, and now, anyone convicted in those cases had a potential argument for appeal. If Proctor had lied, manipulated evidence, or acted with bias in the Read case, who's to say he hadn't done it before? By late 2024, the Massachusetts State Police were scrambling. They launched internal investigations not just into Proctor, but **into his superiors—**the people who had allowed him to operate without oversight. They needed to figure out who knew what and when. And once they started digging, it became clear that Proctor wasn't the only problem. The truth is, he was never operating alone. And that brings us back to Sandra Birchmore. Sandra Birchmore was 23 years old, pregnant, and terrified. She had been manipulated for years by a man with a badge—Officer Matthew Farwell, a cop she had known since she was a teenager, a man who had groomed her since she was 13 or 14 years old under the guise of a police mentorship program. By 2021, she was pregnant with Farwell's child. Days later, she was found dead in her apartment. The official cause? Suicide. The police wasted no time shutting the case down. No suspicious circumstances. No deep dive into her relationship with Farwell. Just a quick, convenient conclusion that kept everything under wraps. And guess who oversaw that investigation? The same Massachusetts State Police unit that Michael Proctor worked for. It would take three years for the truth to come out. When federal investigators finally stepped in, they re-examined the crime scene, the autopsy, and Birchmore's relationship with Farwell. What they found contradicted the original ruling completely. Sandra Birchmore hadn't died by suicide. She had been strangled. Her death had been staged. The scene manipulated to look like something it wasn't. And when that became undeniable, Matthew Farwell was arrested and charged with murder in August 2024. This should have been the moment when the Massachusetts State Police admitted failure. But instead, they scrambled to explain how they had gotten it so wrong. And that's where things start to look uncomfortably familiar. The same people involved in burying the Birchmore case had direct ties to the Read investigation. Lieutenant John Fanning, Detective Brian Tully, and Sergeant Yuri Bukhenik—all senior officers **in Proctor's chain of command during the Read case—**had connections to the Stoughton Police Department, the same department where Farwell worked. This wasn't a coincidence. By the time Proctor was fired in March 2025, it wasn't about just him anymore. It was about all the people who had allowed him to operate unchecked for years. And the fallout was just beginning. Because once people started asking who had protected Proctor, they started realizing he was just one piece of a much bigger problem. A problem that wasn't going away. Want to listen to ALL of our podcasts AD-FREE? Subscribe through APPLE PODCASTS, and try it for three days free: https://tinyurl.com/ycw626tj Follow Our Other Cases: https://www.truecrimetodaypod.com The latest on The Downfall of Diddy, The Trial of Karen Read, The Murder Of Maddie Soto, Catching the Long Island Serial Killer, Awaiting Admission: BTK's Unconfessed Crimes, Delphi Murders: Inside the Crime, Chad & Lori Daybell, The Murder of Ana Walshe, Alex Murdaugh, Bryan Kohberger, Lucy Letby, Kouri Richins, Malevolent Mormon Mommys, The Menendez Brothers: Quest For Justice, The Murder of Stephen Smith, The Murder of Madeline Kingsbury, The Murder Of Sandra Birchmore, and much more! Listen at https://www.truecrimetodaypod.com