ReDiscover You: Dating and Life When Starting Again

If the conversation stopped without expectation, and you are left wondering what happened, you got ghosted. Ghosting leaves you with a feeling of loss with no means of closure. You are forever left wondering what went wrong. Because the conversation was halted on one end, there are questions that never get answered. In the absence of closure, questioning yourself is a natural response. These questions often sabotage your own self-worth. In today's episode, I'll cover tips for picking yourself back up after being ghosted, and ways to make sure you don't become a ghost to someone else. 

Ever wonder, is my date giving me an honest answer, or just telling me what I want to hear?We’re all looking for ways to find if that other person might be the one you’re looking for. There’s a beautiful quote by Maya Angelou that says, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”The problem is, we are all on our best behavior on a date.  Being observant allows you to learn about your dates as they show you who they are.  While you want to have a positive, enjoyable experience, getting to know someone at a deeper level should be at the heart of your dating. The longer you experience life with anyone, the more you will see their true  personality and character. We’re all human, and we all have flaws. Some you can live with, and some you shouldn’t. You want to see those flaws as early as possible. Today's episode will offer real life examples that will help you get to know your dates at a deeper level.

Today I share 9 tips that will help you build confidence. Each one of these has the power to be a game changer!

Why Meet for Coffee?Many would argue with me that meeting for coffee is no first date at all. That's okay, I'm not here to argue. In today's episode, I'll offer some surprising advantages to a coffee date, and why I believe it's the best way to meet for the first time. Along with those tips, I'll offer suggestions that will help make every first date a success!

Your perspective is your reality. That doesn't make it reality, though. Seeking a more positive outlook will enhance your life and the lives of those you date and fall in love with. How does perspective affect your dating life?1) How you approach anything has great bearing on how successful you are at it.2) The perspective you have as you face anything plays into how quickly you give up when the going gets tough. And a spoiler alert here. Dating is tough. 3)People are naturally drawn to others with a positive outlook!

Those who struggle the most with getting back out there often describe themselves as shy. Today I want to shed light on the difference between being shy and being an introvert. Breaking these differences down may help you see yourself in a different light. Understanding myself better helped me to recognize why I avoided certain aspects of socializing, like meeting and mingling. Recognizing why I reacted the way I did in specific situations helped me make sense of it all, and I expect it will do the same for you!At first glance shyness and introversion seem to be similar, but the scientific community says they are unrelated. Together, let's discover the difference.Are you struggling with shyness, your confidence, or finding love? My struggle to start over changed my life in incredible ways. I wrote ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? so that no one else would ever have to go through it on their own. Check it out at ReDiscoverDating.com, on Amazon or your Kindle app today.

What do your dog, your camera, a book, a scarf, your guitar and two dollar bills have in common? People are looking to connect with others. Today I'll show you how to use accessories to let others start the conversation! Use these to help to break the ice anywhere, including your dating profile, standing in line at the checkout counter, or in virtual meetings and Zoom conversations. This tool gives others a reason to break the ice with you. Do you ever wish other people would start the conversation? I'll teach you how to make that happen today!“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” -Tony Robbins

The images you choose to display on your online dating profile can make or break your dating possibilities. Don't miss out on 12 ways to be sure you make the right choices!

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”What Was I Afraid Of?Dancing was a fear of mine. My real fear was embarrassing myself on the dance floor. One night at a local Meetup, I had a lightbulb moment. Those who danced were meeting far more people than I was. Before this day, I had no intention of ever getting out on the dance floor. I knew this was another chance for me to step out of my comfort zone. I had no idea what a difference this one decision would make.But I Just Can’t…Often I take away my own ability to do something just by saying so. We all have something we say we “can’t do.” When I say that I can’t do something, I take away the possibility of it altogether. What’s holding you back?The movie “Back to the Future" highlights how tiny decisions are affecting his whole life, as Marty sees how his life would have been different by making alternative choices. He is warned that the slightest incidents while he is time traveling could change the entire course of human history. This movie gives a great visual illustration of how a slight event shift now can alter your very real life later. In a real sense, that’s what you have the opportunity to do. While you can’t go back in time, you can redirect the course you are on, and change your future forever. Any decision you make, including doing nothing at all, affects your future. You are writing the script to your life, and the decisions you make, one by one, affect the script.

What's wrong with attraction? Nothing, but it's not the whole picture. Yet the main hinge of dating sites is visual attraction. Today we take a look at attraction on dating sites versus personal connection, and how to weigh in on attraction and character. When I talk to people about attraction, the topic is usually dominated by surface level characteristics. This is a concern when using online dating, because many of the current apps are built around physical attraction as the centerpiece, where you swipe right or left simply from a static image. It’s easy to get drawn in by that pretty face or the strong jawline, leaving everything else out. Swipe right or left at light speed. I want to help you find a relationship that will grow and get stronger in time. When you are looking for a great relationship, consider what features and character traits will grow more important with time.Are you struggling with shyness, your confidence, or how to find love when starting over? My struggle to start again changed my life in incredible ways. I wrote ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? So that no one else would ever have to go through it on their own. Check it out at ReDiscoverDating.com, on Amazon or your Kindle app."Beauty is an attraction, personality is attachment" - Anonymous

If you have found yourself wrestling with isolation, or too much time on your hands, this episode will offer a new solution-based focus as we roll into the holiday season. Holidays could be a tough time even before Covid-19.How you deal with the individual struggles you are facing will have a big impact on your perspective, and therefore your happiness. Your happiness and perspective play important roles in the possibilities for your love life. When you aren’t challenging our mind, your mind will start challenging you, leading to sleepless nights, stress, anxiety or depression. A new project is a real solution-focused way to see yourself through the challenge of a holiday season, isolation.Listen in for some new ways to kill the holiday blues!

How can I make a great first impression?Today I'll offer my top ten rules for making a great first impression. These will help you whether you are on a virtual first date in person or meeting in person! Making a great first date isn't all about where you go, or what grand activity you choose, but how you show up and connect!

Until we return for the start of season 2 in late October, I thought I'd share the top ten most popular episodes so far. A great chance to catch up on shows you missed!

Do you have the conversation skills and relatability to create an engaging conversation any time? The bridge to deeper connection often comes through conversation. Having good conversational skills makes you appear more:confidentinterestingintelligentToday I'll discuss phases three and four of conversation, and why all the magic happens here. We will also cover when to bring up faith and politics, and how storytelling can be a game changer!We all seek to date the best possible person. In order to do that you need to bring something to the table. Good quality conversation helps level the playing field. It can make up for other areas that aren’t your strengths.

Learn how the Discovery Phase of conversation opens the doors to all the possibilities!What to listen for in any early communication that will be a game changer!In a conversation, do you know what you should be doing at least 50% of the time? Are you a talker or a listener? Learn the best approach for each!Learn the powerful technique to show you you are engaged in every word they say! Understand these 5 tips to make the most of the Discovery Phase of conversation!

We all want the magic words that give us the best chance of opening the doors to positive interaction. Are you ready for them? Learn the only three things you need to remember to break the ice with anyone, anywhere! Even if you are isolated due to COVID-19, you can use these techniques in a Meetup virtual event or to spark an online dating conversation. Learn 4 tips that highlight you in a positive light!Plus, these four tips will open doors all by themselves, by setting you apart from the crowd. Learn how you can even plan ahead for maximum impact!You can employ these icebreakers the same way no matter the situation, opening a conversation at a wedding, a Skype virtual meeting, coffee shop, or in business. Ice-breakers are powerful tool in building friendships, business relations, or finding a date.Today’s Podcast is sponsored by ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? The book, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, is a step-by-step guide to help you rebuild your confidence, recreate your social life, and find love again.

What are the secrets of those who are good at conversation?An interesting discussion is an amazing way to create deeper connection. Today we explore the 4 phases of conversation. Understanding these phases will keep you from making common mistakes when you are getting to know someone. Where does all the magic happen in a conversation?Even if you have the gift of gab, hearing the stages of natural conversation will bring clarity to knowing what to say and when to say it! Knowing this will give you an edge!The ability to hold a good conversation, one that is satisfying to both of you, portrays:confidenceinterestintelligenceconnectionThis is part one of four on improving your conversation skills!

If falling in love doesn’t make a marriage work, what does?What can you take from last week's Top Ten Reason's for Divorce to help you know if you are dating the right one, or the wrong one?Today I’m going to share 4 important takeaways from the Top Ten episode, as well as the common thread that runs between many of them. Knowing this one secret can help you find and keep love!

As a single person, can understanding the Top Ten reasons for divorce save me future heartache? You bet! There is a lot that can be learned from the most common reasons for a split up. Did you know approximately 45% of first marriages end in divorce? Second marriages come in at 60%, and 73% of third marriages end in the big D. Sounds scary, but it's far from hopeless. How can recognizing the most common reasons for a breakup keep you from becoming a future statistic?Check out today's episode to find the hidden threads that run between many reasons for divorce. Recognizing them can help you find and keep a great relationship!

Today I'll challenge you to consider how that pocket calculator could be keeping you from meeting someone, or turning them away even after you have. You will learn why:your device stops you from making the crucial first connection pointsimply having your cell phone present reduces engagementanother common phone accessory may have you disengagedYou will learn how:your phone interferes with dating and relatingyour device keeps you from doing these 3 thingsAnd I will show you:5 Ways to improve your dating connectability The single best technique I've found to stay more engaged at home

On our second week covering rejection, I'll share two additional tips that will change the way you look at rejection, and wrap up our series on "Building Your Dating Resilience."Find out how your reaction to rejection is what fuels the fire for heartache, and how it begins to break down your dating resilience. Rejection is a normal part of dating, and the only way past it is through it. I'll share today how rejection could have made me miss out on love altogether. Hindsight really is 20/20, and it’s easy looking back to say that all the rejections I faced were just a part of finding the right person. It's true, but when you are in the midst of it, it still hurts. In my time writing, researching and dating, I met many wonderful people. I met people that could have made good partners. At times, I asked myself if I was just being too picky; if I needed to lower the bar a little? Looking back, if I had not taken the extra time to find someone with deep compatibility, I could have ended up with a very different life. What could cause you to give up one day early? What could have you settle one day too soon? Getting back up never gets easy. But it is worth it in the end. It is why I believe resilience is one of your most powerful dating tools.I hope I have inspired you to keep going when you are not sure all this is worth the heartache. In those moments, I remind you not to give up. Something great awaits you.Are you struggling with shyness and confidence in dating when starting over? My struggle to start again changed my life in incredible ways.I wrote ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? so that no one else would ever have to go through this on their own. Check it out today at ReDiscoverDating.com.“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”- Ted Rueben

Fearing RejectionBuilding Your Dating Resilience, Part 4 of 5Season 1, Episode 17Is the possibility of rejection stopping you from being your best?If you are dating, you’ve no doubt faced hurt, disappointment, rejection, and a myriad of other emotions that have left you questioning if there are better ways to spend your free time. Building your Dating Resilience will help you stare down adversity, allowing you to roll with the punches dating and life throw at you. Today I share with you my first rejection after getting back in the dating game, and what I learned from the many that followed. Dealing with RejectionThe emotions that follow rejection fuel the flame for more hurt, and a string of disaster movies playing in your head for weeks to come. I was aware that if I didn’t date, I could avoid the discomfort altogether, but that would keep me from experiencing the possibility of love and partnership that I was seeking. What’s Behind the Feeling We all Hate?The most interesting thing about rejection is where it originates. We look at rejection as something done to us by another person. Rejection is less about what the person says to you, and more about what you say to yourself when they stop talking. When they stop, that critical voice in your head starts. And when your critical voice talks, it reminds you of all the negative things you already feel about yourself. It’s your own critical voice afterward that brings on the hurt and emotion.The imagined rejection would start the conversation going in my head. The doubt about me already existed. Being turned down, or even imagining it, kicks off that negative internal dialogue. In most rejections, you never get a clear cut reason why you are being rejected. Without a reason your mind goes to whatever you see as your shortcoming. It took me a while to realize I can’t be all things to all people, nor do I want to be. I was far from perfect, but to the right person, I could be a perfect match. I just had to realize that and not give up searching each time I got stung with another letdown.Steps to Building Your Rejection ResilienceIt’s a positive thing that rejection hurts. It means that your heart’s in it. It’s important to you, as it was to me. I never got to the place where I enjoyed rejection, but I did learn how my own feelings added fuel to the fire. Today I'll share the tips that have helped myself and others look at rejection from an angel you've likely never thought of! Today’s Podcast is sponsored by ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? The book, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, is a step-by-step guide to help you rebuild your confidence, recreate your social life, and find love again.“The fear of rejection is worse than rejection itself.” – Nora ProfitHWhPpoQBb8z1KEUtj73B

How Long Will This Take?Building Your Dating Resilience, Part 3Season 1, Episode 16ReDiscover You: Creating confidence, stepping out from shyness, expanding your world and finding love when you’re starting anew.Most of us would agree that dating can be stressful, and we all handle that stress differently. Hurt, rejection and a stream of emotions are all part of dating. We get our hopes up, only to have them come crashing down. Having the ability to get back up after you’ve been knocked down is a key component to building a stronger, more resilient you.Today I'll tackle: Resilience Breaker #3 Having a short-sighted viewDating apps make connecting with other singles easier than ever. These quicker connection points are good at keeping you engaged and feeling instant gratification, but faster results don’t necessarily equate to better connections. Just more possibilities quickly. There’s a big difference.Learn How a short-sighted approach could hurt your chances of finding loveResilience Breaker #4-Believing “There is No One Out There For Me”If you’ve been dating a while, you may have already begun to feel that there really isn’t anyone out there compatible for you. Your friends, seeing the struggle, offer helpful advice like, “You’ll meet The One when you stop searching for them.” That may work in the movies, but it’s not a good plan. It’s a little like sitting home, waiting for a job offer. It's not likely to happen!COVID-19 has changed the landscape of dating for now. That doesn’t mean you have to stop searching. Don’t let these times dictate your opportunities! There are more great singles out there than you think. Learn how your view might be stifling your ability to meet them!Dating feels like a marathon of misconnections. Making the right connection seems impossible no matter how hard you try. That’s how you will feel right up until you meet the right person. Don’t give up one day short!Today’s Podcast is sponsored by ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? The book, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, is a step-by-step guide to help you rebuild your confidence, recreate your social life, and find love again.“When you finally meet the right one for you, it suddenly becomes clear why everyone else was so wrong”-Steve Maraboli

ReDiscover You: Creating confidence, stepping out from shyness, expanding your world and finding love when you’re starting over. When it comes to dating, resilience is one of your most important tools. Resilience is defined as your ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. Being resilient doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges. Instead, it means that you will be able to see your way through them. It isn’t something you are either born with or not. You can improve your ability to bounce back, and that’s where we’ll pick up today. My storyEarly on, I struggled with the feeling that I wouldn’t be a good dating candidate to the kind of person I was hoping to meet. As I began filling out my first online dating profile, it struck me that I wasn’t making the money I once was. I let this begin to undermine my confidence. How could I measure up to those other guys out here making all the big bucks? Why would anyone want to date me? This was the question I began asking myself over and over as I beat myself up over this. Focusing on the negatives turned my attention from the bigger picture. I was no longer seeing my positives because I had put focus on my negatives. As I began writing and researching my book, I found I wasn’t alone. ComparisonitisAt times, we all compare ourselves to the world around us. It’s human nature. Deep inside, most of us are afraid we aren’t enough. We don’t really want anyone else to know that we feel this way about ourselves, and we often think these feelings are unique to us. So we keep quiet. While we are keeping quiet, we are also looking around to the outside world for a frame of reference. While some people can use comparison as a healthy way to improve themselves, Others struggle with it, and it can shut them down. Which one are you?It's easy to think “I’m not as good looking” as them, or as social. I don’t have the income, the fancy car, or whatever you find yourself comparing. It’s easy to get caught up spending far too much time focusing on what is wrong with me, and not enough on what is great about who God made me. If you can’t find value in yourself, you won’t see why anyone would want to be with you. This can keep you from bouncing back. You’ll go out less, pursue less often, and are more likely to settle into poor quality relationships So, how do I get past these feelings so I can more easily bounce back?Join us today to unlock your dating resilience!Today’s Podcast is sponsored by ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? The book, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, is a step-by-step guide to help you rebuild your confidence, recreate your social life, and find love again."Comparison is the thief of joy"-Theodore Roosevelt

Fear of Starting AgainPart 1 of “Building Your Dating Resilience” Resilience is one of your most important dating tools. But, how can you increase dating resilience? Having the ability to bounce back from difficult situations can make the difference in whether you give up or stay in for the long haul. This is the first in a series of four, discussing Fear of Getting Started Again. I don’t need to tell you that dating brings its own slew of difficult situations. I will offer some simple but powerful strategies that can help you get back up, often before you’ve even gotten knocked down.How do you plan your Resilience? Dating and attraction can bring many opportunities for emotion, pain and rejection. Knowing what pitfalls lie ahead can help you prepare for them in advance.By preparing in advance, you can increase your bounce back. Having resilience won’t keep you from experiencing pain and disappointment, but it will help you bounce back more quickly from it. Resilience Breaker #1-Fear of Getting StartedIf you are struggling with getting back out there, you are dealing with some degree of fear. You have negative past experiences that have made you think twice about jumping in again. Even if you think you can’t, you have the ability to bounce back from the hurt of your past and do this. The Bullhorn in Your EarIf the thought of getting back out there makes your stomach churn, I understand. There is hope, though. Some people love dating, meeting new people, and the excitement of new relationships. For those of us who dread the thought, much of the problem lies in what you are telling yourself. It is not whether you feel anxious about dating. Most of us do. It’s likely that part of your brain is screaming at you with a bullhorn, “You’ll never make it. You can’t do this!” The biggest hurdle for most of us is a mental one.What’s keeping you from bouncing back and getting started again?Fear ImaginedAnxiety provides a set of movies that get played over and again in your head. Daydreams, experiences, and concerns about the future all play into anxiety. You visualize again and again how this concern will negatively impact your life.Anything new, from giving a speech to recreating your social life can bring on feelings of fear. The first time I went out to a social event after my divorce, I was terrified. My heart was racing, and I nearly turned around and went home. I knew though, that I couldn’t get where I wanted to go by sitting home any longer. When you experience a new situation, your brain goes on high alert, pumping you up with chemicals like adrenaline. These brain chemicals have no place to go since there isn’t a real danger to flee from. The stress builds up as you sit, sweating bullets. When these imagined fears strike, your response is often the same “fight or flight” reaction as if there was a real danger. The feeling can leave you with sweaty palms and a racing heart. We’ve all felt it. The worst thing you can do is to avoid the very thing you fear. When you avoid getting back out there, you leave it at arms reach, where it will always remain uncomfortable and impossible. As long as you allow it to remain an “I can’t”, it remains a big deal. The more you attempt the very thing that strikes fear in you, the less it remains insurmountable. Today's Episode is All About Building Your Resilience from Your Past Relationships to Start the New Journey Awaiting You.“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” -Dale Carnegie

What are you unwilling to deal with in another person? What traits do you want to steer clear of as you search for love?In today’s episode, we are going to consider your Deal-Breakers list. When you date without first defining what is important to you in a relationship, it is much easier to get swayed by a person who doesn’t have the qualities and values you are seeking. The dead end relationships created this way suck time and energy from finding someone who would be a better fit, or could lead you to give up in frustration. Even worse, one of these relationships could lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. Deal BreakersJust as important as the positive values I wanted to find in a mate, there were traits that I wanted to be sure I avoided at all costs, no matter how exciting they seemed otherwise. . Taking the time to create a Deal-Breaker list not only helped guide me, but it also strengthened my resolve for not settling. When I was younger, I had little idea what I wanted in a relationship. The second time around I had many life experiences to pull from. After creating my Must-Have and Deal-Breaker lists, I had a clear vision of the kind of person I wanted to meet. Dating is a roller coaster ride of emotion, and most people you meet won’t be a good fit. Yet it’s easy to overlook things in the excitement of meeting someone who shows great interest in you. Especially when faced with a charming personality, rugged good looks, or a stunning figure. These lists can keep you on course.My goal is to help you to find the right one, not just anyone. Having a clear view of the kind of person you want to find will help you know what to look for, where to focus your energy, and who to eliminate. Today’s Podcast is sponsored by ReDiscover Dating, What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? This book, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, is a step-by-step guide to help you rebuild your confidence, recreate your social life, and find love again.I want to thank Enya Agerholm for today’s music. You can find out more about Enya at enyaagerholm.com. Don’t fall in love with someone who says the right things. Fall in love with someone who does the right things-Robert Tew

Today we are going to create a Must-Have list. Defining your Must-Haves' can help keep you on track in the search for a great partner. It’s important to consider what you want before starting any relationship. It’s much easier to get swayed by a person who doesn’t have the qualities and values you’re seeking if you haven’t considered what’s most important to you upfront. Not having a list may steal time and energy away from finding someone who is a better fit, and could leave you in a long-term relationship with someone who isn’t a good match.What I didn’t want to do was go out on a Friday night, meet someone who was really cute and made me laugh, and then let that excitement try to drive a relationship that wasn’t a good fit. Yet this is the way many new relationships start.What I was looking for in a mate differed completely from what I was looking for when I was young. I had grown a lot and had many experiences since then. So, why would I want to seek out a relationship in the same way as I would have when I was a kid?What had my experiences shown me? What did I know about myself that I didn’t know when I was younger? How did I want a future relationship to differ from my previous ones?Taking these questions, and adding them to what I’d shared with you in last week’s episode, we will began building a vision of what you want in a relationship. Could I find someone who could match up? I wasn’t sure, but I knew that these were important characteristics that went far beyond what our music tastes or favorite movies were. What characteristics would someone that fit well with me naturally have?When I met someone new, I was tied up in the emotion and excitement of the moment. We all have busy lives, and even in the best of situations, I might get to spend a few hours a week getting to know them. Keeping a list of the things that were of great importance meant that I didn’t miss out on anything in the moments I was spending with them. I could use that list as a reminder to ask questions and steer conversation in the right direction to better understand this person. I didn’t use my list as an interrogation tool, but as a reminder to weave these areas of importance into conversations that helped me assess critical characteristics and values. Your list, whether a paper list or a digital note, is a way of staying on track, and not missing out on the small details that can get overlooked in the excitement. It will help you stay grounded to what’s most important to you, so you can make objective decisions in the face of incoming information and excitement. Science tells us that, while we like to think we make logical decisions, we often base decisions on emotion. What you feel in your heart is important. But you need to be able to counterbalance that with rational decision-making to create long-term happiness together. In his book, The Five Love Languages, the Secret to Love That Lasts, Gary Chapman tells us of research done by Dorothy Tennov on the feeling of being in love. Dr. Tennov’s research found that the in-love experience lasts about two years. So when you eventually come down out of the clouds (and you will), you want to be happy with the decisions you’ve made. Today, we will look at the characteristics and values that you deem most important. What traits are important to you in another person? What core values are you looking for in a mate?

Ever catch yourself daydreaming about what a great relationship would look and feel like? Have you considered the kind of person it would take to create a deep connection with you? Today we’ll begin to dive into that question in part one of three in a series entitled Who am I Looking For? It's easy to overlook differences in personality and values in the excitement of meeting someone new, which can lead to big problems later. Having the ready reference of a Must-Have and Deal-Breaker list can steer you back on course time and again. The old saying is true that, “It’s hard to read the label from inside the bottle.” When you meet someone new, there was often a combination of emotion, chemistry and excitement all swirling around in my head. In the rush of excitement, little details that could play a major role in long-term happiness (or unhappiness) can get overlooked. It’s harder to decipher the important qualities in those moments of excitement. A list can keep you grounded in the presence of a charming personality who isn't a good fit for you. Everyone's list looks different, based on your decisions, hopes and values.Many times I’ve heard people say they will just know it when they meet the right one. I’ve watched as those very people cycled in and out of relationships that felt good on the surface, but didn’t hold water. When you get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship, it can be very difficult to see the forest for the trees. ChemistryChemistry is a term that often gets tossed around when the topic of love comes up. We are all interested in finding someone who makes our heart skip a beat. Brain chemistry is a powerful drug. While chemistry is exciting, it alone won’t sustain a relationship in the long run.CompatibilityChemistry is the stronger attractor, but compatibility is the glue that binds a relationship. When two people hold similar values and have complementary characteristics, their views of life are more compatible for happiness. It is far more important than chemistry for long-term happiness. Knowing what you are looking for and why you are looking for it will act as a guiding light in your search for a compatible partner. Doing so will not only lead you toward the right person; it will give you the ability to see who to steer away from. Today's Podcast is sponsored by ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? The book, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, is a step-by-step guide to help you rebuild your confidence, recreate your social life, and find love again.

Season 1, Episode 10Find out how the smallest detail almost kept me from meeting my wife, and what you should consider that could save you from missing a great relationship.When we read a dating profile, meet someone at a party, or go out on a first date, we rarely know much about them. So, we tend to piece together the tiny bits of information we can get our hands on about who they are. Faced with few details to go on, we can make inaccurate judgement calls and overlook great people. Some will argue that you should just throw everything out there, and if they don’t like you, they don’t like you. But why get tossed out before you even get in the game? I hate to say it, but this is a competition. The selection process often takes place subconsciously, and the difference may be trivial details or “feelings” that you get from what you read in their profile. Dating is a numbers game.. If you are serious about finding a great relationship, you must make sure you are using the right search criteria.Why get yourself tossed out before your great features are weighed in on? Why toss out amazing candidates before we’ve gotten to see them for who they really are?

Season 1, Episode 9Today I’ll introduce you to 7 confidence tips to help jumpstart your journey.I see confidence built up on three pedestals; Thinking, Knowing, and Doing. These tips and strategies all come from my three tiered approach. Confidence is something that any of us can attain. It’s really a change of perspective, brought on by taking action. These actions allow you to learn and grow your competence. ThinkingRecognize the negative statements you are making about getting back out there are simply opinions, and not truth. KnowingIf you know who it is you are seeking to meet, the dating process becomes less chaotic. It is so important to know the type of partner you are looking for before you ever set out to meet anyone. Knowing who you are looking for makes it easier in several ways.DoingC. S. Lewis once said “Sometimes the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you have it already.”- C.S. LewisDoing is taking action. It's where the rubber meets the road. Any change in confidence requires you to take action. Your action plan here for Doing consists of five parts. They work equally well for both men and women. Each of these allows you to take a proactive role in your confidence-building. I discuss the Three Confidence Considerations, and how they apply to your social and dating life.You Must Take Action to Make a ChangeKnowledge alone won’t change your behavior. Unless your habits change, nothing changes. Take one step at a time and continue reminding yourself that these small steps will change your perspective, your confidence, and your world.

Season One, Episode EightDoes the thought of starting again feel overwhelming?Today I'll discuss how too many concerns can piggyback and keep you frozen in place, and how to turn off the brain overload by shifting your focus by: recognizing fear imaginedpicking a lane and going for itStaying focused on the next stepIf you are having a hard time dating again, this episode will provide good insight and real-life experience. This is the final episode in a series of five entitled, "What's Keeping You From Getting Back Out There?"

Season One, Episode SevenEver question whether you are a good catch?Today I am discussing concerns that often have singles wondering whether they are enough. Worries over weight, looks and finances are just a few of those covered in today's episode. I will be offering tips that will help you see past these so you can keep moving in the right direction. This episode is the fourth in a series of five entitled, "What's Keeping You From Getting Back Out There?" In these episodes I am exploring common concerns that may be keeping you on the fence about starting again, or at the least keeping you from from going all in.

Season One, Episode SixTurn on the news and we can see how COVID-19 is affecting the health and well-being of the entire world. As a single person, it may have left you feeling isolated. Could there be some hidden advantages of being all cooped up?Definitely!I believe right now is a great time to throw your hat into the ring to try online dating, Meetup groups, Facebook groups and hobby groups. I'll tell you how to achieve all that while staying safe.We are all in this together; yet we’re apart. How can we use this time to our advantage? Learn 9 Advantages to making connections during the pandemic!5 positives that will come from making it happen:Meet people on a deeper level while staying home.Build on your confidence.Step out of your comfort zone.Improve your social skills.Make new connections.Meet people without the cost of a first date, while staying safe.Create connections that will last beyond the pandemic, all while social distancing.

Season One, Episode FiveIn today's episode we discuss staying safe online, while dating, and in relationships. We also talk about my scammer experience along with and social media awareness. Fear will keep you stuck, but knowledge is empowering. Whether you are just thinking about dating again or need a refresher on staying safe, this episode will provide good insights and real-life experience. This episode is the third in a series of five entitled, "What's Keeping You From Getting Back Out There?" In these episodes we explore common concerns that may be keeping you on the fence about starting again, or at the least keeping you from from going all in.

Season One, Episode FourPart two of, "What's Keeping You From Getting Back Out There?" In this episode we explore how shyness and social anxiety can hold you back, and the first steps in overcoming them. Are you struggling with...Meeting new people?Overthinking it?Concerns of failure or rejection?Approach anxiety?What do you say, "I Cant" to?Together we will look at easy ways to get started, the role your perspective plays and reinterpreting failure. Each step you take, from stepping out from shyness to reaching past your fear of rejection will strengthen you. You can rewrite your future as you do.

Season One, Episode ThreeThis episode is the first in a series of five entitled, "What's Keeping You From Getting Back Out There?" In these episodes we will explore common concerns that may be keeping you on the fence about starting again, or at the least keeping you from going all in. The feeling that there are no great single people out there is a myth. But it is a myth you can choose to facilitate or not. There are so many ways to expand your world. Still today, I am discovering new ones. It’s easy to feel like all the single people are online. While it’s one place to meet people, it is not the only option.Dating is a roller coaster ride of emotion. It is a marathon of misconnections. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t anyone out there for you. I'll offer insights into expanding your world to see more possibilities!

Season 1, Episode 2 tells my story of starting over while wrestling with that little voice that says, "You can't do this!" My back story sets the tone for what's to come this season. In today’s episode, I'll share what brought me here and why it's important to what I'll be sharing this season. Through what I learned, I plan to share insights on getting back out there, overcoming shyness, gaining confidence, reinventing a social life and finding love in future episodes.I kept asking myself: “Aren’t all the good ones already taken?” “Why would there be anyone out there worth dating?” “If they were so great, they wouldn’t be single.”The good ones aren't all taken, but sometimes they aren't even looking. So you should be. I'll tell you how!ReDiscover You: Creating confidence, stepping out from shyness, expanding your world and finding love when you’re starting over.

A brief introduction to ReDiscover You: Creating confidence, stepping out from shyness, expanding your world and finding love when you’re starting over. ReDiscover You is here to help you look at life and dating from a new perspective. On today’s episode I will introduce myself and let you know what this show is all about. I have a different approach to life for men and women than just swiping right, hoping to find love.If you’ve ever felt your world is too small.If you want is a great relationship, and you aren’t willing to cut yourself short. If you’ve ever wondered if you are enough.If you are on the fence about getting back out there at all.If you’ve ever asked, “All the good ones are already taken, right?” You’ve come to the right place. Finding a great relationship isn’t easy, but you are worth it. I am here to share my starting over story along with tips and strategies about how I recreated a social life, regained confidence and ultimately found the love of my life.