Smiling Again

Sixteen years in a dysfunctional marriage, Tony never knew what he was going to find when he got home. WiIl she be dead or alive? Tony Newell shares the roller coaster of emotions that he lived through while married to an alcoholic.  He describes battling cancer as being easier. In this raw interview, Tony wholeheartedly shares all that he felt as he tried to help his wife through her recovery from alcoholism, forgetting about his own wellbeing. Then a turning point came and he started to care for himself, going from the darkness into the light. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hearing things from another perspective always  helps to improve our understanding and compassion towards others. In this episode of the Smiling Again podcast, we hear  things from another perspective as Martin Roscoe, an alcoholic in recovery, shares his recovery story and how mindful writing helped in to keep in check with where he was at in his head.  We talk about the impact his illness has had on wis wife and his two daughters.  We also can begin to draw parallels between his healing and my own healing journey, reminding us that we are all human, trying to do our best.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Breathwork is one of the most powerful tools we have to get out of our heads and into our body. Breathwork can also help change how we feel in any given moment. Just as your breath changes with your emotional state, you can change your emotional state by changing the way you breathe. Join us live as Breathwork coach Jacki Mundrawala shares how emotions can get stuck in the body and how breathwork can clear them. Join in with a simple breathwork practice.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oliver Hojas shares his story of being the big brother, growing up in a home where his mom was an active alcoholic. Challenges at home resulted in a life lacking structure and security for the children. Sent off to boarding school by the state, Oliver discovered art. After leaving school to  build his life and independence, he starting working in Zurich, where he explored different jobs which ultimately led him on a healing journey. This is a story of forgiveness, self-love, compassion and finding the courage to be the one to break the generational cycle of alcoholism in the family.  Today, Oliver is living his dream life as an inspirational artist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Do we only get one big love?  When we hold space for a very special person a love so deep that we hold on to them tight, even through the addiction, and when they are suddenly gone, its excruciating. In the months or years that follow you begin to question will I ever love again?  In this episode I'll reveal how to unleash the hope that you will find big love again. For a moment today, there was honestly a part of me that didn't feel hopeful at all about finding love again. and that's a really big thing to voice.  This is a super personal episode where i reveal the whole truth about  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trauma. When you love an addict or an alcoholic, you can experience many, many circumstances, which really can be quite traumatic. Whether it's a big trauma or a series of small traumas, which can take place over years, it has an impact on us mentally, emotionally, and physically.  Trauma can get stuck in your body and to really recover, we need to unwind and release all of that trauma.So how do we do this? Christine is going tell us how.  If there is one word that I would use to describe Christine, there's actually so many I could use, but the one that's at the top of the list is resilient.  Christine is an author.  She has written the book called Blinded by an Angel, which is her story. Christine has been a keynote speaker at mental health conferences, hospitals, addiction facilities, yoga studios, and universities, where she's openly has shared her story of resilience. Her story reached thousands of people in 2018. When she was featured in Canadian living magazine. She's also been a mentor to many in the field of addiction and recovery. She specializes in trauma informed yoga and is also the coauthor of clinical research gathered on residential treatment programs. If you have been traumatised or have held trauma in your body for a very long time, you haven't connected physically with your body. And so there's some neglect there. And the reason you probably haven't is because you don't want to feel. You have to feel the heal. Listen to the full episode to find out how. Links mentioned in this episode:Join the Blossome CommunityYou can connect with Christine on social media:Instagram- Christine YankeFacebook- Christine YankeVisit her website Blinded by an Angel: One woman's inspiring true story of resilience through grief, addiction, and trauma. (Available on Amazon Worldwide)Amazon.co.ukAmazon.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just let the whole thing go. To release the past. We must be willing to forgive, but it's easier said than done. Welcome to season two of Smiling Again, where we'll be exploring the 12 areas of self care. And today it's all about forgiveness. I will be speaking with Chad Mierau, who is the author of a novel called Surviving the crash. I have to say that I believe this is going to be a challenging conversation for many reasons, and all the more reason for us to have this talk because of the positive impact that it can have on so many. Just over six years ago, Chad lost his sister, her husband, and their two children in a car accident. They were hit by a drunk driver and in Chad's book called surviving the crash. He shares his story of forgiveness and personal personal journey of growth through that, through that experience. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Creating space is a practice that opens up your physical space as well as your time and energy to allow more room to live, to create and to enjoy life.But how do we create space beyond physical space? Creating space can be challenging, mostly because it requires us to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. It requires us to let go of things we've become comfortable with, the  familiar.  It's in the layers we shed that we find space to heal. Shedding or letting go may even feel like a loss, but remember that the space created opens us up to something new, something healthier and more joyous.Listen to this episode to discover how to create space to heal.  This is the first episode of Season 2 which is all about self-care.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If there is addiction or alcoholism in your family, you can still be in the moment and enjoy the Christmas holidays.  Don't let another holiday pass by because addiction is there.  This message rings loud and clear in this episode of Smiling Again and Ann and Mitchell talk through how to make this possible. Anna is the wife of a recovering addict and she herself is in recovery from codependency. Mitchell is a very grateful recovering addict. Together they are the Founders of We Are Recovery. Whether on the inside facing addiction head on or on the outside  loving the one who's in it, recovery is possible for all.  As they both walk their own healing journey, together they share their experience with wholehearted honesty. Most of what they share comes from really messing things up and growing through it. If you have ever wondered what your loved one thought and you were too afraid to ask, this episode is a much to listen or watch. Anna shares her thoughts on codependency and why it is so important to heal on her own journey, so she can live her live according to her own values.  Figuring our who we are and what we love is integral to recovery. Mitchell shares his experience of recovery and how important it was for people to say what was wrong, he shares what he stays clear of and the importance of having a plan to know what to do if something arises, if he is triggered  at Christmas. We talk about stepping on egg shells,  the non linear path of healing, the sling shoot, how silence reinforces the addict's behaviour, the need to say what is wrong and the nitty gritty of how to show love, owning your actions, getting stuck trying to be perfect,  how to have fun again, making a plan for Christmas, deciding to be present and enjoying the holidays. There is soooooooo much in here. It's a must.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What comes first, thoughts or feelings? In this episode of Smiling Again I speak with Dawn Stemmer, Psychotherapist, BWRT practitioner and creator of BiiTS. Thoughts are ways of dealing with feelings – ways of thinking our way out of feelings – ways of finding solutions that meets the needs that lie behind the feelings. So if it's that simple and we can think our way out of our feelings, how do we do it and end the negative spirals that can send our day s into a tizzy? Dawn teaches us some practical exercises that we can use to collect our lovely thoughts, like pearls, stringing them together throughout our day to create someting beautiful.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Moving through grief after losing her brother Joseph to addiction, a very brave Megan shares her story of healing from the addiction that plagued her family for 20 years. This raw, emotional episode,  was recorded only two weeks after Joseph passed away.  He was only 32 years young.Nothing prepares you for the roller coaster ride that you experience when a loved one battles alcoholism or addiction.Megan, a mom of two young children, a teacher, a sister,  a daughter, shares her perspective on being a big sister, bearing witness to her brother's struggle with addiction. She shares her families experience, the difficult choices, the love, the peace, the happy memories, the anger, the pain and the roller coaster she has been riding for 20 years.I applaud Megan for her bravery, sharing her story  so that Joseph did not die in vain,  helping others families heal from losing a loved one to addiction. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you are consumed by a loved one's addiction or alcoholism, its hard to see a way out of a repetitive cycle of chaos and trauma. In this episode we discuss how to make your life count, with boundaries. Suna Spry, RSPH and author of Addicted to an Addict shares some helpful in formation that can help anyone consumed by a loved ones addiction or alcoholism to start working on their own recovery. She shares three realisations that you need to come to before you can start putting healthy boundaries in place - and stick to them.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The popular Netflix series MAID has everyone talking and it has some people angry.  The story portrays a young likeable, poor, white woman, Alex , a young mother who flees an abusive relationship and takes a job as a maid to provide for her daughter, striving to build a better future.  MAID touches on a  number of incredibly heavy topics, domestic violence, homelessness, alcoholism, the generational cycle of addiction and the systems that keep people in poverty. It's no easy watch, yet we are all watching it and talking about it. In this episode I chat with Celeste Yvonne about what makes this incredible series so good. Drawing from our own experiences, for me living with my husband's alcoholism, for Celeste her fathers alcoholism and her own recovery, we talk about the unspoken conversations of addiction in the family and the generational cycle of addiction.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Families can recover from addiction. Jake LeClaire founder of the Emerge Center for Addiction Recovery, joins me to discuss the importance of getting closer and more in touch with our own truth and our own feelings, for a family to recover.  When caught up in the chaos of an addictive family system, it is not comfortable to get close to those truthful feelings. We have our own discomfort, but we also get uncomfortable with other family member feelings, especially when codependency exists.    Listen in to this episode as we talk through how families can build a healthier love with a whole lot of honesty and recover from addiction, breaking the family cycle in the process.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Running is good for mental health!  But what makes it so good and how do we get more of that goodness to improve our mental health?One of the biggest challenges with running is maintaining consistency, lacing up and getting out the door more regularly. Today, I talk with Gareth Gailey a running coach and England Athletics Mental Health Ambassador. Tapping into his expertise as a running coach working with many clients with mental health challenges, we  uncover some of the reasons why running has helped me so much on my healing journey as I putt my life back together in a healthy way after losing my husband to alcoholism.  We chat about mindset, purpose, and opening up, getting it all out in the open, starting those difficult conversations while out on a run. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Changing our lives... it's all made possible when we forgive and let go.When I heard myself saying that I felt guilt about how I didn't do enough to support my husband during his battle with alcohol dependency, I realised I did still feel guilt, even though I told myself I didn't.  He died in 2017.What I've noticed is that each time I speak, a bit more truth about what I am feeling deep down inside comes out.  So many emotions and thoughts are buried and it's so important to dig them up, clear them out, and let them go. Getting things out is a good thing. I have to say, it takes a lot of love and honesty to heal. Honesty with yourself.This episode is all about letting go of emotional pain from the past . When you have loved an addict you will have most likely felt shame or guilt for  somethingFor when you  reacted to them. The phone calls you didn't answerThe messages you ignoresAnd the times you walked away. There's also possible guilt for the enablingIf only I would have held my stance and had healthy boundariesIf only I would have not bought the drinkIf only i would not have lied to others for himThe list could go on….Alcoholism makes us sick too, we just didn't know it. And we spend a disproportionate amount of time helping them,  sacrificing our own physical and mental health.It's time to let go, to forgive ourselves and our loved one.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chris lost her daughter Aley to alcoholism 2 years ago.  Aley was only 28.  Chris shares her story of how she and Aley are connected with their hearts and souls, and how she is moving forward in life after experiencing such a traumatic loss. She describes her efforts to put her life back together, learning from the grief, finding her own self-worth, finding her own strength after loss.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week I was reminded of something really important. I was reminded of what mattered most. I sat on my mat, uncomfortably. It had been about 3 weeks since I attended a yoga class. To be honest, I don't know how long it had been. I booked a class after the realisation that the removal men took my yoga mats.Both of them. Gone. And it took me 9 days to realise this.And now here I was. Back on the mat, easing into just like when I first started yoga, with a yin & meditation class.“What matters most?”  The teacher asked. By the end of the class I found the answer, and it wasn't what I originally thought.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you've ever loved an addict, you may have reached an exhausted, painful point where you felt broken and we're struggling to just keep it all together. I am Kim Moore, and this is smiling again, where in each episode, we remind you that you are not alone together. One thing at a time, we will take small steps to introduce little changes into your life.When we lose a loved one to addiction, the grief journey begins, affecting you emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially and financially.  The journey can begin before they pass away, as we feel they are lost in the addiction. It's this type of grief that is ever so complicated. It can feel incredibly intense, with overwhelming emotions.  In order to heal, you must walk through the grief journey. In this episode I speak with Eric Hodgdon,  a coach, author, speaker and Zoi's dad. After losing his 15-year old daughter Zoi to suicide in early 2014, Eric found a way to get back from loss. Through his grief journey he is sharing the lessons he learned so that no one else has to walk alone on theirs. Eric has trained thousands of people who simply wanted to know how to navigate one of the hardest things that a human can endure - the loss of a loved one.Eric and I talk about story, and how talking, telling your story can help you along your journey.Let's walk this journey together. Together, one thing at a time  we'll take small steps, little actions every day, which can help you let go and start smiling again. Together, we'll support each other as we do the work, taking care of ourself along our healing journey. You'll gain a sense of comfort re-joining a social atmosphere, trying new things, building confidence as you develop new positive habits, and have fun, laugh be playful, making new friends, all who understand what you've been through losing a loved one to addiction. Join the private Facebook GroupJoin the waitlist for the Community Subscribe to the Smiling Again Podcast Don't forget.  Subscribe on your favorite podcast platform, including Spotify, Google podcasts, and Apple Podcasts.    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I'm very fortunate to speak with Alissa who is living in the US on the Jersey shore, the idyllic Jersey shore that we've all seen on TV.  The mom of  two young boys, Alissa has had different relationships in her life, loving someone with an addiction. She lost a younger sibling, a brother, to addiction last year.  She was also married to an alcoholic. Alissa shares her story of her transformation journey, the decision to work on herself everyday to build a happier life.  She talks about how every day, she wakes up and makes a choice to still do the work and, and to still keep going. Alissa shares how she started with small steps and just one thing - going to the gym. I started with the gym taking 45 minutes for myself.  I work on my health because I had young children and I wanted to be healthy and I wanted to be able to keep up with them. And that was my first thing that I decided to do. And what ended up happening was so beautiful. It was 45 minutes a day and I went five days a week. And in those 45 minutes, I wasn't depressed. I wasn't sad. I wasn't thinking about my life. I wasn't worrying about what the next catastrophe was going to be or what tomorrow was going to look like. So I ended up having 45 minutes a day free from my own life. And in those moments that when I came back to my life, I longed for more moments like that.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I am going to share a difficult conversation with you.  Let's talk about that feeling of having a hurricane in your head. I call it a hurricane. It's that feeling of so much happening so fast that you can't hear your self think over the thoughts  swirling in your head. I didn't even realise that there was a storm in my head.  I guess I ignored it without realising I was ignoring it, because to me, it was normal. I heard a comment by Ashley C Ford, the author of Somebody's Daughter.  She said normal are things that should happen and common are things that just do happen. The hurricane in your head, its not normal. It's common. My life was a frenzy I just didn't know it.The thing is, it wasn't fuelled by my husbands alcohol dependency, no. This the storm in my head was fuelled by me,my perfectionism, my self doubt, and my guilt and my longing for love.I found that having routines helped to be more able to prevent the frenzy, and to deal with it better when it did come.  I no longer feel a hurricane in my head on a daily basis. Sometimes it gets noisy, so I rest, I play, I meditate. I always like to end an episode with gratitude. I'm grateful for my beach hut, and  the me having the courage to rest. To acknowledge my exhaustion and to stop. Even when I felt I couldn't i stopped. Join the Blossome community where you'll find others who are on a healing journey, supporting each other after losing a loved on to addictionResources: Join Blossome a supportive community for those who have endured losing a loved on to addiction. Find a pathway to peace, let go of guilt, shame and live with self-compassion and joy. Follow Ashley C Ford on Twitter  Listen to Unlocking Us on Spotify, Hosted by Brene Brown Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Journaling can improve how you feel. It's good for you, and the benefits of putting pen to paper are many.  Years ago, when the progression of my husbands alcoholism accelerated and life started to spiral into chaos, I started to journal,  just free writing journaling, documenting my feelings.  It was a way for me to touch base with myself to try to understand what was happening within me.  My journal became the friend that I could share everything with , all of my thoughts and feelings. Little did I know at the time, but this was the beginning of my healing journey.  In this episode, I speak with Klaus White, Founder of The Way of the Tortoise, A Journal to Happiness. We talk about all things journalling, and the slow and steady approach to long-lasting change.     Join the Blossome CommunityThe Blossome Community helps people who have endured losing a loved one to addiction let go of guilt and find kinder ways to live with self-compassion and joy.   Find hope and connection in a supportive community with programmes and immersive experiences that will help you use your voice,  let go of beliefs that hold you back, establish new rituals that will enable you to find your way back to a better smiling Self. Dare to break free and allow yourself to Blossome. You can find our more about The Way of the Tortoise, A Journal to Happiness on their website.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An interview with Lisa who lost her husband 14 years ago to opiate and alcohol addiction.  She shares her healing journey, the discovery of her enabling and the realisation that her fixing behaviour was impacting her life and ultimately her children. She describes moving from a position of anger to one of compassion, with the need for a lot of honesty central to her recovery. Lisa made the scary decision she made to walk away, leaving  her marriage and raising two children on her own, setting up a business as a way of taking care of herself and her children.   She shares the self doubt she faced, and her perseverance, simply because there was no other option. All the while, she ensured to maintain a sense of family with her ex husband, making an effort to do things as a family., giving her kids memories with their father. Honesty is central to her healing, the self inventory and the realisation that her own trauma impacted the way that she managed her marriage.  She didn't want to talk about their father as the problem, the problem wasn't just addiction, but it was trauma. And the dynamic they all operated in. Something had to change - you cannot control someone else's behaviour. You cannot fix an addict. The only thing that we can control is ourselves.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 If we could  just feel happy everything would be fine.  But the big question is how to be happy.  How to feel happy on the inside? It's a google search that is showing an upward trend, with how to be happy alone close behind it.   Everyone wants to be happy, and there are many people with lots of tips on how ways to be happy.  I've certainly tried everything and theres once clear thing I've learned.Focussing on the outcome - being happy -  isn't where happiness lies.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An interview with Simon.  He shares his experience of having a father who was an alcoholic and the impact his father's drinking had on his life. Simon talks about the mixed bag of emotions, the shame, the barrier he put up to shut his dad out and how the experience shaped his life.Join the Private Blossome community to connect with more people who understand this experience.  Blossome Private Facebook Group  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is our very first episode where I'm going to be talking about making a decision to start smiling again, because change always starts with a decision. And my very own healing journey began in 2010. Yes, I do take my time. It takes as long as it needs to take. And it was in November of 2010, and I had just received a message from my niece.  To put it into context, my niece is just a couple of years younger than me. I had been visiting home back in Canada earlier in the year. It was at a time when that visit back home was at the peak of when life was spiraling into chaos and I spent much of that trip sleeping and really in a state of numbness and shock. So when I got this message a few months later, it was quite a lovely message to receive.  I'd like to read it to you to share it with you. She said, "you looked as though your spirit had been ripped right from you and with good reason, but I wanted to let you know that this too shall pass with time. This will get so much easier. Just remember that you are the only one in control of your feelings and how long you will choose to feel the way.  Do trust that you will find yourself and your true smile again.  Embrace this and know in your heart, it is the right thing you do what is best for you. You first, now. "  I'd like to say something to her now, Kristi, if you're listening, I found my smile again. And thank you for being there at the beginning of this journey, I am forever grateful for that message and for your love,  All of these layers later, I've learned a lot. And I know that there is so much more to learn and to grow and heal. As I walk this journey, changing my life, I've learned that events can alter us emotionally and that we can become emotionally attached to our past. I lost my husband Chris, four years ago to chronic alcoholism. His tired heart stopped. We were divorced when he passed away, but as many of you will know it wasn't out of lack of love. It was an incredibly difficult and painful decision that I made to leave him. And I had to make that decision for the sake of saving my own wellbeing and to protect my children from the trauma that we were living in. The truth is that our love never died. I actually felt that I lost him many years before his death. And it's because you hold on and on and on never wanting to give up hope. So it's not just that one event that alters you emotionally. It's the ongoing events and many of them, which are quite traumatic to live through. And as our stress hormones go up bit by bit, our body starts to break down and we're living in survival mode. We think the same thoughts, where are the bottles? Um, what will he be like, how will I pay the bills? There's just so many things that all start to go wrong and fall apart. So many things to worry about. And then over and over again, the same thoughts take over and we feel the same way again and again. And we perform the same actions again and again, we're literally stuck in a rat and we just can't see a way out of it.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kim Moore introduces her new podcast in which she shares conversations and helpful tips that can help you with your healing journey after losing a loved one to addiction. One thing at a time, walk this journey together and start smiling again.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.