The Hegelian Friendship Simulator

Mik and Verge are muhfuggin' back but it's not entirely like riding a bike. Sorry for the delay folks, we've just been out here L-I-V-I-N. But hell yeah, let's do this again. Fur Your Information: "Wotjek the Bear" Vergel: "Johan de Witt" / Miklas: "Presumed Dead" Wikiholes start at 13:25

Mik and Verge are BACK and they're swearing off potty humor for good. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Saint Pierre and Miquelon WikiHoles: Sir Christopher Lee (Vergel) / Erfurt Latrine Disaster (Miklas) / Holes begin at 26:40

Mik and Verge had a baby! Actually just Mik but Verge has been doing cool stuff too. Sorry the ep is so late. We've been busy! Surprise Bad-Ass of the Week: Shail Upadhya WikiHoles: Havana Syndrome (Miklas) / Manichaeism (Vergel) Wikiholes start at 23:00

Verge and Mik decide what gets to live and why wasps don't. Fur Your Information: Schmidt sting pain index WikiHoles: Wonderlic Exam (Miklas) / Human Sacrifice (Vergel) / Holes begin at

Sorry for the delay! Mik and Verge are joined by an enthusiastic guest who wants to know the last time they actually felt something. Please welcome guest Jimmy for his first appearance but definitely not his last! Surprise Bad-Ass (Sidekick) of the Week: Peter Norman WikiHoles: Faith (Vergel) / Saudade (Miklas) / Holes begin at 24:56

Mik and Verge discuss people famous for their rhythm - Eleanor Roosevelt top of the list. Goooooood Cookin': Mate WikiHoles: Eleanor Roosevelt (Miklas); History of Funk Music (Vergel); holes start at 42mins

Mik and Verge get circumcised. "Surprise bad-ass of the week": Jennifer Mee (Hiccup Girl) WikiHoles: Dock Ellis (Vergel) / Prevalence of Circumcision (Miklas) / WikiHoles begin at

This ep brought to you in Glorious Mono on account of, you guessed it, a technical issue! Ethnic Enclave: Polish Haitians Wikiholes: Nika Riot (Miklas) / Shapeshifting (Vergel) Wikiholes start at 19:23

Mik and Verge inexplicably both talk about piracy. Gooood Cookin': Sonoran Hot Dogs WikiHoles: Zheng Yi Sao (Vergel); Missionary Church of Kopimism (Miklas); WikiHoles begin at 22:40

Mik and Verge are TOGETHER! LIVE! And then not. Fur Your Info: Giant Softshell Turtles Wikiholes: Beautiful Willamette Valley (Miklas) / Shen Yun (Vergel) Wikiholes start at 21:49

Part 1 of a messy 2 part situation where Verge and Mik try to work around their differing schedules to bring you piggies the good good. Ethnic Enclave: The Sydney Block Wikiholes: The Belarusian Situation (Miklas) / Godel's Loophole (Vergel) Wikiholes begin at 24:38

Mik and Verge look at pictures of naked people. Suprisingly Badass Good Cookin': CABLP Wikiholes: Inherently Funny Words (Vergel) / Nudism (Miklas) Wikiholes begin at 26:18

Verge and Mik solve the Israel-Palestine conflict. Surprise Bad-Ass of the Week: Mitsuko Thekla Maria, Countess of Coudenhove-Kalergi WikiHoles: Child's Crusade (Miklas) / Dimensions (Vergel) / WikiHoles start at 26:10

Mik and Verge might need to take a step back and take a deep breath for a second. Gooood Cookin': Ampo of Java Wikiholes: Botched Psychonautics (Vergel) / Buddhist Mummies (Miklas) Wikiholes begin at 23:38 Links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cF06IIfW2Mhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cF06IIfW2M

Mik and Verge welcome their first guest! Producer Emmy joins the ep to talk about a topic that's been on her mind lately: animals acting like humans. ANTHROPOMORPHISM GUEST EP The Psychology of... (Vergel) / Olympics Mascots (Miklas)

Verge and Mik change up the vibes from grinding gears to lubing them up... for some nice Tinglers. Gooood Cookin': Ristorante Fortezza Medicea Wikiholes: Chuck Tingle's Tinglers (Vergel) / Maritime History of Somalia (Miklas) / Wikiholes begin at 22:00 Links: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/02/my-977-days-held-hostage-by-somali-pirates https://jperiod.bandcamp.com/album/j-period-knaan-the-messengers-trilogy-mixtape

Mik and Verge contemplate their own fungibility. Surprise Bad-Ass of the Week: Mary Ann Brown Patten WikiHoles: John Brown (Miklas) / NFTs (Vergel) / WikiHoles begin at 23:15

Mik and Verge get mad. Fur Your Information: Carcinisation WikiHoles: History of Artificial Intelligence (Vergel) / Death of David Chain (Miklas) / WikiHoles begin at 25:40

Verge and Mik are hungover. They also introduce producer Emmy. Fur Your Information: Coelacanth WikiHoles: Eurovision Song Contest (Miklas) / Free State of Jefferson (Vergel) / WikiHoles begin at 18:40

Mik and Verge hop dimensions in this psychedelic episode! And we'll leave it at that. They also sloppily introduce a new (old) friend to the Simulator... with the intent of doing a better job of it next episode! Fur Your Information: Harpy Eagles Wikiholes: "Eleusinian Mysteries" (Vergel)/"Psychonauts" (Miklas)/Wikiholes start at 16:35

Verge and Mik conduct a crazy conversation concerning camel corps, cossacks, cranks, covens and cockatrices. Fur Your Information: United States Camel Corps WikiHoles: Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks (Miklas) Animal Trials / Indiana Pi Bill (Vergel) WikiHoles begin at 22:00

Verge and Mik discuss the merits of bumping elbows with your neighbors and ponder if the Truth, regarding communism, dolphins, and nukes, is (way) out there. Ethnic Enclave: South Sudanese Americans Wikiholes: "Begich Towers, Whittier, AK" (Vergel) / "Posadism" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 29:20

Mik and Verge contemplate a future full of leisure and nominate some more names for the HFS HOF. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Tuva Republic WikiHoles: "Rube Waddell" (Miklas) / "Amelio Robles Avila" (Vergel) / Holes begin at 21:20

Mik and Verge nominate two new figures for the HFS Hall of Fame. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Polish people in the UK WikiHoles: "Sgt Stubby" (Vergel) / "Assassination of Olof Palme" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 22:42

Mik and Verge discuss (in depth) the nature of bodily functions as they have occurred and been contemplated upon throughout history. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Koreatown/Little Bangladesh, Los Angeles, CA, US WikiHoles: "Catullus 16" (Miklas) / "Le Petomane" (Vergel) / Holes begin at 21:03

Mik and Verge look for some answers and energy in the face of a stiflingly boring Twitter news week. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: "Kaifeng Jews" WikiHoles: "Kaifeng " (Vergel) / "Nuisance Wildlife Management" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 10:40

Yowza! This is a hot one. Mik and Verge discuss the nuances of tragedy and 20th century geopolitics, whether they're Calvinists and what the world would be like if Teotihuacan survived the downfall of a supervolcano. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Kreuzberg, Berlin, Germany WikiHoles: "Fu-Go Balloon Bomb" (Miklas) / "536" (Vergel) / Holes begin at 23:50

Mik and Verge contemplate the coming wave of populism in our general discourse as well as the fleeting nature of cultural assimilation. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Spanish Fork, Utah (Icelandic diaspora) WikiHoles: "Ursula and Sabina Erikkson" (Vergel) / "Wall Street bombing" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 23:30

Mik and Verge watch and discuss the Real Housewives media empire. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Barentsburg, Svalbard, Norway WikiHole: "List of Logical Fallacies" (Miklas) / Hole begins at 19:15

Bedroom Eyes. Perfect words in dying languages. The irredeemable socio-cultural impact of bad satire. It's all here in this episode. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Al-Lawatia, Muscat, Oman WikiHoles: "Joe Biden (The Onion)" (Miklas) / "Mamihlapinatapai" (Vergel) / Holes begin at 20:50

Mik and Verge get their points out of the way regarding the "Bay of Chuds" on Jan. 6th in DC and move on to more important matters: hyping up the life and times of our boy Thomas Sankara, a true musician. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Liberdade, Sao Paulo, Brazil (Japanese diaspora) WikiHoles: "Tout a Coup Jazz" (Both!) / Hole begins at 21:50

Mik and Verge contemplate ethics of pooping in public. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Basques in Boise, Idaho WikiHoles: "Mariko Aoki phenomenon" (Vergel) / "Ethical Consumerism" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 15:12

The boys examine what life is like living inside of a simulation and in doing so, Mik's edible kicks in. Ethnic Enclave of the Week: Burmese Chin in Indianapolis WikiHoles: "List of Balls Dropped on New Year's Eve" (Miklas) / "Quantum Suicide" (Vergel) / Holes begin at 21:04

Mik and Verge ruminate for too long on Dan Crenshaw's aesthetic. WikiHoles: "List of Las Vegas casinos that never opened" (Vergel) / "1593 Transported Soldier Legend" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 17:05

Mik and Verge attempt to analyze history as it is happening and (you guessed it!) get caught up on the moral failings of our capitalist system. Buckle up for a light-hearted romp! WikiHoles: "Embryonic Space Exploration" (Miklas) / "Time Person of the Year" (Vergel)/ Holes begin at 17:50.

That's right, folks. Mik was so delighted by the WikiHole that emerged after a brief discussion of A-List (citation needed) actor Jeremy Renner in a previous ep that we are devoting an emergency, mid-week BONUS EPISODE entirely about his failed attempt to construct an app devoted entirely to his vanity and the complicated nature of celebrity.. For even more in-depth coverage, check out podcast The Renner Files. Follow us on Twitter (@hegelsfriendsim) and Instagram (@hegelianfriendshipsimulator) for show updates.

Mik and Verge contemplate pranks and colonialism (again). WikiHoles: "Dreadnought Hoax" (Vergel) / "Cargo Cults" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 22:52

Mik and Verge get sad. WikiHoles: "Melancholy" (Miklas) / "Athletics at the 1904 Summer Olympics" (Vergel) / Holes begin at 17:11

Listen, we know Thanksgiving this year is kind of sad and probably more than a little lonely. So why don't you do yourself a favor and pop this episode on the speakers in your home and listen to us complain about libertarianism while you enjoy microwavable mashed potatoes by yourself? PLAY ON THANKSGIVING AND PREFERABLY ALONE! Twitter - @hegelsfriendsim Instagram - @hegelianfriendshipsimulator Gmail - hegelianfriendshipsimulator@gmail.com

Mik and Verge go all in on the lovable weirdos and whacky plans. WikiHoles: "Timothy Dexter" (Vergel) / "Darien Gap" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 16:00

Mik and Verge discuss whacky shenanigans, political corruption and BDSM. WikiHoles: "Other World Kingdom" (Vergel) / "Jim Traficant" (Miklas) / Holes begin at 14:00

Verge and Mik avoid discuss two completely unrelated and equally tragic medical phenomena. WikiHoles "Paris Syndome" (Vergel) / "List of People Who Have Died on the Toilet" (Miklas) / Holes start at 12:01

Verge and Mik contemplate asparagus pee. WikiHoles: "The Miracle of 1511" (Vergel) / "Men Going Their Own Way" (Miklas) / Holes start at 18:45

Verge and Mik talk a little bit about their plans with the podcast in oft-convoluted but generally interesting ways. WikiHoles: "Empathy in Chickens" (Vergel) "The Jumping Frenchmen of Maine" (Miklas) Holes begin at 30:55

Verge and Mik jump into their Friendship Simulator and shoot the shit with a verbose guest.