The Marriage Code Podcast

Summary: One of the hosts of the Marriage Code has some life-changing news that boils up tons of emotions. Phillip and Benji tackle the issue head-on in this episode of The Marriage Code. “Logic and emotion are like oil and water; they don't mix… it's like trying to push a rope – good luck with […]

Summary: It's Q&A time at The Marraige Code. Phillip and Benji tackle some of the tough questions about Relationship Inventories. “The problem is that so many of us have become good at having an average marriage.” – Phillip Enkey Links: The Other Guys (2010) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDJgv1iARPg Fully Understanding the Tally System – The Marriage Code […]

Summary: What does an M-16 and 2 grenades have to do with washing dishes? Phillip and Benji actually answer this question along with how to feel connected with your spouse and work as a team. Links: Marriage Code Podcast questions – podcast@themarriagecode.org In this episode: Introduction…sort of Benji's injury Phillip's amazing contribution to the armed […]

Summery: Have you ever known what the other person was going to say and you just didn't want to hear it, and cut off the conversation short? Or have you ever wanted to talk but the other person doesn't want to wait for your answer and ends the conversation? Does this happen frequently? Frustrating right? […]

Summary: In this Episode, Phillip and Benji celebrate the 40th episode of the podcast by talking about how The Marriage Code began, and by talking about where it is going. Also an announcement where Phillip and Benji will be speaking on June 30th. Links: Hope Cast – https://www.facebook.com/watch/KentsteadMedia/ Zig Ziglar – Courtship after Marriage – […]

Summary: Spouse not feeling “connected with you”? In this episode, Phillip and Benji discuss four major ways to emotionally connect with your spouse. And describe easy ways to implement them. Links: Night at the Museum 2; guard scene – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDI-sDCzGZY&t=3s Marriage Code Podcast – How to Get Spouse Certified – https://themarriagecode.heraldsoflife.com/mc-010-how-to-get-spouse-certified/ In this episode: Deeper […]

Summary: What are the biggest three mistakes couples make in talking to each other? In this episode, Phillip Enkey is back from serving his country and is ready to dive right back into discussing marriage and relationships. Phillip and Benji discuss the three biggest mistakes couples make and give examples. Links: The Office: S2 E22: […]

MC 031: What's in your Playbook? Summary: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Benji and Phillip continue the conversation of “What if you had only 30-days to save your marriage?” and finish explaining their 30-day plans. In this episode: Benji's 30-Day Plan Week 1: re-Discovery Day 1: Get a notebook and a yellow […]

Summary: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, what if you had 30 days to save your marriage? What would you do? Phillip Enkey and Benji Boekweg dive right in and explore how to save their marriages in 30 days. Links: Aladdin – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OczOUJw1Z7k&t=15s John Gottman – https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/ In this episode: Another announcement! Big […]

MC 035: Insights Gained from Childbirths Summary: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Someone has an announcement! Also Phillip and Benji discuss the personal insights they have gained while going through the childbirth process with their wives, and how it relates to the human mind and the current paradigm. “This was one of […]

Summary: Once thought to be lost forever, this found and remastered episode takes a dive into the root cause of unmet expectations. Expectations – Are you shooting at a moving target? Phillip and Benji share examples and laughs as they draw out a 4-step system to alleviate day-to-day tensions that we all naturally assume are […]

Summary: The journey continues as Benji incorporates a new style of parenting that revolves around teaching children to govern themselves.  Now back to report on his progress so far of implementing a family government, the hiccups, and reason why. Time to explore the answers. It may be simpler (and crazier) than you would have thought. […]

Summary: The journey begins as Benji incorporates a new style of parenting that revolves around teaching children to govern themselves.  He refers to the book he is implementing and give a progress report on what he has accomplished so far and also what he hopes to achieve, along with some important insights he received while […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, from touchdowns to clean kitchens and beyond, Phillip and Benji discuss the importance of your Marriage Playbook. What rules or guidelines have you and your spouse pre-agreed on for when the situation arises, you both will know how to respond? Links: Remember who you are – […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Benji is joined by his wife, Ann Boekweg, and discuss two interesting questions of “Can the child claim the parent is disobeying them?” and “Can simple words of love actually change a child's behavior in the moment?”. Links: http://themarriagecode.org In this episode: Children's response to structure […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji discuss the importance of “calibration” in a marriage, as well as emotional connection in the phases of marriage. Links: Metronome Synchronization – https://youtu.be/W1TMZASCR-I In this episode: Calibration Techniques: Sway – sway back and forth for a few minutes while listening to a song with […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Benji returns from a 3 day marriage seminar with all the latest tips, tricks, and insights into how to make marriages work better, stronger, and longer. Links: Metronome Synchronization – https://youtu.be/W1TMZASCR-I In this episode: Marriage Phases 5 – Thrive in Abundance 4 – Calibrate 3 – Challenge […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Benji Dives into the four steps to begin the journey of implementing the Marriage Code principals into your marriage. Discussing the four simple procedures than anyone can do to start upgrading your outlook and start actively mirroring. “You don't have to be great to start, but […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Benji Dives into the four steps to begin the journey of implementing the Marriage Code principals into your marriage. Discussing the four simple procedures than anyone can do to start upgrading your outlook and start actively mirroring. “You don't have to be great to start, but […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji spend more time fleshing out how to prepare for a Relationship Inventory and share some of the do's and dont's they discovered, while also addressing the question of how to best initiate a Relationship Inventory with your spouse even if they are not […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Benji shares some of his personal experiences and some of his flaws as he discusses one of the key ingredients in alleviating the emotional tension in the home. Links: www.themarriagecode.org   In this episode: What if I am doing all the steps and still not getting […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji continue their exploration into the woman's perspective from the eyes of their spouses. Today's podcast features the interview with Phillip's wife Dani. Links: www.themarriagecode.org In this episode: Exclusive interview with Dani Enkey and her side of the story of how she met Phillip […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji dive into the female perspective of how applying Marriage Code principles has affected their marriage. In this part, Phillip and Benji interview Benji's amazing wife Ann. “Frustration is caused by a lack of knowing they understand” – Benji Boekweg Links: www.themarriagecode.org In this […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji learn what their love languages are and discuss how this knowledge can improve marriage and family relationships. Phillip and Benji take the 5 Love Languages quiz on the air to find out their love languages. “The most heartfelt communication is their own love […]

Summery:In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji revisit the tally system in relation to finances and how to shield your marriage from the number one cause of divorce. Links: www.themarriagecode.org Dumb and Dumber (1994) – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109686/ The Office: I declare BANKRUPTCY! – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-m3RtoguAQ In this episode: Financial Tallies Ownership vs. Assignment […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip? and Benji discuss a new child-parent relationship discussed by David Kaslowski's in his podcast Light the Fight. Links: www.themarriagecode.org http://elevatepodcasting.com/light_the_fight/  #016- “The Oldest Child Relationship”   In this episode: Is there a Phillip in the house? What is the “Oldest Child” relationship? Enemies and Friends […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji ask the question: What is realistic?, and explore the meaning of being a creator. Complete with sound bytes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Carrey, and Will Smith speaking on this topic. “Other People and cultural precedent is not going to tell me what kind […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji dive deeper into what makes a good leader, and how just what they do that makes people want to follow them. “We love him, because he first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19 Links: www.themarriagecode.org   In this episode: How do we gain […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji revisit the skill of Active Listening as they explore the answer to the question: How I get someone to understand what I'm trying to say? “How can we assume that what we heard is what they meant, when so often it's not?” – […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji discuss the difference between Influence and Control as they revisit the Mirroring principle and expound on it's use.  They use examples from their own lives and from popular culture. “We can create the outcome we want, based on what we choose to do.” […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji dive into the leading cause of divorce: finances.  They pick apart the discussion to more effective practices that lead to a happy and healthy, financially functional, marriage. Links: www.themarriagecode.org Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University: https://www.daveramsey.com/fpu#in-progress=1 Brian Reagan's Art skit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NpLjKVvY28 In this episode: […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Benji goes into detail sharing some of the techniques and tips about parenting children that he had to pay a pretty penny to obtain, which has revolutionized the way he views raising children.  “The biggest thing I had to change to fix my kids, was me.” […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji discuss one of the more controversial topics in marriage: the roles of men and women.  They delve deeply into what it means to be a leader in the home as well and identify the do's and don't's of leadership.  “If I was meant […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji continue the discussion from last episode on how to invest in your spouse the way we invest in our hobbies and sports, plus there is an exciting announcement from the Boekweg family! In this classic follow-up episode they outline different ways to learn […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji discuss the question, “What could happen if we spent as much time studying our spouse as we spend studying our favorite sports team?”  They outline a “plethora” of everyday thing anyone can do to strengthen your connection to your spouse and liven up […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji discuss why some conversations that you use Active Listening on do not completely fixing the problem, and how to correct it. Links: www.themarriagecode.org In this episode: Emotions in conversation Stored emotions Emotional release Viewing the bigger picture

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, Phillip and Benji share their marital background and what their marriages look like, the concept of a paradigm shift is explained, a Great Marriage is defined, and the challenge to Walk on Water. Links: www.themarriagecode.org In this episode: Definition of a Great Marriage What Phillip and […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, we dive a little deeper into the dynamic of children in a marriage.  With special guest speaker Maria Christensen who is a fellow podcast host and mother of six (ranging from 4 years old to 20 years old), we discuss some of the modern tips and […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, We dive deep into the area of kids in a marriage.  Kids change everything; from diapers and homework to mischief and another mouth to feed.  They can also unwittingly become the center of a parental power struggle over authority.  We'll discuss the dangers and how to […]

Summery: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, we explain the tool that is the culmination of the several principles discussed thus far.  All the pieces will come together (Mirroring, Active Listening, Tally System, etc.) into the one tool that empowers you take stalk of your relationship and encourage positive change. Links: www.themarriagecode.org In […]

Summary: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, we fully describe the Tally System, how we are all doing whether we know it or not, the proper role of appreciation and the five different styles of apology and what they mean. Links: www.themarriagecode.org Magic Coffee Table – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_kXIGvB1uU In this episode: The concept of […]

Summary: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, we examine the skill of Active Listening through real-life examples and list out the steps to make it work for you. Links: www.themarriagecode.org In This Episode: The levels of conflict The steps for Active Listening Real examples of conflict resolution using Active Listening

Summary: In this episode of the Marriage Code podcast, we explore the concept of Mirroring and how to use it to command the outcome of any conversation and much much more. Links: www.themarriagecode.org In This Episode: We define the concept of Mirroring We explain the definition of a “fight” in a relationship The different methods […]

Summary: Introducing the Marriage Code Podcast, with Benjamin Boekweg and Phillip Enkey who share their experiences and just why they say marriage is like spaghetti. Links: www.themarriagecode.org In This Episode: Why marriage is like a spaghetti recipe In a nutshell, what the recipe is What to expect on the next episodes