Touch of Flavor | Relationships Outside the Box

Should you let your partner read your texts? We get this question a LOT. When you're feeling insecurity or mistrust, this kind of radical transparency can seem like an easy solution. But is it ethical? Does it work? Here's the definitive answer we give our clients.

The biggest challenge in polyamory Is not time, nor jealousy, nor communication, But something much more deep-rooted: Contrast and fear, That shines a light on weaknesses that were never clear.

You're feeling stuck. On the one hand, you're tired of struggling in your polyamorous relationships. The relationship needs to be fixed. But you're not the one causing these problems. Your partner is to blame. And they don't seem motivated to change. What should you do?

The holidays are a natural incubator for conflict. Especially if you're in a polyamorous relationship. Here are four hacks that allow our polyamorous clients to not only survive the holidays but to create memories and experiences that bring their relationships even closer together.

Many people think jealousy is the cardinal sin of polyamory. But those feelings are normal. And when you use them the RIGHT way, jealousy can actually be the key to healing your relationship.

You and your partner agree to open your relationship under one condition: It's JUST about sex. No feelings. And for a while that works out pretty well. But now it's happened. Someone caught feelings. The other partner is feeling hurt and betrayed. And you're both trying to figure out: what does a path forward even look like?

When your spouse tells you they are no longer interested in being romantically involved with you, what do you do? It's a tough situation. But you can get your spouse back. Here's how.

“Ya'lls can be a little negative about polyamory. Why can't you talk about the positive things?” We got this question from a listener. So this week, we're discussing why we don't sugarcoat and the consequences that being overly optimistic can have for your relationships.

Relationship Anarchy sounds great in theory. But the way most people practice it leads to confusion, hurt, and ruined relationships. In this episode, we discuss how you can build relationships that value freedom and autonomy while still allowing your partners to feel cared for.

If you're in a polyamorous relationship, communication is key. Here are 5 powerful questions to help take your communication to the next level.

You're in a polyamorous relationship. You're a man. But you can't find polyamorous women to date. It's frustrating. Not only that, but you might also be in a place where your partner is having ZERO trouble finding people. And that disparity is bringing a flood of jealousy and challenges. Here's how you can find those amazing partners for yourself.

Veto power is a common agreement in polyamory. But do vetos WORK? The answer is an emphatic no. In this episode, we discuss how veto power undermines the very security you're trying to create, and what you should do instead.

When you're polyamorous, it's incredibly hard to find a good coach or counselor. And when your marriage and family are on the line, you can't settle for anything less than the best. But how do you figure out WHO is the best? In order to be truly amazing, an expert needs to have paid the price in three different areas. Let's break them down.

You may think that you can't heal a polyamorous relationship on your own. But you have more power than you know. And when you embrace your power, you can transform your relationship. Even if your partner isn't willing to do the work.

Are you polyamorous and having trouble finding your “unicorn?” The reason you're having trouble finding a partner isn't that they don't exist. It's because what you're offering isn't attractive. Here's what couples do wrong when they're looking for an incoming partner, and how you can attract the amazing humans you are looking for.

If you and your partner have separated, is your relationship over? Here's the process that our polyamorous clients use to heal a separation and bring the relationship back together. Even if their partner is hopeless and they're the only one who is willing to try.

Our partner Amanda joins us to discuss our family vacation to Florida. Plus we reveal an awesome new project.

Having relationship problems? Thinking about going to therapy? There are 5 clues you can use to weed out the experts who can help you from those you shouldn't give the time of day. Find out what they are in this episode.

Triads and quads. Unicorns and dragons. Group relationships are something lots of polyamorous people want. And they can be beautiful when done well. But they're VERY easy to do wrong. In this episode, we discuss 5 surprising facts you should know if you're in (or considering) a group relationship.

Rach and Chel were caught in a depressing cycle. They were arguing all the time. They were hardly intimate. There was no affection. Their 10-year relationship was close to done. So how did they get from the edge of disaster to dancing naked in the kitchen (and dating a triad) in a matter of weeks? We'll let them tell you.

If you only had a year left to live, how would you be treating your partners? If you're like most people, there's a big difference between your answers and what you're doing now. Why? Because we assume that we have time. But that's not always the case. Today we're talking about the dangers of pushing your relationships to the back burner, and what you should be doing instead.

Folks who have ADHD are likely to find non-monogamy very satisfying. But ADHD brings a predictable set of challenges to any relationship. And if you're not careful, non-monogamy can drastically magnify those challenges. And to top it all off, the biggest challenge isn't what 99% of people think.

Non-monogamy is all about custom designing our relationships. But lately, relationships that are purely sexual have gotten a bad rap. So, are you wrong for wanting a sexual relationship without a romantic connection? Are you just using people? And how can you have these casual relationships in a way that's fun and fulfilling for everyone involved?

If you're not getting what you want and need in your relationship, opening up will be tempting. But will polyamory actually fix your relationship? 95% of the time, the answer is NO. In fact, opening up at the wrong moment can destroy the relationship—and family—you already have. So how do you know when it's the right time to open up?

If you practice polyamory there WILL be times you feel jealousy. But what if there was a way to fall in love with that jealousy? To use it as a tool to make your relationship better than it's ever been? We're going to teach you the 3-step process our clients use to do exactly that.

Do you feel more like a roommate than a partner? Like the love and intimacy and connection are gone and you're just… existing? This isn't what you signed up for. It's time to stop settling and claim the love and passion you deserve!

Can a relationship between a monogamous and polyamorous person work? Most people will tell you no. But those people are wrong. In fact, a third of our clients are in mono/poly relationships. Here's how to navigate this barrier and build a thriving relationship.

How do you get over the fear of being replaced? Is it shady when your metamour doesn't want to hang out? What do you do when your partners want you to move out? In this Q&A episode, we answer your questions about polyamory.

Call it cheating. Call it breaking an agreement. Whatever words you're using, broken trust is a serious problem in polyamorous relationships. And no relationship can survive forever without trust. So why does trust get broken, and how can you rebuild it if it's gone?

When you're suffering in your polyamorous relationships, how do you cope? Everyone struggles with difficult emotions at times. But what you DO with those emotions is critical. You can deal with them in healthy ways and use the challenge as an opportunity to launch your relationships to the next level. Or you can deal with them in unhealthy ways that are devastating to your relationships and well being.

Lots of mono folks think that polyamory is all about sex. But it's quite possible for polyamorous folks to end up in a sexless relationship. Why does physical intimacy disappear from a relationship? And how can you get back the passion and desire you had when you first got together.

There are six beliefs we constantly see sabotage polyamorous relationships. If you have any of these beliefs you need to get rid of them right now. In this episode, we're going to break those beliefs down.

It's been a long time since we've done a group update! So our nesting partner Amanda is joining us to discuss what happened in 2021. Topics include our kids, catching COVID, working together, and more.

We all know that pain is an opportunity to grow. And when your relationships are full of hard feelings and stressful conversations you have two options. You can wallow in the pain. Or you can use those difficulties as a launching pad to build loving, secure relationships.

Everyone has an opinion about how you should be running your polyamorous relationships. But with so many opinions out there, it's hard to sort the signal from the noise. It's impossible for all those answers to be right. But the wrong answer can devastate your relationships. So how do you assess the “believability” of all those opinions and avoid bad poly advice?

If you're in a polyamorous relationship, it's easy to blame a lot of problems on your metamour. But here's the truth: If your metamour is in control of your relationship then either you or your partner is doing something wrong. The power in your relationship doesn't lie with another person. It lies with you and your partner. And when your relationship is solid no one can tear you apart.

Every year we work with dozens of non-monogamous clients and talk with hundreds more. At the end of the year, we discuss: What's working RIGHT NOW to build thriving polyamorous relationships? Wouldn't it be great if you could reap the benefits of all that experience?

What's your attachment style? Chances are, you know the answer. But what if we told you it didn't matter? Attachment theory is nice to know. But here's the truth: It won't fix your relationships. So let's talk about attachment theory. The good. The bad. And what you REALLY need to be doing to get back the love and security in your polyamorous relationships.

Time management is one of the biggest challenges in polyamory. So today we want to bust 5 common myths about time management in polyamory. Overcoming these myths will put you one step closer to the thriving relationships you and your partner(s) deserve.

When you're polyamorous, you want each of your relationships to have the freedom to grow. But it might feel like there's something between you. Some ONE between you. Because breaking up with someone doesn't mean that they're gone from your life. And if you're letting your past relationships affect your current ones, then you're still dating your ex. So, how do you stop letting your past relationships affect your new ones?

You hear a LOT about gratitude this time of year. So in that spirit, we have a question for you: Are you grateful for your relationships? Do you truly appreciate your partner(s)? Or have you fallen into the habit of taking your relationships for granted? Let's talk about why gratitude is so important in your relationships, and how to give your partners the recognition and priority they deserve.

Equality is good, right? In most things, yes. In polyamory, not so much. Because when most polyamorous people talk about equality, they're really talking about sameness. And trying to make your relationships the same just doesn't work. Here's why asking if your relationships are equal is the wrong question, and what you should be asking instead.

Are you losing connection in your polyamorous relationship? If you've been together for years, you probably think that's normal. Even expected. And that's a lie. Not only is it possible to get back the love and intimacy you had when you first got together. But that connection should be getting stronger as the years pass.

Most polyamorous couples want to find compersion… to be really, truly happy when your partner finds joy in another relationship And yet, while most polyamorous folks WANT compersion, the way they try to find it is completely wrong. So they never get it. And they stay stuck in jealousy, anger, and resentment. Want to know the secret to finding compersion in your relationships?

When you're exploring non-monogamy, it's common to run into rough patches along the way. And when that happens, you might wonder: “Should we close the relationship? Should we stop being non-monogamous? Should we go back to it just being us?" Here's the answer.

Are you playing whack-a-mole in your polyamorous relationships? A problem pops up. You knock it down. It's immediately replaced by a different problem. And you never actually get to that peaceful, passionate, secure relationship you're working towards. That sucks. So how can you stop playing the game and build the relationship of your dreams?

Are you playing whack-a-mole in your polyamorous relationships? A problem pops up. You knock it down. It's immediately replaced by a different problem. And you never actually get to that peaceful, passionate, secure relationship you're working towards. That sucks. So how can you stop playing the game and build the relationship of your dreams?

If you're getting started with polyamory, then you probably have a burning question: Does polyamory work??? Well, it's entirely possible to build a thriving non-monogamous relationship. But there are a lot more ways to fail and blow up your existing relationship. Here's what you should know if you're getting started with non-monogamy.

Are you feeling resentful of your partner(s)? Even a little bit? If so, stop whatever you're doing and listen to this episode.

What would it be like to completely reset your relationship? To have, as we teach our clients, a "day zero?" To put the arguments and history behind you and to move forward together as a team? That's exactly what Chris and Lelly did. They had patterns that had been festering in their relationship for YEARS. But now they have FINALLY put the past behind them. And they're approaching all their challenges—polyamory, children, house fires, COVID—as a team. Here's how they did it.

Healthy agreements in non-monogamous relationships are essential. But what do you do when they are not working? Here's why your agreements aren't working, and what you need to do about it.