Exit, pursued by a bear

It’s our Christmas special for 2017 and in many ways we have outdone ourselves in terms of self-indulgence. It’s 40 minutes of utter trite, and we go back through our catalogue and do some Exit trivia, play some games, and gently stroke our egos. A VERY big thank you to Joseph Diskett, for all the music. Like us on Facebook, review us on iTunes and tweet us @exitpodcast

Something wicked this way comes! No we’re not talking about the musical again, we’re talking Macbeth by William Shakespeare. Witches, pumpkins and jumping castles all feature in this delicious episode about murder and magic- two of Jess’ favorite things. Thankyou maestro Joseph Diskett for the spooky sounds. Head over and treat us with a review on iTunes, like us on facebook, and trick us on twitter @exit_podcast.

We’re dancing through life this week as Kell and Jess talk about one of Broadway’s most popular musicals, Wicked. You may not believe it but this episode features one of the best dream casts of any Exit production, and you know our true love Patti is involved. Whether you loathe it or love it, you better believe we relish ruining it. Thank you to musical wizard Joseph Diskett for our tunes. Like us on Facebook, review us on iTunes and tweet us @exit_podcast.

Kell and Jess look at their first verbatim play, The Laramie Project by Moises Kaufman. We don’t try very hard to ruin it, primarily because we’re not bigots, and considering the current political climate in Australia we want to make it abundantly clear that we are pro gay marriage. Nevertheless we try to preserve with this episode, arguably ending in failure. Thank you Joseph Diskett for your sweet, sweet music. Please head to iTunes to review us, like us on Facebook and twitter @exit_podcast.

If you hate Victor Hugo and find human existence meaningless, you and Eugène Ionesco have a lot in common. That’s good, because that suggests you may also enjoy his play Rhinoceros. Strangely there are no ‘horny’ jokes made whatsoever, but that is probably more a reflection on the sad state of Jess and Kells’ love lives more than anything else. A special thank you to Joseph Diskett for the intro music. Please pop over to iTunes and review us, tweet us @exitpodcast, and of course like us on Facebook, so that we can have some meaning in our sad, sad, lives.

Sophocles. What a guy. For one thing he wrote Oedipus Rex, and for another thing he also happened to invent the idea of the THIRD actor. This guy was revolutionary. Not only do Kell and Jess praise Sophocles but they also chat about NIDA, the media and a variety of plagues in a fun filled family episode. Oh Daddy, we’ve been bad. Thank you Joseph Diskett for the intro lullaby. Head over to iTunes and give us a review, like us on facebook and tweet us @exit_podcast.

One room, one body, six suspects, no weapons and four giant turtles. Yes it’s time for our first murder mystery play as Kell and Jess tackle An Inspector Calls by JB Priestly. If you’re a fan of crime stories, detective novels or Sherlock Holmes you will utterly despise what we do to this genre. If, however, you’re vegan or like alternative animal milk, then have we got roughly 43 minutes of podcast for you. Yum yum! Thanks as always to Joseph Diskett for the theme song. Please head to iTunes and give us a fully sick review, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

Mates, we're breaking all the rules and jumping ship because today we're not doing a play or a musical, we're doing a bloody opera! That's right, all aboard as we do Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance. Muppets Treasure Island, Orlando Bloom and Cox & Box are all mentioned as we delve into the treasure trove that is this glorious comic opera. Thank you Captain Joseph Diskett for the sea chanties. Head over and tweet us @exit_podcast, like us on Facebook and give us a good review on iTunes. It's time. Review us now.

It's time to fight fire with fire, and by that we mean we're fighting the patriarchy with Joanna Murray-Smith's one woman show Bombshells. We talk Australian culture, gender and Jess' hatred of abortion protesters. A real light-hearted family episode. Thank you Joseph Diskett for the music, thank you listeners for liking us on Facebook, reviewing us on iTunes and tweeting us @exit_podcast

If your idea of a perfect production is one that features absolutely no women at all then you're gonna love this weeks play; Glengarry Glen Ross by David Mamet. We talk about the Tony's, little boys and soiled nappies as we navigate through the testosterone fuelled world of competitive real estate. Jane Fonda is also (thankfully) mentioned heavily in this episode. Thank you to the man Joseph Diskett for his musical composition. Please head to facebook, twitter @exit_podcast, and iTunes to like, tweet and review us and Jess will make you a sandwich.

Dicks, butts, boobs. We're getting down and dirty this week as we talk about the sexy, sexy play Dangerous Liaisons (or Les Liaisons Dangereuses for those particular folk). If your fetishes involve fully grown men, nappies, and bad pornography this episode will tickle your fancy. Thank you Joseph Diskett you saucy minx for your sultry sounds. Please head over to iTunes to give us a lovely review, woo is on Facebook and send us a dick pic @exit_podcast

Kander and Ebb. Like Kell, that may mean nothing to you, or if you're a fan of musicals, that means we're discussing Broadway's favourite revival- Chicago. Lawyers, adultery, ingrown toenails and happy times are all hot topics as we murder the longest running revival in Broadway history. It had it comin'. Thank you Joseph Diskett for your dangerously sexy show tunes. It would be a crime if you didn't head over to Facebook and like us, it's worth a hangin' if you don't review us, and of course you can date us by tweeting @exit_podcast

You are all cordially invited to Kell Andersen's Birthday as we celebrate both Kell Andersen's life and Harold Pinter's play The Birthday Party. Joining us on this most festive occasion is local celebrity Alexandra Hines, fresh of the set of the Bachelor, and together the three discuss the pros and cons of bringing a cricket bat into World War Two. Thankyou Joseph Diskett for the celebratory jungle, we celebrate your talent. Please sidle over to iTunes to give Kell a favourable review- not the podcast, Kell himself. Tweet your birthday wishes @exit_podcast or call him a cunt on Facebook.

Oh hello darlings, welcome to this weeks episode! Kell and Jess talk all things childcare; babies named Ernest, babies in handbags, who should be trusted caring for children etc. Oh and they do also talk about the Oscar Wilde play The Importance of Being Earnest…What a treat! An overwhelming thank you to the devilishly talented Joseph Diskett for the music. Please head over to iTunes to send us a good review, like us on facebook and naturally keep in contact with us on twitter @exit_podcast. We eagerly await your calling card.

Hallo! This week we’re going to Deutschland to do Brecht! We know you haven’t thought about him since high school drama but it’s time to delve back into the wonderful world of alienation and political intrigue when we discuss Mother Courage. There will be wars, Swiss cheese and reality television. There may be blood. There’ll definitely be complaints and lawsuits filed. Kell and Jess would also like to make it abundantly clear (again) that we are not Nazis and in no way support or sympathise with any party that has any affiliation with Nazi beliefs. Thankyou to our good friend Joseph Diskett for the music. Please head over to iTunes and give us a good review, like our facebook and tweet @exit_podcast

Mates, we’ve got a bloody ripper of an episode for you when we talk about the Australian classic; Summer of the Seventeenth Doll. It’s time for our Aussie friends to cringe and our international listeners to feel confused as we go full ‘straya in this weeks play by Ray Lawler. There’ll be Steve Irwin, sangas on the barbie and kewpie doll’s galore as we push ourselves to the limit trying to make this production as nightmarish as possible. Get it in ya! Thanks to the legend Joey Diskett for the theme song. Head over to our facey page and give us a thumbs up, chuck us a review on the old iTunes and don’t forget about our beaut twitter @exit_podcast.

Yodel-ey-he-ho! The apps are alive with the sound of inappropriate jokes. Kell and Jess enter the beautiful world of the Sound of Music to discuss one of the all time greatest shows by Rodgers and Hammerstein. Packed with childhood nostalgia, invasions and nazis, come and watch our puppet show children! Yodel at us on Twitter @exit_podcast, give us a review on iTunes and like us on Facebook. Thanks for the sing-a-long Joseph Diskett. Your music is worthy of a Tony. Or 34

Two nerds, both alike in their lack of dignity, quarrel over the play Romeo and Juliet. Yes, Kell and Jess tackle Shakespeare's tragic romance, all to the soundtrack of Taylor Swift's 'Love Story'. Prepare to be disgusted, aroused and then ultimately heartbroken, and that's just talking about Kell's dating history. Please send use your tokens of love @exit_podcast, at our official Facebook page or in the form of a five star iTunes review. Also we love Joseph Diskett like Romeo loves girls he can't have, and want to thank him for his sweet intro song and sound bites. X

Like Simba returning to Pride Rock we are making a similarly triumphant return which also happens to be Hamlet themed! Jess and Kell are back, this time to discuss Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard among a number of issues though namely Jess' unforgiving abandonment of Kell. There will be scorn. Also we apologise for the rather shocking quality of the audio, we're still figuring out exactly how to get Jess' voice across two oceans. And yes, it's that time again! Go and give us a review on iTunes, send us a tweet @exit_podcast, like our facebook and above all, mentally thank Joseph Diskett for our intro music. He's still amazing, as always.

Happy New Year! Did you hear the people sing last night? If not, you will as Kell and Jess bring in a special guest, Patrick Aiken, to talk about the West End’s longest running musical, Les Misérables. Listen as the boys complain about the scope and length while Jess, on her own, heartily tries to defend it. If you like revolutions you won’t enjoy this episode. We dreamed dreams in time gone by to get a boost on iTunes. Please help that dream come true by giving us a good review. You can also tweet us @exit_podcast. As always, thank you to our dear talented composer Joseph Diskett for creating a rousing score for our podcast.

Merry Christmas from Kell and Jess! For our Christmas special we ditched the old ways and rather than talk about a particular text we play an assortment of fun new games! Thanks for the yuletide carols Joseph Diskett! Send us your digital greetings @exit_podcast and your Christmas card sentiments to iTunes. Give us a Christmas miracle and get us back on those charts!

This week Kell and Jess tackle Henrik Ibsen, the most staged Playwright after Shakespeare and his banger of a play- A Doll's House. Nora, like Miley is a woman who can't be tamed. Will she break out of her birdcage? Does she go on to Party in the USA? Only time will tell.... Tweet some sass @exit_podcast and some reverence at iTunes. And Thanks Joey D(iskett) for the chart-topping tunez.

This week Kell and Jess continue the tradition of talking utter nonsense, this time with good reason as we discuss one of the most influential plays of the 20th Century- Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. We talk pimps, gravestones and high-vis as we try to ruin this masterpiece while not getting sued by the Beckett estate. Give us a like on facebook and a review on iTunes. We’ve waited long enough, it’s time for validation. And thank you Joseph Diskett for the music and stings.

Not unlike Konstantin’s gift to Nina, Kell and Jess would like to give you The Seagull. It’s rather bleak, dry, dense, depressing, so obviously we talk about tuberculosis, suicide and the importance of a lime tree. Tweet us your love letters @exit_podcast and send your tokens of appreciation to iTunes. Thankyou Mr Joseph Diskett for the depressingly good theme music.

Hello children, it’s story time with your favourite hosts Kell Andersen and Jessica Palfrey and a very special guest- Mr William Pyke. We’ll be talking about lovely things such as child murders, torture and ice-skating, while we bring one of our favourite plays to life; The Pillowman by Martin McDonagh. Tweet us your hate crimes @exit_podcast, send us your love on iTunes. And thank you to the marvellous Joseph Diskett, composer of our theme song and indeed, composer of The Pillowman. What can we say? We know a genius when we hear one.

While Kell gets caught up in nostalgia Jess has nothing for disdain for Broadway’s longest running musical; Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera. Prepare yourself for a lengthy rant about all of Lloyd Webber’s works, while also discussing musical sequels, a mandarin costume and jellicle cats. Beware- there will be singing. Tweet us your disapproval @exit_podcast and send us some love on iTunes. Thankyou kind Sir Joseph Diskett for the amazing composition. Perhaps if Mr Diskett had written Phantom Jess would have enjoyed it.

G’Day mates, we’ve got a beauty of an episode for you as Kell and Jess get round the Australian classic Cosi by Louis Nowra. We chat about mental illness, One Direction and how best to use Weet Bix in a piece of theatre. What a bloody ripper! Please say G’day @exit_podcast and give us a beaut review on iTunes. Thanks to the legend Joey Diskett for giving us a banger of an intro.

This week Dame Palfrey and Sir Andersen talk smack about the original queens of sass in Noel Coward’s Private Lives. Get transported to a world of fine dining and drunken brawls as we chat about the dandy, fisting and breaking records. What a treat! Please send all your love to iTunes in the form of a review, and additional correspondence @exit_podcast Thankyou to our darling Joseph Diskett for the music, absolutely spiffing.

We’re baaaaack! After a rather long dramatic pause Kell and Jess return to the airwaves, not with a trick but with a special treat! For Hallowe’en we talk witches, skate parks and horror movies as we’re discussing Arthur Miller’s classic; The Crucible. This episode is to die for……! Creep over to iTunes and give us a review and tweet us @exit_podcast And a thousand times thankyou to the ghoulishly talented Joseph Diskett who made us a special Hallowe’en theme song!

Kell Andersen and Jessica Palfrey go back to the birthplace of drama, the motherland- Greece and talk about theatre’s most famous mum; Medea. To make it a real treat we have a special guest on the show; multi-talented actress and performer Alexandra Hines. Settle in for a discussion about the ’94 Oscars, a young Greek playwright with big dreams, multiple orgasms and the mating rituals of dolphins. Chuck us a review on iTunes if you haven’t already or tweet us @exit_podcast And thankyou to the wonderful Joseph Diskett for the fully sick beatz.

Why fear Virginia Woolf when people like Kell Andersen and Jessica Palfrey are in the world? This week they tackle Kell’s favorite play, Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. This may be their most offensive idea yet and they wanted to state very clearly, no animals were harmed in the making of this podcast. Tweet us @exit_podcast And thankyou Mr Joseph Diskett for your dulcet tones.

Attend the tale of two insane thespians as they stage Sweeney Todd in the most ridiculous way possible. Kell Andersen and Jessica Palfrey are at it again discussing their love of Sondheim, Jake Gyllenhaal and small performance spaces. (Also discussed are important social issues such as marriage equality and the cost of high beauty standards, but you really have to keep an ear out for that) #auspol Tweet us @exit_podcast And thanks Joseph Diskett for your rousing sound track.

Join Kell Andersen and Jessica Palfrey for an offensive chat about Tennessee Williams’ most famous work, A Streetcar Named Desire. They discover Brando’s acting secret, vivid slices of watermelon, and which SNL star would be perfect for the role of STELLAAAAAAAAAH. Tweet us @exit_podcast And thank you again Joseph Diskett for your gorgeous sound work.

A new podcast where we pick a different play each week and find the worst way to stage it. And where to begin? With Hamlet of course! Settle in for our Pilot Podcast where Kell Andersen (@smell_andersen) and Jessica Palfrey (@jessism_) discuss Shakespeare, incest, inexperienced clowns and the cost of a christmas ham!