Globe Hell Warning

Things are getting so crazy out there. *audience: how crazy are they?* well on the one hand you've got a labour shortage, and on the other hand you've got way too many people performing emotional labour. so why don't we put them together? let's dig a ditch with our feelings and pave the roads with white male tears.

All the world is a stage and you're a player, but something is rotten in the state of Denmark. So is to be or not to be? Is that the question? Or are you too busy acting like a Romeo to prosper(o)? What if we could all unlock our World Wide William?  

Another Globe Hell Podcasting World First! The Calm app has good intentions, but its wrapped in the typical techno late capitalism hell word dumpster fire of any other app. What if there was a leftist app to help you sleep and destress? CULM

We only use 10% of our bodies and the other 90% is water. Meanwhile, everytime we flush the toilet we turn clean water nasty and then waste it. What if we used our own bodies to pee and poo into? The Internal Toilet Theory.

Everyday is the same for everyone with 24 hours. What if there were a way so that even more hours than 24 could be in a 24 hour day without making the day longer? Would your day be longer or would you just freeze?

Everytime you go to the doctor they take a look at your bad knee and say you need this medication for your rashes. What if they looked at your financial health and perscribe MONEY. Not just Doctor say Money Doctor.

Ever since the Bible people have been reading and writing books...that is until the internet came along and they started making posts. So which one is better? One is paper and the other is wires. Okay, so lets choose one.

World War 3 may be approaching, but there is another type of bombing that is ruining lives and its called LOVE BOMBING. Saying too much nice stuff. How would you combat this? What if someone tells you your new haircut looks good? What if someone started cutting his hair during the episode and through off the entire vibe. IDK.

Our show is about Globe Hell Warning but what even is a globe? It looks like a round map but it isn't one and its shaped like the same as our planet. So what are we going to do about that? Find out on this episode of our podcast.

They said there was a "honkin' protest" in Canada but I didn't know it was that big. Anyway apparently honking your horn works so even if you're not evil right wing guy you should use your horn to protest. There are no jokes about being "horny" in this episode. 

Have you ever kissed and did it feel good? Did you fall in love or just get horny? Kissing is really good for you, but sometimes we don't do it enough. So why don't we do it and I'm not talking about kissing my ass. xDxDxDxD

We've all heard of digging a hole to China, but what if we dug a hole to wherever we want? The hole can deliver our goods and services. Wait, to do this wouldn't you need Avengers Level Tech? Probably, but hear us out. Iron Man Tony Stark...

What is Blue? A color or a check mark? What if human beings on the street had check marks like on Twitter and Tik Tok? Would you be more or less likely to kill them? Would you respect them and trust their expertise or just shoot them?

Have you seen the news? Drake is being sued. Ninja may sue Pokimane. All these battles...in court. But what if we removed them from court and did real battles instead of fake? A legal battle becomes a Legal Battle...

Time and time again we have tried to innovate podcasting. Today we do it again with the first ever SILENT PODCAST. Josiah and Drew came together to spend an hour in silent reflection to reflect on everything we've done and everything we plan to do. Join us on our journey...

There are many homes that are empty that people could live in. Why not let the unhoused live there? But what if that meant you couldn't have a second or third vacation home? Is it worth it? Maybe there is a better option to shrink all issue and nothing about it will be sexual.

War is a terrible thing, it makes me sad panda, but at the same time there are a lot of good things about war like how the economy becomes better to make bombs faster. So what if we went to war and the economy was sooooo good after? Would it be worth it?

Some people are always saying "charge!" but what if instead you said "retreat"? Go to an island or something and we'll all hang out and do team building activities. Take off your socks and take some psychedelics, we're about to suck on your toes.

The worlds most peaceful days are when we all have a common enemy like in WW2. These days there are so many enemies, so its hard to have a single common one, which makes me sad panda :(. But what if we created a new common enemy to search and destroy? Would that make me feel better? To take someones life?

What will you do when a landslide or meteor hits your house or apartment? Will it still be there after, or will it be smashed? How do we build a new house without contributing further to climate change? Would you live in a house made of weed?

The world is such a strange and scary place right now and really nobody knows what the hell to do. Maybe we should all lay down  and let cars park on us. Or maybe we should as Mr. MIMS to Make It Make Sense again! Or do we need to [redacted] David Byrne?

Haven't we done an episode about ideas? Have we? Is this the same episode? What about when you have no ideas? A four four beat and more, bass and drums? I have no ideas. :/

We're living in a new world where covid-19 makes us work from home and we can't  hang out at the water cooler. But what if there was a new way to use water cooler as a place to gather and share our collected experiences? What kind of instruments can be made out of a water jug? A bass obviously, but what else?

Mark Zuckerberg introduced the world to Meta, a new type of Facebook located high above us in the sky. But what if there was already a Meta Verse already created that we could use to enter and create a second life and create endless World Peace?

We've heard all about drones (and I'm not talking Bees hahaha) in the army but even if they save pilots lives they are made of metal and plastic so global warming. But what if we could organically gush out our own little army of cream tadpoles to swarm our enemies...?

Because of one link of chain theory our global supply chain has broken down. We will not be able to get our kids gifts this Christmas. But what if we could streamline the chain into something more powerful? An arrow flies through the air at such great speed it can go straight through a human beings body. So why not something like that instead of chain? Okay

Going to college is so expensive my balls are being squeezed for cash, but going to a fake diploma milf is too illegal. What if you could legally print your own verified Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma with the Globehell Stamp of Approval? Would this be worth going in debt for?

Millenials and zoomers suffer from too much depression and anxiety so they have to use apps to order food. Meanwhile, you can't order food without using these apps because restaurants have got rid of their delivery drivers. What if you could knock on your neighbors door and they would deliver food for you? A new sense of community...

Each and everyday dozens of crimes are committed. The police don't give a damn or are too incompetent, meanwhile FBI CIA are up to some stuff you don't want to know about (very bad). So who's gonna solve the crimes? Drew and Josiah.

Kids these days watch youtube and TikTok today, how are they supposed to form a coherent moral philosophy that will act as their ethical compass? All they know is to invest stocks and smile to attract. Remember TGIF on ABC? Do you think we could learn something from the past?

Do you need to always be good to be good? Or is sometimes good to say "weeeeeeeeeeeeellll, I'll be. How about me be nasty?"? Sometimes to get the job done you need to roll up your sleeves and reach in the toilet and touch the turds "Lets get nasty!"

The the  the the the, the the? The? The the the the the the the. The! THE THE THE!!!!

We've all on occasion ate a bunch of food and said something like "I think I have a food baby". Usually a baby doesn't come out you just go dump, but what if one did? Pull it out the toilet and treat it like a child of your own? Would it get your arms all poopy? Is it made of poop? How do you make an egg pregnant?

Humanities constant driving around has created too much green house gas which is melting the icebergs. Water levels are rising! What the hell are you gonna do? Nothing and die? Or will you come up with a solution to create new icebergs? Your choice, but we chose to save the planet: Flush: The World Wide Iceberg

Al Gore: The Internet is a series of tubes. Me: Say what? Al Gore: Naw, Nice talking to you kid. But what if instead of a series of tubes, it was a series of podcasts and those podcasts were arranged in a network? Me: Right. Al Gore: Well let me recommend you a podcast network: Globe Hell Family Podcast Network. Me: Epic! Al Gore: Yes.

Philosophy and physics tells us that there are an infinite number of worlds with infinite possibilities. What if we could travel to another world? What if that world was a perfect utopia with World Wide Train and Wife? Can a parallel universe version of you kill you and take your power?

Its sure expensive to dress your entire body, but what if we don't buy clothes? Where does the clothes go if we don't wear them? Did you know clothes are flammable and really fun to wear? What if a weird kid picked out your clothes?

The Earth has been subject to possibly 100 years of destruction and mayhem of humanities evil...Okay now consider a bowl or rice and you're screaming at it and a second bowl of rice you're loving on. Which bowl is going to be tastier?

We've heard about WWT and WWT, but what about WWT? In this episode we talk about the EARTH and some of the different problems on it and its landscape. Is it leftists to go to the golf club they do a good brunch?

What if there was a word that you could get out if you're getting bdsm beat up too much? There is: its called a Safe Word. But what if that safe word could be applied to all life? What if reality itself could be bent to the will of the word...

Everybody knows that some of the best movies are leftists: Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3, Avengers and all Avengers films. But how do you know if a film is leftist? Just because its made by Marvel? No. There is another answer and its Lefterboxd a new app for your screens.

With Global Warming (TM) taking the world by firestorm our polar ice caps are melting and will spill onto cities soon. Okay. What will you do about it? Could you be the next Noah and collect two of every item?

Jeff Bezos is going into space soon and a lot of people have been saying that instead of coming back he should with a huge smile on my face and motioning for you to do the same okay what if he stays?

Before the time of the pandemic there was sense of wonder and whimsy in the world, but now bad things are happening all the time. What if bad things happened, but they were cool bad things like Alien invasions or Donkey Kong smashing up your street? Would the everyday acts of shocking violence really seem so bad if a Lake Placid Crocodile is rampaging the streets and Bill Pullman is too old as shit to do anything? 

Virgil Abloh, APC, Off-White, Supreme, Nike, Palace, Dime, Alltimers, Converse, Reebok. These are the greatest brands of all time. But what if they were made for and by leftists? What if you lined up at the Kid Robot store to get the new Kaws drop and someone was handing out Marx propaganda? What if it was grailed to vote for Bernie Sanders?

Stoners are some of the kindest and wisest people on the planet. What if the entire planet was kind and wise? Would you cough too much and would you say "damn I'm stoned"? Would you love your planet if it was inside a van filled with weed?

We've all heard about trickle down economy, but what about a trickle down tinkle to replace gold? You got a drickle in your dickle? Bout to let a little drip drop? Save it for a rainy day, piss is money.

"Smile sweetie" is something non-smiling women are told to do by men. Sexist! But what if smiling is truly beneficial for all people? What if you could live longer and last longer? And what if your non-smiley frowny face sends you straight to hell? Turn your frowned lips off and turn your smile up...

While Coronavirus Vaccination begins to bring back some things like hugging your friends, true gigs, the circus and rock n' roll acts are cancelled. What to do with all the acrobats and bass players? Kill them? No, there is a better answer...

The CIA is a truly evil company that has done bad stuff where ever they go. James Bond is a true "Spies Spy" who always gets the job done, a lover who always gets the job done. But What if he was Marxist? And what if Josiah taught Drew how to go on dates? Find out and more.

What is music? From Chuck Berry to modern spotify found music everyone has found music to be intoxicating. "Wow this is like drinking a beer". But Alcohol destroys lives, so does music? No, let me explain.