GuyCast

You may remember these gentlemen from such shows as GuyCast. Tristan is back with a new show called the Last Call Podcast. For this episode (and one more to follow) Sports Bird Fenix and Other Jeff come back to remember the bygone days. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for everything.  

"A man's got to know his limitations." -Clint Eastwood, Magnum Force. A man has to know when it's time to let something go. And our time has come. Our appololgies for our long absence, and for the much longer absence to come. It's been a great ride. We'll see you for our final episode in a month or so.

4 More years. That's how long it felt like it was going to take when I was sitting in line at the Special Collections Unit at the Maryland DMV. Also, what would you give to go back and do your 4 years of High School all over again? And, oh yeah. Obama.

Sorry for the delay. Between a baby, a lost episode and general ineptitude, we have been gone for a while but we hope to be back on a more regular basis. This episode deals with sophisticated topics like blowjobs from two headed girls, and mentally challenged people fighting lions for your entertainments. It's good to be back. Side note: the embedded photo for the episode is the result of shooting hollowpoint bullets into water. Fucking rad. 

Sorry about that folks. We had to take a little bit of time off for the arrival of a new member of the GC family. But we're back now and the episodes will hopefully continue to flow. Not much else to say here. But I hope you enjoy.

Today is a day of a couple of hypothetical scenarios. Also, we posted a picture of an apparently "innocent" young American girl that one of our European listeners happens to have met. $30K for doing nothing? Maybe not as easy as it sounds. Wanna see the original Reddit thread where this came up? You can find it here: http://tinyurl.com/7ejfbtf

Other Jeff joins us for what turns out to be a review of some of our Vegas exploits. What would you give up to hang out with a group of 5 girls for several hours? Good question.

Work on your cardio gentlemen. The end is near.

The title kind of said it all doesn't it? This is from night 2 of Anonymous' bachelor party from Las Vagas. It's got many of the characters you know and have come to love, and a new one who fucking hate's his new nickname. Fair warning, it was recorded via voice memo into open air through the iPhone, so quality isn't as good as usual, but I was fairly impressed. Hope you enjoy.

This week, we open with a few items of note and then get immediately into some of our nominations for the The Team. You guys came up with some great ideas for our international death squad, what was most suprising was how many similar nominations there were. We'd love to hear any other ideas that you have, send them on to email@guycast.net.

We open with some sports. NHL Playoffs, NFL Draft, America's wild and uncurable addiction to racism. Well, that's not technically a sport. Yet. But give fox a few years. They'll figure out a way to format it. Also we crown a GuyCast Ultimate Guy of the Week (Which is long. Excuse us on that one) and talk about reason's women don't like you. Or us, for that matter. Enjoy.

We would like your feedback on a hypothetical question contained within. E-mail us your response at email@guycast.net. Need clarification? Drop us a line. Enjoy.

So this is the first episode from the sixth official Guycast Studio. So it's cheating a little. Same house different room. But this does mark the beginning of a new era here. The new studio has a new layout and a different vibe. Also we saw Hunger games at midnight because we're teenage girls.

It's always been a dream of mine to hold a competition in which people come from around the world to compete in events of the upmost sexual depravity. That's probably because I'm a weirdo who things about these things. But tell me that wouldn't at least get a few million hits on youtube. Also, finding an image for a show about "Sex Records" is really difficult.

We go through our 2011 GuyCast Fantasy Football champion's final email, and talk about some of the issues that came up and might be fixed next year. If you're interested in this, please enjoy. If you don't like sports or are from Europe, feel free to skip this one.

First thing's first. New Website! Guycast.net . That it all. Anyway, other Jeff joins us to discuss male birth control, Snookie (kinda), The 2012 Oscar winner for best picture (SPOILER ALERT: It sucks balls). Full Metal Jousting, banging hookers, porn staring cops, and probably some other shit I don't even remember. Enjoy.

It's amazing how this show has remained a constant in our lives over the last several years. I can't even imagine what it's been like waching from the outside. Anyway, contained within is yet another step on the path that has been Guycast. Enjoy.

This may be the most absurd sketch, and I use that term very loosely, that we've ever done on here. There was rum involved, and I appologize in advance for the results.

It's what has become a semi-annual tradition around here where we spend the better part of an hour droning on about this years movies. This is the one where we talk mostly about movies that suck.

The final results from the 2011 GC Fantasy Football league are in. And we may have an upset. Other than that, it's mostly Tristan screaming about Tim Tebow. Mostly because he's dissapointed in his idiot friends. Can you guys see through the thin guise of my writting these in third person yet? You can, can't you. Shit.

Other Jeff joins us for what could have easily been a trip down memory lane, had we done massive doses of cocaine and been unbeleivable retards in our youth.

Let's put this on front street: Skyrim may not help the delivery rate of this show. But you get this one, at least, so be thankful for that. YOu ungrateful prick. Also, we talk about the raddest innovation in future gaming we've seen in a long time. Any a guy who injected roofing tar into someone's ass. That too.

So Skyrim came out last week, and I'm gonna be up front on this one: This may be the last one of these. Cause it's really good. In other news: Penn State. Ugh.

Sometimes you gotta take it upon yourself to take the whole party up a notch. Some people call that Charisma. Other's call it alcoholism. Whatever it may be, the GuyCast heroes have it. It's frankly amazing they made it back from New Orleans alive.

Lets play good news bad news. Good news is: the iPhone 4s is out. The bad news is: It's battery life is less that half of the previous generation. It will require twice daily charging. Just kidding. But wouldn't that be awful? Seriously though, Steve Jobs is dead. That's the bad news. But it doesn't seem quite as bad now right?

The NFL season is here once again, so we talk about that a little bit. But if you're not a sports fan, no worries! Pretty soon we make fun of a disabled kid, so you have that to look forward to!

Question: What if Michael Vick were white? Answer: Who gives a shit? I guess that's technically another questions. But these and other burning questions answered on this weeks riveting episode of the GuyCast.

Other Jeff and Susan join us once again for this years GuyCast Fantasy Football Draft. 9 out of 10 of our guys were there to make their picks. Mr. Wizzard was a dick and decided not to show. If he hadn't been such a quality contributor over the years, we would be disbatching a high level assasin or homeless guy to take his life. Enjoy.

Draft - Thursday August 25, 2011. 9 PM Eastern Standard Time. Want in? email@guycast.net

We recap a weekend filled with man shit, but more importantly, Mr. Wizzard asks us for advice on breakups. And with a room full of fucked up individuals like this one, there's plenty of "advice" to be had. And drunkeness. And mostly just lots and lots of bullshit.

Amy Whinehouse is dead. Suprise suprise. We talk some movies. Pretty standard stuff here. Almost 400 episodes. Why do I even still write these?

Marc with a 'C' from the Face Off Hockey Radio Show joins us for an hour long festival of rape jokes and general frivolity. Warning, stories involving penis removal and batman are contained within.

So the guys pretty much complain about modern culture for a half hour. Google plus. The Justice System. And the modern system for cutting movie trailers are on the firing line. I hope you enjoy Curmujins. I don't know i that's how you spell that. I'm gonna go with "probably not".

A $25K bar tab. An epic drunken weekend by our friend Steve. War Dogs. And in in depth discussion on the deep dark depression that has for too long clouded Sports Bird's life. What the fuck else could you want?

Ryan Dunn got drunk and got dead. Beyond that, we talk about a documentary Adam saw called Catfish. Discussion ensues.

Admitting that you quit your job over tension with your previous boss? Risky. Admitting that you spent the last year running an online Head Shop? Bold. Very, very Bold.

Arnold Schwarzenegger had a kid with an ugly hispanic house maid. That's pretty much all there is to this one.

We finally get to the old inbox. Talk a little more about the PSN hacking. Recap the Childish Gambino Show. And, oh yeah, Osamba Bin Laden is dead. We may chat about that for a minute or two.

I couldn't come up with a good title to this weeks episode. What follows is the rambling sentence that came about as a result of the process...We Lost an episode because it didn't save to The Social Network that was probably hooked up to Playstations Network that failed because it was probably attacked by ZOmbies and they couldn't get any help because their cellphones were all jammed by Cage Fighters...

Is between those who remember Disney Afternoon, and those who are young enough not to.  The divide is vast. For those of you who don't, I highly reccomend picking up the first season of Darkwing Duck on DVD, at least.

Strap in. What begins as a standard recap of animal escapes from New York zoos and such, but culminates with one of our favorite stories from our mispent youth. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Phoenix is back from the brink of death. Charlie Sheen continues on his warpath. Tristan made it back from PAX East. And Japan is falling into the god damn ocean. And Gilbert Gotfried loast his job as the voice of a cartoon duck because of some jokes. Way to go, pussies.

This one may have been better enjoyed in the days following Charlie Sheen's epic public meltdown. In the weeks following, maybe not so much. I'm gonna go ahead and take a shot and say by the time you hear this, he's dead. And this comedy is no longer in good taste.

Our Post superbowl show. Wow...This late posting has really gotten out of hand hasn't it... My Bad.

We talk a little about why nice guys suck, and Charlie Sheen helps illustrate our point. Susan joins us to talk about why girls hate everyone. And the Superbowl is this weekend. But really, who gives a fuck?

Sony has "launched" their new portable gaming system. And by "launched" I mean "Let the awesomeness of it's features wash over us for a few weeks" before announcing that it's "going to be powered by a small nuclear battery and cost a billion dollars". Wait, that last part shouldn't have been in quotes. Because that's actually true.

I have written and re-written what was meant to go in this space at least 5 times now, and I realized. It's just not that important. So this, instead of my ramblings, I present to you the first entry that comes up when you search for "Blowjob Joke" in google: One sperm says to the other: "How far is it to the ovaries?" The other one replies: "Relax. We just passed the tonsils."

The word is in, and dozens of pictures of guys balls have found their way to Jeff's phone. Please do not stop this. If I die tomorrow and the only thing I contributed to society is that Jeff gets pictures of sack sent to his phone for the next decade, I'll consider it a life well spent.

Look. I'm gonna level with you. I've been trying to put together shows for the last hour, and watch The Wild Wonderful Whites of West Virginia at the same time. This shit ain't happening, cuz this film is completely out of hand. I'm sure this episode was good. Just enjoy it, along with the embeded picture of this hot cowgirl chick, and then go watch that movie. Immediately.

What's in a word. If that word is faggot. Apparently a lot. Today the boys discuss a point that originated on The Joe Rogan podcast. It's not the first time a point like this was discussed, and the last time we discussed it in regards to the N word, a very nice man called in and threatened to kill my dog, I think. This should go well. Oh, and Mexico is an abandoned Hell hole.

Sometimes the journalists of our times get it right. They ask all the right questions. They probe and followup in a way that gets all the answers. But sometimes, they don't ask the important shit. That's where we come in. I mean, that's where they came in. The miners, I mean. Just listen.